Are We the Baddies?

Chapters

Yeah, We Killed Him. But Trust Us, This Guy Was Horrid

Yeah, We Killed Him. But Trust Us, This Guy Was Horrid

"So what was it you wanted to talk about, anyway?" Spike asked as the waiter put down a delicious bowl of sapphires in front of him.

"Well," Thorax began, his voice just a light shade of wavery, "you remember the other week, when Ember and I were both in town?"

Spike turned red. "Yeah, I remember," he said, although he most definitely did not want to remember.

"You weren't present, but the two of us actually had a rather enlightening conversation." Thorax pondered for a moment, gaze wandering across the bright Ponyville streets and the little ponies walking by. "I mean, a proper heart-to-heart, it was. About the nature of leadership and dealing with people, friends and enemies alike. I think I like Ember."

Spike's ear flaps fluttered at that sentence, and his eyes lit up. He leaned over the table, standing up in his chair and lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Oooh, is that what this is about?"

Thorax blinked his confusion – then realisation hit. "What? No, no," he said, waving a hoof. "It's just... you know how I turned into a bear when I thought you were in danger?"

"Yep," responded Spike. "Then you beat your chest like a gorilla. I think you got your animals a bit confused there."

"I did?" Thorax asked.

"Yeah, it was pretty weird."

"Huh." Thorax didn't quite know how to respond to that. "Well, anyway. So you know how there's that group of renegade changelings I told you about?"

"The ones who want to remain in the old ways, right?" Spike asked. "Feed on love, look like nasty creepy crawlies."

"Those ones, yeah," Thorax said, nodding. "So I paid them a visit earlier. And I was like, 'hey, guys, so maybe it's time to let tradition go' and all, you know, the usual stuff."

"You said they don't listen to that kind of talk, though," Spike said.

"They don't!" Thorax said, banging a hoof on the table in frustration.

Spike began nibbling on a sapphire just so he had an excuse not to say anything.

Thorax seemed to calm down. "So Ember suggested to me that I should be more assertive when dealing with them. You know? Like, she said I should turn into a bear and show them who's boss."

Spike swallowed a chunk of precious gemstone. "Did you?"

"Yeah! I put my hoof down... well, more like my paw, really. I roared something fierce to make them fall in line."

"Aaaand?" Spike asked, although he worried that perhaps he didn't really want to know the rest of the story.

"Well, some of them listened. And some of them did not. And then I was like, hey, guys, come on, don't make me go any harder on you, you know I like you."

"I'm sure that won them over," Spike said. He may have been being sarcastic, or maybe not. That would depend on Thorax's response.

"No, it did not," Thorax said. So if anyone asked, Spike was being sarcastic there. "They laughed in my face! Even the changelings I thought were on my side ended up being swayed over to the renegades!"

"So, then what?" Spike asked. "I mean, that sounds bad, but... how can I help? Why did you ask to see me?"

"Then I kinda grabbed one of them and smeared them across the floor."

"You..." Spike blinked, then stuck a claw in his ear, swishing it about to make sure he could hear properly. "You what?"

"You know we changelings don't really have blood. It's just mushy stuff under the exoskeleton. Our organs are kind of just floating about."

"Uh... huh..."

"It went everywhere."

"I see—"

"Everywhere."

A few moments of pregnant silence followed. Thorax and Spike sat wide-eyed, gazes mutually avoiding one another. Thorax couldn't stop himself from remembering the scene – and Spike couldn't help but to imagine it.

"Everywh—"

"Yeah, I get it!" Spike said.

"I mean, the guy was proper evil!" Thorax insisted. He wasn't sure he believed his words himself. "Real hardliner neo-Chrysalis supporter, you know? Let's infiltrate the Crystal Empire and drain them dry kind of guy."

"S-sounds like you d-did the right thing?" Spike said, or asked. He wasn't sure himself, either.

"I... guess? I mean, the others fell in line right after that. That group of renegades is renegade no more."

"Sounds good to me," Spike said, hoping to cut the conversation short right there and then. "Maybe don't mention it to Twilight."

"But I mean, why do I call them renegades?" Thorax's insectlike eyes stared at the ground, brows furrowing. "Technically it was me who overthrew our legitimate queen. Now I'm actively seeking out 'renegades', changelings who did not want to be part of what was essentially a coup, and demanding they follow me. By force. Now that I'm done with this group, I think I'm going to continue seeking out whatever renegades are hiding in the hidden corners of the world."

"S-sounds like a plan," Spike cautiously said, so as not to anger the literal new king of an insectoid race of shapeshifters.

"Like," Thorax went on, "they have to change their entire ways of life. Fireflies, they even have to change what they look like. I'm not taking no spiky black changelings into my ranks, if you know what I mean. Like, I'm really hard on Chrysalis-related imagery."

Another bout of silence.