It started with a routine patrol along the border of the Everfree Forest, as these sorts of stories usually do. I cruised along the outskirts of the trees, gliding on the smooth night winds. Dawn was already a dim glow on the horizon – my shift would be over soon.

And then I spotted her.

I didn't know what it was at first, just some crumpled pinkish object under the eves of the outermost trees. But this was a patrol mission, and I had orders to investigate anything unusual, especially if it might be some kind of threat preparing to venture out of the forest's borders and into any of the small towns nearby.

So I angled down toward this unusual intruder into Equestria, unaware of how she would soon intrude into my life.

It wasn't moving.

Cautiously, I approached the huddled pink shape. It lay at the base of one of the gnarled Everfree trees, the kind that defies all identification and lives only in this forest. It was some sort of creature, though none like I had ever seen before.

Perhaps I should have gone back and called for backup right at that moment, but something about her told me that she wouldn't harm me, though I wasn't sure why. I'd certainly been on the job long enough to know that creatures from the Everfree wouldn't necessarily be safe just because they were pink ... or cute. And she was cute. As strange as her form was, all sleek and smooth with strangely flat limbs that stuck out to either side, her proportions were not much larger than my own ... and she wore a frilled pink bonnet on her head. It definitely was a 'she', I was sure. I'd seen pink stallions before, but never one wearing something like that. And I'd seen dangerous creatures that were pink, but again, never one that wore a pink bonnet...

That settled it. If she wasn't a dangerous creature, then she must be a friendly creature in need of help – and I knew exactly what to do in such a situation.

I rushed to her side and tried to take a pulse, or check her breathing. No discernible pulse, though I hardly had any idea where to look for one. Not much in the way of breathing ... and she didn't seem to breathe in and out, more of a constant, whistling stream. She was alive, but she hadn't reacted to my prodding ... definitely unconscious. I'd have to take her back to my battalion's outpost for medical treatment.

When I went to scoop her up, I found that she was heavy. Heavier than her size would suggest. She was only a little bigger than me, but she seemed to weigh twice as much.

No matter. Us night guards don't do strength training every evening for nothing. With a grunt, I hefted her up on my back and began lumbering toward our outpost. Flying would be impossible while supporting her, but our outpost wasn't far. If I was lucky, I would get there at least before noon.

* * *

“Nguh ... wha?”

The noise from my back startled me a little. Okay, maybe a lot. When I jumped to the side, she slipped off my back and rolled into the tall grass.

“Ouch! You idiot! You're—” she poked her nose up out of the grass and saw me for the first time “—oh wow, you're...”

I rushed up to her. “Are you okay?”

“Ugh! Do I look okay to you?” She looked away, glanced back at me, then steadfastly away again.

“I, um... I'm sorry. I've never met anyone like you before.” I had no idea how she was supposed to look if she was okay. Approaching her much more cautiously now, getting close but not too close, I tried to look her over for injuries again. “Are you hurt? I can take you to my battalion's medics.”

To my surprise, she lifted right up out of the grass and hovered above it. “Like I would ever need a medic, hmpf!” She flew higher, rotating as she prepared to blast away ... but then she glanced back at me over her tail fins. She seemed to hesitate in midair, as if she wasn't sure where to go...

“Are you alright?”

Suddenly, she swooped back down to the ground, landing with her pale, smooth belly up. “Ach! Oh no! I do need a medic!” She glanced at me. “Um, probably.”

“Okay... Sure.” I came toward her.

“Ew, no I don't! Don't touch me!” She shot up to hover above the ground again before I could try to carry her.

“Oh, so you're okay to fly?”

“Of course I am!”

“But maybe we should keep it to a walk. Or in your case ... hover?” I didn't want to see her crash again, even though I had no idea who or what she was, but she sure didn't have any legs, so she wouldn't be walking anywhere.

She jetted around behind me and hovered there. When I looked back at her, she glanced away dismissively.

“Come on, then, this way,” I told her. Whatever she was, my battalion commander would know what to do with her. And now that I didn't have to carry her, we could probably get there before morning.

She followed close behind me, which made my flanks tingle, out of nervousness or whatever else, I wasn't sure.

Fear, I decided. Fear of the unknown. Ever since the Element of Language accident broke the fourth wall so hard it shattered, new species of creatures had been appearing all over these woods, most of them unfriendly. At least this one seemed friendly, but I knew nothing about her. Now that she was conscious, though, maybe I could find out a little more. “So, um,” I asked, trying to sound casual, “what's your name?”

“Tsunderplane.”

“That's an ... odd name.” And kind of difficult to pronounce. “Um, can I just call you 'Planny'?” I glanced back at her with a smile.

Tsunderplane turned her nose up at me. “Hmpf!”

I resisted the urge to chuckle. “So...?”

“I guess you can call me whatever you want.” She huffed again. “Not like I care or anything.”

I turned back to look where we were going, but my smile didn't go away. “So where are you from, Planny?”

There followed a long moment of silence.

“Planny? Um, I'm sorry, I can call you Tsunderplane if you want.”

“It's not that,” she said. “It's just... You made me realize I don't remember much.”

“Well, what do you remember?” Any information about where she came from would be very valuable, I was sure.

“There was this truck... The last thing I remembered was throwing myself in front of the truck to save a child with a striped shirt. And boom, I'm here. Where am I, anyway?”

What kind of monster was this 'truck'? I'd never heard of such a thing. Did it have the power to send someone to another dimension?

I stopped walking. “Oh, wait, that was really rude of me, wasn't it? Here I am, demanding your name, but I never gave you mine. I'm Knight Guard. Yes, I know it's pretty obvious, given my profession. And believe me, I've heard all of the jokes.”

Tsunderplane looked around. “And where is this?”

“This is Equestria, on the borders of the Everfree Forest.”

She looked at me strangely. “Never heard of it. But I guess I never bothered searching the internet deep enough to know every single place there is.”

The internet, huh? She sure was using a lot of words I'd never heard of before. But I supposed that would be a question for another time. “It's my assigned patrol route, and I'm taking you back to my—”

“To your outpost, for medics, yes yes. I remember. I'm not stupid.”

I looked back at her. “I'm sorry if I...”

“Just go already,” she said, turning tail for a moment. “Geez, you're such a... Ugh!”

And so we went. I figured it would be best to tell her a little about my world, so I tried to give her a brief introduction to it. Tsunderplane didn't reply. She would occasionally make a little sound under her breath as if she was annoyed with me for some reason. But, somehow, I knew she was still listening avidly, curious about this new world she'd fallen into.

The familiar ground passed quickly and relatively easily – even on the borders of the Everfree, this was a fairly tame part of Equestria. But it did end up being a little farther than I thought. Distances always seem so much shorter by air.

Soon enough, I spotted the familiar wooden palisades of our little fort's outer wall. This was a standard Everfree outpost, with a battalion of night guards and a cohort of day guards – one huge barracks building surrounded by an exercise yard and then a low outer wall. It was just one of several built around the borders of the forest now that it had become more dangerous than ever ... but this one was my home, and it felt good to be going back.

Tsunderplane didn't seem to like the looks of it much ... she hovered along closer and closer to me as we approached. Through the strategic buffer of open field.

Two unicorn guards challenged me when I came up to the front gate. Drat! That meant I'd already missed shift change, and it also meant I'd be getting leftovers for dinner.

“Identify yourself!” said Spear Shake, looking down at us from the left gate tower sternly.

“Give it a rest,” the other unicorn guard said. “It's obviously just Knight, coming back from his patrol.” Glory Shine looked down at us. “Who's that you've got with you, Knight?”

“This is Tsunderplane, a ... creature I found in sector sixteen. She seems friendly, but she needs medical attention.”

Glory looked at Tsunderplane with unveiled curiosity. “What ... is she?”

Tsunderplane hid herself behind me as best as she could ... which wasn't very well. I scratched the back of my mane. “I don't really know, I guess...”

“If you're going to bring that monster into the outpost, you have to go straight to the garrison officer for approval.” Spear Shake scowled at my new companion.

I smiled, despite his slur. That requirement would be no problem. Lieutenant Colonel Moon Breeze was the commander of the night guards here, and she and I were on great terms. I was sure she'd have no problem in seeing that Tsunderplane was harmless.

“And wipe that grin off your face!” Spear Shake nearly shouted. “It's after shift change, so you won't be going to your undisciplined bat buddies – Colonel Longshield is the officer on duty now, so you'll be reporting to him!”

Guano! Colonel Longshield was as strict of a commander as they came. It was no wonder that stiff day guards like Spear Shake looked up to him so much. And of course, he didn't really trust us bat ponies these days ... not since the Fluffentuft incident, and especially not after the second Fluffentuft incident.

“Don't worry about that,” Glory said. “I'm sure the Colonel will be fair and firm as always.” She pulled the rope to open the gate. “Come on in! He should be up on the parapet, just like every morning.”

Nodding, I stepped through the gate. It would be a breach of security protocols to simply fly over the wall. This should be normal, routine ... but for some reason I felt nervous about it. I suppose it was on Tsunderplane's behalf. Even though I'd just gotten to know her and we'd barely talked, I was already beginning to feel a little bit protective ... especially when heading toward introducing her to Colonel Longshield. I found myself inordinately worried about how he would treat Tsunderplane, when really it should be none of my concern.

Once we were inside the gate, I looked up at the roof of the barracks. In the morning glare, I could already see the Colonel pacing back and forth up there as he watched his troops exercise on the field below. I glanced back at Tsunderplane. “Do you think you can fly up to the roof with me? It would save us a lot of stairs.”

She huffed. “Just to the roof? Of course I can fly to the roof! What do you think I am, a cement truck?”

“I, um... I'm sorry.” I had no idea what she was, or what a cement truck was, for that matter. “I just wanted to make sure you weren't too injured to fly that far...”

The sunglasses-esque tinted glass that served as her eyes narrowed a bit. Suddenly, she zoomed right up toward the roof, making me struggle to keep up with her. But she never got too far ahead, even though I got the impression that she was flying much slower than she could have.

I raised an eyebrow. “So are you injured at all...?” But there would be no point in calling her out on it, so I merely followed her to the barracks roof.

We landed on the roof, a respectful distance from the Colonel. Well, I landed. Tsunderplane chose to hover along just above the rooftop.

A couple of pegasus day guards accompanied him, of course, but they knew me by sight. After a glance at the Colonel for confirmation, one of them gestured us forward. “Colonel Longshield will see you now.”

The Colonel was by far the oldest guardspony I'd ever known. He kept his mane buzzed down to almost nothing, and his wrinkles only made him look tougher. He carried his namesake full-body shield strapped to his back.

I approached him and gave him my best salute – which, if his scowl was anything to go by, still wasn't quite snappy enough for his tastes. But he did return the salute and order me to report.

“Sir, Guardspony First Class Knight Guard reporting. Identified one unknown creature in sector sixteen at approximately zero-five-hundred hours. This creature was—”

“Say it plainly, Guardspony! Nopony has time for all that.”

I nodded to acknowledge that, then spoke much more easily, “I found this creature unconscious on the outer edge of the Everfree Forest. She appeared to be alive, but injured, so I decided to bring her in for medical attention and identification. Midway through the trip, she woke up, and I learned that her name is Tsunderplane, that she came from another world where she appears to have sacrificed herself to save someone else, and that she remembers little else of that world. Requesting permission to take her to the medics for examination.”

Colonel Longshield flicked his hoof to motion me aside, and when I stepped out of his way, he stepped forward and studied Tsunderplane closely.

“Hey!” she cried out when he got a bit too close. “A little personal space, please!”

He harrumphed, but he did step back. “What are you, and what are you doing in Equestria?”

She crossed her wings in front of her and looked away, but after a long moment's pause, it became clear that everypony – even me – expected her to answer. Finally, she cracked. “I'm Tsunderplane, that's what I am! And I'm not doing anything. I'm just here, okay? Geez.”

“Hm.” The Colonel glanced at one of his bodyguards for a moment, then back at her. “Rude, and no respect for proper authority, but it doesn't seem anything like the other evil monsters we've been getting.”

“So she can stay?” I asked all too eagerly. Even I cringed at the tone in my own voice.

Colonel Longshield raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled darkly. “Oh, so it's like that, is it?” He snorted. “Well, I will allow it to stay at the garrison, at least until the point where it's received medical attention and the Princess of Magic has come to identify it and send it back where it came from.” Before I could so much as smile, he dropped the next part of his order: “And so long as it remains in this garrison, you will personally accompany and monitor its activities, filing daily reports. You will be personally responsible for all of its actions. Is that clear?”

“But, Sir, the next two days are scheduled to be my weekend. I'm supposed to be off tomorrow and the next day.”

“Is that clear?”

“I understand, Sir, but would it be possible to assign someone else to---”

“You are dismissed, Guardspony.” Colonel Longshield promptly turned and marched back to the edge of the roof. He immediately began yelling something about how lazy the guardsponies down below him were.

I sighed. “Thank you, Sir.” Giving him an un-returned salute, I looked back at Tsunderplane. “Well, Planny, it looks like we're going to be stuck together for a while.”

“Duh. I can hear.” She gave me a condescending barrel roll.

“So, should we take you to the medics now?”

“No – I feel fine now.”

I shook my head. “Of course you do.”

“I was probably just hungry. You people must have some kind of refueling station around here, right?”

“Well, there's the chow hall, if that's what you mean...”

She jetted over to the stairs that went down into the barracks building. “Fine. Come on, let's go.”

I caught up with her easily ... mostly because she had no idea where to go once she got to the first landing and was presented with two doors and a stairway downward. But I stopped for a moment, not giving her any hint which way to go. “If you didn't really need medical help, then why did you come with me?”

“I thought I was hurt. It's not like I like you or anything. Ugh, why would I like you?” She made a gagging motion.

“But you weren't really hurt, you were just hungry?”

“Um, yeah. Duh.” She looked away. “Idiot.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Right. Well, the chow hall is down this way, come on.”

* * *

Thankfully, when we got to the chow hall, it was nearly empty. All the night guards had already come and gone, and only a few of the off-duty day guards were still here, picking over the remains of their breakfasts.

The cooks and the guards with kitchen duties still bustled and clanked around in the kitchen, but when I brought Tsunderplane up to the counter, only one bored-looking unicorn guard was there. “Too late for breakfast,” he said. Then he waved his hoof over the grungy food left on the counter. “But you're free to have some leftovers.”

I looked over the cold pancakes and greasy scrambled eggs with a cringe. But there were still some fruits left, and they wouldn’t go bad that fast, so I grabbed an apple and a couple oranges, and also a carton of milk that was hopefully still a little bit cold.

Tsunderplane, though... She looked over the leftover food and frowned, sniffing at it fitfully.

“Come on,” I told her, “It's not that bad.”

But she just kept sniffing around, gradually drawing farther and farther away from the actual food. She ended up drawing toward one of the flickering lights near the corner of the ceiling. After a long, hard sniff as she hovered right up next to it, she shot back to the counter and stared down the unicorn there. “Those lights! What are they burning?”

The Guardspony looked up at the nearest light. “Well, this is a pretty remote outpost, and they haven't routed any magic power lines here yet, so our lights burn, um...?” He seemed at a loss for the word, but then dug around underneath the counter for a moment. “Oh, right. Kerosene,” he said, holding up a small bottle.

Tsunderplane swiped the bottle from his hooves before he could even blink. And before I could do anything about it, she jetted off to one of the empty tables.

I looked over at the guardspony and shrugged. “She's, um ... different. Is it going to be a problem that she...?”

“No, no.” He waved his hoof at me. “Don't worry about it. We've got lots of those bottles, and it's not my job to keep track of 'em.”

“Okay, thanks.” With a nod, I took my food and followed to the table where Tsunderplane waited for me.

“Ugh, what took you so long?” she asked. “It's not like I have to wait for you or anything, but then I try to be nice and you make me wait so long!”

It wasn't really that long, and I had been covering up for her stealing ... but that wasn't my biggest concern at the moment. I set my tray down and pointed at the bottle of kerosene she clutched with the tip of her wing. “Planny... Are you really sure you can drink that?”

“I'm a machine monster, you idiot. What do you expect me to drink? Apple juice?”

I watched in trepidation as she lifted it to her mouth and began greedily gulping down kerosene. The smell of the lamp fuel was overpowering.

A moment later, a strange look came over Tsunderplane's face. She grew pale as she stopped drinking. Just as I was about to ask her if she was okay, the kerosene came spewing back up. Tsunderplane trembled and sweated as she threw it up all over the table ... and all over my food.

With a sick, droning whine, she went down face-first on the floor, the kerosene bottle tumbling away.

I leapt up from the table and screamed for a medic – keeping Tsunderplane safe was going to be even harder than I thought!

Author's Note

This kills the Tsunderplane.

Commissioned by the artist vacuvung. If you wish to read this fiction alongside the illustration, click here to find out how https://www.deviantart.com/vavacung/art/Pay-What-You-Want-SECOND-WORLD-VOL-8-778020712