Cross-Vision

by Waxworks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Doctor Whooves, Sad, Original Character, Horror, Other, Derpy Hooves, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 11547

Derpy has always had strange visions. She got used to them, but lately something strange has happened with them. No matter what, Derpy can handle it! She's tough!

Derpy "Muffins" Hooves has always had vision trouble. Her crossed eyes are troublesome enough, but she's had visions since she's been a foal.
They're not too bad. She can't identify ponies on sight alone, and finding specific objects is hard, but despite how strange things look, she gets by. She's tough, after all.
This time, a strange pony has appeared during her visions, and she's not sure what he wants. He asks about strange things, and he's real mean. Derpy can handle it, right?

Published 2017-08-11 02:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-11 02:00:07 UTC

Strange Sights

Derpy flew over the streets of Ponyville, weaving a crooked path through the air as she buzzed from house to house. Her wings were strong, and her limbs were stout. The only part of her that caused her any grief at all were her eyes, but that was a minor complaint. She had survived many an accident, and she expected she would survive many more. She was more worried about any of the unfortunate ponies on the receiving end of her accidents. Many of them hadn’t had a lifetime of incidents to harden them up.

Derpy whipped around a tree as it loomed into view without warning. She overcompensated for the turn and went into a spin, hurtling out of control. She tried to straighten out, and succeeded, just in time to crash through an open door. She skidded across the floor of Sugarcube Corner, the familiar colours surrounding her telling her where she was.

When she came to a halt, she checked around and under herself to make sure she hadn’t hit anypony, then pulled herself upright.

Without missing a beat, Derpy pulled a box out of her bag and placed it on the counter. “Package for Mr. and Mrs. Cake!”

“Oh, thank you Miss Muffins. You’re always so punctual, if a little rough,” Mrs. Cake said.

Mrs. Cake opened the package right at the counter, checking to make sure everything was intact. It was, of course. Derpy always packed everything with a heavy amount of padding to make sure it survived her travels as well as she did. After the first few times, she knew she’d need to compensate if she wanted to keep her delivery job.

“Are you alright, Miss Muffins?” Mrs. Cake asked once she’d verified the contents were in acceptable shape.

“Of course! As always!” Derpy said.

“I know. I just have to check. It still gives me a bit of a scare,” Mrs. Cake said.

“I’ll be just fine Mrs. Cake. It hasn’t stopped me yet,” Derpy said.

“Of course. You have a good day Miss Muffins!” Mrs. Cake said, waving goodbye as she turned back to her kitchen.

Derpy waved goodbye and trotted out the door. She flexed her wings, did a little practice hop, then leaped into the air. She took easily to the open sky, flying in great swooping arcs as she made her way back to her office.

She arrived mostly without incident, only buzzing a couple of ponies a little too close. They shouted at her, but she paid them no mind, merely apologizing with a quick ‘sorry’ before continuing. She couldn’t stop to apologize every time something like that happened or she’d never get anywhere.

She went inside, dropped off her delivery saddlebags and clocked out, locking the place up before stepping outside. As she stepped through the door, she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her, and shook her head to clear it. She looked up once it was gone and got a sinking feeling.

It had happened again.

The road was a twisting and black trail of pitch leading down the street. The trees were gnarled and hollow, their branches grasping claws leaning over the roads and houses. The ponies were faceless shades, their outlines indistinct in the world, and hard to discern against the backdrop of this dark and angry environment.

Derpy frowned and decided to walk home instead of fly this time. She knew the way home by touch, and could trust her hooves to take her there.

It wasn’t a very long walk, but the visions made it difficult. She kept bumping into ponies she could hardly see, and following the edges of the buildings with a hoof, although safe, had the pony-shades asking her if she was alright.

She assumed they must be actual ponies, because none of them had ever tried to harm her, but she had never figured out why things sometimes looked the way they did.

It had happened ever since she was a filly. She would experience a little bit of dizziness, and then things would go strange. Nothing sounded different. She could hear all the normal sounds of a busy Ponyville around her, and nothing felt different. When she would grasp an angry-looking branch of a tree that had been a bushy deciduous branch, she could feel the leaves and flower-buds. It was all appearances.

She’d gotten used to it.

When she was a filly, she would break out into crying fits over it, which alarmed her parents. Everything would be fine, she’d be having fun with friends, family, or be at school, when suddenly things would change, and she would just break out into tears for reasons nopony could understand.

Once she was older, she’d gone to see a psychologist about it, and he had diagnosed her with schizophrenia. She’d been willing to agree, since real things appeared to be different during these episodes, but it hadn’t sat right with her. She knew what was real, it just… looked different. Changed shaped almost, even though the shape was the same, but appeared to be different.

Derpy followed her hooves, closing her eyes sometimes to walk by feel and not have to look at anything. She stayed close to the building so as to avoid as many ponies as possible. Most of them ignored her, as they usually did. Nopony wanted to get involved with the confused and clumsy mare.

It wasn’t her fault. Half the time it was because she had no depth perception thanks to her eyes, and the other half was because things didn’t look as they should, so size and shape were constantly changing. Ponyville was only static two-thirds of the time for her. The rest was a changing landscape of imagination and Celestia knows what else.

She survived, though. She was tough.

Derpy made it home without much incident, recognizing her door from feel alone. She had carved a picture of a muffin on the front so that she could recognize it with her hooves when her eyes failed her. On days like today, she was glad she did. She opened the door with some difficulty and slipped inside.

Indoors was quite a bit worse than outside for her. Inside buildings the shadows always shifted and moved in an odd way, making her uncomfortable. In all her years of living with this problem the moving shadows were the one thing that continued to bother her into adult life. It always made her feel like somepony was watching her.

Derpy took off her uniform and placed it on what felt like the couch, then went into the kitchen to make some supper. The food in the fridge looked strange, but she found what she hoped were carrots, grabbed something that smelled like half an onion, and nabbed something that was either more carrots or celery. She pulled some earthy-feeling things from the pantry that were similar to potatoes, and grabbed some spices that she couldn’t identify from the shelf. Once everything was together, she started a pot of black water boiling on the stove, and sliced up the vegetables, dropping them into the pot.

Once everything was in, she opened the container of spices and sniffed it. It smelled good, but smell wasn’t always the taste. She had no idea what it was from smell alone, but she took a chance and sprinkled some into the water, hoping against hope they would go well together.

As it simmered, she went to go find her book; The Princess of the Rings. It was recommended to her by Lyra, who said it was about an earth pony who volunteers to take a ring to a volcano. Derpy wasn’t sure why that was so exciting, but Lyra hadn’t been able to contain herself with her accolades for it.

She found it after about half an hour of searching. It had taken on the appearance of a cube of pock-marked brick. It still felt like a book, and it opened up, but its appearance to her at the moment was not at all book-like, and made finding it hard. She opened it up, eager to continue reading. She had just reached the part where the four earth ponies had just left the Shire and the evil horse-thing was sniffing about trying to find them.

Upon opening it to her bookmark, Derpy was sad to see that the words were missing. She was sure they were there, but at the moment they didn’t look like words; just blobs swimming about the pages.

Derpy closed the book, set it down on what she hoped was the coffee table, and stepped back outside while she waited for her soup to cook. She liked her vegetables with a bit of crisp left to them, so she had to time it just right. Couldn’t go too far.

Once outside she closed her eyes so that she couldn’t see anything and just sat and listened to Ponyville going about its business. She lived near the edge of town, so she didn’t hear many ponies, but there was a lot of wildlife. The birds were singing, bees were buzzing, and crickets were chirping. At least it sounded lovely, even if things looked horrible right now.

Derpy’s reverie was interrupted by a loud clattering coming from beside her house. She clucked her tongue and opened her eyes. The world was still odd, but she knew what the sound was. She’d had dogs get into her trash in recent weeks, and she’d had to try to get better bins for them. It had seemed to work, but now they were back. She walked around the side of her house. It sounded like just one, but a big one.

She turned the corner to see the hind end of something sticking out of the trash. It looked like it had paws, and its fur appeared to be like that of a brush; bristly and stiff. Its tail looked to be short, but it stuck upward its flank. It was stuck halfway in the trash, the lid removed and laying upside-down beside the bin.

“Uuuugh! How many times do I have to run you off. How did you even open the latch on the trash anyway?” Derpy said in frustration.

She grabbed the broom she kept outside for just such occasions and brandished it at the possible-dog. She smacked the bristles against the animal’s flank, hoping to startle it. It worked. The animal jumped back, pulling its front out of the garbage can and regarding her.

Derpy was used to being startled by her odd visions and the way they changed things. This one had managed it. The animal’s stiff fur looked to cover it all the way up to the next, but had left the head completely naked. It didn’t appear to have lip, and its teeth were constantly bared, sharp and prominent.

Despite her fear of the way it looked, Derpy wasn’t to be deterred by appearances. They were worth only as much as the actions behind them. If it attacked, she could just fly out of reach, but she was certain it was merely a dog that looked menacing. She swung her broom at it again, this time whacking it on the face.

“Shoo! Get out of there! I don’t need you strewing my trash all across the neighborhood! I get in enough trouble as it is!” Derpy shouted, stamping her hind hooves to scare it off.

It worked. Her noise, shocking but not harmful broom strikes, and her yelling, all succeeded in scaring the animal away. It ran off into the trees nearby, leaving her to clean up the mess it had left behind.

Derpy picked up her trash, some of it appearing to wiggle and squirm as she put it back inside the trash bin. One actually felt like it was squirming and she reminded herself to wash her hooves. It had probably been covered in maggots and she couldn’t tell. She looked up to make sure the animal was running off, and then looked back at the gross filth she was moving. It was nasty, but she could deal with it. She was tough.

Once the trash looked like it was all back in the bin, Derpy fastened the lid back on and double-checked the latch to be certain it was firmly in place. Once satisfied it would prove a challenge for even the most clever of animals, she trotted back inside to check on her soup.

The soup was bubbling away, and the smell of boiled carrot filled the air. She washed her hooves in the sink, then pulled out a ladle and scooped up a spoonful of soup. The utensil picked nothing up, and she gave it a once-over with her hoof, only to discover that she had pulled out the whisk instead. She giggled, dug in the drawer until she felt the scoop-shaped end of the ladle and pulled that out, then spooned up some soup.

It tasted good, but nothing couldn’t be improved by adding a little bit of garlic. She grabbed the knife again and went hunting for some garlic. She’d have to locate it entirely by smell and touch, because everything looked stupid and different while her vision was like this. It was one of the reasons ponies kept calling her stupid, because she couldn’t identify ponies or things like this, but she tried her best. She dug in the pantry for something that felt like garlic, hunting through the potatoes, onions, beets, and other tubers, trying to find the garlic.

She cursed herself quietly for not replacing the hook in the pantry after it had broken. That would have made this so much easier. She fussed about for a few minutes, grasping at all the suspicious, round objects in her pantry, but was unable to locate with confidence a single clove of garlic.

Derpy straightened up out of the pantry, stretching as she stood up. “Rats. That would have made my soup so much better.”

“Is this what you were looking for?” A voice said from behind her.

Derpy jumped and whirled to face the speaker. “Who are you and what are you doing in my house?”

The figure looked exactly like any other pony with her current vision: A shadow of a pony, no mane or tail visible, just a faceless shape akin to those found in Rarity’s boutique. A ponnequin. The hoof held out toward her was holding a ball-shaped thing, offering it to her.

Derpy didn’t let down her guard, though. She’d been on the receiving end of bullies her whole life because of her eyes, and sometimes they had followed her home. It had sounded like a stallion, which was doubly threatening, but he was in for a surprise if he thought she was going to be easy prey. She was tough! She had to be.

“I apologize, I saw you dealing with that animal outside, and wondered how a lone mare could so casually stand up to something like that. With merely a broom, no less! You left the door open, so I stuck my head in to say hello, but you were busy in the pantry. Judging from the smell, I figured you were looking for spices, and garlic would be the perfect addition to what it smells like you have. The garlic was on the table, by the way,” the stallion said.

Derpy didn’t respond immediately, parsing his words with care. He had seen her handling the animal, which was the most likely event to have happened. She had indeed fought off an animal with a broom. She didn’t know what kind of animal it was, so she didn’t know how right he was to be so impressed as to want to introduce himself. And to come into her house to brazenly! No, something was off.

Derpy kept her stance low and wide, and moved slowly toward her utensils. “I think you should leave.”

“Right now? I haven’t even introduced myself. Please?” He took a step forward, holding out the garlic to her.

Derpy pressed back against the counter, and raised a hoof toward the cutting board, reaching for her knife. She kept an eye on the stallion-shade and his outstretched hoof. He hadn’t pulled back after she expressed alarm, which meant he didn’t care one whit about her or her well-being. He was only after one thing, and she could guess what that was.

Derpy grabbed the knife and swung it in front of her in wide sweeps. “I don’t know what you think you’re going to get in this house, and I don’t know if I did leave the door open or not, but you have no right to barge in here! Get out!”

He didn’t move, not even when her knife came within inches of his outstretched hoof. Derpy kept it pointed at him, and started to move around him toward the door. If he wasn’t scared of a knife, he should at least be scared of other ponies catching him trying to do anything to her.

Derpy felt a wave of dizziness as she moved, and she stumbled. She heard hurried hoofsteps, and her vision swam. In panic, she lashed out with her knife. She felt a pain on her foreleg and then hit the ground. As her vision cleared, she saw the stallion was gone, everything was normal, and her leg was bleeding from a knife wound.

“Damn it,” She muttered.

Derpy picked herself up from the floor and limped over to the front door. It was open, as the pony had said. She looked down the road both directions to look for anypony skulking about, but saw nothing. She shut and locked the door, then hobbled to the sink to clean her cut. She washed it out, dried it off, and pulled out one of the many first-aid kits she kept around the house. She was tough, but she knew herself better than anypony, and even tough ponies have accidents.

Once the bandage was on her hoof, she pulled her soup off the stove, wiped up the blood, dropped her knife in the sink, and pulled out a bowl for supper. She grabbed her book now that she could read it, and read while she ate. Her soup had unfortunately suffered due to her unexpected visitor, and was no longer as firm as she liked it, and it lacked the garlic she had wanted, but it was still good.

After eating, Derpy was still paranoid about that uninvited guest, so she checked around her tiny house for any other signs of forced entry. The front door was open so that was probably where he’d come in, but if he came in once, he might try again. Especially at night when she was asleep. She checked the windows to make sure they were locked, and the front and back doors. Once she was happy everything was locked up tight, she turned in for the night, climbing into her little cot and curling up in the blankets.

Unknown Faces

Derpy slept well, and in the morning opened her eyes to find that once again her vision had gone strange. She went about her morning ritual without much fuss. It was as normal as things would be for her, and getting upset about it wasn’t going to change it. She hadn’t yet found anypony who could help her fix it, nor a way to avoid it happening or to switch her vision back on command. It was just how things were for her, and she had learned to live with it.

She could handle it. She was tough.

Breakfast consisted of a muffin, which she loved to pieces. That was why everypony called her that. Mrs. Cake frequently sent her muffins free of charge for all her deliveries, so she had a steady supply of them, and she shared them with ponies she visited with. She couldn’t tell what flavor this one was by sight, so she bit into it and was pleased to discover it was banana nut. Not the best, but still good.

Once breakfast was over she hunted down her uniform, tripping over the sofa in her quest, but she was dressed and out the door in a rather timely manner. She couldn’t tell the time exactly, but the red orb in the sky was the usual replacement for the sun, so she guessed she had maybe fifteen minutes? She always erred on the side of ‘late’ to avoid just such a problem, so she’d have to fly to work.

She didn’t like flying when her vision was like this, but if they had wanted ponies to walk deliveries, they would have hired earth ponies. Pegasi were just faster since they didn’t have to manage things like buildings being in the way or hills slowing ponies down.

She could manage. She was tough.

Derpy flapped her wings and gave a little hop before taking off. It was hard to see where things were while her vision was like this. Especially other ponies. Their shades weren’t obvious in colour, so she had to watch out. She buzzed another Pegasus, their wings nicking each other because she hadn’t seen the pony until the very last second. They didn’t crash, thank Celestia.

Derpy looked down at Ponyville as she flew. The dark and winding road she only saw in this version of sight wound like a snake through the alleys and streets of the town. She always felt like it was going somewhere specific, but she hadn’t ever wanted to follow it to find out. She looked at the shape of the city to determine where her office was. It was right on a specific corner, so she could identify it by shape if not by name.

She swooped down in a whirling loop, frantically avoiding the other delivery ponies who flew out of the building. She could barely register them at the last second, but they knew her well enough to give her a wide berth, so none of them hit her.

The ground was not so easy to avoid. It didn’t move, it just waited there for her to hit it, the impact sending up a cloud of dust. Her depth perception—or lack thereof—was still a hurdle, even with her vision like this.

Derpy picked herself up, her uniform now more disheveled than before and covered in dust, and trotted inside. “I’m here!”

“Ah, oy Derpy, we got anudda delivery for da Cakes. Dey likes you, so you gedda deliver it,” Crafty Crate said. “After dat, it’s just some small packages around town a’ight?”

“Yes sir, Mr. Crate sir!” Derpy said. Mr. Crate was easy to identify even when she couldn’t properly see him. His speech gave him away in a second. Other ponies were harder depending on how well she knew them.

Derpy grabbed her saddlebags from her locker and wandered to the room where the packages were kept. All of hers were placed in a section cordoned off so that she’d know which ones she was supposed to take without having to read labels. Crafty Crate had done that for her so that she would stop taking the wrong packages. Ever since he’d created this system of divvying out packages, mistakes had gone down for everypony, not just her. It kept everypony’s responsibility sectioned off from everypony else’s.

Derpy stuffed the smaller packages in her saddlebag, and hefted the one she assumed was for the Cakes in her hooves. She flapped her wings to keep herself up, and stumbled out the front door of the office.

“Good luck dere Derpy,” Crafty Crate said.

“Will do, sir!” she answered.

Once outside, she did an awkward little hop, then leaped into the air, wings flapping hard to take her up. She zeroed in on her target across town, not too far away from a big ugly building that she assumed must be the Princess of friendship’s castle. Derpy took off toward her target, clutching the package to her torso.

As she flew, she looked down at the dark, winding road passing through Ponyville. As she watched it began to undulate, the black stones it was composed of shifting in her sight as though passing through town like a serpent coiling through rocks. It wasn’t unusual, the dark road she always saw didn’t seem to have ever done anything throughout her life, but it was always there, even though it matched no other landmarks in Ponyville.

Derpy stopped to watch from above as the road changed position, slithering its black form underneath several houses and settling into a new shape. It now touched main street, dozens of ponies trampling over it as they went about their business, none the wiser to its presence. Save Derpy herself.

Derpy looked down from above and gave a small smile. She waved to the road as it looked far more comfortable in its current position. She had been told to stop ponifying inanimate objects, but it was hard when they moved and shifted for her just as much as ponies did. She was an adult now. She could do it if she wanted to.

She noticed out of the corner of her eye, a pony-shape walking along the black road in the alleys of Ponyville. She wasn’t sure what road that was when her vision was normal, nor was she sure what buildings the pony was near. However, as the pony turned and meandered along, she was positive that they had a distinct direction to their walk, and they were following the black road. They were even following the direction of the fake stones as they shifted and writhed along the path.

That wasn’t normal. As far as Derpy knew she was the only pony who could see them, and she had common sense enough to avoid following the dark road. Who knows where it led to? It could go to Tartarus as far as she knew, but she didn’t want to find out if it was or wasn’t safe. Derpy looked over at Sugarcube Corner, then back at the pony wandering through the alleys along the black road. She made her decision. Sugarcube Corner could wait.

Derpy dove down into the back alleys of Ponyville, the area appearing much darker than usual because of her vision problem, and landed in front of the pony. She set the package down next to her and held out a hoof.

“Stop!” Derpy said.

The pony obeyed, and tilted its head, looking at her. “Oh, hello again Miss Muffins. I thought I’d catch your attention this way.”

“Hello ‘again’? Who are you?” Derpy asked.

“You really don’t remember me? It was just last night I tried to introduce myself,” the stallion said. “As I recall, you chased me out with a knife.”

Derpy frowned, but after a moment realized what he was talking about. “You’re the stallion that broke into my house last night!”

He chuckled. “Not the brightest bulb in the box, are you?”

Derpy bristled, puffing out her cheeks. “That’s beside the point! I just came to tell you to stop going where you’re going.”

“Oh? And why would that be?” the stallion said.

Derpy opened her mouth, but realized that whatever she could say would sound crazy. While it was true the stallion seemed to want to get her attention, which might mean he could see the same things she could, something about him seemed… off. She didn’t want to tell him too much about herself.

“It’s just… bad,” Derpy said.

“Bad like, how?” He took a step closer to her.

“I can’t explain it, but it’s bad.” Derpy took a step back, but realized her package would be closer to him than her, and it was her job to protect it, so she stood her ground, straightening herself up.

“How bad? Why do you think that? What did you see that would make you stop a complete stranger to warn him not to continue walking down old, abandoned alleys?” the pony said.

He was right in front of Derpy now, and he was big. Bigger than a normal stallion. Had he always been that big? She felt tiny compared to him, but she didn’t back down. She had to stay with the package. She was tough. She could take it.

The stallion reached out a hoof, and as it got closer Derpy felt like spiders were crawling over her where his hoof was approaching. She wanted to pull back, but she was frozen by a little bit of fear, and a little bit of stubbornness.

“Derpy? Where’z you at? You grabbed the wrong packages by mistake! Somepony said they saw youz fly down here!”

Derpy’s head swam, and she blinked. When her vision cleared, things were normal again, and the stallion was missing. This was confusing.

“I’m down here, Mr. Crate!” Derpy called.

Crafty Crate flew down from above, carrying a package, with his own saddlebags full of smaller ones. He thumped to the ground next to her with a frown on his face, and plopped the package down in front of her. It did indeed have the Cake name on it, compared to hers, which had Rarity written on it.

“Youz alright Derpy? Youz sittin’ down here in an alley, and youz a little more scattabrained than uzwal,” Crafty Crate asked.

Derpy didn’t look up. She wasn’t alright. She was confused, and having a pony following her and trying to get her attention didn’t make her very comfortable. That stallion was nowhere nearby, either, having taken advantage of her dizziness to disappear before Mr. Crate could show up.

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Them’s the woids of a pony who’s definitely not fine,” Crafty Crate said. “But I won’t bugz ya ‘bout it. When youz ready to talk ‘bout it, you lemme know. Until then, youz gots deliveries to make.”

Crafty Crate switched the packages in their saddlebags while Derpy waited. Once everything in her bags was for her to deliver, he grabbed the big package and gave her one last look.

“Take care’a y’self Derpy,” Crafty Crate said, and was gone.

Derpy picked up the package and gave the alley one last look. She felt like she was being watched, and something seemed to keep moving out of the corner of her eye, but after looking about and finding nothing there, she paid it no mind. She gave a little hop, then leaped into the air, determined to catch up on all the time she’d lost. She wasn’t sure where that stallion had gone, but she had the sinking feeling she was going to see him again, and at a bad time.

Her deliveries went well. She didn’t even crash when arriving at Sugarcube corner, just landed a little heavily on her flank when she came down with the package. The Cakes gave her a small bag of leftover muffins as thanks, which she dug into with gusto, then she wound around town in a wandering spiral delivering the rest of her packages. By the time the day was over, she was all tuckered out and more than happy to go back home.

Mr. Crate stopped her as she was getting ready to leave. “You doin’ awright there Derpy? Day went okay?”

“It went fine Mr. Crate. Thank you,” Derpy said.

He sighed but relented. “Awright. Lemme know if I can help at all.”

“Thank you Mr. Crate.”

He stepped out the front and Derpy was left to finish cleaning and lock up the place. It was her job to clean since nopony trusted her to organize the packages. They had tried to teach her, but she just couldn’t get it right, and it created an even bigger mess than somepony else had to clean up afterward, so it just wasn’t worth the trouble. Cleaning was done at least twice daily, so allowing her to clean up at night gave her something to do, the leniency to show up late in the morning, and didn’t leave an even bigger mess for the next day.

Derpy was mopping up the floor in the shipping area when she heard it: A sound, as of whispering, hissing through the air. She stopped mopping and perked her ears up, twisting them around to try to figure out if she had truly heard it. She heard it again, and this time almost made out a few words.

“…tell… …what… …Muffins.”

“Who’s there?” Derpy called out.

“…remember? …terrible…” the whispering broke into horrible gasping laughter.

Derpy brandished her mop as she looked around the small warehouse. It wasn’t very big, but it was big enough to house a lot of hiding places if somepony wanted to break in and skulk about. Not the most reassuring thought in the evening when she was all alone. She was sure she’d locked the doors before beginning, though, so how the pony got in was anypony’s guess.

Derpy trotted about the building with an urgent spring in her step, turning on all the lights, and double-checking all the doors and windows. Everything was locked, but if it was all locked and she was stuck in here with somepony anyway, that was going to be problematic. She grabbed a box-cutter and returned to her mop bucket, getting back to her work. The whispering continued, mocking in its tone, and annoying in its regularity.

“If you want something from me, just come out and get it!” Derpy yelled.

“…won’t see… …this.”

“Shut up and go away! I hate you! Leave me alone!” Derpy shouted.

Her voice was absorbed by the crates in the warehouse, sounding small and weak. She didn’t like this at all. If there was a pony here, why hadn’t they come out now that she was alone? Was she hearing the voice the way she saw the strange visions? It wouldn’t surprise her. That stallion in her house hadn’t ever touched her, neither at her home nor in the alleyway. Maybe he was made-up too. That would explain why he disappeared whenever her vision corrected itself. That would make just one more thing on the ever-growing list of things she kept experiencing that she would have to learn to ignore. She could do it though. She was tough.

She finished her work, ignoring the voice as it whispered insults, questions, and nothings at her.

Derpy sniffled.

Yeah, she was tough.

Voices and more

She put everything back in its place and locked up as she stepped out of the shop. The door clicked behind her, and she was dismayed to find that the voice followed her out of the building. That meant that she was hearing things in addition to seeing things. This was not the most fun she had ever had, and she really wanted it to stop.

She turned toward home, but couldn’t get up the gumption to give her preliminary hop to fly home. She decided to walk, staring at the ground as she shuffled along the dirt road toward her house. The voice dogged her steps, begging her to explain what she saw, why she was walking instead of flying, and blaming her for not remembering it.

Derpy did her best to ignore it and focus on the walk, and she arrived at home soon enough. She shuffled inside, made sure to lock the door this time, and set about preparing her supper. Tonight would be rice and beans, with a muffin from the Cakes for dessert.

She got the water boiling on the stove, washed the rice and set it to soak while she went about doing some other chores. It didn’t take her long to finish, because she didn’t spend a large amount of her time at home. She worked long hours every day because she needed the bits, and there was nopony waiting for her when she got home, so the more time away from the place, the less she had to clean.

Since she had some time to kill she grabbed her book and read some more. The tiny earth ponies made it all the way to Rivendell where the pegasi lived, and the Unicorn Gandalf showed back up again. It was quite an adventure so far, so she understood why Lyra liked it so much. An important delivery pony. Derpy smiled at that.

She figured her rice was ready, so she strained it out, started the pot of water boiling, and dumped it in. She put on the lid, set a timer, and started heating up the refried beans. She made sure to spice it properly this time, including some garlic and salt to give it some pep. When it was all done, she sat down to eat with her book in front of her, reading about how little Frodo, out of all the heroic, powerful, and large ponies there, offered to take the ring.

“That’s a real hero right there,” Derpy said.

The voice piped up after her comment. “Why do you believe he’s a hero? Because he’s doing something that no one else wants to do? That’s not heroic, that’s foolish.”

Derpy was taken aback at how clear the voice was now, when it was so muffled and quiet earlier. She looked up from her beans, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. It didn’t seem to be originating from a specific direction, leading her to believe it was still in her head. Was it normal to talk to yourself?

“Hello? Are you just my head talking to me?” Derpy asked.

The voice laughed. “Hah! I don’t really think that’s relevant, do you?”

“I guess not,” Derpy admitted. “But then why talk to me? Are you actually a pony? If you had wanted to attack me you would have done it by now. Why are you following me?”

Derpy’s deluge of questions made the voice laugh even harder. “The road, obviously. Where does it go? I know you can see it.”

Derpy’s mouth tightened at the question. He knew far more about her than she knew about him. “I’m not answering that! Not until I know how you’re talking to me and following me!”

“Fine then. I can wait. But can you?” The voice said.

“Are you just going to keep bothering me until I tell you?” Derpy asked.

“Yes.”

Well at least he was frank about it, Derpy thought. It didn’t make her any happier to hear it. If he was the same stallion that had broken into her house and that she had seen in the alleyway, how had he escaped so quickly, and without leaving anything behind? Was she seeing things too? Derpy chuckled. Who was she kidding, of course she was!

The chuckle gave way to a sigh and a frown. It was normal for her, but it shouldn’t be. She’d never heard of any other ponies who had problems like hers. That may be only because everypony who had the problem was written off as crazy and told to ‘deal with it’, or take some sort of medicine for it.

“No, I think it’s completely abnormal what you’re seeing, but you should at least be a little bit curious about it,” the voice said.

“Okay, now I really think you’re in my head. I didn’t say any of that out loud,” Derpy said.

The voice was silent.

“At least give me a name I can call you. You don’t want me dead or for... any other reasons, or you’d have done it, so if we’re going to talk, give me a name,” Derpy said.

“Hmmm, fine. Call me… Ego Trip,” he said.

“Well that’s an awfully cocky name,” Derpy said.

“Hah. I figured you’d think as much. We’re going to get very well acquainted, you and I,” Ego Trip said.

“Well Ego Trip, I hope you’ll forgive me for not getting you a cot to sleep on, but I only have the one, we’re not sharing, and you don’t get any blankets. I think you’ll live,” Derpy said as she cleaned up the table and headed for her bedroom.

Ego trip was silent until Derpy had crawled into bed and closed her eyes. “How did you first start seeing it?”

“Ugh. What?” Derpy said.

“The road, of course. When and how did you first start seeing it?” Ego Trip said.

“When I was very young, and it just happens. Go to sleep.”

“I never sleep.”

“Well then I guess you’ll just have to be quiet for eight hours.”

“But then we’ll miss out on all the conversation we could be having about you.”

“What a terrible shame.” Derpy put her pillow over her head. It didn’t make him any quieter.

“Why do you think you see it?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.”

“Who do you think made it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Where do you think it goes?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!” Derpy shouted. “Let me sleep!”

Ego Trip went silent after her outburst, and Derpy thought maybe he would finally let her sleep. She had almost drifted off when he spoke up again.

“You should find out,” Ego Trip said.

“I don’t want to.”

Derpy rolled over and curled up into as small a ball as possible, and pulled the blankets over her head. She didn’t think it would help, but it made her feel better. Ego Trip didn’t respond to her, so she finally managed to drift off once more, falling asleep soon after.

In the morning, her vision was normal, thank goodness, but Ego Trip was right there to greet her upon opening her eyes.

“Good morning ‘Miss Muffins’,” he said.

The way he said her nickname was filled with venom, as though he hated her for having it. Like it was something she had any control over. She didn’t mind that most ponies didn’t know her by her actual name, so it wasn’t really a big deal. Besides, she liked muffins.

“Aren’t you bored, yet?” Derpy asked as she crawled out of bed.

“It’s only been a single day. Are you really tired of me so quickly?” Ego Trip responded.

“I guess not. It’s not like I can do anything about you,” Derpy said.

“Answer my questions and I’ll be gone with the wind, ‘Miss Muffins’,” Ego Trip said.

“Ugh, you know what? You don’t get to call me Miss Muffins. I don’t like the way you say it. You get to call me Derpy or Miss Hooves,” Derpy said.

Ego Trip didn’t say anything for a while after that, giving Derpy time to make breakfast. Breakfast today was oatmeal and a muffin. This one was a poppyseed muffin. Still not the best, but also very good.

“Which muffin is the best then, ‘Derpy’?” Ego Trip asked.

“I’m not telling you, because you’ll just say it’s dumb to get a rise out of me,” Derpy said.

“I’m shocked and hurt that you would think so poorly of me,” Ego Trip said.

“You haven’t said anything to make me like you yet, so I’m assuming the worst,” Derpy said.

“That’s not very nice.”

“You’re not very nice.”

“That’s foalish.”

“You’re foalish.”

Ego Trip shut up after that, letting Derpy eat in peace. She collected her uniform, which she had forgotten to wash, much to her dismay. She had also been so distracted she hadn’t brushed her teeth or showered, instead spending all her time arguing with Ego Trip and reading her book.

“Damn it,” Derpy muttered.

Derpy looked at the clock; she was already running late. She put the uniform on, ran a hoof through her mane and gave her teeth a quick look. She was a mess, but she’d rather be a mess than late. Mr. Crate was so lenient toward her as it was, she didn’t want to take advantage of his good-will.

Derpy dashed out of her house and gave a little hop, then jumped into the air, flying toward work. She whipped around ponies with grace that surprised even herself. She felt pretty good this morning. Times like these were few and far between for her these days. She hadn’t been this graceful since—

“Since you were a filly.” Ego Trip said.

Derpy wasn’t surprised by his interjection, but it still distracted her. She clipped a tree with a wing as she was coming in to land, and spun out of the sky, spiraling toward the ground. Her hooves flailed and her wings flapped as she tried to recover, but she wouldn’t manage it in time. She covered her face as she braced for impact.

She hit something soft rather than hard, and the tumbled with whatever she had struck a short distance. She felt a twinge of pain in her wing as she skidded to a stop, the cloud of dust clearing to let her see what or who she had hit.

“*Cough* Well, good morning to you too, Miss Muffins. How fortunate that we would ‘bump’ into each other here,” A familiar voice said.

As her vision cleared, a smile lit up Derpy’s face as she recognized the pony behind the voice. “Oh, hey Doc! Fancy running into you.”

The Doctor climbed to his hooves and held out a hoof for Derpy, which she took with an even bigger smile. She held on maybe a little too long, until Crafty Crate stumped out of the office.

“Derpy, you awright? Dat was a heckuva spill. Worse than usual, anyway,” Crafty Crate asked.

She looked away from Doc to Crafty, and was made aware of the pain she felt in her wing. She gave them a small flap and winced as her left wing moved.

“I’m gonna take that as a no, youz cain’t fly like dat. Get to the hospital and get dat looked at,” Crafty Crate ordered.

“I can still work! I’ll just gallop instead of fly!” Derpy protested.

“Geeze Derpy, I’m not dockin’ ya pay. You knowz I don’t do dat. You’re a good woiker, but I needz ya to be healthy. Doc, can I trust youz ta make sure she goes?” Crafty Crate said.

“Of course, Mr. Crate. I’ll take care of her,” the Doctor said. “Come along Miss Muffins, let’s get your wing looked at.”

Derpy allowed herself to be pulled along by the Doctor, blushing as his hoof tugged on hers until he let go. He watched her to make sure she was following, and he set a slow pace. Derpy realized her hat was crooked and tried to adjust it, pulling the brim down to try to hide her face. That let her see her shirt was buttoned crooked, with every button one hole higher than it should have been. Nothing she could do about that now. She tried to dust herself off while they walked, with mixed success.

“It’s been a little while hasn’t it, Miss Muffins?” the Doctor asked.

“Yeah, it has, Doc. Where have you been?” Derpy asked.

“Oh, you know, here and there, to and fro, hither and thither,”

“How long will you be back this time?”

The Doctor sighed. “I still can’t answer that with any degree of certainty Miss Muffins.”

“I know. I was hoping, though.”

“You always do. You’re tough, after all.” The Doctor looked back at her and winked.

Derpy looked up at him in surprise, and a wide smile rose on her face. She felt a lot more pep in her step as they made their way to the hospital, talking about nothing in particular.

They stepped into the waiting room and signed in, taking their seats in silence. Derpy sat next to the Doctor on the waiting bench, fidgeting with her mane, her hat, and her shirt. She looked at the Doctor, then away, then back again.

The Doctor noticed, of course. “Is everything alright, Miss Hooves? Is your wing bothering you too much? We can ask for some ice while we wait.”

Derpy looked at her wing, hanging next to her like a limp towel. “It aches, but it’s not unbearable.”

“Excellent. Excellent.”

Derpy looked at him for a moment, but then he turned to look back at her and she turned away, blushing again. Derpy had never had a special somepony, and she never went looking, but Doc was somepony she wished she had the guts to say something to. He didn’t treat her any different than any other pony. To him, everypony was good enough just the way they were, and he made her feel like that. Crafty Crate was nice to her, but he was like a stern father figure. Doc was like…

“Like a stranger taking care of a lost puppy,” Ego Trip said.

Derpy’s smile faded and she looked around. Nopony else seemed to have reacted to it, which led credence to the fact that it was all in her head, or at least she was the only one privy to the statements.

Derpy looked at the Doctor. His expression was unchanged.

“Doc, did you hear anything just now?” Derpy asked.

“Not at all. Did they call your name?” the Doctor asked.

“Oh, no. It was something else.” Derpy looked down at her hooves.

“Well this ‘something else’ seems to be getting to you. Did you want to talk about it?”

Derpy looked up at the Doctor, and met his gaze looking back at her. Those big blue eyes of his looked at her and she felt butterflies in her stomach, pushing at the sides, making her feel a little queasy. She felt herself gag a little and looked away as she retched, ruining the moment.

“Miss Muffins, are you alright?” the Doctor asked.

“You realize he doesn’t look at you the way you look at him, right?” Ego Trip said in her head.

“Miss Derpy Hooves?” a doctor called out. “Miss Derpy Hooves? Possibly broken wing?”

“Oh, that’s you! Will you be alright alone?” the Doctor asked.

Derpy nodded. “I’ll be fine. I’m tough. Could you wait here for me? I… would like to talk afterward.”

“Of course, Miss Muffins.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Derpy smiled and stepped up to greet the doctor.

The examination was brief, and not very painful. The doctor was gentle and quick, and the diagnosis was nothing more than a slight sprain. She received a compression wrap and an admonishment to stay grounded for a few days until the swelling went down. She asked if she could have a lollipop for being good, and was given one with a smile and ushered back out to the waiting room.

“Welcome back Miss Muffins. I see you were good in there.” Doc said, motioning to the lollipop. “Nothing too bad I take it?”

“A slight sprain. I just have to stay grounded. Can we get lunch and talk somewhere quiet, Doc?” Derpy asked.

“Of course! Lead the way,” Doc said.

Derpy took him to get her favourite lunch; a daisy sandwich, apple, and a muffin, all for only three bits. They took their lunches to a bench in the park near the pond and ate in peace. Derpy stole glances at him while they ate when she was sure he wasn’t looking. It was almost like they were on a date!

“He doesn’t think of it as a date,” Ego Trip said to her.

Derpy’s smile fell and her tail ceased its twitching at his words. He was right. Doc was here to listen to her talk.

“Doc, I think I’m being haunted,” Derpy said.

Doc, to his credit and which was one of the things Derpy loved the most about him, didn’t laugh. He didn’t even crack a smile. He took her statement with utter seriousness and looked at her.

“Why do you think you’re being haunted?” Doc said.

Derpy scraped a hoof at the bench. “I’m… hearing voices that aren’t there.”

“And what do they say?” Doc asked.

“Well…” Derpy wasn’t sure how much of her problem she wanted to get into, but there really wasn’t any way to discuss one without going into the other. She sighed. She’d have to tell him everything. “He insults me a lot, but I think he’s just trying to get information from me. He… well…” Derpy tried to find the right words. “He wants information about the black road.”

“And what is this black road, then?”

“Okay, that takes a lot of explaining.”

Derpy told the Doctor about the problems she had with her vision, what psychologists had said, and how she had decided to not take the medicine for it because it made her feel awful. She knew she’d see the visions again, and she had learned to deal with them, but the voice was new. She even told him about how the voice had manifested itself as a pony during her visions. She told the Doctor everything she’d experienced in the past few days. When she finished explaining, she looked at the Doctor with bated breath.

The Doctor folded his hooves in front of him and closed his eyes in thought. He tugged on his tie a little as he pondered what she’d just told him.

“Well Miss Muffins, this is a lot to take in. You’ve been seeing this black road your whole life, you said?”

Derpy nodded. “Everything else just looks different, but is still in the same place. The road is the only thing that moves.”

“Well my first thought is that the voice, although new, is yet another symptom of the schizophrenia you mentioned.”

Derpy’s face fell.

“However, you say you saw him as a regular pony while experiencing hallucinations, correct? Did you ever touch him?”

Derpy shook her head. “He came close, and seemed to change size, and it looked like he was holding garlic once, but I never touched him, or the garlic he said he was holding.”

“Well, if you’d like, I have some devices that may detect spirits if you say you are being haunted. Would you like me to test you and your house?”

Doc wanted to come to her house? She blushed and panicked at the same time, her hooves flying to her face to cover her cheeks. Her house wasn’t filthy, but it wasn’t exciting. She had next to no decorations anywhere but her bedroom. Few books, few pieces of furniture, and not much food. Could she even entertain a guest?

“He’s coming to search for ghosts, not spend the night.” Ego Trip said.

Derpy caught herself. Ego Trip was right. This was for business, not for pleasure. She had asked Doc for help, and he had agreed. She needed to treat it like such.

“If you could, that would give me some peace of mind, Doc. I’d like that a lot,” Derpy said.

Doc stood up and offered her a hoof, which she took. He started walking away and she trotted to catch up. “Let’s get to my place, I’ll grab a few things, and then we can go to yours. Shouldn’t take long at all.”

“I don’t mind it taking long if it needs to. Thank you for being willing to help, Doc,” Derpy said.

“Not at all Miss Muffins. I’m always happy to aid a friend in need,” Doc said.

They went to the Doctor’s house and he grabbed some strange machines Derpy had never understood the use of. She’d been here before, so she’d seen them, but never bothered asking what they did. There were a lot of things in Doc’s house like that for her. He let her come visit when he was in town, but that was getting rarer and rarer these days. He was always very busy.

Once he had his things, they went back to Derpy’s house, which she opened up with not a little embarrassment, letting him in to do his work. He bustled about, not saying anything about the décor, or the lack thereof. He was all business, running his gadgets here and there, waving them in cupboards, over windows, on top of and underneath her bed. Derpy waited for him to finish, following him about the house as he worked. When he was done, he shut his beeping device off and turned to her.

“Well Miss Muffins, I cannot find any spiritual residue or ectoplasmic signatures anywhere. That’s not guarantee, but I don’t think you’re being haunted,” Doc said.

“Well that’s a relief. So what do you think it is, Doc?”

The Doctor looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again without saying anything. He put a hoof to his chin and looked away from her, then back into her questing eyes.

“Tell you what, Miss Muffins, the next time you experience the problems with your vision, come see me. You can find my workshop when you have your hallucinations, correct?” Doc asked.

Derpy was crestfallen. She knew that look. That was the look of somepony who didn’t believe her. The look that said; you have a problem and we don’t know what else to do to help you with it so we’ll just humor you.

“Yeah, I can,” Derpy said.

“Excellent. We can talk more about it when you’re experiencing it. That should help,” Doc said.

“Yeah...” Derpy said without enthusiasm.

The Black Road

When the Doctor left, Derpy gave him a solemn wave goodbye from the door, and stood in it watching him walk off until he was out of sight. Once she turned around and shut the door, Ego Trip started talking again.

“It’s cute that you thought I was a ghost,” Ego Trip said. “No, really, that’s adorable. That you’d think all your problems would go away if you just got somepony else to come sweep your house of them. Like they were dust you could hide under the rug.”

Derpy said nothing, just dragged her hooves inside and began working on supper. It was still just past noon, but she needed to occupy herself somehow, and she could make a pretty good stew with potatoes, dumplings, and lentils with this much time. She didn’t really know how to cook much beyond muffins, but soup, stew, and sandwiches were easy: Just put things in each one and hope for the best.

She kept herself busy until the stew was simmering on the stove, and then she went to go clean, only to remember she had just cleaned yesterday. It was still early afternoon. She picked up her book and tried to read, but she found herself reading the same paragraph over and over without registering anything inside it.

Derpy put the book down and stared around her house.

There was nothing she wanted to do.

“Are you ready to talk, yet?” Ego Trip asked.

“No.” Derpy stood up and marched to her front door. She stepped outside, shut it behind her, and went for a walk.

Derpy aimed herself out of town, looking to walk through something with few ponies around. There was a nice set of woods nearby, right on the edge of the Everfree forest. It was kept manicured and safe by groundsponies, so in the middle of the day it was safe, while it was closed in the evening and at night.

Derpy walked. And she stared. She stared at flowers, trees, birds, bees, leaves, sticks, and the occasional hoofprint. There weren’t any ponies around that she had seen, so they were further ahead of her on the trail, or they were long gone. She did everything she could to keep herself busy so that she wouldn’t have to think. Ego Trip made it hard, though.

“You’re alone, Miss Hooves. This was a foolish choice. You don’t like being around other ponies because they make you feel like you don’t fit in, but you don’t like being alone because it reminds you that you’ve nopony to talk to but yourself,” Ego Trip said.

Derpy avoided responding to him. He’d been talking constantly, and all of it had been putting her down. His constant chattering was really starting to wear on her. He was trying to get her to tell him about the black road, but she was having none of it. This whole walk had been to avoid talking to him, but he was making his constant presence known, and that made him difficult to ignore.

She stopped at a pond and sighed. Ignoring him wasn’t going to work. “Fine. What do you want?”

“You know what I want,” Ego Trip said.

“I’m not telling you about the black road. What else do you want?” Derpy said.

“We can talk about your friend the Doctor if you like.”

“I don’t want to talk about him with you.”

“Oh? Whyever not? He’s smart, handsome, well-dressed, and is liked by most everypony he meets,” Ego Trip said. “Then there’s you: Dumb, homely, poorly-groomed, and when you meet somepony you crash into them. Not the best first impression.”

“I’m not dumb.”

“I like that that’s the only one you denied. Why didn’t the Doctor stay for dinner, by the way? How come you didn’t invite him?”

“Because… because…”

“Because you know he couldn’t possibly see you the way you see him?”

Derpy’s vision swam, and she tottered as dizziness washed over her. When it cleared, the world around her had changed once again. Trees were gnarled shadows of their former selves, the water in the pond nearby was dark and murky, and the animals glared at her with angry yellow eyes.

Something was different this time, however. There was black at the edge of her vision, and her head turned without her telling it to do so. She tried to tell it to move back to look at the pond, but it wouldn’t go.

“Ah, I hit a nerve with that one, didn’t I?” Derpy said in Ego Trip’s voice.

Derpy spoke, but her mouth didn’t move. This time it was her voice that seemed to come from nowhere at all. “I didn’t say that! What’s going on?”

“We’re going on a little trip, Miss Hooves. Down the black road, to see where it leads us, and find out what’s on the other side,” Ego Trip said.

“I don’t want to! Everypony will miss me!”

“Oh? Who’s going to miss you? The Doctor? Crafty Crate?” Ego Trip said. “They’ll wonder where you went, and accept that you’re missing, but they’ll chalk it up to ‘that clumsy pony’, and get on with their lives. They’ll shake their heads sadly every now and then, but they’ll be glad you’re gone deep down.”

Derpy watched as her hooves stepped onto the black road where it slithered sinuously through the park. It was always just nearby anytime her vision went like this, waiting for her. Tempting her to follow. She never did, but Ego Trip wasn’t held back the same way she was. Ego Trip wanted to go.

“I… I don’t want to go.”

“Of course you do. You’ve been curious about this your whole life. ‘What’s down the mysterious road, where nopony knows who I am, and nopony has to worry about me crashing into them. Nopony can possibly worry about me, and won’t have to take care of me or accommodate me.’ That’s what’s down this road, isn’t it?” Ego Trip said.

She knew.

Derpy knew the whole time, and Ego Trip was right. Nopony would worry about whether or not she would crash into them. The Doctor wouldn’t have to worry about making sure she was okay, and Crafty Crate wouldn’t have to worry about coming up with custom work for her just so she could continue to have a job. She wouldn’t be a hazard, and the Cakes wouldn’t have to keep giving her muffins for free just for bringing them something that was down the street.

Her visioned darkened further as Ego Trip took her down the black road. The edges of her vision crawled further toward the center, giving her a small circle of a view.

But…

Crafty Crate would never be able to pat her on the head anymore everytime she shared her free muffins with him. Mrs. Cake would never be able to ask her if she was okay after her inevitable crashed entry to the shop. She’d never be able to read another of Lyra’s strange books she always shared with her. She’d never be able to experiment with soup ingredients anymore. She’d never feel the butterflies in her stomach from seeing Doc’s smile and touching his hoof when he helped her up from the ground.

Derpy stretched her wings out and flapped hard, wincing as her sprain flared hot with pain. The lift was enough to give her back some air, and her vision widened, filling with spots as she gasped and inhaled. She yanked the rope from around her throat and stopped flapping, letting herself fall back to the forest floor. She rolled on the ground, breathing hard and clutching a hoof to her sprained wing, crying.

She cried for a long while. Nopony passed by. She’d selected this area because it was behind a mess of thick brambles, and had a nice view of the pond between some trees. Ponies wouldn’t find her for a long while.

When she was finished crying, she pulled herself back to her hooves and looked up at her tree. Her vision was normal again, and she could see the rope she’d strung up there. It hung like a serpent, whispering sour words in her ears. She glared at it, climbed up the trunk, untied the rope, and tossed it into the pond. It floated away, harmless. She sniffled, wiped her nose on her foreleg, then stuck her tongue out at it and walked away.

Derpy trudged all the way back to Ponyville, each step heavier than the last, but she made it.

She could handle it, she was… she was…

Derpy broke down crying again as she left the forest. Hard, wailing sobs. This time it didn’t last very long before she was interrupted by a voice.

“Derpy?” Lyra called out.

The mint green pony came crashing through the bushes, and scooped her up in a hug. Derpy winced at the pressure on her wing but said nothing. She just hugged Lyra back and bawled harder.

“Guys, I found her!” Lyra yelled.

Soon afterward, several other ponies came up the path into the woods and crowded around her. Crafty Crate, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Bon Bon, and finally, Doc. The rest of them parted to let Doc in closer, and he traded places with Lyra to hug Derpy. They were all quiet as they just let Derpy cry herself out, until she was all the way down to sniffles. She wiped her face and nose on his tie, then realized what she did and tried to wipe it off with a hoof, just succeeding in smearing it around more. Then she started crying again. When she was done, Doc pulled back and held out a hoof to help her up. She smiled, sniffled, and accepted, her heart fluttering like it did every time.

“What’s wrong Miss Muffins?” Doc asked.

Derpy explained how she felt. Like she was just a burden to everypony around her, and how Mr. Crate just gave her a job because she had nothing else, and how the Cakes only accepted deliveries because they wanted to give her something to do, and how Lyra and the Doctor only humored her because nopony else wanted to. She laid it all out, but left out the last part where she had just tried to kill herself.

When she was done, everypony around her clamored to speak at once. The Doctor silenced them and answered first. “Miss Muffins, we’re all very happy to have you around. It’s true, your faults are many, but we don’t let those faults force us to do anything. We do what we do because we’re your friends, and we want to help you. Nopony is an island,” Doc said.

“We likes you just the way you iz, Derpy,” Crafty Crate said.

“You enjoy our muffins more than anypony else, Miss Muffins. Seeing you eat them no matter how good or bad we think they are is just as much a blessing for us as it is delicious for you,” Mrs. Cake chimed in.

“Bon Bon doesn’t want to talk about books as much as you do, Derpy. Hearing your opinion on the books I recommend is a highlight I look forward to. It’s not a chore,” Lyra said.

“I noticed you were looking rather down after your injury, so I gathered all your friends together to hold a little soiree to cheer you up. I hope that’s okay,” Doc said.

Derpy wiped her cheeks with a hoof, trying to compose herself. She smiled wide at all of them, seeing the few friends she had come together like this was a good feeling, and one she had forgotten. Maybe Doc wouldn’t ever be her special somepony, but if she never saw him again, it was certain he wouldn’t be.

She was tough, but every so often she needed reminding she didn’t have to tough it out alone.