Noise Pollution

by Sir Cyrus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 3700

Short story about Vinyl Scratch getting a citation for "Noise Pollution"

Vinyl Scratch, stage name "DJ Pon-3", gets a citation notice from the Canterlot royal guard for the excessive noise she makes during her performances. However, instead of a punishment, the form only says "See Me", a note from Princess Celestia herself. Nervously, she does as asked, wondering why she's being summoned directly.

First story submitted to FIMFiction, to see how well I can write on my own without help. Feedback, both good and bad, are greatly appreciated.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-14 20:44:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Octavia awoke with a contented sigh. Between rehearsals for the Grand Galloping Gala, and her roomate's loud music, it's rare that the earth pony ever got a good night's sleep, let alone a chance to sleep in.

Ahh, the Gala.. Octavia thought. She snuggled back under her bedcovers, knowing her cello was already in Canterlot, and her dress hanging in her wardrobe. Nothing to do but wait until later in the evening. Today is going to be a good day, I think.

Octavia then felt her bed start to shake, a muffled series of booms heard on the other side of the wall. Well, so much for a quiet, relaxing morning.. Octavia rolled out of bed, and knocked on her roomate's bedroom door.

No reply, as expected. It was definitely her music, though, noticing Vinyl's "BEWARE OF DJ" sign hanging on her door, buzzing from the bass emanating from within. The earth pony opened the door, finding the DJ in question seated before a mess of electronics, headbanging to the music blaring from her speakers. Octavia shook her head. I'd appreciate her taking my advice to use headphones so the neighbors stop complaining, but she'll ruin her hearing if she keeps listening at that volume..

"Vinyl!" she called.

Again, the unicorn didn't hear her. She started singing the lyrics of her song, lost in the music. Octavia, surprisingly, recognized the song: a rather old pop song called "Mares Just Wanna Have Fun". With a chuckle, Octavia grabbed a soda can resting on the unicorn's nightstand, and chucked it at her head. She quickly stopped her singing, lowering the headphones and turning towards her assaliant.

"Well gee, good morning to you too, Octy.."

"Vinyl, why are you playing music so loud this early in the morning?"

"Hey, my new records came in. I just wanted to break 'em in, is all." Vinyl was laying on the floor, looking up at her roomate. Her rear hooves were on her turntable, messing with a few sliders and knobs, while the other scratched the new record, making the shrill noise of a record scratch that the DJ seemed to like so much. Ookay.. Octavia thought. She IS very well practiced, I'll admit.

"The only thing you're going to 'break in' are your eardrums if you keep blasting your music through your headphones like that.."

"How else can I know if my rig sounds good? 'Go big, or go home', right? Besides, I could always just break out the bass cannon."

"Please don't. I'm sure that would go horribly." Speaking of 'horrible'.. Octavia thought. "Blegh, you smell like you haven't showered in days. How long have you been in here doing this?"

"Since I got home."

"Didn't you get home at 2am? Last night?"

"Yup."

"Aren't you even tired!?"

"Nope." The DJ gave her roomate a wide grin. Unbeatable, as always. Octavia gave up on her, turning to leave the DJ's lair.

"Jeez, you really are crazy sometimes, Vinyl.. Promise me you'll take a shower sometime today. You seriously smell awful."

"Fine, fine. I'll do it now. Besides, don't wanna get in the way of your prissy Gala preparations."

"The Grand Galloping Gala is a huge honor, Vinyl. Unlike you, some ponies actually need to look good for their work."

"Oh shut it. I always look good. See?" The unicorn lept up from the floor, her trademark shades pulled over her face, and her mane spiked out in all directions.

"Sure, I'll start believing it when I see it, Vinyl."

"You're so cruel, Octy!" The DJ pretended to pout, even managing to make her eyes water.

"I know." She said with a knowing smile. "Some pony's got to knock you down once in a while."

Geez, Octy's in a good mood today.

The dull grey earth pony left her room with a chuckle, shutting the door behind her. The DJ took off her shades, and looked at herself in the nightstand mirror.

Blegh, my eyes are getting a bit puffy. Maybe I should have gotten some sleep. And I guess I am pretty grimy..

The unicorn used her magic to grab a can of Axe Pony Body Spray, but then tossed the can behind her.

Screw it. I do need a shower, I guess.

The unicorn sauntered into the bathroom, setting about her cleaning rituals that, she'll admit, she probably needs to do more often. Soap, shampoo, and body spray, the DJ looked at herself in the mirror, looking far better than she did a few minutes ago.

See? I do look good.

She grabbed her toothbrush ("Lil Scratchy"), but then somepony started bashing on the bathroom door.

"Hey, gimme a sec, will ya? I thought you said you weren't getting ready for the Gala till later."

"Vinyl..! There's somepony at the door for you. You really, really need to talk to them.." Vinyl heard Octavia's voice quiver. Well, that's not good. She usually doesn't ever sound that nervous, not even before huge performances. Did something happen?

Satisfied with her newly gained cleanliness, Vinyl opened the door. "Chill out, Octy. I'll take care of it."

"Well.. He's right there.."

She gestured towards a armored pony, like the guards of Canterlot castle. He wore a serious look on his face, and had a couple papers in front of him.

He looked at the DJ. "You are Miss Vinyl Scratch, correct?"

Oh... Buck. No wonder Octy was so worried. "Ehm, yeah, that's me. What'cha need?"

The guard handed the papers to Octavia. "The top one is a citation for multiple complaints around Ponyville for Noise Pollution. The bottom one is from Princess Celestia herself, requesting you see her directly on this matter."

Sure enough, there were a few descriptions of the DJ's recent gigs, and a hoofwritted "See Me" written next to the royal emblem at the bottom.

Oh buck, oh buck, oh buck...

"S-so the Princess wants to see me?"

"Yes. And I am to escort you to her, if you are ready to leave."

"Now?"

"Now."

Octavia pulled her friend aside, her worry now full-on anger.

"I TOLD you not to bring out that booming monstrosity!"

"Hey, the bass cannon is part of my show! Normally it hasn't caused a problem,  must be stupid old ponies who don't know good music.."

"This isn't just a complaint, Vinyl. The princess herself summoned you. It's probably not good.."

The anger in Octavia's voice faltered, the worried expression returning to her face. The DJ tried to put on a smile for her roomate, although she herself was terrified.

"Hey, don't worry Octy. The princess is a nice pony, right? I'm sure it'll work out, probably.."

"Ugh, Vinyl.. You really are just too much trouble.." She didn't mean that. Vinyl thought. She's just really worried about this stupid citation. And really, I don't blame her, there.

"Look, don't worry about it. Just relax, and do your stupid stuff for the Gala. And if I'm in Canterlot all day, I'll be sure to stop by the Gala and say hi."

Octavia shot an annoyed look at her friend, for calling the Gala "stupid" again. She knew that now wasn't a terribly good time, though, so she dropped it.

"Just be careful, Vinyl.."

"I will, don't worry." I am SO bucking worried right now. The DJ grabbed her shades, hoping it would hide this fact, and left with the guard pony.

The two quickly made their way to the train station. The guard showed the ticket pony a badge showing his title, and the two were led to an express train to Canterlot. Vinyl couldn't help but marvel how different it looked: It was wider, to accomodate for whatever its occupants would need of it. The train was also powered by magic, and ran on its own, ensuring it was available at all hours in case of emergency. That, and it also looked pretty. Fit for a princess, huh? Vinyl thought, with a scoff.

Vinyl took a seat, and the guard took the one across from her. Vinyl skimmed over her citation again, and sighed, annoyed.

"Between you and me, miss, I'm sure it won't go as badly as your friend thinks it will."

"I thought you guard ponies aren't supposed to talk."

He sighed. "Not exactly. We're the only ponies on this train, you know. I figured I can relax a bit, if it's alright with you."

"Yeah, easy for you to say."

The guard removed his helmet, sweating from the heated compartment. He had a dull brown coat, with a black mane. "Again, it probably won't be that bad. Before I left the castle, the princess seemed more preoccupied with the Gala than you. If it was a sort of royal inquiery, she would have some kind of jury set up long before I left. It's likely you aren't in any trouble, the princess merely wishes to see you personally."

"Well if I'm not in trouble, why'd I get a citation? Usually these are used when somepony screws up badly."

The guard shrugged. "Procedure, I'm guessing. I apologize in advance if I'm wrong, but that's my impression, anyway. Why else would the princess write 'See Me' instead of detailing a specific punishment?"

"I guess." The DJ was still worried all the same. The train was going far too fast for her liking, and was already nearing Canterlot.

"I have a request, miss, if you don't mind."

"Huh?"

The guard pony reached into his satchel, and pulled out a record. One that Vinyl was rather familiar with.

"... Huh. I didn't figured the guy who was arresting me was a fan of my music."

He let out a sheepish chuckle. "I was actually at one of your concerts a few months ago, while I was on leave. A friend of mine dragged me along all the way to Hoofington to see it."

"Wait, Hoofington.. I remember that one! Wasn't that the one where the tables in the front row toppled over because the bass in 'Sonic Boom' caused the screws to come loose? That was so awesome!"

"Yeah, I know! I didn't think I'd like this sort of music, so I was surprised to have enjoyed it so much."

"Well, consider me flattered. I guess you want me to sign this?"

"If you would, Miss DJ Pon-3."

"No need to be so polite, it's cramping my style."

The DJ signed the record as asked. 'Thanks for arresting me! Love, DJ Pon-3'. The guard gave a hearty laugh when he saw it. "That's so awesome, thanks a lot."

Vinyl chuckled, but her mood quickly soured as she saw the train slowing to a stop near the castle.

"No problem. Again, didn't expect you to be a fan, especially while I'm scared out of my wits."

"Again, I'm sure it'll go fine. Now forgive me, since we're nearing the castle, I have to be serious, again. Behave yourself while in the castle."

"Yeah, yeah.."

Although the moment cheered up the DJ, she still followed the pony out of the train, just as nervous as ever.

The castle was full of activity, mostly regarding the Grand Galloping Gala. Chefs were working hard in the kitchen preparing entrees, decorators were throwing a fit about the color of the drapes, things like that. Everypony is really high-strung here. The DJ thought. How could this NOT go badly for me?

She noticed a few servants carrying boxes and other things to the ballroom for the Gala. One of those things was Octavia's cello. Vinyl shot a look at the servant carrying it.

"That's my friend's cello, you know. You break that, I break you."

The servant left with a whimper, taking extra care of the instrument in question. The guard sighed, muttering at the DJ. "I thought I told you to behave yourself."

"Yeah, I hear ya.."

The two finally reached a large door. The Princess' room, it seemed. Vinyl shuddered, nervous about what could happen to her.

The guard knocked. "Princess Celestia, I have brought Miss Vinyl Scratch, as you asked."

He knelt as the Princess opened the door. He winced, noticing that Vinyl was not kneeling as well. Wait, am I supposed to kneel? Oh crap..

The Princess merely chuckled. "At ease. I'm sure our friend here hasn't spent much time with royalty. I'll take care of her from here, you are dismissed."

"Thank you, milady." The guard turned and left. Vinyl's heart started racing. Although the Princess seemed to be very nice, she was still worried about the citation, and why she requested she come directly to her. The princess led Vinyl into the room, and shut it behind her.

"Now, you're Vinyl Scratch, is that right? The ever popular DJ Pon-3?"

"Uh.. yeah, that's me." The DJ took off her shades, trying to be polite for the ruler of all of Equestria.

"Ooh! Your eyes are very pretty. Anyway, I have something I need to ask of you, but first, I'm sure you're wondering about your citation."

"Um..."

"If memory serves, it listed several different offenses of excessive noise all across Ponyville, a couple from Hoofington, some from Las Pegasus.."

Vinyl's knees buckled as the Princess listed off her offenses. Finally, she finished listing them off.

".. Are these charges correct, Miss Vinyl Scratch?"

"U-uh..." The DJ gulped, not sure what was going to happen. Is she mad? I really can't tell..

"Also the reports mentioned you used a large device to make the noise. Is that right?"

"Um.. the bass cannon.." Vinyl muttered. She was sure she was doomed.

The Princess, instead, smiled. "I have a couple questions for you, then. One, do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Huh? Uh, no. Not really." She shuffled her hoof nervously.

"Good! Question two: How quickly can you get this "Bass Cannon" of yours here to the Gala?"

"... Huh!?"

Octavia entered the royal ballroom, making her way through several ponies making last-minute preparations for the Gala. She tightened her bowtie, and tried to brush some dust off her dress. She got caught up with the rest of her musical ensemble, and was reunited with her cello. She made sure the instrument was tuned (perfectly, as usual.), then noticed both Princess Celestia, and her sister, Luna, enter the ballroom. The two seemed cheery, praising the various servants for doing such a good job with their preparations.

Octavia, however, was more sullen. Seeing the Princess reminded her of Vinyl. She never did come back home after she left. I really hope she's okay..

She looked around, realizing that she still had a few minutes before the Gala began, so she trotted over to the Princess.

"Oh, hello there. Miss Octavia, is that right?"

"Yes, Princess Celestia. Are you busy? I was wondering if I could ask you something."

The princess shook her head. "Ask away."

"Well.. it's about a friend of mine. She was here at the castle today, and I haven't seen her since she left. Have you seen her? She's a white unicorn with a bright blue mane-"

"And silly looking sunglasses, right?"

"Yes! That's her."

"You must be worried about her noise complaint, right? Don't worry, we discussed it, and we managed to work something out."

"Is she alright? She didn't come back to the apartment yet. Not while I was there, anyway."

"That's because she is still here. Don't worry, you'll see her before too long."

"Wait, she's here? Is she going to be at the Gala?"

The princess thought for a moment. "You'll see. Now, I have to get the door for the guests. Please take your position with the other performers, and enjoy yourself."

Octavia was still nervous, but the princess' smile was infectious. She returned to her instrument, and the ensemble got their music sheets together. They saw the royal sisters open the doors, and they began to play their music.

About an hour or so passed, and the Grand Galloping Gala was well underway. The invited guests, consisting of the elite and nobles from all across Equestria, were making smalltalk amongst one another. The royal sisters were among them, surely talking about politics, or whatever it is princesses talk about. Octavia and her ensemble really set the mood for the ball, filling the hall with their slow, smooth dance music. Octavia's thoughts returned to her friend. Vinyl either wasn't at the Gala, despite what Celestia said, or she hasn't shown herself yet. She knew that Celestia said that they came to an agreement on Vinyl's citation, but she just wanted to hear from the unicorn herself that things were going to be okay.

Suddenly, the two sisters slipped behind a curtain on the far side of the hall. The curtain covered a stage, usually reserved for the yearly Hearth's Warming Eve pageant, although it has been rented by other performers once in a blue moon. Octavia looked curiously, wondering what was behind the curtain. She didn't remember hearing about any other events during the several rehersals she attended. The two sisters then slipped past the curtain again, both wearing a wide grin. They then stood by the doors again, as if to greet more guests.

That's odd. Octavia thought. I had figured everypony who was invited was already in attendance. Maybe they just wish to greet some late guests? They must be important if both the royal sisters are waiting for them..

Suddenly the lights shut off, the only light in the ballroom was the moonlight shining through the windows. The guests gasped in shock, while Octavia quickly grabbed her cello to keep it safe. What's going on?

Then, a voice boomed through the ballroom. "Fillies and gentlecolts, I hope you all are enjoying your gala!"

The voice was immediately recognized by the cellist. ".. Vinyl!?"

The cellist quickly got confirmation of this when the voice replied. "Heya, Octy! Told ya I'd get things worked out, huh?" She swore she could hear the DJ's grin through the speakers, something that really annoyed her.

The other members of the ensemble heard her, and were curious. "Wait, you know this pony? What the blazes is going on here?"

"I really wish I knew.."

Vinyl continued. "... But I'm not enjoying this Gala! So boring! So dull. More of a meet-up than a party. So here's what's gonna happen:"

A flash of unicorn magic lit up for a moment, turning on spotlights over the stage. Sure enough, Vinyl Scratch stood among her musical equipment, with a confident swagger that the cellist hasn't seen before.

"... I am DJ Pon-3, and I say 'Let the real party BEGIN!"

The royal sisters opened the doors, and a wave of other ponies flooded the hall. Unlike the invited guests, these all were common ponies, mostly from Ponyville, it seemed. They yelled and ran, and made a huge ruckus in the short moments since the sisters opened the doors to them. They quickly cued up before the DJ as the remaining lights turned on. And, to the cellist's horror, she saw the DJ brought her bass cannon.

"Now this is lookin' like a party! Now, everypony, LETS ROCK!"

The floor shook as the DJ switched on her equipment. The music filled the room in a large techno blast, and the bass cannon hummed, quickly building up power. The proper ponies clutched their heads and ran, distressed. The new wave of guests, however, quickly made a mosh pit before the DJ, screaming as loud as they can. Clearly, they were having a good time. Octavia noted. I only wish they were as quiet as the prior guests, though!

Her fellow band members have mostly disbanded, leaving among the chaos that filled the hall. One, however, tried to talk to Octavia. "You said you knew her, right? What is she doing!?"

"I really don't know! All I know is you should cover your ears right now!"

"Why?"

Vinyl Scratch's bass cannon hummed louder, now at full charge (although at a quarter power, so that nopony actually gets hurt.) "You ponies ready to PARTY!?" The DJ looked down at her crowd, who screamed in approval. "Then TASTE MY BASS!" She flipped the switch, and the machine made the entire building quiver. A majority of the previous guests fled from the noise. A few, to the cellist's surprise, dropped their polite behaviours, and loudly joined the party.

Well, the Gala is ruined yet again this year. Big surprise. If I didn't know better, I'd swear the Princess was doing this on purpose.

The royal sisters, at this point, were in the middle of the crowd, being lifted above them by their hooves. Luna looked nervous to be off the ground, while Princess Celestia enjoyed the crowd surfing quite a bit, giggling like a little filly.

Octavia smiled. Curse you, Vinyl. You may have ruined my Gala, but you did bring a good party. May as well have fun, I suppose.

"Dear sister, this was not exactly what I had in mind for this plan!" Princess Luna, now away from the tiresome crowd, rubbed her temples against her hooves. "This music is far too loud for my liking!"

"Do you not like it, Luna? I did promise I'd do something different with the Gala this year."

"Surely everypony will begin to ignore your invitations once word spreads that you like to crash your own parties!" Luna resorted to using her booming Royal Canterlot voice, trying in vain to talk over the booming music.

"Perhaps. Maybe I'll skip the invitations in the future, then! Everypony looks like they're having so much fun."

The loud music died down for a moment, the DJ having finished another song. "Before I continue, everypony give a shout-out to our own Princess Celestia for being the best party Princess ever!"

The crowd cheered, as told. They were chanting Celestia's name. The Princess, of course, was happy with the compliment, and waved to the crowd.

"Ugh, I will retire to my room for the night, sister." Luna's eyes were closed tight, trying to fight off a headache caused by the dubstep. "I do hope you enjoy your party."

"I certainly will, Luna." The princess replied, with a smile.