Celestia rose in the darkness of morning. The sun wasn't out, how could it be until she made it so? Despite that, she felt something was off. She considered it even as she prepared herself to raise the sun.

As she turned away from a mirror to approach the balcony, she realized what was wrong. Slightly reddened, one part of her body spoke of her condition. She had become fertile. "I'd best handle this." She put it aside for a moment and walked out onto the balcony in her dignified gait. There would be ponies watching, waiting. There always were.

She had no intention of letting them down. She unfurled her wings as her horn glowed the yellow of the sun. She could feel her magic wrap around the great celestial body whose presence defined her. Its heat echoed her own, though its warmth provided for all life, where hers could only manage one at a time, two with luck. She raised her head as the darkness was banished and the sun emerged from its sleep, rejuvenated just as she was. It would bathe her dear little ponies for one more day.

"Raven," she called out softly.

The door to her chambers swung open instantly, as if Raven had been waiting just on the other side, awaiting her summons. "Yes, Princess Celestia? Good morning."

"And good morning to you as well." She dipped her head at her loyal administrative assistant. "I have entered estrus."

"Heat?" She looked mildly surprised. "Do you want me to move things around for you?"

"I do. Have eligible stallions come to court in service of their kingdom, and princess. I will select which one will have the honor of the act there."

Raven's cheeks warmed softly. "O-oh. I confess, I thought you would... resist such things."

Celestia waved a wingtip at Raven. "It's another part of being alive, like breathing. How do you think I've gained so many relations? It only strengthens the kingdom. I don't enter estrus that often, as you are likely aware. I have no intention on letting the opportunity pass."

Raven bowed low before scurrying off to do as she was bid.

Celestia had her breakfast, read the morning paper, drank some tea, and went about her day as it normally went. Being in heat did not make her, or any other mare without a mental condition, into a frothing maniac. It was nature's little nudge to seek a mate. She knew she was doing just that, and had no reason to be on edge. When it was time to enter court, she did so with head held high. Her tail was also higher than normal. Her condition would be no secret.

She saw a great many faces that didn't normally attend court, and she smiled. Raven must have done well. "It is a pleasure to see you all," she called out as she assumed her position above most of the court. "As I hope you are all aware, today is a special day. We will be postponing matters of law to see to a more... personal... affair."

A hoof went up in the front row. It was Prince Blueblood, though duke was his formal title. "Yes, Blueblood?"

He rose up and nodded to the court before facing Celestia. "This is a farce, only one pony here has the pedigree and refinement to perform this task to your pleasure, and you're looking at him."

Celestia raised a brow at him. "And why do you think that?"

He waved a hoof over himself. "Is there any doubt to my lineage?"

She allowed a small smile. "I doubt any here could call it to question, why, if you trace it back far enough, we are related, as is widely known."

Blueblood clopped the wooden railing in front of himself. "Precisely! And we are not so close as to cause issue. Let us dispense with this hearing and do what is right."

Celestia gave a small dismissive wave of a hoof. "I will give it due consideration, but I would like to see who else wishes to place their own motion to proceed. Raven?"

Her loyal unicorn secretary hopped in place. "Yes?"

"I trust you have a list?"

"I do, your majesty." Her horn glowed as she pulled out an ornate scroll that unfurled under her magic. "Shall I begin?"

"Please."

Blueblood sank to his seat with a sour expression as Raven called out the first name, "Sunburst, royal magical advisor to Princess Cadance!"

The bespectacled unicorn rose rapidly and clumsily to his hooves. "P-present, your majesty." He dipped his head low before her.

Celestia returned the gesture, though her head came much lower. "Does the applicant have any royal blood?"

Raven shook her head. "Of common birth, with no ties of blood to any known house."

Celestia quirked a smile. "Good. Sunburst, why do you feel you can accomplish this important task?"

Sunburst adjusted his glasses as his eyes darted across the court. All eyes were on him. "W-well... I know a few spells..."

"A few spells?" She arched a brow at him.

"For the P-pleasure of the mare, assurance of f-foaling, and ease of delivery." He tugged at the collar of his cape with his magic, nervousness on full display. "I... would do everything in my power to make sure you have an... enjoyable experience."

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness." Celestia nodded gently towards him. "If Princess Twilight's reports are to believed, and they are usually accurate, you have prior relation to one Starlight Glimmer, do you not?"

He went red as a lobster. "Y-yes, Your Highness, but we aren't... an item."

"She is a very powerful spellcaster." Celestia raised a hoof. "Were she to become jealous, what might she do?"

Sunburst crossed his hind-legs awkwardly, as if to protect his precious genitals from the imagined fury of his former marefriend. "N-noted..." He sank back down into his seat.

A great shaggy male rose up next without being called. "Yak is tired of waiting! Prince Rutherford is most worthy of all." He waved broadly over the court. "All are weak ponies. You need strong yak! I smash foal into you, strong foal!"

Raven rolled through the scroll. "Prince Rutherford, leader of city of Yakyakistan, established friends of ponies."

Celestia inclined her head towards him. "An honor to host you, Prince. I am afraid I am a pony, just as they are. As gracious as your offer is, I would likely be 'smashed' along with other things in the vicinity."

"Huh, is true. You no yak..." He sat down, but looked accepting of the basic logic put forward.

Raven scrolled back up towards the top of the list. "Troubleshoes, entertainer."

A large pony rose up and gave a mild nod. "Nice to meetcha."

Celestia quirked an ear at him. "You don't look very enthusiastic."

"Oh, I don't reckon I have much chance. Luck isn't my thing."

Blueblood suddenly hopped to his hooves. "Auntie! You can't be seriously considering this! It was bad enough with a common pony that at least had a royal position, but this--" He pointed at Troubleshoes accusingly. "--is the lowest of the low! He's a rodeo clown and once criminal!"

Troubleshoes pointed at his face, then Celestia's. "And ah'm the only one that can look you in the eyes and tell you how pretty you are."

Celestia felt her cheeks warm. "What other... strengths do you claim to possess?"

Troubleshoes turned to the side, allowing his big sheath to come into easy view. "Ah'm big enough in all the right ways, your ladyship."

Celestia licked over her lips. "Add him to the potentials. Next."

Troubleshoes and Blueblood both sank down, the latter far more angrily than the former. Raven called out, "Mister Cake!"

Celestia perked an ear. Would Carrot Cake truly make a bid?

It was not Carrot Cake. A pink pony with an obviously fake moustache rose. "Yis! A pleasure to meet you," said what was clearly Pinkie. "If you choose me, I will do everything right! I know how to throw a party like none other!"

Celestia smiled with a quirk, wondering what Pinkie was up to. "And you feel you are capable of siring a foal?"

She put a hoof on her chest. "I wouldn't stop until I got it right, and I'd keep a smile on your face while we tried."

Celestia squirmed faintly. "I do not mean to... call you into question, but you do not appear to be a stallion."

She gasped so loud her moustache fell off. Pinkie grabbed it before it hit the ground and slapped it back into place. "That can be fixed!"

Celestia waved it away gently. "I appreciate your willingness to adapt, but if I allow it once, the court will overflow next time with mares. My foals will enjoy a lifetime surrounded by magic, allow at least their inception to be simple."

Pinkie sank back into her chair. "If you change your mind...?"

"I will know exactly where to look." Celestia nodded towards Raven. "Next?"

The doors to the courtroom suddenly burst open. The light dimmed and a crackle ran through the air as a powerful presence stepped forward. With a long horn, spread wings, and a devilish grin, a red and black alicorn strode forward.

"Next."

The alicorn paused, blinking. "What?" The guards came and gently nudged him back out of the courtroom without giving him a chance to plead his case.

Raven looked to the next line. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, former element of magic."

Twilight rose to her hooves and bowed low before Celestia.

Celestia tilted her head at her once-student. "I presume you heard what I told 'Mister Cake', yes?"

"Certainly." Twilight didn't look deterred. "Which is why it won't be me, exactly, that will perform the needed duty. With my research into the mirror portals, I feel confident I can extract a male version of myself from the infinite worlds that we exist beside. Such a pony would have the magic required to create a strong alicorn foal and, if they're anything like me, they would toss themselves completely into the task, becoming a loving and doting companion."

Celestia blinked slowly."And you would not be jealous that another version of you became my lover?"

Twilight tilted her head. "Celestia, I love you, as a mentor, peer, and so many other things, but I'm straight. I want you to be happy, and if that means another version of me is doing things to you with your consent, I don't see anything wrong with that."

A muffled cry of dismay came from the audience at Twilight's declaration of orientation. Eyes darted, but whoever had just had their future proposals shot down was not immediately obvious.

Celestia considered that a moment. It wasn't that she had never had such depraved thoughts of Twilight, she had drives, but she had pushed them aside to avoid improprieties and taking advantage of someone under her power. Things had changed. Twilight was her peer, and it would be another Twilight... "Add... her to the maybes."

"As you wish." Raven made a note as Twilight took her seat. Raven's eyes moved forward on the list. "Bulk Biceps, stallion of many talents."

"Yeah!"

"Next."

"Aw..."

Raven cleared her throat as she rolled up the scroll. "One 'Mister Cake'."

Celestia reared up a little. "Didn't we already go over 'him'"

Mister Cake, the real Mister Cake, rose up. "N-no, your highness."

Celestia carefully forced herself to a more neutral expression. "I see. Aren't you... married?"

"W-well, it's not like she--" He didn't get to finish his words. Teeth found his left ear and Misses Cake began dragging him free of the court, ignoring his cries for mercy.

Celestia stood up. "I think I've reviewed enough stallions for the day. Will the two maybes meet me in my waiting room? We have details to discuss." She turned and strode away, the twitches of her tail the only hint that her mind was on things other than the usual clear matters.

Raven rolled up her scroll. "Court is adjourned!"

Author's Note

A silly little tale for silly people. Are you silly? Did you like it? Hate it? Let me know! I read every comment.

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