Fascinating Flatulence Fiction

by Dire_Straits

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Octavia, Sex, Daring Do, Slice of Life, Wonderbolts, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3219

Embarrassing short stories of ponies who find themselves in compromising circumstances when a certain bodily function arises out of the blue!

Sometimes Nature calls at the most inconvenient times! During coitus, while we're eating or driving or when we're in a place where there's no where to relieve ourselves. These stories are dedicated to exactly that... but more specifically excrement of the gaseous kind.

Published 2017-08-03 17:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-03 17:10:07 UTC

Octavia's Rectal Recital

"Ugh, my stomach... I feel so bloated!"

Octavia moved a forehoof down and rubbed it cautiously over her belly that rumbled in discomfort. She certainly could not have picked a worse time to have dinner cause a case of indigestion. Five minutes, five whole minutes before the curtain would rise and she'd be stuck there and forced to ride out the pain until the end. She looked around at all the rest of the ponies who made up the orchestra. She dug her teeth nervously into her bottom lip, anxiety built up a knot in her throat as she felt pressure building against the tight dry orifice that was just beneath the base of her tail. "I could try to just, ...ease it out slowly... maybe it won't make a sound," she thought silently to herself. She looked around again, took a deep breath and relaxed.

She instantly regretted her attempt as she relaxed her anus and went to relieve herself of the gaseous waste that was causing her such discomfort. *Frrt!* It was dry and, much to Octavia's dismay, audible enough that she seized back up and clenched her pucker tightly as possible. She heard it and she jerked her head about nervously to the ponies sitting next to her to see if they had heard it. She then took a sniff at the air... the smell of body odor permeated almost everything else. She counted herself lucky.

Three minutes and counting, Octavia was itching to run away and just relieve herself, but she felt as though the flatulence was merely a prelude to something much worse... something she might not have time to deal. Besides that, this particular Conductor was a strict as nails and absolutely hated waiting on anypony but the audience. She fumbled with her bow, whimpering quietly as she shifted on her hind legs. No sudden movements, not a single one or else she might expel the noxious fumes and destroy her dignity.

Two minutes to show time, they were in the middle of tuning their instruments. Octavia redoubled her efforts, trying to best to adjust the strings of her cello, then gave them a thorough test to make sure they were properly adjusted. Her face was strained, her hind legs almost buckling as she clenched her rump tightly. She gave Fate a silent thanks to the fact that nopony was behind her to notice.

"I can do this... the first piece is only five minutes... I can survive that," Octavia recited to herself quietly as the curtain raised and she found herself staring into a crowd of at least two hundred ponies. The conductor's baton tapped the wooden podium loudly, drawing silence from both the crowd and the orchestra. You could hear a pin drop, a mouse squeak and most definitely a pony who was trying to let out a fart. The silence almost taunted her, as if it wanted to see her give up her hold and just let it go.

The painful moment of silence faded away quickly enough as the Conductor motioned his baton and the orchestra began playing. A beautiful composition too, a nocturne titled "Reverence To the Stars". She tried to enjoy the music, but to focus on both playing her part perfectly and at the same time clutching her anus shut to spare her dignity was proving to be quite the difficult challenge. Her only peace being that her parts in this piece were easy enough, minus the two crescendos, but even a novice cellist could manage with their eyes closed.

Her stomach churned in anger, her pucker buckled and she felt her hold weakening as the final crescendo was played out and the piece came to it's rather abrupt end. Oh how she wanted to run away, how she wanted to gallop off the stage and just let it all go. Unfortunately, the consequences of having staved it off this long washed over her. If she even went to move, she'd relax and then... well, the ponies here would get an encore in F Major.

The conductor offered the orchestra a pleased smile, turned the page then tapped his wand again. A serenade this time, and this particular piece didn't call for her cello at all. A relief, but still there was no way for her to pardon herself. It was considered rude for anypony to go offstage while the curtain was raised. So while she was able to enjoy the soft violin heavy melody now filling the auditorium, she still found herself unable to relax. The pressure was surmounting, her eyes watered slightly... oh how she just wanted to let go at this point! She almost didn't care that her flatulence would be incredibly loud and the sound would be amplified by the design of the room. The smell would be horrendous, no doubt! All eyes would ogle her with shock and awe, then turn to scowls as they silently berated her for doing something so rude and unbecoming of a ladylike mare.

The piece ended, the conductor turned and bowed and there was a five minute intermission issued as the curtain slowly drew down. At last, a break! A moment to go and find a private place where she could relieve herself of this terrible discomfort. She went to go relax back on all fours, but her eyes shot open and hooves grasped her cello in fright as her her black puffy anus puckered out in a desperate attempt to release the burden it had thus far held back. Her hooves fumbled, she found her equilibrium lost as her cello tumbled over along with her body. It made quite the racket as it hit the stage floor and Octavia found herself quickly landing on top of it! The fall was enough to knock the breath out of her! She gasped sharply, then whimpered as all eyes turned on her in a mixture of concern and curiosity as to what had happened. What came next was the most longest drawn out dry fart that probably anypony had ever heard! It cut the silent like a hot knife through butter. *Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*, her anus puckered outward, squeezing out the gaseous waste through the small wrinkle which caused gave it a slightly higher than usual monotone tonality. It lasted only seven seconds, to which in Octavia's mind might as well be eternity.

It finally ended, she remained on the ground... face down, her face hot and reddened with embarrassment. She could already feel their judging stares. She was ruined, she'd never show her face again!

"Hey... are you okay," came a voice she recognized as the conductor. She meekly looked up, tears in her eyes. She feared she'd see disappointment, but she only saw a comforting smile.

"It's all right, nothing to be ashamed of... happens to the best of us," he consoled her as he helped her back to her hooves.

"R-really.. I'm... I'm sorry, I tried to hold it in," Octavia went to explain, but the conductor put a hoof to her muzzle to quiet her.

"I applaud your diligence... as does everypony here, for remaining a professional while we were playing," he looked around and saw that all the other orchestra members seemed to agree with him.

"But honestly... you could've just let it go before we started. I mean, I know my reputation, but even I can't be that cruel as to make a pony remain in discomfort," he said as he picked up her cello.

Octavia just smiled, still blushing hotly as all eyes were on her at the moment.

"Thank you, but now... I think I really need to use the little mare's room," and with that said, Octavia rushed off.

As she passed one of the ponies playing in the brass, he gave her a smile and a wink.

"Between me and you, that was... kind of hot, lets talk after the show's over," he whispered as to not be overheard by the other ponies nearby.

"Oh.... oh my," Octavia stuttered as she stepped away, she was... quite frankly charmed by the remark. It was only while she was on the toilet did she give it anymore thought. Two things then dawned on her... One, she was contented by a stallion flirting with her for farting in front of him, publicly. Secondly, she was actually considering his proposition! Then thirdly she only realized when a hoof reached down to her more tender regions, she was unusually damp and it certainly wasn't from urinating...

Breaking Wind

"Nice flying, Crash. Though your barrel roll could use a little tweaking."

Another day, another workout composed of flying routines concerning formation when doing tricks. Though Spitfire only scheduled Soarin and Rainbow Dash to show up.

"Yeah yeah, I'm working on it! I can't be perfect at everything," Rainbow Dash grumbled as she peeled the breathable latex like uniform down her athletically toned body. She kicked it off the end of her left hind leg, causing it briefly to fly through the air and drape across the bench.

"What was that, did I hear Crash being modest," Soarin feigned shock as he held up his forehooves to his cheeks with his muzzle slightly ajar in a gasp!

Rainbow shot him a scowl, then turned to Spitfire as she let out a laugh just as she finished squeezing out of her own uniform. While normally they kept the playful insults to a minimum, there was a certain looseness when it was just the three of them. She never could put her hoof on why they felt particularly more open, but then she thought perhaps they were always like this when not around large crowds.

"Easy Soarin, be nice to the rookie," Spitfire giggled as she put away her uniform into her respective locker. She then turned and faced them both with a unusually large grin on her face.

"So... shower then, girls," she asked both Soarin and Rainbow Dash.

"Oh you know it, honey," Soarin answered in a rather campy feminine voice. He snorted and giggled at his own response, much to Rainbow Dash and Spitfire's chagrin.

"One of these days I'm going to turn you to the dark side, I bet my wings on it," Spitfire vowed with a tone of absolute assurance. She kicked her locker door closed as her eyes remained fixated on Soarin.

"Oh, that's so not going to happen," Soarin was quick to dispute, "I'm strictly for stallions, no foal holes for me," the pegasus went on to add quickly.

"I still can't believe he's... like that," Rainbow Dash reiterated as she always did when the subject of Soarin's preference for studs came up. She lost herself in a bit of thought as she went to put her own uniform away in it's proper locker.

"Well I've said before, I may prefer stallions... but even I won't turn down a nice mare derriere if she likes it like that," Soarin was quick to remind Rainbow Dash, as he had many times before. This was a particularly well known fact because Soarin had been caught numerous times with a certain mare Wonderbolt in the showers.

"Not, ever, going, to, happen," Spitfire emphasized the pauses between each word as she gave him a deadpan stare. He'd offered her many times before, and each time she reminded him that that particular hole was an exit only.

Rainbow Dash was blushing by this point.... she really didn't want to hear of Soarin's escapades or why precisely Spitfire had said what she did in response to Soarin's claim to loving "Mare Derriere" as he put it.

"Sooo... about that shower, huh guys," Rainbow Dash tried to reroute the discussion to something more interesting. Mostly anything except what was being talked about now.

"Oh I know, but that didn't keep you from liking my tongue shoved up there," Soarin was sure to remind Spitfire.

Spitfire was blushing madly and instantly she was in Soarin's face and had him pinned against the lockers!

"Keep that shit to yourself or I'll make sure you regret it," she spouted out loudly... she wasn't angry he brought it up as so much that he brought it up in front of another pony. Even if it was Rainbow Dash, it didn't make it any less embarrassing!

Soarin mused as he peered into those angry yellow eyes filled with a burning animosity.

"Oooh... well if you think that's bad, what if I tell Crash about your other, even dirtier secret," Soarin posed with heavy sass, he was playing with fire... and he loved it.

"Please, um... stop... I really don't want to hear about this," Rainbow Dash begged. She was really uncomfortable at this point, but neither pony seemed to regard her presence much.

Spitfire's eyed narrowed to slits, her face drawing close as it could as she glowered with a fiery ire in those eyes of hers.

"Don't you bucking dare, Soarin," Spitfire warned... there was something almost sinister in the way she stated her warning that put Rainbow Dash on edge.

"Oh... a dare huh, well then," Soarin took a deep breath, then exhaled as he turned his gaze toward Rainbow Dash.

"Spitfire told me she gets aroused when you break wind in front of her," he said in the flattest tone he could muster.

"Oh you are SO, BUCKING, DEAD," Spitfire cried out as she swung him around toward the door. She spun around and then, summoning all her strength, gave him a good double hind hoof kick that sent the pegasus hurdling through the front door. Her chest was heaving as she breathed heavily... she was really riled up as she turned to Rainbow Dash.

"So... is... is that true," Rainbow Dash asked, the look on her face showing a mixture of emotion.

Spitfire contemplated as she looked at the ground, then expelled a deep sigh...

"Yeah... it's... it's true," Spitfire lamented. Secretly, she had always wanted to tell Rainbow Dash, but knew she'd probably just make things extremely uncomfortable between them. She had made the mistake of telling Soarin about her issue, whom she often trusted with such matters since he was fairly open minded.

"Ow... I forget how hard you can buck," Soarin came in a few seconds later, then stared back and forth between the two mares.

"Well, you said you wanted to tell her," Soarin said with a pained smile, he was certainly sore from Spitfire's efforts.

"Not, like, that," Spitfire groaned then looked up at Rainbow Dash apologetically. Was she going to be scrutinized, would Rainbow now regard her with strange queer stares and feel uncomfortable. This wasn't the kind of relationship you needed with ponies whom you depended on when performing public shows.

"That's pretty weird, but kind of kinky," Rainbow Dash admitted with some reluctance. Her sympathy for Spitfire's situation allowed her to be a bit more open now too.

"All right, Crash, to my office on the double," Spitfire exclaimed in that all to well familiar commander tone she often took on when she was large and in charge. She quickly hoofed it out of the locker room and toward where her office resided.

"Well, that could've been a bit less painful, but I suppose I should let you get going... she hates waiting, you know," Soarin waved a hoof and was soon flying back out the door leading outside.

"Horse feathers, what did I just get myself into," Rainbow Dash entertained her mind with thoughts as to the reason behind Spitfire asking to come to her office. Was she to be punished? Perhaps this was in relation to what just transpired in the locker room? He mind was bogged down as she entered Spitfire's office.

"Ma'am, you wished to see me," asked Rainbow as she moved up to the desk where Spitfire was sitting.

"Yes I did," retorted Spitfire calmly, "Rear up, forehooves on the edge of my desk and rump presented," the yellow coated pegasus ordered.

Rainbow Dash gulped in fear, but didn't hesitate to assume the position as told to. Her back arched with her wings spread out so that her rear was left quite exposed. She'd been here quite a few times before in this same position, which usually meant she was about to be a victim for Spitfire's crop.

Spitfire moved around to the front of her desk, but didn't brandish the crop as Rainbow expected to. Instead, she felt Spitfire's warm soft nostrils snugly pressed her black fleshy puffed up doughnut.

"I command you to fart, Rainbow Dash," Spitfire ordered sternly, then pressed her warm wet tongue against the wrinkle that was Rainbow Dash's anus.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened in shock and her her cheeks went absolutely scarlet! Well... it was a command... and Rainbow Dash never dare defied a command after she had received a good few beatings from Spitfire. She relaxed herself then squeezed as though she was relieving herself. There was a long pocket of musty hot air that sputtered noisily against her commanding officer's tongue. Rainbow could only moan uncontrollably in bliss she felt that lovely tongue explore the territory past her rump hole.

Spitfire groaned as she felt the warm noxious fumes being forced out of Rainbow Dash's extremely tight anus. It made her mind flutter as she felt the cyan pegasus' fart expelling into her open muzzle. She could taste it! It was horrendous, it made her absolutely wet. She plugged Rainbow's tongue with the tip of her tongue, then force it inside where it swirled about in frantic passion! It sounded sickeningly wet as air continued to be squeeze out and around her tongue.

Rainbow Dash felt as though butterflies were in her belly. Why wasn't she disgusted by this? Even a better question, why was she finding it so hot? Perhaps it was the fact that Spitfire was in such a humiliating position that aroused her. Her commanding officer was behind her, tongue buried deep into her musky hole and no doubt forced to smell and inhale her fart. That certainly didn't happen every day!

"Mhmm, well done, Rainbow Dash," Spitfire congratulated Rainbow Dash as she finally pulled away with a satisfied beam, "I believe we'll have to do this again sometime, if you're up for it," she added as she licked her lips, still able to taste and smell the foul aroma still fresh on her taste buds and now permeating the air of the office.

"Oh yeah, definitely," Rainbow Dash said without thinking twice, but then seemed lost in thought for a moment.

"Ma'am... this, this isn't going to get to any other pony, and... it won't change our relationship beyond closed doors... will it," Rainbow asked.

"No Rainbow, it won't, it's our dirty little secret," Spitfire assured her, then briefly presses her lips against Rainbow's in a kiss, "I'm still your commanding officer, but outside of that... consider me a friend with very special benefits."

"Thank you, ma'am," Rainbow sighed in relief, though the kiss left her quite flustered.

"All right, lets get to those showers," Spitfire declared with a sudden pep in her tone. Both of them nodded in agreement and briskly made their way back to the showers to wash off the sweat and stress of today's events!