Chapter 1: The rolling rock gathers no caps.
That ungrateful bastard will need it. I had been planning this for months. That old vice he uses isn't going to help us for much longer. I'm going to walk in near closing like I have for the past month. Every action I take will be the same. I have made sure to leave without anyone seeing my departure. Every day for a month.
Today is different.
Today I will sneak into the back of the store, into the workshop. Carefully dismount the vice and sneak out through the balcony, hop the gap and land on the balcony of the neighboring room, clockwise. It's vacant. I'll stash it there and recover it later.
That's the plan anyways.
Dead of night, Wait for the two patrolling ponies to walk past, they stopped a few yards past. I waited another thirty for them to look back. It felt like forever before they started moving again. I took a bobby pin from my tail, shuffled over to the lock of the drop gate, and put the bobby pin into the key hole annnd that was enough to unlock it. what a shitty lock, for a ground floor shop.
I gently lifted the gate, scooched under it and dragged the sponge I stashed next to it to stop the gate from touching the floor. I sneaked my way to the counter, stood up and shook the cash register. It popped open softly. I dropped a few caps into it, before closing it.
I slipped through, past the hall to the bedroom and into the back of the shop.
"The MasterStal thirty two hundred. The best vice ever made before the world ended. This will do nicely. The old fart will beg for my forgiveness, ha." I whispered to myself. Threw it into my saddlebags, and carefully let myself out. No witnesses, no drama. in and out. five minutes, tops!
Wait... I was supposed to escape through the balcony!
Quickly turning, a bit less gently lifting the drop gate, I rushed back to the workstation, carefully opening the loud, creaky, door and threw the bags to the other side. I jumped for it, and landed cleanly on the other side. I stashed the vice in the corner, out of sight, picked up a used Dash inhaler. The patrol of guards was coming back around. When I ran into them, I dropped the inhaler. The closest guard, a mare, shined a flashlight spell right into my eyes. I fell on my rear as I shielded my eyes with both front legs.
"Andesite. That's the fifth time this week, the twelfth this month! You're going to kill yourself with this stuff." She said.
"Yeah, I'm trying to quit, jeez. Get off my case! Blame Fixer, he sells the stuff."
The guard shook her head and sighed. She bought it! I watched as she kicked it to the side.
And now, I make my way back home. up... four flights of stairs, great...
Well, that worked out very well.
A vase flew past me, smashing against the cobbled together wooden wall separating our room from the outside.
“You stole something! Again!” my quote unquote loving father shouted at me.
“I wouldn't do it if I didn't need to!”
“You stole a goddesses damned vice! What the fuck are you doing?!” he spat, throwing a box of screws at me with his unicunt magic.
“But dad! We are! Fucking drained! Of caps! This vice is bigger and stronger than the shitty one you insist on fucking with!”
“Don't you ‘But daaad’ me! You know well and good its the fucking tax raise the NCR threw at the whole region!”
“There is no tax raise, you moron! You just refuse to service armour if its not made of leather or fucking combat armour! Nopony fucking uses either of those!”
“
He then threw the hat hanger and sent me reeling into the balcony door. And through it.
The balcony had a small table and two dirty chairs. It's the best we could afford. Not even a good view, just a brick wall of the building across the street, because it's only the fifth floor. I of course got on top of the table and leaped to the next door balcony, to Fresh Bakes apartment. Fresh Bake always helps me get away from my mothers husband, and is the closest thing to a friend that I could ask for.
I barely managed to get over the edge of the far balcony. I stumbled up and looked back at the old man with a taunting grin.
The husband threw an empty sparkle cola bottle after me, and managed to hit me in the jaw. Fresh Bake already had the door open and I practically flew inside. He shut it immediately and shoved a sturdy looking… whatever the thing that goes in front of a couch in an inconvenient spot is called.
Fresh Bake.
The one eyed ‘Sunshine’ Yellow coat, lavender mane that he prided in keeping buzzed. His tail was cut to his hocks. Just long enough to cover his parts but still leave a view from an angle or two.
He knelt down, giving my fetally crouched lump of mud colours a hug. If hugs healed… he'd be a fucking brain surgeon.
“let's gechya off the filthy floor, aye? I was just about to clean the darned thing.” he said in a soothing almost motherly tone. He talks way older than he really is. “Maaa! Get some soup for Disease!”
“It's already cookin, bun” Angel Food called out back. Good cook. Tan coat, pearl white mane. Total stereotype.
When I got on the couch, Fresh started looking at what the deadbeat did this time.
“ouu, looks like a split lip…” he pressed onto my ribs, though i'm not sure why he thought that was a good idea. He’s not a good doctor.
“YEEOOUCH!” I yelped. “ow ow ow!”
“Ooh, you're going to the doc for that one, Disease.” he said, in a very concerned tone.
“Oh ya sure? Ribs grow back!” I don't need pity.
“Hm. Even you know that's a lie, Dizzy.”
I didn't have much to say to that, honestly. Bake wasn't too easy. Except on the eyes. So chiseled…
“ya want me to give the radio a tune, Diz?” Fresh Bake asked as he let me lie on the sofa. The one his dad made. Not many places can say they have a carpenter, eh?
I nodded. I'm pretty sure Freshs old man only made this sofa for me to crash on. These folks are more family than my legal guardians. At least my mom keeps her hatred of me private, but I just, i just know that- She hates me.
Click went the radio and Fresh Bake flopped onto the recliner next to my sofa. I tried my best to not cry in front of the hot guy.
Tried.
A tear or two silently sneaked out though.
“...and as we head to the north west corner we are seeing rain, rain and snow for you folks in Vanhoover in the coming days. Make sure you bundle up, my sources say the snow won't melt away anytime soon.” Jelly. Why is the radio host of Pop-peri AM named Jelly?
"alright, it is the text confessional, where you write in, either by mail or T-Mail, something you need to get off your chest, because it feels so much better when someone else knows what you are going through. This mornings confession reads,"
"Jelly. I've been hallucinating." Jelly read aloud for the radio. "Hallucinating? Interesting. lets read on!" he paused to clear his throat. his voice took on the kind of tone a teenager uses thinking he's the hotshot of the drama club, way too dramatic and climactic. "I've been seeing foals in gas masks. Whenever I try to get a better look, they vanish, or hide behind something and than vanish." Jelly paused for a moment.
"Hallucinations..." Fresh Bake said out loud. I almost didn't notice it.
"Well uh," Jelly was hesitant. There are some sensitive issues that get brought up, he's used to all this crap right? whats another crazy. It is Vanhoover, after all. "I would definitely, go and see a doctor about that if you have the caps. It doesn't sound, too bad. our mailer didn't give us any other details, so there isn't much to go off of, um, folks do write in if you also see any of these masked younglings, maybe our friend lives somewhere that's haunted!" Jelly finished. Nice save, man.
I personally preferred the Jelly. And oh boy does their station got better tunes than GULLY AM. Nopony likes that station. Except the two dingle berries in my life. Ugh. Fucking country music! Who even listens to that?
“Can I just live here already? Ugh! I'm so sick of their shit! I dont wanna stay cooped up! I wanna go places! I wanna meet unique people! Not stay in some trashy shop with a bad reputation that can hardly stay in business!” I groaned to nopony in particular.
Huh, ain't that kinda odd since there are like… three ponies here and even that's counting the useless turd on the sofa?
Shouts came from outside... which is, the inside of the tower, but outside the apartment. circular buildings are so confusing! Fresh Bake let out a worried hum. Security is fast today. Figures.
"Aaaaanywhooooo, It's time for fourty minutes of the best music. Heres a track from Songbird Serenade. Her hair was always on point, but that doesn't come through the radio. If your radio ever starts shooting hair out of it, I recommend burning down the house." ....Dude. Gross.
“Cake, ya sure it's ready? That was a little quick.” I asked Angel Cake as I rolled my ass off the sofa, mostly like… as an attempt at humor. Too bad I'm as good a comedian as a feral mauling a foal face for dessert. Aoif
“I got it going as soon as I heard ya trying to beat the man home, hun.” She set the large mug of soup down on the table in front of me.
“oh. I'm predictable. And boring.”
“yaint boring, hun! you're the most exciting thing in this friggin town”
“For the wrong reasons I'm sure. You folk are better off without me." I whimpered, like some angsty bitch.
“Like hell we are!” Fresh piped, because lying to yourself and me helps. “Who was the one that managed to get lil Gyro out from the tangle his flying doohickey got him in?”
Just stop.
“When the bridge between the two sides of the fifth floor collapsed, who was it that hauled wood up the stairs day in and day out?”
Please just…
I can't take thiiiis just stop!
“And who rushed into a caravan that had just exploded and hauled out the mayor's nephew?”
“ I get the picture!” I yowled. Oh Joy, here I go hurting everyone good to me again. “...Sorry” was the most I could muster to mutter. Why am I such a fucking moron? Am I fucking cursed?
Probably.
I decided to just consume the soup before it got cold.
Huh. For a place as decrepit as Vanhoover, it's nice that we have running water and plumbing to take for granted. Barrel City is probably the most populated place in the whole region, all densely packed into what used to be a… what was it called?
Damnit what was it…. Starts with a c… c… con… condom… condominium! That's the word!
Yeah. Took you long enough, retard.
Eugh. Self loathing. I don't want it anymore.
I could still hear the old man in his rage.
“Can you turn the radio up?” I asked.
Fresh smiled and nodded,turning the dial with his hoof. That is so weird. Unicorns using their hooves to turn dials. Gosh! That's so weird!
Why the fuck arent I turning the radio up myself if he's making a point to take so much effort to do it?
Uh maybe because its not my fucking radio? Ugh, dumb thoughts.
“Have you heard the news, folks?" Jelly on the radio said. No, you are the one source of news in the area we can rely on!
I can probably do better than him though.
“I heard from a little birdie that the Steel Rangers in that area have been… more active recently. Keep anything considerably shiny tucked away. And don't fight them. You won't win. Aaaaaanywho, more on that later as we...” As I lost myself in thought, the radio became distant. That tends to happen when I don't pay attention.
Wait. The deejay is saying to not fight? That's not normal.
“Hey Fresh… what are the Steel Rangers?” I asked Fresh Bake, because I needed to know.
He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. Okay yeah, make me feel more retarded! Fuck!
“They… They're like raiders but with… extra steps. And serious firepower. Like, war time military stuff. A real pain in the ass.”
“What would they do if they came here? We aren't exactly banging rocks together!”
“My guess? Slaughter anypony who gets in their way. They might be willing to negotiate, I've heard. And by negociate I mean they rob you instead of killing you.”
Pleasant.
It was as soon as he said ‘rob’ that I remembered I was a felon now.
“I have to leave.” I said, putting down the empty soup bowl. “I don't wanna get you all caught up in harbouring a thief.”
A stern look swept across Fresh Bakes face.
“I know, Dizzy. I know. There's some things at the door. We're always prepared. My father might not be able to help you, so… just don't get caught.” I stood up as he finished.
Angel calmly trotted to us carrying saddlebags that looked completely crammed with stuff. She floated them onto me and strapped them tight. Really really tight! She looked almost… she looked like she had seen a ghost!
“Mom, what's … what's going on?” Fresh Bake was worrying. What was happening?
“Dizzy has to find another way out. They coming to the door now.”
Oh shit! Why can't anything go right? I wasn't even told what the plan was!
“There's only the door! She ain't a Pegasus, she can't fly out the back! Oh dammit dammit!”
Oh? The back? I began making my way to the balcony.
“Disease… what are you doing?” Fresh, have some faith. I got this.
I looked back at the two best ponies in my life. “I don't think I'll get to see you folks again. But if I do, I owe you. Take care Fresh Bake, Angel Food.” I pushed open the door, and looked down. Five stories high, not high enough to get a good view. I'm not going to be followed very far. Too high to jump straight down… ugh, how anticlimactic.
“Disease! Don't jump! We can figure this out!”
“I wouldn't take all this stuff to the afterlife, would I?”
“No! You won't take anything with you!”
“I think I will.” I turned and climbed over the side of the balcony and dropped down.
Fresh Bake and Angel Food both rushed to the balcony, and Angel looked down. They immediately made their thoughts on this betrayal clear.
“Hun you could have told us you were gonna use the balconies as stairs!” she yelled, not happy. First time for everything!
“Saw-ree!” I cried out, waving. I continued to drop down the spangled Balconies of the cylindrical tower. I heard a commotion from the Cake residence, but I couldn't stop. I was on the run. Forever. I couldn't ever go back.
Suck on that one, fate! Everypony wins today! Me, the Cakes! My good for nothing parents! We all win today!
I had merely touched down when three guard ponies were rushing from the main entrance, which was surprisingly close to me! So I ran as well. They didn't shoot at me and they quickly stopped chasing me. I looked back and stuck my tongue out at them.
When I opened my eyes, I saw I had caused quite a stir. Most ponies were on the balconies of their homes, like watching a toilet flush, desperately hoping it doesn't clog.
I saw my shitty parents, and the ponies I actually called my family. I saw Flint the gunsmith. I saw one of the actually competent armorsmiths in town and the blue filly always weaning a pink faced gas mask. She turned around and went back inside. Creepy little shit.
Some of them were alright.
I headed off to find somewhere to cool down. I found a quiet cool alleyway, struggled to unfasten the straps of my saddlebags, sat down and took inventory.
10 cans of various food items, 10 boxes of water, a few small sparkle cells… a laser pistol! That's just the one bag! In the other…
A grenade, a box of screws,a box of nails,a box of nuts… hey this is all construction material! Cmon! Wait there isn't a single bottle cap or medical thingy! What the hell? Damnit Angel!
And what, you think just because my cutie mark is a fucking trowel spade thingy I'm gonna be happy with this shit?
No, no... it was thoughtful of them. This will make it easier to prove myself wherever I end up. Oh. Yeah a hammer would fucking help. Ugh.
I wanna hurt myself. I probably shouldn't but it's tempting. This brick wall could use a dent or two. Give it some character. Knock some sense into me. Fix this stupid accident.
Thump!
I should have ran away with dad.
Thump!
Well! We can't change the past. Hey but we can fuck up the future…
Thump
Yeah.
Thump!
I'm just gonna sit against the wall and just smack it with the back of my skull.
Thump!
I wonder if the pest is trying to get the cakes thrown for housing me.
THUMP!
I shouldn't have tried helping that utter disgrace that fucks my mom.
THUMP!
And now there are brief flashes of them doing it going through mind and I cant fucking stop it!
THUMP THUMP THUMPthumpthumpthump!
THUMP!
If only I was a unicunt I'd just slip one of these nails behind my head and get this over with.
And now I'm just annoyed by how silly that sounds. Wonderful. Oh there's the pain.
Oohhhh fuck that hurrrts! Owwww, Damniiiiit! It feels like a red hot coal is being pushed into my skull! Did I… Did i give myself a fucking concussion?! Am I that fucking stupid?! Agh fuck! Owww the more I think about it the worse it gets!
And as I curled up, clutching my head, the sun began to set into the ocean.
I mean I knew it was from the colour of the sky but like, Barrel City is about 25 city blocks away from the beach. The few times I have seen the beach were when I was working on some renovations for the chief of securities apartment. I'll never forget staring into that endless expanse of water. I've been told that we know more about outer space than we know about the oceans. How many crazy creatures are in there, just waiting to be discovered? What will they teach us?
Why the fuck didn't I keep that job? It was all I was even remotely good at and I just.... quit. I'm such a moron! Just a fucking stupid shithead. Stupid beach. Bitch, I meant bitch. I can't even get my own thoughts right! Hmph. Beach.
Oh I could go there, couldn't I? It's just a straight walk!
I took another look into the bag. Maybe I missed something? Nope. Everything accounted for. Damnit. Not even any candies. I have a hell of a sweet tooth, thats why I even talked to Fresh Bake back in school. cause I figured I could get some candy off him.
Well, not much else to do. Let's get started. To the beach!
Author's Note
Confirm appearance?
[Yes] No
Confirm S.P.E.C.I.A.L values?
Yes [No]
- Strength: 7
- Perception: 3
- Endurance: 2
- Charisma: 3
- Intelligence: 3
- Agility: 6
- Luck: 7
Confirm S.P.E.C.I.A.L values?
[Yes] No
