Not*worthy: A Story of Sex and Introspection

“Could it be?”

I hear her voice behind the door before she reaches it. I’m smiling when it swings open. My eyes are half-closed. “Hello, Rarity.”

A slender white hoof wraps around my neck and yanks me inside. We’re kissing before the door closes. After several seconds of wrestling with her tongue in my mouth, I yank myself backward and stumble into a rack of loose fabric.

“Careful!” we say together.

“Please, I’m using those later today,” she continues, pointing elegantly to the cloth behind me. “Do try to leave them out of this, won’t you?” Her smile is coy, excited.

“The door wasn’t even closed!” I say. “What if your sister or her friends were trotting by?”

Rarity stands too straight, clears her throat, and runs a hoof over her immaculate mane. I can smell its perfumed scent where I stand. “It’s early on a Saturday morning, darling. No one of consequence saw us, I assure you.” She resumes a confident stance. “Now do tell, what are you doing at my abode so early on a Saturday, hmm?”

I chuckle once through my snout. “You know what I’m here for, Rarity. Is it still fun for you to pretend it’s our first time?”

“No!” Rarity lunges forward, wrapping her hooves around my head. She kisses me and kisses me, eyes shut tight. I suppress a smile and close my eyes, kissing her back.

She stops for a long breath. “Oh, I needed this!” And she dives back in, sucking on my face. The sensation is familiar, but still exciting. My penis is emerging already.

She notices. “Oooh, my dear colt, not yet!” She flicks its tip with her hoof.

I breathe in sharply through my teeth.

“So sorry,” she says through pouty lips, and kisses me even harder. She’s moaning. I join in with an occasional sound of my own. My voice sounds so low compared to her desperate whines.

“Oh, Noteworthy, it’s been too long!” Rarity throws her mane back, rubbing the back of my neck with one hoof and feeling my chest with the other. She twists her body, rubbing our shoulders together while she whispers in my ear. “Where have you been, darling? With another mistress?”

I chuckle again. “Rarity, please. You know I only have eyes for you.”

She titters. “Yes I do, darling, yes I do. And rightly so!” She leans back and glares at me for a moment. “And if you ever betray me, I swear to Celestia―”

“You’re the one that wants to keep this a secret,” I say with a sad look in my eyes. “If we could only go public, you wouldn’t have to worry about me with other mares.”

“Ha ha! Oh, Noteworthy, you do make me laugh.” Rarity tease slaps me across the face. “You know why I can’t do that! Flirting is part of my job, darling. I don’t want to come across a floozy in the fashion world, do I?” She shakes her head. “No no no, we can’t possibly go public with this, as special as it is. But you do know I love you―” She strokes my cheek. “―don’t you, my dear?”

I nod and lean in, kissing her on the corner of her mouth. “I understand, Rarity. I want your dreams to come true. You deserve every miracle that happens to you.”

“Miracles?” She looked offended.

“Miracles come to the most worthy of us,” I whisper to her, kissing her glistening neck. “You work so hard, your mind is so full of genius ideas… who in the world is more worthy than Rarity?”

“Mmmm… yes!” She holds me close. “Yes, Notey, you understand. You really understand me.”

“I’ll never understand you, Rarity,” I say. “You’re so… mysterious. Enigmatic. You exist on another plane entirely.”

“Yes… yes…”

“You’re in a class of your own. The snobs of Canterlot are miles below you. Your legacy will outlive the Princesses themselves.”

“Oohhh, that’s a good one!” Rarity lets forth a flighty laugh and caresses me all over. “Keep talking, Notey. Keep giving me what I want.”

“It’s not only what you want,” I say in my smoothest tone. I know I have her. “I want to praise you, Rarity. We all do. I’m the only one brave enough to whisper it in your ear, to bury it in your heart. You’re my everything, Rarity. You’re everypony’s everything.”

“Yes!” Rarity grabs both sides of my neck and kisses me hard. “Meet me upstairs,” she breathes past my ear, and gallops away in an instant.

My erection is returning. I crack my neck once, sigh through a smile, and trot leisurely up the stairs to Rarity’s bedroom. I give her plenty of time.

When I push open the door, already ajar, Rarity is lying on her bed in violet, lacey lingerie. Her Cutie Mark is covered in a thin layer of silk, her neck embossed in a sensual choker. All four of her hooves are encased in dark purple leggings. My penis nearly doubles in length.

“I made these for you weeks ago,” Rarity hisses at me. “Why have you made me wait sooo looong?”

I approach her and lean against a bedpost. “May I just stare at you for a moment?”

She giggles. “If you must,” she says, rotating her body to round out her plot. I stare at her swishing tail and notice beads of moisture on it.

“Rarity,” I scold. “Are you already wet?”

She blushes. “What of it? That line about the Princesses was very good.”

“I have better,” I claim, crawling onto the bed.

“Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo, do you now?” She turns and squints at me. Her upper lip is trembling. “We’ll soon find out, dear colt.”

She throws herself at me. Our kisses are loud and long. She reaches down the bed and strokes her hoof up and down my penis. There’s no subtlety to her desire, no promise of slow foreplay. Rarity wants me, and she lets me know it.

“Get on your back!” she practically screeches.

I flop thusly. Rarity climbs over me, spreading her thighs on either side of my ribcage. She slides herself back and forth over my fur, giggling to herself in a low pitch.

“Are you ready, little colt?” Rarity asks in a breathy voice.

“I am, Miss Rarity,” I say.

“Oh, you’re so young,” Rarity says as she reaches behind her flank, aiming my penis at her gooey, white slit. “You’re so, so young, Notey.”

“I must be a child if I’m younger than you,” I say, breathless.

“Ahhh!” Rarity plunges down, enveloping my entire penis in her body. Somehow I grow even longer at the warmth, the smooth bumps along her insides toying with the end of my dick. She laughs maniacally as she grinds her pelvis into mine, using me to stir inside her. “Yeeessss! Finally!”

“I’m the luckiest stallion in the world,” I say. My voice is high, strained. “To make love to such a perfect mare.”

“You better bucking believe it!” Rarity yells at her ceiling, and begins to bounce up and down, back and forth, sliding my entire penis in and out of her body at a perfect diagonal.

I squirm and lurch beneath her. She doesn’t stop, shouting every time she slides down. “Yes! Oh! Yes! Notey! Notey! Oh! Yes! There!” I love her words. I love the eagerness in her voice. I love the way her mane sways around her horn and above her shoulders.

I can feel the soft curves of her plot hit my thighs every time she descends. It excites me so much. Rarity has perfect flanks. I focus on that feeling. I reach out and hold her body between my hooves.

“Yes! Touch me! Touch me everywhere!” Rarity’s voice is reaching a fever pitch.

“I never want to leave your side!” I say. “I’m obsessed with you! I have posters of you in my house! I masturabe to your picture in magazines!”

“Aaaah-ha-ha-ha!” Rarity screams.

I rub my hooves from her neck to her belly. I look at her eyes. They’re wild and shaking.

“You’re so hot, Rarity!” I call out above her voice. “I want nothing more than I want you! I’m so young, Rarity, but I want you! I’ve wanted you for so long!”

“You’re so damn young!” Rarity bounces, bounces, bounces with her tongue out. Her flanks slap loudly against me. She looks so happy.

Rarity is the oldest of her friends by some margin. I often wonder why it bothers her so much. It’s as if age is a disease, and being liked by younger ponies is the cure.

As soon as I realized this, it was easy to seduce her. I don’t know precisely how long ago it was. I remember being very, very nervous; the most nervous I’ve ever been. My success with her gave me more lasting confidence than I ever had in my life. Our first night together was a high I may never stop chasing. I haven’t yet.

I think again of Twilight Sparkle, of her suppressed moans, of the red in her cheeks. And I’m suddenly struck by a sinking feeling. The Princess is so sweet. Rarity, too, is a very good mare. What am I doing to them? What does the Princess want to tell me? Would the truth break their hearts? Of course it would. It breaks mine everyday.

“What’s wrong, darling?” Rarity asks. She stops moving. Beads of sweat on her brow glisten in what I suddenly realize is candlelight. Her magic has lit several candles around the bed.

I’m startled. “Huh?”

Rarity points between her legs. My penis has softened considerably ― it’s drooping out of her.

“Oh…” I wince.

“Was I… was I not loud enough?” Rarity asks between deep breaths.

“No, Rarity, I… I’m sorry.” I sigh and bring a hoof over my eyes.

Rarity sniffs. “Oh. Oh, I see.” She lets me plop out of her and falls to one side, draping herself over most of the bedspread dejectedly. “I understand. No need to say more.” Her voice tightens with every word.

“Rarity, please,” I say, rising on an elbow. “It’s not what you think.”

“Oh, isn’t it?” She sniffs again, and chokes a little on her own breath. “It isn’t that you find me disgusting, then? That you need to concentrate on some other mare in your mind just to keep it up? And then, as soon as I bore you sleep, as soon as you show your true feelings sans effort, I’m supposed to believe that it’s not. What. I. Think?” She burst into tears.

I swallow hard. Rarity presses her face into the mattress, crying hard.

“Rarity… that isn’t true,” I say softly. “It isn’t that at all. I wasn’t falling asleep.”

“Oh, wonderful, then!” She bawls. “In your waking hours, the effort to imagine me as desirable was just too much strain!”

“No. It’s not that, either.” I take a deep breath through my nose. “I don’t feel worthy of you, Rarity.”

“Pshaw!” Rarity rolled her eyes so hard I think they might unscrew and drop out of their sockets. “You can drop the act now, darling. I’m not stupid, you know. I realize all those things you say are just to make me happy.” She pokes at the lingerie around her waist. “No need to pretend now. We’re both fooling me. I’m too old to be sexy.”

I shake my head. “I’m not pretending anything. Just now? I was thinking about how disappointed you’ll be in me someday. How bored you’ll get.” I drop my chin closer to the bed. “I’m not worthy of you, Rarity. None of this is an act. I know you think it is, but… you are a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, interesting, attractive mare, and I’m just… me.” I gesture to myself with a bland, blue hoof. “I’m not famous or talented or charming. I don’t know how this happened between us, really, but I know how lucky I am.” Tears jump to my eyes. “And I can’t help but wonder how long that luck will last.”

“Oh, Notey! Darling colt!” Rarity sits up instantly. The tears on her cheeks are dry when she holds me, nuzzles her cheek against mine. “I had no idea, darling. You should have told me.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. My mind races, connecting dots. “That’s why it’s been so long since I’ve come by. I’ve been so nervous that you won’t want to see me. That one day you’ll pretend we don’t even know each other.”

“No, my darling, no!” Rarity hugs me tighter. “Never! Notey, I must be honest, you are not my sole escort. I’ve known a number of lovers over my… years.” She suddenly nibbles on my ear. “But you? You are charming, my dear. You’re sexy and exciting and very complimentary. You make me feel sexy and young and… how did you put it?”

I smile. “Beautiful, intelligent, sexy, interesting―”

“Mmmmm…”

“―attractive, famous, delicious, irresistable―”

“Yesss, yeeeesss…”

I swiftly turn her onto her back. She gasps.

“―soft, fragrant, noble, tight―”

I push inside her. She cries forth another high, warbling laugh.

“―noisy, dirty, lovely, perfect―”

“Do me now, Notey!” she whisper-yells. “Do me fast! Oh, please, take me here!”

I keep rambling compliments as I begin to move my hips, holding myself above Rarity’s growing smile while I thrust again and again into her hungry pussy. She’s laughing, screaming, nodding, moaning. I love every second of it, and count my lucky stars.

A minute of intertwined pleasure later, I yank myself out from deep inside her and cum. It doesn’t go very far, pooling on her belly just above her clitoris. She wiggles and squeals regardless, even as some drips onto her bedcovers.

“Sorr―” I try to apologize.

Rarity pulls me close. I wince as my own cum squishes between us, but her delighted laughter and warm embrace is enough to rescue the moment. I lean into her chest and breathe easy as she kisses the top of my head. I feel her magic playing with my tail.

“It was wonderful, Notey,” she whispers softly. “So wonderful to have you back.” She sniffs again, but continues in a happy voice. “You need never worry, darling. I will always be here for you.”

I nod; my cheek feels the soft fur of her immaculate chest. “Thank you, Rarity.”

We quickly bathe together in her astounding bathroom. She’s playful. She tries to hide her face when her makeup comes off, but I make her kiss me instead and tell her how beautiful she is. It’s no lie: Rarity looks amazing in any light. Still, she is eager to reapply her makeup, and I wait in her room while she goes downstairs to make sure nopony is waiting at the door.

I listen from the stairway. I don’t have to try very hard. Rarity opens the front door with a loud, “Aaahhh, Sweetie Belle! Shouldn’t you be on your way to school?”

“Uhh, it’s Saturday, Rarity.” Her little sister’s voice makes me nervous. She sounds like she owns the place. “I want to spend the day with you!”

Rarity’s silence is a little too long. “Oh! Well, wonderful! Let’s go off to Sugarcube Corner then and have some breakfast, hmm?”

“Really?” Sweetie Belle’s voice cracks. “You mean it? You don’t have any important projects today?”

“Ehhh, well… yes, I do,” bumbles Rarity, “but they can wait for a few hours, don’t you think?”

“Yay! Wait… what about your store?”

“We’ll open in the afternoon!” Rarity laughs awkwardly. “Now come along, Sweetie Belle, we ought to hurry or there will be a line.”

They leave together and I hear the door close. I wait: all is quiet downstairs. With a sigh, I descend, and check myself in one of Rarity’s many mirrors.

I am immediately disappointed. Compared to the mare I just bedded, I am nothing less than a monster. Pole-straight limbs with no sign of muscle like unto the powerful Macintosh. Messy mane hiding no horn like unto the local doctor. A bare, blue back sporting no wings like unto the handsome Thunderlane.

I didn’t lie much to Rarity. She really is beautiful, smart, and sexy as heck. The worst lies came from her: I’m not charming or honest or special at all. I’m not worthy of Princess Twilight or Rarity. I’m not worthy of any of them.

The guilt returns full force. I feel sick to my stomach. But fortunately, Rarity’s little sister had planted an idea in my head.

It is Saturday: school is out.

I know just where to go to mask my guilt in pleasure.