A Dashin' Conundrum

by Boop-Happy Lass

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3188

Rainbow Dash struggles to keep her life sane as a rip from space and time suck her into a whole new "Equestria".

Rainbow Dash struggles to keep her life sane as a rip from universes suck her into a whole new "Equestria". A trip filled with trials, encounters and a brand new... language. Hopefully, friends may appear on this strange new world.

Editor: Soniard Seram Go follow him!

Published 2017-11-01 03:20:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-03 15:55:37 UTC

Awoken

“Xer tuta kaka?”

“Uhh, zoon.”

“Kaka…”

“Czo… cola soosoo?”

“Echa echa… vy cola.”

“Kam.”

“Oh… zoon…”

She twisted and turned, immediately put her forehoof up to her forehead. She groaned in agony, her mind having an intense migraine. Due to this, she tried to pull herself up to sit despite the illegible protests by some unfamiliar voices and was greeted with an aching pain on her abdomen. She fell back down, finally feeling the hay she was laying on. Mustering her strength, she opened her eyes…

… and was figuratively blinded by the brightness of the sun. Hissing, she closed her eyes as quickly as she fell back down. They stung, she couldn’t tell if it was from the sudden light, or something more. Nevertheless, she opened her eyes yet again; the light was more bearable this time.

She felt herself relax as she saw grass and trees. Birds chirped and flew. Although, the bandages were keeping her a bit stiff.

“Soosoo poopoo nuni?” Her ears twitched as a voice unfamiliar rang to her ears.

“Baca xer kam. Oxkro poopoo nuni cyche.” She heard again.

A second or two passed, she craned her neck to her left side and saw an earth pony with a black mane and tail, a light blue coat and had a wristband on his hoof. Beside him was a unicorn mare with a white coat, her blonde mane laid naturally on her head's sides. She decided to break the silence.

“Who are you guys?”

Their ears perked up, while their eyes were wide open. Both of them looked nervously at each other, slowly stood up, and slowly backed away from the bandaged mare.

"Wos soosoo nust...?" The stallion said, casting a glare towards her. His partner muttered worryingly and was trying to restrain him.

"Whoah! Whoah, whoah... there's no need for this!" Her cries were left ignored as the two strangers were arguing. Finally, The stallion's nostrils flared and he nodded.

"You... identify you." The stallion had manage to say, it was pretty clear that he struggled to make a sentence. She could hear him mutter to himself, "Narkuei nuni..."

She replied back, "How could I trust you after you almost assaulted me?" The stallion looked puzzled, so he glanced expectantly at the unicorn mare.

"We apologize. Please, forgive us," The unicorn said guiltily, "Krieg here is much, uhh, paranoid from the ongoing war."

War. A very alien word to her. First she wakes up on a forest and learns that a war has started on Equestria. She couldn't forget about the new language, too. She wasn't even sure she was in Equestria anymore. She figured she must be in some sort of dream, naturally.

So she asked, "Could you pinch me first?" Her companions wore a confused expression. Albeit, the stallion had a more puzzled look on his face seeing as though he couldn't understand a darn thing she was saying. His partner translated, though. Making his expression soften just a tiny bit.

"Just do it, 'kay?"

Finally after a second or two, they reluctantly complied. The pinch didn't hurt too much... she didn't know whether or not the sensation was mostly covered by the aching pain throughout her body.

"M'kay. I'm not dreaming." She half-heartedly said. She lethargically glanced at her surroundings for the last time, then set her gaze towards the two strangers.

"Soosoo-err... You are actually taking this well, madam?" The unicorn mare asked.

"Honestly? I'm just too tired right now to care," She yawned, "wake me up more peacefully, alright? Maybe we could go on with proper introductions then. I'll just go and—"

And she was out like a light.

Retake!

Her ears twitched, hearing the sound of the wheels bumping rocks along the road. It seemed that she laid inside a carriage. She turned to her side...

... it appeared to be a bad idea. She grunted and bit her lip, wasting no time, she faced towards the roof once again. First thing she noticed was that the bed she is lying on was way more comfortable than the hay stack. Except it wasn't a bed. She saw that it was a mattress. Next thing she noticed was that her body didn't ache that much anymore.

"Xer tuta mehrhingr?" A soft voice.

"Echa." A gruff voice.

"Soosoo jun trintye, echa?" She practically heard the other mare raise an eyebrow at the stallion. She heard a sigh, and nothing else. He probably nodded. She thought. She felt the carriage come to a stop and became confused. It wasn't long though before she saw a petite unicorn enter the cramped room.

"Are you feeling better?" The mare asked, like a loving mother taking care of a sick child.

The bedridden mare stammered, "I, uh... I guess." she lifted a forehoof and rubbed her forehead.

"You aren't feeling hot?"

"No, not really. I feel fine." It wasn't a lie, although being bedridden stiffened her body, it didn't felt like she got sandwiched by sturdy walls anymore.

"Oh, that's well."

It had been silent for seconds, both mares thinking of a topic to converse. Eventually the injured mare finally remembered what she had just said before falling asleep. She perked up, "Oh! Uhh, about that introduction...?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Give me a few jits."

"... Jits?"

The unicorn mare raised an eyebrow, "Uhm, yes. Jits."

"Is that like... bits?"

"Uhm, hold on..." The unicorn grabbed a book from her saddle bag that the bandaged mare didn't even know was there. So she waited... a minute passed and the unicorn probably found what she was looking for.

"Seconds. I mean seconds." She seemed satisfied when she saw her patient nod her head. "Alright. My name is Wonder Writer. The stallion driving the wagon currently, and my childhood friend, is Krieg Cormac. Again, we apologize for almost attacking you back in the woods."

Wonder Writer raised her forehoof forward, waiting for a hoofshake. Her potential friend looked at her hoof for a moment and grasped it with her own, cyan hoof.

"I forgive you all already, though I have questions that I'll ask later. I'm the most awesomest pony of all, the one and only Rainbow Dash," She said, grinning wide and shaking Wonder's hoof. "Nice to meet ya."

Intrusion

"Wrungfr Thryggr, oxkro jen hunn!" Krieg called out, pressing his left hind leg on the brakes. He pressed a button right beside the steering wheel, which caused the carriage's engines to stop. He went out of the driver's seat and looked behind his shoulder. There, he could see Wonder Writer helping Rainbow Dash walk on her stiff hooves.

After hearing his call, Wonder glanced at him and replied, "Kaka! Oxkro jun cenb hunn!" She turned back to Rainbow, who was clumsily walking in circles. Chuckling, Wonder Writer trotted towards her and said, "It seems we will be... uhm, staying here."

Rainbow stopped on her tracks and darted her eyes on the grassy, but somewhat empty area. "We'll be camping here?"

"Uh, affirmative."

"Pfft. Ya don't have to sound like a soldier. I'm just wondering when I can finally do some great exercises. Heh, I can't even walk straight!" Rainbow Dash added emphasis to what she said by demonstrating just how terribly out of character her legs are at walking. "But, uh, anyway. Where are you even taking me?" Dash asked with a raised eyebrow. She looked around to find Wonder but found out she was at the backside of the carriage carrying boxes that Dash assumed only had some light materials inside.

Wonder Writer sighed and answered Rainbow Dash's question, "We're trekking to The Solanius Kingdom, Dash." she placed the boxes just outside the room and continued getting more.

Rainbow walked over to one stack of boxes and asked more, "The Solanly-whatnow?" she kept her eyes on Wonder Writer.

"The Solanius Kingdom." Suddenly, Wonder stopped on her tracks and placed the boxes she was carrying down. "Wait, you don't know what the kingdom is!?"

Rainbow Dash reluctantly replied, "Uhm, I've never... ever... heard of it?" she sheepishly grinned and absentmindedly rub a hoof behind her neck.

"B-But I don't get it at all. I-" It was at this point Wonder Writer stopped speaking in ponish and to her natural language, "Vy conna soosoo schtig soosoor phead cunni gruth, brut, soosoo cola'ti fi baca fretotocanya." Wonder Writer's head has been tilted and had an eyebrow that looked like it wanted to escape its place by raising so high.

"Yo, calm yourself! I-uhh, I totally remember this 'Solanius' stuff, a-and I'm a citizen." Rainbow Dash nervously said, "It's just that I... haven't been able to learn our language well! Yeah!" she plastered a convincing smile on her face...

... which was not really convincing, obviously. Wonder Writer learned this the easy way.

"Uh-huh..." She looked at Rainbow's face. Specifically, on her way too wide smile. Yet she continued to rid the backroom of boxes. Rainbow had noticed her looking and toned down her smile like a smart pony.

"Really."

"Well then, I shall have the honor in teaching you our language. We simply just can't let you speak Olden Ponish on the kingdom. Best case scenario, the citizens will think you're just speaking incoherently for fun. Worst case scenario--"

"They'll think I'm an ally of the Solanius's enemy, yes?" Rainbow interrupted.

Wonder, having finished her task, stopped in her tracks and said, "Why... yes, actually. How did you know that we had a war going?"

"You told me, remember?"

"Huh? Ah, yes... I remember." Wonder Writer's cheeks glowed red in embarrassment and her eyes had a sudden interest on the ground, "I'm quite sorry, I had been studying a lot about Olden Ponish ever since you fell unconscious."

"It's okay, girl. I think you're speaking quite expertly for only studying on a day!" Wonder Writer's ruby eyes widened like she had forgotten something.

Wonder Writer glanced at Rainbow and corrected, "Actually, you were asleep for three cycles." It was the eyes of Rainbow's turn to widen.

She regained her composure, "Ahem! That would explain why I'd eaten so much earlier."

"Indeed."

Rainbow sighed, "I'll go and get a grip on this place." Wonder Writer nodded and walked off to Krieg Cormac. Rainbow Dash decided to have a walk around the place, although with a bit difficulty. She walked far, but not far enough for Wonder and Krieg to lose sight of her. There wasn't that much of detail of the land.

A road, grass, grass, grass, grass, grass, oh look a tree, grass, grass and grass. Rainbow groaned. She sat down on the ground and glanced up in the sky...

... she couldn't wait to start flying again. The prismatic pegasus turned her head to face one of her bandaged wings. The bandage was clean, indicating that Wonder Writer or even Krieg Cormac had made sure to change it regularly. How?

"Not easily, I bet." Rainbow answered to nobody at all, she sat still for a few seconds, the only sign of movement was her chest beating up and down rhythmically. She decided to make the best out of the landscape and exercised. Nothing difficult or breathtaking. Just light, normal ones for her to slowly regain control and balance of her... well, body.

Eventually, she heard Wonder Writer call out for her and telling her to approach. Not hesitating, she trotted towards the mare without stumbling on her steps.

The unicorn looked like she had just seen a ghost, she was standing in front of a newly set up tent. She gestured for Dash to come quickly.

Upon closer inspection, Wonder looked devastated. Rainbow arched an eyebrow, silently asking her question. Wonder Writer sighed in relief and, wasting no time, whispered to Dash, "I need you to stay inside the tent. Now."

By the time she told that, she already pushed Rainbow Dash inside the tent behind her. Rainbow Dash opened her muzzle to say something but Wonder's glare made her clamp it shut. After a few moments, Wonder Writer galloped off to somewhere. As if she was told to, Rainbow Dash zipped the tent up.

She wasn't sure how, but Wonder Writer's behavior made her not dare to go outside. Which was impossible, since the Rainbow Dash wouldn't have been intimidated easily. However, Rainbow felt that it was best she stayed where she was.

"I have a bad feeling about this..." Rainbow stayed near the zipper of the tent just in case she felt trouble coming. In the mean time, she looked around the room. She saw that Wonder Writer had arranged a mattress, a sit-upon, a crate and a satchel near the mattress.

"I am so sorry, Wonder." Rainbow apologized, and grabbed the satchel. She looked at the contents inside, but before she could determine the stuff inside, she heard a gruff voice shrieking loud.

Rainbow gasped, "Krieg!" forgetting the satchel, she dropped it without thinking and hurried to the crate. It was open, and she saw a baton inside. Grabbing it with her mouth, she unzipped the tent with her hooves and hurriedly went outside. The shouting didn't seize and soon enough, she heard another familiar voice scream in pain. Rainbow growled and used the screams of her friends as a guide to them. It didn't sound far, but it didn't sound near either.

Don't worry, I'm coming! This was Dash's final thought before heading towards the sounds.

Author's Note

Teehee~!

Furious

"Vy conna soosoo'en hidjid shemeshoo, Adjent W soon K." A bulky pegasus stallion said.

"Vy assrente soosoo, Adjent D, oxkro jen'ti hidjid zenshoo." A stomp.

"Hmph. Vy jinsu'ti grutiutid gu soosoo." Hoofsteps.

Nostrils flared. "Jas vy gruti..." Krieg was ignored.

"Agent W, do you have any idea what happenss when you hide ssomething from your leader?" The bulky stallion asked fluently in Olden Ponish, but with a heavy accent.

Wonder Writer sighed, "Yes. Yes I do, De-"

"Don't say my name." 'Agent D' threateningly said, his accent being lost for a moment. This made Wonder Writer shrink in fear.

Krieg Cormac didn't understand a word they had said. Although, after he saw Wonder shrink, he decided to step in between the two and glared at 'Agent D'.

'Agent D' smirked, "Oh, you wanna go?"

Krieg didn't know what he said, but seeing as the bulky stallion in front of him was stepping into a fighting stance and his wings were opened wide, he assumed it was an invitation for a fight. So he replied, "Echa." and went to a fighting stance similar to his opponent.

"Hmph. Ssmart boy." A moment after he said that, he flapped his wings hard and launched himself towards Krieg. Krieg fortunately saw his opponent's left hoof readying for a punch and stood bipedal as he used both his forehooves to grab onto Agent D's fetlock and spun around holding it, making Agent D follow his hoof. After his 360 spin, Krieg let go of his fellow agent's hoof, launching him back and smacked against a tree. "Oof!"

Krieg landed his hooves on the ground, being alert to sudden charges. It was at this point where Wonder already stepped aside, trusting her childhood friend to handle the situation.

What he expected was to get a sudden charge by his fellow comrade. What he didn't expect was for Agent D to clasp his hooves together and shout, "Staticsus Voltus!"

Sparks materialized on his forehooves which were now facing Krieg and he sent a quick shot of electricity to the earth pony.

"AAAAAGGH!" Krieg Cormac screamed, convulsing a bit when the shot of electricity hit him. Most of his pain was on his withers. He looked down to see it, but it didn't look seared or burned. "Narkuei! Narkuei, narkuei, narkueid intenda!" He cursed under his breath. Wonder Writer shrieked in horror.

In the mean time, Agent D now stood on all fours and chuckled, "There iss a reasson why I'm the leader of thiss team, Agent K." he looked down at Krieg who was laying on his back and grunting loud while grimacing. Agent D smiled, "Drent, drent adt'i ebd cush a bramte... toe aduest'i thurt. Toe jun ti moordero soosoo." he said in one of the most ridiculously innocent voice.

He harrumphed when he saw Wonder Writer gallop to Krieg Cormac. He whined, "Aw come on, I literally jusst ssaid it wouldn't kill him. I mean, I am your fellow comrade after all. It'ss not like me to kill my agentss, jusst think of it ass, ah, dissciplining..." his frown deepened when both of his teammates were completely ignoring him and held each other. Platonically. "OH BOTH OF YOU GET A ROOM! Hmph, emrendat."

"Look, I didn't want to do this to both of you, Agent W. But if you won't tell me what you're hiding, at least tell me it's not anything related to them."

Wonder Writer actually glanced at him and shook her head.

Agent D sighed and closed his eyes, "Vy konna Vy'un skook soosoor sremon refo toe." he looked back at the still-grunting stallion below and was about to offer a hoof-

Loud hoofsteps were heard by the small group. Agent D was the first to notice, his eyes narrowed in alertness and his ears twitched. Krieg didn't seem all that affected and focused more on regaining his bearings. But Wonder Writer already knew what... no--who it was, and she panicked. She prayed to her goddess it was just a wandering animal...

... unfortunately, the goddess hadn't received her prayer on time. A petite light blue body came into view, bandaged wings, ruby eyes, a rainbow lightning bolt cutiemark and a surreal prismatic mane. It seemed that she also came with a baton on her mouth. Such impeccable timing.

Agent D challenged the sudden pony's glare with his own. "Hmph. Stund dreck, moriet." Without any warning, he prepared to grasp his hooves and do a spell to paralyze the intruder. Rainbow Dash noticed his hooves and got ready to dodge anything he could possibly throw at her. The battle would of began if Wonder Writer hadn't decided she was fed up with ponies fighting each other for no apparent reason and lighted up her horn to release magic and levitate both of the pegasi to the air.

"Enough!" Wonder Writer exclaimed, taking hold of both of them.

Taken by surprise, both ponies levitated under the chestnut aura either dropped their weapon, or lost concentration to their attack.

"Gah!"

"Whoah!"

Both of them looked at each other, glared for a moment, before glancing back to their interrupter. Rainbow Dash looked a bit annoyed, but was relieved to see both her friends mostly fine. Mostly. Agent D looked more peeved at Wonder Writer and looked like he was going to make her explain until no more information of the last few days was one her brain anymore. Seconds of silence passed, the trio could literally hear Krieg panting lightly.

Agent D had enough of the silence. "SOOSOO TRUSTH A TOLL FO INCOMPRANTID GU MUDO!"

Wonder Writer sighed and nodded. This was going to be a long day.