Friendship Lesson #102: Mischievous Lunacy

“Alas, I must take my leave now,” Luna said. It was the last of the dreams the princess was seeing to for the night, and she decided to pay this particular pony a visit for a very good reason.

“I’ll see you at the gala,” the pony in question smiled, briefly hugging Luna.

Having wrapped up the last of her business, Luna began the transition from the dream realm to the waking world. Well, as ‘waking’ as five in the morning could get. Luna did a couple stretches to get some blood pumping through her limbs, then yawned as she strode over to her bedroom door to open it.

“Good morning,” Luna said to the dreary-eyed guard.

“Your Majesty,” he returned with a short bow.

“Could you please send for some coffee? A lot of it, too.”

The guard blinked. “I… Pardon me, Princess?”

“The gala is today, so it’ll help with how busy things will be,” Luna chuckled.

“Of course,” he replied, then began cantering off to the kitchen.

Hearing soft hoof steps coming from the opposite direction, Luna turned and saw Celestia walking down the hall. “How are we this morning?” she asked warmly.

“Cautiously optimistic about the gala,” Luna breathed.

“Oh come now,” Celestia playfully chided. “Discord won’t be a problem. Not like last year, anyway.”

“That isn’t my concern right now. This will be the first time a silver ticket has been given out in quite some time. I just hope it doesn’t do Shawn a disservice.”

“If any of the nobles cause a scene after the fact, then the posted guards will be quick to dispense with them accordingly,” Celestia said with a grin. “In any case, shall we make haste in our preparations? The tailors are expecting us for the final fitting of our dresses, and the Great Hall is being tended to as we speak.”

“I shall join you for breakfast once I’ve had my morning coffee and washed up,” Luna said.

Celestia pulled her sister into a hug and almost whispered into Luna’s ear. “I understand this will be the first time you’ve had free roam at the gala, and I can see how nervous you are. Trust me when I say Shawn will likely be more worried about offending you because of your stature than vice versa.”

Luna pulled back and smiled reassuringly up to Celestia. “I’m likely just over-thinking things,” she lightheartedly grinned.

“I’ll leave you to your morning coffee so you’re not tempted to rip off the nearest guard’s head,” Celestia jested.

“Thank you,” Luna returned. “I shall see you later this evening.” With a small peck just below her horn, Celestia let in the guard carrying a tray with a sizeable pot of coffee, an equally oversized mug, and enough sugarcubes to render a regular pony diabetic.

There was fanfare galore, fireworks dancing in the night sky, and cavalcades of carriages and ponies arriving at the Great Hall. Said carriages would stop next to a valet standing adjacent to a silken red carpet laid out all the way to the entrance leading to the wide open double doors. From one of these carriages emerged Shawn dressed in Rarity’s latest creation: a matte black blazer and dress pants with hues of midnight blue that you could barely make out under the surrounding lights. A gunmetal blue tie stood out against the fitting white shirt and rest of the ensemble. As Rarity said; “The colours are subtle enough that anyone who truly appreciates fashion will stop to do so.”

Twilight stepped out behind Shawn, her dress formed around her flank and chest with almost transparent, pastel blue and purple silk layered underneath the light turquoise bustle, adorned with crystalline stars interconnected with white lace. Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, also stepped out from the carriage, clad in finery of their own. However, there was no sign of Rarity or Spike with them.

Standing next to the doors to the hall were one of Luna’s thestral guards in traditional armour fitting for the occasion, and likewise a Solar Guard with golden armour checking tickets as each pony went in.

Twilight poked Shawn in the side to get his attention. “So what do you think of everything so far?” The poke barely registered with the human, whose starstruck eyes were drinking in the opulent sights. His arms were hanging loosely down at his sides, his head craning at all angles to catch glimpses of everything. Twilight swore she could see a lone tear fall down his cheek. “Shawn?”

“Wha-huh?”

Twilight giggled behind a hoof. “I asked how everything looks.”

“I… I just… Words fail me, Twi. I never, ever thought I’d see something as colourful and fantastically bombastic as this.”

“Almost like me, eh hot shot?” Rainbow said coyly.

“Rainbow, your traditional method of a meet and greet is ploughing into someone after a failed practice stunt, so I’ve learned to give rainbow blurs a wide berth. I swear I can still feel that cracked rib,” he said with a cheeky grin, and Rainbow just rolled her eyes with a playful “tsk”.

“Did Rarity say when she was going to get here?” Fluttershy asked. “She didn’t tell me why she wanted to remain behind.”

Twilight sighed despondently while hiding a smile. “She and Spike wanted to sit this one out.”

“Are y’all serious?!” Applejack exclaimed. “Those two wanted to sit out the gala of all things?”

Shawn smiled knowingly next to Twilight, and said; “I’m sure they have their reasons, Aj, let’s not let it put a dampener on the evening, eh?” They’d see the couple later on, anyway.

“But it won’t be the same without them!” she protested. Everyone fell silent after that.

The five of them continued up the line when, out of the corner of Shawn’s eye, he saw a familiar carriage pull up, and out stepped Rarity alongside Spike. Shawn beamed to himself, then nudged Twilight lightly and quickly thumbed over his shoulder. Twilight caught a brief glimpse, then quickly turned away. It wouldn’t do to spoil the surprise for everyone else.

“Shawn, there’s something I need to quickly take care of, you go on ahead without me. I’ll catch up to you soon, ok?” Twilight said, looking up to her friend.

“Sure thing, Twi.” Twilight then reared up on her hind legs to give shawn a hug, and made a couple last minute adjustments to Shawn’s suit. “And this,” she said, magicking a small metal flask from thin air and quickly tucking it in the inside pocket, “is in case you need it.”

“Did you just give me a flask?” Shawn blinked. “But won’t there be alcohol at this thing?” Twilight giggled, tapped her nose, and teleported away. However peculiar that might have been, Shawn shrugged it off and continued to wait in line.

A moment later, Shawn indeed felt a tap, but on his shoulder. He turned around to see who it was, and saw a tall, rather stocky unicorn with a styled and minimally oiled mane, with a simple black and white suit vest and tie. “Excuse me, but you’re the human I’ve heard so much about, are you not?”

“That depends on which of the half dozen of us you’ve heard about,” Shawn quipped. “And who might you be?”

“My name is Prince Blueblood, nephew to Princess Celestia.”

“A prince, eh? How come you’re waiting in line with the rest of us? Shouldn’t you be getting preferential treatment or something?”

“Sadly, there is no such thing. Celestia insists that everypony of rank and stature get ticketed alongside the commoners.”

Shawn raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t comment.

“Did you get an invitation?” the prince asked.

“That I did,” Blueblood said with a grin, flashing Shawn the golden ticket before tucking it back inside his suit’s pocket. “Did Celestia invite you?”

“Sadly, she did not,” Shawn replied, almost mimicking Blueblood, whose grin widened even further.

“A pity,” Blueblood said, disinterestedly inspecting a hoof. “That still begs the question of what you’re doing here.”

“Oh, I’m accompanying these fine mares, all of whom were invited by Celestia,” Shawn said, gesturing to Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Applejack.

“How do you expect to get in without an invite from Her Highness?” A condescending grin etched it’s way up the corner of Blueblood’s mouth.

“Ticket, please,” the thestral guard said to Shawn as he stepped up.

“Like this.” Shawn made a deliberate show to the snobby prince by removing the silver ticket from his suit’s pocket and giving it to the thestral guard, and Blueblood’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

“No way,” the Solar guard said in awe, momentarily neglecting the pony in front of him to stare at the ticket. “Luna actually gave out one of those?”

Behind Shawn, everybody who spotted the ticket was craning their head over everyone else to catch another glimpse of it. Blueblood’s expression in particular was beyond priceless, and Shawn was drinking it in.

“I almost don’t want to rip it,” the thestral sighed, reluctantly doing so anyway then handing the other half back to Shawn.

“You, my friend,” he said, turning back to Blueblood, “are going to remember me all night long.” Shawn flashed the prince the most facetious, shit-eating grin he could muster. To add insult to injury, Shawn flippantly saluted Blueblood before casually strolling inside.

If the fireworks and fanfare gave Shawn pause, then the interior of the Gala hall made his breath hitch. The checkered floor was polished to an absolute sheen, nearly squeaking under Shawn’s shoes. The musical ambience for the night was being played by a band off to one side; a stallion was tapping keys on a piano, a mare with a tuba wrapped around her torso, and none other than Octavia with her cello and Lyra with her harp. The soft music carried Shawn’s gaze towards the massive chandelier hanging from the centre of the ceiling, from which ribbons of soft red silk was delicately tied to the base of the crystal monument, fanning outwards and fixed against the walls, hanging low enough not make the place feel more crowded than it actually was.

At the end of the hall were several tables arranged around an almighty ice sculpture of Celestia and Luna rearing up. The furthermost table had the biggest cake Shawn had ever seen, rivaling anything Pinkie could ever hope to make by miles. The rest of the tables had various bowls of exotic fruit, hors d'oeuvres galore, punch bowls by the dozen with pyramids of champagne and wine glasses stacked next to them. Waiters mingled amongst the crowd, offering samples of the hors d'oeuvres alongside crisp champagne and smooth wine.

“Care for some champagne, Sir?”

The sudden voice from behind caught Shawn off guard, and he turned to see a smartly dressed unicorn levitating a half empty tray of bubbling champagne. “Oh, don’t mind if I do,” he replied, picking a glass up as the unicorn moved on. Shawn continued to mill about in wait for Luna’s appearance, and decided to get a bite from the buffet of delectable nibbles just ripe for the taking. A sheer white curtain that spanned the width of the Gala Hall was the backdrop for all the tables that stretched from one end to the other, the multiple-tiered cake being the glorious centrepiece for it all.

Shawn took a napkin from one of the piles and began putting a few bits and pieces on it, but when be passed by the cake, the curtain shifted slightly, catching his attention. Curiosity getting the better of him, Shawn craned his head around the base of the cake, and wasn’t quite prepared for what he saw.

Princess Celestia herself had her head stuck from between the parting of the curtain with a knife in her aura, levitating a rather sizeable plate and sporting a stupid-happy grin while her tongue poked out the side of her mouth.

“Watcha doing there, Celly?”

She almost jumped out of her skin. “Eep!”

“Yep, definitely a clinical case of Hoof in the Cookie Jar-itis,” Shawn said with a cheeky smirk. “Y’know, I heard the rumours about you and your love for cake, but I never thought you’d have the stones to swipe some in the middle of the gala.”

Celestia sighed in faux defeat. “What do you want in exchange for your silence?”

“King for a day?”

“Over my–”

“–fat flank,” Shawn finished automatically, his face split with a grin that was failing to suppress his snickering.

“You would talk to me that way?” Celestia said with a playful smirk.

“My dear, your dignity flew out the window the moment you decided to pilfer some cake.”

Celestia narrowed her gaze at Shawn. “There is only enough cake so everypony gets a small slice. I will send a piece of the same size I’ll cut to Twilight’s castle for you to enjoy afterwards.”

“Deal,” was Shawn’s immediate reply. “What about those that won’t get any?”

“I eat the shares of the ponies that I don’t like and divvy out the rest,” Celestia said with a cheeky grin. “Then I tell the others there wasn’t enough to go around.”

“Do me a favour and eat Blueblood’s slice for me. If you are what you eat, he must be the biggest dick around.”

“Oh, I couldn’t agree more,” Celestia said as she cut out two slices that could serve as a door stops for the throne room’s massive doors. “By the way, after I was done here, I was going to find you and relay that Luna is waiting in the palace gardens for you. Since you caught me, it saves me the trip. Now begone!” And just like that, she teleported away.

Shaking his head and laughing under his breath, Shawn turned to see none other than Twilight gawking at him with a rather confused expression. “Were you talking to the cake?”

“I convinced the apparently sentient cake to relinquish some of its sugary goodness. When we get back to the castle, we’ll find some waiting for us.”

“Celestia was stealing cake and she bribed you, didn’t she?”

Shawn blinked owlishly. “You catch on quick.”

“This isn’t the first time she’s done something like this,” Twilight sniggered. “Luna asked me to tell you that she’s in the garden, and to get you.”

“Celestia told me told me the same thing. I was just about to go see what’s up. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

“I’ll see you later, lover boy,” Twilight cooed, hip-checking Shawn as she swished her tail and walked off into the throng of ponies.

Shawn just rolled his eyes at the mare, then went to find someone to point him in the direction of the gardens. He probably should have asked Twilight.

After being pointed in the right direction by one of the guards, who happened to be standing at the exit to the gardens, Shawn began ambling through the gardens to find Luna. It was then that he realised that Luna didn’t say where she was, or how to find her.

“Psst!”

Hearing the sharp noise, Shawn’s eyes began darting to and fro, looking for the source.

“Over here!”

Thinking that it was Luna who was trying to get his attention, Shawn turned and went between two hedgerows. When he reached the end, however, Luna was sitting on her haunches, partially concealed by broken shadows from a nearby tree created by the bright moon.

Her ethereal mane shone like the night sky, the very constellations and stars flowing through her mane like a river sparkling at night. Her ears sported dainty silver teardrop earrings, and a single white rose was tucked behind her right ear. Gone was her usual royal peytral and slippers in favour of a pearl necklace with a white crescent moon as its centrepiece. On her forelegs were light blue stockings with white frills around the edges, and her wings had a black material loosely interwoven between the feathers while her dress fit all her contours to a ‘T’. A dark blue fabric with black trim and adorned with stitched white silk layered down her flank and legs, serving as the bustle.

“Woah,” was all that Shawn could muster.

“Shawn, so glad to see you made it,” Luna smiled.

“I can guarantee you that Twilight would’ve kicked me all the way to Canterlot had I refused your gracious invitation.” Shawn’s agape eyes never stopped studying Luna’s gorgeous dress.

“Shall we?” Luna asked, gesturing deeper into the gardens.

“After you.” Shawn stepped up to offer Luna his cocked arm, but momentarily realised that it it was impossible for Luna to take his arm in the same manner as a woman would.

“A human custom?” Luna said, noting Shawn’s blank expression.

“Erm, yes it is. On Earth, the woman would take my arm and I’d lead her to wherever she’d want to go.”

Nonetheless, Luna took Shawn’s arm with a wing. Pleasantly satisfied with the turn of events, he began leading Luna through the myriad of lush, beautiful gardens. Corridors of arched trestles decorated with variety of sweet smelling roses; dense hedges trimmed to nigh perfect ninety-degree angles, all the way to a lone bench sitting in the middle of an island of multi-colored tulips surrounded by a moat with goldfish, and a small bridge spanning the moat. It was there the two sat to observe the layout of the various rows of planters laid out before them.

“I’ve gotta know, why’d you invite me?” Shawn asked as he sat down.

“You’ve spent almost a year on our world as a representative of Earth,” Luna began as she took a seat next to the human. “The gala would be the perfect opportunity to branch out to see if good first impressions would rub off on everypony else attending.”

Shawn awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t think Blueblood would see things that way. He was behind me in the line to the entrance, and everything about him was looking down his nose at others.”

Luna smiled knowingly. “Blueblood being a noble, Celestia does her best to actively restrict what he can and can’t do because she knows what he’ll do if he can get away with it.”

“Keeping the dog on a tight leash, eh? I like that idea,” Shawn laughed. “But in all seriousness, it’s not realistic to get along with everyone you meet in life, is it?”

“It’s like that for everypony, which is part of the reason why you’re a diplomatic civilian. Sure there’s going to be a few bad eggs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t deal with them tactfully,” Luna winked.

Shawn raised an eyebrow at that, and a grin crept across his face. “I flashed Blueblood the silver ticket. If he held his golden ticket in such high regard because it came from Celestia, then he’s going to ruin his own night by dwelling on the significance of the one you gave me.”

Luna giggle-snorted, trying and failing to hide it behind a hoof. “Well played, Shawn, very well played indeed. So,” she breathed, “is there anything on your mind you’d like to talk about until the gala starts proper?”

“It hasn’t already?”

“Not until Celestia and I make our grand entrance. The first hour or so is to let everypony mingle.”

“Well… There’s one thing I’ve been wondering about for a while,” Shawn said.

“Shoot,” Luna said forthcomingly.

“You guys are powerful enough to move absolutely massive celestial bodies, so I’m curious to know what the most powerful spell you know is.”

Luna looked up at the stars, the question seemingly putting a damper on her mood. “On the occasion I’m asked that, it’s more a question of brute strength. My answer, however, is rather… sombre.”

“I mean, you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to,” Shawn replied apologetically. Luna smiled at that, which only confused Shawn.

“Let’s make a game of it, shall we? We take turns asking each other question, and the answers given must be honest. Does that seem fair to you?”

Shawn’s gaze lingered over the multitude colour and splendor around him, taking in a breath to savour the heavenly aroma of all the plants surrounding him. If his time with Twilight was anything to go by, sharing aspects about one another can only help strengthen bonds. It was like that old saying on Earth: The blood of the covenant is stronger than the water of the womb, meaning that relationships forged by choice can be stronger than ones created at birth. Something like that would only further cement his position as a trustworthy diplomat that humans and ponies alike could look up to. He looked to Luna, and something about her open expression told him that was her intention.

“Alrighty then,” Shawn said with a small grin. “This should be fun. Though, whatever is said stays between us, yeah?”

“Oh by all means,” Luna began. “To help you understand my answer, when I was reading your science textbooks, I came across the first rule of thermodynamics, that energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just changes state. Almost everypony, be they human, pony or otherwise, have some form of concept of an afterlife.”

“Are you talking about heaven or hell? That seems to be the most basic of understandings. And what’s that got to do with my question?” Shawn said.

“I can’t speak for your race, but this is my own experience. When our ponies pass on, their spirit, or soul, enters a realm of existence outside the tangible world you and I know. There they exist, floating like leaves on a breeze, until the day a new life is created.”

“That… sounds a lot like reincarnation,” Shawn ventured.

“In a manner of speaking,” Luna said. “The most powerful spell I know is opening a portal to this realm. Only, I can’t do so without a massive amount of magic.” Her head dipped slightly, her expression evening out. “The first time I tried opening that portal was the reason why I became Nightmare Moon,” she said flatly. “It was during my darkest hour that I tried to get rid of Celestia so I could rule the wider Equestria by myself. I siphoned magic power from the moon to cast the spell, and the overabundance of magic corrupted me. If I’d succeeded, Celestia would have effectively been erased from existence. The only reason why she wasn’t is because my sister barely managed to cast her spell to seal me in the moon that split second before I completed mine.” Luna looked up to the sky again, a grateful smile spreading across her muzzle as she sniffled.

Shawn lifted his hand to tenderly stroke her mane, something Twilight always enjoyed when she was feeling down in the dumps. Luna closed her eyes, smiling and murring as she enjoyed the soft touch.

“Before I came here,” Luna eventually said, “Celestia gave me this scroll.” She lit her horn, and a decently sized scroll poofed out of thin air. “One of Twilight’s reports, Celestia instructed me not to read it, only that you be made aware of the contents of some of her writings.” She levitated the scroll into Shawn’s lap.

Shawn went to unroll it, and the entire thing was about as long as he was tall. “Celestia also mentioned she didn’t read past the first several inches of parchment when she realised what it was about,” Luna said as Shawn began reading.

As Shawn got further down the page, his eyes lit up like a christmas tree, a mad blush forming across his face. It was of the day he and Twilight went to the beach, and a single thought raged through his head.

Twilight you cheeky purple bitch! She was... quite the stickler for detail.

Seeing Shawn’s eyes glued to the parchment in abject embarrassment, Luna took the chance to speak.

“My question to you is; what does it say?”

Shawn mechanically turned to look at Luna. “You can read it yourself on one condition.”

“Agreed,” came the princess’ immediate response.

“Burn it.” With that, Shawn handed Luna the parchment, then he looked in the exact opposite direction. After what felt like an eternity, there was only two words spoken.

“Oh, my…”

Shawn only heard the distinctive woof of fire chewing its way through paper, and he turned to look at a thoroughly flushed Luna. “I think I need to have a chat about Twilight about how much detail is permitted in her reports,” he said contemplatively.

“Something the matter?” Luna asked with a not-so-discreet cough.

“I’m here as a diplomat. With all due respect, that kind of thing could be seen as a conflict of interest. If word got out, it could potentially render the treaty null and void, something that I don’t want to happen.”

“You... don’t want to lose Twilight, do you?” Luna asked pointedly.

Shawn exhaled a deep, pensive sigh. “Not just her. I like you guys a lot. Pinkie and her rambunctiousness; Rainbow’s cocky attitude; Fluttershy and her equally adorable animals; how hard Applejack works, and lemme tell ya; Rarity sure knows how to make the most comfortable clothes I’ve ever worn.” Shawn punctuated his last point by shifting around on the bench. “Like clouds I tell ya.” He then looked to Luna with a sly grin. “You had two questions after you asked about the scroll, so I get an additional two.”

Luna playfully harrumphed. “Very well, then.”

“If Blueblood is Celestia’s nephew, would that make him your son?” However much of an innocent question that was, Luna promptly burst out laughing.

“Thank the heavens not!” she finally said after several mirthful seconds. “I would have sooner put him in the guard to teach him some humility than make him a noble. No, no,” she said, taking a couple breaths. “Blueblood is no more a nephew to either of us as much as Cadence is a neice. It’s… a rather long and contrived story. The short version it involves very distant blood relatives. Blueblood and Cadence only calls Celestia and I “auntie” for simplicity’s sake.”

“And when you say distant blood relatives, might I ask where that puts you in terms of age?” Shawn asked.

Luna put a hoof on her chest in mock offensiveness. “You would ask a princes such a question?!”

“I mean, I know how old Twilight and her friends are, and I’d venture Celestia is at least a couple thousand years old,” Shawn said with a knowing, nonchalant smirk.

Luna cleared her throat, shared a brief snicker with Shawn, and put on a more friendly visage. “Don’t say I said so, but Celestia is two-thousand one-hundred and six in a couple months. I, however, am eighteen-hundred and twenty-five. And now you have one more question, Shawn,” she said, sticking her tongue out at Shawn briefly.

“Ever since I heard about what happened between you and Celestia, may I ask what it was like on the moon?” That actually made Luna tense like a fully taut rubber band.

The princess heaved a crestfallen sigh, rubbing one hoof over the other comfortingly. “I shall say only this. There is great value spent in one’s own company, but a millenium of solitude is a fate nopony should endure. Even then, I’ve still got a long life ahead of me and a thousand years to catch up on, so I’m choosing to take the good and the bad and look forward to the future.”

Shawn could see Luna’s lip begin to tremble, so he preemptively, and unashamedly wrapped an arm around her middle to pull Luna into a hug. She nuzzled under Shawn’s chin as a contented smile banished the wavering lip.

“And what of Earth?” Luna finally asked.

“The exact opposite of Equestria,” he said momentarily, sighing despondently. “Everything is so mechanical and ordered. I was one of many that signed up for the Exodus project, and this just so happened to be where I ended up. On the rare clear day, I could see the crowded hustle and bustle on the streets below, but even then there was a thin haze of smog from my apartment, and the buildings were built almost to cram sardines into cans. Every other day, I had to call one of my neighbours to see how bad the weather was down below.”

After the sharing of solemn experiences, everything lapsed into a tense, yet comfortable silence of rustling flowers, fish splashing about in the water, all accompanied by the occasional chirp of an insect or nocturnal bird. Shawn kept his arm around Luna’s withers, idly brushing his fingers through her ethereal mane with his fingers as comfort for both him and her. Eventually, two more fireworks were shot into the air, exploding in a magnificent display of yellow and blue.

Shawn and Luna turned to look over their shoulders, then Luna took the opportunity to speak first. “The gala is about to start proper. I’ll take you back to the castle, although you must make your way inside while I accompany Celestia for the grand entrance, alright?”

“Mmhmm, that’s fine,” Shawn said.

With a flash, the duo found themselves some ways down from the exit to the gardens Shawn originally came through, out of sight of everyone else. “I’ll be approximately ten minutes,” Luna said with a smile. “I’ll come find you shortly.” With the conclusion of the sentence, she was gone.

Shawn looked around to double check everyone was inside, then whipped out the flask Twilight gave him. A quick nip won’t hurt, he slyly thought, unscrewing the cap. However, when Shawn took a sip, he doubled over and spat the liquid out, then tentatively sniffed the contents before grumbling and screwing the cap back on. ‘Damn it, Twilight, how do you manage to confuse whisky and potion?’

Shawn briskly made his way inside to find one of the alcoholic punch bowls and a very large glass to wash that awful taste away.

The same Solar and Lunar guard from earlier at the entrance stood on a dais overlooking the gala hall. Behind them was a large archway with a red velvet curtain obscuring what laid behind. A whisper behind the curtain gave them their queue, and they both brought their trumpets to bear, blowing the tune of announcement to get everyone’s attention.

The Solar guard was first to Speak. “Introducing, Her Highnesses, Princess Celestia…”

“...And Princess Luna,” the thestral finished.

The curtain parted with blue and yellow magic, and out stepped the regal, royal princesses. Shawn had already seen Luna’s attire, and everyone began bowing and gasping at the magnificence and beauty of the pair.

Celestia’s dress was something else entirely. Normally long and flowing, her mane had been pulled up into tactfully positioned buns, staggered by the colours of her hair. Her tiara looked like it was plucked from a tendril of golden flames that attempted to lick the sky, inlaid with rubies. The red satin cape was trimmed with (presumably fake, or her own) white feathers, and a reddish-pink, see-through silk stitched to look like a thestral’s wing was clipped to her chest by a magnificent gold crest. Faded light to dark pink, orange, and yellow material hung under the cape, loosely falling down her rear legs and flank.

“We could not be more delighted that you all managed to take the time to show up to the gala,” Celestia warmly proclaimed to the entirety of gathered ponies.

“Verily!” Luna exclaimed joyfully, lapsing into her archaic vernacular for the occasion. “We beseech all of thee to partake in the many forms of merriment provided! Drink, dance, eat!”

“We thank you all for attending. With that, we implore you to continue with your evening. Luna and myself will be mingling among you for a while, so don’t hesitate to talk to us,” Celestia said. With the conclusion of her sentence, the two sisters departed back through the door they came through to make their way into the gala proper.

Meanwhile, everyone else was getting back into the throes of the gala. There were several groups of ponies idly chatting amongst themselves, sipping champagne and eating hors d'oeuvres like they themselves were the pinnacle of grace, the arrogant twats. Mares and stallions alike were dancing to the soft music on the assigned dance floor forward of the stage the band was on, and there were even stallion and mare couples with mile wide smiles on their faces enjoying one another’s company as well.

A couple minutes later, Celestia and Luna walked in through the main doors, and Luna’s gaze never left Shawn’s. Everyone parted around the two sisters to let them through, bowing respectfully in the process. While Twilight bounded up to and hugged Celestia, Luna continued walking to Shawn unhindered.

“Princess,” Shawn said, bowing slightly for present company.

“Shall we?” Luna said, gesturing to the dance floor with a wave of her hoof.

“I’d be honoured,” he replied, cocking his arm. Luna took it with her wing once more, leading the mare over to the other ponies who were slow dancing to the music, and took their place amongst them.

Yet again, it occured to the human that conventional methods wouldn’t work.

“How would human customs dictate this scenario?” Luna asked with a small giggle.

“Well, the man would generally hold the woman’s waist while she put her hands around his neck as they shuffled about to the tune music while making small talk.”

Luna gave Shawn a quick look up and down, taking note of his height. With a flicker of her horn, she engulfed herself in a white light and shrank herself slightly. Then she propped herself up on her hind legs and supported herself with her forelegs around Shawn’s neck as suggested. Pleasantly surprised by the turn of events, Shawn gave a slight shrug before placing his hands around Luna’s waist as best he could, where they began to shift about in time to the music.

“So,” Shawn began awkwardly as he began stepping to and fro, leading Luna on the dance floor. “How’s your evening been?”

“‘Tis been a fair evening thus far,” Luna replied with a chuckle at Shawn. She leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Five minutes.”

“Pardon?” Shawn asked, furrowing his brow.

“What news hast thou brought with thee from Earth?” Luna said, confusing Shawn even more.

“I, uhm, well, the scientists are still working on stabilising the wormhole to Earth between their work. Until then, it’s just the six of us humans.”

“It would be nary a problem to Us if thou would ask for assistance. We have had experience with portals before.”

“Thanks for the offer, Princess. It’s more about piecing the equipment together like a puzzle and fine tuning it like a radio than ripping a hole open in the fabric of space and time and jumping through willy-nilly.”

“Is thy equipment truly that finicky?”

“For myself, it’s as difficult to comprehend as it would be for, say, Sweetie Belle trying to successfully open a portal of her own by simply giving her a spellbook and telling her to ‘have at it’.”

“Such consequences would likely see the universe explode,” Luna chuckled. “How do thy friends relay messages to and from Earth if their portal is not complete?”

Shawn giggle-snorted in agreement. “All the more reason to keep advanced magic out of Sweetie’s hooves, then. To answer your question, after we touched down and finally got our bearings with where we landed, Simon, the head scientist, sent a missive to headquarters on Earth. In the time the missive takes to arrive, they will hopefully have the portal up and running some time after.”

“Thy technology truly is fascinating,” Luna said in rapt fascination, pulling back to glance around the immediate area. “Come, let’s go outside.”

“But weren’t we already outside earlier?” Shawn asked, even more perplexed than before.

Instead of saying anything in response, Luna withdrew from their dancing and returned to her normal size, hip-checking Shawn in the direction of the door to the gardens. Still none the wiser about what was going on, he decided to play along with the princess’ bizarre shenanigans. Luna led the human down the trestle he’d gone through initially when first going into the gardens. Then, halfway down, Luna stopped and looked up and down the tunnel of flowers before her horn lit up.

Suddenly, Shawn found himself within the castle’s hallways, unsure of where exactly and why.

“Come!” Luna exuberantly exclaimed, taking off running down one of the halls as best as her dress would allow.

“What the hell?! Where are we going?” Shawn broke into a sprint after the princess, chasing after her like a bat out of hell. Rarity didn’t exactly design his suit with athleticism in mind. “What the hell is going on?!” Shawn demanded after rounding yet another corridor. Imagine how fast a horse on Earth can normally run, then come to Equestria and include a magical factor that amplifies their athletic ability, and you get one human out of breath, leaning against a wall next to a door that had raucous noises coming from behind it.

“What…huff are we… huff here for?”

Only smirking, Luna raised a forehoof and kicked open the door, and the noises of drunken antics instantly permeated the entire corridor.

“YOUR PRINCESS HAS ARRIVED!” Luna boldly declared using the Royal Canterlot Voice. There was instant silence from within.

After exactly three seconds, a unanimous cheer rang out. “AAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!! LU-NA, LU-NA, LU-NA!”

Shawn poked his head around the corner, and was immediately greeted with at least a dozen stallions, and more were poking their heads around corners and from doorways. Various liquor bottles in various stages of emptiness were on the table surrounding a barrel of mead with valve that had long since begun the process of being drained. After a moment of staring at what the fuck was going on and why Luna brought him here, one of the ponies laid eyes on him.

“Ey look, it’s the human thingey!” A brief pause ensued once more.

“WOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!” The unanimous cheer was deafening, moreso than Luna’s greeting.

“Come to join in on the party ‘ave ya?” one of the stallions slurred.

“Luna dragged me here, FYI!” Shawn mock grumbled.

“Come in and enjoy the real party,” another added as his magic dragged Shawn inside, “not that stuck-up prissy stuff Celestia always goes to!”

Shawn suddenly found his arm surrounded by a magical aura that hastily began pulling him inside the room. “H-hey, what are you–”

“Shut yer trap and have a drink!” one of the stallion smirked good-naturedly, thrusting a tankard into Shawn’s chest and spilling some on his suit.

‘Rarity won’t be happy about this…’ Shawn mused, then turned to Luna. “What did you bring me here for?” He nervously fumbled the tankard, looking at the mare somewhere between anger and bewilderment.

Luna, however, rolled her eyes and drained her own tankard like it was water. “Last year when I was at the gala with Celestia, all the frivolity and formality was hammering at my skull like a dull headache. I could not stand the boredom and left early, intent on going to the library. As I passed by the Royal Guard’s common room, heard the commotion, and I asked to join in on the merriment!”

“And they actually let you!?”

“But of course!” Luna exclaimed. “They always wanted to, quote unquote; ‘See how hard a princess could party!’”

Shawn looked Luna up and down. “You can’t party with this crowd if you’re still wearing your dress.”.

Luna made if poof into thin air. “No I’m not...” She innocently cantered further into the room.

“But you... And I just…” Shawn’s eye was twitching, wandering what he should make of the situation. After several pregnant moments of the guards staring at him expectantly, he threw caution to the wind. “Eh fuck it.” Considering the magical land of Equestria, being dragged along to a party wasn’t on top of the list of weird things Shawn had experienced thus far, so he threw his head and the tankard back, taking a long guzzle as the welcome roar of approval shook the foundations of the room. Not wanting to completely sully Rarity’s suit, Shawn removed the blazer and tie, hanging them with the rest of the guard’s paraphernalia on the coat rack inside the door.

“I hope you can hold your liquor,” Luna said, waggling her eyebrows at the human. “These stallions enjoy a good drinking contest.”

Shawn groaned, wondering what he just got himself into.

Some time later...

“Chug chug chug chug!” The royal guards’ idea of a ‘party’ was to completely and utterly butcher the definition to the tune of a frat-style college party. A couple of the stallions had the not-so-bright idea, in Shawn’s opinion, of attaching a length of garden hose to the tap on the barrel. Several of them had already seen how long they could guzzle the quickly draining mead before passing the hose onto the next.

Currently, Luna was having a turn.

Though it took some convincing to loosen up and enjoy the party, Shawn reluctantly had a go before the princess, though he didn’t last nearly as long as everyone else, but the guards were glad to see him joining in on the fun. Luna, however, had outlasted every other stallion who’d had a turn thanks to her alicorn biology being able to handle more than the average pony by an unhealthy mile. Shawn pondered the ramifications of Luna doing something arguably uncivilised for a princess, but who was he to say what Luna could or couldn’t do in her free time? Regardless, Shawn knew Luna was in good company with the same ones who swore no harm would come to either of the two princesses.

Luna’s face contorted as she almost struggled to consume each mouthful of mead as gravity drained it from the barrel, and her cheeks had begun to puff with the visible exertion. After what felt like an eternity, she finally sat up and swallowed the rest of the liquor, capping the hose with her magic.

“Huzzah! The vision has been doubled!”

“AAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!! LU-NA, LU-NA, LU-NA!”

As the night went on and the barrel’s contents gradually drained, it was topped up with a few of the bottles of grain alcohol and what tasted like ginger ale to Shawn. Everything began to taste the same to him beyond a certain point, but what he really needed was some food. Even then, he knew better than to stumble into the gala hall and begin wolfing down hors d'oeuvres like they were going out of fashion in his inebriated state.

Luna slumped onto a sofa amidst the mass of partying stallions, next to Shawn holding a half empty tankard. He’d lost track of how many drinks the pair had had, Luna moreso, and he was certainly feeling it. Luna didn’t look even the slightest bit tipsy.

“How can you handle all that drink?” Shawn already knew the answer, but his drunken mouth asked it anyway.

Luna let out a rather long giggle-snort before replying. “Quite the party, isn’t it?”

“You can say that again,” Shawn replied with a playful nudge to Luna’s side, smirking. When it came to situations like this, Luna was every bit the pony as an earth pony farmer ploughing the fields, though for different reasons. The difference was in the eye of the beholder, who revered Luna’s and Celestia’s title and position leagues above what they should. It was like a farmer being treated as a deity because he could grow food whereas others couldn’t. Underneath the crown and all the bureaucracy, the princesses enjoyed a good time just as much as the next pony.

Amongst the rollicking crowd, there was even a pair of stallions having a heavy snog in a corner of the common room, not so subtly trying to hide the act behind a stetson. Shawn couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight good naturedly. “Think they’ll remember it tomorrow?” he said to Luna.

“Even if they don’t, they’ll be dreaming about it for weeks. I can make sure of that,” Luna returned with a wink and a nudge. “That would certainly make for an awkward work day.”

Luna was silent for a moment, looking over the crowd briefly. “I just... don’t understand why ponies think it’s wrong for myself or Celestia to enjoy ourselves like this,” she said sourly.

Shawn looked down at the contents of his tankard, swirling it around the vessel as he contemplated the question. He often thought that alcohol brought his inner philosopher to the surface. “Just think about where we are and what we’re doing, Luna. Imagine if you thought someone you care about was putting themselves in jeopardy. Whenever Twilight goes on one of her crazy journeys, I get a little worried because I don’t know what’s going to happen or if she’s going to return.” His hands tightened around the tankard.

Luna sighed, pondering the statement. “I... think I understand what you mean, Shawn. Our ponies do not wish harm to come to us. They’d much rather see myself at a boring gala where they think little can go wrong than drinking the night away with drunk, battle-hardened stallions.”

Shawn guffawed at that last bit, then nudged Luna. “Makes me wish I could tie Twilight to the bed so I know she won’t be getting into harm’s way!”

“Oh my,” Luna coyly exclaimed like a high-school filly with a hoof over her mouth. “You sly dog...” she sniggered, flamboyantly batting the human with a wing over his back.

Shawn looked Luna up and down. “Maybe I should, shall we say… Keep you safe...”

Luna’s breath hitched, then a roguish grin spread over her face as she leaned slightly closer to Shawn. “Oh please, our standards are above the likes of you.”

Shawn leaned closer, eyes narrowing in return. “As a fellow princess, Twilight would beg to differ.”

“You might be able to keep up with Twilight, but not with me,” Luna quipped, leaning even closer to the human so their noses barely touched.

“Is that a challenge?” Shawn smirked.

“A statement of fact,” Luna returned with an equally wide grin.

Shawn grinned deviously and playfully butted heads with Luna, quite literally. “I bet your standards are so high you haven’t been laid since you were born!”

“OOOOHHHHHHH!”

The two had been paying too much attention to one another in their banter that they failed to realise the room had gone completely silent. It wasn’t until the unison of voices at Shawn’s jab toward Luna did he notice, and both heads swivelled to notice that every single stallion in the room was looking at them expectantly.

“What!?” the princess and human said at the same time.

“Just buck already!” one of the ponies screamed in expectant frustration.

“Puh-lease!” Luna exclaimed to the room, lightly pushing Shawn away. “We would not bed him for all the money in Equestria!”

“Do it for free!” someone shouted.

Very slowly, Shawn licked his lips and looked back to Luna. “Can’t really argue with that, now can you?”

The funny thing is, Shawn knew Luna was acting that way because it was in their best interests that news of him bedding Twilight, and potentially Luna, not reach the ears of his fellow humans. Or ponies. Gossip is the world’s most destructive force.

“We most certainly can argue with that,” Luna proclaimed.

“We’d rather see you two bump uglies than argue!” a stallion hollered.

“Then you can pay for a private show!” Shawn countered.

Meanwhile, Luna made an elaborate show of rolling her eyes. “To break up this tension and divert the conversation, how about a few more games? Anyone that bests me shall earn the privilege of accompanying me to my chambers for the evening.”

Despite Luna’s obviously one-sided challenge, everyone in the room gave the prospect serious thought, even if they knew they were going to lose. You miss all the shots you never take, after all.

“Karaoke, then?” Shawn offered with a shrug.

And so the games began.

Karaoke, hoof wrestling, various drinking game, no matter what is was, Luna won. All chalked down to one factor: age. Luna had eighteen-hundred years of experience and knowledge to formulate an outcome or swing things in her favour, not to mention being able to handle her liquor, so it was like an ameteur trying to outmaneuver a master.

As the games continued and the night grew on, a lot of the guards had either left for their beds, or passed out on various surfaces or pieces of furniture the common room had to offer.

Eventually, one more game was suggested as the night became more quieter. One of Luna’s guards, a unicorn pyromancer, challenged the alicorn to a drinking contest. Take turns drinking a shot of the castle’s strongest liquor, and the last one standing would win.

Currently, there were countless shot glasses on each side of the table with the bottle in the middle.

The stallion’s aura flickered from loss of motor control as he picked up the bottle, shakily pouring another shot. While Shawn watched on, he could clearly see that Luna was swaying side to side ever so slightly.

The unicorn slammed home his drink, then upturned the glass on the table with a grin at Luna.

Luna poured her drink, then drank it daintily, dabbing her mouth with a napkin for show.

As her opponent went to pour another drink, fell forward and was out cold before he hit the table.

“Huzzah! We are the victor once again!” Luna exclaimed.

Taking a drink of water, Shawn playfully rolled his eyes at Luna’s antics before approaching her. “Think it’s time we knock off? What is the time anyway?”

“A quarter after three in the morning,” Luna said nonchalantly. Being the Princess of the Night, she innately knew what time it was.

“I think it’s time that drunk me make arrangements that hangover me will appreciate in the morning,” Shawn mused. “Shall we?”

“Very well,” Luna said. “Though, if I were to sleep at this hour, I would likely not wake up in time to lower the moon.” Standing up, Luna swayed slightly from the liquor. The guards ponies were sleeping so heavily that those Luna bumped into weren’t even roused.

“One last challenge?” Luna asked.

“What might that be?” Shawn asked hesitantly. Stepping out into the chilly corridors, he put his blazer back on before he closed the door.

“Race me to my room?”

With a raised eyebrow, Shawn looked Luna up and down. One part of Shawn figured that he might have a chance given Luna’s state, but another part of him told him not to underestimate the mare. In the end, the drunk part of his logic won the internalised debate, and he gave a cocky smile.

“I guess that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“One two three go!” And just like that, Luna was off like a rocket, leaving a rather bemused Shawn standing in her wake.

“What the hell?!” he yelled after her, then immediately gave chase. Through all the twists and turns of the corridor, Shawn barely managed to keep up thanks to Luna’s cheating head start. It didn’t help that his share of the exhaustive partying was taking its toll.

As Shawn rounded the Nth corner of another corridor, he saw Luna whizz past a rather confused Celestia and around another corner. He thudded to a stop at the dress-less mare, leaning on a wall to catch his breath as Celestia looked him up and down between confusion and concern.

“Is… everything alright, Shawn? Although, I should be asking where you and Luna have been all evening.”

“Long, huff, story! Say, can you do me a small favour and teleport me to outside Luna’s room?”

Celestia playfully snickered. “Can’t find your way without having to chase after her? That I can do. Although, promise you’ll tell me how your evening went tomorrow?”

“Yeah yeah sure, just hurry up please!” And just like that, Shawn found himself standing outside a door that had two thestral guards outside it, both of whom were rather startled to see the resident human randomly show up.

Off in the distance, Shawn began to hear the tell-tale sign of galloping hooves, no doubt Luna just catching up with him.

Her eyes widened in abject surprise, and she skidded to a halt at seeing the human outside her room, doubling over to catch his breath as he panted exhaustingly.

“Damn, Luna, you sure know how to give someone a run for their money!” he said amidst trying to calm his thumping heart.

Luna’s head was looking to him, and back down the corridor she came multiple times. “But you… And I… How did you… You actually won?!”

“I took a shortcut,” Shawn heaved breathlessly. “Hoo! Shall we?”

Shooting Shawn a skeptical look, Luna opened the bedroom door and trotted inside, followed up by Shawn.

“‘Tis been quite the evening, has it not?” Luna asked as she headed into her ensuite. As Shawn waited a few moments, Luna returned then headed into her walk-in closet, pulling partitioning over the entrance so she could still talk to Shawn.

“Damn straight; I never thought I’d see a princess hold her liquor against several seasoned guards,” Shawn laughed. “How’re you holding up anyway?”

“Alicorn healing factor dictates that liquor metabolizes faster than the average pony. “I can handle several times what anypony else can.”

“I unno, that unicorn seemed to give you a run for your money,” Shawn said pointedly.

“Oh please,” Luna exclaimed as she rummaged around the closet. “We were only acting the part to instill false confidence in him.”

“You had me fooled,” Shawn snickered. “What’re you doing in there anyway?”

“Oh, just preparing…” Luna mysteriously replied.

“Preparing for what, exactly,” Shawn queried.

“Remember the challenge I issued earlier in the night? You bested me when you arrived at my door before I,” Luna clarified as she continued to rifle around the closet, much to Shawn’s confusion..

“Wait, what? I didn’t realise that was a thing.” After exactly three seconds, the full realisation dawned on the human. “Wait, what!? I didn’t know that wager was still in effect!”

“I did not say that it had run its course; you only assumed so after we left for the night.”

“Woah woah woah, does that mean you and I–?”

“Yes,” Luna interjected. Her magic drew the partitioning aside, and Shawn’s jaw hit the floor like a sack of bricks.

“Woah…”

Luna had outfitted herself with what looked to be some kind of faux-leather harness. Bands around her upper hind and forelegs were held in position with straps over her haunches and shoulders, held in place by stainless steel O-rings. The front and back of the harness were held together by a strap of leather that ran down the confines of her spine, held flush against her back by a thicker band of the fake leather that wrapped around her barrel. She was even wearing a bridle around her muzzle, complete with reigns that were clipped to rings at her side, minus the bit. In Luna’s magic, she held a simple strap with a buckle, alongside a riding crop.

“Well, what do you think?” Luna asked tentatively, walking closer to the dumbfounded human.

“I… I don’t even…”

As Luna crept closer, she tentatively leant forward and placed the strap and buckle, and riding crop at Shawn’s feet, taking a couple steps back as she sat on her haunches and looked at him expectantly.

Shawn, between confusion and arousal at the sight before him, said; “What is all this? And why do you have it?”

“The answer to those questions should be quite obvious,” Luna grinned. “Go on, pick it up,” she said, nudging the buckle and piece of leather closer to the human.

Shawn bent down and picked up the thing, turning it over in his hands. “What is it?”

“A simple collar. Since you won our little race, I am yours for the remainder of the night.”

For several long, silent moments, Shawn failed to muster a coherent sentence from the prospect before him. Eventually, he let out a despondent sigh as his shoulders sagged.

“I… I don’t know what to say, Luna. This is amazing, it really is, but…”

“You feel as though it would infringe upon the relationship you and Twilight have, no?”

Shawn only nodded as his fingers trailed over the collar.

“Do you still have the flask Twilight gave you?”

That made Shawn perk up. “How did you know about that?” he half demanded.

Luna chuckled behind a hoof. “Fear not, my friend. I spoke with Twilight in her dream. That is why she gave you the flask of potion.”

“But Twilight and I only use that when we—” Shawn immediately bit his tongue to force his mouth shut.

“When you two have sex, yes?” Luna said knowingly. “Twilight explained the nature of human monogamy, thus we obtained her permission before I would invite you into my bed.”

“Let me get this straight: Twilight giving me the flask was her way of saying that I could, well, y’know.”

“Very much so, Shawn,” Luna said hopefully.

Shawn slumped into the couch with the weight of what was being said, his mind struggling to make a decision. Although he and Twilight successfully maintained a secret relationship that they were both happy with, he didn’t know how much of a good idea it would be to venture out beyond that for fear of further shenanigans making rounds as rumours around the palace. If word found its way to HQ, he’d certainly be in hot water with the bosses.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’ve gone through, it’s just that something like this needs the OK from both parties, in this case me too. Look, Luna, I care a lot about Twilight, and even though she’s effectively given me a guilt-free pass, I just…”

“Your love for Twilight holds you back from bedding me?” Luna quietly said, looking downcast.

Shawn leaned back into the sofa and let out a long breath of indecision.

“It’s OK, I understand,” Luna eventually said.

Shawn got up off the couch, then made his way over to Luna with the collar still in hand. He wrapped his arms around the mare’s neck to give her an apologetic hug. “I’m sorry, Luna. You do look damn sexy.”

Click.

Luna’s breath suddenly hitched, and her eyes went wide at the feeling of the collar around her neck.

Shawn pulled back with a devious look across his face. “I didn’t directly say no, my little princess.” He booped her on the muzzle. “For the rest of the night, you’re mine.”