The Bar Bug

by naturalbornderpy

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Sex
Length: 3061

I was at this new bar last night. You heard about it yet? Great place. Cheap drinks. Hot mares. I even hooked up with a mare there. And now I can't seem to get her out of my head.

You think I look tired? Probably because I was at this new bar last night.

You heard about it yet? Great place.

Cheap drinks. Hot mares. Even hotter staff.

I even hooked up with a mare there. And now I can't seem to get her out of my head.

A more adult semi-sequel to both "Don't Let The Bed Bug Bite" and "The Bug In The Cave".

Artwork by Burning Heart Brony. DARK tag just to be safe.

Published 2018-03-13 01:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-03-13 01:00:07 UTC

Stuck In The Pit

Do I look tired? I must look tired by the way you’re staring at me.

No joke, but I feel like crap right now. Long night last night. That’s why I skipped stretches earlier. I’ll be fine, though. Just give me a minute. Or five. Or ten. And whatever pain pills you have close by for my head.

What was I up to last night? Take a guess. Come on. Go.

Nope. Nope. Close on that last one.

It was a new bar, actually. Just opened up. Soarin mentioned it. Called ‘The Pit’.

Stop laughing. Seriously, Wind Waker, stop laughing. It’s not as bad as it sounds. I like the place, if I’m being truthful. It’s still new, so it doesn’t have that whole ‘depressing’ funk that most dive bars have. I’m sure it’ll get there eventually, but for now it’s pretty slick. Cheap, too. Like… as in everything is cheap. Food. Booze. More booze. Oddly cheap, you know? Like how-do-they-even-stay-in-business-type cheap.

How else would I get you coming back?

You say something? No? I must be hearing things. My head’s still killing me. Hand me that bottle of water, will you? Mouth’s as dry as dirt right now; feel like I could drink the practice pool today. Where was I again?

Stuck in The Pit. With me.

Oh, right. So, I must’ve gotten to the bar… at what? Ten, maybe?

Eleven.

Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Place wasn’t too packed when I arrived. Which was fine.

So, I entered. Found a seat at the bar and right away I made myself known. Wasn’t too hard. Not for stallions like us, am I right? Mares see that Wonderbolts jacket and just like that… legs turn to jelly. I could practically feel their eyes on the back of my head, they all wanted me so bad.

Not a single head turned when you entered. All eyes were already on—

What? Yeah, Soarin was there, too. You saw him this morning, did you? Didn’t even notice him until he practically stumbled into me. He’s been there before. In The Pit. Half-a-dozen times or so, I think. Mentions it constantly. He’s always like ‘Dude! You need to check this place out! Dude! I’ll even pay!’ Nearly begged me to go with him. I mean, sure, the place is fine and all, but it’s just a bar, bro. It’s not like your life’s on the line or anything! Maybe practice our flight routine instead of spending all night there!

Seriously. He’s been terrible lately. You notice that? Obviously, don’t tell him that I said this, but… you seen the bags under his eyes? The bigger bags than normal? That pony really needs to watch himself. He looks like he’s about to drop. Wonder why. It doesn’t take that much energy to lift a glass to your mouth!

You know perfectly well why he looks that way.

I haven’t even gotten to the bartender yet. Smoking. Damn. Hot. Pretty sure she owns the place. Either that or she works there around the clock. Soarin must’ve mentioned her more than once, I think.

I called her ‘hot’, didn’t I? That’s because she is. But not in that ‘normal Cloudsdale’ mare-type hotness. More in that older mare hotness. Like… experienced, you know? Like the way she pours drinks and chats and never seems to take her eyes off of you. Almost as if she’s studying you or something.

Okay. I know this’ll sound weird, but I want to use the word ‘motherly’ while describing her. Think I’ll have to go see a shrink after that? What’s that complex where you love your mom too much? You know what? Forget it. I take it back. The only part of hers that I’d consider ‘motherly’ would be her hips. You know the kind I’m talking about; had a kid or two some point down the road. Nice and round. You know what they say. More cushion for the—

Don’t finish that.

I’ll spare you the rest. I think her name’s Violet. Or something equally bland and forgettable like that. Can’t say the same about her body, though. Damn fine! Unicorn, too. Clearly, that horn of hers must help with all the drinks she makes. Could you imagine doing all that with just hooves?

By the way—and just between us—ever sleep with a unicorn before? I did once. All the crazy stuff they do with that magical horn-rod of theirs? I mean, wings are great and all; I got a job out of them, didn’t I? But horns… hard to go back, I tell you. Especially when you bed yourself one of those kinky unicorns that don’t mind—

Stop.

What? Oh, sorry. I’ll stop. Got a little personal there, didn’t I. What was I saying again?

Right. Right. Violet the bartender.

The moment my rump hit that barstool, she was smiling at me. Knows my name and everything. Soarin must’ve told her sometime earlier. So, I place my order—one of those fruity drinks with way too much alcohol in it—and already she’s asking me how my day went. Like the whole show. Practice. Drills. Stupid-bitchy-Spitfire-bitch-face. Par for the course, as I’m sure you can relate. And as I’m rambling away—sort of what I’m doing now if you think about it—she’s just nodding along, going ‘Uh-huh’ at all the right moments, somehow never missing a move on all those complicated drinks she’s making with that pointy horn of hers.

And smack! Half-a-minute later, there’s my drink. As bright and colorful as clown vomit. Doesn’t taste that way, bud, so stop grimacing like that. I don’t like cider, alright? Sue me! I must’ve downed half of that in one gulp because it tasted so damn good. Cold. Refreshing. Numbing.

Then I remember that I’m supposed to technically ‘pay’ for my drink, so I slap down the two bits it costs. Yep. I just saw your jaw drop. Told you it was a cheap place!

And you know what? Violet doesn’t even notice those bits. She’s just staring at me—listening to my boring rambles. Hardly even blinks, either. And you’d think something like that would be creepy, right? Nope. I love that type of attention. And then the booze hits me right in the gut and all worries suddenly melt away as fast Wonderbolts aerial maneuver number seven.

You really thought it was the booze making you feel like that?

I hate to use the word ‘motherly’ again, but I guess I’ll have to. Remember back when you were a foal and you could tell your mother anything—anything in the world—and somehow, she’d just make it all better? Even the really stupid stuff? Like you’d tell her the moon was gonna crash into Equestria tomorrow and your mom would just be like, ‘Okay, I’ll go talk to the moon and make sure that doesn’t happen, sweetie,’ and you’d just be like, ‘Okay, thanks mom.’

That’s sort of how I felt talking with Violet. I was venting and she was actually listening to me!

Nodding along, mostly.

She had beautiful eyes. I forgot to mention that. So big and expressive. But I was surprised no one else noticed when—

Her eyes erupted into green flames.

—she tipped me a wink as she collected my empty glass; still hadn’t touched any of my coins yet. You know you’re dealing with a good bartender when they love their clientele more than their bits.

After that first drink, I felt pretty darn good. And after the second, even better than that. Like I loved all of Equestria and in return all of Equestria loved me. Speaking of love… come a bit closer. A little closer. Just so Bitch-fire doesn’t hear.

Earlier, you asked what I was up to last night, right? You got the first part correct: booze and bar. Wanna guess the second thing I was up to?

Yup. You got it. I had sex. One gold metal coming your way. I think I might have set you up for that one, but regardless, I got laid. And it was—

What did you just mutter? ‘Was Discord still in stone the last time that happened?’ Hey, screw you, Wind Waker! You’re lucky to have someone as awesome as me as your aerial partner. I’m practically carrying this team, right now! Okay, maybe I’m not carrying this team this particular morning, but… you got another bottle of water hiding somewhere, by chance?

Thanks. That really hits the spot. Okay. Back to the good part of the story.

So, as I mentioned earlier, this bar was loaded with mares. Completely packed. And one table across the room in particular caught my eye the moment I had a few drinks in my gut. Was one of them a unicorn, you ask? Why yes, one of them was, but that’s beside the point. I don’t have a unicorn fetish or anything, just… just… shut it and let me finish my story, okay?

Instead of trudging over to their table like any ol’ dork would, I let my wings do the work. A grand entrance like that plus the Wonderbolts jacket on my back? Couldn’t ask for a better conversation starter. Not unless I was an alicorn or something. So, the moment I landed next to them, every jaw hits the floor. They were speechless. Literally.

That’s because you knocked over two ponies on your way over there. Literally.

I was thinking about buying them all a round of drinks but thought better of it. Wonderbolts money isn’t exactly limitless, am I right? Plus, it was only the unicorn I was interested in. And she already had a drink beside her.

After that wicked entrance, I tell them all who I am and not a single one of them seems to understand. Uncultured swine, the lot of them! But they did seem to know who the Wonderbolts were. And I’ll remind you that by this point in the night, I was more than a few drinks in, so my thought process was a little haggard. I eyed the unicorn and asked if she’d want to join me by the bar.

And you know what she did?

Had common sense?

Rejected me! But I could tell right from the get-go that something there was screwy. Turns out I was right. Violet the bartender set me straight, Celestia bless her. Feeling a bit down in the dumps, I walked back to the bar and took my seat back.

And, like the sweetheart that she is, Violet has my drink of choice already waiting. Even says it’s on her. Now that’s the kind of mare that I need to hook up with. One with a bar! And one that’s pretty and attentive and doesn’t walk away when I’m directly speaking to them!

Yes. I see you walking away, Wind Waker. Just because my eyes are half-closed doesn’t mean I can’t still see you. What do you mean you have to use the can? I was just getting to the good stuff! Two more minutes, tops. Promise.

Anyways, turns out Violet actually knows the unicorn that rejected me. Her whole table, in fact. Kind of like a little group of hens, she calls them. Looking out for each other and the like. Keeping cute unicorns away from sexy Wonderbolts and the like. Also… she’s supposedly shy. The unicorn, I mean. Which only makes her cuter, in my mind.

And you know what Violet does next? Do you know what she does? Well, I guess not cause you’re not the one telling the story. She goes and flipping talks to her! I was shocked! I could barely look in their direction I was so caught off-guard… so I just sat there with my drink between my hooves, pretending not to care when I totally, really did. Awkward as all Tartarus.

Whatever Violet told her must’ve changed her mind something fierce. It was fast, like… like I glanced down for one second and then—boom!—the unicorn’s gone. Her whole table of mares are gone, too. Maybe they had work in the morning, I dunno.

And after that, Violet slides back behind the bar with a one-sided smirk, as if nothing at all just happened. She takes my empty glass in her aura and tips me another wink. ‘Someone wants to see you near the dartboard,’ she says, all silkily smooth-like.

‘To play darts?’ I asked.

Clearly, those three drinks had done a lot more damage than I thought.

It’s dark in the area around the dartboard. If nopony’s been hit with a dart in that place, I’d be surprised. Anyways, that unicorn Violet spoke to is already standing there. Waiting. Posing, almost. Doesn’t look all that shy to me, now that I think on it. Maybe it was her table of friends causing her to act like that. Who knows.

I barely get out a word before she leans towards me and I jolt back. Then she whispers into my ear some of the nastiest stuff I’d ever heard. Like… whoa. Like… settle down now! Here I thought it was me that had all the twisted thoughts. What? No, I’m not about to repeat to you what she said. Your ears are much too innocent, Wind Waker. You’re too young. Yes. Yes, I know I’m only two months older than you, so in two months time, I tell you what she said. Sound fair?

I could feel her aura’s already tugging on my jacket. It’s clear she wanted me. Bad.

I turned back to the bar to give Violet a… I’m still not sure what. A ‘thank you’ wave? A nod of approval? Who knows and it doesn’t matter. She was nowhere to be found. Bartenders need breaks, too, don’t they? Although my mind quickly forgets all this as the unicorn again tugs on my jacket. It’s clear she wants me to follow her. I hesitate for a moment. I am pretty wasted, after all. But then—

Her eyes flashed green again.

—she bites her lower lip in that cute, flirty way and I melt into a puddle. I basically just float to our final destination, I’m so focused on her eyes.

No. No, Wind Waker. Stop making wise cracks. I did not have sex on a pool table last night. Or a foosball table. You know how much that would hurt? Nah. We ended up together in a stall in the mare’s bathroom, actually. Yes. I know. A bit gross, but the place smelled like fresh lemons, so maybe they’d just cleaned up. I mean, hey, beggars can’t be choosers. At least not at two in the morning in some seedy bar, they can’t.

Truth be told, I was a bit nervous cause it’s been so long; I try to cut the tension and joke around, tell her that stallions aren’t supposed to be in there. She just smiles and says she can keep a secret if I can. And then the next thing I know I’m being shoved into one of the stalls. Damn was that unicorn strong! And here I thought they only lifted things with their horns!

The unicorn stops for a second. Pretty sad that I never caught her name, isn’t it? Her eyes drop a bit and I quickly understand why. I’m very much exposed. Sure, my jacket covered my top half, but my bottom half? And all that dirty talk from before? Yeah. It worked. And it’s clear she’s impressed by what she sees.

Adequate, at best, I’m afraid.

Then we get to the best part. The big finish. She takes a few steps towards me, locks the stall door behind her with her aura. Then she smiles again. A one-sided smirk. Very familiar, now that I think about it. And just like that—

It’s Violet standing over me. Then it’s someone new. Someone much larger and darker than before with a long, wispy mane and a sharp, curved horn. Using that same horn, she touches my head and my mind is filled with visions. Such sweet, sweet visions! One after the other. It’s that unicorn from before. Now it’s two of them. Now twelve. They’re touching me all over like in one of my impossible dreams. Yet it feels so real. And now I want more of them. More of these visions. So much more. It’s all I can think about.

And now I crave them just as much as she craves me.

Shush. Shush, my dear. You're not supposed to remember that part.

Did you just touch my forehead, Wind Waker? I’m fine. Seriously. Just a bit sweaty, is all. Haven’t you ever had a hangover before? And, uhh, you know what? Maybe I’ll finish this later. Sorry to end it on a sour note, but I’m pretty sure Spitfire’s looking for us. Can you help me with my uniform? Still a bit groggy.

Ask.

These uniforms are hard to get into sometimes. Damn wing holes.

Ask him. Now.

So… uhh… you think you might wanna check out that place with me sometime? Maybe us and the others could make it our hangout place or something. Just a thought. The academy is stressful enough as it is… could be good to cut loose once in a while.

Come on. What do you say? Not going to leave a pal hanging, are you?

You won’t take no for an answer.

I won’t take no for an answer. What’s the worse that could happen?

Great. That’s the spirit. I’ll see you tonight, then.

I’ll see you tonight, too. Both of you.

Author's Note

So this story's been on the back burner for a while. The other "Bug" stories revolved around Chrysalis (without her drone army) trying to get some love wherever she could. First one sort of cute; second one sort of creepy. This one more adult, I guess.

I also wanted to try a story written from someone's POV, where their own thoughts were fighting against them. In this case, Chrysalis' spell or mind manipulation or whatnot.

I added the DARK tag at the last minute because... it IS a bit dark. Also, originally, Chrysalis DOES have sex with the guy (still TEEN rated; it's all implied), but I thought that would only cheapen Chrysalis. If she wants your love, she's gonna take it, damn it!