Dash Looks Like A Lady

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Chapter 1

Looking out of the window of a cloud house was difficult.

Not the act in and of itself, of course. All one had to do was turn their head–or even their entire body if they were so inclined–towards said window and make sure that their eyes were open. Checking how high the window was placed was also helpful. All in all, the act by itself was quite easy and required no additional exertion on the part of the looker. It was when somepony added the caveat of wanting to view ponies on the ground that the difficulty really started to shine through. That, of course, was the situation in which Rainbow Dash found herself today and, if she could be frank, it was quite irritating.

The perturbed pegasus stared with contempt at the ground below once she'd bothered to lean out her window enough to do so. She normally didn't dislike the ground as much as her current expression and mood indicated. In fact, even though she was a very air-oriented pony, she tended to hold the ground with very high regard most of the time. The ground was where most of her friends lived, after all. Oddly enough, the fact that her friends were on the ground was the main driving point behind the disdain that she currently held for it.

A knock on her bedroom door jolted Dash out of her frustrated purveyance. She pulled her head away from the window, pausing for only the briefest of moments to ponder how odd it was that one could knock on a cloud before deciding that it was better not to think about some things too much. Blue wings, powerful despite not really feeling so at the moment, propelled the pegasus doorward.

"Who is it?" Dash demanded.

"Dashie," a kind yet insistent voice answered. "You know you shouldn't speak to your mother like that."

Dash rolled her eyes slightly. It was entirely like her mother to pop in unannounced. She just didn't expect her to be doing so right at this moment. At the same time, she was used to her mom showing up when she didn't expect her, so in a way she kind of did expect it.

Dash decided not to dwell on it any further. Her head was already starting to hurt. Instead, she opted to simply open the door. She made sure to put on a small, fake smile before she did so. Her mom would be insufferable if she had even the slightest inkling that something was wrong.

"Hey mom," Dash said. Had there been an award for "Most Convincing Performance While Pretending To Be Happy," Dash was positive she would have beaten all her competition handily. Not too subtle, not too over-the-top. It was a moment of pure acting brilliance, one the lines of which ponykind would never see again.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" Windy Whistles asked.

Clearly the scoundrel had witnessed many a performance in her day.

"Ugh..." Dash groaned, stepping aside to allow Windy passage. "Nothing's wrong, Mom."

"Is that so?" Windy asked, briefly tut-tutting over the general disheveled state of her daughter's room as she trotted towards the bed. "Because from the things I've heard, that's simply not the case."

"What things?" Dash asked. She narrowed her eyes. Her mom was probably trying to trick her. She was probably expecting her to hear this accusation and immediately crack like an egg. Little did she know that Dash had grown quite a bit since the last time that had worked.

"Darn," Windy said, having herself a seat on the bed. "I'd hoped that would work like it did when you accidentally broke my vase last month."

"I've grown since then," Dash stated simply.

"Have you grown too much to sit and talk with your mom?" Windy asked, patting the space next to her on the bed. Dash kept her tough act up for a few moments longer before finally acquiescing and going to sit next to her mom. She felt her mom's wing reach out and wrap around her back, gently suggesting with a slight pull that she cuddle up close. Despite the clear hit she would take to her bravado by doing so, Dash allowed the wing to pull her nice and close against Windy's warm body. It took a fair amount of willpower not to rest her head on Windy's shoulder. With the mood she was in, she needed all the comfort that could be afforded to her, but to do that would very clearly give away the fact that something was wrong, and she wasn't quite ready to relent on that.

"Come on, Dashie-Poo," Windy cooed. "What's bothering you?"

"The fact that you just called me Dashie-Poo, for one," Dash replied.

"Point taken," Windy said, chuckling lightly. "But come on now. It's obvious something is wrong. It's not like you to completely avoid your friends for days."

"You know about that?" Dash said, nearly sitting up from her comfortable embrace. She quickly cleared her throat, then attempted to play it cool. "I mean...why would you think that? Who told you that?"

"I dropped by Ponyville today to pick up some fresh produce from the market," Windy told her, gently drumming on Dash's belly with her wingtips. "And your friend Twilight said you hadn't been around in days."

"Least she noticed that," Dash grumbled quietly.

"Ah, so it's something with her," Windy said knowingly.

"I didn't say that!" Dash was quick to retort.

"I heard what you said," Windy said with a grin. "You didn't win the Loudest Mumble Award because you're so quiet, you know." An annoyed Dash tried to wriggle away from the comfort of her mom's wing, but a foreleg quickly joined it, intensifying the maternal cuddles. "Come on, Dashie. You can talk to me about anything."

Dash let out a sigh. No matter how old she got, no matter how much of a pain her mother could be, she still loved her and felt comfortable around her. She felt almost like a little filly again as Windy held her close, feeling small even though they were the same size now. She looked over and met her mother’s concerned gaze, and the love and concern easily broke through what little resistance she had left.

"Mom?" Dash asked, her voice a bit quieter now. "Am I pretty?"

"Of course!" Windy exclaimed without a moment's hesitation. "Why, you're the prettiest mare in the world!"

The stare Dash gave her mom was nearly flat enough to set their conversation into a whole new key signature.

"Yeah," Dash said. "Remind me not to ask you those kinds of questions."

"Oh come on, Rainbow Dash," Windy said with a giggle. "Maybe I'm exaggerating just the tiniest bit, but I really mean it."

"Uh huh," Dash muttered. Her grumpiness was met with a little squeeze from Windy's wing.

"What made you even ask that anyway?" Windy asked. "You normally don't even care about that kind of thing. You would barely even let me dress you up when you were a filly."

"Yeah..." Dash replied, letting out a sigh and looking away. "And that sure is biting me in the flank now, isn't it?"

"How so?" Windy asked. Her usual optimism was starting to subside in the face of the very real disappointment her daughter was experiencing, no matter how little she understood it.

"Just look at what happened with Applejack!" Dash said with a huff.

"Come on, Dashie," Windy said, a bit frustrated with herself that she hadn't figured that to be part of it. "You two had a nice little relationship, but not everything lasts forever. And you two are still wonderful friends, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Dash replied. "But it's not the same. She was the one who said things weren't working out and she wanted to go back to just being friends, not me. And now look at her. She's dating Rarity! And she's totally pretty! Obviously she was looking for a prettier marefriend."

"Don't be ridiculous, Dashie!" Windy insisted. "Just because things didn't work out with you two doesn't mean..."

"And that's not even all!" Dash interjected. "I've been trying to get Twilight's attention for weeks! I've been flirting with her constantly, doing everything but grabbing her and telling her exactly what I want to do with her. And she doesn't respond at all! I might as well be flirting with a really hot wall." The frustrated pegasus let out a groan, slumping against her mom.

"Dashie, I really think you're overreacting..." Windy tried to interrupt. Dash's momentum, however, was just too great.

"And I could have sworn I heard about her having a thing for Fluttershy at one point, and she’s totally pretty!" Dash lamented. "I'm not pretty enough for them. I know it. Like, I'm totally awesome and cool in every other way, but being pretty and girly just ain't one of them. And when all the mares I like are into girly mares, that totally blows."
The prismatic pegasus groaned loudly. "Maybe I should just start dressing in stupid frilly dresses and wearing makeup and junk. Maybe then ponies will notice me."

Windy let out a deep sigh, the kind of sigh reserved for parents whose adult Wonderbolt daughter was going through a mildly silly crisis. Rainbow Dash wasn't always the type to overreact to things, but when she did, the extent to which she did so was fascinating. There was a reason that she was voted Best Overreactor, and it wasn't just because the judges were biased and the number of entries was severely lacking.

"Rainbow Dash," Windy said, releasing her grip on her daughter so she could move back and get a good look in her eyes. "Don't get me wrong; you're definitely a lovely mare. At the same time, you should realize that you don't have to worry about this kind of thing. You don't have to be like the other mares who worry so much about their appearance. You are Rainbow Dash, dear. You're awesome! If some mares seem more interested in others...well, put simply, they're missing out. You'll find a mare that likes you for you, and you'll do it without having to change yourself."

Silence filled the room for a good ten seconds as Dash stared into the gentle eyes of her mom. Finally, the little frown on her face faded, replaced with a weak smile.

"Thanks, Mom," Dash said, renewing the recently-broken hug.

"Any time, dear," Windy replied, drawing her close and ruffling her mane with a hoof. "Now get out there and stop worrying your friends, alright?"

"Heh...you got it," Dash said. She gave her mom another little squeeze before letting go. Watching Windy depart, she felt renewed vigor course through her body. Maybe Applejack did dump her and end up going out with what many around her thought of as the embodiment of beauty. Maybe Twilight, the sweet and kind Twilight whose heart she wanted so badly to win, did completely ignore her advances while having made her interest in a classic beauty and former fashion model very clear in the past. Maybe those two things were endlessly, endlessly frustrating. But at the same time, her mom was right. She was awesome, and she could find somepony that liked her for her.

Rainbow Dash flew out of her house, full of vim and vigor and ready to take on anything. The world was her oyster, and she was ready to crack it. Or whatever one normally did with oysters. She wasn't big on seafood. Fluttershy would probably keep one as a pet. The world was Dash's oyster, and she was ready to keep it as a pet.

As Dash approached the ground, she felt her chest fill with pride. She knew how fantastic she was, and nothing was going to change that. Or at least that was how she felt before setting her eyes on Twilight Sparkle.

There Twilight was, sitting on a park bench, reading a novel. Dash's attention to detail while flying normally would have allowed her to notice what book it was that she was reading, but that would have meant taking her attention off of Twilight herself, and that wasn't exactly what she wanted at the moment. Exactly what she wanted at the moment was Twilight.

Dash took a deep breath before making her approach. Sure, Twilight had ignored all previous flirting attempts in the past, but that was in the past. That was when Dash's confidence was already partially shot from the goings-on with Applejack. Now that Dash had full confidence in herself, there was no chance that Twilight could spurn her attempts.

"Hey Twilight!" Dash called out as she approached her from behind. She thanked Celestia for the day's warm weather, as it would pay perfectly into a flirty line that she had in store for the alicorn. It was a little more direct them her usual fare, but maybe it couldn't hurt to be more direct than usual. "Is it hot out here, or is it just..."

The next word, quite clearly the most integral one in the pickup line she'd nearly finished, got caught in her throat as she finally caught sight of just what Twilight was reading. It was entirely unlike Twilight to read a book on fashion, so much so that it almost felt like the fact that she was doing so was set up specifically for this situation. Pictures of stunning mares, manes impeccably styled and dressed in extravagant gowns, adorned the pages of the book, and there Twilight was, seemingly quite engaged in all of it.

Dash's confidence was blown away in an instant. She barely even noticed as Twilight turned to her.

"Oh, hi Rainbow!" Twilight said with a smile. "Yeah, it's pretty hot out, but I'm sure we'll all be wishing for this weather again in December. How are you?"

Dash's eyes rested on the book in Twilight's possession. That was clearly the solution. If she was to be pretty enough to gain Twilight's attention, then she knew what she needed to do.

"Not much," Dash answered hurriedly, earning an inquisitive raise of a single eyebrow from Twilight. "Say, is it okay if I go use your library for a bit?"

"You want to use the library?" Twilight asked. "There isn't even a new Daring Do book out for a good few months."

"I know!" Dash replied."But I want to...expand my horizons!"

Twilight's expression brightened visibly, but Dash was so focused that she barely noticed.

"Well of course you can!" Twilight responded. "I could come with in a few minutes if you.."

"Great thanks!" Dash shouted. Before Twilight could finish her sentence, Dash was gone.

"Huh..." Twilight said, then shrugged it off. She only had a moment to glance back at the book before she was interrupted once more.

"Twilight, darling!" Rarity exclaimed as she approached. "Thank you ever so much for keeping an eye on my book for me!"

"Happy to help!" Twilight responded, smiling warmly at her friend as she returned the book to its rightful owner. "You know how I am with books and all."

~~~~~~~~~~

Dash felt like she didn't belong as she walked the halls of Twilight's library. It had been ages since she learned her lesson about how reading didn't necessarily make one an egghead and how being an egghead wasn't even necessarily a bad thing in the first place. Still, being in a place so utterly saturated with books just felt alien to her. She would have to spend a whole lot of time at the gym later to counteract the extreme levels of studiousness that she was experiencing here. Of course, that would have to wait until she was done with the things she'd come here for.

Dash found herself wishing that she'd paid even the slightest bit of attention to all of Twilight's lessons on the organization behind the shelves of the library. She'd honestly tried to pay attention once, but it was so boring, and she had quickly found herself distracted by the way that Twilight's bangs bounced cutely each time her head bobbed. She found herself cursing those cute little bangs as she found herself completely lost in the endless labyrinthine halls of the library. She remembered Twilight saying something about a Dewey Decimal System in that discussion, but with how little she remembered about it, it might as well have been called the Don't-We Decimal System.

"Heh...Don't-We Decimal System," Dash chuckled to nopony in particular as she continued her search. The halls were beginning to get darker and creepier. A less brave pony would have likely been shaking like a leaf at the general spookiness of the situation, but Dash was a brave mare, and her trembling was simply sympathy trembling for the benefit of others in case anypony else happened to be wandering by. If they saw a brave pony like Dash pretending to be scared, they'd surely feel better about themselves. Yes, that was the ticket.

If Dash could be honest with herself, she was getting to the point where she was nearly ready to give up on her plan. The section of the library that she had found herself in felt a little too forboding to contain the books on fashion and style that she was looking for. To be fair, though, she knew very little about library organization. Maybe books on fashion and style were unpopular enough that they ended up in a rarely-visited area like this. That explanation made perfect sense to Dash. She certainly wouldn't have been looking for something so boring if she didn't want to impress Twilight.

"I have what you seek..."

Dash definitely didn't shriek. She was simply testing her vocal cords at a time that coincided with an event that would have scared more timid ponies.

"Who said that?" Dash asked, her voice wavering in pitch for the sole purpose of throwing this mystery voice off of her trail and not out of nervousness.

"I have what you seek..." the voice repeated. "Everything you could ever want is within my pages. Just open me and I'll make your dreams come true."

Dash was not a stupid pony. She knew a creepy and dangerous voice when she heard it. Her totally-not-fear quickly gave way to annoyed bravado as she tried to follow the sound of the breathy voice that was still calling out to her. She had to locate the source so she wouldn't end up grabbing the evil book it likely belonged to by mistake. Keen ears sought out the voice, quickly leading the intrepid pegasus to a lone bookshelf.

"I have what you seek..." the voice repeated once more. Dash's eyes zoomed straight to its location, and she couldn't help but shake her head as they rested on the book that was certainly the source of it. The book's binding was tattered and worn, but she could still make out the blood-red text against the black background.

"Dark Desires and Fearful Fulfillments," Dash read, before letting out a derisive scoff. "Seriously? You think I'm gonna fall for that? I wasn't born yesterday, you know."

"I have what you seek..." the voice repeated a final time.

"Yeah yeah, not happening," Dash said, making a rude gesture with a wing towards the book. All the signs there pointed to danger, and there was no way that Dash was going to fall for something so blatantly troublesome. She was far more savvy than that.

"Oh hey!" Dash exclaimed as her eyes wandered to the book next to the evil one. This one had a pink cover, and the words in the binding were written in a flowery purple font. "Pony Prettification: A Proper Mare's Guide to Landing the Pony of Your Dreams."

Dash couldn't believe her luck. After all of that searching, nearly giving up, and having an evil book try to tempt her, she had finally found exactly what she was looking for. Without a moment's hesitation, she scooped the book up into her hooves.

"Rainbow Dash: one. Don't-We Decimal System: zero!" Dash stated gleefully as she clutched the book close to her chest. "And heck, while we're at it, Evil Book: zero too! Hah!"

With that, Dash left the shelf, tracing her steps back to find her way out of the library. Part of her thought she heard a quiet, yet sinister laugh as she was leaving, but she was probably imagining it..

Chapter 2

Pinkie Pie had spent the last five minutes gobbling like a turkey.

If anypony else had been doing this, it would have likely been seen as incredibly strange. For Pinkie, however, this was borderline normal. That didn't stop Twilight from regretting the very moment that she informed Pinkie of the term for bowling three strikes in a row.

"Heh...alright, Pinkie," Applejack said, patting her friend and possible distant cousin on the shoulder. "I think we all get it by now. You can probably stop." Her right eye twitched slightly as she spoke. Patience was a virtue, particularly with Pinkie, but hers was starting to run thin. The breaking point was not far off by any means.

"Probably!" Pinkie agreed. "But nooooot definitely!" She gave Applejack a wink before letting out the loudest call of them all. A glare from her friends made her giggle awkwardly. "Okay, maybe that can be the last one."

"Good," Rarity said. "Because that last one nearly interfered with Fluttershy's first strike."

"Oh no, it's alright..." Fluttershy responded. "It wasn't interfering with me, honest." The ball she had thrown just before that call was still rolling down the lane, so gently and gracefully that if one wasn't looking closely, they might have thought it was standing still.

"Nice one, Fluttershy!" Starlight said, giving her a warm smile. "It hasn't even touched one of the bumpers yet!" The group watched as Fluttershy's ball continued to roll, tapping the front pin with a tiny tink. The pin wobbled to and fro before eventually electing to topple over, taking down each pin in its wake until none were left standing. A tiny cheer escaped Fluttershy's lips,echoed by a much louder one from her friends.

"Great job, Fluttershy!" Applejack shouted. "We knew you could do it eventually!"

"Oh...thank you, everypony," Fluttershy said, a light blush coloring her cheeks. "I wish Rainbow Dash was here to see it though."

"Where is Dashie anyway?" Pinkie asked as she picked up her ball. "It's not like her to be late!"

The rest of the party gave Pinkie a look.

"Well not for bowling!" Pinkie clarified.

"It is a little odd when you put it that way," Twilight had to concur. "But I'm sure she'll be along any minute now."

The six friends all stopped what they were doing and turned towards the entrance. It was no secret that whenever somepony said another pony would be around "any minute now," they were bound to show up right then. Sure enough, not five seconds had passed before the door opened and the very pegasus they were waiting for made her entrance.

"Gosh," Pinkie said as she wound up to hurl her ball down the lane. "Why didn't somepony say that earlier?"

Nopony answered. They weren't trying to be rude, of course. They were simply distracted. Rainbow Dash tended to be a distraction when she entered a room. That was exactly the way she wanted it, after all. It was probably safe to say, however, that she didn't tend to cause a distraction in this particular manner. There were no stupendous tricks, outlandish aerial displays, or cacophonies of crashes accompanying this entrance. All they saw was a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, a familiar cutie mark, and a little smattering of makeup.

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity exclaimed, first to break the silence. "You're wearing makeup! Did you lose a bet? And if so, why didn't I think of such a wager?"

"Heh...it's just a little something," Dash replied.

"You even used a proper foundation!" Rarity bubbled, marveling over her dear friend. "Why, the eye shadow complements your coat magnificently! And the lipstick! Enough to say 'come hither' without looking like a harlot! I must say I'm impressed!"

"Sheesh, what brought this on?" Applejack asked, moving in to get a closer look. The others all did the same, forgetting entirely about their game as they jockeyed for position to get a good look at their friend.

"Oh, I just thought it would be nice," Dash replied, grinning slightly. "Do you really like it?" She looked between her friends as they murmured sounds of approval. Everypony wore a smile as they gushed. Everypony except Twilight. The main pony she was looking to impress. Twilight simply stood behind the group, staring silently at Dash, her expression unreadable. Dash gave her a brief puzzled look before Pinkie grabbed her hoof.

"Come on, Dashie!" Pinkie said excitedly. "We can't just look at you all day! It's your turn to bowl!"

"It is?" Dash asked, raising a brow in confusion as she was led to the alley. "But you're already in the middle of a game. How could it be my turn?"

"Oh, that's easy," Pinkie said. "Starlight studied your style and technique in our other games and has been using magic to perfectly emulate it! You're winning, by the way!"

"Heh...all in a day's work," Starlight offered, an awkward smile crossing her face.

"That's...both cool and weird," Dash said as she approached the alley. She reached for one of the balls in the return, then hesitated. The ball she was reaching for was one of the heaviest in the return. This was her typical style, especially when Applejack was there and rife for the one-upping. She couldn't really match the raw physical strength of the earth pony, but it was nice to try. However, something was stopping her this time. It just felt weird to be done up in fancy makeup and lift a giant, heavy bowling ball. She couldn't put her hoof on why she suddenly felt that way, but she also couldn't put her hoof on the ball. She instead reached past the heavy ball and settled for one of the lightest balls in the return. Something about it called out to her. She wasn't quite sure whether it was the lower weight or the cute pink chiffon swirls that adorned it, nor was she sure why either should have appealed to her on the first place.

"Ouh! Nice ball, Dashie!" Pinkie said. "I didn't know you liked ones like that!"

"Heh, yeah," Applejack agreed, the slightest of grins on her face. "Figured you'd go for the heavy one like usual."

Dash hesitated again. Why wasn't she going for the heavy one again? As she pondered this, she noticed Applejack getting Rarity's ball for her. Rarity was up next, and as was her way, Applejack was more than happy to retrieve her ball for her. Rarity's ball was actually quite similar to the one Dash had chosen, both in weight and coloration. The way Rarity demurely took the ball from Applejack's grasp stuck out to Dash, as did the dreamy little smile that Applejack gave her. That was the kind of suave femininity that could wrap a pony around one's hoof. Applejack was a slave to Rarity's charm, elegance, and grace. Maybe Dash could have kept Applejack if she held even an ounce of those ideals. And, she thought as she noticed Twilight glance in her direction, maybe she could win Twilight over with those very same features.

Dash opted to ignore Applejack and Pinkie's playful remarks towards her as she made her approach. Just as she brought the ball back, concern struck her once more. Twilight clearly preferred her potential special someponies to be pretty and demure. What exactly was demure about winning a game of bowling? Surely Twilight wouldn't be impressed and attracted to somepony who showed off their athletic prowess if pretty and demure was her preferred type.

For the briefest of moments as she tossed her bowling ball with far too much of a curve, something felt utterly wrong to Rainbow Dash. Losing, especially on purpose, was just not something that she did. Then again, sometimes other things took priority over winning.

"Whoa..." Starlight mused as a she watched Dash's ball careen into the gutter. "That is not how I expected that to happen. It's contrary to my data. Maybe I need to upgrade it?"

Dash's ears folded back slightly as she heard Applejack's quiet chuckling. She knew that chuckling well. Any time Applejack happened to luck out and do better than her at a sport, she gave that very same chuckle. The chuckle that said, "I don't want to brag but I'm certainly in the position to do so." It bothered her slightly, but she supposed there were worse things than potentially losing to Applejack at bowling. And, as she looked towards Twilight once more, she figured that there were also far better things.

"Ouh!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Do you want bumpers like Fluttershy has?"

"Hah!" Applejack laughed. "There's no way Rainbow Dash is gonna want–"

"That could help," Dash responded. All the pieces added up perfectly. Twilight had a crush on Fluttershy a while back. Fluttershy was pretty and meek, therefore Twilight liked ponies who were pretty and meek. Dash was already starting to get the pretty part down. Fluttershy used bumpers to bowl because she was meek. Therefore, if Dash used bumpers, Twilight would have a crush on her. It made perfect sense.

"What?!" Applejack exclaimed. "You've gotta be kidding me! You never use bumpers! There something wrong with you?"

"Well...now I do!" Dash insisted. The instinct to defend herself was building up inside of her, but it faded just as quickly as it appeared. Applejack was being a brute and bullying her. She couldn't sink to Applejack's level. Doing so would be terribly unladylike, and she needed to be ladylike right now.

"I'll choose to ignore that, AJ," Dash said as she picked her ball back up from the return.

"Okay, now I know something's wrong with you," Applejack shot back. "Since when do we not get into arguments?"

"Now now, dear," Rarity interjected, placing a calming hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "If Rainbow Dash does not wish to argue, then she doesn't have to. Personally I think that's a good choice."

"Hmph," Applejack huffed as she relaxed back into a chair.

"I could argue with you if you want, Applejack!" Pinkie offered.

"It ain't the same," the frustrated farmer muttered, crossing her forelegs and pouting ever so slightly.

Dash lined up her next throw, trying to do so as feebly as she had the one before. She let the ball go, curving it similarly to the first one and watching it glide down the lane. The ball bounced once off of each bumper before colliding with the pins, taking out the back left corner but nothing more. Fluttershy had gotten a strike and Dash hadn't even managed a spare.

"Well...it was a good try, Dash," Starlight offered, doing her best to hide her confusion at her friend's sudden decrease in athletic acumen.

"Oh well," Dash said with a smirk and a shrug. "Can't win them all."

The sound of Applejack's drink falling from her hoof was loud enough to even permeate Pinkie's repeated efforts to argue with her. Dash, however, did not seem to notice it in the slightest. Now that she was free from her athletic obligations until the next frame, she was free to spend time with the object of her desires. Twilight had been sitting in the same seat since Dash had arrived, and the seat next to her was empty and just begging for Dash's butt. As Dash approached, adding a slight saunter to her step, she hoped that the latter of those descriptions of the chair would also apply to Twilight.

Dash couldn't help but notice an odd, almost deer-in-the-headlights look from Twilight as she reached her table. She hoped that this was a good sign as she had herself a seat next to the alicorn.

"That was very mature of you."

Dash's ear perked towards Twilight. Her statement was so quiet that she only just barely managed to hear it. Twilight wasn't normally the loudest of ponies–save for when she was employing the use of voice amplifying spells–but this was Fluttershy degrees of quiet.

"Huh?" Dash asked. "What was very mature of me?"

"Not getting into an argument with Applejack just then," Twilight told her. "And you're taking a potential loss very well. I'm proud of you."

Dash's heart swelled with pride. It wasn't quite the admission of love that she'd have liked, but it was great to hear nonetheless.

"Aw, thanks Twilight," Dash said. She even managed to flutter her eyelashes, hoping to charm the target of her affection. For this carefully-planned move to have an effect, however, would have required Twilight to be making eye contact. As it turned out, Twilight's eyes were instead focused squarely on Dash's lap. Dash, for her part, was stunned. Twilight was moving a little faster than she had anticipated.

"What are you doing?" Twilight asked.

Dash raised a brow. She didn't realize that she was doing anything, other than sitting with Twilight. Hopefully Twilight wasn't questioning that particular behavior. The last thing she wanted was to feel unwanted. As she followed Twilight's eyes back down to her lap, things became clearer. Dash wasn't quite sure when her tail had ended up in her lap, but there it was, looking like a prismatic blanket of sorts. And there was one of her hooves, carefully and lovingly stroking it.

Dash hadn't even noticed herself beginning to do this, and her mind began trying to search for an answer. Luckily, as well as unexpectedly, the answer came quick as a whip.

"Just brushing my tail out," Dash said simply. "I have to make sure it looks good, after all."

Dash didn't even have to pretend that this answer was real, because this answer was real. Nothing about it seemed forced or fabricated. Obviously she was brushing her tail out to look pretty and presentable for Twilight, because that was absolutely what both of them wanted.

"Oh," Twilight responded. She looked away for a moment, one hoof coming up and twirling the side of her mane. "Well...it does look good."

Dash's heart threatened to burst with pride right there on the spot. Thankfully, it chose to instead keep beating as normal, albeit at a slightly faster pace.

"Thanks," Dash said. A little giggle involuntarily escaped her lips, but she was quite alright with it having done so. A cute little giggle would certainly show off her femininity and endear her to Twilight that much more. Everything was going according to plan.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dash's first stop upon arriving home was her room. Actually, that was a lie. Her first stop was the bathroom, as the one at the bowling alley was too unsavory for her. But after that, her first stop was her room.

Dash stopped to look at herself in the mirror as she headed towards her bed. The mirror was never a very common stop for her before. She'd often stop just long enough to catch a quick look at herself and make sure she wasn't a complete mess, but that was it. This stop at the mirror was much different. Time was spent making sure her makeup was still looking good. Nothing had happened that could really ruin it, but it was best to make sure anyway.

"Don't forget your mane..."

Dash didn't even bat an eye at the voice emanating from the open book's general vicinity. It had certainly startled her the first time she heard it, back when she first got the book home and had finished reading a bit of it. It didn't take long for her to decide that it wasn't worth being worried about though. After all, it seemed to have her best intentions in mind. It was the voice that had suggested the makeup, and that had certainly seemed to impress Twilight, so how could it possibly be bad?

"Right, my mane," Dash responded, glancing up at it. "How should I style it?"

"Beautifully, dear," the voice replied.

"Uh, yeah, I know that," Dash said with a bit of a huff.

"A lady does not talk back," the voice told her. As it did, the book began to glow a faint red. Dash's attention was instantly drawn to it, and her eyes soon took on the range color.

"They don't?" Dash asked quietly.

"They do not," the voice said. "And you wish to be the essence of femininity for Twilight, don't you?" The glow of the book became brighter, and so too did the glow in Dash's eyes. "A lady apologizes for her mistakes."

"Sorry..." Dash said, the usual fire in her voice gone.

"Good girl," the voice said. "You'll be the perfect model of femininity yet. Now, let's fix our mane and choose some nice accessories for when you see Twilight again tomorrow. You will be the prettiest mare in all of Equestria." The glow faded from both the book and Dash, leaving the mare smiling lightly.

"Totally," Dash replied.

"A lady does not use common words like that," the voice said, casting its glow in Dash's eyes once more.

"Of course not..." Dash said softly. "I'm sorry."

A low, quiet cackling filled the room as the glow faded. Had Dash approached the book, she might have noticed that the page or was open to was illustrated with a very accurate picture of her. This picture had appeared the night before as a simple outline. Dash hadn't questioned it, seeing no reason to do so. Had she noticed the outline begin to fill with color down towards the hooves just now, though, it might have raised some questions. As it stood, though, she noticed nothing of the sort. There was mane styling to be done, after all.

Chapter 3

"I'm telling y'all, there's something wrong with her."

Applejack wasn't normally a worrier. That role was usually attributed more to Fluttershy or Twilight, or even Rarity. In fact, of the group, the only one less likely to earn the title of worrier was Pinkie Pie, and even she had her moments. And yet here Applejack was, trying to talk what she believed was sense into her friends. She figured that this was how Twilight must have felt during the early stages of preparation for Shining Armor and Cadance's wedding as she stared around the table at her friends' nonchalant expressions.

"I still don't really get what the problem is," Spike said as he licked the last remaining bits of strawberry icing from his clawtips.

"That's because you weren't there," Applejack said, doing her best to keep the frustration out of her tone. She already had one friend who was out of her mind. She didn't need to have a friend who was just plain angry with her.

"That may be," Rarity said, patting Spike on the shoulder. "But dear, the rest of us were there, and we all seem to share the same sentiment as Spike." The others offered nods of agreement.

"W-well..." Applejack stammered, looking around the table at her friends. "Maybe it's just cause I've spent the most time around her!"

"I've known her since before either of us knew the rest of you," Fluttershy pointed out, earning herself a pat on the back from Pinkie for her boldness.

"And you're telling me the way she was acting didn't seem strange to you?" Applejack said. The slightly-raised volume of her voice caused Fluttershy to shrink back, and Rarity refused to stop glaring at Applejack until she offered a meek "sorry."

"I don't think any of us are denying that it was strange," Starlight offered. "Because it definitely was. We're just saying that it wasn't so strange that we think something's wrong with her."

"Starlight's right, darling," Rarity said, resting a hoof on one of Applejack's. "I understand your concern, and it's refreshing to see. In this particular case, though, I think it's unnecessary. Sweet, but unnecessary."

"As sweet as sugar!" Pinkie added. "Ouh, or sugar coated in sugar! With a liiiiiittle dab of sugar on the side! And drizzled in syrup..." The baker began to drool just thinking about it.

"That...doesn't sound appetizing at all," Rarity admitted. "But as far as sweet goes, fairly accurate." She leaned in and gave Applejack's cheek a nuzzle. Applejack accepted the nuzzle, but it did nothing to remove the scowl from her face.

"Well, y'all can think it's unnecessary till the cows come home," Applejack stated, stealing a move from Rarity's repertoire and turning her nose up. "I know that something has to be wrong with her. Why else would she just suddenly show up wearing makeup?"

All eyes, save for Applejack's, immediately turned in the direction of the only one who hadn't said anything since the conversation had turned to the topic of Rainbow Dash. To say that Dash's interest in Twilight was obvious was a vast understatement. The only thing Dash could have possibly done to make it more obvious was directly state it to her while a chorus of other ponies repeated every word of her admission in four-part harmony. For Twilight's part, she seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the others were staring, having found something particularly interesting to look at in her lunch.

"Twilight?" Starlight said, giving her friend a tap on the shoulder that appeared to finally clue her in to the fact that a conversation was going on. "What do you think?"

"About what?" Twilight asked. As soon as she noticed all the attention on her, she let out an embarrassed sigh. "I'm so sorry, everypony. I was distracted."

"It's alright, Twilight," Fluttershy told her, the others nodding in agreement. "Is something on your mind?"

"Sort of," Twilight admitted, before making a quick attempt to change the subject. "But we can talk about that later. You had asked me a question, after all."

"Twilight, if something's bothering you..." Spike began. Unfortunately, he stood no chance of finishing that sentence as Applejack jumped in.

"Do you think it's weird that Rainbow Dash was wearing makeup the other day?" Applejack asked.

The question seemed to fluster Twilight more than any of her company would have expected. The strange expression that briefly adorned her face was mildly concerning, and the slight choking sound that escaped her lips was a bit more so. Then, as quickly as the signs had appeared, they vanished, replaced with a calm demeanor.

"It was strange," Twilight admitted.

"A-ha!" Applejack exclaimed. The force of her shout and the hoof banging on the table that accompanying it nearly caused Spike to fall off of his chair. "See? Of course Twi agrees with me! There's something wrong with her!"

"Oh...was that the question?" Twilight asked sheepishly. "In that case...I do think her behavior is strange, but I don't think there's anything wrong with her. In fact..."

Whatever Twilight intended to say never found its way out of her mind, for that was the exact moment that Rainbow Dash arrived on the scene. Her makeup today was slightly less pronounced than it had been at the bowling alley, what with the lack of lipstick and the blue eye shadow not being as noticeable as the pale orange she'd gone with earlier. What she lacked in those departments, though, she more than made up for elsewhere. For one, there seemed to be some mascara applied to her eyelashes, if their extra length and volume was any indication. Her mane, usually a little unkempt from the high velocity at which she lived her life, was now neatly styled, curled gently at the tips and the sides cascading down her shoulders. What might have been the most eye-catching of all, though, was the adorable icing on the cake: a set of big pink bows on the back of her mane and around the dock of her tail.

"Omigosh!" Pinkie bubbled as Dash approached. "Dashie! You look so cute! I could just eat you up! I mean I won't because I just finished brunch, but still!"

A hush fell over the rest of the group. Given that the group had already been hushed, to become even quieter was a considerable feat, one which they managed to achieve with flying colors. Pinkie had just uttered what was probably the second-worst four-letter C-word she could have possibly said to Dash. Pinkie's jocular nature often provided her with a bit of leeway around Dash, but this was a transgression of epic proportions. The survivors of this incident, if any, would be left with a story they could tell their grandfoals.

"Really?" Dash asked. The tiniest blush colored her cheeks. "That's really nice of you to say. Thank you, sweetie."

Applejack flailed her hooves wildly, gesturing with gusto at Dash but unable to get words out.

"Aaaare you okay, AJ?" Starlight asked.

"Me?" Applejack responded, eyes wide and hoof movements only barely contained. "It's her who ain't fine!"

"What?" Dash asked, looking at her friend in confusion. "What's wrong with me? I'm sorry if I did anything to bother you."

"Did you hear that?!" Applejack shouted. "Since when does Dash just up and apologize like that?"

"Did I do something wrong?" Dash asked, ears drooping. She walked over and placed a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "I wouldn't want to hurt a friend, so even though I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, I'm sorry, and I hope we can get through this."

"Does anypony else see a problem here?!" Applejack exclaimed.

"I think it's sweet that Dashie is being more open with her feelings," Rarity said. Her comment was met with approving nods from Fluttershy and Pinkie. Applejack turned her attention to Starlight, whose expression could be best described as a mix between bemused and confused.

"Spike?" Applejack asked, searching desperately for somepony who would take her side. As it turned out, she was searching in the wrong place. Based on his dreamy smile, the endless gaze in Dash's direction, and the little hearts floating around his head, he likely had very few problems with what was going on with Dash right now. In hindsight, Applejack figured she should have expected that. Spike was young and very partial to little puppy-love crushes on pretty mares. She needed support from somepony older and more mature who wouldn't be so easily swayed by physical attractiveness.

"Twi?" Applejack asked, certain that she could receive a correct and logical answer from her. Based on Twilight's dreamy smile, the endless gaze in Dash's direction, and the little hearts floating around her head, though, she likely had very few problems with what was going on with Dash right now.

"Consarnit..." Applejack grumbled.

"That's...her way of saying she forgives you, darling," Rarity interjected. "And I must agree with Pinkie Pie. You do look rather cute, and it's nice to be able to say that without you throwing a fit."

"Throwing a fit?" Dash asked. Now that Rarity mentioned it, she did recall other times where the C-word had been used to describe her and she'd reacted negatively in an attempt to preserve her reputation. Thinking back on it, it seemed rather silly and pointless. If she looked good, there was no reason to deny it.

"I was probably just overreacting," Dash continued.

"A lady always accepts a compliment graciously..." whispered a voice which only Dash could hear, and she gave a demure nod.

"Thank you for the compliments," Dash said, giving the group an appreciative smile.

Applejack somehow refrained from eating her hat.

"Hmm..." Rarity said, a sly smile crossing her face. "What do you think about Dash's new look, Twilight?"

The group's attention now turned to the purplest of the bunch. Although to be fair, Twilight could have potentially been forced to surrender that title to Starlight, given the very recent emergence of pink on Twilight's cheeks. While the others were watching her carefully, it was Dash whose gaze was most rapt by far. Twilight, for her part, looked about as taken aback as anypony could have expected from somepony put on the spot as such.

"Oh!" Twilight exclaimed. "I...um...I mean..." Her eyes finally settled on Dash's face; a face whose bravado had quickly drained under Twilight's hesitation. Twilight's eyes faded back into the hazy gaze they they had employed earlier, and the dreamy smile swiftly accompanied it.

"I think she looks wonderful," Twilight said softly. A wave of relief washed over Dash as Rarity and Fluttershy giggled to themselves. Even Spike couldn't help a little smirk.

"Yeah yeah, great," Applejack said, rolling her eyes. Her behavior earned her a stem little look from Rarity, a look which she did her best to ignore as she looked around the rest of the table. "Anyhow, it's about time we got going."

"Leaving so soon?" Dash asked, taking a seat next to Twilight. "But I just got here."

"Sorry, Dash," Applejack said. "But we have a schedule to keep. Fluttershy and Pinkie were looking to get some buckball practice in, and we told Snails we'd meet him at noon."

"Don't you need two teams for that?" Dash asked.

"Sure do," Applejack agreed. "That's why Starlight's coming with us."

"I don't know a thing about this game, but it sounds like fun!" Starlight said with a smile.

"And I'm coming along to keep score!" Spike chimed in.

"And while they're off doing that, Twilight and I have a spa appointment," Rarity added. She looked over to Twilight for confirmation, but the alicorn's focus was still on Dash. It took her a good few seconds to realize she was being referred to, and gave a quick, embarrassed nod in response.

"You know, Dash..." Applejack said, giving her a little smirk. "We still need one more pegasus to have two full teams. Wanna come with?"

Dash's immediate instinct was to instantly accept the invitation. Even though the team of Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Snails was deceptively effective and would likely hand them a loss, it would still be a fun loss. Plus, with how crazy good at magic Starlight was, it was sure to be an interesting game.

"Sports are so boorish and unladylike..." the voice in Dash's head whispered, in a tone so eerily sweet and chilling that Dash could almost picture a cheshire smile behind it. "You've just gained Twilight's attention...you don't want to lose it so soon, do you?"

Dash's mind changed in an instant, as if some sort of switch had been flipped. She couldn't even believe the fact that she had been entertaining the idea. She was looking to impress Twilight, and to do so she needed to keep away from such unflattering behavior. As such, there was a very obvious answer as to what she needed to do.

"No thank you," Dash said, her carefully-styled mane bouncing slightly with the shake of her head. "But that spa trip sounds lovely, if you two wouldn't mind me joining you."

Spike briefly considered hiring a forklift to haul Applejack's jaw off of the ground.

"Oh!" Rarity exclaimed, clearly caught off-guard but at the same time not minding that fact at all. "But of course, darling!" Then she cast a wry smile in Twilight's direction. "Oh, where are my manners? Twilight, do you mind if Dashie joins us at the spa?"

"Yes!" Twilight shouted. "I mean no! Don't! D-don't mind! Is what I'm doing right now! Currently...don't...minding." The alicorn's composure had dissolved nearly as quickly as her grasp of proper grammar.

"Well it's decided then!" Rarity said, clapping her hooves together eagerly. "You lot have fun with your buckball, hm? Come come, ladies! To the spa!" She got up in one quick motion, prompting Dash and Twilight to follow.

Applejack, meanwhile, was still trying to overcome her shock. She looked around to the others in an effort to confirm that she was not the only one taken aback by Dash declining an invitation to a competition. Twilight and Rarity were already lost causes, and Pinkie and Spike seemed wholly unconcerned, but she took solace in the fact that Fluttershy and Starlight appeared to finally have some reservations about Dash's behavior. Starlight in particular was eyeing Dash critically. Applejack waited until the spa group was out of earshot before sidling up to the two.

"See?" Applejack asked. "See what I'm saying now? There's something wrong with her! She'd never turn down a competition otherwise! Especially for a trip to the spa!"

"Well..." Fluttershy said, tapping a hoof to her chin. "That does seem pretty strange..." Starlight gave a nod of agreement, though her silence and critical gaze persisted.

"I guess it does!" Pinkie agreed as she bounced over to the three, Spike quickly joining as well. "Unless you think about that!" One pink hoof pointed towards the departing group of ponies, and Applejack and company were treated to the sight of Dash and Twilight walking side by side and chatting. They were too far away to tell what was being said, but Dash was practically glowing and Twilight seemed just about as happy about the whole thing.

"Oh...right," Fluttershy said, suppressing a little giggle. "I guess that does make sense."

"Seriously?" Applejack exclaimed. Pinkie was by no means a stupid pony. In fact, she was quite smart when it came down to it. At the same time, nopony could argue that she could often be seen as a voice of logic and reason. And yet here she was, being treated as exactly that. It wasn't this that bothered Applejack the most, though. Pinkie was welcome to her moments of clarity and deserved them just as much as anypony else. It was the fact that Pinkie had a point when she very much did not want her to that really stuck in her craw.

"Come on, Applejack," Spike said. "I mean, Rainbow's been trying to get Twilight to notice her for a while now. Is it really that weird that she's going to the spa with her instead of coming with us?"

"I...uh..." Applejack started. Then her stubbornness kicked back in. "Yes, it is!"

"Oh, Applejack..." Pinkie said, smiling and patting her on the shoulder. "I know it has to be hard seeing your ex getting all goo-goo eyed over another pony..."

"That's not it at all!" Applejack shouted. The others took a step back, and Applejack let out an annoyed sigh. "Sorry for yelling...let's just go, okay? This anger will help me play better. I'm sure we can just find another pegasus to play on the way." The others murmured their agreement, and the group was soon on their way. Applejack grumbled to herself as they plodded on, wondering how she could be the only sensible one in the group. Just then, she noticed Starlight sneak up alongside her.

"Don't worry, Applejack," Starlight said. "I'm on your side. We'll figure out what's wrong with her."

Chapter 4

It wasn't like Rainbow Dash to sit still and allow herself to be pampered for this long. Then again, she was doing a lot of things in the past day that weren't like her, and those had been easily overlooked. Rarity couldn't find a legitimate reason to look at this any differently. Everypony, no matter how much they denied it, no matter how much they protested the very idea of it, needed to relax and enjoy a good pampering every now and again. There was no reason for Dash to be an exception to this rule.

It wasn't even like this was the first time Dash had gone to the spa. They'd all gone together quite a while ago, back when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were writing their terrible-yet-intriguing dirtsheet in their school newspaper. She and Applejack had even caught her going there a few times by herself not all that long ago. Spa visits, while uncommon, were not entirely out of the question for Dash. Out of the ordinary, but still within the realm of possibility. So there was really nothing to worry about.

So she was dressing a little nicer too. Rarity was a major proponent of the idea that everypony needed to gussy themselves up every once in a while. Every single pony she'd ever met had some manner of physical attractiveness to them, even if they didn't do much to show it. Dash was certainly no exception to this rule. In fact, she was quite the embodiment of it. Dash was a very lovely specimen, no matter how much she tried to ignore that fact in the past. Her sleek, athletic frame and eye-catching mane were like forbidden fruit to the seamstress. While she'd never found herself romantically attracted to Dash, she couldn't help but admit to a few lusty thoughts on her direction on lonely nights before she and Applejack had gotten together–and even some after, although given her status as Applejack's ex, those fantasies were unlikely to become a reality any time soon. Not that this was even her primary reason for thinking of her as forbidden fruit; the main reason for that designation was Dash's reluctance to let Rarity dress her up. She was a lovely canvas that the artist was rarely allowed to paint upon. Applejack might have seen Dash dressing up as cause for concern, but Rarity saw it as opportunity.

And it wasn't even just an opportunity for Rarity. It was an opportunity for Dash as well, an opportunity for her to finally catch the eye of the one she yearned for. Rarity had admittedly worried when she and Applejack began dating that Dash wouldn't take it well and would have difficulty moving on, so it was a relief when Dash started to show interest in Twilight. Wooing the alicorn had proven to be rather trying for her, but this new attention paid to her appearance seemed to be doing the trick, and Rarity couldn't be happier for her. There was clearly no reason for anypony to be concerned over Dash's sudden change in outlook and behavior and deem there to be something wrong with her. It was plainly obvious why she was doing these things, so there was no worrying necessary.

Some ponies often accused Rarity of doing things that weren't necessary. Their accusations were usually done in the friendliest of manners and always waved off by the fashionista, but it was entirely possible that there was some credence behind them. If anypony were to make such an accusation at this very moment, Rarity would have been forced to agree, because as unnecessary as worrying about Dash was, she was starting to do exactly that.

It wasn't like Rainbow Dash to sit still and allow herself to be pampered for this long. Rarity couldn't find a legitimate reason to look at Dash's new behavior as a problem. And yet those things weren't stopping her from doing so anyway.

Applejack had been so concerned, and it was hard for Rarity to simply ignore her marefriend's concerns, even if she didn't understand them at the time. A bit of introspection during the walk to the spa had made her realize that she might have been a bit too dismissive of Applejack's worries, and she had vowed to herself to make up for it by keeping an open mind and a watchful eye towards the situation.

The watchful eye had caught something mildly strange on the way to the spa, in fact. Dash's preferred method of ambulation was flying. Even if those she was traveling with were not capable of flight, she tended to fly more often than not, simply changing her elevation as appropriate. On this particular trip to the spa, though, she had chosen to walk. Even then, her walk wasn't quite what Rarity would have expected. When she did walk, Dash tended to have a confident stride, designed strictly to be effective without the need for too much panache. This time, there was a pronounced shake in her backside. Rarity would have simply attributed it to the desire to catch Twilight's eye–although it was a stretch even then–but with Twilight walking alongside her and her rear end out of her line of sight, that argument didn't really hold water. So why, then, would she incorporate such a gentle sway of the hips into her gait? It couldn't have been for Rarity's benefit, so why?

That question had joined the other minor concerns about Dash's recent behavior to become a rather heavy weight on Rarity's mind as the group of three sat through their spa treatment. She was now starting to see how Applejack must have felt earlier when nopony was paying any mind to her concerns, because it was clearly evident that she was the only one amongst the three of them who seemed to have any trepidations about Dash's behavior. Dash certainly didn't, and if Twilight was at all worried, she was doing a fantastic job of hiding it, what with the smiles and such as she chatted with Dash.

"This is so nice," Dash crooned as her masseuse worked the kinks out of her back.

"You're telling me," Twilight replied, giving her friend a smile. "I should really come here more often."

"And I as well," Dash concurred.

Rarity's eyes narrowed. That manner of verbiage was a far cry from Dash's usual replies of things like "totally," "heck yeah," and "unintelligible response while mouth is full of fast food." Surely Twilight would find that peculiar as well.

"Wow, Dash," Twilight said, grinning ever so slightly. "That was surprisingly eloquent." Rarity couldn't help but smile. Of course it would be grammar that permeated Twilight's attraction-induced blindness.

"What can I say?" Dash said, giving Twilight a big smile. "Around a pretty mare like you, even my words seem more lovely."

Every urge in Rarity's body begged for her to swoon at the sweet, romantic words that had left Twilight a blushing, giggly mess. In any other situation, such urges wouldn't need to be restrained. The sentiment sounded like it had come straight out of a romance novel, and that was squarely in Rarity's wheelhouse. The only thing stopping the "d'aww" from escaping her lips was the fact that it was just another point of concern over Dash's mental state. Dash was not typically one to be so sappy, and to be frank, the poetry in her soul was more like a limerick than a love letter. Even if she was going to lengths to woo Twilight, this was just another item to add to the list of non-Dash behaviors that Dash was currently exhibiting.

Rarity let out a soft sigh, glancing back at Aloe as she put her all into the massage. She had come to the spa to relax, and right now she was doing anything but. Granted, the things she had on her mind were important, but they weren't pressing. Dash was acting strangely, but not in such a way that she was endangering herself or others. And besides, there was no concrete evidence that there was actually something wrong with her. The evidence towards that possibility was certainly piling up, but as it was yet to be fully confirmed, a sentence couldn't be handed down just yet. Perhaps it was best to just relax as she was meant to for now and worry about Dash once they were done here. Her eyes drifted closed, ready to go back to enjoying her treatment.

"Shall we move on to the hooficure, Miss Dash?" Lotus asked as she gave Dash's back a final pat.

"Yes, please," Dash replied.

Rarity's eyes shot open. Rainbow Dash hated having her hooves touched. There was no denying it any further; something was definitely wrong with her.

~~~~~~~~~~

"What a game!" Pinkie bubbled as she and her crew made their way towards Twilight's castle. "We actually almost lost! You're a buckball natural, Starlight!"

"Oh, it was nothing, honest!" Starlight insisted. "I just moved the basket around. If there's anypony to congratulate for how we did, it's Applejack and Blossomforth."

"Blossomforth was surprisingly good, wasn't she?" Fluttershy said.

"She's...really stretchy," Spike mused. "Did you see that one awesome backwards somersault kick she did? She was flipping and spinning and twisting all over the place..."

"Uh oh..." Pinkie cooed, grinning from ear to ear. "Looks like Spikey's got a little crush!"

"What?!" Spike sputtered. "N-no, I was just saying that...I was just pointing out how she..." The dragon blushed lightly as Pinkie gave him a playful side-hug, thankful for being saved from wherever that sentence was heading.

Applejack remained silent as the others chatted. If her friends didn't know any better, they might have assumed that she was being a sore loser after how that game had gone. There were far bigger things on her mind than a buckball loss, though. The game had been a decent enough distraction from the situation with Dash, but now that it was over, her mind was squarely back on the issue. The frustration over the others not buying into her concerns was still there, but at least she knew she had an ally in Starlight. She hoped as they walked towards the castle that the two of them could manage to convince the others that something was wrong.

"So why are we going to the castle anyway?" Pinkie asked as the group stepped into the front hall. "We all just kind of followed you without thinking about it. Gosh, that could be a problem in other situations, huh?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Starlight said with a smirk, beginning to lead the group towards the study. "I'd like to think that kind of thing wouldn't happen if it wasn't a trusted friend doing the leading."

"Probably not!" Pinkie agreed.

"The 'probably' troubles me slightly," Starlight said as Spike suppressed a giggle. "But I've got a very important reason for bringing you here, and Applejack knows exactly what that reason is."

All eyes turned to Applejack as the group entered the study. To the farmer's credit, she had recovered from her earlier distraction and was able to capitalize on Starlight's setup with all the grace and charm that could be expected of her.

"Huh?" Applejack said, looking back and forth between her friends before finally settling on Starlight's gaze. "Oh! Right! We need to talk about Rainbow Dash. And before you say anything, I know none of y'all believe me when I say that there's something wrong with her, but-"

"Actually..."

The bulk of the group's attention was now focused on Fluttershy, giving the timid pegasus a moment of pause.

"Actually?" Applejack asked, her eyes lighting up as she awaited clarification.

"Actually..." Fluttershy repeated, her confidence returning. "I'm starting to think you might be right about-eep!" The startled noise was the immediate result of an enthusiastic Applejack wrapping Fluttershy up on a hug.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Applejack exclaimed. "I was worried y'all just thought I was nuts! What changed your mind?"

"You know...I'm not really sure," Fluttershy responded, giving her friend a little squeeze before attempting to wriggle out of her powerful grasp. "I don't think it was one event. I just thought about how she was acting, and...well, even considering how she's trying to win Twilight over, it doesn't seem like something she'd do normally." A cartoonish "pop" accompanied her eventual escape from the affectionate clutches of Applejack.

"Exactly!" Applejack said, turning her attention to Pinkie and Spike. "If Dash's oldest friend thinks there's something wrong with how she's acting, don't that give it a bit of credibility?"

"Well..." Spike said, tapping a single claw to his chin. "I guess it is pretty weird. I get that she likes Twilight, but it's strange she decided to change so much. Even if it does seem to be working."

"That's the thing," Starlight chimed in. "I don't think she decided to change."

"Ouh!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Do you think somepony's blackmailing her into being all prissy and ladylike?" She zipped over to Spike's side, putting him in a playful headlock. "Put this eye shadow on or the baby dragon gets it!" The light laughter the action elicited was sorely needed in an otherwise serious situation, although Applejack didn't seem to appreciate the attempt to make light of things.

"Not exactly, Pinkie," Starlight said with a smirk. "Now, I know this might sound slightly far-fetched, but as somepony who's...uh...experienced with magical mind control...I believe that's what we might be dealing with here. Considering how abrupt and drastic her change in behavior has been, it certainly seems like it to me." She glanced around awkwardly, trying to gauge the reactions of the room. As she expected, she was met with mostly looks of mild disbelief, save for the very concerned face of Applejack. A few uncomfortable seconds passed as the group tried to process this suggestion.

"But...um...who would mind control Rainbow Dash to act more prissy?" Fluttershy finally spoke up. "I don't see the point."

"Me either," Starlight responded. "And I'm not saying that's definitely the case, but it just feels like it to me. It's too familiar. I think some more observation of Dash is needed to be sure, though." Before she could utter another word, she found herself ensconced in pink.

"I'd love to spy on Dashie!" Pinkie bubbled. "I've got a stealth suit and everything!"

"I've never seen you in a stealth suit..." Starlight groaned as she tried to escape the hug.

"Exactly!" Pinkie responded, giving the unicorn a wink as she released her hold on her just in time to let sweet, sweet oxygen flood her lungs. "Just cast a cloudwalking spell on me and I'm good to go!"

"A cloudwalking spell?" Starlight asked. The unicorn tilted her head before giving a resolute nod. "Yeah, I can do that. But how are you going to get up there?"

"Um...I'll go with Pinkie," Fluttershy piped up. "I can carry her up there, you don't need to cast a cloudwalking spell on me, and I'd really like to see first-hoof if there's something going on with her."

"I'm mighty proud of you, Fluttershy," Applejack said, giving her a pat on the back. "Taking the initiative like that and all." Fluttershy just rolled her eyes and smiled. As much as her assertiveness was growing, that didn't stop her from knowing the right and wrong times to speak up, so Applejack's unintentional, good-natured patronizing went unmentioned.

"Alright then!" Starlight said, giving the two a smile. "That's one problem area covered, and just one more to go."

"One more?" Applejack asked, raising a brow. "What's the other one?"

"Twilight, of course," Starlight said simply. She briefly acknowledged Applejack's confused look before continuing. "Dash is the one acting the strangest, but don't you think Twilight's acting kind of strange too?"

"How so?" Applejack asked, starting to look worried. "You think she's mind controlled too?"

"No no, not like that," Starlight responded, placing a hoof on Applejack's shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. "I just mean that it's odd that she's suddenly all over Dash just because of this change in appearance and behavior. It doesn't seem like her to focus that much on something like that. Plus, we need to talk to her about Dash and open her up to the idea that something's wrong with her, because she sure didn't seem to believe that when we mentioned it before."

"Hmm..." Applejack said, considering this. "You know, I hadn't thought of it that way. It does seem weird now that you mention it. Maybe I can go talk to her about it."

"I'll come with!" Spike said. "Two heads are better than one, right?" Applejack gave him a smile and nodded.

"Perfect!" Starlight exclaimed. "That'll give me plenty of time to research. There are a startlingly large number of mind control methods out there, and I need to see if I can narrow things down." She looked out over the others with a smirk. She still had her trepidations over the idea of taking charge, but this wasn't going too terribly. "Do you all have your orders?" Another grin crossed her face as the ponies and dragon called out various exclamations of agreement and saluted. Within moments, the four had departed, leaving Starlight rolling her eyes until Pinkie zipped back in.

"The spell!" Pinkie said with a giggle.

"The spell," Starlight repeated, winking at her. As soon as the cloudwalking spell had been cast, Pinkie was gone again. Starlight shook her head and chuckled as she headed off towards the library. Perhaps she had spent too much time around Twilight recently, but she was finding herself rather excited to get to researching.

Chapter 5

Fluttershy liked to think of herself as a patient sort. In situations where many ponies would likely become frustrated, she tended to remain calm and keep a smile on her face. It was a trait that she valued and took great pride in. Where others would fly off the handle, she was proud to keep her feathers unruffled.

And yet the constant squeaking was starting to drive her crazy.

Pinkie couldn't help it. It wasn't in her being to stay perfectly still...well, pretty much ever. So naturally, for this flight to Cloudsdale, she would be squirming about as she rode on Fluttershy's back. Fluttershy didn't mind that in the slightest, but once one added the latex bodysuits that the two were wearing, it had quickly crossed the line from okay–even comfortable sometimes–to irritating. Every single move she made caused a squeak, and she was making a lot of moves. It certainly didn't help matters that Pinkie seemed to love the squeaking. Fluttershy had taken to breathing exercises learned from Tree Hugger to keep her calm, because a good friend like Pinkie didn't deserve to be shouted at, even if she was being a pain in the rump at the moment. Although the way she was moving was actually starting to relieve the actual pain in her rump, so maybe it wasn't the worst thing.

"So here's the plan," Pinkie said as they breached the surface of the cloud city. "Are you ready for this, Butterfly? Because this is gonna be a doozy!"

"Um...ready as I'll ever be, Pinkie," Fluttershy responded.

"Ah ah!" Pinkie quickly chided. "Codenames!" Fluttershy let out a soft sigh.

"...Pink Wonder," Fluttershy corrected herself. Despite the mild irritation, she couldn't help a small grin. Pinkie's silliness was infectious, like some manner of bubbly virus.

"Good!" Pinkie said, giving Fluttershy's side a little pat with one hoof. "So! We go into Dashie's house...quiiiietly. Then we go into her room...quiiiietly. And then we look through her stuff and see if there's any hints to why she's acting so prissy!"

"...Quiiiietly?" Fluttershy offered.

"How did you know?!" Pinkie marveled. "You're a natural!"

"And what if she sees us?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, she won't see us," Pinkie said with a smile. "That's what the stealth suits are for, silly! And if we need, we can just hide in the closet or something. Sound good?"

"I...suppose," Fluttershy responded. It might not have been the most carefully thought-out plan, but it wasn't like she had anything better in mind.

The two soon landed in front of Rainbow Dash's cloud house. Pinkie was quick to slide off of Fluttershy's back, causing the pegasus to wince at the squeak she created. The latex-covered party pony kept close to the ground as she snuck towards the front door, and Fluttershy, unsure of what else to do, mirrored her actions. Just before reaching the door, Pinkie took a quick detour, crossing over to the nearby window. She narrowed her eyes and waved for Fluttershy to join her. Not using the door seemed odd, but Fluttershy figured that Pinkie had to know what she was doing and joined her. Pinkie's forelegs were around Fluttershy in an instant, and before she could question the idea of hugging at this very moment, the earth pony lifted her up and hurled her at the window. Fluttershy's limbs flew in every direction as she hurtled through the air, but her natural grace allowed her to not only catch her balance and stop in midair before she landed on the floor of Dash's living room, but look elegant while doing so. She barely had a moment to reflect on her quick thinking and reflexes before Pinkie leapt through the window as well, belly-flopping onto Fluttershy and flooring both ponies.

"Oof!" Fluttershy whined.

"Shhh!" Pinkie whispered. The earth pony stood up and patted Fluttershy's back. "Sorry! Now let's go!" The earth pony took off down the hallway, making a huge show of pressing against walls, rolling along the floor, and high-stepping as if to avoid hidden laser traps that almost certainly didn't exist. Once she had reached the door to Dash's room, she waved for Fluttershy to follow. The pegasus did as requested, opting to simply tiptoe until a prompting wave from Pinkie convinced her to make one graceful leap.

The two ponies huddled by the door, each pressing an ear against it. Once they were satisfied at the lack of noise from within, they slowly nudged the door open, doing their best to keep quiet as they entered the room.

"Um...Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked as she scanned the room.

"Who's Pinkie?" Pinkie responded.

"Pink Wonder..." Fluttershy corrected herself with a sigh. "Is it just me, or does Rainbow Dash's room look more...feminine?"

Pinkie was forced to nod in agreement as she observed her surroundings. A full-length mirror hung from a wall that had previously held a Wonderbolt poster. A new makeup table stood next to the mirror, with various product stacked nearly on its surface. Even her simple-yet-effective bedsheets had been replaced with something more plush.

"Wowie..." Pinkie mused. "Just look at all of this! Are we sure Rarity didn't just make her room float somehow?"

"It's so strange to see her room like this..." Fluttershy said. "I mean...I could almost get her acting differently in public to try and attract Twilight, but to change her private bedroom?"

"I'm pretty sure she wants Twilight to see her bedroom," Pinkie said with a wink.

"R-right..." Fluttershy responded, her cheeks coloring. "But still, to make such drastic changes...that mind control idea of Starlight's has a bit more merit now."

"Yeah..." Pinkie answered. Her ears suddenly perked, and before Fluttershy could utter another word, pink forelegs had grabbed her around the barrel and yanked her into the closet. Fluttershy tried to question her actions–something she'd long since learned not to do with Pinkie but figured she'd try anyway–and quickly found a hoof covering her mouth. As it turned out, no questioning was necessary moments later, as Rainbow Dash entered her room.

The two mares had to work hard to keep from reacting to Dash's appearance as they peered through the slats in the closet door. If it wasn't for her distinct coloration, she might have been entirely unrecognizable. Her bangs were perfectly styled and held a volume uncharacteristic of her typical style. The back cascaded down her shoulders and had seemed to gain a good few inches of length, despite how illogical that was given the amount of time that had passed. The spa ponies had clearly redone her makeup, and her eyelashes had so much bounce to them that they could have given the buckballs that Fluttershy and Pinkie had been playing with a run for their money. The pegasus was the picture of beauty and grace as she passed her closet, even doing a little spin to accompany her happy sigh.

"She's gorgeous..." Pinkie whispered. This time, Fluttershy got to do the shushing, though she wasn't exactly wont to disagree. Both sets of eyes watched their friend's actions intently, more out of the need for information than just to enjoy the sight.

"This is so great!" Dash said to nopony in particular–nopony at all, as far as she was aware. "I can't believe she's finally noticing me! I knew this was a good idea!" Then she did a little twirl before falling into her back on the bed, letting out another happy little squee and kicking her hind legs. Her secret audience couldn't help but smile. Despite their concerns over her behavior, seeing her this happy over Twilight was too cute to ignore.

"What do you think?" Dash asked, suddenly sitting up on the bed. "Is there anything else I need to change for her?"

Pinkie and Fluttershy went pale. They had been so careful and quiet in their efforts to hide and spy, and Dash had still seen them? Fluttershy was just about to open the door and apologize when Pinkie's hoof stopped her, then pointed towards Dash. Dash's eyes were not looking towards the closet. Rather, they appeared to be focused squarely on a pink book on her nighttable. It had escaped their notice earlier, perhaps because of its general innocuousness. The fact that Dash seemed to be questioning it, though, brought it to the forefront of their attention. Although that wasn't half as weird as the fact that she appeared to be listening to it as well. The light in her eyes seemed to dull after her question as she stared at the book, and a blank look adorned her face for a good five seconds before her expression snapped back to normal.

"Of course," Dash said, nodding with a calm little smile on her face. She had already been speaking more properly than Fluttershy and Pinkie were used to, but now an extra bit of poshness colored her tone. "I think stockings would be simply divine." The book glowed a subtle red, but if Dash noticed it, she didn't say a word about it. It certainly did not escape the attention of her spies, though, and it took a fair amount of restraint for them to wait until Dash left the room before bursting out of the closet. As soon as Dash had left, both ponies clambered to the nighttable, nearly tripping over each other as they did so.

"What is it?" Fluttershy asked, staring intently at the tome that lay before them.

"Uhhh, Fluttershy? I think it's a book." Pinkie replied. She smiled proudly at her revelation, ignoring the glare from her friend.

"Don't you mean Butterfly?" Fluttershy asked.

"Eh, it's okay if we're alone," Pinkie said with a shrug. Fluttershy took a deep breath and counted to five under her breath before continuing.

"It's clearly not just a book," Fluttershy said. She leaned in to take a closer look at it. "Pony Prettification: A Proper Mare's Guide to Landing the Pony of Your Dreams. It's certainly not the kind of book I'd expect Rainbow Dash to read, but it makes sense given what's going on."

"Yuppers!" Pinkie agreed. A pink hoof reached out to open the similarly-colored book, flipping through until one page made her stop. "Whoa...this is a nice picture of Dashie! But it looks unfinished."

Fluttershy stared at the picture in question for a good while. It certainly was accurate. Every bit of Dash's form had been perfectly, perhaps even lovingly recreated. The only oddity was the coloring. The bottom two-thirds of the picture had been colored in properly, but the top third remained uncolored.

"Why would somepony color so oddly?" Fluttershy wondered aloud. "It all cuts off evenly right here."

"And why would there be a picture of Dashie in a book like this, colored or not?" Pinkie asked.

"I...don't know," Fluttershy responded. She knew it was a rhetorical question, but answering still felt like the polite thing to do.

"I have what you seek..."

The deep, haunting voice sent a shiver down Fluttershy's spine, and she turned to give Pinkie a look.

"Pinkie Pie, this isn't the time for scary voices..." Fluttershy said quietly, a hint of fear behind her voice.

"Um...that wasn't me," Pinkie responded. Her voice was shaky as well, and Fluttershy knew in an instant that this wasn't a prank. Both ponies stared at each other before turning their attention to the book. Its pages flipped suddenly, turning to reveal two blank pages. The faintest hints of pony outlines began to form on either page.

"I have what you seek..." the voice said once more. Its tone, disconcerting as it was, sounded almost as if it was trying to invite the two mares to stick around. Their twin shrieks, however, were rather handy indicators that they had no intention of doing so. Quicker than a hiccup, Pinkie's forelegs were around Fluttershy's barrel, and she once again found herself being hurled through a window, this time to exit Dash's house rather than enter it. Fluttershy managed to snap out of her fear-induced paralysis and catch herself in midair just as she had before, and this time she was ready for Pinkie to land on her. As soon as her passenger belly-flopped onto her back, the two took off, Ponyville bound to share their intel–once their hearts stopped racing, of course.

~~~~~~~~~~

Applejack's trot was powerful and determined as she made her way across town. Spike counted himself lucky that she had allowed him to ride in her back, because it was unlikely that his short baby dragon legs could keep up with her gait. Instead, all he had to deal with was holding on for dear life. This was nothing compared to her rodeo bucking, but for a dragon used to Twilight's calm trot, this was turbulence to the highest degree.

"Could you maybe slow down just a little?" Spike asked his steed. "I really liked the lunch we had before the buckball game. I kinda don't want to lose it." He felt Applejack's speed drop, albeit slightly.

"Sorry, Spike," Applejack replied. "Don't mean to rattle you up like an apple barrel, but the sooner we find Twilight, the better."

"I guess," Spike said. Truthfully, he didn't quite understand what difference it made finding her sooner, but that didn't mean he felt like having a discussion over semantics. Some battles weren't worth picking. Besides, she did slow down a little bit.

"Good," Applejack said. With that settled, she set her eyes back on the path, scanning the area for any signs of Twilight. As it turned out, very little scanning was needed.

"Twilight Sparkle off the port bow!" Spike called, pointing off to the left. Sure enough, there she was, walking towards Sugarcube Corner with Rarity in tow. Without a moment's hesitation, Applejack veered off of the path and headed in their direction, Spike's arms wrapped firmly around her neck so as not to be thrown off.

"Twilight!" Applejack shouted, startling the two mares as she approached. "We need to talk to you." It only took her a brief moment of noting Rarity's expression before quickly throwing in a "Hi hon."

"Hello to you too, dear," Rarity said, mildly bothered but mostly appeased. "And hello, Spike. Now what's this all about?"

"Is there a friendship problem?" Twilight asked. The excitement in her voice was palpable.

"Well...yes, in a way?" Applejack replied. "But not like a Cutie Map problem."

"Oh," Twilight responded. "Well, whatever it is, I'd be happy to help solve it. What's the problem?"

"Rainbow Dash," Spike answered.

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight gasped. "What happened? We just saw her at the spa a little while ago!" Twilight always looked concerned when a friend was in trouble, of course. Applejack and Spike expected nothing less of her. Still, they couldn't help but note the urgency behind her query. The filly clearly had it bad for Dash.

"We don't know exactly what happened," Spike explained. "But we have a few ideas."

"Vague ideas," Applejack added.

"Well what are they?" Twilight asked. "I need to know so I can help her!"

"It's complicated," Rarity chimed in. "I mean, if it's the problem I'm thinking of and not something new that's popped up. Is this the thing you've been concerned about, Applejack?"

"The same!" Applejack agreed. "And some other stuff we need to talk about too."

"Will somepony just tell me already?!" Twilight shouted. Spike let out a groan.

"Rainbow Dash is acting weird," Spike said. "And it's really out of character for her and Applejack was worried. The rest of us thought it was just because she likes you but Applejack still thought it was messed up. And now we're all starting to agree with her and Starlight thinks it's mind control and we're also surprised that you're only just noticing her now because she's acting more feminine." He looked to Applejack and Rarity's dumbfounded expressions. "Was that so hard?"

"Wait!" Twilight exclaimed. All eyes turned to her, and she stayed silent for a few moments before blushing softly. "Rainbow Dash likes me?"

"Please tell me that's not all you got out of that," Applejack said flatly.

"Of course not!" Twilight insisted. "I'm just...surprised! When did this start?"

The others just kind of stared at their friend for a bit. Finally, Rarity opted to step up.

"Twilight, darling," Rarity started. "The poor dear's been hung up on you for some time now. You can't tell me you haven't noticed."

"But I haven't noticed!" Twilight told her.

"Sugarcube, she's been flirting with you something fierce," Applejack said. "Only way she could have been more obvious was if she grabbed you and smooched the stuffing out of you right on the spot."

"Isn't my Applejack such a romantic?" Rarity said with a roll of her eyes. The two gave each other a grin, but their expressions changed when they saw the worry in Twilight's eyes.

"Have I really been that oblivious?" Twilight asked. Her ears were pinned down against her head, and she looked for all the world like the most miserable pony in Equestria.

"There there, darling..." Rarity said, patting her on the back. "It's okay. You know now."

"But that still doesn't answer the other stuff," Applejack said.

"Do you really think it's mind control?" Twilight asked, her previous misery now replaced with more of a concerned expression.

"Starlight sure does," Spike said. "And even though we can't figure out why somepony would want to mind control Rainbow Dash to be more feminine, it's pretty much the only answer we've got."

"I mean...it's possible, but it makes no sense," Twilight said, logical mind always at the ready. "I think she's just acting like that to get my attention...and that sounded really conceited now that I think about it."

"And that's another thing," Applejack said, taking a step forward. "It doesn't seem like you to only start noticing her when she starts acting like this. What's up with that?" Applejack gave a resolute nod, but that confidence faded when she saw the look Rarity gave her.

"I..." Twilight stammered, embarrassment blossoming on her face. "It's not exactly that...I've always thought she was rather attractive...but I mean, I think all of my friends are rather attractive in one way or another. I guess it was just her putting the extra effort forth for me that opened my eyes more to her." She looked away, hanging her head. "But I don't need her to do that for me...I'd like her just the way she usually is. I'd feel awful if she thought any different..."

Rarity's death glare at Applejack persisted as she moved in to comfort Twilight. The farmer's ears fell back, and she joined in on the hug.

"Sorry for sounding so accusatory, Twi," Applejack said. Twilight looked up and gave her a weak smile and nod of forgiveness.

"Either way, maybe we should look into this mind control thing," Spike said.

"I really don't think it's that," Twilight told him. "I cant figure out a logical reason for it. She must just be doing this because she thinks it's the only way I'd notice her. But I'll talk to her tomorrow, okay? We're meeting for lunch."

"Excellent," Rarity said, letting go and smiling earnestly. "And we wish you all the luck in the world. Right, you two?"

"Of course," Applejack and Spike replied. The group watched Twilight walk off towards her castle, and it was a good few seconds before Rarity broke the silence.

"Mind control, Applejack?" Rarity asked.

"I mean it!" Applejack insisted. "She's obviously-"

"I didn't say I was discounting the idea," Rarity interrupted. "Rainbow Dash is absolutely acting strange. The concept seems ridiculous...but perhaps you're on to something."