Show of Hands, Who Saw This Coming?

Twilight Sparkle sat in front of her desk in the library, poring over an old book in front of her. Several other books were open around her, some piled on top of each other, while dozens of books lay discarded on the floor around her chair. She turned to the next page in her book and stared at the words written in it. An occasional glance was made to one of the other books nearby, only for her to return her entranced gaze back to the book in front of her. All the while, Twilight barely moved any other muscle on her body, her mouth slightly agape as her wide, unblinking eyes looked over the books in front of her. Anypony who would have walked in and seen her at that moment might wonder if she was mentally there at all.

As a matter of fact, several other ponies were in the library with her. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy all stood in the library, each with a look of concern as they watched Twilight. Pinkie Pie was there too, initially for the same reason that Applejack had brought Rarity and Fluttershy to the library, but she was now looking around the library, focusing on nothing in particular. Rainbow Dash, however, was lounging on the couch with a book in her hooves. Despite her preoccupation with the work of fiction in front of her, Rainbow at least partially aware of Twilight’s zombie-like state. She, like most of her friends, could barely remember the last time that Twilight had broken away from her studies and stepped outside, and her coat was now a paler shade of lavender than usual, something Rainbow was especially aware of when comparing her with a nearby photo with her in it.

“Uh, Twilight…” Applejack started.

“Sorry, can’t talk, AJ,” Twilight said. “Doing research.”

“That’s actually why we’re here, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “When was the last time yah left the library, Twi?”

“I haven’t really needed to leave the library,” Twilight said, still not taking her eyes from the books in front of her. “Spike usually goes out to buy anything we need, you girls always drop by whenever we need to talk, and anything that the princess needs from me or that I need from her goes through Spike.”

“Wrong answer, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, actually bothering to briefly look up from her book. “Try about three months.”

Applejack sighed. It had been about three months since Twilight had last left the library, maybe a little less. If Applejack had to put a date to it, it would’ve been a few days after Shining Armor and Cadance had come to visit them in Ponyville. Since then, anyone that needed to talk to Twilight normally came to the library to see her. Twilight had been right about that, but right now Applejack needed to talk to her. She nodded to Rarity, who stepped forward and focused her magic on the window behind Twilight’s desk. With one quick motion, Rarity pulled the curtains open. Twilight recoiled from her desk and placed her hooves against her eyes, shielding them from the daylight as it spread into the library through her window.”

“Argh, turn the lights down!” Twilight groaned. “What is that?”

“That’s the sun, Twilight,” Applejack said. “Yah’d know that if yah didn’t spend all day cooped up in this here tree.”

“Twilight, we’re all very worried about you,” Rarity said. “Normally we look the other way whenever you obsess over your studies, but even for you this is excessive.”

“Can you tell us what it is you’re studying?” Fluttershy murmured. “If you want, maybe we can help you find what you’re looking for.”

Twilight turned to look at her friends for a moment. She then looked back at the books on her desk, still shielding her poorly-adjusted eyes from the sunlight streaming through her window. “I’m looking for any information I can find about Nightmare, the Wisps, and anti-magic,” she finally said.

“Twilight, the Wisps live in a completely different world,” Rarity said. “I highly doubt that anypony else has ever traveled to their world and discovered them.”

“Then how do you explain that sword we found in Canterlot Castle, the one that can absorb Volt’s Shinespark?” Twilight asked. “That sword was in a hidden passage of the castle, just waiting for us to find it. And what about Nightmare’s attack on the Wisp’s world? Zero Volt found her there only two years after we saved Princess Luna from her. For all we know, she could have known about them all along before we defeated her.”

Pinkie appeared next to Twilight wearing a deerstalker hat. “Hmm, somehow this all points back to Zero,” she said. “He’s the one that found the sword by smashing that window with his bracelet. Come on, Twilight. We have somepony to interrogate.”

“I tried,” Twilight said. “He’s clueless. And I’ve looked through every book I can find on history, magic, biology, architecture, classical literature, and mythology, but I can’t find anything.”

“Sounds like you’re graspin’ at straws on those last few subjects,” Applejack said. “Look, it’s great that you’re tryin’ to learn anything that might help, but we think it’s time yah take a little break for your studies.”

“Wait, is this an intervention?”

“Not exactly, but like we said before, we’re all very worried about you,” Rarity said.

Before Twilight could respond, she heard the front door start to open. Zero Volt walked in, and briefly glanced around the library. “Hey girls,” he said. “Twilight, are you still on that research binge?”

“You’re not here for the intervention too, are you?” Twilight asked.

“Actually, yeah,” he said. “I’m not late, am I?”

“By about five minutes, Volt,” Rainbow said.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said. “I got held up a bit back at the hospital.”

“I appreciate everypony’s concern for me,” Twilight said. “But could you try to solve some other pony’s problems, maybe try to Volt a fillyfriend.”

“You’re deflectin’, Twilight,” Applejack said.

“Yeah, and what an odd deflection to make,” Zero Volt mused out loud.

“Look, this is really important,” Twilight said. “The more we know about Nightmare and how this all started, the more prepared we’ll be to fight her.”

“Nopony’s arguing about that, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. She walked over to Twilight and placed a hoof on her back. “We just think it would be healthy for you to take a break every once in a while.”

Twilight looked from Fluttershy, who was gently trying to coax her into leaving the library and going with them, to the rest of her friends. “Alright fine,” she said. “I guess it can wait until later.”

“Alright!” Pinkie Pie said. “Now our next order of business: getting Zero a special somepony!” Pinkie’s suggestion was met with mixed reactions throughout the room, ranging from a quick, definitive nod and a few smiles to several cocked eyebrows.

“Huh?” Zero Volt said. “Wait, why?”

“Well yah have ta admit, yah haven’t really been with anypony in all the time yah’ve been here,” Applejack said.

“That’s sort of like the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?” Zero Volt said. “And I’m not just talking about you, AJ.”

“Now look who’s deflecting,” Twilight joked.

“Come on Volt,” Rainbow Dash said. “Let the girls find you a fillyfriend. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I could die,” Zero Volt said.

“Okay,” Twilight said. “Realistically, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“I could die,” he said with a little more emphasis.

“In all likelihood, what’s the worst thing that could happen?” Rarity asked.

“I could die!”

“Alright, we can see that you’re skeptical,” Twilight said, lightly chuckling at the same time. “Just come back in a few days and talk to us again.”

“Sure thing, Twilight,” Zero Volt said. “Until then, remember to enjoy the wonderful world outside this tree.” He then teleported out of the library.

“So are we really going to play matchmaker for him?” Twilight asked.

“Well I can’t speak for anyone else, but I suppose we might as well,” Rarity said. “It was only a matter of time before our gender would have to sacrifice one of its own to appease him.”

“Uh… what?” Twilight said. Her confusion was shared by the others in the room, and even Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash looked up from what they were doing to give her an odd look.

“You all remember that movie we watched a few months ago,” Rarity said. “He said it himself that he was at least somewhat interested in us.”

“Yeah, and a year and a half later, he hasn’t made a single pass at any of us,” Rainbow said as she flipped a page in her book. “Not even once.”

“You don’t think we put him off, do you?” Fluttershy asked.

“Maybe on the first day he was here, but Ah’m sure he’s plenty comfortable around us now,” Applejack said. “Ah think we can wait a while before working on this side project, but right now let’s get Twilight outside. Any ideas?”

“How about a picnic?” Pinkie Pie said.

The rest of the group voiced their agreement, including a “sounds good” from Rainbow Dash. The six of them headed toward the door and walked out into Ponyville. As they moved further away from the library, Twilight started looking back, toward the research she had left behind.

“You can talk to us about your research along the way,” Fluttershy said. “If it makes you feel any better.”

“Well, I haven’t found anything yet, but I know I’m looking for something from before Princess Luna was possessed by Nightmare, probably something from Equestria’s earliest history. Maybe even before Equestria was founded.”

“Ponyville’s library isn’t even a century old, Twilight,” Rarity said. “I can’t imagine you would find anything there.”

“I’ve also looked through a number of items in the Canterlot archives,” Twilight said.

“And still nothing?” Rarity asked. Twilight shook her head.

* * * * * * * * * *

Three days later, Zero Volt made his way to the Carousel Boutique and knocked on the door. Several seconds passed without anyone answering the door. He knocked a second time, and moments later he heard hooves against the floor inside. The door eventually opened, and Rarity stood on the other side of it. “O-Oh, good afternoon, Zero,” Rarity said, looking very flustered. A few hairs in her mane and coat were out of place. Beads of sweat trickled down the sides of her body, and she was taking quick, shallow breaths.

“Yeah, apparently I’m supposed to come here to talk about setting me up with somepony?” he said.

“R-Right… the side project,” she said. “Look, this isn’t the best time for me to discuss this with you. Perhaps you could come back in a few days.”

Zero Volt took another look at Rarity. She was having trouble focusing on anything, though she seemed to be trying to divert her attention away from him in particular. Her hind legs were shifting about nervously, and when he looked back, he noticed that her tail was slightly raised in the air. “Are you in heat?”

“H-How did you…” Rarity trailed off. At first she was hoping to drive Zero Volt away without any potential blow to her dignity, but he had managed to figure it out on his own. “I suppose the signs are there, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, they are,” he said. “Look, if this is a bad time, then-”

“No, no, I’m sure we can keep this brief,” she said. “Please, come in.” Rarity stepped back and allowed Zero Volt to come in while keeping her distance from him. “I just needed to know if you have any preferences, and if there are any mares you’re particularly interested in.”

“Not really,” Zero Volt said. “I mean, I guess I like pegasi a little more. That’s not a problem, is it?”

“Not at all,” Rarity said. “If you told me to rule out any pony races, then we’d have a problem. Now that you mention it, you do seem to get along with pegasi more easily than any other ponies.”

“I guess I just relate to them more,” he said. “I can’t even count the number of hours I’ve spent running above the clouds or Shinesparking over Ponyville. Plus, if you get a pegasus to fly overhead, you can get a nice shot between their legs.”

“Zero, now is not the time of year to be giving me ideas!” Rarity said.

“Right, sorry.”

Rarity turned to look at Zero Volt. At the moment, she struggled just to maintain her composure, or even just to think straight. It certainly didn’t help that there was a stallion right in front of her to add fuel to the fire, even if it was just Zero. But what she found strange was that he didn’t seem to be acting any differently at all. His breathing was regular, his gait was normal, his eyes weren’t drawn to any particular part of her, and he seemed to be keeping some degree of focus. As far as Rarity could tell, he was just acting like Zero.

“Zero, my estrous phase…” she said. “This isn’t bothering you at all?”

“No, not really.”

This bothered Rarity even more. She was certain that under the circumstances, pheromones and everything, Zero Volt should have been trying just as desperately as she was to control his baser instincts. The fact that he was completely unaffected by her being in heat and casually admitted it confounded her, but then she considered another possibility. “Are you sure it’s really mares that you’re interested in?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” he said. “I remember the last time Dash was in heat. She drove me nuts.” Rarity’s jaw dropped after his last comment. She stared silently at him for several seconds, prompting a confused reaction from him. “What?”

“… Really?!”

“Okay, it’s not what it sounds like.”

“You said it yourself, Zero. You found it difficult to compose yourself when Rainbow was in heat.”

“I think you’re confusing love with lust, Rarity,” Zero Volt said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Rarity said, stepping toward him. “In fact, I’m willing to bet that you’re lust for her was exacerbated by something that’s already there.”

Rarity stared smugly at Zero Volt. As much as he was straining her willpower during this estrous phase, and as much as she wanted him to leave, she was also confident in her assertion that he was infatuated with Rainbow Dash. While she was trying to extract a confession for him, Zero Volt was trying to stare her down. He was expecting her to drop the subject eventually, but after a minute passed, he realized that he didn’t have any counterargument against her. “Alright fine, I’m attracted to Rainbow Dash.”

“I should have realized it earlier,” Rarity said. “You spend so much time with her, you’re friendlier around her, you… you’ve been staring up at her when she’s flying, haven’t you?”

“Well yeah, she’s a great stunt flyer and- Wait, no, not like that!”

“Zero, you’ve already admitted plenty to me today,” she said. “In hindsight, this should have been obvious to me too.”

“Rarity, have you seen how fast she normally flies?” Zero Volt said. “I don’t think it’s possible to steal a glance when she flies by.” Rarity seemed to accept his defense somewhat, but she wasn’t completely convinced, and continued to stare at him. “Not that I haven’t tried.”

“Nevertheless, this is a good place to start,” Rarity said. “Now that we’ve established that you have feelings for her, our next step is deciding how you should court her.”

“Actually…”

“Zero, please don’t tell me that you’re worried about whether she’ll feel the same way,” she said. “I understand that confessing your feelings to a pony who doesn’t reciprocate them might make things uncomfortable between you, but I’ve seen that in so many romance stories, and to tell you the truth, it gets boring after a while.”

“Actually, that’s just part of it,” Zero Volt said. “You see, there’s another pony-”

“Oh,” Rarity said. “Oh! You mean Fluttershy?”

“Wait, how did you know?”

“Let’s just say that I’ve noticed a few things in the last year,” she said. “So you’re having trouble deciding between the two.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Hmm… I was going to ask what was taking you so long to ask one of them out.” Zero Volt gave her a confused look. “Zero, you’ve been in Ponyville for a year and a half now. Grade school foals who are afraid of catching cooties have made more progress than you. You’re lucky that Rainbow and Fluttershy are both still single.” Zero Volt’s glanced uncomfortably around the room. “Although, there are reasons that the two of them don’t have special someponies of their own, and therein lies the difficulty in courting either one of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“In Fluttershy’s case, it’s fairly obvious,” Rarity said. “A pony as timid as she is isn’t going to put herself out there, and if any stallion were to talk to her, she would just run away and hide.”

“I can see how that might be a problem.”

“Well, it’s not all bad,” she said. “Coltfriend or no coltfriend, Fluttershy is already perfectly content with us as friends, not to mention all of her animals.”

“I guess there’s something to be said about missing out on something,” Zero Volt said. “If you don’t know what you’re missing, you don’t really mind missing it.”

“Exactly,” Rarity said. “And with that, we have a convenient segue toward Rainbow Dash. Now Zero, between her weather duties, her Wonderbolts training, and everything she does during her free time, have you ever once seen her with a coltfriend? Have you ever seen her on a date with anypony? Have you ever seen her take an interest in any stallion?” Zero Volt shook his head after each question. “It seems to me that Rainbow Dash simply isn’t interested in a relationship. At the very least, she clearly isn’t thinking of being in one.”

“That does give me a lot to think about,” he said. “But it’s a little too soon to be thinking about how I should ask either one out. I still need to figure out which one I should ask.” Rarity rolled her eyes at him. She had already told him that he was taking too long, and even though she wasn’t saying it a second time, he knew what she meant by the eye roll.

“Ultimately, you’re going to have to decide for yourself,” Rarity said, “but if you want my advice, you should choose Rainbow Dash. You seem to have a better rapport with Fluttershy, but you have much more in common with Rainbow.”

“Thanks,” Zero Volt said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Also know that I can give you more advice once you actually make up your mind between the two,” she said. “As their friend and dress designer, there’s a lot I’ve learned about those two over the years.”

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Zero Volt interrupted. “Every once in a while, you have these magazines and stuff with Fluttershy’s picture on them, and-.”

“Those are from a few years ago,” Rarity said. “I asked Fluttershy to model a few dresses for me, and she was immediately scooped up by the photographer, Photo Finish to be a professional model. That is, until she quit after a week or two.”

“Only a week or two? What happened?”

“As it turns out, she hated being a model, especially with all of the public attention she received because of it. She doesn’t like to talk about it, and I don’t think anypony still remembers her after all this time, but I’ve saved a few of her photos. Of course, Rainbow Dash is fairly attractive herself, wouldn’t you agree? Fluttershy is gorgeous, adorable even, but I’ve always found that Rainbow Dash has a more untamed, natural beauty to her. Admittedly, I find her to be the least cooperative pony to design a dress for, but it’s always a delight to work with those strong, toned legs, those powerful, yet graceful wings-” Rarity stopped in the middle of her speech when she noticed Zero Volt staring at her. His mouth was hanging slightly open, and one of his eyebrows was raised. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I assure you that I’m saying that as a fashion designer, not as a lesbian.”

“You sure about that?” he asked. “Because it really sounded like you were swooning back there. Maybe there’s something you’re not telling yourself?”

“Zero, if I was a lesbian, do you think I would mind you being here while I’m in heat?!” she said, scowling back at him.

“Oh, right,” he said. “Forgot about that.” Taking a closer look at Rarity, Zero Volt noticed that she seemed more composed now than when she let him into the boutique. Neither of them had brought much attention to the topic in the last few minutes, and even though she was panting now, her breathing had been calmer a minute ago. He started to think that the conversation had managed to take her mind off of her estrous, if only for a while.

“Of course, we can't quite say the same for Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said.

“Oh right, isn't there a rumor around Ponyville that Dash might be a lesbian?” Zero Volt asked.

“It's not just a rumor,” she said. “There's a betting pool going around about her sexual orientation. At this point, either she's too dense to realize it or she's deliberately teasing hundreds, if not thousands of ponies.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Dash,” he said. “Still, I don't really see the connection. I mean sure, the mane color is a bit LGBT, but that's her natural color. She can't change it.”

“As opposed to what, her sexual orientation?”

Zero Volt thought about Rarity's remark for a few seconds. “I see what you did there,” he said. “Yeah, that's clever.”

“At the same time, you must realize that she's a bit… butch,” Rarity said.

“You mean she's a tomboy?” he said. “Well that's no excuse. Ignoring or rejecting one's traditional gender roles doesn't make you homosexual. By that logic, Spike should be gay.”

“Now now, leave Spike alone,” she said. “He's quite the gentlecolt, er, gentle-dragon.”

“Yeah, a gentle-dragon who wears an apron, bakes cookies, and goes to the spa,” Zero Volt said. “Rarity, I once saw him walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head. The strange thing is that he doesn't even have a mane or anything.”

“Be that as it may, he has made his feelings toward me abundantly obvious,” Rarity said. “He just needs a role model that's a bit more masculine, that's all. In fact, why don't you fulfill that role? You're around us all the time.”

“Let Shining Armor do it, he's the surrogate brother.”

“Nevertheless, that leaves one bit of evidence still on the table,” she said. “You see, Pinkie Pie is prone to some... indecent exposure during her more unhinged moments.”

“Indecent exposure? Rarity, you do realize that public nudity is socially acceptable, right?”

“Let me finish. Anyway, during those moments, Rainbow's wings have the peculiar habit of stretching out.”

“Oh yeah, I've seen that a couple of times, but that's not exactly concrete evidence," he said. "I mean, if you've seen the look on Dash's face during those moments, you'd think that Pinkie Pie was rolling around in garbage.”

“You know, I once saw Pinkie Pie roll around in garbage.”

“Really?”

“No, but considering how readily you believed me, you can understand why we're all a little worried about her.”

“I see what you mean,” Zero Volt said. “Has Dash ever had that reaction around any stallions?”

“Well, maybe the Wonderbolts,” Rarity said. She walked toward the front door and passed Zero Volt along the way, prompting him to follow her. “Soarin in particular, but I think Spitfire as well, and she's a mare.”

“Maybe she's just being a fanfilly,” he said. “You know, she could just be bisexual.”

“That's also a possibility, but there is one way you could find out for certain,” she said as she led him toward the door. Zero Volt stepped outside, but Rarity stayed within the boutique. “Ask her yourself, and leave me alone!” She slammed the door in Zero Volt's face, leaving him outside the Carousel Boutique.

“... Okay, maybe I will.” Zero Volt turned around and walked away. He wasn’t entirely sure where he wanted to go next, but he was thinking of either seeing Applejack or Rainbow Dash. He would have given it more thought, but before he could take ten steps outside, the door to the Carousel Boutique flung open. Zero Volt turned around, and as soon as she saw Rarity at the doorway, he felt his body lifted off the ground and pulled back to the boutique.

“On second thought, I need to ask you a favor,” Rarity said. Zero Volt watched Rarity carefully, uncertain of what she wanted, but ready to teleport on a moment’s notice. “I need you to teleport me to and from the drugstore.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” He teleported out of Rarity’s telekinetic grip, appeared next to her, and teleported both of them to Ponyville’s drugstore.

They both appeared inside the entrance of the store, and Rarity took a moment to get her bearings. Almost immediately, she was hit by a wave of heat, and her mind felt hazy. Other stallions had been in the store earlier in the day, and their presence lingered the air, tormenting her as she took in her surroundings. Shelves were lined with bottles and small boxes. To their left was the checkout counter where the pharmacist, a mauve pegasus mare wearing a lab coat, was tending to a customer. Rarity walked down one of the aisles, followed by Zero Volt.

Once they stopped in the middle of the aisle, Zero Volt started browsing the selection. The shelf Rarity was looking through held a variety of products meant to deal with a mare’s estrous phase, and her asking to be brought to the drugstore made sense to Zero Volt as soon as he looked at that shelf. The products were mostly either pharmaceuticals or various potions made by Zecora. Some of them were contraceptives, some worked to lower a mare’s libido, and a few of them did both. “Hey, Rarity? I understand the point of the contraceptive ones, but what’s the point of the other two? It seems kind of redundant to have both.”

“They’re both for mares who don’t plan to spend several days engaged in heated intercourse,” Rarity said. “The combined ones are a bit more expensive, but they’re completely redundant unless you don’t want to take any chances.” Rarity picked up one of the boxes on the left side of the shelf, among the products used to suppress libido. This was her usual choice for managing her estrous, and she would have already been taking it if it hadn’t caught her by surprise this season. It would take a while before the drug took effect, but she could shelter herself within her home in the meantime.

Meanwhile, Zero Volt was still thinking about his plans for the rest of the day. Finding Rainbow Dash was one option, partly to hang out with her, partly to ask about her sexual orientation, but he wasn’t sure where she would be. She could have been doing tricks in her practice field, maintaining the weather, resting on any one of thousands of tree branches, or sunbathing on any one of hundreds of clouds. Even if he did find her, he wasn’t sure how to approach the topic. He definitely needed to know, if only to know whether or not to rule her out, but he didn’t want her to notice the subtext behind his asking. He also considered visiting Applejack. At this time, she would have been tending to the trees in Sweet Apple Acres, followed by a little practice with her violin. He thought that she might help him narrow it down between Rainbow and Fluttershy, but he was also concerned about too many people knowing.

“Zero?” Rarity asked. Having already made her purchase, she prodded an unmoving Zero Volt with her hoof. “Zero!” He snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention to Rarity. “We can go now, Zero.” Zero Volt nodded and teleported both of them to the front step of Rarity’s house. Using her magic, Rarity opened the door and walked inside. “I will get you back for this, you know.”

“Huh? Why?”

“For tormenting me while I’m in heat for the last twenty minutes,” she said. “This was supposed to be a short visit, wasn’t it?”

“Oh. Sorry about that,” he said. “If it’s any consolation, I did help you make that drugstore run.”

A thought came to Rarity’s mind, one inspired by the discussion she had with him. “I suppose you have a point there,” she said. “Now that I think about it, you once said that you’d like to be a pegasus, right? If I remember correctly, Twilight has a spell that can temporarily give wings to a pony.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, she used it on me a few years back when we all took a trip to Cloudsdale,” she said. “Rainbow Dash was participating in a flying competition, and we all went to give her moral support. You should ask her to cast it on you sometime.”

“Yeah, I might just do that,” Zero Volt said, his enthusiasm growing by the second. “Thanks, Rarity.”

“Just remember to mention my name when you ask her,” Rarity said. “The spell is very taxing, but I’m sure she’ll be happy to do it for you if you give her my recommendation.”

“Okay, thanks again!” Zero Volt immediately broke into a gallop as he left Rarity’s home. Meanwhile, Rarity stood by the doorway smiling at him before she eventually walked inside.

* * * * * * * * * *

Half an hour later, Zero Volt was walking toward the Apple family house. Bluegrass music was playing nearby, slowly becoming louder and clearer as he approached the house from the side. The tune continued playing when he turned a corner and reached the front of the house, where Applejack was practicing a solo piece. She finally reached the end of the song and looked up, seeing Zero Volt standing nearby.

“Howdy, Volt!” Applejack said. “Y’alright there? Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever seen your face that red before.”

“Ask Rarity,” Zero Volt said. “Or Twilight… or Fluttershy… or whoever that camera flash came from. So, you’re practicing the violin?”

“It’s called a fiddle, Volt,” Applejack said. “It’s only a violin if you’re into that fancy high society music. What brings yah here?”

“I was wondering how involved you are in that whole ‘find a fillyfriend for me’ project,” he said. “I just got back from Rarity’s and we made some progress.”

“Ah might take some time outta mah schedule,” she said, putting down her fiddle. “But how does talkin’ about that with Twilight and Rarity get you this embarrassed. If Pinkie Pie were as embarrassed as you, we could see it on her face.”

“This was something that happened after Rarity and I talked,” he said. “And Fluttershy was there too.”

From where she was sitting, Applejack could see his face turning even redder than before. “Somethin’ about Fluttershy get you all worked up?” she asked, right before making a realization. “Now wait just a minute. You like Fluttershy, don’t yah?”

“Yeah, I do,” he said sheepishly.

“Well Ah’ll be,” Applejack said. “Ah always thought you were sweet on Rainbow Dash.” Zero Volt didn’t respond. Applejack noticed and scowled at him. “Really? Both of them?”

“Look, I’m only going to pick one of them,” Zero Volt said. “I’m just having trouble deciding which one.”

“How much trouble?”

“Enough trouble that I’ve known both of them for about a year and a half and still can’t decide,” he said.

“Ah see. Ah didn’t know yah even liked Fluttershy, ” Applejack said. “Ah’m sure yah’d look nice together, but how’d this all start?”

Zero Volt paused for a moment to think. Do you remember when all of you visited me in the hospital, and that cake that Pinkie brought with her?”

“The one yah thought we tried to poison you with?”

“Yeah, and Fluttershy caught on to me,” he said. “After you all left, she promised to keep it a secret for me, I guess because of all the tension between us. Then she asked me if I could try to trust you girls. You know, it took me a few weeks before I started to trust any of you, or a few months in Rarity and Pinkie Pie’s case. But Fluttershy… I started trusting her on that first day. To tell you the truth, she’s the reason I decided to give this town a shot.”

“Sounds like you’ve already got a good idea of who yah want to ask,” Applejack said. “But let me ask yah this. Do yah trust Rainbow Dash as much as yah trust Fluttershy?”

Zero Volt thought quietly for a moment. “Yeah,” he said. “I trust them about the same.”

“Hmm, Ah still think yah oughta go with Fluttershy, but you’re gonna havta figure this one out for yourself, Volt,” Applejack said. “But if yah go with Rainbow Dash, Ah should warn you. Ponies tend to get hurt when they’re around her long enough.”

“What, you mean emotionally.”

“Ah mean physically,” she said. “The first time Ah met her, she decided to take a break from her weather chores and mess around the farm. Ah caught her eating a few apples off the trees, and she thought it’d be fun to have me chase her ‘round the orchard. Ah got mah rope and tried ta lasso her down. Big mistake.”

“What happened?”

“Ah was still holdin’ mah end of the rope when the lasso went around her leg. She flew me into half a dozen trees before she noticed she’d picked me off the ground.”

Zero Volt winced. “But I’ve seen you hold her back by the tail before,” he said.

“She knows ta hold back now whenever she feels somethin’ tug on her tail,” she said. She picked up her fiddle and stood up. “Look, Ah gotta bring mah apples to market right now. But before yah go, Ah’ve got one last thing to say.” She placed her fiddle just inside the doorway. Then she turned back to Zero Volt and walked directly up to him, glaring into his eyes and making him step back. “Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are two of mah closest friends, so whatever choice you make, pick one and only one. Ah know how to use a geldin’ knife, so Ah’d better not see yah messing around with the two of ‘em.”

Zero Volt continued to stare at her, his mouth hanging open. Aside from an occasional blink, he didn’t say a word, nor did he move another part of his body. Meanwhile, Applejack didn’t wait for his response. She walked toward the barn to prepare her vendor’s cart.

“Point taken,” Zero Volt finally said after Applejack had left. He turned around and left Sweet Apple Acres, heading toward Ponyville. His next destination was to Rainbow Dash’s practice field, where the two of them had planned to have a sparring match, something they had been doing together once every few weeks. His pace quickened to a trot, and then to a canter. He was supposed to meet her in fifteen minutes, so he didn’t feel the need to teleport or break into a gallop.

“Hi, Zero!”

Zero Volt turned around and saw Pinkie Pie trotting toward him. He slowed down a bit, allowing her to catch up to him. “Oh, hey Pinkie.”

“Whatcha up to?”

“I’m meeting up with Dash at her practice field,” he said. “She and I are doing a little sparring today.”

Pinkie gave him a small pout. “Aw, are you having a lover’s quarrel?” she asked.

“W-What?”

“Or maybe you’re heart’s set on Fluttershy.”

“You know?!”

“Of course I know, silly!” Pinkie said. “I’ve seen what you’re like around them, how much time you spend with them. Anypony could have seen it from a mile away. It almost makes me wonder how you feel about the rest of us.” The two of them slowed down to a walking pace. Neither one said anything at first, with Zero Volt continuing toward the field and Pinkie following him. “How do you feel about the rest of us?”

“What do you mean?”

“You remember what you said to Nightmare about us,” she said. “Now that you know us all better, how do you feel about the rest of us?”

“Applejack no, Rarity never, Twilight maybe and you…” Zero Volt paused for a moment. He stared at Pinkie Pie, who continued to grin at him. “We’d have to be really drunk first.”

“That’s okay,” Pinkie said, petting his forehead. “You’re not my type. So, did you make up your mind yet between Flutters and Dashie?”

“No, not yet,” he said. “I’ve talked to Rarity and Applejack, but they didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. What do you think?”

“I think…” Pinkie Pie started, only to pause in midsentence. Apart from the soft thumps of her hooves against the dirt road, Pinkie was completely silent, and Zero Volt leaned closer to her in anticipation. “… that you’ve got a tough choice to make.” Zero Volt lifted his right foreleg to do a facehoof. Not realizing that he was still trotting along, he stumbled forward and fell down headfirst. “But it’d be great if you and Fluttershy got together. That way, all four of us could be happy! We could even double-date!”

“Hold on! Hold on,” Zero Volt said as he stood back up. “Four of us? So then you’re…” Pinkie nodded. “When you said I wasn’t your type, you weren’t kidding,” he muttered.

“Well, that’s just part of it,” Pinkie said. “But you don’t how close you came to changing my mind when you came to Ponyville with chocolate in your coat.” Pinkie Pie placed her hooves on Zero Volt, one on his muzzle and the other on his side. “If you were a mare, I would’ve been all over you,” she said in a sultry tone.

Zero Volt placed his own hooves on her chest, pushing her off of him and keeping her at foreleg’s length. “And I would’ve filed a restraining order.”

Pinkie put her hooves back down and pouted at him. “You know what? That’s why you and I can’t be special someponies together,” she said. “I think you’re cute in that silly scaredy-colt kinda way, but when I wanna be your friend and you run away from me and think I wanna hurt you, it gets hurtful after a while.”

“Sorry,” Zero Volt said. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t run away from you anymore. I’m here right now, aren’t I?” Pinkie Pie smiled weakly at him. “So, about Dash. Does that mean she’s also a lesbian?”

“Actually, she goes both ways,” Pinkie said. “But not at the same time, so don’t you get any ideas.” She ended her answer with a playful jab to Zero Volt’s snout.

“You’re not the first earth pony to tell me that today,” he said. “But if you like her too, that means we’re both competing for her, right? Unless I decide on Fluttershy?”

“Mmm... maybe,” Pinkie said with some uncertainty. She fell into an uncomfortable pause for a few seconds and finally gave a deep sigh. “But I’ve been friends with Rainbow Dash a lot longer than you, and I’ve been trying to get her attention for a really long time. I don’t think she's really interested, so you probably don't have anything to worry about from me.”

Zero Volt thought for a moment. “Maybe you’re being too…” He trailed off on the last word, almost changing his mind about finishing the sentence. “Subtle.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Pinkie said. “Dash once said that I’m about as subtle as a brick to the face, but I never understood that. You’d definitely notice if a brick hit you in the face.”

“She is pretty blunt,” Zero Volt said. “But she does have her more compassionate moments.”

“What do you mean?”

Zero Volt sighed. “Promise you won’t tell anypony about this, especially not Rainbow Dash.” Pinkie placed her hoof over her eye. “That night when you all found out about my fear of dogs, Dash flew over to my place to ask me about it. She sort of connected the dots between my fear and Baltimare, and she wanted to see if I was okay.”

“She flew all the way through that super-cold snowstorm just to check up on you?” Pinkie said. “Aw, that’s really sweet of her.”

“Yeah, and after I told her everything, she stayed over that night to make sure I was okay,” he said. “What she did for me that night, it really meant a lot to me, you know?”

Pinkie Pie nodded. “But wait, why doesn’t she want anypony to know about it?”

“I guess she doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about her spending the night at my place,” he said. “Either that, or she’s protecting her reputation as a tough pony.” The two of them stood in silence for a few seconds. The moment ended when Zero Volt glanced at his watch. “Oh wow, I really lost track of time there. Later, Pinkie.”

“Bye, Zero,” she said just before Zero Volt teleport away, leaving her alone. “And now off to Rarity’s.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Up above her practice field, Rainbow Dash angled herself downward, wings beating faster as she propelled herself into a dive. Down on the ground, her target stood still and watched, waiting for the right time to make his move. Rainbow was mere feet away from him when her target disappeared with a green flash. She made a quick glance to the right before performing a barrel roll to dodge him. She was already close to the ground and had to skid to a stop on her hooves.

Zero Volt landed with his hooves on the ground, just to the left of Rainbow Dash. He teleported again, this time right behind her, and grabbed her tail with his teeth. Rainbow felt the tugging on her tail, and with wings already spread, she took off again, pulling him with her. Zero Volt released her tail and teleported away. His hooves slid across the ground upon landing, but before he could come to a stop, Rainbow turned around and flew at him. She tackled him from the side, placing her forelegs around him and grappling him by the sides. She flipped him over and dropped him on his back, landing on top of him and pinning him to the ground.

Zero Volt tried to move his forelegs, but Rainbow kept her hooves pressed against them, keeping him pinned to the ground. “Nope, you stay down, Zero,” she said with a smirk on her face.

Zero Volt lay there, staring at Rainbow and waited for her to let him go. “You don’t normally call me ‘Zero,’” he said.

After a while, Rainbow Dash relented and stepped off of him. “You don’t normally lose this badly to me,” she said. “I thought you were getting royal guard training.” She offered him a hoof, which he accepted, and pulled him up to a sitting position.

“I’m being trained as a swordspony,” he said as he stood up on his hooves. “Unless you want me to find a wooden stick to whack you with, that’s not going to do me any good. Besides, I still won three to two today, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but what’s our total scores?” she asked. The two of them walked a nearby tree and sat down underneath it. Rainbow Dash picked up two bottles, one blue with a lightning bolt on it, and the other green with black pegasus wings, and tossed the latter to Zero Volt.

“Sixty-eight to sixty-one you,” he said. “But I’m making a comeback.” He took a drink from his bottle while she chuckled at him.

“So, any progress on finding you a mare?” she asked.

“None whatsoever,” Zero Volt said. “So far, Rarity’s having a bad week, and Applejack threatened to castrate me.” Rainbow gave him a bewildered look. “It makes more sense in context. On the bright side, Pinkie and I had a fascinating conversation about lesbians.” Rainbow Dash laughed and took a drink from her bottle. “Or at least I think we were talking about lesbians. I wasn’t paying much attention.”

“Yeah, she has that effect after a while,” Rainbow said. “Did you ask Twilight or Fluttershy?”

“I didn’t get the chance to,” he said. “Fluttershy’s still helping Twilight wean off the dead end research. I don’t think she’s going through withdrawal, so that’s good news.”

“You think it would’ve helped us if she actually found something?”

“I don’t know,” Zero Volt said, taking another drink. “It’s been three months since Nightmare last showed up. I don’t even know what she could be planning. She tried using the Wisps, she tried using Luna, she tried… whatever that was she did when she last came here.”

“I think she went after us,” she said. “To get rid of the Elements and the princesses. It doesn’t matter. We have the Shinespark, and we have that sword. If she shows up again, we’ll kick her flank like every other time.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Zero Volt took another drink from his bottle, and the two of them remained silent for a while. “You know, I’ve been getting these weird thoughts lately.” Rainbow Dash looked at him. “It’s like something keeps telling me to drop the sword, drop the Shinespark, and just leave. Like I should just leave this to you girls and stay out of it.”

“You’re not really going to ditch us like that, are you?” Rainbow asked.

“No, of course not,” he said. “I’m not even sure where those thoughts came from, but something about them feels familiar.” The two of them became silent again. To their left, the sun was setting below the horizon, but they both continued to stay underneath the tree.