“Okay now, Hummingway, from the top. One, two, three...”
The tiniest of the birds started whistling sweet notes, a circular song that flowed as easily as sugar-water. Fluttershy lost herself in the music, bobbing her head with each change in pitch, moving her hoof as if to try and conduct it. It whispered through her mane, eddied up inside her ears, and made her pinfeathers stand on end. But as quickly as it had started, it had finished, and the pegasus opened her eyes to the sight of the little hummingbird taking a drink from the feeder. The other birds began ‘congratulating’ Hummingway by various chirps.
“Oh, that was wonderful. Very nice. Now, Quintel, would you please step forward?” The pegasus beckoned a blue jay, but for some reason, he became startled and flew off. “Um, Quintel... Excuse me? ...Was it something I said?” In an abrupt flurry of feathers, the rest of the choir scattered out of the tree, leaving Fluttershy a bit confused. “Oh...”
However, this confusion soon turned to apprehension, as she became aware of a presence behind her. Turning her head in the direction of the Everfree forest near her house, she was instantly frozen.
A huge, no, an enormous pony was stumbling out of the darkness, blearily heading straight towards her. He was at least twice, if not three or four times as tall as she was, and carried his deep brown, scruffy coat like he was uncomfortable being alive. His heavy hoof-falls sunk into the soft soil like it was snow. Fluttershy scrambled out of his way, now seeing that he had no interest in her, but rather in the stream beside the cottage. As he bent down to take a long drink (presumably one well-deserved and highly sought), she saw that his flank was completely bare. She found this very odd. Assuming good faith, she crept closer to the strange earth pony.
At this range, she realized just how much bigger he was. Standing right next to him, she only came up to his back ankle, which was very gaunt and bony, and didn't look at all capable of supporting his weight. His coat was mussed up, lined with darker raised streaks where he had been brushed the wrong direction (Fluttershy knew this from taking care of a stray cat). Although he was very muscular, he seemed underfed, which was horrifying to the pegasus - how could anypony want for food in these plentiful times, even somepony as big as this? His dark shaggy tail whisked about absently as he drank. Fluttershy retreated so she wouldn't get hit with it.
“Um... hello? Excuse me? Mister... oh, what’s your name?” From a distance, she searched his massive body for a clue to his identity, circling him a few times and examining him for any sort of marker. He didn’t seem to have a cutie mark at all! The only thing she even thought could mean anything was a black, curly design inside his ear. “Um, mister? Could you... are you listening? ...Mister?” He didn’t appear to hear her, so she stepped closer towards him. A snort bubbled through the water and he lifted his head, staring directly at Fluttershy with one of his strangely-positioned and small eyes for a brief moment, before turning back to the drink. But that was all the time she needed to see the mark in his ear. It was a cursive number 22.
"Well that's an odd place for a cutie mark," Fluttershy mused.
She studied the giant pony for another silent minute. A second snort startled her, and he suddenly noticed the pegasus as if for the first time. She took this as a good sign and began talking. “Oh, um, hello. My name is Fluttershy... what’s your name?” The giant stood his ground, cocking his head to one side, like he didn’t quite understand. “Um... your name? What do ponies call you? Er...” She decided to take a leap of faith. “Uh, twenty-two? Is that it?”
At this, she saw a glint of recognition in his eyes; something clicked. “22... That’s your name?” He stepped forward, sniffing her face like he wasn’t sure what to make of her. His hot breath smelled awful, as if the only thing he ever ate was wet hay. She saw that his teeth were in horrible shape, gnarled and yellow. He also had a large overbite, which reminded Fluttershy of her mother’s advice about not wearing a bit too often. His body language suggested curiosity to her, but only through the pains of intense exhaustion.
“Oh, my, that’s... you’re a friendly guy, aren’t you, 22? Yes... you’re tired, and confused, but you want to know more...” She patted him on the snout as one would a small foal, leaving sweat all over her hoof, but she tried to ignore that. Gradually, with that gentle manner of hers, she coaxed him over the bridge into her house, barely fitting him through the front door. Now, in the center of the tiny room, he looked even more impressive, his poll rubbing against the ceiling. For comfort, it appeared, he knelt down, and nudged the mare with his nose, pushing her to and fro, again as a small foal would. A loud rumble came from his stomach, but he said nothing.
“Um, oh, you’re hungry... what does a big guy like you eat...? Um... Big Macintosh eats apples, and he’s the biggest pony around...” She inched herself towards the kitchen, and he watched her go. A few seconds later and she returned with a basket of apples and assorted vegetables. Instantly he perked up, and before she had even let go of it, he took the basket in his mouth and overturned it, sampled everything, then decided to eat a head of lettuce. It was gone in no time.
“My! 22, you shouldn’t eat so fast, you’ll get a bellyache... That reminds me. Angel? Oh Angel?” There was a loud thump from upstairs, and a white rabbit rushed down, standing to attention in front of her. “Angel, could you take a message to Twilight Sparkle?” She picked up a pencil and paper and wrote a note of explanation. Angel took the note and ran out the door, warily sneaking past the horse who was now shifting a carrot from side to side in his mouth. He appeared to be much more alert now. Fluttershy watched him graze like a pauper before a feast.
“What’s this about, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash lazily hovered alongside the unicorn, every so often doing a spin to keep aloft as the group walked the road to the cottage.
“Fluttershy’s note said that there’s a giant in her house and to come quickly. Not much else.” Twilight turned to Pinkie Pie, who as usual was inhaling deeply before a run of chatter.
“A giant what? A giant monkey? A giant chicken? A giant automaton made of bronze that hurls flaming rocks at passing ships? What could it be? I’m so excited! I hope when Fluttershy says giant she really means giant, because the last time I heard something described as giant I was severely disappointed after the fact. Well I should have expected it but I suppose I was originally a teeny weeny bit too enthusiastic on the matt—” she was met by an orange hoof to the mouth but continued murmuring. Applejack was on the other end of the hoof.
“By golly, whatever this giant is, if it’s done harm ta Fluttershy, ain’t nopony gonna be able t’ stop me from deliverin’ Pony Justice.” Applejack continued walking on three legs, but managed to motion to Rarity. The unicorn’s eyes glittered.
“This will be a perfect opportunity to try out my new plus-size line of sportcoats and jackets! I bet he’s handsome! He’ll look so dashing in an XXL blazer!” She drifted into a daydream, also drifting into Twilight. “Oops, excuse me darling.”
“No problem. Whoever and whatever this giant is, I’m sure Fluttershy only requires us to be there while she figures it all out on her own. Look, we’re here!” Twilight knocked upon the cottage door, and Angel opened it, glaring at them with suspicion. They entered.
There was a gigantic brown pony in the center of the room, chewing on a stalk of celery.
Everypony gasped. Except the giant, of course.
The first thing Twilight noticed was that he was indeed giant as her friend as said. Even laying down, he was taller than her, and thrice as long in the body. His head looked like it had gone through a pasta machine, it was so long and thin. His rough mane was nearly black but caught auburn in the light, and his tail was untamed and brushy, as if he had never been bathed. He had no cutie mark, which confused the unicorn, as he was clearly full-grown.
“Whoa! He’s huge!” Rainbow Dash zoomed over to the horse, peering at him upside-down. He took almost no notice of the pegasus as he munched on an apple, only glancing at her momentarily, regarding her as an insect to be ignored or swatted. “Hey, big guy. Who - no, what are you?”
“Omigosh omigosh omigosh Fluttershy was right! He’s ginormous! He’s probably taller than Princess Celestia! Fluttershy, make him stand up!” Pinkie bounced back and forth around the horse, staring at him from all different angles. “Fluttershy! Where are you? We’re here!”
Fluttershy came in from the back door, carrying a bundle of rivergrass, and startled slightly when she realized her friends were here already. “Oh, um, hi. This is... 22. He’s from... the Everfree, I think?” Pinkie bounded over to her lickety-split, a barrage of question escaping her lips.
“22, huh? That’s a funny name! Why is his name 22? How did he get so huge? Is he smart? Is he cool? Does he know any good jokes? Ooooooh!!” Pinkie pounced in front of 22, staring him down coolly.
“...Hey buddy... why the long face?” Then she cracked up. “GET IT? Because your face is so long!” She bounced over to her white unicorn friend, grinning madly. “Hey Rarity, I don’t think your blazers will fit him, unless you have an XXX-XXX-XXL size! I bet I could fit inside him! Can he buck apples? Can he bake? Does he brush his teeth?” At this she pried the giant’s mouth open, and immediately revolted. “Eeuuugh! His breath is disgusting! Look at his teeth, they’re all dirty! I bet he’s never even been to the dentist, but that’s okay because dentists are meanies, always telling me that candy is bad for me, so who needs them anyways?”
“Pinkie, that’s enough. Fluttershy, please tell us what happened.” Twilight listened as the pegasus explained the situation, dividing her attention between her friend and the giant. “...And you learned all this from observation? I’m impressed.”
“Um, yes, well, I had to, since he doesn’t seem to be able to talk, or he just isn’t talkative... But 22 is still sort of expressive, and he wants to make friends, I think... mostly he seems just as confused as we are.”
Applejack, meanwhile, was admiring 22’s... considerable musculature. “Boy, if’n this guy was on mah farm, why, we’d increase production tenfold! He could prob’ly buck a tree right outta the ground! Fluttershy, he hain’t done anythin’ ta hurt ya? Cuz he sure looks strong!” She licked her lips.
“No, he’s really easy-going... he’s nice. But I don’t think he’s ever seen a pony like us before...” Fluttershy picked up the rivergrass again and brought it to the giant, who began to grind it between his back molars. “Um, Twilight, aside from the 22 marking in his ear, he doesn’t have a cutie mark. I have no idea what his special talent is.”
“Hm. Well, I’ll try a spell I know. It may allow me to see what he's thinking.” The purple unicorn turned to face 22, her horn softly glowing. Slowly she touched it against his forehead, and was awash with foreign sights and sounds, a jumble of memory. She saw strange places and felt primal emotions. There were muddy meadows in the thaw of winter, smoggy skies with strange stars, creatures that resembled nothing in Equestria, and a few other giants like the one she was in contact with now. Everything seemed blurry and faded by time - nothing was particularly clear. She felt 22 watch the hazy memories with her, his fairly small eyes darting back and forth behind their lids. There were moments where she thought she heard voices, but they were faint, fleeting and unintelligible.
Beneath it all, however, there were the root wants and needs of the giant. They encircled her like moths to a flame. Twilight read them aloud. “Hmm... well, it seems that all he really wants out of life is to eat... sleep... and... ew! Gross!” She broke off the spell, pulling her horn back, her head spinning in a rush of reality. “Uuuuh, I don't think he has a special talent. He doesn’t seem to know much. Wherever he was before wasn’t like here, but he’s content with just surviving. In fact, I’d venture a guess that he’s not even sapient.” Everypony gasped. 22 just continued munching.
Rarity picked up her jaw off the floor and blinked a few times. “But how could this amazing stallion not even be... what does sapient mean, again?”
“Sapience is the ability to think abstractly about the world and to search for meaning instead of purpose. I don’t think he requires anything more than the bare necessities - food, water, and shelter.”
“But he’s so huge!” Dash said, “His brain’s gotta be bigger than any of our heads!”
“Yes, but if you’ll recall, the manticore was much larger than us and yet merely a violent beast acting on instinct.” Twilight felt somepony tap her on the shoulder. “Yes, Pinkie?”
“But if 22’s not sapient, where did he come from? What if he’s from a distant mixed-up land where everything is reversed and ponies are subservient to some other creature that we here have dominion over?! Who put that mark in his ear? Can we take him to the library? Ooh! Maybe he knows stomp language!” Pinkie bounced up to 22 and began stomping her hooves rhythmically, and at the same time rapidly shouting off a stream of letters. “D-O-Y-O-U-L-I-K-E-T-O-P-A-R-T-Y”
Applejack still couldn’t believe her ears. “So... he can’t think like we do? He doesn’t have thoughts ‘n’ dreams like we do? It ain’t natural for a... a pony!”
“I don’t even think he’s a pony. 22 is some lower, albeit larger form of beast, like your cows, Applejack. If he were a pony, I’d classify him as severely mentally disabled. In fact—” Twilight was cut off by the sight of the horse standing up, slowly and deliberately, rising to his full height. “Err... ...tall...” She trailed off, shrouded in the shadow of the colossus.
Everypony watched now as 22 now turned to Pinkie Pie and calmly stamped his front left hoof three times. Pinkie responded by stomping hers in quick succession. This conversation went on for over a minute, each of Pinkie’s sequences followed by a few clip-clops from the giant. It was almost like tap-dancing. Pinkie finished with a bow and bounced over to Twilight.
“He’s never even been to a party! Can you believe it?! Applejack, he’s good at pulling things, and Rarity, his favorite color is tangerine. And he’s only 8 years old! He's just a colt! Imagine how big he’ll be when he’s all grown up! Maybe as tall as a dragon!”
“Pinkie, you can communicate with him?”
The pink pony nodded. “Yepperoni! I taught him some classic Equestrian Stomp Language, but just the basics so far. Fluttershy, yes, as far as he knows his name is 22. Now let’s go take him into town!” Twilight was practically bowled over as Pinkie rushed past her to the door, an eager look pasted across her face. “Come on, everypony! TO THE LIBRARATORY!” The group looked to the purple unicorn for confirmation.
“She has the right idea. Let’s take him to the library. Maybe there’s something in my books about giant ponies. Er... giant whatevers-he-is.”
It was several minutes later, and the group had managed to get 22 back outside onto the main road, although it had taken the rest of Fluttershy’s food to lead him. He was now walking down the dirt path at his own cautious pace, looking about nervously like a lost foal. Something seemed to be unnerving him, and Pinkie’s constant stomping, which garnered little response from the giant and only served to exasperate Twilight, didn't help. Applejack and Rarity were in the back of the group arguing about who would get to ‘use’ the giant first, and Rainbow Dash was up ahead, scouting for ponies who might panic. Fluttershy herself was walking alongside the giant on his right, trying to keep him calm. He kept turning one eye up to the trees at the side of the road, grumbling a bit.
“It’s all alright, 22. There’s nothing to be scared of. We’re just trying to find out where you came from. We'll be at the library soon.” She knew that it was her tone of voice which was calming him down, rather than the meaning of her words.
As of Twilight’s spell, Fluttershy wasn’t sure whether he even understood what she was saying, so she opted to treat him like any other confused animal, as much as it contradicted her impressions of 22. She turned to her right and saw Twilight glancing back at her. “Um, Twilight? May I ask you a question?”
“Sure, Fluttershy. What do you want to know?”
“Um, well, you said you think that 22 isn’t, uh, sapient. ...How sure are you?”
Twilight thought for a moment. “Pretty sure. When I was using the spell on him, I didn’t hear any of the usual thoughts that a thinking being would think about it. Thoughts like ‘What are you doing?’," she imitated a deep dopey voice, "which would show he understood that other ponies have minds and willful intent."
She thought for another moment. "He had many strange memories, but most of them were jumbled up, and he doesn’t appear able to explain them. I'm certain he can't talk - his vocal cords are the wrong shape - although somepony seemed to be talking in his memories."
She looked over at the giant, who seemed to be staring blatantly at her horn. She blushed and turned back to Fluttershy. "Also, his thoughts weren’t in words. They were more like pictures, like what would appear when the spell is done on animals or newborn foals. From what I saw of his tactics of survival, he would be fine living with just food, water and shelter. Although, by what I’d seen of his home, I’d call him something of a ladies’ colt.”
“Oh. Oh my!” Fluttershy giggled at the thought. “So... had you ever performed this spell before?”
“Actually, I hadn’t, but the spellbook was very helpful about what to expect from it.”
“Oh...” Fluttershy went back to staring at the ground.
“Fluttershy, it’s not impossible I’m wrong about 22. It’s just a bit unlikely. Maybe he really is just a young colt - that would certainly explain everything except for his size. If it makes you feel better, you can continue treating him like any other pony.”
Fluttershy didn’t answer, instead hiding her face behind her mane, so the unicorn turned her attention back to the town coming into view.
Rainbow Dash zoomed back towards the group. "Uh, girls? Incoming ponies at 12 o'clock!"
"How many?"
"Three - Daisy, Lily, and Rose. Oh boy, you know they're going to panic if they see 22! They'll set the whole town into a frenzy!"
Twilight played this out in her mind. "Let them panic, Dash."
Dash raced down to the unicorn. "Are you insane? There'll be riots in the streets! Foals trampled underhoof! Earthquakes, volcanoes! At best, everypony will hide inside and we’ll be ostracized for the rest of our lives! I can’t live with ostracization! You know how I need attention!"
"Hear me out," Twilight grinned. "If everypony's hiding inside, it will be easier to get him to the library unimpeded. So let the Flower Trio see 22."
Dash sighed. "Okay, Twi. But when 22 gets spooked like the big dumb animal he is and hurts somepony, don't blame me!" She flew off to lure in the three mares, Fluttershy glaring daggers at her. She turned to the giant.
"It's okay, 22," the yellow pegasus cooed at her charge, "you're not dumb at all. You're strong, and smart, and—"
"Ahem."
Fluttershy blinked, then smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Twilight."
Dash came back into view, the three flower mares following nervously. "Brace for impact!" she yelled as she skidded to a stop on the side of the road. The flower trio stopped in their tracks the instant they saw 22.
Then they ran. Towards him.
"Oh! Uh, hello, mister! My, you're big!" Daisy braved the waters as the giant sniffed her face in a sort of greeting.
"What's your name?" Rose said in adulation. "Oh, it must be something bold and daring, like Maximus or Imperion! It goes with that rugged physique and those soulful eyes!"
"...Hi?" squeaked Lily, the most apprehensive of the three. "D-do you believe in... love at first sight, or should— oh, nevermind." She shrunk back.
Twilight gawped at their display. She had not been expecting this. "Girls, what are you doing?! Isn't he scary and intimidating? Don’t you find him hideously alien and unnatural? Why aren't you screaming and running away?!"
Rose looked over at her, unamused. "He's hot and we're single," she said curtly. "Come on, you two, let's take him into town and show everypony our new coltfriend!" The other mares stopped fawning over him, snatched Applejack's lasso out of her bags, roped him around the neck, and dragged him down the road squealing in glee. For 22’s long legs it was nothing more than a brisk trot, and he certainly didn’t complain.
Applejack sputtered. "Th- bu- wh- they took mah rope!" was all she managed to say before Rarity interrupted her.
"They took my model!" the unicorn frothed, and galloped after the three desperate mares. Applejack followed behind her. Twilight reached out a hoof to stop them, but it was too late.
“Oh dear oh dear oh dear...” Fluttershy muttered, taking off and flying after 22’s entourage. In a spur-of-the-moment yet seemingly calculated maneuver, Pinkie Pie jumped onto Rainbow Dash’s back and they flew off with everypony else at lickety-speed, leaving the purple unicorn in the dust.
“...This is bad.” Sighing, she broke into a gallop towards Ponyville to hopefully save 22 from hordes of squealing mares.
