Unromantic

by Brony Scientist SLV

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Random, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 1666

Constant romance is hard.

Not every part of a relationship is a fairy-tale romance.

Published 2017-08-26 08:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-19 13:57:14 UTC

So.... is there a guide or something?

"So.... What now?"

As Twilight pondered the statement, she found that the question the chromatic mare made was a valid one. What now? They were dating. It was mutual agreement, and they had cemented it with a mutual and frankly amazing kiss. They had agreed to a formal consensual relationship. And, after the fireworks, the amazing and breathtaking moment that had led up to their mutual and cohesive bonding, they had just... began to sit there. Waiting awkwardly, leaning against one another.

Was there supposed to be some major epiphany, where they learned some new secret of the universe? It didn't seem to be the case. Maybe they were they supposed to kiss some more?

The idea seemed to be a little forward, to be honest. A single, amazing kiss seemed to be perfectly enough for now. There was little reason to get greedy. Besides, Logically, while more kissing would be nice, Twilight doubted it was the key to suddenly understanding romance.

But what else could there be? She had absolutely zero experience in dating. Should she offer Rainbow Dash Coffee? A late night snack? Offer to let her sleep in her bed?

That idea seemed even more forward than simply kissing, especially considering their new-found relationship. Even if the bed back at the castle was large enough to fit three separate ponies, with no chance of them even coming in contact with each other. Besides, Twilight had principals, after all, and Shining would kill both her and Dash, if he heard that they shared a bed right after they started dating.

Plus, knowing Dash, the innuendo and jokes that would result from that would be hazardous to both of their health.
Mainly Twilight's mental health, which would undoubtedly affect Dash's physical once she got sufficiently fed up.

So... What? Should they just go their separate ways?

That idea... well, it actually had some merit. It was awfully late out. And Dash had practice with the wonderbolts in the morning. And while Twilight didn't have anything pressing to do in the earliest parts of the day, she was somewhat emotionally exhausted. All this stress and unwarranted and foolish misunderstandings had undoubtedly put strain upon both of them, to be sure.

"I... I guess we just go home?"

At the suggestion, The rainbow mare blinked in confusion before making a small frown. "What, just like that?"

Twilight nodded, this time with a small amount of hesitance. Well, when she said it like that... "I... guess? I mean... it's late, and... It's not like there's a whole lot we can do right now. You go stuff in the morning, and... well... I'm tired."

Rainbow Dash, for the most part, didn't seem too put out. "Er, uh, yeah. Maybe tomorrow, we can set up... I don't know, a date? A date date?"

Twilight smiled a little bit at that, unsurprising when she found that it was a tad forced, due to exhaustion. "Er, yeah. Let's definitely do that."

One mare's gift is another's nightmare

"So... What do you think?"

Rainbow Dash tried her best to force a smile onto her face, but ultimately failed, only managing a shell shocked expression. But, to her luck, Twilight took her shock for genuine surprise.

Never in Rainbow's life did she expect Twilight to knit. Or, well, knit something for her. Sure, the unexpected gift was a nice gesture, one that she wished she had the immediate opportunity to return, seeing as she had barely been in Ponyville for five minutes before she was hunted down by Twilight. But while the gesture was touching, It didn't change the fact that, unfortunately, Twilight had little to no creative crafting ability.

Sure, she could make potions, or do alchemy, but weaving? Knitting? Drawing, beyond drafting blueprints and measurements for architecture?

She was a hopeless mess.

Case and point; The Sweater, with a capital S. It was a... what would Twilight call it?

Ah, yes. A non-euclidean abomination, a testament to all of Pony-kind's hubris and sins. It actually, genuinely hurt her eyes to stare at it, but, through sheer force of will, she kept her eyes trained on it. It was hideous, almost to a nauseating degree.

"So... you gonna try it on?"

Oh no. The very idea made Dash's almost non-existent fashion sense cringe in pain, before it tried to convince that death was a better option. But, at the same time, she knew she had to. She was Twilight's mare-friend. She was obliged to do mare-friend things. Like wearing gifts from Tartarus.

"It, uh, looks very... colorful."

It was true. It was colorful enough to make one with a Rainbow mane cringe. An impressive feat.

Twilight smiled at that, before nodding. On the bright side, Dash seemed to be getting mare-friend points.

"I'm glad you like it! Here, I'll help you put it on."

Dash forced herself to sit still, and slowly watched the dreaded Sweater slid over her head.

The things she did for ~~love~~ Like.

Manners

"Uh, Twilight? You're kinda being totally disgusting."

The Mare in question seemingly ignored Rainbow Dash's advice, and instead continued to gorge herself on the food in front of her.

It was like a food-based train wreak. Hay fries were flying, Burgers were being inhaled, and the nearby children were staring to tear up, at the travesty of the very sight of it.

But the best part? The expressions on Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy's faces.

"I... I think I'm gonna upchuck some chuckcakes."

Twilight was undeterred from her slaughter, however, and instead continued her unholy feast.

"Uh, Twilight? I... Um, maybe you could tone it down a bit?"

At the Yellow Pegasus' statement, Twilight stopped for a moment, and turned her ketchup covered face towards the timid pony.

"I'mma Princess. I can eat how I want."

And, Indeed, she did.

Breakfast

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Hygene

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The after-show

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Kicking

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Parents

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Parents, part 2

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Tipsy

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Tired

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Competitiveness

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Spike

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Affectionate

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Attention

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Forgotten

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Exercise

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Awkward

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Crusty eyes

As the colorful mare stumbled/stomped down the stairs of the hotel stairwell, Twilight noticed that Rainbow Dash looked like she had been run over by the train they were getting ready to board.

So, all in all, she looked slightly better than she normally did when she woke up in the morning. After all, she normally looked like she had been recently resurrected from the dead, with a mood to match the recently deceased.

"Coffee, Dash?"

The Rainbow maned mare gave a simple, exhausted grunt at the Princess' offer, but managed to nod nonetheless, before collapsing face first into a pile of soft, welcoming pancakes that Twilight had previously set up for herself, pointedly ignoring the fact that she was getting covered in syrup. And, all the while, Twilight watched in mild amusement, which was a stark contrast to the shock and disgust that was coming from both Rarity and Applejack.

"Dangit, Dash! Did ya get too heavy into the cider last night?"

Rainbow's response was as short as it was rude.

"Go ta hell."

The grumbled insult made Twilight roll her eyes, but regardless, she stood up, and moved to the nearby coffee pot, ignoring Rarity's affronted exclamation at Dash's "uncouth behavior."

It took a while for Twilight to come to terms with it, but the fact was that Rainbow Dash was not a morning pony. And, more-so, she didn't look like some fussy maned Fairy-tale princess when she awoke, either. No, she looked like she was consistently hung over, and typically had a mood that seemed to indicate that possibility. But, no, the truth was simple.

Rainbow Dash simply woke up, looking like hell. Every morning, every day. She didn't have nightmares from some tragic, unknown past, or had some disease that indicated that she was somehow dying, or at the very least, couldn't sleep. No, she slept well, all things considering, but, when she woke up, she looked like she fell down the stairs on her way to the breakfast table, hitting every step on the way down.

And, with that in mind, Twilight filled up a cup of coffee, added some sugar, and slid it over to her marefriend with a genuine, loving smile, watching as the mare clumsily grabbed the cup, and noisily/messily chugged it. The faster Dash could wake up, the faster they could go about their day.

And, sure enough, after a minute, Dash rose her head from the pancakes, and gave Twilight a grateful, if tired smile.

"Thanks, Twi."

"No problem, Dash."

Over-protective

As Twilight watched Rainbow Dash try to force herself into a chest plate, she found herself torn between exasperation, and irritation.

"Dash, for the last time, I don't need a body guard."

The mare, however, didn't seem deterred, and instead, gave an extra tug, which, to Twilight's chagrin, managed to properly place the royal Guard armor on the mare.

"And I said, I'm not letting you go to Las Pegasus alone. I've been there before Twi, and I'm not gonna let some... who-knows-who try and get all hooves-ey."

Twilight didn't even try to keep from rolling her eyes.

"I'm going to a seminar! There will be nothing like that anyway!"

The Rainbow Pegasus huffed at that, before putting on the Helmet she had sitting on the table. "Yeah right. I've been to Las Pegasus for a show, Twi, and I got groped, like, three times! That place is bad news."

And, just like that, Twilight froze in place, as did Rainbow.

"Who?"

Rainbow didn't respond, however, and instead chose to chastise herself. "I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that."

"Who, Dash?!"

The blue pony winced. "Uh, no pony you would know."

The Princess simply glared. "Try me."

"Well, uh, the mayor?"

And, just like that, Twilight turned around, and started angrily stomping towards the front door.

"I'm gonna kill him."

Rainbow Dash thought about trying to stop the mare, but, after a quick thought, decided against it. There would be no stopping her at this point.

Dang it, why did Twilight have to be so over protective?