Stultus Pila

by Jordan179

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1103

Spike is nervous before welcoming Ember to Ponyville. So Twilight Sparkle gives him something to calm him down.

YOH 1507 (right before the start of "Triple Threat"):

Spike is extremely nervous as he prepares to greet Ember at Ponyville. Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle finds something to calm him down ...

Takes place in the Shadow Wars Story Verse, but is definitely not canon to it. At least I hope it's not canon to it.

Published 2017-08-19 22:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-19 22:50:06 UTC

Passing the Ball

Spike the Dragon was nervous.

Today, he would play host to Dragon Lord Ember. She would be making an official visit to Ponyville, representing her whole nation, the Dragons of the Southeastern Isles, who were important allies of the Realm of Equestria. As both a Dragon by birth, and a Pony by adoption, Spike had a unique nature and status, and was perhaps the only being on Earth who could keep peace between the two Powers.

If he did well, it might usher in a glorious age of peace and cooperation between Ponies and Dragons, cementing an alliance which could prove vital in the mysterious troubles which Twilight Sparkle and her friend Princess Luna were so certain were likely to come in not too many years.

Or, alternately, if he screwed up, it could lead to a ruptured alliance, maybe even the Dragons being turned against the Ponies by their shadowy enemies. It might even lead to war.
It was a tremendous responsibility for a Dragon not yet seventeen years old. Which was even younger for a Dragon than it would have been for a Pony.

"Twilight," Spike said. "I'm really nervous. I need something to calm me down. How would you calm down?"

Twilight Sparkle had been poking around in a box with some of her old things that some Ponies had recently discovered buried under the wreckage of her old tree library. Discord and Pinkie Pie had missed it when they'd gone time-diving for most of her other mementos, and Twilight had long since given up on it. She must have left it in that secret chamber under the basement, where she had kept some of her special things, including that old replica Amareican National Air and Space Agency astronaut uniform she'd been working on to surprise Luna for next Nightmare Night, and given up on after Tirek blasted the library.

It was in the box, too! Twilight wondered how Luna would react when she suprised her with it next Nightmare Night, and felt her cheeks flush slightly at the thought. Heh. I'll look just like Dusk Skyshine in this. With that, she blushed even more hotly.

"Twilight!"

It was Spike. He sounded like he needed some help.

But there was something glittering deep in the box, where she'd shoved it for some reason. Not wanting Spike to see her obvious blush, she looked deeper. She saw a shiny glittering ball ...

"Twilight!"

Now Spike sounded annoyed.

To cover her embarassment, Twilight telekinesed the ball and touched it with one hoof.

The ball felt nice. All warm and soothing and friendly. Her worries melted away and she smiled warmly at Spike.

"Hur dur hur," said Twilight. "Duh?"

There was something wet at the corner of her mouth. She licked away the drool. It was tasty. "Spike-heh-heh-heh?" Twilight asked brightly.

"Of course it's me!" shouted Spike. "Twilight, what are you doing? I was telling you that I was worried about making a good impression on Ember, and you just zoned out or something. Are you all right? I'm kinda worried ..."

Worried? Now Twilight remembered the ball. It was something that she'd made once from an old North-Realm alchemical recipe. "The Cure For Worry," the old formula had read, along with notations by someone named "C. Quartz" that said "Dangerous. Only use under supervision."

Whatever that meant. Twilight had been thirteen at the time she had followed the formula and enchanted the item. She remembered that she'd been worried about something back then -- something involving embarrassment regarding her transformation to marehood -- and she remembered that when she'd held that ball, she'd had no worries at all.

Spike is worried! she thought, in a pale approximation of her normal lightning rational processes. If I give him the ball he won't be worried no more! She grinned and giggled to herself at her clever thought.

"Here, Spike," she said, focusing her mind powerfully to be able to speak coherently. She was one of the few mares of her generation to be able to accomplish such a feat, while both holding and looking at the Ball. "Hold this ball. Make happy!" She giggled again at the happy thought of making Spike happy!

Spike took the Ball.

Spike regarded the ball.

It was a pretty ball! So many happy shiny colors! It was like a little happy colors show in his claws. He chuckled and put the ball into his pouch.

"Thanks, Twilight!" he said. "Gee, I don't know what you did --" both he, and Twilight, had of course forgotten the Ball, as one always did when one wasn't looking at it -- "but I sure feel less worried now."

The world seemed brighter, and somehow simpler. He felt very, very smart, able to solve any problem with no real effort. "Well, I'm gonna go take care of Ember now!" He had a little difficulty figuring out how to use the doorknob, but he made it out of the room, only once stumbling over his own feet in the process, and walked out into the streets of Ponyville.

Twilight had helped Spike be happy. She felt a warm and happy feeling too.

She contemplated the NASA uniform and felt another kind of warm and happy. She wondered what Luna might do when she saw her in the uniform, and smiled at the thoughts this sparked. She knew that most of these things would probably not happen -- Luna was almost inequinely patient; Twilight herself terribly shy, in such matters -- but the thought alone made her very, very happy.

She remembered, as she was about to go into the street to join Spike, that she'd thought she glimpsed an old ball of hers in there. A special ball. One she'd made.

Ah yes! That ball.

Boy, it's sure a good thing I didn't give Spike that ball! Especially not before he had to do something diplomatic.

Now, what was that ball called?

Ah yes. She remembered the Crystal-Imperial phrase.

Stultus pila.

Or, in Equestrian ...

Yeah, it's probably a good thing I didn't pass Spike the Idiot Ball!

Author's Note

I think this is the only way to sanely explain Spike's actions as depicted in that episode ...

Timediving for Twilight Sparkle's personal possessions ... done by Pinkie Pie and Discord in Alara J Rogers' Last Draconequus continuity, and that incident has been adopted into the SWSV canon.

Dusk Skyshine, ancient astronaut ... as related in my "A Meeting by Moonlight," which also explains why Luna and Twilight are conducting a protracted courtship.