Big Mac woke up. Like the vast majority of his weekends, he started this one in an unfamiliar bed. He had a horrible habit of getting drunk out of his mind and then going home with an equally drunk mare.

Mac slowly moved his front right hoof and realized he was currently cuddling the mystery mare; her head nuzzled into his neck and his front hooves around her hips. He had managed to somehow not realize he was intertwined with a mare, possibly due to the feeling of a rhino trying to barge it's way out of his skull. He rubbed his hoof up and down her side, to get an idea of her curves. From the catalogue he had made in his head, she seemed to be a total MILF, but not one he had any experience with. She was probably from out of town. Mac was proud that he could give her the best welcome he could think for anypony could get.

As he continued feeling her flank, her hooves tightened around his back and she rubbed the side of her head up the side of his neck. She sleepily breathed in deeply, and sighed into his ear. He felt immediately invigorated, the hangover he was dealing with taking a rain check as he pulled the mare into a deep, passionate kiss.

She began softly moaning into the kiss as he opened his mouth slightly, letting his tongue stroke her lips in soft motions. She reciprocated, pushing her tongue into his mouth and gently stroking the roof of his mouth. Mac snorted in shock, his breath tickling her cheek. As they continued the kiss, she pushed herself onto him, their chests resting together, raising and dropping as one. Mac pushed his hips up, rubbing against her passionately.

As they pulled slowly away, their lips lingering together a little, they slowly opened their eyes.

"M... mom?"

Mac was looking into the eyes of his mother. The mother he had thought he'd lost many years ago, who he thought was gone forever.

"Uhhh...." She replied, scrambling to escape the covers she had tangled herself in during the shock. She tried to get together her items, "You're in the 'Stable Relations' motel, tip the housekeeper." She ran out of the room, leaving Big Macintosh to ponder what was happening.

"Mom...?"

Author's Note

Based on a tweet by Wuten.
This was going to be a separate fic, but I couldn't pad it out enough. it fits here, I think.