"Princess Celestia!" Bruce called, galloping into the palace, with all Twilight's friends right behind him. "We came as soon as we could!"

The princess turned, her iridescent mane flowing. "I'm glad you're here," she said, sounding more serious than Bruce could ever remember her being. Bruce frowned, worried.

She turned again and began to walk up the palace stairs to a long hallway full of stained-glass windows. "What is it?" he asked, trotting after her. "Is it about the strange weather?"

"This goes much deeper than that, Twilight."

Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Can we have the short version, and a little less vague?"

The princess nodded, acknowledging the concern, and pointed to a stained glass window depicting a bizarre creature surrounded by two ponies and wreathed in rainbow light. "That's Discord. He's a spirit of chaos and only the Elements of Harmony can stop him. You ponies represent and can wield the Elements. I need you to take them and stop him."

Wow. That really was the short version.

But would they work with Bruce instead of Twilight? There was only one way to find out. He looked up at the princess. "We won't let you down," he pledged.

As they talked, they'd been walking down the hall, and now they reached the doors of a massive vault. Celestia placed her horn inside a hole in the center. Different parts of it lit up in an impressive display. It swung open, and Celestia pulled out a blue box embedded with many gems. Judging by Rarity's face, they were of great quality and value.

The princess opened the box, then gasped and let it fall. Everypony crowded around, trying to see.

The box was empty.

"No!" Princess Celestia shouted. "Only I can open that vault, how could they be missing? This doesn't make any sense!"

A low, sinister chuckle filled the hallway, making the fur on the back of Bruce's neck stand up. He didn't have to ask who that voice belonged to.

"Make sense?" it asked, in a mocking tone. "Oh, what fun is there in making sense?"

Celestia stomped a hoof. "Discord! Show yourself!" she demanded.

With a flash, the stained-glass image of Discord came to life and began to speak. "Oh, so uptight, Celestia." At his words, the different colored strands in her mane began to separate and braid themselves tightly together. "You really should just unwind." Now they drifted apart until she looked like a many-colored plasma ball.

"Stop it, Discord!" she shouted, stomping again. "Tell us where you've hidden them!"

He slithered over to a different stained glass window and sat there, leaning against the image of Twilight and assuming a flirtatious manner. "Only for you, Celestia."

"Last time you flirted with me, I turned you to stone, and don't you forget it!"

"Hmph. Well, if you're going to be so cold, Celly-"

"Do not," she mumbled through gritted teeth.

"-perhaps I won't tell you after all."

"Discord..."

"Fine, fine. But I'll only tell you my way. There are three parts. Here's the first one: A fortress of defense, a bastion of might, a castle where the wise teach the young to fight. An armory of weapons, sharp as hooks, are wrapped in leather and shelved as books."

Bruce found the answer instantly, but decided not to let Discord know. "And the second riddle?" he asked warily.

"I stand, tall, reaching towards the sky, but every year, come fall I die."

That one was even easier! He pretended to think it over carefully, but inside he was rejoicing. Discord paused for a few minutes, then began speaking again. "Third riddle: Grew on a tree, two times three, these are the key, to defeating me!" With a final disturbing chuckle and a flash of light, he was gone, and only his stained-glass image remained, frozen once again in his old picture.

"Well, that last one was definitely the Elements," Rainbow Dash said.

"Grew on a tree?" Applejack reminded her.

"Actually, yes," Princess Celestia said. "That was where Luna and I found them, millennia ago, to defeat Discord."

"And I know what the other two are," Bruce announced. Everypony turned to him. "The first riddle is a library, and the second is a tree. If I had to guess, I'd say each one is narrowing down the field. It's a library, but there are thousands in Equestria. Only one of them is a tree, though. So I think we need to look in my library tree for something related to the Elements, and that's where it'll be."

Princess Celestia nodded. "It's a good place to start, at least. But you should be warned: Discord is a trickster. The obvious meaning is not likely to be what he actually intends, and it's possible that he gave you a fake clue. He certainly doesn't intend to let himself be imprisoned again; he'll try to keep you from them, or else allow you to think you've won, but secretly give you fake Elements, or do something to make you unable to use them."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Rainbow muttered. "Come on, let's get back to the train."

"That won't be necessary. I'll send you with sky chariots. Then, even if the Elements are not within Twilight's library, you'll have swift transportation to the next place you wish to search."

They thanked her, and after a thankfully uneventful flight, they found themselves in front of the library. "All right, girls," Bruce instructed them, "look for anything related to the Elements."

They nodded and scattered. It should only take a few minutes, Bruce thought. The library is pretty small.

Sure enough, after a short time, Rarity's voice rang out triumphantly. "I've got them!"

Everypony galloped towards her, in the central room of the bottom floor. "Where were they?" Bruce asked, before noticing the open book on the floor and the hole dug out of the pages. "Ah." That's the book about the Elements. Makes sense of the sixth riddle.

Rarity floated each Element over to its respective Bearer, and soon they were all clad in the magical gems. Some deep magical sense of Twilight's told Bruce that these were the real Elements, and Discord wasn't tricking them. At least, not about that.

He was pretty sure how Discord was invalidating the Elements: him. He wasn't Twilight, and he certainly couldn't pretend hard enough to fool the Elements. It was worth a chance, he supposed. And what would happen once--if, he corrected himself--it failed? Nopony would realize what had happened. Should he come clean? How would they react?

Time enough for those worries later. He had to at least make an attempt.

They trotted out the door. Discord was waiting on a weird throne made out of swords, directing cotton candy clouds. The roads, and the entire hill he sat on, were covered in a blue and yellow checkerboard pattern. Discord turned as they approached, yawning unconcernedly. "Oh, dear, I see you've found the Elements. Clearly my doom is near at hand."

His casual dismissal infuriated Bruce. "Yeah, it is!" he shouted, noticing how lame it sounded too late. Quick, think of something snappy. Um... um... Oh, forget it. He won't be laughing when it works.

Instinctively, they formed a V formation. Bruce narrowed his eyes. "All right. Let's do this."

His crown lit up. Behind him, the other Elements began glowing. Oh my goodness, it's working. A rainbow swirled around them, lifting them into the air. It's working it's working it's working-

The rainbow flickered and died, dumping them painfully in a heap on the ground.

I could be wrong.

Author's Note

No, that was not Dislestia. He flirts with her only because he knows it makes her uncomfortable, and he loves making people uncomfortable.