The Squatter and the Cellist, A Slav Love Story

by Punished Venom Muddy

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Drama, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Octavia, Comedy, Other, Romance, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2993

Anon is a homeless man in Canterlot and relies on his music for bits, due to the ponies turning him down due to his alien figure. What will happen when another musician happens across him stealing her audience?

It was a cold winter's day in Canterlot, the snow was falling and ponies huddled close to their partners for warmth. Octavia however, was alone. Exhausted from having to perform three days in a row she was looking forward to the break that Hearth's Warming Eve would bring, even if she had to spend it alone. She had only one performance left before she could take a long needed break.

On her way home from the stage she noticed that it was empty of an audience, confused and angry she heard a strange song coming from nearby. She followed the music, wanting to confront the pony that was stealing her show. What she found was no pony, but a creature she had never seen around before.

Rated Teen for alcohol use in story

Published 2017-08-03 13:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-03 13:00:07 UTC

Privet! Come, Squat With Me.

Octavia trudged through the snow, the weather wasn't that bad, but she was exhausted and cold. She cursed herself for not remembering to bring a scarf, even after reading that the weather team would be brining in a light snowfall in preparation for Hearth's Warming Eve. Hearth's Warming Eve, a day when ponies would stay inside with their couples and snuggle up next to a warm fire. Octavia however would be spending Hearth's Warming Eve alone, but she still looked forward to it because of the break it would give her from her performances.

She finally reached the stage, glad that this would be her last performance for a while. She had already performed three days in a row here, as her contract specified. Heartless pony, saying things like: 'You'll be a hit' and 'The crowds will come stampeding to see you'. While both of these statements were technacally true, it didn't change the fact that she was sick of playing, a thing that she didn't want to happen. Ever.

Heading backstage to set up, she took note that the audience was almost completely empty. Only a hoof-full of ponies sat in anticipation, waiting for her to begin playing. She shrugged this off as it just being the weather, swearing that more ponies would come out of whatever warm places they were in when the show started. Finishing setup and tuning her cello she nodded to the stagehoof to open the curtains, starting the show. While she was right about more ponies showing up, there was nowhere near her normal audience by the time the curtains closed.

Octavia was a mix of emotions by the end of her performance, glad that she now had a break until after the Holidays, but also melancholy that practically nopony showed up to hear her. Wallowing in her emotions she collected her bits from the stage manager, thanking her for letting her play then heading off towards her apartment. On her way into the more residential area of town she heard something strange, the sound of hooves clopping rapidly and laughter. She knew these sounds, but there was one that she didn't recognize.

She heard it faintly at first, but soon it began to grow in volume as she trotted closer. It was the sound of music, but an instrument and song that she didn't recognize (https://youtu.be/gmMLgNxI6Q0). Picking up her pace she moved closer towards the music until she found herself standing outside of a large collection of dancing ponies, faces of joy surrounding her. Confused, she carefully leaned her cello case against a building, confident that it would be fine while she investigated who was causing the commotion.

Moving into the crowd, having to weave between dancing couples she had an epiphany. the reason that nopony had shown up to hear her music was because they were all here, listening to this strange music. With a newfound emotion of anger and hate for the pony that had stolen her show she picked up her pace, moving with a purpose and parting the sea of happiness around her. She was close now, she could hear them speaking to the crowd as they played.

"Spasibo, thank you my friend!" they said in a masculine voice, with an accent that she couldn't place.

She finally pushed through the last remaining ponies and was able to look at the face of the stallion that had robbed her of her audience, reducing the amount of bits that she got from her work. However, when she was finally able to look upon her competition she found herself loosing her anger and being filled with confusion. What sat, or more accurately, squatted before her was something she had never seen before.

It looked like a minotaur, but without the usual structure of the legs, only bending in one place near the middle. His face was strange too, while not bovine in appearance it was definitely alien to her. He had small features and a bristly chin, it looked sort-of handsome. Octavia blushed and shaked these thoughts from her head, she had to be mad. This, thing, had taken away her audience and cost her quite a few bits.

"Excuse me, but I believe you have some explaining to do" Octavia said, now standing directly in front of the squatting thing.

"Oh! Privet, yez. Iz old song from Motherland, called Serdtse v Butylke, or Heart in a Bottle for you" He said, continuing to play his music and thanking the ponies that came up and put bits in the brown beret he had laid on the ground before him.

Octavia was stunned for a second, how could a thing like him just shrug her off? Didn't he know who she was? She took a deep breath and was about to begin again when she really took a look at the squatting male before her. He looked cold, a pair of ratty old cloves barely covering his hands, his fingertips a rosy red. His clothing looked like a strange perversion of the running suits that she had see some of the more athletic ponies in Canterlot wearing; except his was much larger and shaped to his body, the black fabric accented by three white lines and a logo that read 'Adibas'. His Pants matched the same as the jacket and on his feet he wore dirty black shoes.

The gears in Octavia's head began to turn and she solved why this thing was dress this way in the cold, playing for bits. He was homeless. It all seemed so clear now, he hadn't meant to steal her audience, he was just trying to make enough bits to get him through the season that she knew everypony would be indoors for. Her ears flattened back against her head in embarrassment, she was going to chew out a homeless thing, just because she had a few less bits than usual. The man didn't take notice to Octavia's mental recoil as she began to profusely blush, he just kept playing his strange music and smiling.

After a few hours the crowd of ponies had dispersed, leaving only a few stragglers, Octavia, and the man. With his audience gone he stood up, now towering over Octavia's sitting form. No matter how hard she tried, she wasn't able to leave, the music being almost hypnotic as the man bounced back and forth whilst playing his strange instrument.

He tied a string around his instrument, keeping it from extending and bent over to pick up his hat, pouring the bits into a burlap sack and almost filling it. Octavia pulled herself from her trance of staring at the towering musician to find him now walking away, hat on his head, a hefty bag of bits in one hand and his well used instrument under his arm.

Octavia quickly ran after the man, finding that she had forgot to grab her cello. Running in the opposite direction she found it in the same place she left it, albeit now it was lying on the ground instead of against the wall. She cringed, hoping that it was undamaged and threw it onto her back, spinning around to look for the mystery musician. However, she wasn't able to find him, the entire square was barren of any life except her and a few ponies enjoying the snowfall. She galloped over to the two ponies who sat on the bench, cello bouncing around on her back the whole way.

"Did either of you see which way that thing went?" She asked them, snapping them back to reality as they looked confusedly at Octavia.

The two of them looked at one another, then at octavia, pointing off in the direction they saw the mystery musician disappear to. Octavia thanked them quickly and then galloped off in the direction they pointed to, leaving two confused ponies in her wake.

Octavia ran around, frantically searching the streets and alleyways of Canterlot city, finding no trace of the strange man anywhere. After searching for hours and with night fully upon her, she decided to give up her search. Disappointed that she had lost her interesting new find. She began to head home, hoping that by some slim chance, she could find him tomorrow. Walking home, she saw a busy bar across the street. Too tired and sad for even a light drink she continued home, until a stallion stepped outside, opening the door and allowing a familiar sound to spill into the dark streets (https://youtu.be/PlLQsUGefdo).

By some Hearth's Warming Eve miracle she had found him again! She crossed the street and opened the door, allowing the warmth, light, and music to wash over her. She saw him inside, seated on a comidically small chair and playing his music for the patrons that drank and danced arrow nd him. Octavia was amazed at the effect this man had on the ponies around him, spreading joy wherever he played. Octavia saw the man finish, standing and taking a deep bow before setting his instrument on the chair and walking over to the bar.

"Vodka pozhaluysta, please" He said holding up three fingers, the bag of bits in his other hand.

The barpony poured him three glasses of the clear liquid and slid it towards him, but when the man was about to pull his bits out of the bag the barpony shook his head, smiling at the confused man.

"It's on the house friend, it's the least I could do after you brought all these patrons here. This is the busiest it's been in ages, you're welcome to free drinks here anytime" he smiled, sliding the man another glass of vodka and returning to serve the other ponies who had come up to the bar.

The man shrugged, now four glasses of vodka in hand as he walked over to a secluded booth in the corner of the room, within eyesight of his instrument still on the chair. Octavia watched as he took a seat and immediately downed the two shots in his left hand in one swift motion, shivering as the warm liquid reached his stomach. Octavia tried to casually make her way to his table, but ended up making more of an obvious zig-zag towards his table and taking a seat across from him. The man looked up at Octavia quizzically, making her temporarily regret her boldness in approach, a blush begging to spread across her face. Quickly looking away, hoping he didn't notice she looked back at the man who slid one of the glasses of vodka over to her, raising his own and signaling a toast.

Octavia smiled and picked up the glass with a shaky hoof, raising it to meet his and whatching as he quickly drank his, throwing his head back and drinking it in one go. Not wanting to be shown-up, octavia attempted the same maneuver. She threw her head back, swallowing the drink in one go, the clear liquid burning its way down her throat and into her stomach, making her cough for a bit before recomposing herself. When her coughing fit finally subsided she saw that the man was laughing at her, banging a hand on the table and wiping a tear away with the other. Octavia became extremely embarrassed and attempted to break eye contact, covering her face with her hooves as her face flooded with red.

The man's laughing ceased as he saw Octavia cover herself, placing a single hand on her shoulder, rousing Octavia from her current hidden position. A smile gracing the man's gruff features that made Octavia blush even more.

"Blyad', you ok?" He said, a worried smile on his face as he looked into Octavia's eyes. "You should be more careful little pony, vodka ztrong drink!" He finished, beginning to chuckle again.

"I am not a 'little pony' I am a mare that is more than capable of handling my liquor" Octavia said, puffing out her chest a bit in attempts to seem more intimidating. The man laughed heartily at this.

"Ok, ok 'Miss Mare'. Care to have some more then?" He asked, a mischievous smirk crossing his lips and making Octavia rethink her words.

"I-I uh, wouldn't want to impose. you're clearly enjoying yourself and I'd hate to intrude" Octavia said, beginning to slide out of the booth.

She had almost made it away when an arm grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back into the booth, this time on the same side as the man. This elected a surprised "Eep!" from Octavia that the man either didn't notice or ignored, turning towards the bar and calling out to the pony working there.

"Oi, glupyy!" He called out, catching the attention of the barpony "More vodka, and keep it coming!" He said, finishing the request by tossing him a smaller bag of bits. The barpony quickly grabbing a bottle and two glasses, bringing it over to the table and setting it on the table, the man filling the two glasses.

"K vashemu zdorov'yu, to your health!" He said as he picked his up and once again drank it quickly, letting out a shiver that Octavia could feel sitting next to him.

"And to yours!" Octavia said as she attempted to once again mimic his drinking method, this time having more luck in not coughing afterwards. The man raised an impressed eyebrow as Octavia gave him a smug smirk, beginning to pour a second glass for the both of them.

The two of them sat, drinking like that for hours into the night, until both of them were throughly sloshed. Now engaging in drunken conversation that the bottle and both their glasses were empty.

"Sho, you're tellin me that yur the only one of yur kind?" Octavia slurred, now leaning into the man as she listened to his tale.

"yah, de only Slav in Equershtria" He answered, his speech as slurred as Octavia's.

"Wow, don yue geht lonlee?" She asked him, tears beginning to form at the thought of anything so alone.

"Da, inogda ya plachu poka ne usnu" he said, returning to his native tongue that he called 'Russian'.

"Wuht? I dohnt undarstand yue" Octavia said, feeling a wave of sick come over her. "Ohe, I'm gohnna puhke!" She let out fast enough for Anon, as he introduced himself as, to turn her head away from him allowing Octavia to spew the contents of her stomach all over the opposite booth seat.

"Blyad'! yue nheed schleep, or a bukot" Anon said, picking up Octavia under his arm as he left a few more bits on the table and walked over to his instrument, throwing it under his other arm and grabbed Octavia's cello in his remaining hand.

Octavia liked being carried, it felt nice, it felt nice to spend time with Anon and learn about his home and culture. Apparently he played folk songs on a thing called an accordion, using his music to help him pay for anything he needed through the bits he got. He told her that ever since he came to Equestria a few months ago he had been unable to work due to ponies being afraid of his alien body. Eventually Anon had turned to music and that had worked amazingly! He was able to get more bits from just playing in public than Octavia made on contracted performances sometimes. She was lost looking in his eyes, a blush spreading across her face when she noticed that his mouth was moving.

"Waht?" She said, bringing herself back to what was happening.

I shaid where dou yue lihv?" He said, opening the door to the bar and bringing both of them outside in to the cold night. Octavia pointed towards her apartment with a lazy hoof.

"Ohver ther. Nuhmbr 22" She said slumping back down, allowing Anon to carry her rag doll of a body home.

At Some point Octavia had fallen asleep and now woke up on the floor outside of her room while Anon fished around in her cello case for the key, eventually finding it and unlocking the room, sliding the cello case through the door. Octavia smiled, she had a plan as to how she would have someone to spend Hearth's Warming Eve with. When Anon bent over to pick her up again she quickly jumped up at him, locking her lips with his. A look of pure shock washed over Anon's face as Octavia kissed him with her eyes closed, breaking away after what felt like minutes and looking at him with sultry bedroom eyes.

"Sphend tha nihte wit mhe Anon" Octavia pleaded, a hopeful smile on her face.

"O, yebat' da" was all Anon said before lifting her off the ground and locking lips with her again, now making his way into her room.

Anon carried Octavia to her bed and fell onto it with her, taking a moment from their kissing to cast off his tracksuit jacket and pants, along with his hat and glove, leaving him in only boxers and a shirt. Octavia smiled at her now disrobed bedmate and snuggled herself under the covers, quickly finding herself joined by Anon.

"Ya lyublyu tebya Octavia" he said before kissing her on the head an wrapping an arm around her, quickly falling asleep.

Octavia didn't need to speak his language to understand what he meant, snuggling into his embrace she closed her eyes. Feeling her mind become clear for an instant as her emotions swelled.

"I love you too Anon" she said before falling asleep with her new partner for Hearth's Warming Eve.

Author's Note

So I know that's it's nowhere near Christmas/Hearth's Warming Eve, but I wanted a 'winter-y' setting.

First time writing any kind of romance, so not sure if it's any good. Tips and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

I hope that you enjoyed it, proshchay

~Muddy :raritywink: