Directive

by Lucario247

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 1652

Ponyville is in shambles. And one pony knows how to help.

Ponyville is in shambles. Ponies are complaining left and right about problems they have. Everypony is so caught up in their own situations, that they can't help each other. Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle has the answer.

Build a robot that helps everypony. Duh.

This story isn't meant to be taken 100% seriously, mainly for the lols.
Please enjoy!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-13 07:26:34 UTC

Part 1

MLP FiM Fanfic: Directive

By: Lucario247

She thought that she was going to go insane from all the complaints. From silly things like branches in the streets, to sheer crumbling of structure, the demands and accusations never ended.

"If I didn't already have white hair, every single strand would be whitening right now." thought the Mayor of Ponyville in exasperation.

She needed to find a way to fix all these problems, while not causing a complete overflow in debt. It seemed like any kind of structural damage that had befallen any of the buildings of Ponyville, could easily be fixed by somepony that was handy. But everypony was so caught up in their own problems, that they couldn't help others.

"Miss Mayor? It seems that the mailmare has come in. We've received...several more complaints..." said Pauline, the Mayor's secretary.

"Oh joy..."

"It appears that the Apple family's barn is in need of major repairs, and the roofs of the west estates are still in need of mending." replied the desk mare glumly.

"Has Rainbow Dash cleared the storm clouds yet?" said the Mayor, hoping for at least a scrap of good news today.

"She says she's trying her best, but it doesn't seem likely that she'll finish before the storm hits. If anything, she's only delaying the inevitable."

The Mayor sighed, "Thank you Pauline..."

The desk mare nodded nervously and closed the door to the Mayor's office. She again sighed as the weight of the situation seemed to grow heavier.

"If only somepony, who doesn't have any current problems, would volunteer to help everypony who needs help." she thought.

She rolled the idea around in her head for a while. Then she realized there was somepony that lacked any current problems. Somepony who could easily solve the current situation Ponyville was in.

The Mayor jumped out of her chair and hastily pulled a coat onto her back. She flung the doors open and quickly made her way to the door of the Town Hall. Pauline jumped in surprise at the Mayor's sudden purpose.

"M-miss?! Where are you going?!"

"I'm going out to find a solution!" said the Mayor with much confidence.

"So you're saying, you want me to help everypony else in Ponyville?" said a stunned Twilight Sparkle

"Precisely!" said the Mayor, hopefully.

"Well... Miss Mayor. I'm flattered that you would bestow such an important and vital task upon me, but I'm afraid I cannot  complete the task at the moment."

The Mayor's ears flopped down on her head in disappointment.

"It's not like I don't want to help, it's just that I'm currently occupied with an extremely urgent goal of mine."

Before the Mayor could ask what, Spike, Twilight's number one assistant appeared in the doorway.

"Twilight..." the dragon said in disapproval

"What?" she said innocently

"Book appreciation week can wait. If somepony needs your help, you should help them."

The unicorn's jaw dropped in disbelief at what Spike had just said. The Mayor hoped that Spike's logic would get through to Twilight.

"How can you say that, Spike?!"

"Twilight. You have a whole week to appreciate books! Don't be selfish!"

Twilight let out a growl of stubbornness. She turned and trotted into the library, grumbling something along the lines of "Books need to be appreciated". Spike rolled his eyes.

"Sorry about that. She sure loves her books. She'll begin as soon as possible!" said Spike with a reassuring nod.

The Mayor's face lit up instantly, "Oh I cannot thank you enough for this! Here's a list of all the things that need to be done."

She pulled out a, rather long, list of problems that ponies needed help with. Spike's eyes bulged at the sight of the long price of parchment. Never had he seen a list so long. He gingerly took it in his claws, making sure to not sneeze.

"Um, I guess, thank you...?" he said

She nodded and began trotting away. Spike closed the door. He walked over to where Twilight was sulking.

"Spike! You shouldn't have accepted such a burden for me!"

"Burden? You're just helping some ponies out." he sad as he held the list out for her to take.

She gawked at the size, "How can I finish all this before the end of the week?!"

"Twilight. You've saved Equestria from eternal night AND eternal chaos, not to mention other times you've saved Ponyville from disaster! You can handle helping a few ponies."

"Why can't the Mayor just get somepony who's usually helping everypony to do this?!" she began pacing the room, "Like Big Macintosh?!"

Spike unfurled the list, "It says here that the Apple family's barn is damaged. He's probably helping with repairs."

"We just need somepony that will always be there for everypony else. Somepony who won't get distracted by their own needs until they solve another's!" Twilight concluded

"You're right! That's probably why the Mayor chose you, Twilight!" Spike said, triumphant that he had made his point clear.

"You know what?" said Twilight as the realization dawned on her, "You're right, Spike! That's exactly why the Mayor chose me. She wants me to provide a solution to the predicament that Ponyville is in! And I know just the way to solve it!"

Spike beamed proudly at her agreement and realization.

"I'll create some sort of artificial pony that will repair and help Ponyville!"

Spike nearly fell over at Twilight's exclamation.

"W-wha? What did you just say?!"

"Book Appreciation Week will have to wait! Spike! Bring me a copy of Rambling Robotics and Enigmatic Engineering!"

Spike, after recovering from his initial shock, epicly face palmed and shook his head.

"It's gonna be another one of those days..." he muttered.

Applejack was growing antsy with every second that passed. She needed to be at the farm, helping Mac and Applebloom with the barn. Upon observation, it appeared that all of her other friends needed to be elsewhere. Fortunately, the pony that had summoned them appeared.

"Twilight! Listen, Ah need to git back to the farm! Everypony there needs mah help to repair the barn."

"And I need to get back to cloud control!" Rainbow Dash's voice cracked.

"I need to repair the birdhouses..."

"The Cakes are remodeling the Twins' room!"

"An unsatisfied customer sent back their order, and I need to redo it!"

Twilight raised a hoof to silence her friends, "Don't worry! I just need a sample of everypony's hair and then you can go!"

They all stopped talking, confused about Twilight's request.

"What?! Why?!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash

Twilight sighed before she took a large intake of breath and began her explanation.

"I am creating an artificial pony life form. This robot, so to speak, will assist any pony that is involved in any personal dilemma. I need samples of your DNA so I can create an artificial intelligence chip. Your attributes will become the robot's attributes."

Her friends blinked in confusion.

"Sorry, English please?" said Applejack

Twilight grumbled as she sought out a way to explain with less advanced vocabulary.

"I'm taking your hair, and cloning it, and putting it in a robot."

They were still confused, but it was probably just a Twilight thing. One by one they gave their samples to the unicorn. Rainbow Dash was the final pony to offer her hair.

"Um, I'm afraid that I'll need a sample from each color, Rainbow." Twilight said as sincerely as possible

Rainbow Dash groaned as she allowed Twilight to pluck five more strands of hair from her mane. After receiving each sample, Twilight bid her friends farewell and scampered downstairs, into her lab. She laid the pitri dishes that contained the hair onto a small table and trotted over to the machine.

It was built to resemble a female earth pony. It's body was a sky blue, while its short, artificial mane and tale were a darker blue. The dark panels, that would be its eyes when it  becomes operational, held small LED lights that would change with blinking and expressions. The robot was connected to several tubes and machines that monitored its articulation and temperature. Inside the machine was a programmed list of all the current problems in Ponyville and a database with everyponies face and name in it.

Twilight focused back on the task at hand, she had an AI to create.

"Spike! Is the chip in?"

"Yes! It's supposed to make a clicking sound, right?"

"Correct."

Twilight stood in front of the robot. Everything was perfect. The AI chip had been tested and properly programmed with its directive. The robot's joints were well oiled and ready for operation. Spike sat on the robot's back, sliding the AI chip into the back of its head.

"Alright Spike! Come down here, so we can activate her."

Spike crawled off of its back and made his way next to Twilight. He still couldn't believe he was helping her with her featherbrained idea. Twilight put her hoof over a small button on a remote.

"Moment of truth..." she said

She pressed the button.

A great blue light flashed under the robot's hooves. Tubes detached themselves from the robot's body and created a hissing sound as steam poured from them. Then all was quiet.

Suddenly, the eyes of the robot blinked on with a soft blip. It's head articulated around as it's blue eyes scanned the room, literally. It caught site of Twilight and Spike. It made a small whirring as its mouth stretched into a smile.

"Salutations..." it paused, as if trying to remember their names, "Twilight Sparkle! Salutations...Spike! It is a great and honorable pleasure to meet you."

Twilight frowned. Something was wrong.

"Say something else."

The robot blinked at the command.

"Something else."

Twilight pinpointed the problem. The voice was definitely not female.

"Not to disown your sense of fashion, but this body seems rather feminine." said the robot as it observed itself.