Luna's Cuddle Dungeon

by CategoricalGrant

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Royal Guard, Other, Random
Length: 11111

Princess Luna has a special floor in the castle where she does unspeakable things to Equestria's most dangerous criminals and unpredictable threats.

The Canterlot Castle's dungeon is renowned for being the highest-security jail in all of Equestria (after Tartarus, of course). Little do ponies know, but the most dangerous, unpredictable, and crafty criminals are held in an entirely different floor, directly under the watchful eye of Princess Luna.

Luna ALWAYS extracts the information she needs from those held in her secret Cuddle Dungeon. And if they refuse to cooperate, well, she'll just suffocate them in her chest floof until they fold like a house of cards.

Inspired by a few brief lines in my story Cuddle Time...Again!

Beautiful cover art by probablydnon on Tumblr (no link; Blog is NSFW).

"deliciously and hilariously silly..." - LightningDashes

EDIT: Featured 8/15/17! Thank you all so much!
EDIT 2: Featured at #1 8/15/17! I am so glad everypony enjoyed!
EDIT 3: Now with an Audio Drama set up by the illustrious TheWingman!

Published 2017-08-15 10:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-03 17:44:34 UTC

Crime: Terrorism

“Hmmm,” Princess Luna hummed as she descended the steps from the main level of Canterlot Castle into the dungeon, chewing on the information just given to her. “Anything else I should know about?”

“He’s a stone cold killer,” her bat pony guard growled with his gravelly, unwavering voice. “Put a lot of ponies in the hospital. It’s a miracle that no one has died...yet.”

Princess Luna continued down the stairwell past the main dungeon level. Two more night guards saluted her, stepping aside on the cold stone to let her past on her journey to the sub-dungeon. “And it’s the same group again?”

“Yes, Your Highness. ‘The Soldiers of the Equestrian Proletariat’, they call themselves. Their end goal seems to be the establishment of a worker’s state, but they’ve settled for trying to overthrow the tetrarchy, for now.”

Princess Luna reached the landing and brushed past yet another pair of guards to continue her descent. Officially, there was no such thing as the sub-sub-dungeon…

...But officially, the Equestrian government didn’t use the interrogation tactics that Princess Luna was about to utilize, either.

The light in the stone stairwell was provided by torches at that depth, and the movement of the two ponies cast flickering shadows darting across the walls of the spiral staircase. “Ah, and so that is why they targeted the bank?”

“Princess Cadence was supposed to be there. I guess they didn’t know she canceled her appearance.” The night guard growled and spat his next words. “Punks like these don’t deserve to keep living. Let me handle him, Princess!”

Princess Luna gently strode onto the landing at the end of the staircase and began waltzing down the hallway with her companion. “Oh, you,” she chuckled, wrapping a wing around him. “Always acting so tough, but such a big softie.”

“Stoooooop,” he whined, beginning to blush.

Princess Luna squeezed the guard tightly to her before releasing him from the side hug. “Only because you’re so cute!” she gushed. Glancing through the barred windows on each thick metal door, she spied plenty of unoccupied, plush tables. Each room was lined with big throw pillows and blankets, and the pleasant coolness of the structure placed those who walked there at ease. “Not many here, it would seem. Quiet several days?”

“Except for him, yes, it has been,” the guard replied, stopping at the door near the end of the hallway on the left side.

“Go and watch from the viewing area,” Princess Luna commanded. “I’m looking forward to dealing with this one.”

The guard nodded, unlocking the door for Princess Luna before she strode inside. A red-coated pony with a brown mane and a yellow star for a cutie mark stared back at her, from his position strapped firmly to a cushy table at a forty-five degree angle. He just scowled at her as she waltzed in and closed the door behind her with her magic.

“I hear somepony has been a very bad stallion~” Princess Luna sing-songed as she slowly approached the side of the table.

The prisoner jerked his hooves up once, jangling the chains. “What is this? Some kind of joke? A room filled with pillows?”

“Oh, I assure you, it’s no joke,” Princess Luna replied, smiling down at him from beside the ‘torture’ table.

The prisoner growled. “Well, I’ll never talk! You can torture me, or kill me, but I’ll never betray the proletariat to some high-class bourgeoisie scum like you! Princess or no!”

“Oh, that’s alright,” Princess Luna hushed, placing a hoof on his lips. “Then don’t. Why don’t you tell me your name, though?”

“...Unyielding Sickle,” he reluctantly spat.

Princess Luna bit her lip and barely suppressed an eye roll. “Not your codename, your real name. Tell your Princess. I care about my subjects.”

He grumbled for a moment. “I recognize no Princess, but...my name is Red Cola.”

“Red Cola is a very nice name,” Princess Luna softly stated, leaning over his body. “Now, Mr. Cola, you are in big, big trouble. You set off a bomb at the First Bank of Canterlot that put almost twenty ponies in the hospital. That is something only very bad ponies do.” She booped him on the tip of his muzzle.

Red Cola gritted his teeth. “You’ll never get me to talk! I see your plan: lull me into a false sense of security and then torture me! All the pillows and blankets in this room are probably only red to hide all the bloodstains!”

Princess Luna looked around curiously for a moment and tapped her muzzle with a hoof. “No, actually, each cell is color-themed differently. I thought it made the place look cute.” Princess Luna propped her front hooves on the soft table and smiled wickedly down at Red Cola. “And there’s no need to be mean and defensive like that, you know. Tell you what, just because I like you, we’ll make a deal.”

Princess Luna moved a back hoof onto a little outcropping at the bottom of the table and pushed herself up onto it. Lying next to Red Cola, she placed a gentle hoof on his chest. “My, my, so warm and soft,” she cooed.

Red Cola’s muzzle scrunched up into a growl and a blush deepened the shade of red already covering his face. “Wh-what are…?”

“I don’t think you have to go to jail for this, Red,” she sighed, placing her face gently on his chest. “I think deep down you’re a good pony. Bad ponies aren’t this...hmmmm…” Princess Luna repositioned herself, lying her head on Red Cola’s barrel near where it met his front leg and rubbing her muzzle against him. “...comfy.”

“What are you doing? Wh-what is this?”

“Papaya Sunrise, Sir, what is Princess Luna doing?” a young stallion fresh out of bootcamp asked his superior.

The guard who had briefed Princess Luna chuckled as he looked through the one-way mirror with a barely suppressed expression of glee. “Her job. And she’s damn good at it!”

“I thought I was placed on interrogation duty? What...what is this? Is this like, a sex thing...or something?”

The older guard groaned. “Just watch, newbie, alright? Princess Luna never fails to make them sing like birds.”

“Shhhh, shhhh, you’re so tense,” Princess Luna whispered in Red Cola’s ear before nuzzling his cheek. “Relax.”

Red Cola seemed to visibly loosen up, although his body remained tense in the expectation of imminent torture.

“Now,” Princess Luna said, playfully tapping up and down his barrel with a hoof, “As I was saying, I don’t think you’re a bad pony at all. You don’t have to go to jail for this, my sweet Red. I can get you house arrest, or maybe even community service. All I need from you is the name and hideout of your organization.”

“Hah! So that’s your endgame!?”

“Maybe,” Princess Luna replied softly, pouting. “Or maybe I’m just a nice pony who does nice things for even naughty ponies like you. Nice things...” She looked up at red with gleaming blue irises. “I do feel nice...don’t I?” To accentuate her point, she rubbed her tummy into his side gently and gave him a tight squeeze.

Red Cola, his hooves still splayed out and tied down to the table, began to become visibly rattled. “Ergh...N...N-no! I will not betray them! E-even if I must die, my name will be etched into the very marble of the future Equestrian Supreme Soviet! The workers will rise to power, even if they must step over my bones!”

“It sounds like I need to sweeten the deal for little Red,” Princess Luna mused, wrapping one of her back hooves over his and rolling on top of him. “What if I throw in a weekly visit...to cuddle? Just you and me? Maybe in the wintertime I’ll bring blankets and you can make us warm tea, hmm? Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Princess Luna could feel Red Cola shiver.

She moved her muzzle up to rest next to his neck and exhaled gently over his coat, causing him to let out a little gasp of pleasure. “Maybe we can even sleep in the same bed? I’d like to have a strong, warm stallion like yourself wrapped around me, holding me close…”

“...Errrghh…”

“But we can only do that if you help me out,” Princess Luna tacked on. “What do you say?” As a final twist of the knife, Luna rolled over further and laid her full weight on Red Cola’s body, placing her muzzle against his ear. "I could even wear...socks!"

His face and ears burning, Red Cola broke. “Fine! Okay! I cave! Our leader, Midday Wheat, is hiding out at the 3rd Avenue Corner Club in Manehattan!”

“Aha!” Princess Luna leapt away from the snuggle table triumphantly, landing gracefully on all four hooves. “‘Twas an elaborate ruse, knave!”

“What!?”

“You still have to go to prison. I mean, you tried to assassinate my niece and almost killed several dozen ponies!” Princess Luna turned her attention to the one-way mirror. “Did you get all that, boys?”

“Loud and clear, Princess,” the grizzled older guard spoke through an intercom. Princess Luna lifted a hoof in acknowledgement.

“Darn it!” Red Cola struggled against his binds for a few moments before collapsing helplessly against the table again. “Erghhh...Do I at least still get weekly snuggles?”

“Of course!” Luna responded adamantly. She brought a hoof up to her chest and frowned deeply in anguish. “What, did you think I was a monster!?”

Author's Note

If this story does not cure your Post-Bronycon Depression, I don't know what will.

1 updoot=1 day spent in Luna's Cuddle Dungeon

Crime: Kidnapping

Princess Luna seemed to almost dance down the stone hallway, occasionally greeting and being greeted by her prisoners as she waltzed past the soft cells. Who ever said it was impossible to make criminals happy while you violated their rights and used shady interrogation tactics?

Today was a particularly special day; a big case had made his way into Canterlot’s dungeon, and Princess Luna was able to get him transferred directly under her supervision for his punishment. As she rhythmically skipped down the cold corridor, her mane's ponytail swayed behind her, hovering over her well-brushed coat. The flickering, magic crystal lights were bright enough to reveal her cute face, accented by clear lip gloss, some blush, and a special, sparkly eye shadow.

In short, Princess Luna looked extra adorable today.

As she approached the cell where the offender in question was held, she rolled her eyes playfully. It seemed that the Cuddle Dungeon Guard Team’s newest member was once again on duty. The poor little pony was struggling; it took a while to get used to how things worked around the Cuddle Dungeon, and until one was experienced, all they did was slow things down.

She halted in front of the door. “Greetings, loyal protector.”

He stared up dumbfounded at her, clearly admiring the work she had put into her appearance. “H-hey Princess Luna…”

Princess Luna grinned. “My crown is up here,” she noted, pointing a hoof at the black adornment behind her horn.

After a moment of confusion on the guards part, his gaze was drawn away from her beautiful features and he snapped to attention. “S-sorry Princess,” he stuttered, unlocking the cell door.

“Thank you. For the record, I’m glad you like this look,” Princess Luna stated, bringing up her hoof to briefly toy with her mane’s ponytail. “Now,” she stated, bringing the same hoof under his chin, “Go to the observation area and watch with Papaya Sunrise. You’ll learn how these things usually go, and you can ask him questions.”

“Mmhmm,” the guard hummed as he began to stagger off, still somewhat awestruck.

Princess Luna walked inside the green-themed cell and closed the door behind her. “Why, hello there!” she beamed happily.

A hot pink pony with a black and pink mane lifted his head up to see who had entered, and his pupils shrunk to the size of pinpricks. “Oh….Oh no.”

Princess Luna tilted her head. “Don’t worry. I know it’s probably intimidating to have a Princess come see you, but I promise I’m not here to hurt you.” She strode up to the side of the table and beamed sweetly down at him. “I protect all of Equestria from nightmares, after all. That goes for ponies that are in trouble, too.”

The pony seemed to relax a little bit, but still eyed her warily.

“Still so shy! What’s your name?”

“I...I’m Poptart.”

Princess Luna let a incomprehensibly quiet snort of laughter reverberate in her throat. She knew his name, of course; it was all over the papers, but she needed to hear him say it himself. “What an interesting name. Now, do you know why you’re here?’

“Yeah, yeah, because I’m awaiting trial for kidnapping.”

“And not just kidnapping anypony!” Luna continued for him. “Sapphire Shores, Equestria’s leading popstar!” She let out her cutest, most demure giggle. “How funny- Poptart kidnaps a popstar!”

She could see Poptart’s features soften. “Heh, I guess there is some humor in that.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, you’re in big trouble,” Princess Luna continued, accentuating her statement with a quick boop on the nose. “Still, I’m here to talk to you and help you get better the best way that I can. After all, we don’t want you going out after your serving your sentence and tying anypony else to a chair in your bathroom for four days, now do we?”

“I was just doing it for the ransom,” Poptart protested, furrowing his brow.

“I know, I know,” Luna cooed softly. “But, you also asked for ‘thirty hundred trillion bits’ in the ransom letter. How is anypony supposed to pay that? It’s three-hundred times Equestria’s GDP, Poptart!” She stuck out her tongue playfully at him. “So, it’s better if we rehabilitate you so that you don’t kidnap anypony ever again.”

Poptart rolled his eyes and turned his head away from her. “Great, so you’re here to lecture me?”

“No, no, we’re going to have a discussion and get to know each other,” Princess Luna said, placing a gentle hoof on the table next to him. "Then, we can start working on reforming you into a productive and happy pony!"

Poptart looked intently into Princess Luna’s face for a few moments and grinned slowly. “I hope you don’t mind me saying, Princess Luna, but I never knew you were so...cute.”

Princess Luna let out a happy gasp and clutched a hoof to her chest. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, you’re actually like, adorable. And that means a lot because I usually just call most mares ‘smoking hot’ or ‘bat ugly’.”

If one listened close enough, one could almost hear a growl emanate from behind the one-way mirror.

Princess Luna coyly placed a hoof over her lips. “Does that mean you don’t think I’m...hot?”

“I never said that!”

Princess Luna giggled and smacked his chest playfully with a hoof. “Stop! Oh, Poptart, you are too much!” Gently climbing onto the sloped table, she laid herself gently in the space created by the restraint pattern of Poptart’s hooves, making sure to let her tail tease his legs. “You know, I really like your coat and mane color,” Princess Luna commented, gently resting her head on one of his restrained hooves. “So bold!”

“Th-thank you,” he said, leaning the side of his body into hers confidently after being egged on by her compliments. “Mares always like the bold stallions, that’s what I say.”

“So true!” Luna gushed, turning her body to face him and looking deep into his eyes. With a cute toss of her head that sent her ponytail bouncing around, and parting her lips gently to accentuate her lip gloss, she asked him a rather surprising question. “...Poptart, would you like to cuddle?”

This gave him pause. “You want to...cuddle?”

“Yeah!” Princess Luna said excitedly, sliding down the table to the hoofrests and positioning her body above his. “I love to cuddle, which is why all the rooms in this part of the dungeon are so soft!” she gushed. “I promise I’m really, really good at it! I’m also super fluffy and soft, see?” She lowered her barrel to his and rubbed it around for a few seconds.

Poptart shivered as Luna’s fluffy chest glided effortlessly over his. It was the softest thing he had ever felt. “Wow. I never know dungeons were this fun...Sure, we can cuddle!”

“Oh, great!” Princess Luna smiled at him. She lowered her body tantalizingly close to his, using her hooves to support herself. “Just hug me close to you whenever you’re ready!”

With a dopey smile, Poptart lifted his hooves towards Princess Luna’s midsection. He was jolted out of his temporary euphoria, however, when the loud jangling of metal signaled the end of his range of motion. He tried again, only for the same result to occur.

“Is there a problem?” Princess Luna asked softly, tilting her head as if she was confused.

“I can’t hug you.”

“I don’t see why not! Try again.”

He jangled his chains once more. “I’m tied up, remember?”

“Oh, your restraints! Silly me.” Princess Luna turned her head to face the room’s one-way observation mirror. “Papaya Sunrise, could you please release Poptart’s restraints so that we could cuddle?”

The room’s intercom buzzed to life and the room filled with the voice of the grizzled batpony guard. “Sure thing, Your Highness. I’m just going to need thirty-hundred trillion bits, first.”

Poptart’s eyes widened as he pulled on his chains. “Wh...what?”

“I don’t understand what’s taking so long,” huffed Luna. “Just pay him the money and you’ll go free.”

“I don’t have that much money!” Poptart protested, pulling on his chains again.

“Well then just hug me!” Luna ordered.

“I can’t!” Poptart responded, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “I’m tied down!”

“What’s that?” Luna responded, her ear flicking in response to his pleading explanation. “Are you saying that being tied down against your will is a BAD thing?”

“Please let me cuddle you P-Princess,” sobbed Poptart.

“Go ahead and hug me! I’ve been waiting!”

“I ca-a-a-an’t….” Poptart spat through what was now a full-on crying episode.

“I thought you wanted to cuddle!?”

Tears ran down Poptart’s face and fell all over his body. “I d-o-o-ooooooo…”

“YOUR PRINCESS DEMANDS CUDDLES. WE ARE WAITING; CUDDLE US! CUDDLE US NOW!”

In the observation room, Papaya Sunrise was doubled over in laughter, slapping his hooves against the wooden bench he was sitting on and flaring his leathery wings with every new round of cackles that sprang from him. “Th-this is great! L-l-look at this racist fruitcake!” He choked, wiping away a joyous tear from his eye. “Crying like a little filly!”

“Sir,” the newest member of the guard interjected. “Doesn’t this go...I don’t know, a little too far? I mean, it’s so intense…”

Papaya Sunrise caught his breath and cleared his throat, although his smile remained. “There are plenty of reasons to question the Princess’ methods, but you can’t argue with the results. Have you seen the statistics? Since she became co-ruler again, we’ve successfully rehabilitated more than 99.6% of kidnappers.”

The younger guard glanced out at the scene, the adorably intense form of Princess Luna hunched over and screaming at the pitiful pink crybaby. “Yeah, I guess...Still, though."

Author's Note

Poptart is FamousLastWords's OC. The full chapter plot was already outlined but he got his name and colors used :D

Crime: Inter-Dimensional Travel (Without an Applicable Visa)

Princess Luna tilted her head quizzically, her muzzle slack-jawed as her eyes analytically ran over the being on the other side of the one-way mirror.

The chief guard on shift, Papaya Sunrise, cleared his throat as he waited for the Princess’ response.

“What in Equestria...Is that thing?” she asked slowly, still looking at the thing tied to the yellow-colored cell’s cuddle table with sparkly-eyed inspiration.

“We’re not sure, Your Highness. We found it lying unconscious in the middle of Canterlot Avenue. Preliminary magical analysis suggests the presence of a highly powerful spell used to transport it here.”

Princess Luna hummed softly, her interest piqued further. “Have any of you interacted with it?”

“I sent the newbie in a little while ago. He said that ‘it’ is a ‘he’ and that it speaks our language.”

Princess Luna let out an impressed gasp. “Is that so? I knew there was something quite...alluring about this creature.”

“Uh, Hello?” The human tied to the cuddle table asked. “Is anyone behind that mirror? Where am I?”

Princess Luna’s eyes widened as she inhaled. “Wow! So intelligent! I have to go talk to it!”

“Wait, Your Highness!” The guard cried, grabbing her hoof. “E-excuse my boldness,” he began, withdrawing his own hoof, “But we don’t know the first thing about this creature! It could be dangerous!”

“How exciting!” She replied, moving out of the room and to the cell door with a sense of purpose. Gesturing firmly, she signaled the guard to unlock the door. When he had done so, she strolled inside confidently and observed the creature intently, her face betraying significant interest.

“Uhh...Hello?” the creature greeted apprehensively.

Princess Luna sucked in an excited breath. “Hello!”

“You look like you’re the, uh, horse-thing that’s in charge here. Where am I?”

“How magnificent you are...” Princess Luna cooed as she closed the distance between them. “A fascinating creature.”

“Or, just totally ignore the question. That’s cool.”

“You can even use sarcasm!” Princess Luna’s eyes sparkled with the thrill of discovery. “Do you have a name?”

“Uhh...Yeah. I’m Michael. I’m a human.”

“Nice to meet you Michael. I’m Luna, and I’m a fifteen-hundred year old pony princess.”

Michael craned his head around, as if looking for hidden observers. “Is this an episode of 'Pranked' with particularly high production values, or something?”

“Why are you wearing clothes?” Princess Luna inquired, poking Michael’s t-shirt once with a hoof.

“Because that’s what humans do? We don’t like being naked.” Michael looked Princess Luna up and down with a pair of piercing green eyes. “Although I have gathered that you ponies don’t care much. Look, can you at least explain to me why I’m tied to a surprisingly comfortable metal table?”

“We’ve never seen your kind here before in Equestria,” Princess Luna explained, although her curious smile never left her muzzle. “The guards say you could pose a significant danger to us.”

Michael jingled his chains and sighed. “Yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but I’m pretty harmless.”

“Harmless, you say?” Princess Luna bit her lip and thought for a few moments. “Guards! Release the restraints remotely!”

“We can’t, Your Highness!” a gruff voice replied from the intercom. “We have no idea how much damage he could do; he’s probably lying about his powers and intentions!”

“Do not question your Princess! There is only one way to gauge his true power: I must snuggle him!”

“Princess, I must protest-”

“DO YOU ALSO WISH TO SPEND HARD TIME IN THE CUDDLE DUNGEON?”

The guard’s silence seemed to indicate he was contemplating this for a moment. “Ehhhhh...Actually, kinda, but I get your point.”

A buzz of the intercom signaled the remote release of the prisoner’s restraints and Michael gently slid down the table to the floor. “Ah, that’s a lot better.”

Princess Luna was upon him almost immediately, her front hooves wrapped around his neck as she balanced on her back hooves. “Show us your snuggle power! We must learn if you’re a threat to us.”

“Snuggle power?” Michael questioned. “I...okay, I guess.” He wrapped his arms around Princess Luna’s midsection and pulled her close to him.

“Ohhh,” Luna breathed. “You’re good at snuggling, I can tell; and so warm…”

He chuckled softly. “Geez, maybe I was right and this is some sort of sissy, magical, pansy world.” Michael reached up and ran his fingers in tiny circles behind Luna’s ear.

It flicked in response and Luna moaned happily. “H-how...are you doing that? I-I can’t s-stay…” She slowly flopped on her back, lying on one of the nearby throw pillows with her eyes in a glazed stare.

Michael chuckled evilly. “Fingers are weapons of mass destruction here, huh? Wait...I bet I can take over this whole world after all.”

“P-please, no,” Luna whined as he continued to scratch behind her ears from atop her. “I-I want to protect my subjects!”

“Silence!” Michael commanded, running both his hands up Princess Luna’s chest floof. “You are very fluffy, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Luna commented calmly and almost offhand before returning to her futile struggling.

Michael’s hands moved down to her soft tummy and rubbed it in long, elegant and repeating lines.

Princess Luna gasped and squirmed under the assault, whining in pleasure. “It feels too good...I can’t...Losing consciousness!”

“Hold on Your Highness!” the voice of the Cuddle Dungeon Guard Team’s newest member buzzed through the intercom. “We’re coming to extract you!”

“N-no, stay away!” Luna commanded feebly as Michael began running his fingers teasingly across her wings. “He’s too powerful; we can’t risk him escaping! I shall use all of my power to restrain him!” Straining so hard that a roiling red blush caught fire on her cheeks, Princess Luna slowly began weaseling out of Michael’s grasp. “I-it’s working!”

“I don’t think so!” Michael cried, placing his hands on her front hooves and beginning to massage them gently.

Luna gasped and became immobilized at the moderately pleasant feeling, her eyes beginning to flutter shut.

“Haha! Yes! I am unstoppable!” Michael cried triumphantly. “Perhaps ending up in this strange world was fate; perhaps I am destined to rule!”

With all of her strength, the Princess of the Night bucked her lower body upward with enough force to dislodge Michael and send him falling backward. Scurrying desperately to her hooves, she used her magic to float him over to the restraint table and reattach the bindings.

Michael simply laughed maniacally. “Do you think these binds will stop me? It’s only a matter of time until I escape and overthrow you!”

The two guards on duty frantically threw open the cell door and rushed to Princess Luna’s aid. “Your Highness, are you alright?”

Princess Luna sucked in lungfuls of air as she tried to recover. “Y-yes. You are right, he is dangerous.”

The younger guard spoke up. “What are we going to do, then?”

Princess Luna’s eyes narrowed in determination. “He will remain here under my custody,” she declared forcefully. “I will use him to hone my cuddle powers. If more of them ever come, Equestria will be ready.”

Michael laughed as the trio of ponies exited the cell. “Good Luck, ‘Princess’! I think we all know why you’re really coming back!”

Princess Luna kicked the door closed with a hoof and regally strode down the hallway towards the stairs which led back to the main halls of the castle.

“Princess,” Papaya Sunrise called, struggling to catch up with her.

Princess Luna acknowledged him with a turn of her head, but didn’t slow her gait.

“Your Highness,” the guard began, his armor clinking as a consequence of his quick pace of movement, “Why were you holding back?”

“Whatever do you mean?” she replied, the first hints of a grin playing at her muzzle.

“You and I both know that you are a far more powerful cuddler than that.”

Princess Luna halted at the foot of the spiral stairs and regarded her staffer cooly. “Are you suggesting that I allowed our interdimensional interloper to overpower me with cuddles on purpose, so as to establish probable cause for keeping him in custody? Simply because I find him a fascinating creature who I wish to snuggle with more? And that, as a secondary benefit, I can horrifically embarrass him at a later date by leveraging his overconfidence against him in another cuddle-interrogation? Do you really believe I would do such a thing?”

The experienced guard looked back at her tiredly, with half-lidded eyes. “Yes, I do. In fact, it’s what I’d expect you to do.”

“Hmmmf,” Princess Luna scoffed with a poorly-hidden smile, turning her back on the guard and walking up the stairs. “I suppose you don’t know me at all, then."

Crime: Vandalism

“So you finally caught our little vandal?” Princess Luna asked, her eyes peeking between the bars and into the cell where a young unicorn filly was coloring on some paper. “Why isn’t she tied to the table?”

“I didn’t do it. Restraining a foal just feels...weird. It’s not like she’s going to escape or anything,” the newest guard explained.

“I can do it,” Papaya Sunrise added. “We duct-taped the newbie to the wall last night, so it’s not like I’ve got any moral barriers with regards to restraining pitiful children.”

Luna noticed the new guard’s hurt expression and rolled her eyes. “That won’t be necessary. I’m already here.” As soon as the guards had unlocked the door, she strode inside.

The dark blue filly looked up briefly from her coloring to look at the Princess. After a few moments, her eyes returned to the page, as did her crayon. Her pink mane swayed gently as she moved the crayon up and down the page.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Princess Luna asked her.

The filly was silent for a moment as she continued to draw. Eventually, she spoke up. “For throwing rocks.”

“Indeed. This has been going on for a while; and not just throwing rocks, but using them to break very pretty and important windows. There is nothing ‘cool’ about doing that.”

The little unicorn looked back up at the princess. “You don’t know what cool is. You’re old!”

Princess Luna gasped and held a hoof to her chest in shock. “I am not!”

The little filly squinted up at her skeptically. “Aren’t you like, a million-zillion years old, or something?”

Luna’s cheeks puffed out indignantly. “No! I’m only fifteen! ...Plus or minus a few orders of magnitude,” she retorted, whispering the last part. “That was very rude of you! Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

“My mom died when I was a baby,” the filly said, looking back down to her coloring page. “I usually take care of myself.”

“I...uh...oh.” Luna’s ears flopped against the sides of her head.

“Sometimes Daddy comes home acting funny, and he yells and breaks things,” the filly added, almost as an afterthought.

Luna visibly cringed. “Well, I guess I’m a terrible pony, now,” she stated, mostly to herself. Walking over to the coloring foal, she squatted down to bring her to eye level. “What is your name?”

“Shadow Rose,” she responded, putting her crayon down again. Luna could tell she was far more interested in coloring that talking about her offense.

“Well, Shadow Rose, you know that breaking windows is wrong, don’t you? We’ve had to replace those important windows several times over the last month because of you.”

“...I guess,” Shadow Rose replied reluctantly.

Princess Luna closed her eyes and thought for a moment. “The reason that those windows are so important is that they depict very important heroes in Equestria’s history...Do you want to read a story about a hero with me?”

Shadow Roses eyes sparkled with interest for a moment. “O-okay. Nopony ever reads to me.”

“Come and sit with me,” Princess Luna said, taking a seat in the corner of the room near some fluffy pillows. Shadow Rose followed, and positioned herself between Princess Luna’s front legs.

Lighting up her horn, Princess Luna transported a foal’s book from the castle library into the room. “This story is called, ‘The Knight and the Evil Wizard’. In it, a brave warrior rescues a princess. Have you heard of it?”

Shadow Rose scrunched up her muzzle. “The coffeeshop lady says that stories about princesses being saved by stallions are misag...miserger...misgenistic and relics of...opppretun.”

Princess Luna frowned. “Goodness, child, have you never had the chance to just be a foal?” She opened the book to the first page, displaying a beautifully drawn picture of a faraway kingdom.

Shadow Rose leaned gently into Princess Luna, both for comfort and so that she could better see the pretty pictures.

“A long time ago, in a magical kingdom far, far away…”

In the observation room, the newest guard on the Cuddle Dungeon team was overwhelmed by the sweetness of the scenario. “Princess Luna even loves foals...Is there anything she can’t do?”

Papaya Sunrise did not let his eyes wander away from the touching scene for a moment, but the forlorn smile on his lips broke temporarily as he let out a sigh. “Kid, thing about being in this job is that you’ll never know true happiness...But, you know exactly what it looks like.”

“And so all of them, even the once-evil wizard, lived happily ever after.” Princess Luna closed the book with her magic.

Shadow Rose looked up at her hopefully from her position nestled snuggly under Luna’s barrel. “That was a fun story!”

“I’m glad you liked it. I’ll make you a deal.” Princess Luna placed the book on the floor and tapped a hoof on it. “I’ll read to you whenever you want, but you have to promise not to break any more windows in the castle. Whenever you feel like you want to throw rocks, go talk to a guard and ask them to bring you to me for a story. Alright?”

Shadow Rose stood up and plunged her face into Luna’s fluffy chest in her best attempt at a hug. “Thank you, Princess Luna! I promise, I’ll do that!”

Luna smiled broadly and patted the filly’s head with a hoof. “Good.” She unlocked the door with her magic and let it swing open. “You can go now; one of my guards will let you out of the castle.”

Shadow Rose lingered for a few moments. “A-actually, can you read me another story before I go?”

Princess Luna tapped a hoof against her muzzle in mock thought, just to hide her growing smile. “Well, alright. One more.”

Author's Note

Again, the story had already been planned out, but the name and colors of the character Shadow Rose belong to Fluttercord4Lyfe's OC.

Crime: Twenty Years of Service

The first thing Papaya Sunrise felt was a throbbing in his head. It was so alien, so out of place, that he didn’t want to move or even breathe.

After ten seconds, the pulsating pain subsided and Papaya Sunrise’s eyes apprehensively fluttered open. The room he was in was very dark, but not so much so that his sharp batpony eyes couldn’t make out some details, like blankets covering the floor.

The light streaming in from some bars in front of him was just enough to let him positively identify the room he was in as a cuddle cell. Defeating the urge to stay immobile, he lifted up his hooves, only to find he had been restrained, which confirmed his suspicions.

The only source of light was extinguished as a solid clunking noise signaled that the metal cover had slid into place over the cell door’s bars. Now in complete darkness, Papaya Sunrise could see nothing, and icy cold fear swelled up in his chest.

“Hello, Papaya.”

“Princess Luna?” he asked, feeling a little relieved. “Why am I tied to one of the cuddle tables?”

“Why do you think?” Luna’s voice replied coolly. In the pitch blackness, it felt as if it was coming at Papaya Sunrise from all directions. “You’ve committed a heinous crime.”

Papaya’s heart began to race as he thought through everything he could have possibly done to offend the princess. “B-but I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Lies and manipulation!” the Princess of the Night screamed in retort, slamming a hoof down hard somewhere on the (comfortable) metal table. The loud bang sent Papaya leaping in fear. “You know what you have done!”

“B-but I...I would never do anything to hurt you, Princess,” Papaya protested, struggling a little bit in his bonds. “I have served under you for a long time!”

“Ah, yes, this old story.” Something soft ran over Papaya’s side, tracing a line from under his front leg down to his cutie mark. “I’m truly disappointed, Papaya, because until last night, I thought the same about you.” More softness ran up his other side as the peeved princess circled the table slowly. “Papaya Sunrise, the loyal guard and my dear friend, even.”

Papaya felt the room grow visibly colder. Somehow, he knew Princess Luna had leaned in towards him.

His ear flicked immediately as her hot breath washed over it. “Imagine how hurt I was by your betrayal.”

“I-I don’t know what I did, Your Highness,” Papaya replied, trying his best to remain stationary on the table, as if he was standing at attention. “But, I await my punishment; I’ll prove to you I’m loyal!”

“Such a good stallion,” Luna mused. “Too bad your word means nothing!”

Papaya felt the undulation of a magical aura around his hooves. A gentle clinking noise released him from his bonds, and he fell gently to the soft ground of the cell.

“...Your Highness?” he asked in confusion. Even after years in Luna’s employ, she still found ways to confuse him.

He felt a warm, soft body slowly enter into contact with his own. A hoof wrapped over his back, and pressed his face gently into the side of Luna’s neck, his fangs scraping softly against her coat. Papaya inhaled deeply and found that in addition to her natural scent, Luna was wearing a perfume of lavender and lemongrass.

“Oh, Papaya,” she whispered. “This is for old time’s sake. I’m sorry that I have to do this.”

The grizzled guard felt Luna’s magic wrap around his whole body and jerk him forcefully away from the sweet hug. He dangled in the air for a few moments, before the same aura tossed him haphazardly across the cell into the wall.

Papaya fell onto a soft pile of throw pillows, and he groaned as a sharp ringing filled his ears. He didn’t even bother trying to get up; it was clear Luna wanted him disoriented on the floor, and he didn’t want to risk being thrown again.

His suspicions were confirmed not even seconds later, as Luna slid up to him and wrapped her hooves tightly around his midsection. She pressed him tightly into the cell wall, with a pillow being the only thing keeping Papaya’s muzzle from being crushed against the wall in the darkness.

Princess Luna snuck her back hoof between Papaya’s legs in comfort and pressed him even harder against the wall.

Papaya winced in discomfort as a few of his joints popped. Luna may have been soft, but she was strong, too. He had no doubt that if she wanted him dead, she could kill him with hugs alone.

After letting out a tight groan of pain, Papaya felt a wave of relief wash over him as Princess Luna flipped over on her other side, carrying the guard’s body with her.

Papaya took a deep breath in and stretched his jaw. “Luna, I-”

Princess Luna growled and flared out her wings, wrapping them tightly around Papaya’s face. “Silence, traitor! Your crimes are to be punished most severely, not with idle chit-chat!”

The silken feathers completely blocked out Papaya’s access to the air in the room, and he felt himself almost suffocating. The air he was able to inhale was sickeningly warm and so saturated with Princess Luna’s scent that he began to feel lightheaded.

It finally hit Papaya: whatever was going on, it was real. He had no idea what he had done wrong, yet he found himself in a font of absolute pleasure so tainted with the taste of fear that he could barely enjoy its softness and warmth.

He squirmed uncomfortably as Luna’s hoof began tracing small circles on his tummy. She began to nuzzle the side of his face from behind as a response to his escape attempts, and he stopped his movements out of fear of what she’d do next.

Luna wiggled her hips and front leg joints, aligning herself more perfectly with Papaya’s body. Every part of him, from the base of his tail to the back of his neck, was tightly pressed against Luna’s soft coat. She squeezed him tightly to herself, causing his back to crack and his leathery wings to flare out in pleasure. He began skreeing into her wings in both ecstasy and fear, the sounds escaping the feathery cocoon around his face as pitifully quiet and high-pitched whines.

Princess Luna chuckled darkly. “Why are you doing that, Papaya? Are you calling for help? Nopony can hear you.” She wrapped her wings more tightly around his face, depriving him of oxygen. “It’s just you and me, alone in complete darkness.” Her hoof ran over the whole length of his tummy, her tail beginning to tease his legs. “There’s absolutely no escape for you. You’re at my mercy.”

She leaned her muzzle into the side of his face, pressing her lips against his ear. “You like cuddling this way, don’t you?” Luna whispered.

Papaya shivered in fear at the way she asked him the question.

“Don’t you?” she asked again with more force, squeezing him tightly again.

Papaya let out a guilty skree of pleasure.

“Do you or do you not like cuddling with me like this!?” Luna demanded, unwrapping her wings from around her guard’s face.

“Yes!” he practically screamed. “This feels so good, that I don’t even care that I’m being punished! I don’t care that it’s spooky! It’s the best cuddling I’ve ever gotten!”

“And a fitting punishment… for two decades of work in the royal guard!”

The magic crystal lights in the room buzzed to life, revealing half a dozen other on-duty guards standing at the back of the room. Immediately upon being revealed, they began cheering and stomping on the ground noisily.

“Wh...what?” Papaya Sunrise asked in a daze as Luna removed herself from him and offered a hoof to help him stand up.

“It was a half-prank, half-reward!” Luna told him with a beaming smile. “In celebration of your long service in the guard!”

Papaya stared back at Luna with blank golden irises, blinking once.

“I knew I was intimidating, but what, you didn’t really believe that you were in trouble, did you? You haven’t gotten a single citation for bad behavior the entire time I’ve known you! Heck, you’ve been working in the castle since long before I returned from the moon.”

Papaya shook his head, a smile beginning to form on his muzzle. “Wait a minute, h-how did you get this idea?”

“It was Chamomile Dreams’ idea,” Princess Luna explained. “She’s the one that suggested a party for you, drugged you, dragged you down here, and stole your cuddling journal for me to read.”

Papaya glanced over at the younger, lilac female guard. She held up a hoof, stuck out her tongue, and closed one eye in a friendly, mocking expression.

“I helped too,” the youngest member of the guard added.

“Shut up, newbie!” cut Chamomile Dreams.

“Yes, indeed. Shut your face, newbie!” Princess Luna agreed. “Do not presume to take credit for the work of your betters.”

“Wait, you ponies knew about my secret cuddling journal?” Papaya asked the other guards.

They all nodded vigorously, some chuckling at the question.

“I didn’t, though,” added Luna. “It must be really difficult for you to work under such a beautiful, smart, and cuddly boss.” Using her magic to pop the journal in front of her, she began slowly browsing its pages. “I’m not going to lie, Papaya, you are into some weird cuddling stuff.”

The guards at the back of the room snickered.

“Oh, what, are you all going to tell me you wouldn’t like Princess Luna to forcefully cuddle you alone in a dark room?” he asked defensively.

The other guards were largely silent, some pawing at the ground or averting their gazes.

Princess Luna noticed their behavior and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Y-you are really, really cuddly, Your Highness,” Chamomile Dreams reluctantly admitted.

Luna rolled her eyes. “Oh, great, I’m going to have to do this all the time now, won’t I? Is this a 'thing', now?”

“Maybe you can just cuddle us on every other birthday, or something,” the new guard suggested. “That way, we can-”

“SILENCE, NOVITIATE!” Luna shouted in response, before turning her attention to the pony of the hour once more. “My goodness, Papaya, you must get better control of your underlings.”

Papaya Sunrise ignored her outburst and cut his response to her clearly. “I don’t think it will be too much of an issue, Your Highness. I think you enjoyed that a little more than you’re admitting.”

Princess Luna turned up her muzzle in mock insult. “Hmmph! There may be some small gratification in seeing my dear guards happy, yes. That does not mean that I have the time to cuddle everypony that wants it. There are prisoners to interrogate and punish, you know!”

“Something tells me you’ll find the time,” Papaya finished. “Well, Princess Luna, thank you so much for the present. I know it was strange, but it really means a lot that you’d go to all that trouble just to make my cuddle dreams come true.”

“Well, it’s not over yet! What, did you think five minutes of prank cuddling in front of your colleagues was all you were going to get?” Luna looked over to the other guards. “Leave us.”

The guards filed out solemnly, except for Chamomile Dreams, who left only after giving a number of silent, mocking, ‘go snuggle her, tiger’ gestures to Papaya.

“What would you like to do now?” Princess Luna asked. “I thought that, if you wanted, we could snuggle and I could read you this list of nice things I wrote about you.” With a flash of blue magic, a small note materialized in front of her.

Papaya Sunrise smiled broadly. “You’re too sweet, Your Highness. Absolutely, I’d like to do that.”

Princess Luna led him into a little dip in the elevation of the cell at the far end of the room, where some pillows and blankets had been set up. She laid on her back in a reclining position allowed by the slope of the soft floor, and patted the space next to her.

Papaya gingerly stepped down and laid next to her, leaving a little gap of space between them.

Luna looked over to him and pouted softly.

Papaya just smiled in response and scooted over so that his side was touching hers. Princess Luna wrapped a soft wing around him and floated over a fluffy blanket, extending it around them both. Papaya sighed softly at the cozy warmth and the touch of Luna's velvety coat.

Luna cleared her throat and lifted up the note with her magic. “Number one: you are very loyal and hard-working. More so than any of the other guards.”

“Thank you,” Papaya responded, leaning his head on Luna’s shoulder.

“Two: you like to cuddle. And, as I found out in your journal, you like to cuddle *almost* as much as I do.”

“Mmmmmm...That’s true. Sorry you had to figure it out that way.”

Princess Luna just giggled. “We all have our special cuddling tastes. It just so happens that mine tend to align well with yours. I didn’t want to say it in front of the others, but you were right that I enjoyed teasing you.” She cleared her throat. "Three: your fangs are so adorable!” she gushed. “C-can you nibble a pony with those?”

“Is that a question, or a request?” Papaya asked knowingly, looking up at Luna with a smirk.

“A request,” she admitted bashfully.

Papaya scooted himself into a better position and leaned into Luna’s neck, nibbling it softly and letting out a cute skree.

Princess Luna sighed happily and leaned her neck into the gentle treatment, occasionally giggling. “My my, that is very nice. Mmmmm…”

Eventually, Papaya pulled away and placed his head on Luna’s soft barrel. The warmth from Luna and the blanket was beginning to lull him to sleep.

Princess Luna simply placed her chin on top of his head and nuzzled him side to side with it. “Sleepy, are we?”

Papaya yawned and nodded in agreement. “You’re softer and warmer than any bed...if we don’t do something soon I won’t be awake to hear the rest of your list. C-could we cuddle again...like, like before?”

Luna grinned mischievously. “Chapter two in your journal, maybe?”

As soon as Papaya nodded, he was lifted into the air with Luna’s magic and forced down on his stomach on the soft floor.

Luna rushed to stand over him, then lowered her body to pin him down tightly against the floor, causing Papaya to sKree happily in pleasure. Before they began, Princess Luna leaned down to briefly whisper a message in her loyal guard’s ear.

“Thank you for your service.”

Author's Note

Headcannon: Bat pony screes do not assist with echolocation, and serve a purely aesthetic purpose. Don't like it? Too bad lol idc.

Crime: Hubris...and Also the Visa Thing, Again

“Well well well,” cackled Michael the human maniacally as Princess Luna stepped gingerly into his cuddle cell. “What do we have here? The princess is back to be dominated with cuddles again, hm? I knew you couldn’t keep away.”

Princess Luna bit her lip and looked down at the padded floor. “I have to keep facing you to build up my power. E-eventually, I will become stronger than you. I have to, for the safety of Equestria.”

Michael cackled. “The power may have driven me insane, but I love it!” Grinning, he leaned forward in his chains. “You cannot ‘train’ yourself through me, Princess. It will be the end of you!”

Princess Luna nodded to the observation window, and Michael’s chains were released. He fell to the floor at first, but soon stood up slowly, his cackling becoming louder and louder.

“I-I’m ready for you!” Princess Luna declared shakily, closing her eyes tightly together.

“We’ll see about that,” Michael spat, walking up to Princess Luna and reaching a hand behind her ear. He began to vigorously scratch at the space, using his fingernails.

“N-no!” Luna cried, the tip of her tongue protruding from her mouth in ecstasy. “I will not be d-defeated, so long as you don’t start rubbing in little circles!”

“You witless pony princess; you have revealed your weakness!” Immediately, Michael’s hand motions transitioned to a pattern of tight circles.

“O-oh no, I-I can’t…” A noise that sounded like a snort came from Princess Luna. “I-I can’t…”

Princess Luna collapsed into a fit of aggressive chuckles. “I can’t keep this up anymore.” Standing up straight, she glowered imposingly at Michael and grinned wickedly.

“Huh?” Michael asked, his face betraying the slow onset of panic. He rubbed behind Luna’s other ear, and then both at once, to no effect. Kneeling down, he ran his fingers under Luna’s barrel and down to her upper belly.

“Pleasant, but unfortunately ineffective,” Luna scolded. “Your impudence knows no bounds; did you truly believe that the likes of you could defeat the most skilled cuddler in this world?”

Michael sputtered wildly, but was unable to form any sort of coherent response.

“And now you kneel before me. How fitting!” Princess Luna pushed Michael over with a firm jolt of her hoof and promptly laid herself on top of him. “Now you will be punished for your arrogance and questionable immigration methods!”

Michael was vaguely aware of Luna’s hooves over his limbs, her supple tummy resting on his, and her wing’s feathers gliding effortlessly over what little skin he had exposed. Mostly, however, his brain was preoccupied with the chest floof pressed firmly against his face.

Princess Luna began wiggling after only a few seconds, the incredibly soft hairs of her coat brushing against Michael’s face and causing sensory overload in his brain.

“I…I…” he mumbled into her coat as his consciousness began to falter.

“What, are you going to faint?” Luna asked mockingly. “Go ahead and do so! I rule the realm of dreams and will simply cuddle you there! Death is the only escape from your punishment, and I am not so merciful as to grant it to you!”

With another few circles of Luna’s chest, Michael lapsed into fuzzy, blissful unconsciousness.

Later, Michael’s eyes fluttered open to see Princess Luna’s hooves in front of his face. He had no idea how long he had been out, but from how warm and fuzzy he felt, it was clear that Luna had cuddled him. His memory of the time he spent comatose was fractious, but something told him that she had made good on her promise to cuddle him in his dreams, as well.

“Well, well! Look who is finally awake.”

Michael summoned up an inordinate amount of energy and turned his head to look up into the stern (but very cuddly) face of Princess Luna.

“You have faced the consequences of your crime, and survived,” she explained to him, regarding his limp body with a degree of satisfaction. “Perhaps now you will be so careful as to not challenge your betters to contests of the body and soul.”

Michael looked back up at her blearily. “M-more…more cuddles?” he stammered back roughly, as if he was a patient just out of surgery.

Luna shook her head and tutted in disapproval. “Your punishment was severe and swift. There is no reason to mangle your body further, especially if you want it. That goes twice when you have done nothing else wrong.”

The gears in Michael’s head turned quickly as he contemplated his next move. Grasping onto an idea, he slowly turned his head towards the observation window. “Hey…Hey guard! You’re…you’re ugly.”

A soft buzzing noise filled the room as Papaya Sunrise pressed down the button to talk from inside the booth. The noise continued for a few seconds as he contemplated his response.“Well, that was rude,” he finally said.

“Yes, indeed!” Princess Luna agreed, moving to stand over Michael imposingly. “And it is deserving of more punishment!” she added with a smile.

Michael smiled too, and for the next hour he was absorbed into warm, fuzzy bliss.

[BONUS] Crime: High Treason

Princess Celestia yawned weakly and stretched her back out. She felt groggy; usually she woke up at exactly the right time to raise the sun, and did so with loads of energy. Today, however, something was different.

Groaning, she crunched her eyes tightly together for a few moments before opening them.

She was not in her bedroom.

Immediately, Celestia knew that something was wrong. She attempted to sit up, only to find that a clanking noise and chains tied to her hooves prevented her from moving. Her heart began to beat quickly. “What? Wh-where am I?”

“And so the traitor has awakened,” a voice from behind her spat aggressively.

“...Luna, is that you?”

“Oh, you recognize your dear sister...and after such a horrific betrayal, no less.” Princess Luna strode from behind the restraint table to the front of the room, and into Celestia’s vision.

“Luna, where are we?” Celestia asked, already a little annoyed at whatever antics her sister was engaged in.

“A place that you were until now unaware of. A place where I am in control and deliver punishments to those who threaten Equestria’s safety.”

“Luna! Are you telling me this is an illegal dungeon!?”

“ENOUGH! It is not like you are any better, ‘dear sister’! Indeed, your acts can only be construed as the highest treason!”

Celestia sputtered for a few moments. “What are you talking about? I love my subjects; I love Equestria!”

“Recent events have shown these sentiments to be naught but an elaborate ruse,” Luna scolded, her face contorted into a deep frown. “And now, you will be punished for your betrayal!”

Luna’s horn lit up, and the fitting of one of Celestia’s bindings was dragged to the same side of the table as the other, placing her on her side. “Luna, what are you-”

A fuzzy warmth came in contact with Celestia’s wings, making her gasp in surprise, Soon, Luna’s hooves wrapped tightly around her sister’s midsection, pulling their bodies tightly together.

“Lulu, stoooooop! You know I hate being the little spoon!” Celestia whined, wiggling futilely in an attempt to escape her sister’s snuggly clutches.

“Perhaps you should have thought about that before you ATE THE LAST OF MY PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES!”

“We were all out of Cassata cake!” pleaded Celestia.

“SILENCE, AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A TRUE PRINCESS!”

Author's Note

So while this story is 'completed', it is definitely NOT 'done'. I had way too much fun writing these chapters to end it here; so, expect periodic releases of bonus chapters whenever I feel inspired.

I hope you all enjoyed the cuddles!

[BONUS] Crime: Dereliction of Duty

The youngest member of the night guard, Strawberry Shadow, blinked a few times as he looked down at Princess Luna.

“Aren’t you going to come snuggle me?” she asked him softly, looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

“A-are you sure, Your Highness?”

“Of course I am. You work so hard and are quite comfortable-looking; both of which are very admirable traits.” She ran a hoof down her soft belly enticingly and blinked a few times at him. “Please come over, won’t you?”

With a wavering, goofy smile on his muzzle, Strawberry Shadow tentatively walked over and laid next to Princess Luna, placing a wavering hoof on her floofy chest.

Princess Luna let out a soft whine. “Stop teasing and hold me, already!”

A beaming grin on his muzzle, Strawberry Shadow wrapped his hooves around Luna’s midsection and pulled her tightly against him in a spooning position, causing her to squeal with delight.

“Oooh! I was right! You’re such a good cuddler!”

Just as Strawberry Shadow closed his eyes, another voice was heard, sounding just like Luna’s. “Do ponies really think that I sound like that?”

Strawberry Shadow lifted his head up, furrowing his brow in confusion. He was met with the sight of a rather aloof Princess Luna looking down at him.

Strawberry quickly looked down to the pony he was cuddling- Luna. Then looked back up to the pony watching him- also Luna. “H-huh?”

“Is there something wrong?” the Luna he was cuddling asked.

“I...I...uh…”

“Yes, why don’t you tell her what’s wrong?” the other Luna added, narrowing her eyes a bit.

Strawberry awoke with a start and a small, startled skree. He whipped his head around quickly to find that he was in the Cuddle Dungeon’s break room; and that Princess Luna was looking at him with the same disinterested expression that she had been in his dream. He looked up at her with wide, fearful eyes, not exactly sure if she had been aware of his dreams.

“You are not afraid to dream big, I will grant you that,” Luna told him with a smirk.

Strawberry babbled for a few moments before deciding on an ashamed silence. Not only had he fallen asleep on the job, but he’d been caught dreaming about cuddling his boss- not necessarily the best way to climb the rungs of the bureaucratic ladder.

“Why are you sleeping? For that matter, why are you down here at all?” Princess Luna asked, suddenly seeming more curious than displeased.

“L-Lieutenant Papaya Sunrise gave me the early morning shift in addition to my scheduled double shift, ma’am,” he told her quickly and reverently. “I’ve been on duty for almost twenty-four hours, and...forgive me!” His eyes darted back and forth between hers, fearfully searching for some purchase. “I-I’ll get right back to my post,” he stammered, standing up from his chair and moving toward the room’s exit.

Princess Luna’s hoof landed gently on his barrel and pushed him back into his seat. “Stay where you are.”

A blush over his cheeks, Strawberry just looked up submissively at the powerful, elegant alicorn standing in an intimidating fashion over him.

Princess Luna merely continued looking blankly at him for a few seconds, before a spark seemed to glint in her eyes. “A touch of harmless work-schedule hazing, and you can’t even keep yourself awake? What if one of the dangerous prisoners here were to escape!?”

Not many prisoners ever wanted to really leave the Cuddle Dungeon in the first place, but Strawberry understood her point and bowed his head shamefully.

“Truly, falling asleep on the job- I should have you court-martialed! Drummed out of the guard!” Princess Luna took a few intimidating steps toward him.

Strawberry’s body shook heavily, as he continued to stare down at the floor, awaiting the just payment for his crime.

“Or, I could work up a special punishment for you,” Princess Luna delivered, her voice slowly lowering into a whisper as she leaned into his ear. “Although I’m not sure it’d be much better for you.”

The guard swallowed a heavy lump in his throat and remained silent, his vocal cords paralyzed by fear, confusion, and indecision.

“Court martial...or my punishment?” Princess Luna breathed a little more forcefully.

“P-punishment,” Strawberry squeaked back, unsure what compelled him to his answer.

“So it will be, then.” With a magical flash, Strawberry found himself thrown to the floor of the Cuddle Dungeon’s purple room, with Luna standing next to him.

Strawberry’s heart started to beat quickly. This wasn’t a punishment after all, was it? Could it be that-

“Get on the table,” Luna ordered, pulling the dazed guard to his hooves with a burst of telekinetic aura.

Strawberry Shadow scrambled obediently up the table in response, lying quickly on his back.

“Oh, good, you know what’s coming.” Luna’s horn came to life as the bindings closed around Strawberry’s hooves. “I just hope you’re ready for it.” Regally, Luna stepped up onto the stage at the bottom of the cuddling table, taking her sweet time.

Strawberry began to sweat as Luna lowered her fuzzy midsection onto him and wrapped a back hoof around his leg such that it laid next to his tail between his legs. He let out an inadvertent skree of contentment in response.

Luna into his eyes with a raised eyebrow. “You do hate this, don’t you? If you don’t absolutely despise me holding you tightly against me, I’ll have to find another punishment for you…”

Luna’s grin gave Strawberry all the confidence he needed. Still in shock that this time it wasn’t a dream, he responded. “Princess, I hate this, I-I can’t stand it. Don’t hold me any tighter against you, and p-please don’t run your hooves over me or wrap me in your fluffy wings!”

Luna chuckled darkly. “Now you have revealed your weaknesses to me!” Placing her head down on his upper barrel right under his neck, she pulled him tightly against her with her top hoof, causing her silken tummy to rub gently against his side. Unfurling a wing to cover his body, she ran her other hoof gently over his far front leg, occasionally redirecting it into little circles. Finally, Luna floated over the blanket and covered them both, yawning gently and squeezing one of his back legs between her own.

Strawberry was thankful that Luna turned off the lights next, which served to hide his embarrassingly bright blush of ecstasy. Still, he was nearly certain that Luna could hear his heartbeat.

The two laid together in silence in the dark, until it was broken by Luna. “Ooooh, I was right,” she said, mocking the intonation of the dream Luna from his fantasy earlier. “You’re such a good cuddler!”

“P-princess,” Strawberry Shadow stuttered. “Why...why are you doing this?”

Luna let out a pleased groan and nuzzled his neck softly. “Because I like snuggling and fall asleep easier with a cuddle buddy. Plus I felt a little sorry for all the trouble the others have been giving you. You’ve been on staff a couple of months, I mean geez. Don’t they have somepony else to pick on?”

Strawberry’s heart dropped in his chest. “O-oh.”

“...I would be lying, however, if I did not say that I agreed with your false version of me’s analysis: I find your work ethic impressive, and you do appear and feel quite comfortable.”

Strawberry smiled and yawned. “Th-thank you Princess. D-does this mean that I could be the big spoon?”

“Absolutely not. You’re awake, so I’m in charge.”

Strawberry was far too tired to protest as Luna’s soft coat and gentle warmth lulled him to sleep soon after.

Strawberry Shadow blinked a few times as he looked down at Princess Luna.

“Aren’t you going to come snuggle me?” she asked him softly, looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

The ecstatic guard took a step forward before halting. “Wait a minute...I can’t do this! I’m cuddling with Princess Luna in real life, if I got caught again cuddling her in a dream, who knows what she would do?”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind,” Luna responded softly, lying on the floor with her belly facing upward.

“I-I don’t know, she’s hard to read sometimes…”

The Luna on the floor rolled her eyes. “Come now, I’m sure she’s not around.” She ran a hoof up her tummy and barrel, fluffing up her coat alluringly.

Strawberry’s gaze darted around his blurry dreamscape, searching for any sign of his employer. “You can’t know that. She’s a sneaky one.”

“Strawberry, I’m sure that she wouldn’t care. In fact, she probably wants you to come and hold her.”

Strawberry’s eyes flashed with understanding. “Luna?”

Luna growled. “No...Twilight.” With a scrunching shut of the eyes, her former submissive demeanor was restored. “I mean, of course, Strawberry. Y-you aren’t just going to leave me all alone here, are you?”

“I-I’m with you now though,” he exposited as he laid next to her and placed his head on her barrel.

“But I want you with me here, too,” she responded. “You deserve it.”

Strawberry rolled onto his side and wrapped a hoof around her. “D-does this mean I can be the big spoon?”

Luna smirked. “You’re not awake, so I guess you’re in charge...here, at least.” She rolled onto her side and pressed her flanks and back gently into Strawberry’s body, the natural complementarity between their forms causing Strawberry to relax in comfort.

Smiling softly, Strawberry rubbed Luna’s tummy and nuzzled her galaxy-spanning mane. “Thank you, Princess. F-for your punishment, I mean.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, and Strawberry Shadow?”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“You’ve got tomorrow off. Enjoy it.”