The Colours In My Eyes Died
.....The pink sister before her held her hooves against her chest with desperation, dragging her blue cloak. The older gray sister just stared at her with her neutral facial expression. While the pony before her was showing hers very clearly.
"But please, please, please, pleaseeeeeeee.."
She begged, holding her and pulling her towards her further. Their eyes met close.
"Give Ponyville another chance, but more importantly, give ME another chance..to leave you alone.."
Maud stared at her sister, and then threw her head to the side, Pinkie quickly noticed she was throwing a gaze to Boulder.
Just what was she thinking about? Pinkie wondered as her eyes attempted to analyze her sister's thought process.
"Sister, I..it's not Ponyville, and not you, I didn't leave because of of..you"
She says, looking to the ground, Pinkie was confused, she was left dumbfounded. Maud took few steps away, showing her sister the back, staring at all the rocky walls surrounding her. Her hoof slightly poking it, keeping her head down as she did so.
"W-what do you mean Maud? C'mon! It must have been me! I was like, annoying you and your friend all day!.I put belts on you and stuff! "
Maud just stared on at the wall and then looked back at her sister.
"She is a wonderful friend, Pinkie, I would not leave a friend just for little bit of Pie antics"
Pinkie shook her head "So, what's the deal, Maud?"
.....
"I just can't do this"
At this point, Pinkie was getting irritated slightly, she could sense the self-doubt in her sister, which she fully knew lacked any justification.
"W-what do you mean?"
Maud paused until she slowly looked back.
"I just really belong here, Pinkie Pie. I-..graduated from this..I..could not really, put that to use in Ponyville. It would be a waste of it. Of my only talent."
Pinkie looked at her, shaking her head, closing her eyes, letting out a disappointed sigh.
"So...rock decision, huh? Really?"
Maud kept staring the wall blindly, her body was close, she put herself on her hind hooves and put her front hooves on it. Slowly hiding away her head
"I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I belong here"
Maud said, turning back to her sister, she could tell Pinkie was not pleased.
"I, I dunno, I thought that we'd be together, you know? I was just, really excited!"
Pinkie said, raising her hooves to the sky, her voice getting slightly happier, only for it to die down as her hooves came down.
"I was just hoping that you'd stop leaving."
She says, looking at Maud.
This caught the attention of her older sister, she shot her a very quick gaze which stayed.
"What do you mean?"
Maud asked with her monotone voice.
"What do I mean?"
Pinkie said, a hint of more frustration in her voice.
"You always pick me over rocks!"
Pinkie said, pointing at the place all around her. A place which was indeed, mostly rocks.
"That is not true,"
Maud said slowly stepping closer to her.
Was her voice shaking?...
"How can you even say that? Maud! Where were you when I got my cutie mark? In your room, inspecting rocks!.Which I have no problems with! You like rocks, a lot. I get that! But you let rocks get on top of anything! Even us!"
Maud rubbed her mane, staring at the ground.
"I had no idea you got your cutie mark I was just too bus-"
"Busy?! Didn't notice? The loud anti-parasprite music was BLASTIN' ALL OVER THE ROCK FARM!"
"I'm sorry" Maud just said to her, slowly taking a step back.
"I..I would really like to believe that, you know! But..youu areee..kinda, staying with your rocks again."
Pinkie forced a fake giggle to try and make the sentence seem less hostile.
"I studied years for it."
"Iiii get it!.Really I do!" Pinkie says with a sigh, defeated. "But that doesn't mean that.I dunno! I dunno! That you just throw away the chance of us being, like, together again, like a family!"
Pinkie said, struggling through her words, as if she was trying her best not to say something she may regret. Pinkie looked at her sister, waiting.
There was no response.
"Maud..you just can't be, passive like this, c'mon.,"
She said, begging. Until more silence welcomed them both, it was clear, Maud was not going to say what Pinkie wanted to hear. Only thing that had a voice in here was the strong wind which made a strong contant with both of their manes.
"All right, well..will you at least like, write to me this time? Or will you disappear again and return to me years later, only then to run away, again..?"
Maud was left with her mouth left opened for a moment, almost resembling shock, as if all of this was just suddenly getting into her head.
"Right..look!.."
Pinkie said, leaving her frustration away, not wanting to storm out at her sister.
"I love you, Maud! I really do! I don't mean any of this in a bad way..just like, uh..look around, look at the ponies more, you know?.Whaat's the awful word that's like..ne-..ne"
"..Neglect.."? Maud said, her monotone tone slightly giving away to a slightly melancholic tone"
"Yep!..Neglect, it can, you know, lead to..unhappy thoughts!.Even if you don't do it intentionally!.It has just been kinda, getting worse and worse over the years!"
Pinkie said, offering a light chuckle, as after that, for a solid minute, no pony made a sound.
"Maud, you okay?"
Pinkie asked finally.
"Yeah, are you?"
"I will be!"
Pinkie replied happily.
"That is good,"
Maud said, pulling Pinkie into a hug.
This surprised Pinkie, as Maud is almost never to put her to embrace as first, it is usually Pinkie who is the first to hug.
"I don't want to waste more of your time, Pinkie Pie"
The gray pony said, slowly ending the hug.
"I don't think you can say anything to, make me change my mind."
Pinkie sighed, looking at her sister, shaking her head.
"All right, well, I'll see you again Maud!"
Pinkie Pie said as the hug ended. Starting to slowly walk away, waving.
"Goodbye, Pinkie Pie"
Maud said, waving back.
As Pinkie was leaving, almost on time the train arrived to take her back to Ponyville, as the train was leaving, she looked out of the window, shaking her head. Still not wanting to believe that her sister picked rocks, over Starlight and her.
No matter how much she tried to view this situation in her head, she could never make it any less hurt. She still loved Maud more than anything in the world, which was why she felt herself wanting to cry in front of all the ponies right there, at the moment she felt like she gave all the love yet she received none in return.
The ride seemed to last for hours to her, as she could not help but keep replaying Maud's words in her head.
She started to think how much more things she could have pointed out to Maud, which she doesn't seem to realize.
Like how many parts of her life she has missed, due to how little communication happens between them, does
Maud even read her letters she sends out?
Will things always be like this? Maybe she is over-acting?
Pinkie couldn't tell, yet soon her thought process was kicked off, the train came to a sudden stop. She walked out of the train and entered Ponyville, the sun was still sitting comfortably on the skies, everypony kept trotting around, Pinkie was forced to wave and put on a smile for these ponies, even if she didn't feel like smiling.
Throughout her walk, she kept thinking about Maud. Maud always loved her rocks, but her seeming attachment only grew, come to think of it, it was doing her harm too at this point. It was as if it was disconnecting her from ponies around her, was it the rocks though, was it something else? Maybe something bothering her?
Pinkie thought back to how Maud always let herself become lunch to the Quarrey eels.
She didn't even seem to care, did she really not notice? Was that rock that special? The more Pinkie thought about it, the more she regretted leaving so early, wait! Maud encouraged her to leave early, but why? It's like Maud didn't want to reveal something, was she hiding something? Or maybe-BAM!
Suddenly, her mind was shut off as her head suddenly felt an object hitting her fore head, making her fall to the ground.
"Ouch..c'mon" she muttered, looking back up to see what hit her, it was the door, Sugarcube Corner door, she must have lost herself in her thoughts.
Pinkie got home to Sugarcube Corner, it wasn't a long time since he has woken up, but she felt like she just needed a nap, she entered her dream world of cupcakes quite quickly.
"Sweets, here I comeeee-------" she said before entering her sleep, her voice slowly dying out as snores replace it.
Pinkie's sleep came to a halt as he woke up, the vision before her was a blur before it properly adjusted, sun rays were hitting her eyes. It was morning, so, did she sleep for a really short time or a really long time?
"Jeez," she says, getting out of the bed slowly. Until the process of getting out of the bed turned to be a fast one, as she looked at the clock. And the answer was soon revealed
6am? That must mean that she slept to the next day.
"OH MY GOSH, I TOTALLY MISSED OUT ON LIKE THIRTY PARTIES AND WHO WAS EVEN AT THE COUNTER"
She says, suddenly screaming out, as she tackled after a pink paper she left near her bed on a table, her dramatic tackle left her on the floor. The paper was titled "The Pink Schedule! :D" with a happy smiling face on the end.
Soon, the stress left her. The cold anxiety instantly leaving her, warmth coming by instead.
"Oooh..it was my day off!.I forgot what day it was.." She says, tossing the paper aside with a slight little chuckle
"Pinkie, don't you turn into a pink Rarity!"
She told herself, chuckling more as she got back on her hooves, maybe she could meet with some of the girls. Perhaps, it is what she needed, she closed her eyes, her sister was still on her mind. The joys of ponies around her would surely make the ghosties go away.
She ran downstairs and jumped out of the Sugarcube Corner, bouncing and trotting seemingly care-free to every pony around her, greeting every pony on the way.
Soon, her eyes spotted a blue pegasus, chillaxing on her clouds, Pinkie smiled.
"Daashieeee"
Small groan could be heard from the distance as Dash rolled on her front on her cloud
"Rainbow Dash's sleeepiing"
She said, yawning, getting very comfortable on her cloud.
"Noooo, youu are juust beeing a lazy butt!"
This shook the blue pegasus.
"Who you calling a butt, butt?!"
She said, looking down at Pinkie from her cloud.
"There is only one butt in the sky!"
Pinkie replied, in a singing tone.
"Oh, really?! WELL! At least it isn't a big pink butt!"
Dash replied back jokingly now.
Pinkie narrowed her eyebrows.
Oh, it is on.
"Oh, there is only ONE way to decide who's the big pink butt here!"
Just as Rainbow Dash heard this, she started dashing towards the sky towards the pink pony. Giggling.
"Well,..you're the one who's pink!"
.....
"FORGET THE PINK PART"
Pinkie screamed out, shaking her hooves.
"All right! You got my attention! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin?"
Rainbow Dash said, landing next to the pink pony, leaning towards her.
"PRANK CHALLENGE!.The loser's a butt!"
Pinkie said, giggling
"Ooh, I'm game!"
Blue pegasus smirked at her friend, extending her wings.
"You're gonna lose so hard, you're gonna be a butt for centuries!"
"Jokes on you! Ponies don't live THAT long!...I'M GAME TOO!"
Pinkie screamed out as the two ponies smiling rushed into the Ponyville
"..Just nooo rainbow cookies this time, oki doki?" Pinkie teased.
"Shush you"
"Well, well!.I dunno..how do you rate this?"
Pinkie said as the two friends were sitting next to each other, both exhausted from their pranking adventures.
"Iiii thiink my glue one kinda won the deal!" She said pointing at her pink friend
"Like, I dunno!..I thought the fake muffin was JUST as good...! Hey!...I CALL IT A TIE!"
Pinkie screamed out jumping on her two hind hooves.
"Aaa--what a cop out," Dash said, shrugging.
"So, you going back to your sister now?"
Dash said, waving her wings, floating just lightly above the ground now as she spoke to Pinkie.
Pinkie didn't like to be reminded, but there was no point in lying, besides, she would have to share sooner or later, she came to learn that hiding troubles only leads to fewer smiles the more time passes.
"Oh..umh..not really."
Pinkie said, with a sigh.
"Hey, what the hell? I thought she was like staying over for a while..and then maybe forever."
Dash said raising her eye-brow curiously.
"Yeah, she kinda, well, ran away over the night."
Pinkie said, sitting in the grass, the blue pegasus sitting next to her.
"I just, don't really know why she ran away, I know that I kinda..got too in the way with her friend making with Starlight..I managed to get to her..theen she tells me that she is staying in that no-fun place for the rocks!"
She says, throwing one of the rocks she found on the ground around.
"Damn..she picked the rocks?..."
Dash asked concernedly.
"That doesn't...I dunno, I don't know your sister all that well. But I don't think that's why she decided to just run away."
This made Pinkie ponder
"You know, yeah, it doesn't...I feel like I should have asked her more stuff, I must have missed something!..."
Suddenly she sighed
"I..will need to apologize to her.."
She says, getting off the grass.
"Hey, what for?"
Dash leaned in curiously.
"I said some...I dunno, pretty needy stuff?...I really missed and wanted her to be with me and I just-...We will have another talk! A better talk!"
Pinkie said, happily turning around to Dash, she then looked at the skies again.
"Oh my gosh..wheere did the time ago..did we really prank for so long?"
Pinkie said, looking at the descending sun.
"You bet." The pegasus giggled. "Hey, look Pinks, you know how it goes! Siblings! It'll be okay, all right? You really need
some more talking to do, I bet she'll open up to you more! "
She said as the two ponies started leaving the area, both slowly returning to their homes.
"Yeah, you are totally rights!.Siblings fight from time to time! Me and Maud never fought much, but I guess it just happens!"
Pinkie said, trotting towards her home as Dash decided to follow her.
"That's my Pinkie!"
Dash giggled as they were both in-front of the Sugarcube Corner.
"Good luck, Pinks! Well! I have some intense but totally awesome Wonderbolt stuff tomorrow, so I need all the pegasi strength!"
Dash said, flexing her two front hooves as she was floating in the sky, slowly going to the skies, reaching to her home.
"I'll be seeing ya! Good luck"
"Hey! Dashie! Good luck to you too! I hope I'll be able to catch the awesome-duper Wonderbolt stuff!"
Pinkie said, slightly yelling into the skies as Dash flew higher.
"If ya catch me! You got sister stuff to do! See ya!"
Dash said, as she finally dashed off quickly.
"SEE YA!"
Now Pinkie screamed even louder, turning around, looking into her mailbox, opening it up curiously, putting her hoof in.
"What'ya hiding?"
Pinkie asked until suddenly her hoof felt something. "Ooh" she exclaimed, pulling out the content from the mailbox, an envelope with a letter hidden inside of it, she couldn't read from it whom it was from due to the light going out. She opened the doors to the Sugarcube Corner and walked up to the stairs to her room.
She lights up her room and put the envelope on the table, slowly pulled herself a chair, now looking at the envelope, she could clearly read whom it was from, wait a seco-
"From Maud?"
Pinkie noticed right away, yes, the letter was from Maud herself as the envelope told her.
When did this arrive anyway?
Pinkie slowly opened up the envelope, what she got was a letter.
A long letter.
"Hello sister, was not really honest with you, at all actually. You deserve everything explained.
I thought I could just walk away without notice, I thought I could be forgotten.
But you would eventually find out. You are smart, and well.
I left Ponyville, because, well. I really don't belong there, not anywhere.
When I slept next to you, I had my eyes opened, all night.
I thought of all the friends whom I lost, I had so many attempts, to try and connect with anyone, but, they all ended.
You yourself said how neglectful I can be, this destroyed many of friendships I had throughout my life. I do not
want to be this way.
But something's eating my brain from inside.
Something's just not right, you know?
I'm not right.
I wasn't born right,
I was born fucked up.
I realized, that well.
I will never be normal.
I'll always be a freak and I'll break every heart that there is.
I was never, happy. Ever since I was a filly, something just felt severely off.
I felt so alone, like a failure, at a young age.
It just grew the more I did.
Ponies walked away more, I was left in the dark more.
I thought it would leave eventually.
I thought I could be like you, maybe. I respect you, so much. You have no idea, I just.
I thought, that if I were to reach my dreams, to graduate, I would be happy with myself
It didn't happen. This feeling in my gut, the pain has changed to...nothing, I started to feel nothing as if I was not really "there".
I was not able to do anything anymore, it felt as if I was not able to live, just exist.
No one really noticed, ever. I don't want to blame anyone with this, I really don't.
No one can tell what is going in my head when they look at me.
Well, when I graduated. I had a plan.
Live with you in Ponyville.
Or go to Ghastly Gorge and end it.
No one would notice.
I could just, say I was busy. Everyone would forget eventually, I was hoping. Just disappear.
I can't lie to you though, I lied far too many times.
I think by this point, you know what is about to happen, what already happened, once I've sent this letter.
I'm really sorry. I should have been a better pony, better daughter, better sister, better friend. I'm a waste to you all, I pissed all my life away. I will never be happy here.
Deep inside, I was angry for so long, that I couldn't fit in, that I had such a hard time being happy here. Part of me was angry at you, that with all this hurt in your heart, you smiled, you moved on. I never did.
I realize now, this world is beautiful.
You're the most beautiful ponies of them all.
The world is not wrong, I am. I am a mistake.
I'm sorry sister, I know this will hurt you, but I believe that my presence hurts you more, this is better for everyone.
You have amazing friends, stick with them, forget about me, please, I beg of you.
Goodbye, my dearest sister. I love you.
- Maud Pie.
As Pinkie finished reading the letter, she felt her entire body shaking, sweat coming to her instantly, the letter in front of was shaking as she held it, she could barely breathe.
She looked around the room in a panic, she got off from her chair and ran, her mind was demanding and screaming at her for one thing ,one thing, to help her sister. She believed, there still must be time, she quickly entered the streets of Ponyville.
The entire world was a blur, in her head, nothing mattered, she needed Twilight, she could help, she must have.
Pinkie's run was so fast it got her to castle very quickly, she slammed the door open.
"TWILIGHT!"
Pinkie screamed throughout the entire castle as she ran towards Twilight's room, Twilight was awoken by the Castle's door opening alone.
At first, Twilight found herself cautious, feeling like some pony was breaking into the castle, yet she could easily recognize the scream. She slowly exited out of the room with her messy mane, looking at the shaking pink pony.
She looked like she was lost, like a little filly, lost in a mall, Twilight noticed she looked almost, confused, as to whatever was happening.
"Pinkie, what's going on?"
Before she knew it, Pinkie's hooves were on her shoulders, grabbing them tightly, Pinkie was in her face.
"Twilight! Please! It's Maud!.She's about to..do something..to herself! SOMETHING TERRIBLE!"
Pinkie said, her voice cracking, her voice was giving off as if she was about to break down in front of her right there.
Twilight looked at her with wide eyes, Twilight realized instantly what Pinkie meant right at that exact moment, she had to act, now.
"Oh, my gosh..Pinkie..where is she?!"
Twilight said, wasting no time,
"Ghastly George!"
Pinkie answered right away, her voice still shaking.
Twilight nodded, she put Pinkie's hooves away from her shoulders and before Pinkie knew it, Twilight was on the run.
"I'll get help Pinkie! stay here!"
The alicorn said, Pinkie saw her running off, she has never seen her run this fast.
Pinkie retreated herself into Twilight's room, slowly sitting on her bed,
"Pi-Pinkie?"
Young voice came from the back to one which Pinkie didn't respond to, it was the one of Spike who overheard the entire
conversation.
He stared at Pinkie for a moment, she was sitting there, without a flinch. Spike left the room quickly, he could tell something wasn't right.
"No no no no no no no no"
Pinkie whispered to her hooves with deep breaths, the world was crumbling.
"This is not happening,"
She said as she pulled roughly on her pink mane, letting few small parts of her pink mane fall weakly onto the Twilight's
covers.
"This is just a dream, yes. I'm gonna wake up soon, it will be all okay.."
Pinkie said, the whispers turning into cries, her vision started being blurred by her tears.
She started hitting her head, all was peeling, she felt like she was being held down and her skin was being slowly torn off,
the entire fucking world's lights slowly were fading, loud droning sound in both of her ears, not wanting to leave, like two voices, right in her ears, just screaming, the screams slowly getting into her brain, filling it with nothing but static.
She screamed and wailed. She felt like her body was drowning in an ocean of crumble which used to be all together, the
very thing she used to walk on was smashing her head.
Suddenly, the noises suddenly started speaking, forming into one voice, the decay had its voice, sounding little like her,
but not, it was distorted, and it was in her, in her head, she couldn't shut it off. Oh no, not gonna shut it off
"No, this IS happening"
The voice spoke as the loud damaged shrieks behind were clearly heard.
Pinkie slowly got on her hooves.
"No, NO, NO IT'S NOT"
"Yes, it is, you dumb little bitch"
The voice aggressively replied back, it sounded like it put all the rage towards her.
Pinkie slowly put her hooves away, towards her eyes, trying to stop herself from tearing up, it was to no avail, her hooves soon were covered in her own tears.
Pinkie slowly put her head forwards, looking straight into the mirror, the reflection, wasn't reflecting what she presumed it would, oh no, it was reflecting a lie..no-what-just what was it? The mirror showed an image of a mare with a straight mane, which lookeed very much like her, but, she wasn't crying at all, the reflection stared into her, with so much contempt, burning, there were flames in her eyes, those flames were directed to her, she wanted to burn her, turn her into to dust and.---
"Pinkie!"
Pinkie suddenly screamed out a little, she looked at Twilight, she looked very concerned.
Pinkie was brought to reality before she knew, she was being deeply hugged.
"Pinkie.." the alicorn said, holding her as tightly as he could.
Twilight has never seen Pinkie like this, she didn't just look "sad" her mane was lightly torn, her eyes were all red, as were her cheeks.
"We've found Maud..she-she's in the hospital right now."
Pinkie slowly looked up at her, she instantly stood up from the bed.
"I. Need. To. See. Her"
When pinkie came in into the room, the five girls have intensely stared through the window into the room in which Maud was kept in, lying in bed.
Just as soon Pinkie came in, all the attention was cast upon her. Yet, Pinkie didn't even take a notice of it, she didn't respond to ~~Fluttershy's and Rarity's worries, Dash's belief in a happy ending or Applejack's sympathies.~~
All of it blended together, becoming a blur of a sound, she put it all into the back of her head, there was just one thing she properly heard and seen.
The machine that was right next to Maud, letting out loud beeps. Showing the small signs of life.
They were rare.
Maud just lied there on the bed, unaware of anything around here, she was not conscious. Eyes deeply closed.
Pinkie was told what exactly Maud did before she came into the room, Maud was said to deliver a self-inflicted cut to
herself, horizontal one, with the, intends to lose as much blood as possible. And indeed, the amount of blood loss was
extreme.
Pinkie just kept staring at the heart monitor desperately.The beeping kept taking longer and longer to come by, Maud's heart was slowly giving away, the long high pitched noises were replacing the short beeps more and more, Pinkie got closer to the window, the doctors were putting all of their efforts, nothing seemed to be working.
As Pinkie stared at the heart beat, it turned into a slideshow for her for that very moment. Life flashed before her. The past echoing on to her.
So, what was it that you wanted to show me, sis?"
The young pink pony asked, excited.
"This,"
The gray mare said as she slowly put a necklace on her neck..with rocks on it? Yet, the rocks each had its own unique color.
"Huh..thiis iis..rock necklace! But it's like..fancy, oh! This is awesome!"
"Not just any necklace, it is a rock candy necklace."
Maud said, gently petting her young sister.
"Candy? So it's a necklace, I can nom!"
Pinkie said, giggling, Maud! This is the best necklace eever!"
"Totally, but that's not the only reason why I'm giving this to you, my little sister,"
Maud said
"Oh..?"
"It means that the pony you made and gave the necklace too, is very close to you, and will never move away from your heart, you see, rocks cannot move. Rocks do not have any hooves to do so, they just stay where they are, just like my heart will always stay with you"
Pinkie looked at Maud.
"Oh..you made this?...I want to make one too! For you"
"Oh really? Let me show you, you just need to be careful, okay?"
The gray mare said, gently smiling, the pink pony returned the smile.
Until that smile died away.
And Pinkie was right back behind the window, staring now at her sister, connected to various of tools she didn't understand and never wanted to understand.
The doctors got around the gray mare, doing their best to bring her back, Pinkie slowly put her two hooves on the window with widened eyes.
Everyone became quiet, the doctors suddenly stopped, the girls behind Pinkie, just stopped talking. Everything stopped, the world stopped.
The heart beat monitor was showing her one straight line and the loud high pitched noise covered the room.
She was gone.
to be continued
Author's Note
I will still be checking for some errors regarding grammar I have dyslexia and other stuff that makes you suck much more at grammar, forgot how they were called. It is one of the reasons why I didn't write or share anything publically. But I just really wanted to make this story.
I hope you enjoyed it so far, if not that is totally okay! More chapters will come around.
