Unfortunate Circumstances
"What the shit..?" Caleb thought.
The floor underneath him felt soft, like a giant fluffy blanket. A white one at that. Caleb stood up and did a quick scan of his surroundings. Not a single building or person on the horizon. Just clouds, clouds, and... more clouds. It was then, he'd realized he was currently standing on clouds. A dim light shone behind Caleb, and he spun around. The light grew brighter, and revealed the silhouette of a massive gate. Said gate opened slowly, and a silhouette of a figure formed in the light. It walked forward, until he was visible to Caleb, who's mouth hung wide open.
"Please tell me that I'm dreaming right now." Caleb muttered to himself.
"Really wish I could." The figure said.
It was a man who sounded rather old, fairytale wiseman old.
"So... are you... the real God?" Caleb asked.
"One and only." God replied with a smile.
Caleb lost his balance and fall backwards. It felt as if the air inside his lungs were being compressed by his chest. He just met God himself, and everything was real. It was apparent because Caleb knows he can't have lucid dreams. It just hasn't happened at all in his normal, boring 22 years of life. He shook his head violently and struggled to get his feet under him. His eyes met God's, and a sigh escaped his mouth.
"So, I'm really dead huh..?" Caleb asked.
"Unfortunately so." God answered.
Caleb winced at those words.
"Uh, what happens now?" Caleb reluctantly questioned.
"You know?" God began, "I'm really glad you asked me that."
"Come take a walk with me." God waved a hand, then turned and walked into the light.
Thoughts of walking into the light after death scared the hell out of Caleb. Why would anyone voluntarily walk into the light? However the tone in God's voice sounded promising. Caleb stood up, took a deep breath, and hurried after the big man. He shielded his eyes as he stepped into the blinding light. The light slowly dimmed, and his arm lowered. The only thing Caleb saw was even more clouds. God stood at the edge looking down, and Caleb joined him.
The land below was coated in a bright green blanket of fresh, beautiful grass. Towns were scattered across the landscape, but the one thing Caleb noticed was the massive castle on the side of the mountain. At that moment, Caleb realized that he wasn't on Earth anymore. He looked over at God, then back at the castle. A soft breeze blew through Caleb's hair, and the sun that was not his own shone upon his skin.
"I was talking with a friend of mine who lives in that castle the other day." God spoke.
"Said she'd like to have someone like you in her world."
"Someone like me?" Caleb asked, surprised.
"Yes, someone who's nice to talk to, resourceful, rather intelligent. You did go to college didn't you?" God asked.
"Yeah, but I majored in Theater Arts and Culinary arts. Not anything too needy of smarts." Caleb answered.
"Well at least she'll have a good cook. Oh, and don't mention meat to anyone down there." God whispered.
"Wait, what? I'm actually going down there?" Caleb took a couple steps back.
"Why not? You did wish for a more interesting life, didn't you?"
"Of course I did, but this... why haven't you done this with anyone else? What makes me so special?" Caleb persisted.
"I've seen your worth Caleb, and I'm not forcing you. I'm giving you a choice. You wished for a more interesting life, now I'm giving you one. Or, you can die and stay with me in Heaven." God said.
"Wait, how did I even die anyways? I remember tackling a girl out of the way of a truck, but I don't remember getting hit by it." Caleb scratched his head.
"You died from shock." God deadpanned.
What. Caleb thought.
"Nevermind that." God waved a hand and said, "Do you want a new life or not?"
Caleb strolled over to the edge and looked down across the land. He knew that he wished for a more interesting life, but not under these circumstances. He also acknowledged the fact that the only reason this was happened because God's "friend" wanted someone to talk to.
Hey, anything's better than that boring ass job at Jimmy John's... Caleb thought.
Turned his head towards God with a stern look, and nodded. A light smile spread across God's face, and he placed a firm hand on his shoulder. The thought of God patting him on the back and sending him to a different world with a new life seemed absolutely bizarre. However at this point, Caleb wasn't complaining.
"You're going to love it down there. I promise." God assure with a smile.
"Have fun!" He shouted.
Caleb's eyebrows rose, and he looked back down to the land. The first thing he noticed was the clouds beneath him were missing. He gasped and turned back to God, who was also missing. Gravity soon began to take its toll, and Caleb's descent followed close behind.
"Oh bullshiiiiiiit!" He yelled.
His panicked yelling continued as he fell out of the sky.
What the hell kinda start of a new life is this? I thought he was gonna take me to her, or teleport me to her, not drop me outta the sky!
As Caleb continued to fall, he looked around desperately for anything to save himself. The only things he saw were clouds and the ground rapidly approaching. A thought popped into Caleb's mind as he fell.
This is probably a dumb idea, but anything's better than this! He thought.
He twisted his body and leveled himself out. Then he thought hard, and stretched out his shoulders. After a few seconds, another force tugged him backwards as he felt something shoot out of his shoulder-blades. He turned his head to see a large pair of bright white feathery wings protruding from his back.
A nervous laugh burst from his mouth and he started to flap his wings. The motions were weird, and having wings was weird enough in the first place. Even though he had wings, his decent wasn't getting any slower. Or smoother. The wings caught wind, and his panicked flapping rocked and rolled him to and fro. He did his best to aim for the castle, but his altitude was just below the lowest level. His gaze fell back to the oncoming ground, and he braced himself for impact.
Caleb couldn't see anything, but he felt the pain pulsate throughout his entire body. He tried moving, but the pain jolted through him, eliciting a pained groan from his throat. His eyes shot open, and he looked around. Tall, bright green grass surrounded him, making it hard to see. Caleb managed to prop himself up and look around more. He could barely see over the tall grass. His gaze went to his legs. His right leg was gashed open at the shin and gushing blood. Caleb panicked once he saw the bone sticking out.
"Well, this might not be the best thing, but good job figuring out you have wings!" A voice cheered in Caleb's head.
"Why did you just drop me outta the sky like that?!" Caleb shouted in thought.
"I wanted to see if you were smart enough to realize that you were still technically dead." God retorted.
"Is that your best excuse?" Caleb asked.
"Yep!" God answered.
"You're pretty lousy for someone who's in charge of his own afterlife." Caleb joked.
"Don't make me rescind my offer." God threatened.
"I was kidding. So what do I do now?"
"Why are you asking me? It's your life Caleb. All I did was rebirth you in this world."
"So I'm supposed to just sit here with a broken leg?"
"If that's what you want to do."
Another sigh escaped Caleb's mouth. He pushed himself up and balanced on one foot. He yelped in pain as the air blew against his open wound.
"Agh! Shit!" Caleb cried.
Caleb looked around for anywhere to go. The sound of wings flapping filled his ears. He looked to the skies, and panic seized his heart. There were two creatures, one was cyan and one was a soft yellow, with four legs and wings flying straight towards him. Confusion and instinct filled his mind and he turned to run. As soon as his right foot hit the ground, pain surged through his entire leg and his knee buckled. Caleb let out a pained cry and fell to the ground. He swore as he gripped his leg. The wing beats got closer, and eventually he heard the creatures land. He closed his eyes shut and held his breath.
"U-um, excuse me." A soft, feminine voice began. "Are you okay?"
Please don't tell me... Caleb thought.
He opened his eyes and lifted his head up. Lo' and behold the two creatures standing in front of him. Standing over him, on all fours with wings folded, were ponies. Yes, ponies. So much confusion filled Caleb's mind that he'd forgotten about the pain in his leg. The soft yellow mare hid behind her pink mane, avoiding almost all eye contact with Caleb. The cyan colored, rainbow maned mare leaned forward and squinted at him.
"Hey! My friend asked you a question." She said.
"U-uh. I'm fine, but my leg isn't." Caleb replied, moving his hands.
The yellow mare gasped, "Oh my!"
"Ouch, you must really not know how to use those wings." added the cyan mare.
"Well, no, not really." Caleb murmured, embarrassed.
"Well-- I guess I could teach you if you really wanted to learn."
"B-but Rainbow Dash, we should get his wound fixed first." The yellow mare squeaked.
"Yeah, I know Fluttershy. Plus Egghead's gonna wanna see him too." Rainbow Dash replied.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, huh?
"It's a pleasure to meet you Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy." Caleb said.
"The name's Caleb. Caleb Jones."
"Oh! It's very nice to meet you Caleb Jones." Fluttershy said with a smile.
"Please, just Caleb is fine."
"Yeah yeah. Anyways, let's get you to Twilight's house. She'll be the first person who'd wanna see him." Rainbow said with a turn.
"U-uh. I don't think I can walk with this leg." Caleb quietly chimed.
"You have wings for a reason ya dope!" chuckled Rainbow as she leaped into the air, spreading her wings wide.
"Eheh, didn't we establish that I don't know how to use them properly?" Caleb joked.
"I-if you want, I could help you there." Fluttershy offered.
"That'd be awesome actually." Caleb replied.
Fluttershy gave a smile, and took her place at Caleb's right side. Caleb stood up and leaned ever-so slightly against her. And together the trio hovered, trotted, and limped their way into town. Meanwhile, up in the clouds, God sat in his big white recliner in front of a large flat-screen TV. A smile crept onto his face and he reclined back with his cup of coffee.
"Good luck down there pal." He muttered. "You'll need it."
