Vinyl and Octavia’s cottage vibrated with the pulsing baseline of Vinyl’s newest masterpiece. The windows were wide open so the sounds could reverberate through the hot summer air that had inspired the fiery song. Octavia had been gone for the week in Canterlot for a show and Vinyl reveled in her ability to have the cottage how she liked it.
Vinyl loved Octavia, but she had always liked it colder. Always muttering something about the temperature and such, but Vinyl hadn’t paid it much mind. Octavia wasn’t terribly overt but Vinyl knew she was a stickler about it.
Two hours until Octavia would saunter through the door, cello case balanced on her haunches. Vinyl danced about the cottage, shutting up the windows as her DJ set-up played her song once more, her ears pricked to find even the slightest dissonance.
With the windows closed up and the thermostat turned down to make the interior a few degrees below chilly, Vinyl sat back with her earphones over her ears and worked on thinking about how nice it would be to have Octavia home.
On cue, five minutes early as always, Octavia pushed the door open and pulled her cello through the door. “Dearest, I’m home.” Octavia’s melodic voice floated through the crisp indoor air and fell on Vinyl’s one free ear.
“Octy,” Vinyl hopped up, “You have to hear my new piece.”
Octavia cringed. The music was very obviously not her type, but she often listened to it to appease her beloved housemate. The earphones slipped over her ears and the beat coursed through her. It had a warm sensation to it, like feeling the sun’s rays dance across one’s coat. “Oh Vinyl, how did you come up with such a thing?”
“I just opened up the house and let the creative juices flow,” Vinyl said, setting a hoof down on her turntable.
She didn’t get a single wub out before she realized something was wrong.
Octavia had frozen in place. Her whole body had grown tense. “You did what?”
“Opened up the house. You know, opened the windows, let fresh air in.” Vinyl had grown worried.
Octavia took off to her room in a rush. The silence that followed a horrified squeak was enough to tell Vinyl that something was seriously wrong. Octavia emerged from her room shaking, the horror on her face slowly being replaced with seething rage. “Why would you open up the house, when I’ve said I want it cool in here?” She spoke through tightly grit teeth.
Vinyl’s ears fell flat to her head, her bugged pink eyes hidden behind her glasses. She didn’t even realize she was pulling her head back, away from Octavia. “I closed up the windows so it would be cool by the time you got back.” She said quietly.
“Do you listen to a word I say?” she practically vibrated, “All those times when I’ve said I wanted it kept cold in here? When I insisted it not get above a comfortable fall day? When I said that it was to keep my Stalivarius cello from WARPING!?”
“I… I…” Vinyl stuttered, “Bu…But…”
Vinyl may not have been a string instrument pony, but she knew that a Stalivarius was one of the rarest types of instruments in the world. There were Stalivarius violins in museums in Canterlot for goodness sake. Octy had been lucky enough to have one passed down to her through family. Having something like that warp was not just a crime against Octavia, but a crime against all of Equestria.
Octavia angrily started tossing her things in suitcases, not just enough for a cool down, everything that was hers was being packed. Her rage was apparent, her pain over the loss of her precious heirloom was even more apparent from the tears in her eyes as she packed. The only item she didn’t touch was the picture of her and Vinyl from when they first started rooming together.
Vinyl felt tears pricking in her eyes, “I… I didn’t…”
“Find yourself a new housemate,” Octavia stormed out with all of her bags and two cello cases packed high on her back.
The sound of the door slamming as Octavia walked away may as well have been in a silent film because all Vinyl heard was her heart pounding. She rushed out the door, fear overwhelming her. She couldn’t lose Octavia. They’d been through so much together.
“Octy, please come back!” Vinyl’s voice shook with tears, “Please let me make it up to you. I can fix this.”
“Don’t push me on this, Vinyl, my mind is made up,” Octavia looked at her with cold purple eyes and her tone dared Vinyl to ask again.
Vinyl watched as she walked off into the distance, numbness growing in her chest. She had done something incredibly stupid, leaving the windows open and not paying attention to how insistent Octavia had been for the temperature control. It was all avoidable. It was all right in front of her nose. It was all her fault.
Hours passed and the day turned into night. Vinyl hadn’t stopped pacing through the cottage, the empty silence gouging the hole in her heart wider and wider. Thoughts raced, panic nestled in her stomach, and she felt like she was floating through electrically charged air. Sickness twisted her insides until she could not walk anymore.
Flicking the lights off weakly with her magic, she curled up in her bed. Tears pricked in her eyes. She tucked one pillow between her legs, hugging it to her, and pressed her face into the other for comfort and use as a large plush tissue. Soon the small tears turned into streams, which were then followed by sobs that caused her whole body to tense up. “I can’t take it back.” She sobbed through grit teeth, “I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid.”
Her thoughts all flitted to Octy. Her smile, her laugh, how her mane looked in the morning, how she was when they were together alone, the sound of her bow being pulled across the strings of her cello, it was all causing her heart to ache more, little lashes caused with each flitting memory.
Fatigue set in and consciousness eased as she felt her heart grow heavier. She prayed quietly for punishment for what she had done. Her foolishness led her to hurt the only pony she cared that deeply about. Hoping for the worst as her eyes blinked their final sleepy blink, she fell into unconsciousness.
Her dream faded in, picking up where her heart left off. Her precious Octy was looking at her with pained eyes, her warped Stalivarius Cello in her forelegs. She pulled her bow across the strings causing painful scratching dissonance to assault Vinyl’s ears. Tears fell from Octy’s eyes, plopping against the cello in a melancholy percussion.
Vinyl couldn’t move, her sorrow prevented her. This is what she deserved. The air around her grew hot. Vinyl could hardly breathe in her own dream and yet she looked on at Octy as the cello cracked and split. Her eyes flew up at her gray-coated mare and saw that in the heat, she too, was cracking just like her precious cello. “Look what you’ve done, Vinyl,” she said as the cello caught up in flames, “look what you’ve ruined.”
“ENOUGH!”
With a flash of blue magic, the dream around Vinyl faded into nothing more than Ponyville town square. The visage had melted away, but the dreamy tears still filled Vinyl’s eyes.
“It is alright now, you are safe,” Princess Luna announced in her proper tone.
“Bring it back,” Vinyl whispered.
“Excuse me?” Princess Luna tilted her head.
“Bring it back,” Vinyl nearly screamed in raving lunacy as she pawed at the ground where the visage had been, “Make it worse. I don’t care. Just bring it back.”
“Why would you want your nightmare back?” Princess Luna nearly glared at the musical unicorn.
Vinyl’s voice was scratchy, “I deserve it. I hurt her in the worst way possible. I deserve to suffer for what I did to her.”
Princess Luna opened her mouth to speak but Vinyl kept going, still anxiously pawing for the painful visage’s return. “How could I have been so stupid? I should have listened, really listened to what she had to say. How can I be such a black-hearted unicorn that I would hurt someone as wonderful as her? It’s all my fault. I… I … I loved her and she loved me… and this is how I repay her. I’ll never see her look at me like that again.”
Her eyes squeezed closed as she choked back a sob. Black crystals started to spring up in Vinyl’s dream, her horn flickering with purple and green spotty magic. Her belief was bringing her nightmare back in new form.
“Stop this at once!” Princess Luna projected with the traditional Canterlot royal voice.
Vinyl’s visage returned to normal and she looked dizzily up at Princess Luna.
“You wish for remuneration for your actions? You plead for suffering? You crave equal or greater pain because of your dark nature?” Princess Luna looked at her gravely.
Vinyl looked away sheepishly and nodded.
“You shall not get this from me,” she said flatly in return, “It is my duty to protect ponies in their dreams, and that includes protecting them from themselves. I, too, know what it is to wish for punishment for my sins. Now tell me, grief-stricken one, what have you done?”
“I,” her voice grew quiet, “I didn’t listen to my housemate when she said that she wanted something done a certain way and blew it off as no big deal, and by the time I realized exactly how my actions could hurt her… it was too late.”
“So, you’ve hurt a friend? We have all done that at one point,” Princess Luna said gently.
“Yes, but it could have all been prevented if I had listened and paid more attention to her wants and needs. I failed as a friend and a lover. Now, she is gone and I don’t think she will ever come back. I fear I’ve lost the one thing I truly cared about because I’m nothing but a stupid vile horrid pony.”
“Do you truly believe that? That you are a ‘stupid vile horrid pony’ or that you are ‘black-hearted’ for this?” Princess Luna asked.
“How can I not be? I caused so much pain because I was too dismissive of her wishes. What kind of pony does that to someone they love?” Vinyl slumped further down.
“Did you intend for her to be hurt?” Princess Luna looked glum.
“No!” Vinyl called out quickly, “I’d give my happiness, my success, even my heart to take back all of the pain I’ve caused her.”
“You are feeling pain now, yes?” Princess Luna smiled lightly, “That emptiness in your heart?”
“Yes,” Vinyl said.
“I have been evil. I have wanted Equestria to fall. I have wanted to bring suffering to its ponies. I know what it is to have a heart filled up with darkness and hate. You do not have a dark heart. Your heart bleeds with grief for your actions. There is not evil in your depths, there is regret for things that cannot be changed. The only hate in your heart is for yourself.”
“This hate cannot be allowed to fester. Punishing yourself for your actions seems like a sensible thing to do, especially when the actions have been so great as to cause a seemingly irreparable rift, but you must be able to forgive yourself. Punishing yourself can go unnoticed for a while, but eventually, those who care about you will notice and become concerned. It may even hurt them in the end.”
“How can I forgive myself for being so foolish? Octy can’t forgive me. I don’t even know if she knows I’m sorry. Sorry doesn’t even cut it. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.” Vinyl cried.
“What is done is done. You cannot go back and undo it. If you loved her as you say, she knows that you are sorry. If she feels she can return to you, she will. But for the time being, try to forgive yourself. Everypony makes mistakes, and some are worse than others. Some leave voids that cannot be mended. She may not return soon. She may not return ever. Even in light of that, you do not deserve to punish yourself so harshly.”
“I feel like I deserve it,” Vinyl said.
“I know you do. I also know that these words are hard to believe in light of that grief,” Princess Luna put a hoof on her shoulder, “but you aren’t as bad as you believe you are. Now get some sleep.”
