Johnny Bravo in Equestria - RGRE

Today, your second day in Pony land, you were formally introduced to Twilight Sparkle, and her five tag-alongs.

"Twilight, you can't just ask poor little Johnny to, to debase himself like this, why it's downright unmarely of you, what would your father think?"

That's what little Miss Rarely is saying behind the closed door anyway, but you're not giving it much attention. Because you've just passed a mirror. And you're Johnny Bravo. You snatch at some scrolls and a quill, and reach down to grab the little lizard man tasked with guarding you.

Soon, as Princess Celestia relaxes on her throne during Day court, a flash of green light signals a scroll popping into existence before her. She unfurls it to read, 'Hey big momma, I need the ponice, a handsome stranger has broken into Twilights home.' After a few seconds, another scroll flashes in front of her. 'Oh wait, that's just me.'

You drop the little lizard back down and run your fingers multiple times through your hair.

"Man I'm pretty."

As the door you're stood by opens, a slightly exasperated Twilight smiles to you. "Okay Johnny, I think we're ready now."

You stride inside, the five other mares sat down in a semicircle, before Twilight sits down to complete the set.

"So what's all this about, you need my manly ways in some way?"

"Uhhh, whatever manly ways are, I don't think so." Twilight begins before Flash nudges Appletini.

"Unless manly translates to studly, amIright?" Flash snickers before getting an elbow from Appletini and the stinkeye from Rarely.

"Well as I was saying, I've finally managed to convince the girls that as a new species, and the only one of your kind, I, we, well... We sort of, need to study... Your anatomy. Only what you're comfortable with though! I-I'm not some matriarchal, down with the stallionism movement kind of mare or anything, heh."

You raise an eyebrow. "So... What do you need?"

"Can we see your body Johnny?" Ponkle Pop asks.

"Heck, why didn't you say so?"

You spin around, and your black t-shirt goes flying off, colliding with Butterfly and hiding her completely. If you were paying attention, you'd hear a very deep inhaling sound, and an 'oh yeeaah....' before she'd slide the t-shirt down just enough that she can see you. But you're not.

"He ha hoo!" You strike three poses, making your mountainous body bulge, muscles bulging out from your blocky chiselled frame.

"So what do you think, perfect, or perfectly perfect. Ha ho!" You move quickly as you pose from one shot to the other, finishing with a double bicep pose so you can look down at the six of them.

Twilights pencil is snapped in half, the front half of it having drilled a hole straight through her notebook, her eyes wide and her mouth opening and closing. Rarely has bitten her lower lip so hard it's drawn blood. Appletini is desperately fanning herself with her hat. Flashes wings are stood straight up and is panting with her tongue hanging out. Butterfly has your t-shirt draped over her muzzle as she breathes, the black fabric hiding the rest of her body, but her eyes are sparkling as she gazes at you. And Ponkle Pop has fallen over, a leg twitching in the air.

Heh, of course, perfectly perfect. Now if only you could find some babes around here to impress. And why'd they all decide to sit down in those puddles?

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"Ah'm tellin ya Rainbow, ya can't be takin advantage of him like this. He's pure, innocent, too good for this world!"

As you stride through ponyland with your new friends, the male populace stares at you in envy. Only natural of course when you have the greatest gun show on Earth. Pony world. Whatever.

"He ha ho!" You cry out, striking poses while walking, black t-shirt fit to burst as it's moulded like a second skin to your bulging muscles. You don't catch your friends stumbling and tripping over themselves.

On her back with a hoof twitching in the air, Dash eyes you hungrily, "I'd take advantage of him if you know what I mean, heh heh."

She's roughly pulled back to her hooves by Raritys magic as they all quickly catch up to you. "Oh yes of course Darling, colts just love being treated as objects with no regard to their feelings. You're obviously the expert here. What were the names of those stallions 'begging for you to take them home' last weekend?" Rarity asks.

"O-oh, well, you wouldn't know them, there was... Hoof... Cleaner and uh, Whirr... Burr..."

"Thank you sir?" AJ concludes before the girls break out in a giggle at Rainbows expense.

"Anyway, point is poor lil Johnny don't know he's bein all.... Downright sexy when he does these things, we should be protectin his innocence, not takin him out clubbin! What if some mare tries ta roofie him?"

"Oh come on AJ, I'm sure it won't be that bad, we'll see him shake his bubble flank around, no harm no foul."

You stride right on up to the doors of the club, and with a mighty boot kick and slam them open. The music scratches to a halt, and all eyes in the place turn to you. "That's right lil mommas, the party animal Johnny Bravo has arrived!"

You spin around and moonwalk right into the middle of the dance floor."What is this a party or a morgue?" You look down to a little pony, gazing up at you with wide eyes. "Come on ponies, loosen up!"

The music is hesitantly started up again. You reach far down, sinking your big fingers into the mares ass as you squeeze and raise her up, starting to shake her all around. "Yeah that's it momma, shake it, hoo, ha!"

You finally drop her back to the floor as it looks like she's more loose and limbered up now. You didn't see her holding a drink when you lifted her up, but she must have spilt something with all the fluids splashed on the floor below her. Everyone still looks so stiff and unmoving.

Time to break out your signature move. "Do the monkey with me!"

At this, all hell breaks loose. Two thirds of the mares trying to fight to get to you. The other third fighting to keep them back. And the colts having drinks knocked over them and trying to back up from the pandemonium.

"Back Lyra back, we don't know where he's been!"

"He gave us consent BonBon, he gave us conseeeent!"

"Dangit Fluttershy stop, he don't know what he's sayin! Rainbow help me hold her!"

"I AM!"

"He wants me, he wants us to do it!"

Tables are used as barricades to try and keep the hungry mares back.

"Hold on my darling, I'll save you soon!" Rarity calls out while she and Twilight hold back Pinkie.

"Come on girls, he can't be that naive, he's practically begging for us to ride that party cannon!"

You continue dancing, unperturbed from the added weight of ponies holding onto your legs, torso, and arms, all gyrating and rubbing against you, moans disguised by the music in the air. These ponies sure have some weird dance moves.

Now if only you could find some chicks...

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Since our gaze did meet across from my throne, I knew you were the one,
your beauty and grace unparalleled, it dwarfs my rising Sun.
The curves of your body, the softness of your lips, how I long for the chance to touch,
if I could spend each day worshipping in awe, I know you'd like it very much.
Your soul is bright, your heart a delight, your smile a Godsend, it's true,
each moment I have alone, anytime my thoughts drift away, I always am thinking of you.
The baritone of your voice, each move that you make, it gives my body the shivers,
and when I think of you above me, gazing down, it sends me all aquiver.
I long to feel you, to touch and be touched, to let you do as you would with your hands,
any decision I make, any motion I take, I find they all have you in my plans.
I've pledged my life to my kingdom, yet for you, I'd pass on my Crown,
move away for a simpler life, you and I, in a little old town.
For you I'd do anything, please name it, to show you I really care,
fame or solitude, luxuries or a simple life, I can be that kind of mare.
And any others you desire, with how wondrous you are, I know they'd beg to be in our herd,
whatever you want, or need, I am eager to please, you have only to say the word.
This poem is so difficult, when I think of you, my heart flutters like the wings of a dove,
but if you give me a chance, and let me hold you close, I think you too could fall in love.

At least that's what you had planned on saying the next time you'd meet Johnny. Instead you find yourself giggling and snorting like a schoolfilly and blushing up a storm.

"Well if you thought Johnnys was good Princess, ahem... A unicorn and a pega-"

"Yes yes Twilight that's very good, please fetch us some more tea." You usher your student away without looking.

How could you possibly look away, or hear her in the first place, when this mighty mountain of a... Man, yes, man, has captured your very heart with but a glance and a charming sentence. How could you even notice the five of Twilights friends and your sister Luna all sat with you, when you're suffering from a tunnel vision of love.

"And then I says, 'Hey baby, you're pretty, I'm pretty, why don't we take this back to your place and stare at each other."

Instantly you find yourself giggling like silly, running out of breath until you're wheezing.

"Really sister I expected better of you, this is pathetic." You ignore her, and don't bring up that shrine to Johnny you saw in her wardrobe.

How could you possibly have been so lucky to have this hunk dropped through the universe and delivered straight to you.

And how could you have been so unlucky as to have so many jealous noble colts cry out that this new species should be taken to Twilight, the Princess of friendship, so that his wild, untamed ways could be civilised. It's not his fault a party of school-fillies were taking a tour of the castle when he elected to show off his leopard print underwear! You never should have allowed colts to own titles, ungrateful bastards.

"So, my sweet Johnny..." You can't help but blush at the thrill you get at calling him yours. "Are you typical for the males of your species?"

"Ha! Typical? No-ones as sassy..." He stands up from his seat, spinning back, his powerful musky scent bathing you all.

Luna is already struggling to stop her eyes from rolling back. Who's pathetic now sister? Twilight races into the room, and comes skittering to a stop. Seems she's learnt that these displays can happen at any time.

"Studly?" He swings that huge slab of a muscled arm around, the revving of some heavy machine roaring up in the background, before he tenses his arm, a huge boulder of strength rising up.

"Boom!" All your heads lurch back a few inches, as if you all just felt the power exploding from that globe of rounded muscle.

"Check the pecs." He spins back towards the table you were all seated at, his torso suddenly bare.

"He ha hoo!" With each flex, his chest muscles contract to his will, and you all feel an accompanying jolt of pleasure shoot through you each time.

It quickly becomes unbearable as you gaze upon his magnificence, but you keep hold of the moan that wants to shriek forth from your lips as your whole body is attacked with pleasure. You can barely keep your head from slamming into the table, your body suddenly feeling so weak from your release.

He of course doesn't know what you've all just done. Just like his muscles, he's deliciously dense. Not in a bad way of course, you know he must have a brilliant mind, a poets heart, a lovers embrace... He's perfect... He's just innocent is all. Like the freshly driven snow...

It takes you all a few minutes, while the oblivious, gorgeous Johnny at some point put his clothing back on. A shame, but how could you even concentrate without it? His species must have designed it to contain his studliness, even if it does seem like a crime to do so.

"Ah, y-yes... Such a statuesque form could not just be, typical... And what of the females of your species, what are they like?"

"Hoooooooooo momma! Everything about them just drives me WILD!" Of course he'd have such love for the opposite sex.

Such passion, such desire. He wouldn't care about their titles, what they own.. They wouldn't have to woo him, have to put on a show... He'd love them for them, he'd love them down to the very essence of their being...

"The hair, the lips, the legs, the hips, everywhere Johnny goes, Johnny sees babes of all shapes and sizes, and Johnny's got enough love for them all."

You smile dreamily towards him while backing up slightly from the table, giving yourself room. "And, what of mares... What of the mares in our world..."

You sway your head back and forth, your illustrious mane following, whipping wildly before you stay still, your ethereal mane flowing everywhere. Your body is turned to the side, allowing him a full profile view with your neck high while you look to him. You dip your slender stomach low, arching your back to make your huge round flank jut out as far as it can, while exposing your heavy teats, usually hidden by your thick shapely thighs.

You raise your wings up high, freshly preened as your chest puffs out in front of you, your soft fluffy tuft ever so inviting. You press your hooves firmly into the ground in front and behind you, making your legs look as long as possible, stretching your body, showing off every curve you have to give.

You flutter your long eyelashes towards him, eyes sparkling. You lick your plump pouty lips, making them shine with moisture as you gaze at him with a longing you wouldn't know was possible were it not for him. You may have completely forgotten the poem, but you weren't going to clit this up. "Do you think of us in the same way?"

"Nope!"

You fall over yourself and soon collide with the table, flipping it upside down and getting tea over everyone. You scramble to your hooves, backing up. Usually you'd be mortified at spilling a drink on a colt, especially the prettiest colt in all of existence, but instead you stare at him in horror.

It feels like he just stabbed you in the heart. Your entire life felt like it had led to that moment, the moment where you'd confess your love to your soulmate and live happily ever after. He sits there with a perplexed look on his beautiful face, one eyebrow raised, as you try not to let the insult completely destroy you. It wasn't meant in spite. And it wasn't really aimed at you... But all of pony kind..... Wait, he doesn't find any mare appealing, at all?

Realisation dawns on you, and with tears in your eyes you rush towards the kitchen, throwing Twilight along with your magic. There you find Spike, preparing the food you'd all be eating. Good old Spike, at least he knows his place, bastard nobles.

You plop Twilight down in front of you. "Twilight, from this day forth until otherwise noted, you are no longer to go on friendship quests, or write me friendship reports."

"Wh-what, but friendship is the most important thing in Equestria!"

"Not anymore it isn't, this is a much higher calling. Your mission is now to help Johnny get over this species barrier he has, to have him find ponies desirable. I expect reports from you and your friends whenever you overcome a hurdle. I must make him mine Twilight, I MUST win his heart."

Twilight nervously looks left and right, struggling as she too seems to have just had her whole life, her purpose, ripped away from her. "But... Friendship... But... I... I understand that it's a grand goal to work towards, but-"

"You will be the first mare after Luna to join our herd."

"You can count on me Princess!" She salutes, pushing her tuft out in front of her.

You let out a sigh of relief as you wander back out, to see Luna cuddling with Johnny, sat in his lap, running her tongue along his neck, the highest she can reach from this position. She visibly shivers from his undoubtedly delicious taste, her horn alight, the other girls pounding at a ghostly blue, twinkling shield that surrounds them.

"Luna get off him!"

"He has tea on him sister, I am BEING POLITE!" You drag Luna away to the chariot waiting outside, you can't be around Johnny right now, it would hurt too much. As you're both being flown back to Canterlot, during the frustrated silence, you turn to her, relenting.

"Okay, what did you get?"

She smiles as she raises up a long, thick golden lock of his mane. "Score right?"

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You can't help but smile as you look at Johnny and the now broken school desk he was sat in. "Sorry Twi, I don't think these were made with my machoness in mind."

No... No they certainly weren't... "That's okay Johnny, just take a seat on that beanbag chair."

This is just perfect. The chance to teach a gorgeous otherworldly stallion in your makeshift classroom. Just like your neighponese comics. The stallion in question more than twice your height, and bizarrely with cute beady foal eyes in comparison to his over-muscled body, and often a Janefilly personality.

You only discovered that while stalk- err, making sure he had everything he needed in the bathroom. Not that you saw anything else! You weren't that kind of mare, you were just interested to see what lay behind those shades of his. And as he washed his face, and opened his eyelids, what a surprise you got. Then again, the eyes are the windows to the soul. It's only natural his would be the small, adorable, innocent eyes of a foal.

You let out a sigh at the memory of such serene and delicate beauty. Such contrasts seem to be the norm with him though.

You never thought you could fetishize muscles like a few mares do, the cuddlier but sleeker stallions always yours and most other mares favourites. And yet this giant musclebound being has such beauty in his alien form.

Stallions like Bulk Biceps have great size, but such coarse muscles with angry veins and twisted flesh, skin looking too taut for them, like they could rip at any moment. Yet even without a thin layer of fur, Johnnys' perfectly smooth skin looks, well, perfectly smooth. Unblemished skin, rounded packs of heavy muscle all working in tandem, his body almost like a delicate yet powerful machine you can see working with each of his movements, muscles gliding against each other, flexing and relaxing when needed.

Far larger than Bulk Biceps yet somehow without any of those drawbacks. But in comparison to his animalistic strength, he has such coltish splendour.

For example, his mane is glorious.

You've seen colts in Canterlot spend small fortunes at manedressers, coming out with manes and tails that pale in comparison. You're sure that even if a bucket of water was dumped over his head, rather than ruining it, it would only serve to make him prettier. Golden locks cascading over his muscled... Trapezius and Pectorals... Yes you're sure that's right.

Magnificent...

Then there are his hands, and what might as well be miniature protective hooves at the end of each one, on his thick fingers. And again, in stark contrast to his large, strong hands, that could squeeze... Areas of you... Those shiny protective shells seem to be perfectly manicured.

It's things like that, his full lips that almost promise to be soft, or his fine tailored clothing, all contrasting to his overwhelming form. Each highlighting the other to an even greater degree, like black on white. And of course that's just the visual... His deep voice is like the richest of chocolate.

You never understood metaphors like these, they seemed so randomly plucked from the air, no rhyme or reason, and yet with him it's the first thing that springs to mind. So deep it reverberates through you, his voice always loud. Yet each word passes his lips with purpose, he draws them out, adds on ten syllables to a word that only needs one or two.

When his lips part, you instantly listen, hanging onto whatever he might announce to the world. You must admit, you often find yourself bored when colts talk. It's almost like they have no desire in the thing they're trying to get you to be interested in, and are just going through the motions.

When he speaks, it doesn't matter what it's about, he speaks with a grand authority, his passion almost burning you, not a single word wasted. He's like a good book.

.........Okay, you'd better not think that again until later in bed, your whole body just started spasming.

And then there's his scent. Stars above it's a wonderful mystery. A little sweetness, some tang, something alien, mixed with such a heavy musk. And yet it's a scent that shouldn't work. Individually fine, but mixed together they shouldn't all be coming through so clearly, making your eyelids droop and a dopey lust filled half-smile form on your face. Delighting your senses in a way it just couldn't if it was manufactured.

It makes you wonder how he might taste, and how... Certain areas of him might taste even better... And holy horse apples you haven't even smelt him when sweating yet. That would only intensify it. Maybe you should incorporate some sort of test to get him all hot and sweaty... Running, lifting things up then putting them down...

Pole dancing...

"Hey thanks for teaching me Twi."

You snap out of your thoughts. "O-oh of course Johnny, I'd do anything for- I mean, it's no problem! But uhhh, where are you going?"

You look to him in wonder as he stops in his tracks, almost out the door. "I meant thanks for teaching me today, times up. Old Johnny here's got a 'free massages for life' ticket he needs to cash in at the spa! Thanks for teaching me how to match wits with a mime Twi!"

And with that, he's gone. You look up at the clock to see you'd been standing in place, gazing at him while stood still and thinking to yourself, for the entire first lesson. You take out your list of lesson plans and write down 'Mime practice' just above 'How to give Twilight her first kiss', and give it a big angry tick.