No Surprises, Please

by Ice Star

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Draconequus, Raven Inkwell
Length: 2158

Personally, Celestia has had few surprises — oh, there were a few: the unexpected return of her dear sister, Discord, the Crystal Empire's, and Tirek's escape. But most things, she finds, are nice and calculated... until now.

Princess Celestia is a very well-adjusted mare. Life in Equestria is often as orderly as she is.

Personally, Celestia has had few surprises — oh, there were a few: the unexpected return of her dear sister, Discord's return, the Crystal Empire's, and Tirek's escape. Maybe there were a few others, but most things, she finds, are nice and calculated.

Now, Princess Celestia has a very big surprise, and it all starts with a few cracks in a single egg.

Cover art by SilFoe. Contribute to the TVTropes page! Reading of the old version by Lotus Moon. Recommended by PresentPerfect!

Published 2017-08-05 20:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-05 20:20:06 UTC

Such a pretty mare, such a pretty egg

Upon the pile of cushions on the floor in one of the chambers of the Solar Wing of Canterlot Castle, rested Princess Celestia. Her smile was constant, and somewhere between small and stretched, but if anypony were to see it, they would not see the strain. They would see Princess Celestia, smiling as she did, and to them, it would be the same perfect smile that they had always known.

That was how Princess Celestia liked it. Politics and other things made sure that she was an expert at such smiles.

Her rose eyes held worry in them, but it was masked and nopony would've noticed that either. She did not swallow or flinch. Her composure was simply perfect, and she wasn't surprised.

Inside, she was trembling like the very life next to her.

Leaning against her side was a massive egg, and one Discord was quite proud of. Celestia had mixed emotions, to put it simply. Very simply. She liked things like that. The egg was really quite large. Its weight against her side was honestly uncomfortable, but she wouldn't say that, even if there was anypony currently around to hear. Oh, Discord was there of course. Half an hour earlier he had been winding strands of her tail around the digits of his talon and rambling on about why the egg felt lonely. She had simply gestured to the stack of paperwork in front of her and assured him that she was very good at egg-sitting.

The egg was quite warm too. Sometimes she wished she knew what she was supposed to do. Most of the time, Discord had the egg and wrapped his noodle body around it to keep it warm. That was really all Celestia knew how to do with the egg — the egg that contained the child she sired. She kept it warm by wrapping blankets around it and propping it against her side. When it touched her, the heavy pink shell felt strange.

The blankets also helped cover the face Discord drew on it with a permanent marker, insisting that 'Eggbert' ought to have a good view of their parents. Celestia thought the face was unsettling, and quietly tucked the blankets over it again with a soft tug of her magic.

She returned to her paperwork. That was that. She was calm. On the outside, at least.

This egg was her child. This egg was the child she had never planned on having.

Her breathing was almost always very calm, and now was not much of an exception. Her chest only fluttered with a slight irregularity.

Discord, meanwhile, slept soundly, clutching her shimmering tail like a blanket and snoring.

Celestia almost thought she felt a twitch under all those blankets, and her heartbeat quickened with worry. She inhaled calmly... and then it seemed to stop. She just needed to calm down. This was her child.

The child she never planned on having.

She felt Discord wake up suddenly, emitting a feminine screech that rocked the room like a banshee's call and startling her.

Celestia, goddess-princess of Equestria, nearly choked on her next breath and the tea that she had been sipping. Instead, she ended up doing a spit-take and coughing into her forehoof as she expelled the tea at the sudden shock... only to see, with a sinking heart, that her paperwork was now drenched in it.

She cringed and turned her head around as much as she could to get a good look at Discord. "D-Dissy...?" she stuttered.

"W-What was—"

"IT'S GOING TO HATCH!" Discord shrieked again, not paying attention to her as he jabbed a paw in the direction of the egg.

Celestia swallowed and found her throat to be bone-dry. "W-what?" she managed, voice barely a whisper. Her ears rung from the sound of Discord's wails — she wasn't sure even a prepubescent filly could make a sound that high in pitch. A vase of flowers still trembled nearby, and the rattling of the windows still sounded in her ears.

Discord proceeded to explain very carefully.

"OUR BABY IS HATCHING! EGGY IS FINALLY GOING TO—"

Celestia blinked, dazed. The rest of what he was saying wasn't heard by her — his mouth was still moving, she could see that. His claw was still pointing, she could see that too, but she couldn't hear anything beyond a faint ringing.

She swallowed again and found her throat just as dry, but decided to carefully nudge some of the layers of blankets away with her forehoof. The teacup she had been holding in her magic fell, and onto her paperwork no less. Now, the sound of breaking rang in her ears too, and it felt deafening. Right in front of her, on the surface of the egg that contained her child — the child she hadn't ever planned for — was a crack on the pastel pink surface, and a big one.

She inhaled sharply and coughed.

Discord jumped forward and curled up in front of the bundle, staring wide-eyed and excited at the egg before him, mouth agape as he pointed with a claw.

"Look," he whispered.

Celestia nodded slowly, feeling dizzy as she watched the surface of the egg continue to split, cracks spreading across the once pristine shell. She wanted to protect what creature — a kirin — lay inside, but she wanted to protect that little kirin in the same way that she desired to protect every good pony. She felt horribly lightheaded as she looked on, head swimming with questions that she'd rather dismiss in this whole unexpected thing, and watched the shell fracture. A child would be in there, a child that Discord was already eager to see — the look in his eyes of foal-at-Hearth's-Warming-Day glee was so obvious — was within that egg, and had been since they'd been, ah, introduced. Her breaths were more frequent and short now, but she kept her appearance up. This was her child... and it was a child that she hadn't planned for like she'd planned almost everything else in her life and—

And she reached out abruptly with her magic, her face surprised but not betraying anything else as she snagged what looked like a small golden bell from a nearby table.

Her golden aura encircled it, and she shook it, and watched as a small wave of bright, radiant light spread out and then vanished into Canterlot Castle, searching.

No sound rang out, but that was exactly as expected. If one were to look into the bell like it were a goblet, they would see it would be impossible for it to ring. A few runes from the magic she never really got the hang of were carved clumsily into the metal, almost scratched there when compared to her flowing and elegant writing. A small peal sounded from around the castle, but most ponies weren't likely to pick up on it. Luna would, as would Cadance and Twilight too. Discord heard it, and maybe her kirin foal did too, but Discord didn't react. He knew what the bell was for, or more importantly: who it was for.

Celestia remained calm on the outside as she waited for Raven to come, wanting to tear her eyes away from the cracks on the pink shell so very much.

Raven was nothing more than a secretary. Right now, Celestia, eyes watering, couldn't admit that she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

So she sat by, watching cracks grow.

...

Celestia thought that the little chimera creature still covered in egg-goop was particularly dumped into her forehooves. She didn't remember stretching them out to accept the swaddled creature — a kirin.

Her daughter — Discord had been right in some way, it seemed — looked less like an equine than she had imagined. Two eyes with pupils of sky blue stared into Celestia's watery rose ones, not quite seeing the Alicorn mare.

From the depths of the blankets, two forehooves escaped the swaddling. Both were that of an equine, but not the same.

One could pass for a normal pony's with no trouble, but the other was shaggy, and with unshorn fetlocks that waved with the last bits of goop that her thorough, but careful towel cleaning hadn't cleaned.

Her daughter was a quadruped — her, Discord, Raven, and the startled personal doctors of Celestia had seen this. Only her right-hind leg looked like it belonged on something other than a pony, being green, scaly, and cloven hoof. The same green scales also wrapped around her back, where two mismatched wings lay folded and wrapped up: a blue insectoid wing that Celestia thought was much like a dragonfly's, and a pink feathered equine wing.

She didn't swallow. She stayed calm. Celestia's heart pounded so hard in her chest that she thought it was desperately trying to escape. Her ribs ached with a nervous breath. The only signs of disarray were the trails from the tears running down Celestia's cheeks and the patches of her coat that were mussed up. Her mouth was tugged into a smile that hurt her cheeks a little more than it should.

The bundle wriggled — clearly, she didn't like having her tail, which was so much like her father's, wrapped up — and she looked up at Celestia again with those blue equine eyes on a silvery equine face. A mane of autumn hues — sorrel, gold, orange, and a familiar pale pink swept down from her head in a soft wave. The same colors marked the tuft of her tail.

Only twin horns — slender and curved slightly at the ends, like some kind of gazelle or savanna creature of the West, protruded from her forehead.

Celestia, in her haze, noted that the blue eyes of her daughter matched the blankets that she was swaddled in. Celestia knew that under those blankets was a smooth peachy, creamy colored coat and a left foreleg of thick, shaggy sorrel and the strangest thing: a sort of cutie mark, already upon her haunches.

Discord's explanation for this was a dull hum in her ears. Her draconequus side dictated her path — but her equine side needed to reflect this, thus she was born with a mark promising chaos.

Right now, Celestia really didn't want any more of that. Her surroundings felt fuzzy, and her mind was in a haze, only the little filly in front of her seemed to break through it.

The last time Celestia had held somepony so small and innocent was over three thousand years ago, when she first held Luna, who was almost as big as she was at the time. It was one of her favorite memories... she had finally been allowed to see the new blue baby instead of just peeking over the top of the cradle that had seemed too tall...

Forcing herself to focus on the present, Celestia was unable to look at those blue eyes directly. The chatter of doctors, Discord, and Raven in the background felt so far away that she paid it no mind. She simply stood, immovable and as rigid as a statue with an infant kirin filly resting in a white foreleg, where the little one could feel close to her mother.

Mother. Celestia flinched at the echo in her head. She hated that it was her own voice that so neatly labeled her that.

Mother. For her, that description was mostly foreign, especially next to things that she readily accepted like teacher and ruler.

Maybe it was when Celestia wasn't paying attention, but that strange little tail of her daughter's had escaped its blanket prison.

Celestia's heartbeat thumped painfully in her chest and she was aware her sense of time had blurred to a shocked stupor that gripped her mind.

This little creature who looked up at so unknowingly, and like she was the only goddess in this world was her daughter.

Celestia's chest felt numb and her head faint.

Mother. Daughter.

Princess Celestia had been prepared for nearly everything. She was a calm, collected mare at nearly all times. She was at ease around her good little ponies. She managed everything and controlled so much. She did not like surprises if they were not blithe little things — small things like unexpected jokes at parties or Discord's pranks.

Her mouth felt a great deal sorer, so she stopped smiling with... something and let her polite smile cross her features. A relaxed, pleasant smile.

Princess Celestia clutched her kirin daughter — her daughter — tighter.

Celestia controlled so much, and yet...

Mother. Daughter. Her daughter.

She blinked and was glad nopony could see the fresh tears trailing down her cheeks in small rivulets. She forced the lump in her throat down with terrifying ease.

She was not prepared for this.

Author's Note

[Revised for print on 11/17/2020]