The Darkness Pink Couldn't Cure
It was a perfect day in Ponyville. A perfect place for all ponies.
Pinkie Pie had maintained success in making every pony happy in Ponyville. Her efforts in setting an example of a joyful life had done so much to make Equestria a better place, especially after her contributions to saving the world multiple times with her best friends. She was famous and humble about it.
She wouldn't rest until every last pony in Equestria was happy.
But she knew she couldn't make everyone happy all by herself.
For her, the one thing she set out to do daily was to earn a smile from her friends. It was only ten in the morning on a Wednesday in autumn and she already ran into with Rarity and Twilight with warm laughter.
Pinkie, with all her fluff and fur, bounced through town with a hum capable of earning content smiles from residents of the small town who happen to pass her by. She was on her way to Fluttershy's cottage to check up on Gummy, whom the day before had caught a case of the sniffles.
The pink mare knew the kind yellow pegasus was more than qualified to take care of her pet alligator so he could get better. She was sad that Gummy was sick, but just knew he would feel better in the care of Fluttershy.
She could already imagine all the fun activities she would have with Gummy after she took him home to Sugarcube Corner. Games, cakes, laughing, and even more fun.
The cottage came into view and Pinkie slowed her bounce to a trot and made haste over the bridge.
She immediately stopped when she saw a young stallion waiting patiently at Fluttershy's doorstep while the door was wide open. Pinkie titled her head in quick curiosity before she smiled and respectfully walked up the hill to greet the new pony. She had never seen this pony before, and that was a problem. All ponies in town were her friends and all new ponies were subject to the full Pinkie experience with a welcome to Ponyville greeting party.
The stallion didn't seem to notice her, or even hear her walk up to him with the hum in her voice.
“Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie!” she nearly shouted, then held out a hoof. “It's nice to meet you. What's your name?”
The stallion flinched, but not quite enough to jump out of his fur. Instead, as she quickly observed, it seemed he was frightened. And not the fun type of fright, but another type of scared that she couldn't quite make out.
The new pony shook his head as if he was dizzy and looked at her briefly before hanging his head low to avoid eye contact. His expression was not what Pinkie would expect when she greeted a new pony.
Pinkie still had her hoof extended out towards him with a friendly grin on her face. The air was quiet for several moments, while the stallion did everything to not look at her. This made Pinkie frown, but she didn't give up.
“Go on, this is a hoofshake,” she said, hoping not to offend him. “Everypony loves a hoofshake when you meet somepony new in town!”
He didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on the ground or at the door.
“Are you new in town? I haven't seen you in Ponyville before. Are you here to talk to my best friend Fluttershy?” Her smile only grew as she tried to get his attention, but failed to elicit a response. She thought it was rude for him to ignore her, but never saw it as an insult. Getting out of awkward situations was a skill of hers after all.
After a few more seconds, he capitulated, slowly reaching out a hoof and shaking Pinkie's twice. His hooves her a little rough around the edges, but his movement was careful. He gave an quick grin and a nod, which even Pinkie could tell was fake.
As hoofsteps approached, Fluttershy came through the door with a small glass vial of clear liquid in her hoof.
“Oh my, I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd be here so early, Pinkie,” the pegasus said, quickly turning back to the stallion, handing him the vial. “There you go.”
The stallion took out seven bits from the pouch around his neck and gave it to Fluttershy. The only words he spoke were, “Thank you.”
He put the small bottle in his pouch and turned to leave. Pinkie Pie wasn't about to let him get away that easily. Before she ran after him, she greeted Fluttershy with a quick hello and then said goodbye thereafter, leaving her friend behind to look on in confusion.
With a little more bounce to her step to catch up to the stallion, she ushered her emergency smile tactics for this new pony.
“Hello!” she repeated. “Are you a friend of Fluttershy's? Because she is my friend too, and that means we're friends also! Isn't that cool?”
The stallion finally looked at her with an annoyed expression she has seen before. If Pinkie could get someone like Cranky Doodle to smile, she could get anypony to smile,
“Aw, don't worry, we can have fun later and I can throw you a Welcome to Ponyville party!”
“No,” he said, looking straight ahead as they reached the edge of town. The pace in his walk increased.
Pinkie frowned momentarily before grinning just as wide as she been before and trotted next to him.
“We can make new friends and play some games and eat delicious cupcakes. Won't that be fun?” Her enormous wide smile filled half his view as she stood in his way bouncing up and down. “I usually make it a surprise, but you don't look like you'd like that, so I thought I'd tell you myself.”
He paused for a second, then walked around her.
“I said no.”
Pinkie's subconscious bounce was gone and a grim look spread over her complexion. In spite of that, she kept her cool.
“Alrighty then, do you wanna do something fun? Just you and me? Friends always do stuff together. Maybe we could go bowling, or play at the arcade, or OH! I KNOW, we can meet my other friends, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Twilight, and little Spike!”
Her onslaught of words forced the stallion into a trot, then into a canter that put some distance between them. Pinkie cried out to get his attention, but failed as he vanished around a corner. She had given up chase because she knew not to stalk new ponies if she followed them home. She made exceptions, but her first impression was not the greatest.
Pinkie shrugged, but with a loud gasp, she jumped in the air and whisked away in a trait of pink. How could she have forget Gummy?
By the time she arrived back at Fluttershy's door, the pegasus was still outside tending to a few of her critters. The bunnies around her property learn to warn the mare that somepony was coming, getting her attention before Pinkie reached her doorstep.
Pinkie's bounce a fraction of what Fluttershy was used to, and she also noticed she wasn't humming anymore.
“Hello Pinkie, I'm sorry about earlier. I had someone ask for some medicine for his pet snake. I hope you understand.”
“No worries, Fluttershy.” Pinkie walked up to the mare and looked over to the bunnies, petting one as it passed between them, stifling a giggle. “I almost forgot about Gummy, but I didn't expect to see a new pony. That means I have to throw another party today!” she exclaimed.
Fluttershy smiled.
“That sounds lovely,” she said quietly. “Everypony love a good party, especially from you, Pinkie.” Fluttershy giggled as a bunny snuggled up against her hoof. “And speaking of Gummy, he is perfectly healthy and just needed a good nights rest with the proper medicine of course.”
“That's great to hear,” Pinkie said. “Where is he now?”
As soon as she asked, the green aligator waddled through the door and chomped on Pinkie's tail. A great big smile plastered across her face.
With that deed taken care of, she put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Who was that stallion that was just here? Do you know why he came to Ponyville?”
“No, um, he only asked for some morphine for his pet snake and I gave it to him.” Fluttershy sank her shoulders a bit with a look of worry on her face. “I'm sorry, I didn't get his name. I didn't ask. This was the first time I saw him. Sorry, Pinkie.”
Pinkie patted her friend on the head. “It's no problem, Fluttershy. Now I will make it my mission today to find out who this new pony is and I'll let you know with an invite to his Welcome Party! Thanks again!”
And just like that, she was gone. Fluttershy glanced at her animals and merely shrugged. She was used to that already.
Down the street and to the left, the stallion walked alone through the alleyway with his tail between his legs. He only wished that encounter with the strange pink earth pony hadn't happened, it would have made his day easy and quiet.
Coming to the end of the block, he could see the house at the end of the boulevard. As a mode of caution, he made his stride to the building with haste. Not a moment too soon, he entered the home and trotted up to his room and shut the door.
He decided to postpone his checklist of necessities for later. All because of that weird pony, going to the market would have to wait. At least he bought the most important item.
And now all he could do is wait.
The bedroom was barren. There weren't any signs of use on the beds, nor any disturbance on the furniture.
Except for the bathroom. It was full of orange prescription bottles. Some empty, some half full. The cost alone was another reason to do it.
He crossed his legs as he sat down and focused his attention to the blank piece of paper on the small desk. There was a pencil there too, unused and waiting for the first words. The pony took a long breath and grabbed it, placing the graphite tip to the top of the page.
For minutes upon minutes, there he sat. There was a faint ambient breeze spilling through the window where the white noise of the town outside could be heard.
Minutes became hours, and before he knew it, the morning turned to afternoon and he was hungry. This was evidenced by the growling of his stomach. The stallion laid the pencil down, took his money pouch, and left the room, without writing a single word. Leaving the hotel entirely, he made his way to a restaurant that serves good food disguised as an average shop. He ordered something simple and waited alone at a booth big enough for four. The shop itself was fairly empty, but that's probably the only thing that went right today.
When the waiter came back with his food, it didn't take more than ten minutes to finish eating, and within that time, the restaurant got a lot more crowded.
He noticed that a few of them were stealing glances at his way, but wasn't sure if they were looking at him specifically. He was about to leave after putting down the exact change for the meal, which was surprisingly good, when all of a sudden the hyper pink pony from earlier jumped out of nowhere and threw confetti in the air.
“Surprise!” she squeaked loudly. “How was the food Mr. Pony? I had the cook add a little bit of my Pinkie flavor and fun with that plate. I hope you liked it!” She settled down across from him on booth chair and leaned in expecting a reaction.
Of course he would respond, but not in the way she wanted. “Um, thanks, I guess. I need to go.”
The stallion paid his check with a generous tip and left. Pinkie stared at his as he left with an observant expression. Once he was out of sight, she looked down at the table where he left his money. He apparently tipped more than was expected, in fact so much so that he paid for twice the price of his meal, leaving a sizable stack of bits just for the waiter. Pinkie thought this was odd and quickly informed the waiter that served him of his great gift, then followed after the stallion through the edge of town.
Pinkie found him walking to the fountain. She caught him flicking a single bit into the water, watching it splash gracefully and fall to the bottom. Pinkie got close enough to watch his expression, but he merely licked his lips and rubbed his nose, not the kind of thing someone making a wish would do, assuming that's why he was here.
He began walking in a random direction, so Pinkie got up and trotted closely behind. He didn't notice at first, but when he began to catch on, his pace quickened again. She wasn't about to let him run away from her again, so she got up right beside him and smiled.
“Hey there, I saw you walking alone and thought you'd like some company,” she said.
“I'm not interested,” was his rushed response.
“No no I'm not here to ask you to be my special somepony, I just want to be your friend and you seem like the perfect pony who looks like he needs somepony to have a good ol' chat with. Do you like Ponyville so far?”
He said nothing and kept walking. Occasional glances around the town ponies and her reflected his apparent suspicion of everyone, Pinkie included.
“Do you want to meet my friends?” Pinkie continued without dwelling on the rude silence. “I have many to choose from. How about Rarity first? She'd love to compliment you on that cool pouch you have as a necklace that you carry you bits in. What about Dashie, hehe sorry, Rainbow Dash? My friends and I often call her by that nickname. She's cool and sports and flying, but you're an earth pony like me, so maybe you could meet my friend Applajack and maybe we can have a fun time at her farm. What do you say?”
Pinkie waited a painfully two minutes before he replied, “No.”
“Aw, why not? The day is still young and I haven't had any fun yet. I still need time to prepare for your party tonight, but we can still make the most out of the time before that.” Pinkie echoes the rest of her plans on deaf ears, because the stallion wasn't really listening. The longer she went on, the more the stress in his head grew.
“I don't want anything,” he said. “No party, no ponies. Can you leave me alone please?”
Pinkie stopped walking along his right, falling behind the trail they were strolling on. Her ears fell and her eyes drooped. That didn't yet dissuade her from giving up. He was just as stubborn as Cranky and would not stop until he forgave her for bothering him.
As she stopped, the stallion kept going, not looking back at the sad face of Pinkie Pie. He was almost back home, but had to go in circles in order to not let the pink pony find out where he lived. HE only recently came back to Ponyville after sixteen years of being away and his childhood home was like the alter of his origins. Much time was spent in his old home, but when he got older, he moved with his mother to help her thriving flower business in Manehattan. It wasn't what he wanted to do in life, but he cared for his mom and didn't want her to fail.
After hearing the news of his father, he couldn't hold back anymore and broke down. He couldn't take it and came back to the place where all of his earliest memories were made. Except now that the sound and the life of those voices in his memories were just a faint echo that started to fade, it was time that he faced the truth.
Shortly after Pinkie left, he entered his home again and laid down to rest. He was tired of walking all day. It was more than he ever walked in the last two months. There were no working lights in the residence, since the entire place was cleaned out and forgotten ever since it was sold years ago. So the only time for light was during waking hours. However, those hours were when he was usually alseep. He never got used to going back to a normal sleep schedule and let the nights turn to days, and let midnight turn to noon.
The pony got no more than fifteen minutes of a quick nap when a knock on the front door stirred him awake. With a grumble and a stumble in his hoof, he made his way to the door was the knock became more frequent.
On the other side was the last pony he wanted to see again.
“Hiya!” Pinkie said happily.
“What are you doing here?” he asked. He knew she followed him home, having noticed her following him all day. There was no escaping that, and he didn't have the energy to reverse it.
“I wanted to apologize for bothering you today. I just wanted you to meet somepony to make it up to you.” Pinkie stepped aside to reveal someone behind her.
“Hello.” The new pony said. She waved and walked up closer with a hoof out.
“She's your neighbor,” Pinkie began. “She says no pony has been in this house for a while since the owner passed away recently. She wanted to meet you.”
The stallion recognized this pony from deep in his memory. She was older, but she was no doubt the girl that lived next door when he was a child. She was cheery then, and looking at the well kept mane and shiny fur coat of purple, she seemed to take of herself after so many years. Though they had never met, he saw her around when he was a shy kid. He new her name back then in passing, but forgot it.
“Are you his son?” the mare said. “Oh my gosh, I'm so glad to meet you. I'm sorry for what happened and I send my condolences. I hope you'll carry on his legacy in this world. My name his Red Jade, I can't believe it's been so long since I saw you. Ten years probably. Ha, I remember the times your mother would play with me and my sister as a filly and your dad fixed our family's roof before that awful rainstorm many years before you took off. He was a great guy. So how is life?”
The stallion watched with increasing disinterest, as his complexion turned from irritated to ashamed. He could feel the weight of what she had said about his family, but to hear it so long after was enough.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” he uttered. “I'm fine for now.” Clearly he ignored her question. The pony shook his head outright and motioned to close the door. “Thank you for stopping by.”
Pinkie and Jade left there dumbfounded at what just happened. The stallion was surely going to hug Pinkie and call her a friend with many laughs and smiles, but that obviously didn't happen. She did find out a little about him second hand, but it was as if Jade was talking to the wrong pony.
“What just happened?” Jade asked her.
“I don't know, I'm the one who usually says that. I thought for sure that was going to work.”
Jade frowned. “I know that's the same pony I grew up with as a filly. Well... I didn't really grow up with him, he's just the colt from next door whose parents were such sweethearts and hard workers. I wonder where he's been all this time. All I saw was his dad who lived here the whole time until he died in April. The newspaper ruled it a suicide.” Red shrugged. “I don't know why, that old stallion was a nice fellow. It's a shame I didn't get to talk to him very often.”
“I'm sorry for his loss,” Pinkie said, staring wide eyed at the front door. “I had no idea it was that bad. Do you think his mom is still around?”
“I don't know, you should ask him.”
“I'll try later. Come on, I promised him a party, we have to make sure it's a good one. A returning pony is even more special to us that a new pony. Ready?”
“Sure.” Red Jade smiled and walked west to Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie Pie.
Behind a window on the second floor, the stallion watched the two leave after talking to each other since leaving them be. There were just too many distractions and delays that were ruining his plans. It's not like he had a deadline, but he wouldn't wait any longer.
The stallion pony went back to his room and entered the bathroom. He took all the empty medicine bottles and swept them into the empty trash bin. He then opened the caps to the rest of the bottles and shoved the multitude of pills into the toilet, then flushed. Apparently the water still worked as he watched the medication slip under the bowl and away forever.
With that task done, he sat down on his bed and leaned back far enough to look at the bare bones of the rotting ceiling. He remembered it used to be baby blue, as old as he was. This sheets of the bed were a little dusty and soggy, but it's not like he had ever used them in the last ten years, or was about to them ever again. The past was done, and all he could do was sigh the pain away.
A tear fell down his face as soon as he thought of his dad. The one pony who cared more for him that his mother did, but didn't have the strength to follow him and his wife to Manehattan. His greatest regret was never letting his son know of his ever decaying state of mind that caused him to stay behind in Ponyville.
Now that the stallion was older and back in the very room where his father gifted him with the money pouch he was wearing, he couldn't hold back a sniffle. His nose got clogged of phlegm from the emotions running through him, and considering he was going down the road his father did, it was likely to be his last. He told his mother before he left that he would go back to help her, but that was a lie. He didn't tell her, and the regret was eat him up harder than ever. So much so that it only further compelled him to complete the mixture before administering the final push.
He looked over at the paper and pencil that was still sitting on the desk. They beckoned a second calling and a begging of closure that he didn't care for anymore. The darkness was already here despite the golden light pouring in through the blinds as sunset approached.
He spent a few minutes finishing up his hygiene and permanent sleeping agent to finally go through with it.
And in the time it took to breathe, he make the necessary injection, and waited.
Before long, he laid his head on the floor, not having enough energy to climb on top of the bed.
Minutes passed like seconds.
His eye fluttered like dust, and his mind wavered eternal.
Sounds faded, and light blinked.
Soon the world was above him, and then suddenly, it was gone.
The heart stopped.
The limbs fell.
The head dropped.
The eyes closed.
No more pain.
His last words.
“I'm sorry, dad. I love you.”
“Pinkie Pie? Who's party is this for?” Twilight Sparkle spoke in the pink pony's ear as many of her friends were rushing around to get the banners and balloons up around the Main Hall of the Castle of Friendship.
“Oh! It's for a new pony in town. But he's not really new, he came back after a long time since he was born and raised in Ponyville, but left to go to Manehattan and now is back for some reason no pony is able to explain to me. So we're trying to make him feel at home again with the added Pinkie welcome!”
“That's wonderful, Pinkie,” Twilight said. “I can't wait to meet a new friend of yours. I can learn a lot from friends of my friends. You never know what they might teach you.”
“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash yelled from directly above them. “So when should he be here, I'm kinda on edge here and haven't had fun yet, Pinkie. It seems you've been busy meeting this new pony that we don't know. What's his name?”
“His name is...” Pinkie's smile vanished as soon as the realization hit her. “OH NO! I didn't ask what his name was, well I did ask, but never told me, and Red Jade who knew him as a kid doesn't remember what his name is.”
“Surely it could be in the housing records at town hall,” Twilight chimed in. “If the long lift of records are anything impressive to marvel at, his name should come up from the address's history. It shouldn't take long.”
“No Twilight, I want him to tell us his name in person at his party,” Pinkie demanded. “All that long research is just going to ruin the fun. We just have to wait and see.”
“And we have to be patient, darling.” Rarity came up strolling with a cart full of cake for the pastries table. “And from what you have told us about him, he seems to be the quiet type. Like Fluttershy here.”
The butter yellow pegasus flinched at the mention of her name, but relaxed her wings. “Um, yes, he seemed nice, but a little shy when he came by my cottage.”
“Why did he go to visit you again, Fluttershy,” Twilight asked.
“He, um, wanted a vial of morphine for his pet snake and he happily gave me more than I asked. It was only two bits for one, but gave me seven bits instead and left.”
Twilight and Rarity found this really odd, scratching their chins in suspicion. “Why would he do that?”
“He even paid the waiter at the Cozy Corral the full price of his meal. I thought it was really nice of him. I didn't see anything wrong with that.”
Rainbow Dash wasn't really interested in why, but when it was she saw him strolling through town a couple of times in strange places early that day. “Now that you think about it, he did seem to act a little bit weird.”
“Do you think we should check on him?” Fluttershy suggested in a small voice.
“I think you're right sugarcube,” Applejack spoke for the first time since walking up to the group. “Pinkie know where he lives, maybe she should bring him over so we can have a party.”
“Good idea!” Pinkie shrieked. “You girls stay here while I get him. He's a little late, but it will only take a minute.”
Pinkie Pie through the castle doors and made her way to the stallion's house. The sun had already set and early evening was just setting in. The nice warm air clashed with the cool breeze to give the incoming stars a blissful welcome. There was something else that needed a welcome, and she was headed there now.
Pinkie arrived at the stallions doorstep and knock three times. She repeated the action several times, but there was no immediate response. Usually she would come back later, but it was time for a party that she set up and the guest of honor was not there yet. It wouldn't be a party without the new stallion to join them.
It was considered breaking and entering when she used her Pinkie powers of popping out of nowhere to get inside pony's houses and surprising them. She'd make an exception for him.
She appeared inside, just outside the room on the other end of the hall on the second floor. The bedroom door was slightly cracked open, but there were no lights coming from within. There were no lights coming from anywhere around the house, which spooked her a little bit, but she leaned to laugh the spooks away.
She found herself at the foot of what she assumed was the stallion's private bedroom. She opened it carefully, making sure not to startle him.
Her eyes fell upon the body of the Stallion, face down on the floor, dead.
Pinkie gasped, then collapsed to her hooves and cried.
Author's Note
Sad story, about suicide. No glorification here, no salvation either. Just another day.