Sunset Shimmer lugged her heavy backpack off of her shoulders, trudging towards her bed. The late spring sun had set over Canterlot High School hours before, and Sunset was just happy to be back home. What little time she got to herself made it all the more precious. It would be summer soon, but before that were final exams, final projects, and the inevitability of her free time evaporating like water on the sidewalk.
Sunset took the backpack off, content to let it slide to the floor. Her annoyance with the heat gave way to letting her leather jacket fall on top of her pack. She knew she’d scold herself for it tomorrow morning. But that was then.
Her hand curled around her wrist as she looked at her left shoulder. There it was. The tattoo of a blazing sun covering her arm from shoulder to elbow. On days like today, it looked even better than when she first got it.
Just looking at it was making her heart race. She’d been thinking about this night ever since she woke up on Monday. But now, it was Friday night. She had all the time in the world.
“Well… here we go.”
Sunset walked up the loft stairs to her bedroom, kneeling before the small dresser against the wall. She slowly slid the second drawer open, reaching inside and pulling out a white stuffed unicorn doll. A quick glance over her shoulder to make sure the door was locked and the windows were closed, and Sunset lifted the doll closer.
“… Hi, Princess.”
Sunset couldn’t help but give off a little smile as she stood up, placing the unicorn on her spot on Sunset’s bed. “I know it’s been a little while. Things have just been busy lately.”
She sat down on the end of her bed, facing the doll. “You’ve probably heard me go on and on about it when you were sitting in there, didn’t you? The night after we beat the Sirens, you must have gotten quite the earful.”
With her head in her hand, Sunset stared at the little doll as her eyelids began to drop. “You know… That night? After ponying up and getting a big hug from all my friends? I felt lighter than air. And things have been getting a lot better ever since then. There’s this big field trip coming up in a little while to Camp Everfree, and before that, there’s the Friendship Games.
“There’s supposed to be a math portion of the Games, right? I figure if I’m going to ace anything against Crystal Prep, it’s probably going to be that. I don’t think anyone’s got the kind of brain I’ve got for math at that school…”
Sunset’s eyes had closed. The silence hung in the air.
A moment passed. Then another. And another.
A heavy sigh.
“And yet… I can’t shake that feeling.”
I thought you said you weren’t going to think those kinds of things anymore, Sunset Shimmer.
“I know, I know!” said Sunset, turning around quickly, gripping the edge of her mattress. “And the other you, the school principal… she’s been helping me a lot. She’s made time every single time I’ve asked her. And my friends? I don’t know where I’d be without them.”
Sunset looked at the tattoo on her left shoulder. “Actually, yes I do. And it scares me. Because… Ugh. God, this is so stupid…”
This isn’t stupid, Sunset. It’s what you need to feel better. Please, talk to me.
Sunset hung her head, her red and yellow hair framing her face.
“I thought… Once I got through all of that? Once I accomplished all of these things? That I wouldn’t be thinking about it anymore. But one little slip-up, and it’s like I’m ready to just blow up at somebody again. The other day, I was sitting on the bleachers, watching Rainbow Dash…” Sunset felt a lump in her throat, but it quickly melted.
“Watching Rainbow Dash practice shooting goals? So she invites me to try and block her shots… And of course, it’s Rainbow Dash, so I end up faceplanting into the grass about a dozen times and I don’t even get close to the ball. She just scores on me like I’m not even there.
“But I was really worked up over it, even though I know I shouldn’t be. I know I shouldn’t be, but I was. So she comes over, and she asks me if I’m okay, and I just… I just explode at her.”
Sunset clutched the corner of her shirt.
“I said that she’d… be a lot better friend if she didn’t make people feel bad all the time. That was three days ago. I haven’t even talked to her since then. I don’t know what I’m going to say.”
You didn’t really mean what you said. You know that.
“Of course I didn’t mean it. I even said I didn’t mean it. But Rainbow, she… She just got this look on her face like…” The lump in her throat swelled back up. “Like I’d just crushed her, or… Or… God, what if she never wants to talk to me again?!”
Sunset. Everything will be okay. Now take a deep breath.
A sharp breath. Sunset’s chest hurt. Her grip wavered.
That’s it. Just relax. Nice and slow.
Slower and shorter breaths finally made Sunset calm down. The room filled with an uncomfortable silence for a few long moments. The spring heat seemed even more intense in the hot room with the windows closed and the door bolted shut. But soon, Sunset was coldly laughing.
“Heh… ha ha ha… Even in another world, I can’t go a day without needing a lecture from you.”
Nopony goes through life alone, Sunset Shimmer.
She slowly looked back to the tattoo on her shoulder. Her fingers traced across the ink, feeling the rough skin beneath it. Her palm curled around the tattoo, and she broke into a genuine smile.
“Princess? Did I ever tell you why I picked this design?”
You told me it was very important to you.
Sunset nodded. “It is.”
Her eyes closed. She nervously sat in the tattoo parlor’s chair, watching the seconds tick by on a clock on the wall. Even before the needle touched her skin, she was shuffling in place and trying not to think about what was about to happen. She read that there would be bleeding. This was going to hurt, for certain
But there was Rainbow. Right by her side.
“Aww, come on, Sunshim. You can’t be nervous about this!” said Rainbow.
“Tell that to my nerves…” Sunset said under her breath.
“You got nothing to be scared of,” she remembered Rainbow saying. “In a few minutes, this will all be behind you, and you’ll come out of it looking even more awesome than you do right now.”
Sunset looked up at Rainbow, who was just inches away from her now.
“I mean, come on, girl! If you can stand up to the Sirens and save everyone’s bacon at the Battle of the Bands, you can handle this! You are awesome, Sunshim! And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Especially not yourself!”
The big smile on Rainbow’s face made Sunset’s cheek flush. The way the sun came in through the windows made Rainbow’s smile almost glow…
A sudden buzz from her pocket snapped Sunset back to reality. She pulled her phone from her pocket and checked the screen.
“You OK Sunshim?” Sunset read out loud. “Heh. If only she knew.”
She typed back. “I’m okay. I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it.”
A few tense seconds passed before Rainbow’s reply popped up. “I know you didn’t it’s OK. Just making sure your alright.”
Sunset chuckled to herself. “Grammar was never your strongest subject, Rainbow.”
The text messages flew back and forth for a while. A few apologies, but mostly sticking to the usual fare. Sunset was absorbed into her phone like she used to be in an old spell book.
You really should tell her how you feel.
Sunset stopped texting, slowly setting her phone down to the side and turning her head towards the unicorn doll. “I know, Princess. But I’m so scared that I’ll just end up ruining what we have right now.”
Do you truly believe that Rainbow Dash is the kind of girl who would break your heart like that?
“No! Of course not! Rainbow would never do anything to upset me. She’s energetic, and she’s funny, and she’s… Well, she’s charming in her own way.”
Then you must have a reason that you’re trying to keep this a secret.
Sunset looked down at her feet. She nodded her head softly.
“I…”
Sunset.
“I… I’m scared about telling her... everything about me.”
Oh, Sunset. There's nothing to worry about.
“Yeah, sometimes I’m not so sure.” She stood up from her bed, walking to the railing that overlooked her room. “I mean, I’m in a way better place than I used to be. But I’m still talking to you to help me get through the week. And… I know I’ve got the journal to Princess Twilight. And her advice is fantastic. But…”
But?
“Even though I know it’s not really you saying it, it’s like hearing it in your voice makes it feel that much better.”
If you need me to help you, that’s what I’m here for. Even when you were my student, I only wanted what was best for you.
Sunset chuckled. “You know, I’ve thought about what Rainbow would say if I introduced you to her. Would she think I’m crazy, talking to a little doll?”
Would she?
“Now that I say it out loud? No, she wouldn’t. Knowing Rainbow, she’d probably introduce herself to you and ask you if you know how to play soccer.” The thought sent a chuckle up from Sunset’s belly, causing her to break out into a laugh, leaning over the railing.
“And then! Then she’d put you in front of a goal, and kick the ball at you, and she’d say ‘Oh! Wow! She’s got even better hands than you, Sunshim! Oh, wait, she doesn’t even have hands!’” Sunset laughed so hard that her stomach hurt.
Rainbow Dash sounds very special to you.
Sunset could only nod, taking a moment to catch her breath and wipe the tears out of her eyes. “Yeah… Yeah, she is. She really is. All of my friends are.” She stood upright, glancing down at her arm one more time.
“Oh, I didn’t finish telling you. The tattoo I got that day. It looks like my cutie mark, right? But I picked it because I wanted something that would remind me of all my friends, and what they’ve done for me. And I wanted it right there on my left arm. Because that’s where I… well, you know.”
Her fingers traced across the sun’s rays. “That way, if I ever… got those dark thoughts again? I couldn’t do it without going through them.”
Sunset couldn’t help but smile. “That’s what they are. Pinkie, AJ, Fluttershy, Rarity… Rainbow… all of them. They’re my light. They’re my shield. They help me through all the dark times. All of them.”
You really thought this out.
Sunset’s hands gripped the railing that overlooked her room.
“I know there are days where it feels like I’m totally lost, but… With Rainbow? With all the rest of them?”
Her hands relaxed, fingers gently resting on the rail.
“It’s like… It’s like I know I’m going to be alright. Because of all of them.”
No response.
“… Princess?”
Sunset turned to look at the doll. She picked up the unicorn doll and brought it close to her. She couldn’t hear her voice anymore. Sunset glanced between her and the tattoo on her shoulder, now more visible from the streetlights outside flickering on.
Her lips curled into a smile again. “Oh. I see what you’re saying.” Sunset gave the doll a gentle hug in her arms.
“Thank you, Princess. Goodnight.” With that, Sunset switched her bedside lamp on, slowly putting the doll back in her usual place in the drawer and sliding it shut.
Sunset sat back down on the edge of her bed, picking her phone back up.
There was Rainbow’s latest text. “See you at school Monday?”
Sunset closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She typed her response out letter by letter.
“I know finals are coming, but do you have time to hang out this weekend? Just the two of us?”
“Yeah sure why?”
“I’ve got something I need to tell you.”
