Welcome to Pinkie's Pies Pizzeria!
Ding-dong!
I love it when the doorbell rings. Especially when I ring it. Because it means I get to meet another potentially satisfied customer!
I’m Pinkie Pie, and about a year ago, I decided to expand my horizons by opening a new pizza restaurant. It blew up overnight! Literally. It took quite a while to clean everything up and start again. Only that time, it figuratively blew up overnight!
Now here I am! Standing in front of my next customer’s door after a good bike ride to their house, ready to give them their order. And boy, is it a doozy! My Pinkie Sense has never been wrong before, but seventeen large pizzas and two 2-liter bottles of soda? This has got to be for a birthday party! That means there will be a lot of happy customers. And a happy customer makes a happy Pinkie. So that makes a lot of happy Pinkies! ...Wait, no, I’m just one Pinkie. I mean, I was more, but that’s something I don’t wanna touch on again.
My fingers wrapped around the edges of the bottom pizza boxes in anticipation. My brow was soggy with sweat underneath my white-and-yellow Pinkie’s Pies cap. The Pinkie’s Pies logo on my white shirt moved up and down with my bountiful chest as I took every breath. And my tan khaki shorts... Well, they were snug around my rump. You won’t hear me complain about my snug khaki shorts!
Suddenly, the door opened, and out came my very good friend (well, everypony is a friend to me) Derpy Hooves! I can instantly hear children laughing and playing in the house. I was right on the money. “Hey, Derpy-Doo!” I called out. “Pinkie’s Pies delivery is here! I’ve got six cheeses, seven mushrooms, four green peppers, and two bottles of Pinkie’s own cotton candy soda!”
Derpy’s adorably wall-eyed face stretched into a wide grin. “Oh, Pinkie! Thanks so much!”
“Let me guess: it’s Crackle Pop’s birthday, and all his friends are invited?”
“Yeah! How did you know?”
“Well, I’m not Ponyville’s resident party-planner for nothing. Even if I don’t plan the parties, I’ve got the birthdays memorized by heart.” I helped Derpy set the pizzas down on a nearby table, then pulled the sodas from my satchel and set them down next to the boxes. “There we go. That’ll be 174 bits.”
“Oh! That’s, um... 10 bits per pizza and 2 bits per bottle of soda, right?” Derpy took out a few small sacks and handed them to me, then she took out another one and fingered through it.
“Yeah, exactly! Sounds like somepony is working on their economic calculations.” I smiled as I searched the sacks. Each sack contained five neatly-wrapped rolls containing 10 bits each, making a total of fifteen rolls, or 150 bits. I just needed 24 more.
“Well, of course. I have to keep a stable income for my little brother,” Derpy replied as she fished out two rolls and 4 loose bits and placed them in my hand. “There you go.” She then handed me two more rolls. “And here’s some extra for you.”
“Thanks, Derpy!” With my mission completed, I pocketed the bits and ran out the door to my bike. “Say hi to Doc for me!”
“Not a problem!”
Soon after I arrived back at my pizza restaurant, I found Twilight Sparkle standing at the front counter, her arms filled with books stacked up to her chest. “Hi, Twilight!” I called out.
Twilight turned to me and smiled. “Oh, hi, Pinkie. I’m guessing you had a big delivery?”
“I sure did! And I’m guessing you’re here for the half-cheese, half-sapphires pizza?” Spike sure does love his sapphires!
Twilight rolled her eyes playfully. “Yes, Pinkie. I made the order myself.”
The ding of the oven rang out. “Just in time, too! What a cowinky-dink!” I immediately pulled Twilight’s pizza out of the oven and tossed it neatly into a nearby box. With the box folded up and the pizza sealed for Pinkie Pie approval, I handed the order to Twilight. She used her magic to levitate it in the air, having her hands full with books. “Have a wonderful day, Twilight!”
Twilight smiled as she walked out. “You, too, Pinkie.”
I looked around at my restaurant and thought back to how lucky I was that my new business took off. It seemed like only yesterday when I pitched my idea to Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and they were understandably worried about me overexerting myself with two jobs to juggle. But I wasn’t worried, because ever since my new business blew up, I’ve been getting some new employees to help me out. White Lightning and Sea Swirl have been a really big help with the ever-increasing number of customers we’ve been having.
Speaking of whom, I found Sea Swirl in the back tallying up the bits. I skipped over to her and dropped my sacks off. “Hey, Sea Swirl! I got 174 bits from the last order!”
Sea Swirl smirked. “Well, that’s not surprising. It was a big order.”
“I know, but it’s always good to know we’re making good business! And I got 20 bits for my tip!”
“That’s good! I just wish all our tips were that generous.”
“Well, any tip is a good tip. It means we’re doing a good job!”
Sea Swirl smiled and got up from her chair. “Well, since you enjoy doing a ‘good job’, you can stick around for the next order. I got a meal for Lyra and Bon Bon coming up.”
I giggled as I plopped my plump posterior onto the chair, counting the money while Sea Swirl walked to the ovens. While I tallied the bits, I couldn't help but think about Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon. Those two ponies have really blossomed as friends over the years. Maybe they’ve even become something more than that... Ah, but that’s just random thoughts in my head. My brain is weird like that! Sometimes I’ll think of being a wild pony in the Everfree Forest... Sometimes I’ll think about exploring the belly of a dragon...
And another ding ceased my train of thought! That’s gotta be Sea Swirl’s LyraBon order. And just in time, too, as White Lightning flew in through the doorway, having completed her order.
“Whew! Another successful delivery to Canterlot!” she proudly proclaimed as she walked past Sea Swirl, giving her a passing high-five as the unicorn took her order out. Lightning walked over to me and dropped off her bits. “27! And a 13-bit tip!”
“Way to go, Lightning!” As White Lightning stretched out her arms and arched back in satisfaction, I couldn’t help but appreciate her being here. I’ve wanted to expand my business to Canterlot, but didn’t have the funds to expand there or the means to deliver there in the allotted time. That is, until White Lightning applied for the job and made this job much easier and much more fun. She was one of the fastest flyers in Ponyville (obviously not the fastest, that title goes to Rainbow Dash), and if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be as successful in this endeavor as I am now. She also seems to get along really well with the unicorns there. I’m not sure why, but...
And my train of thought was once again interrupted, this time by the phone ringing. Lightning dashed over to the phone and picked the receiver up.
“Hey! Thanks for calling Pinkie’s Pies! We deliver the best pizzas to bring a smile on your face! Pinkie Promise!” White Lightning was always so enthusiastic to speak to the customers. As she spoke with the customer, she wrote down the order on the notepad below the phone. “Alright, one cheese pizza and a side of garlic haysticks. That’ll come up to 15 bits. We’ll be there in 30 minutes, or it’s free! That’s a Pinkie Promise!” She hung up the phone and turned to me. “You ready for this one, Pinkie?”
“White Lightning, I was born ready!”
I parked my bike in front of the house and grabbed the satchel. It was a breeze to get here, with only 5 minutes to spare. With a happy skip, I knocked on the door, ready to greet this potential new customer with a warm meal and a warm smile.
The door opened and somepony I presumed was the customer looked me over. He looked a bit scraggly, but held a stern look on his face. “Yes? Can I help you?”
“Hello there, happy customer! I’ve got your order hot and ready to enjoy!” I presented the boxes proudly to the customer with a grin as wide as a manticore’s mane.
He eyed the boxes for a few seconds, then looked at me. “So, where’s my soda?”
“...What?”
“I ordered a cheese pizza, a side of haysticks, and a large soda. You seriously have to not care about your job if you’re not going to get something as simple as a bottle of soda!”
My grin faded away and my spirit deflated like a balloon. I couldn’t believe I got a customer’s order wrong. It couldn’t be possible. “But, sir, I have the receipt here, and my employee never listed--”
“Well, your employee is wrong! Look, if you’re not going to get my order right, I’m not paying for it! So just give me what you did bring, get my drink, and be on your--”
“Hey!”
My ears perked up as I looked up. I recognized that gruff voice!
Flying from the clouds, like a majestic eagle, was Rainbow Dash’s friend Gilda the griffon! She landed right next to me and glared at the customer.
“Do you have some sort of problem with my friend here?”
The customer was shaking like a leaf on a sugar rush, like his legs could give away at any moment. “W-w-what? No, I just, uh...”
Gilda’s deathly stare only intensified. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s smug little dweebs like you thinking they can swindle somepony out of their hard-earned pay. And we wouldn’t do that, now, would we?”
“N-n-no! Of course not! Here! Take the money! I’m not thirsty, anyway!” The customer dropped the bits at my hooves and slammed the door shut.
I stood there dumbfounded by what just happened until I realized something. “Uh, sir, you forgot your--” The customer quickly opened the door, grabbed the food, and shut the door. “--food.”
Gilda turned to me, her mood softened as much as possible for a gruff griffon girl like Gilda. “Hey, Pinkie... You’re, uh, doing pizzas now?”
I was still a bit flustered by what happened as I tried to respond. “Uh... Yeah! I decided to expand my horizons and make pizzas when I’m not making cakes.” We both stood there, awkwardly waiting for the other to respond. I decided to break the silence. “So, uh... you wanna walk with me back to the store?”
“Eh, sure. I don’t have much else to do today.” Same old Gilda, playing too cool for social interactions.
As I grabbed my bike and we walked away from the customer’s house, we continued talking. “So, Gilda, what brings you here? Is the griffonscones business going well back in Griffonstone?”
“Eh. Could be better. I mean, it’s cool that more griffons are liking the scones, but we can’t really rebuild our kingdom with just our limited supply of bits.”
A lightbulb flashed in my brain as I realized what was happening. “So... you’re saying you’d like to expand your business to us ponies?”
Gilda grumpily grumbled. “Well I’m not saying that exactly...”
“Omigosh, Gilda! Maybe me and Rainbow Dash could help! We can serve your scones here in Ponyville, and then we’ll give you the profits to help rebuild Griffonstone!”
“Honestly... I was kinda hoping for that... I was gonna ask Rainbow Dash, but then I saw you dealing with that smug dweeb and--” She suddenly stopped herself and turned away, a slight blush on her cheeks. “Uh, forget I said anything.”
I knew exactly what she was going to say, but didn’t want to press further. Instead, I just let a sly smirk sneak its way onto my face without her noticing. “Well, Gilda, once my shift is over, we’ll meet up with Rainbow Dash and work out our business plan! Until then, haysticks are on me! They come with free marinara sauce.”
“Yeah? That sounds nice.” I was almost surprised (almost) to find a smile on her face.
True to my word, we met up with Rainbow Dash once her shift was done, and our plan was set into motion. To this very day, we sell griffonscones along with our usual respective products, with my pizza restaurant and Rainbow’s burger joint. Since then, more and more ponies have developed a taste for griffonscones, and they can’t get enough of them. Some ponies even traveled to Griffonstone to get them directly from the source! Crazy, right?
I can honestly say, in my humble opinion, that that day was the best day I’ve ever had in this relatively new career of mine. And you can bet your bottom bit that that’s a Pinkie Promise!
Author's Note
This has been a long time coming! At least, as long as the preview picture was made by Omny87 and posted on Patreon. So when I got the go-ahead to make a story based on it, I was ecstatic! His art is really amazing, and he deserves all the followers he has and more.
Some of my own fans may be disappointed that it doesn't (or barely does) contain any implications of the fetish I'm usually associated with, but there's more to me than that. I want to expand myself to other audiences, and this adorable opportunity was too good to pass up.
Besides that, I hope you all enjoy this story! And please, feel free to comment your thoughts on this and any future stories I may write.
