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               The Sun Sets Before Starlight               
                     -by EclipseSight-                     
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                     Breaking the Dam                      
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Breaking the Dam
“So...you say the magic in this world is connected to these geodes?” Starlight asked, carefully rolling Sunset's between her fingers under her scrutinizing gaze. She had to admit, as weird as they looked, hands were much more dexterous than hooves. At least when it came to simply holding things.
“Yup,” Sunset replied with a nod, settling down onto the worn sofa next to her fellow Equestrian. “We found them at Camp Everfree and ever since then wearing them has given us access to special powers. Dash has super speed, Applejack has super strength, Rarity can create gemstone constructions, Fluttershy can talk to animals, Pinkie Pie makes things explode, Twilight can use levitation magic to manipulate objects and I'm able to see the thoughts and feelings of those I touch.”
Listening to the list, Starlight's eyes widened and her jaw slackened slightly. “Wow, that's quite varied. More like special talents than what we would call basic magic.” She shrugged and handed back the geode, allowing Sunset to slip it back around her neck. “It's fascinating. Though, I guess there's a lot of problems that stem from having an influx of magic in a world that isn't used to it.” To illustrate her point, she picked up the mangled mirror that had previously imprisoned Sunset and the others. “Like, this for example... In Equestria something like this would be locked away or destroyed, but here...”
“Yeah...there isn't a lot of damage control,” Sunset mused, clasping her hands behind her head and resting against the makeshift cushion. “Right now it's just me and the others... Which is why I worry so much...” Kicking her legs, she idly watched her foot appear and disappear over the horizon of her thighs. “I don't want anyone here to get hurt because of magic...” The next part she left unsaid. Especially the magic I brought here...
Starlight's brow furrowed as she stared down at the thing in her hand. Today had been close, too close. It was no wonder Sunset was on edge, an entire world was a massive responsibility. Pouting, she crossed her arms over her chest and turned to the huge window that made up most of one wall. The night sky looked so different, the few constellations she could see through the haze of street lights were foreign to her. Yet somehow there were still constellations, formed naturally rather than with magic. “Yeah, that makes sense...Must be rough, just...waiting for the next big thing to happen.”
“To be honest... I've been waiting for everything to go wrong since Princess Twilight pulled me out of that crater...” Sunset muttered, only to jump slightly as she realised what she had said. “Wow...has it really been that long?” Sighing heavily, she began to massage her temples. The relief was only physical, whatever tension she was still holding in her spirit remained anchored to her. A gentle, warm pressure on her leg caused her to look down. Not really knowing what to say, Starlight had placed a hand on Sunset's knee. Forcing a small smile, Sunset lowered her hands. “Sorry, It's only the first day and I'm already turning this trip into a downer for you. I'm sorry.”
Starlight merely shrugged, removing her hand and using it to toss her hair back over her shoulder. “It's not that bad. A lot better than going completely stir crazy in Twilight's library again. I've read all the books that interest me...now I'm just down to counting them whenever the castle's empty.”
“I imagine it's pretty annoying, being left behind all the time...” Sunset mused, shaking her head. Being alone in a huge castle brought back memories, though she had been isolated for a different reason. She tried to push the thought to the side, her features momentarily straining with effort. “I guess that's why you jumped at the chance to come here?”
Momentarily oblivious, Starlight shrugged again. “In a way yeah. It's not so bad, and I do like my own company from time to time but...I guess you could say I jumped at the moment when it came to me.” She grinned, a quiver of excitement running down her spine. “I also couldn't really pass up the opportunity to see a whole new world. This place is amazing. Once you get over the weird limbs and lack of magic thing.”
While Starlight gave her wrists a disdainful flick, Sunset nodded. “Yeah, it is pretty weird at first. That was the first thing I missed. My magic. I was always proud of it, though I don't think I could have held my own in a magic duel with an alicorn without any formal training.” Her lips twitched into a small grin, which widened when Starlight's chest puffed out proudly. After a completely irresistible tap to her friend's stomach, which caused Starlight to jerk forwards and glare at her, Sunset continued. “Then it was other things. My hooves, my mane, my tail...just the familiarity of it all. After I got over the initial excitement, I started getting homesick.”
Becoming pensive, she leaned back in the sofa and looked upwards. Her ceiling was high, almost cavernous. When she had first scouted for a place, it had been the last thing from her mind. She had just needed it to be affordable. After her true colours had been revealed the school's library had no longer seemed hospitable to her. Yet as soon as she had felt that ceiling looming high above her, she knew she had found her place. “Everything was so different, yet in the same way, it wasn't. Even back then there were just as many similarities as differences. It was, weird.”
“Yeah, that doesn't sound too appealing,” Starlight said softly, letting her voice fade into the stillness. A small, self-deprecating smirk tugged at her lips. “I admit, without you there I think I might have just run back into the portal as soon as I realised I had no magic.”
A chill washed over Sunset, causing her to shiver briefly. She stood, trance-like, and walked into the middle of the room. “To be honest...I might have done the same...If I'd had a home to go back to. But I didn't, not after...”
“What you did?” Starlight finished in a whisper when Sunset's voice faded into the air. A jolt ran up Sunset's spine and she whirled around suddenly. Only then did she realise what she had just blurted out. Her thoughts had just taken over, saying that aloud was the last thing on her mind.
Having taken the bull by the horns, Starlight let her eyes drift closed. She was about to enter deep water, with no sign of a raft. The old Starlight would have been too wrapped up in her own importance to care, the current one found the situation impossible to walk away from. “You've never forgiven yourself have you?” Lifting her head, she smiled towards Sunset, a sad, all too knowing smile. “Not really.”
Sunset said nothing, which confirmed Starlight's suspicion. Her smile widened slightly and she pointed an accusatory finger at Sunset. “Yeah, it's easy to see.” Tilting her head and pursing her lips, Starlight reconsidered her words. “Well, easy enough for someone who's been thro- is going through the same thing. It's just like looking in the mirror every morning.”
Letting out a quiet sigh, Sunset leaned against her wall and folded her arms. She attempted a smirk, but it came out as more of a grimace. “You are good. First me, then Juniper and now me again. Twilight's teaching you well.”
Adamantly, Starlight shook her head, keeping her eyes lowered towards the ground. “No, I'm just...well traveled in this circle is all. Been there done that, still doing it. It's a hard habit to break but an easy one to pick up on when you're in the know.” A scowl broke through her features and she began to grip her knees until her hands threatened to cramp. Catching herself, she exhaled softly and forced herself to relax. “It's an easy trap. You worry about one thing for so long and no matter how much you try-”
“-It never goes away and just makes everything else worse?” Sunset continued, sliding down the wall and landing in a melancholic heap on the floor. Turning her head away from Starlight, she sighed and closed her eyes. “I just don't know how to talk about it. It's been so long-”
“-that not talking about it just feels...normal.” Standing, Starlight walked over to where Sunset was sitting against the wall. She had planned to settle down next to the other girl, to at least attempt to comfort her, but instead, ended up misjudging the distance to the ground and losing her balance. She toppled backward, landing flat on her back with her arms and hair splayed out over the floor. Somewhere along the descent her beret had fallen off and ended up beneath the sofa where she had started. “Umm...oops?” she tried, smirking sheepishly at the ceiling.
Rendered speechless for several moments, Sunset could only stare. Her eyes were glued to the scene before her, a lilac skinned girl flat on her back with legs still flailing in the air. It was so...absurd. What started as a quiet titter was soon a bout of uproarious laughter that had her clutching her sides.
Eventually, Starlight was able to right herself. She heaved herself into a sitting position, breathing heavily from the exertion. Wiping the back of a hand across her brow, she turned towards Sunset, cheeks slightly flushed. The fiery haired girl was still laughing. It took her several moments for her to bring herself back to level. Starlight's lips curled upwards slightly and she said softly, “You've been holding that in a while haven't you?”
Instantly sobering up, Sunset dipped her green eyes downwards. Though it was out of her view, she could feel the geode on her neck. After the elation of finally having control over some sort of magic again, it had begun to feel like a lead weight from the multitude of questions attached to it. She felt Starlight once again lay a hand on her, this time the warm weight rested on her shoulder. Biting her lip, she looked up and met the burning sapphire eyes with her own. “Yeah, I guess I have...” she muttered sombrely, leaning back against the wall. “I guess... it's just a relief to finally be able to tell someone that no, everything isn't actually okay... Even if I can't tell them why.”
“Tell me about it... I know exactly how that feels,” Starlight admitted, trying to find a comfortable sitting position on the floor. In the end, she settled with kneeling down and resting on her ankles. “It's difficult to be okay in the moment and just let everything go by when it's the past that keeps dragging you down.”
Sunset stiffened, eyes widening and pupils shrinking rapidly. Starlight nodded sadly, having suspected as much. Leaning forwards slightly she pressed her hands into the floor. Sunset's carpet was cheap and thin but compared to solid crystal it was absolutely luxurious. “I've been there, actually I'm still there for the most part. One way or another, the past comes back to bite us...whether it's ponies, and dragons, constantly bringing it up or it's our own fears pulling us down and stopping us from moving on. Am I correct?”
The fiery haired girl nodded slowly, not surprised that Starlight was continuing to hit the mark. With the dam now broken wide open, it was just a simple matter of poking away at the broken edges until everything had flooded out. “Yeah, I've sorta gotten used to everyone bringing it up but...they don't know the full story. They don't...bring up the part that really hurts.” She laughed again, but this one lacked any form of humour. “That's probably the only reason I've been able to keep it hidden this long.” Defeated, Sunset sagged into her floor, arms falling uselessly to her sides. Turning on her side, she curled her knees into her chest while keeping her face away from Starlight. “How do you deal with it?”
“My past?” Starlight tilted her head upwards to stare at the ceiling, pondering the question. “Day by day. Living in the moment, as I said. It's... hard but I'm able to do it most of the time...The less you think about it the less it hurts.” She shuddered and blinked to clear the haze beginning to cloud her eyes. “There have been days where I'd lock myself in my room and hate myself, but they've become-” she twisted her hand in a circle and made a disgusted noise. “-less frequent.”
Sunset swallowed, feeling torn two ways. Part of her wanted to try and say something, to end the conversation that was tearing away at them both. The stronger part of her held off. Perhaps it was selfish of her but she was so close, so close to being able to break her own self-imposed silence.
Before she knew it, she was trembling uncontrollably. She curled her knees upwards and hugged them into her chest. That helped alleviate the trembling but caused her heartbeat to thump rapidly into her thighs. The blasted organ, it hurt...just as it had on her first day in the human world. In the past, she had been able to brush it off, or at least quietly deal with the surge of sickness that turned her stomach. Not this time. This time, she could feel herself bursting. Maybe she really had finally worn down to nothing, maybe she was just at her limit or maybe she held the faint hope that finally, someone could help.
“I want to go home...” she finally mumbled into her knee, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes.
Starlight stared at Sunset, concern etched into every line on her brow. No matter how much she tried, in the end, she had to concede. “Sorry, I...I didn't catch that.”
“I want to go home...” Sunset repeated, lifting her head slightly so she would be audible. “I need to talk to her...”
“Talk to her? Who?” Starlight asked, shifting a little closer. She was just able to stop herself from falling over again.
A sound almost like a whimper escaped Sunset. It took several moments for anything substantial to escape her, throughout which she could feel Starlight gently rubbing the back of her neck,“Princess Celestia...” she was finally able to choke out.
“Oh...” Starlight muttered, silently berating herself. After everything she had learned, that should have been obvious. “Well, why don't you? The portal is right there and I'm sure everyone here would understand.”
Starlight reeled back slightly when Sunset snorted bitterly, clearly unimpressed by her suggestion. “You make it sound simple,” she growled before her voice fizzled back to a shaky whimper. “It's...really not.” Shaking her head, she buried her face back into her knees, wanting to shut out the inside world as she finally poured her soul out into it. “It isn't. Even if I did walk all the way to Canterlot, I'm banished from the castle. Banished! Do you know how crazy bad that is? For the wisest and most forgiving pony in the whole kingdom, to banish someone from the castle, or just about anywhere? It's practically unheard of.” Her knuckles had turned white by this point but the grip she maintained on her knees only tightened. Now that they had actually broached the subject, she felt unable to stop, though also felt no better.
Starlight chewed on her lip. While she did not know Celestia personally the solar princess had been nothing but amicable, despite her past misdeeds. Whatever had happened with Sunset... could honestly not have been any worse than what she herself had pulled off. Messing with time was a serious offense, if Sunset's banishment had been years ago, then maybe...
“Maybe...Maybe the banishment is over? It has been a while and umm...well...I guess it can't hurt.”
Her face fell immediately at Sunset's response. “I don't quite think you understand the gravity of the situation.” Slowly Sunset lowered her knees, crossing them into a sort of basket. It made her easier to read but personally, Starlight thought the position looked painful to maintain. After letting out another mirthless laugh, Sunset fell silent. She grappled with whether it was a good idea to continue. Starlight had been an island in a storm, even after only a few hours, helping Sunset breach a barrier that no one else had. That was what ultimately fuelled her decision if she truly had a choice and was not simply splurging her emotions uncontrollably at this point. “The things I did... The things I said...I don't know if anyone could ever forgive me for them. I can't even forgive myself. I took her trust and shattered it into so many pieces... The things I did in this world...were just the tip of the iceberg.”
“I see...” Starlight muttered, falling deep into thought. Her insides were protesting violently, telling her over and over how deep she was getting. This was bigger than she had first presumed, it was personal. Wordlessly, she stood and walked over to the window. Sunset kept her gaze glued forwards, meaning Starlight quickly left her field of vision. Staring at her faint reflection in the glass, Starlight already saw uncertainty beginning to taint her sapphire eyes. Blinking did nothing to remove the stain, causing her to have to suppress a sigh. It was the way of things for her, always taking a bold step forward only to be forced two steps back in a completely different direction.
Nevertheless, after a moment of hesitation, Starlight forged onwards. It was time to actually repay her debts, to Twilight and everyone else, by not allowing a friend in need to go unaided. Whether her attempts would crash and burn, she at least had to try. Being afraid of failure would only lead to more self-loathing, as she missed every opportunity that passed her by. Even if she had to take three steps back, all that meant was she had to take an even bigger leap forward next time.
“Can it really hurt to try though?” Starlight asked quietly, letting her words float across the room. “What we don't know can often hurt more than what we know. It can be...painful.” She turned around, gripping her elbows and trying to make herself as small as possible. All she had right now were her experiences. Whether they would help or not, she felt that sharing them was better than simply giving up.
“I always wondered why Twilight insisted that I reconcile with my village after so little time and that one of my first friendship lessons should be reuniting with Sunburst. It always felt so...odd. Logically I thought that they were both things I should only do after I'd become a better pony but Twilight knew better, as always.” Sunset looked up, seeing that Starlight's eyes had misted over. The unicorn was somewhere else, talking more to herself than Sunset. Nevertheless, the fiery headed girl found herself hanging on to every word. She had heard the story but only from Twilight's point of view. Hearing it from Starlight, was almost like listening to her own inner self. Every word hit home, she felt them as they buried deep within her.
“I'd been horrible to the ponies in my village... I'd taken away everything that made them special. Whether they thought they wanted it or not, I had no right to manipulate them like that. I was sure that they would turn me away, or worse...” She let out a weak, self-depreciating chuckle as she remembered the many twisted machinations her mind had formed when gripped in the throes of dread. In hindsight, it seemed so over the top, even stupid, but at the time everything had been real. It had been real to her, something neither Twilight or Spike could ever truly comprehend.
“Sunburst was a little different. He was the entire reason I went on my crusade, the reason I turned cold and bitter. I had done nothing to him but I was still scared, Scared that I would hurt him now, that he would hate me for what I did. I feared his judgment even after all those years and I feared what it would do to me. Would I have turned back to stone, or would I just crumble, becoming useless to everyone?”
The tears that had glistened in Starlight's eyes throughout her speech suddenly vanished, leaving Sunset astonished by the transformation. Now smiling freely, Starlight unfolded her arms and moved away from the wall's support. “It turned out okay. It all did. Every fear I'd been keeping bottled up within myself just went away. I'd been about to split open and suddenly it was all just gone.” She giggled lightly, suffused with the same relief she had felt when she and Sunburst had finally summoned the strength to release their secrets. “But the funny thing is. Even if it had turned out for the worst...I know, deep down, that it would have been better to know than let the doubt and worry continue to fester. That's why Twilight did what she did. So that I'd be able to forgive myself and move on. So that... So that I'd actually have a chance to become the better pony that she knew I could be.”
Looking over at Sunset, she gently tapped her temple with two fingers. “Trust me Sunset. Nothing that will feasibly happen can match to what you'll imagine...what you've probably already imagined. Up here, is a lot worse than what's out there.”
Speechless, Sunset merely stared dumbly into space, slowly digesting every word she had just heard. She lowered her head, letting her hair once more obscure her eyes. Starlight hung back, allowing Sunset the time to privately come to terms with her own head. Only after several minutes had passed did she quietly whisper. “It's natural to be scared. Believe me, I was absolutely terrified, but if you constantly shy away and lock yourself up...nothing ever improves.”
That clinched it and something kindled deep within Sunset. She quietly pushed herself to her feet and walked over to Starlight. The lilac skinned girl tensed slightly, it was entirely possible that she was about to be punched in the face. Instead, Sunset threw her arms around Starlight's neck and pulled her into a crushing hug, one she had desperately needed for a long, long time. For several moments Starlight stood completely still until she finally brought her arms up and gently rubbed Sunset's back.
With her face buried in Starlight's shoulder, Sunset whimpered out weakly. “H-Help me.”
Starlight answered on instinct, driven by impulse. This time, thankfully, she knew with utmost certainty that her gut had not failed her. As she held the brunt of Sunset's weight in her unsteady arms, she set her features into a determined stare and nodded. “Sure... I'll do what I can.”
Not long after, Starlight found herself putting Sunset to bed. Despite the other girls numerous mumbled protests, she had insisted that she would be fine on the couch. Now, as she laid there, clad in a spare set of Sunset's pyjamas because apparently, humans were fickle about clothing even in the privacy of sleep, her body refused to succumb to that state. The task ahead was seared into her veins, causing her blood to boil and her nerves to twitch.
Heaving herself into a sitting position, Starlight tugged on her pyjama top. The red and yellow sun mark blazed brightly over her rapidly pounding heart, bringing the whole dilemma into a much more dire perspective. This was about more than just a friendship lesson, or her own growth. If she made even a single blunder, then it was possible, likely even, that Sunset would never truly recover. Perhaps she had been foolish to blunder into this alone but after witnessing Sunset's distress she was assured there had been no other course of action. Also, she did not have to stay alone. She just had to swallow her pride and reach out for help. Fortunately, she knew exactly where she could get it.
Stealing into Sunset's room was easy, at least compared to the Canterlot Archives. Even her cumbersome grasp of her new limbs and lack of magic could not make the task more than trivial Finding the journal in the dark was the hard part. More than once she bashed her hands against something hard, like the rickety old dresser or even Sunset's bed. The first time she had been unable to stop her gasp and Sunset had shifted in her sleep. After several moments of listening to the blood pulsing in her ears, everything had returned to stillness and Starlight had gotten back to work.
She found the journal in Sunset's schoolbag. Why she had not checked their first, she did not know. It did not matter, she had the journal, a pen and just in case, a torch. Maintaining her cloak of stealth, she slipped downstairs to the living room. Of course, Sunset would learn of her deed in the morning but in this case, she reasoned that it was better to ask forgiveness than permission.
Settled down on the sofa, she opened the journal to the first empty page. It was the middle of the night, she would have to hope Twilight had gotten carried away with studying again. The odds were in her favour but luck rarely seemed to be on her side. Putting pen to paper, she began the task of writing, with the torch and moon to light her way.
Hi Twilight, it's Starlight. I'm using Sunset's journal, obviously. I'm sorry to contact you so late at night but I really need your help. Something's happened and I really don't know how to deal with it. If you're there, get back to me as soon as you can. Please.
With her message composed, she leaned back on the sofa and tried to soothe her overworked nerves. There were a thousand ways this situation could spiral south, at least. There were just as many ways she could potentially mess it up. The only glimmer of hope she could see was that her over-reliance on magic would most likely not be a factor. She would just have to make sure and resist any urge, even the tiniest one, to enchant either Sunset or Princess Celestia, no matter how good an idea it seemed in the moment. Rather than make her feel better, the entire line of thought made her feel ready to lose the copious amounts of popcorn she had eaten at the premiere. It reminded her of how woefully ill-equipped to deal with this she was. Slumping downwards in her seat, she released a shaky breath. If Twilight did not return her message...
A loud buzzing caused her to sit bolt upright, almost out of her skin. She was barely able to avoid yelling in shock, using one of her hands to muffle the squeak that did manage to weasel its way past her lips. Her breathing was both rapid and shallow as she looked down to see that the journal had come to life in her lap. The heavy book was vibrating rapidly and a harsh glow emanated from it, illuminating the entire open walled apartment. With slightly trembling hands, she pulled it open. Under her message, another had appeared. Relief almost made her drop the heavy tome to the ground. Tightening her grip, she leaned in to read. The dim light of the torch forced her to squint.
Starlight? This is a surprise. Is everything alright? You aren't hurt, are you? Are the girls okay? Do you need me to come through the mirror?
Starlight gulped. Maybe she should have phrased her message a little differently. Twilight's panic was practically bleeding through the ink. Taking a deep breath, she made her first priority ensuring that Twilight did not come bursting through the mirror in a blind panic. That would complicate matters to no end.
No, Everything's fine. Just about anyway. There's no need to panic. I just need a little advice if it isn't too much trouble.
The next response was noticeably neater, reverting back to Twilight's usual perfectly formed, if a little bland, lettering. “It's important to make your writing readable for everypony, no matter what...” she would often say, which would have Starlight rolling her eyes. She was always in too much of a rush to be neat. As long as she was able to read it, that was fine for her. Writing without a horn had worsened the problem immensely. She just had to hope Twilight could decipher the broken squiggles that were trying to pass off as letters on her page. Thankfully, it seemed the alicorn could
Of course, I'll help if I'm able to. Though, I do have to ask...does Sunset know you're using her journal? Also, what are you writing with? Hands or mouth? Your writing is a little, hard to decipher. More so than usual I mean.
The audible smack of Starlight's hand slamming against her face caused her to wince for two reasons. The first was abated quickly when no sound came from Sunset's bedroom, while the second reason was more simple, it stung. Wringing her hands for several seconds gradually alleviated the tingling in her fingers, while her head cooled on its own. A little more forcibly than was necessary, she penned down her reply.
No, Sunset has no idea. She'll find out eventually but...in this case it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I know I don't have the best track record but please Twilight, trust me on this. You'll know what I mean when I explain.
P. S. Mouth, I have no idea how to use these weird things for more than grabbing or holding.
This time, she reopened the journal the moment it began to activate, minimising the disturbance it spewed into the still night. The response read as such.
Alright. I trust you. Go for it, but try using your hands. It's actually a lot easier.
Taken aback by the suggestion, Starlight glowered at the aforementioned instruments and spat the pen out into them. Slowly, she curled her fingers around the smooth cylinder and tried to get a comfortable grip. After several minutes of fiddling, she finally managed to get something akin to decent hold on the pen and tried writing. It was easier, but it was still comparable to trying to etch into stone with a spoon. She really needed her magic back.
Okay. Do you remember the times when you-
She paused to think of a word that did not sound resentful. The experience had been necessary, if much more than her, at the time, fragile confidence had been comfortable with.
-coerced me to reconcile with my village and reunite with Sunburst? Rhetorical question, you were there. Anyway, I think I've managed to stumble onto something Sunset's been keeping close to the chest. She wants to reconcile with Princess Celestia and I think, or hope, I've been able to convince her that it's a good idea. But, I have absolutely no idea what to do now. Any advice?
Unlike the previous replies, this one was preceded by a long delay. After almost twenty minutes of tugging at her hair, tapping her fingers and generally being stressed and impatient, Starlight had been about to repeat her message when the book sprang to life. She opened it, expecting to have to an essay of ramblings. Instead, what greeted her was far more perplexing.
Oh...wow.
Dumbfounded, Starlight stared at the two words, almost losing her grip on the pen. “Seriously?” she snorted, readjusting her hold and scribbling down her annoyance.
Twilight? That's about as helpful as a broken horn! What's going on?
Back at the castle of friendship, Twilight picked up her large, snowy white swan feather quill. Disbelief was still etched across her face. Her student had managed to pull off in a day what she had been subtly, and at times not so subtly, been trying for months. It had stumped her, being the catalyst for more than one sleepless night. Yet, after only a day, Starlight had managed to convince Sunset to finally put the past behind her. Wiping the solitary tear of pride that had started to slide down her cheek, she drafted a reply. Though not before chuckling at the obvious irritation radiating from Starlight's message.
Sorry, I just...admittedly I can't believe how quickly you managed what you did. I've been looking for a way to convince Sunset to mend that bridge for a long time. Yet here you are, after a single day. I'm proud of you.
Reading the last four words over and over again, Starlight felt her gut twist. “Yeah, no pressure or anything...” Tearing her eyes away from the small phrase, she started reading the next message. Finally, it was what she actually wanted. Sometimes Twilight spent way too long getting to the point.
As for advice. Well, you've already gotten this far. You and Sunset are similar, so work off that. I know checklists aren't your thing but a little preparation can go a long way. It doesn't help all of the time of course, which I can't believe I'm saying. The best thing to do would just keep her motivated. You know what it's like to go through with this, better than I do actually.
Starlight chuckled slightly, shaking her head and tapping the pen against her chin. “I don't think I'll be doing the checklists...or maybe I will. I just won't let Sunset see.” Deciding not to let herself get suckered into a conversation about checklists, Starlight started to write underneath Twilight's message. The night rolled on, with the pair scribbling back and forth. Starlight began to hate her hands all the more, they cramped barely two hours in and demanded some maintenance. Regardless, between the barriers of two worlds, a plan was formed.
Author's Note
Ugh, this one took forever to get out. I've got most of the rest already written, I'm just having trouble with the last few bits. I decided to put this up though since the story became far longer than I originally intended. Too long for a single chapter. The rest should be up within the next day or two at the most, I have the rest basically finished. I hope you all enjoy. Sorry that I've been gone so long, things got in the way. Hopefully, this will be the end of my impromptu hiatus and I can get to other things. Thank you all for your patience. Have a nice day!

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                    Battling the Storm                     
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Battling the Storm
A blinding ray of sunlight blazed through the huge window that covered most of Sunset's wall and found its mark on her cheek. This was her standard wake up call, being roused by the persistent prodding of the morning sun. It was immune to protest and always got her up eventually. After a long stretch of her arms, she slipped out of bed and stretched her legs. Her night had been more restful than expected, something she attributed to the decidedly eventful day. The next few attempts at sleep would likely be worse; much worse if the crushing weight that had already started to descend upon her shoulders was any indication. Sighing softly, she stepped out of her room and made the trip downstairs to check on Starlight. Admittedly, part of her wanted to bear witness to whatever crazy, pseudo equestrian sleeping position the pony had adopted. It would give her a dose of merriment she direly needed.
She found her fellow unicorn still asleep and though her position was more subdued than she had expected, Sunset found herself blinking rapidly. The lilac skinned girl was sitting with her head tilted onto her shoulder, arms resting on a large, familiar book. A feebly blinking torch had tumbled to the floor at her feet and a pen nestled snugly in one of her hands. Gently, Sunset pried the journal away from her grasp. Cradling the book in one arm, she slowly pulled it open. The subject was obvious to her before she read the first word, what struck her was the volume. Over twenty pages had been filled throughout the night, passing between two different hands. One she recognised as Twilight's hornwriting, the other was obviously Starlight's attempt at writing without her magic.
A light whimper drew her attention, drawing Sunset's eye downwards. Before her pyjamas were laced with the rambles of a dreaming equestrian, Sunset carefully teased the pen from Starlight's dancing fingers.
“You're both crazy, you know that?” she whispered to the sleeping unicorn. Sunset then rose back to her full height, clutching the new journal to her chest. Taking great care not to wake her guest, she retreated back upstairs to her sanctum.
After tossing the journal onto her bed, she began her morning routine of washing and dressing. It took her far longer than was necessary. All the while she stole periodic glances at the now closed journal, trying to muster the courage to reopen it for more than a quick skim. Eventually, she groaned and forcefully swiped it off her bed. “I am not going to be scared of my own journal!” Fuelled by her irritation, she swung the front cover to the side and laid the contents bare. Her eyes darted back and forth at first, only to slow as she moved further along.
When her journey through the planning and ramblings of her two friends reached its conclusion, Sunset closed the pages and roughly wiped her eyes. “Wow...that was, a lot to read...” she muttered, forcing the words through her constricted throat. “Maybe...maybe I should have just, talked about this earlier. I had no idea it meant that much to Twilight...” She sighed and shook her head. “I guess there's a lot I still don't know...”
She stayed motionless on her bed, lost in her own thoughts, until her empty stomach drove her down to the kitchen. Butterflies were hardly filling, though they did limit her options. In the end she settled on toast, it was easiest to digest and the smell would hopefully entice her feeble appetite.
Not willing to risk turning on the TV, she ate in silence and let her eyes wander. Eventually, they fell on Starlight's sleeping form and stayed there. The equestrian's eyelashes fluttered slightly and her limbs twitched constantly. Without the pen in her grip, her subconscious had reverted to wielding her appendages as hooves.
“Wonder if that's how I look sometimes...” Sunset asked noone, musing over the thought for a moment before trying to go back to her toast. She was interrupted by another soft whimper, followed by a selection of murmurings that buzzed around in her ears. For a long time, she tried to keep to herself but the disturbances only worsened. Curious, and a little concerned, she cautiously made her way over to Starlight. Only when she was right next to Starlight did the ramblings begin to unravel.
“Can't fail... need to...not ready for this.” Starlight's eyelashes fluttered rapidly as her eyes rolled behind their lids. “Need to...try...Can't fail...”
The ramblings continued, disjointed yet with clear meaning. Kneeling down, Sunset carefully took Starlight's hands in her own. She cupped them firmly to try and ease the ceaseless twitching. As Starlight's body once again went limp, Sunset found herself glad she had yet to don her geode. Her own dreams were agonising enough, bearing the burden of another's was something she never wanted to experience. Especially a nightmare she had inflicted upon someone. Eventually, Starlight's face returned to peaceful repose, though Sunset did not immediately remove her hands.
Midday was fast approaching when Starlight's eyelashes started to flutter. A low moan passed across her lips as she started to push into the waking world. With leaden limbs she wiped the sleep from her eyes and forced them open. Her surroundings took a moment to come into focus; her memories of last night followed soon after. Wakefulness shot through her suddenly and she leapt to her feet.
Two steady hands caught her while she wobbled perilously on a smaller number of limbs than she was used to waking up to. “T-thanks,” she chortled, regaining her balance with a final wobble. “I'm guessing you already found the journal?”
“Yeah, I did.” Sunset replied from behind her. Once she was sure Starlight was steady, she pulled away and scratched at her neck awkwardly. “It was...an enlightening read...once I got past your handwriting.” The last part she said with an obvious smirk.
A snort escaped Starlight and she folded her arms. “I'd like to see some of your first attempts.” Grumbling, she sat back down on the sofa, maintaining her grumpy air. It lasted merely seconds before the scowl turned into a serious expression. “Do you agree with my suggestion?”
“To do it today?” Sunset asked quickly, already knowing the answer. Starlight nodded anyway, prompting a shudder of foreboding to rattle Sunset's spine. She was silent for a moment, then dipped her head. “Yeah... It'll save me any sleepless nights I guess.”
“Better to do it before the nerves really start to settle in.” She felt her own spine tremble as she thought back to her own nightmares. “Do you want to write to Twilight or will I?” Starlight inclined her head up to Sunset's bedroom, where she assumed the journal was now.
“Uh...I'll do it,” Sunset replied, though she did not follow Starlight's gaze. Instead, she kept her eyes firmly on Starlight, examining her for any hints that the nightmare was creeping into her waking world.
“You've got that... I heard something face.” Starlight's voice shattered Sunset's thoughts before she could get a proper hold on them. “I'm guessing I was dreaming?” she asked, feigning innocence. Her face was completely impassive, deflecting Sunset's attempts at probing. “What'd I say?”
Taken aback, Sunset answered before she had really constructed what she wanted to say. “Uh...something about not wanting to fail.” Her expression softened and was just about to release Starlight from her obligation when she was once again cut off.
An imperceptible tightening of her jaw was the only clue Starlight gave of her discomfort before she masked it with a laugh. “Oh...that one...Yeah, I really did not like failing tests when I was younger. My...” her face adopted an all too genuine frown. “-mother had this annoying habit of dropping mock quizzes on me at every opportunity. To the point where I still have nightmares about it... It's nothing, honest.”
Feeling a little slack, Sunset just nodded. She was far too done for any of this and instead went up to get the journal. Starlight watched her go, a twinge of regret colouring her already sour mood. It was for Sunset's own good that she focus on herself for now but lying so blatantly felt disconcerting after all the honesty of last night. Resigning herself to the fact that she was still reliant on her old ways, Starlight cast a scathing look at the pile of clothing she had discarded last night. Now, she had to remember where everything had been...
Staring at her reflection in the portal, Sunset's resolve wavered briefly. Even with her friends surrounding her and Starlight at her shoulder, she could feel her knees shaking. Any more and they wouldn't be able to support her weight. Just as she was contemplating turning back and never looking at the portal again, she felt a gentle pressure on the small of her back. It did nothing to actually move her physically but the message was clear. Taking a deep breath to ease herself, and provoke a bit of luck, Sunset stepped forwards.
After being whirled around and twisted inside what felt like a spatial tumble dryer, both ponies were spat out into a familiar library. Sunset landed in another pile of books, something Spike would lament later, while Starlight crashed headlong into a table. Head still spinning, Sunset got to her hooves, all four of them this time and tried to look around. She could just about make out two of the purple alicorn standing in front of her.
“Okay...this time it's Princess Twilight...” she groaned out, rubbing her aching head as the alicorn smiled softly at her.
“Yeah...because I'm over here...” she heard Starlight grumble from somewhere off to her left. “Twilight, why does your mirror use ponies as cannonballs, and only on this side?”
Twilight blinked, looking back and forth between two very disorientated unicorns “Umm...well I guess it's because the stabiliser is getting a little loose. I'll have a look at it soon.” Then, she turned her full attention to Sunset. They met each other's gazes a little awkwardly, with Twilight crossing her front hooves. “Uh...hey,” she tried, not sure how to approach their impromptu meeting.
“Hi Princess Twilight,” Sunset greeted, squirming slightly to try and alleviate the knot in her stomach. The alicorn's journal messages flashed behind her eyes. “Nice to see you again. It's been a while.”
“Too long,” Twilight agreed, smiling warmly as she moved forward to hug the unicorn. “And you know it's just Twilight. Between me and my friends it's always just Twilight.”
Sunset's lips played into a subtle smirk as she wrapped a hoof around Twilight's shoulder. “Yeah, but when there's two Twilight Sparkles I have to think of some way to differentiate you both.”
Twilight's mouth formed an almost perfect circle. She pulled back from the hug, visibly digesting a phrase she certainly did not hear every day. “Huh, I never thought of that to be honest. Having two of me running around is still a little weird.”
“That's what I said,” Starlight interjected, nimbly alighting from the table. Biting her lip, she tried to discern the best time to hurry things along. After all, Spike had allowed her to delay at least a little bit, albeit through a splattering of self indulgence. In truth, she herself was hesitant to continue. Everything was still churning around inside her, like a jigsaw puzzle she had yet to solve. If she screwed this up then Twilight would not have the time to kick her out before she walked herself. Nevertheless, her previous words still rung true. Holding things off would only make everything worse.
She stepped forward and swallowed down the iron ball that had formed in her throat so she could speak. She kept her tone gentle and compassionate but left absolutely no room for manoeuvrer. “Okay, well I think we should get going, there's a lot to do.” Her old skills were good for something at least, as both Sunset and Twilight snapped to attention. Maybe a little too quickly, it was eerily similar to...she pushed the comparison aside. That was not who she was, not any more. “Sooner it gets done, the less time you spend tearing yourself to pieces...and yes I'm speaking from experience here.”
The knot in Sunset's stomach returned full force but still she nodded determinedly. This was the best chance she was going to get, if she backed out now then she would never ever come back to Equestria, whether she was able to or not.
Neither unicorn noticed Twilight taking several steps back, until the alicorn spoke up. “The train leaves pretty soon. You should get going.”
“You aren't coming?” Sunset asked, eyes widening with surprise. She had expected Twilight to insist and had found herself less adverse to that idea than before. Despite that, the sudden development was welcoming. A knot loosened in her stomach. As much as she respected Twilight, that same respect sowed the seeds for a field of pressure whenever the alicorn was around. Particularly,when she actually looked like an alicorn.
With a peaceful shake of her head, Twilight explained, “I think this is just something you both have to do yourselves. You have the new journal if anything goes awry but...” she paused and smiled knowingly, making sure to catch Starlight's eye. The unicorn blinked back in response, keeping her expression neutral. “I'm sure it'll be fine. Good luck.”
It was tempting for Starlight to point out that wishing one luck after assuring them all would be fine was basically pointless. She held her tongue, not wanting to waste her energy. She needed everything if she was going to succeed here. Twilight knew something that neither of them was privy to but was electing not to share it. If Starlight were to guess why, it was for Sunset's benefit, to prevent an even more crushing outcome on even the slight chance that she was wrong. Whether Twilight knew what she was doing or not, it made Starlight no less uneasy because basically, she was still running blind.
Pushing aside her doubts, only to find them cemented in place, she cleared her throat. “C'mon then Sunset. Let's do this.” She hoped that her attempt at confidence worked.
“Yeah, let's. We'll see you later Twilight...I hope.” Markedly less interested in hiding her distress, she started hesitantly towards the door.
Starlight watched her leave, her breathing starting to quicken. She, really...really had to fix this. Turning to Twilight, she opened her mouth. Before she could get a single sound out, Twilight's hoof pressed against her muzzle and silenced her. “Shh...you can do this. I know you can.”
It helped, only marginally but it helped. Exhaling, Starlight nodded and quietly left the room. When the door shut behind her, Twilight turned to the portal. “I think I should get a start on making any return trips a lot easier from now on,” Humming a merry tune, she got to work.
The only train cart that had enough space for two was still relatively crowded, forcing them to sit uncomfortably close together. Sunset spent the entire journey staring at the floor, making herself as small as possible. Starlight took the window seat, letting dread fill her as she watched Canterlot draw ever nearer. It was a stupid thing to do but her eyes were glued to the impending doom. Even with Twilight's bolstering confidence, by the time they stepped onto the platform she thought her legs would fail her. “Well...we're here,” she said uselessly, unable to bear the heavy silence any longer.
Finally raising her head, Sunset flicked her eyes back and forth. Almost immediately, she dipped her gaze downwards, not wanting to look at the castle, now that it was looming above her. “Yeah, hasn't changed much...” She swallowed and turned towards her companion. “So...we getting this over with?”
“That's the best course of action, yes,” Starlight answered, projecting an assured air. Whatever panic she was currently going through was certainly a trickle compared to Sunset's river of boiling dread.
Pressing her shoulder against Sunset's, she quietly began to steer them out of the hustle and bustle of the train station and towards the quieter, more organised streets. Sunset, for the most part, was lost in her thoughts, playing out every scenario she could think of. Canterlot had remained mostly stale but there was no telling how much Celestia herself had changed. Whether she had or had not, Sunset did not know which held more favourable outcomes.
She was broken from her musings when Starlight halted abruptly beside her. Without even realising it, she had walked all the way to the huge front gates. Swallowing, she took several steps backwards, eyes widening as she stared up at the intimidating structures. They made her feel even smaller, taunted her to run and hide. She was too weak to do this, she still had not changed enough.
Piercing through the veil of her doubt, she heard Starlight's call. “Sunset.” The voice was accompanied by a soft shaking of her shoulders.
“H-Huh...” Sunset whimpered, pulling away and giving her head a shake. The cobwebs cleared and Starlight came into clarity. She was concerned, yet it was painfully obvious she was still out of her element. Sheepishly, Sunset averted her eyes. “Sorry...I just, got a little overwhelmed. I still...can't believe I'm back here, after all this time.”
Nodding, Starlight walked forward. Carefully cupping Sunset's chin with her hoof, she forced their eyes to meet. “It's fine. I know it can suck right at the precipice when you know it's the point of no return.” Her ears folded back against her head and her tail twitched nervously. She knew what she was about to do was risky but could not in good conscience not do it. “Twilight, and Spike, sorta forced me into it. I never really felt like I had a choice in the matter.” The memory left a bitter taste in her mouth, filling her with tired disdain. “Like I said, it worked out better in the end but I've always felt...violated. As if, it should have been my decision, my mistake to fix.”
Sunset gulped, not sure she liked where the conversation was going. The smile Starlight gave her helped allay her fears slightly. “I'm not gonna make you do this alone...but I am gonna ask. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? This is the last time I'm going to ask. If you say yes now then I'll drag you back again and again if I have to.” Raising a hoof, she crossed it across her chest. “But...if you say no now, then we'll turn back and I'll never bring it up again. If you want my help or Twilight's in the future, then yeah, we'll give it...but neither of us will ever be the first to bring it up.” A dark look flashed across her face briefly and Sunset saw, for that moment, the mare that would bend time to achieve her dreams. “I'll make sure of it.”
Deep within herself, Sunset knew that if Twilight had been the one standing there, she would have taken the offer. She would have backed down, gone back to the other world and lived her life outside of Equestria. With Starlight it felt...different. The determination of a mare who was trying to hold herself together for her sake pushed Sunset to keep up her end of the fight. Though her own doubts still dragged behind her like great chains, Starlight had pushed them both to this point. Sunset let her mouth twitch into the beginning of a smile, the best she could muster. “Nope, I'm fine. You're right. If I don't do it now then I'll never do it. You know it, and so do I. Still, I appreciate the gesture.”
Visibly sagging with relief, Starlight momentarily broke her calm facade and let her weakness break through the cracks. She was sure Sunset noticed, the golden mare nuzzled her softly, yet no comment came forth. Collecting herself, Starlight jabbed her hoof towards the castle. “Okay, well, like I said. Now that you've said yes that's it. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into.”
“I do,” Sunset replied, setting a determined stare onto her features. “Let's do this.” With a noticeably straighter posture, she strode through the massive gates. It ended today. For better or worse, it ended today.
Finding the throne room was easy enough, thanks to Sunset's prior knowledge of the castle. Finding Celestia herself was a different matter. They both stared at the empty throne room, silently wondering why they had thought it would ever be that easy. Starlight slammed her head against the wall with a worrying thunk, an action which had Sunset wincing for her. “That...really can't be good for you.”
“Probably not,” Starlight admitted, rubbing her forehead as the beginnings of a dull ache began to build up under her skin. “In the long run at least. In the short term it works fine. Ugh, I hate to ask but do you have any idea where Celestia would be at this time?”
The question moulded Sunset's face into the epitome of discomfort as she cast her mind back to before her turnaround. Several times she had tried to memorise Celestia's schedule, in a selfish bid to maximise the coveted time when the princess' attention was focused solely on her. In her desperation she had often tried to manipulate the accursed writings, demanding more than she was given. Without fail, Celestia had caught on to her scheming. Then she would try to deter Sunset from any more trickery with a lecture in compassion.
***
“Every pony in Equestria is just as important as the other, whether it seems like it at the time or not. Just because a problem may seem small to you or I, does not mean that it is small to the one who brings it to my attention.” she would often say, while Sunset was glaring at the wall, as if it had done her a great offense.
The next part was the worst. Rather than be angry, or even disappointed, Celestia would simply point out the hypocrisy in Sunset's anger, turning it quickly into bitter embarrassment. “To another pony, the time you fell into the fountain during the picnic with dignitaries of Saddle Arabia would be trivial, even something to laugh at. Yet to you it was important, so important that it gave you nightmares for several weeks afterwards. Is that not true?”
“Y-yes...” Sunset would murmur, knowing without the use of a mirror that her cheeks had turned the same colour of her mane.“It was horrible! I was a total laughing stock! But what does that have to do with who gets to name the new boat? It's just a boat.”
The lecture would continue, despite falling on deaf ears. “And a quick fall would mean nothing to the ponies who spent several years constructing what you call, “just a boat”. They have as much passion for it as you do for magic, or keeping up your appearance. The first voyage, and subsequent naming is their crowning moment, just as learning a new spell is for you. Neither is important to the other, but that makes them no less important overall. As a princess, I must take everypony's problems and suggestions into account. In a way, I must speak for them all equally, making important to me what is important to them. Do you understand?”
***
Sunset never did. Celestia's words had been as fruitless as Sunset's schemes. At least until her life at Canterlot High had changed her for the better. Finally, she had been able to see exactly what Celestia's words meant in practise. Every girl was different, with their own fears and dreams. However, when it came to the group as a whole, no one was treated as more important and no opinions were disregarded. There were slip ups, as there always were, and Sunset had spent time both as mediator and instigator. Throughout those experiences she had reflected on her old ways and finally come to appreciate Celestia's position. As a princess, she was allowed no slip ups, as a friend and mentor...she should have been.
Aware that she had been silent for some time, she focused back into the world and regretfully shook her head. “No...sorry, I don't have any idea. Her schedule changes day to day, and it's been years. Luna's return only makes things harder to predict.”
“Hmm...yeah...fair enough,” Starlight hummed, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. The long run was upon her quicker than she would have liked, her head now throbbed as if Pinkie was using it as a drumkit. “Well, we'll just have to search the whole castle, and...hope she's here.”
That proved much more difficult than Starlight hoped it would. The guards left them alone for the most part after Starlight had managed to convince them she was here on Twilight's behalf. It was technically not a lie, she managed to convince herself. Unfortunately, none of those that they spoke to was able to help them find Celestia. Sweat started to form on Starlight's brow and her mouth dried rapidly. Walking the endless corridors for what felt like hours had yielded no results, even with Sunset's expert guidance. Frustrated with her lack of progress, Starlight felt her tether begin to fray. The way things were going, she was perilously close to doing something reckless.
“This is hopeless,” Starlight hissed under her breath. Igniting her horn, she tossed her head backwards. As if commanded by a great wind, every door in the corridor swung open. Predictably, and perhaps thankfully, every room was completely empty. Feeling a little sheepish, Starlight turned back to Sunset. “Sorry I just got a little carried awa-...Sunset?”
The golden mare was oblivious to Starlight's words, staring into one room in particular. Starlight watched as Sunset slowly walked through the now open door. “Oh what have I done now?” she groaned, clenching her eyes closed and tearing her face away. “What was Twilight thinking? What was I thinking? I'm going to blow this if I'm not careful...” Growling at her own inadequacy, she slammed her hoof into the ground. A sharp echoing clack thrummed in her ears and the stinging pain lanced up her foreleg. Both sensations helped reign in her emotions and brought her back to the task at hoof. “That's not helping anypony. I'd...better go see what's wrong, rather than staying here and talking to myself.”
She poked her head into the room, seeing Sunset had wandered into the middle of it. To Starlight it looked like a stereotypical castle room, though with far more dust than she was used to. Sunset was completely entranced though, oblivious to Starlight's approach. Quietly, so as to avoid startling the emotional unicorn, Starlight whispered,“You okay?”
As if her trance was the only thing still keeping her up, Sunset folded like a house of cards and slumped to her knees. “Y-yeah...” she murmured wearily, practically melting into the thick, luxurious carpet. “I-I just need a minute.”
Since more fruitless searching did not appeal to her, and dragging Sunset through it would be cruel, Starlight settled down next to her. “Well we weren't getting anywhere anyway... We can rest a minute.”
“Thanks...” Sunset whispered gratefully, slowly turning her head to survey the room they were in. Even through the thick layer of dust that had settled in every single corner, she could remember it well. After all these years, it lay completely untouched. “This...This is my old room. Y'know, when I lived at the castle.”
Eyes widening to resemble full moons, Starlight immediately began to survey her surroundings. Was life really that coincidental? Now that she really looked the motifs tying the chambers to Sunset were obvious. From the faded bedspread emblazoned with her fiery cutie mark, to the huge window taking up most of one wall. There was even a huge bookshelf full of arcane texts on the wall opposite the window. Almost instinctively, Starlight knew that the window faced west, where the sun would eventually set.
“Wow...Okay I admit that is a bit of a coincidence...” Starlight muttered, leaning to the side and pressing against Sunset's flank. Though her breaths were slow and methodical, Starlight could feel the mare's frantic heartbeat through their connecting sides. “Sorry, I guess it isn't really helping to be here is it?”
Roughly drawing a hoof across her eyes, Sunset swallowed to try and clear the lump that her memories were forcing painfully against her larynx. “I-I...don't know. I guess...it's nice to see it again, even if it is covered in dust...” Sighing heavily, she stood up and placed her hooves onto the massive bed. Even now, it felt far too big, swallowing her hooves into its soft, inviting mass. That was just the way she liked it. “I...I wonder why it was never re-used.”
Unable to think of a suitable response, Starlight could only offer a meek shrug. Sunset chuckled weakly, her shoulders shaking from the effort. “Must not be hurting for rooms huh?” In one painfully slow movement she clambered onto the bed and sank into it. Ignoring the cloud of dust she raised in her wake, she laid her head on her hooves. “C-can you, leave me alone for a bit. I need to just...remember.”
The suggestion took Starlight off guard but she knew better than to question it. She felt helpless watching Sunset drink in her memories, it tore at her heartstrings. If Sunset had wanted her to stay she would have, but every fibre of her being rejoiced at the request. “Yeah, sure. I'll be outside.” With that, she started to leave. The quiet, heart wrenching sobs were only audible for a moment before the door closed Sunset off from the outside world.
For a moment Starlight stood stock still, then everything left her. Her whole body felt light, as if it were made of air. Then, the entirety of her mass seemed to return to her at once and almost drove her to the ground. One indisputable fact had knocked the spirit of her body, she was causing this. It had been her pushing that had driven Sunset to come here. Whether it was necessary or not, did it really have to hurt this much? Did it have to drag on for so long? Were Starlight's misdeeds forcing their unfathomable cost on Sunset?
“No...” she whispered in a voice as stable as steel. “I'm not waiting any longer. I'm not being denied any longer.”

//-------------------------------------------------------//
                      Finding the Sun                      
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Finding the Sun
A series of sharp cracks and pops filled every inch of Canterlot Castle, some bleeding into the grounds. The noise was accompanied by bright flashes of teal light, as the magical discharges carried a frantic unicorn throughout every corner of the castle. One maid and a guard were startled from their extra curricular activities, though before they could utter any stuttered explanations the intruder was already long gone. Eventually, ragged panting filled one hallway, as that unicorn was forced to take a breather. “Ugh...and ponies wonder why unicorns still walk. Why are these castles so big? Why do princesses need so many rooms?”
A calm, musical voice that she had only heard on few occasions yet would recognise immediately answered her. “There is a rather interesting answer to that question."
Starlight whirled around. Drenched in sweat and suffering from a bad hair day that would give Rarity nightmares for years, she turned to face the princess of the day. Celestia's unmistakable form was flanked by three others, none of whom Starlight recognised, though they seemed to regard her with disdain. She snapped her eyes back upwards when the solar alicorn spoke again. “I admit I did not expect to see you here, Starlight Glimmer. Is something amiss?”
Unable to believe her luck, Starlight shoved her bang out of her eyes. It did nothing for her dishevelled appearance, which only seemed to worsen in the presence of the immaculate princess. “Actually, I've been looking for you. There's uh...” she stalled her tongue and mulled over the best way to explain. If she let slip that Sunset was involved, then the meeting may never take place. A meeting that everything was riding on.“...Something you need to see.”
Before Celestia was able to respond, a scoff came from her right. A large brown stallion, with well kept dark brown hair and a magnificent goatee, stepped out in front of Celestia. His clothing was easily more expensive than the entirety of Starlight's worldly possessions and the way he looked down his muzzle at her illustrated that he knew that fact well. “Young ma'am I'm afraid that you cannot simply barge in on this meeting. There are more important things than what you think the Princess has to see. Perhaps you should run along back to class.”
“Class?” Starlight snapped, visibly beginning to bristle as a violent flame surged through her veins. This was the wrong time for anyone to be messing with her. “I'm not part of the school! I just-” As sparks threatened to leap from her overused horn, she forced herself to take a deep breath and quench the dangerously rising flame. “P-please Princess,” she pleaded quietly, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. “This is important...Really important.” Her exhausted, stress riddled body hoped that would be enough.
Celestia saw the signs before even Starlight herself did. She barely had enough time to excuse herself before the sensation of being wrenched through space overtook her. A brilliant flash of teal burned into her eyes. The discomfort ended after a moment and Celestia opened them once again. Those same eyes widened slightly as her surroundings revealed themselves to her. She dared not hope...
Thrown off balance by her haphazard teleport, Starlight staggered around until she found her centre again. It took several extra seconds for her innards to settle into their correct positions. Moving her mouth as little as possible to avoid being sick, she apologised nervously. “Sorry about that. I guess my magic did all the thinking for me there.”
Dipping her head slowly, Celestia offered a small smile for Starlight's benefit. The expression was difficult to pull off but she had centuries of practice. Keeping up appearances under sudden duress was essential for keeping the ponies under her rule calm, even when she herself was anything but. Only in her most private of moments was the smile allowed to slip. “It's quite alright. The meeting was drawing to a close anyway and you seem to have gone to great lengths to find me.”
“Y-yeah I have.” Starlight agreed, massaging her poor abused head briefly. It was somehow managing to hurt and yet feel numb all at once. Her thoughts were only kept sharp through sheer willpower and necessity. “Umm...can you wait here for a moment. I need to um...get everything ready.”
Another nod, so Starlight took her leave and ducked back into the room. Meanwhile, Celestia released a long slow breath and braced herself. Now, she was almost certain she knew what was about to transpire...
The faint creaking of the opening door caused Sunset to slowly raise her head out of her hooves. She opened her mouth to murmur a weary greeting, assuming that Starlight had simply gotten restless. When the sight of such a bedraggled, fatigued pony met her eyes, she leapt to her feet and ran towards her. “Starlight! What happened? Are you okay!”
Accepting the hug Sunset threw her way, Starlight whispered quietly into the mare's ear. “I found her, she's outside.”
The words were like a thrown brick, causing Sunset to visible stumble in their wake. “O-oh...” she stammered, trying fruitlessly to hide behind her mane. “You're...efficient.”
“I've been told...” Starlight murmured, craning her neck forwards and gently nuzzling under Sunset's chin. “You ready?”
With more effort than she'd had to muster previously that day, Sunset sighed, “As I'll ever be. You're going to stay in here right?” Her voice trembled as she stumbled over even the simple sentence.
“Of course!” Starlight assured her, nodding her head forcefully. Even though it worsened the churning in her stomach, she had to make sure Sunset knew she was serious. “No matter what happens, I'm staying. I promised I wouldn't make you do it alone.
“Thanks...” Sunset murmured, backing away and squaring her shoulders. After everything that Starlight had done to bring her this far, the least she could do was give it her level best shot. “I-I'm ready.”
Starlight dipped her head in understanding then turned back to the door. “You can come in now Princess.” With bated breath, the lilac unicorn waited as the air around her thickened uncomfortably. This was the moment of truth.
Summoning every ounce of her strength, Celestia walked into the room. Despite having not entered it in years, she knew it well enough to navigate it blindfolded. Many a night had been spent in that large bed, with a small golden filly snuggling against her side. Even now, as she stared at the dusty covers, her right wing twitched as a phantom warmth spread through the fur beneath it. She turned to Starlight, only to look straight past her, at a pony that, before today, she thought she would never see again.
Sunset was cowering behind Starlight, struck down by the solar alicorn's imposing presence. When Celestia took a step forward, her heart threatened to break when her former pupil scurried backwards. Composing herself, the princess sat down on the unused carpet, still towering over the two unicorns. “I think, that you have some explaining to do, Starlight Glimmer.” Her voice was soft, yet held every ounce of authority available to her. For the next few moments at least, she was a princess and had to keep herself in check.
“Y-yeah. I guess I do.” Starlight said softly, unable to stop herself from wincing at the regal tone. “I...don't really know where to begin. All, that's really important right now is that Sunset really needs to talk to you. She's not the pony she was back when you banished her. She's changed. I know I can't ask you to believe me, or her for that matter...but please...just hear her out...Please.” By the end, she was begging, baring her soul to Celestia's compassion.
Celestia only nodded silently. It wrenched at her soul to see them both so skittish. Neither knew what to expect from her, both fearing the absolute worst. If only they knew what was within her, how she had pained all these years. She held her own counsel, for now, exercising unfathomable restraint. Despite the torment, it put her through, she knew that Sunset had to first be allowed to forgive herself. Only then would she be ready for what Celestia had kept locked away all these years.
Starlight breathed out slowly, wincing when the air caught in her chest. Turning to Sunset, she offered a supportive smile. Her body felt as solid as water but she refused to let her conviction waver. “Floor is yours I guess...”
The golden unicorn nodded, moving out from behind Starlight and sitting down across from Celestia. Despite the time that had passed, she still could not look directly into those ancient eyes. Picking a feather on Celestia's wing, she used that as a focal point instead. “I-I... I-...” Her voice faltered and it felt like she would shake herself apart at any moment. The beginnings of tears burned in her eyes. She could not do this, she was going to fail. She clenched her jaw to stop her teeth chattering, which only increased the quivering in her core. She felt like a rumbling volcano, ready to blow until a lilac hoof looped around her shoulder.
Instantly going still, Sunset turned to see Starlight wink at her. Their closeness allowed Sunset to truly see every ounce of effort Starlight poured into getting her here. “Live in the moment and take what it's giving you. You're here now, just gotta do this. Good luck.”
“Heh...thanks, Starlight,” Sunset murmured, then she raised her head slightly. “I...I'm just here, to say I'm sorry...” She trailed off, expecting that to be it. Her tongue had other plans. Now that she had started, once again she helpless against the raging torrent that followed. “I'm sorry for being arrogant, I'm sorry for being selfish and I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I'm sorry for everything I said that day...and everything I said before. You were right. You didn't have to take me as your student, whatever I believed, and instead of being grateful I ended up taking advantage of it. I never really listened to you.” Tears now streamed in a cascade down her cheeks, falling onto the dusty floor. Setting her jaw, she raised her head and finally, met Celestia's eyes. Despite her crying, the alicorn's image was crystal clear. “I know that I have no right to just come back and say this, you banished me from the castle. I just...had to say this. I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry.”
Finished, Sunset slowly lowered her head, waiting with growing dread for the coming response. For several long, agonising seconds, there was silence. Then, she heard Celestia rise and start to walk towards her. Unable to keep herself contained, she flinched backwards, curling up into a shaking ball. Starlight immediately moved forwards, trying to shield the golden unicorn. Before she could take more than a step, a warm golden glow rooted her to the spot. Celestia's deep magenta eyes met hers and Starlight felt the urge to resist flee from her, even when Celestia gently pulled her apart from Sunset.
In the absence of Starlight's warmth, Sunset's shoulder suddenly felt empty. Though she could not see it, she could feel Celestia's shadow filling the void. She expected the oncoming voice to be cold, to demand that she leave. The same angry tone that had reverberated within her since her banishment filled her ears. It was deafening and yet when the real Celestia finally spoke, was cast aside as easily as smoke in the wind.
“Oh, Sunset...” she murmured, slowly wrapping her soft wing around Sunset and pulling the quivering mare into a warm embrace, just as she had all those years ago. “It has been too long. I should never have sent you away that day.”
Gradually recovering from the shock of her warm reception, Sunset peeked her head up above Celestia's feathers. “Why are you apologising? I'm the one who was completely reprehensible. I...don't understand.” She let out a bitter snort, feebly trying to push Celestia away. It was like trying to move a mountain. “If this is just some way to make me feel better then please, don't. I'm not a little filly anymore.”
Sunset's scowl faded and she blinked once at the sound of Celestia's bell like laughter. She could feel the alicorn's sides move up and down against her. It was a sound she had not heard in far too long. Slowly, the alicorn's sides settled back into a steady rhythm as Celestia collected herself. “No, that you are not. You have grown in many many ways. My apology is sincere Sunset. There are many things I could have done, many words I could have said, that could have changed the outcome of our time together.”
Closing her eyes, the solar princess pulled Sunset a little closer. “Like you, I have made mistakes. Considerably more of them as it happens. And yet...with many more years than either you or Starlight-,” she inclined her head in the lilac mare's direction. “-have had, I still made the same mistake with you as I did with Luna.”
Sunset raised her head sharply, unable to believe her ears. “What?” she asked on impulse, a little more sharply than she intended. Outside of the embrace, Starlight jumped slightly as well.
Celestia sighed and turned away from them both, staring out through the large window into the garden below. Her loyal subjects milled around in it peacefully, able to enjoy its many exotic wonders. Their happiness was a testament to her success, which had been built on a foundation of many regrets.“Rather than simply explain why I did not want you pursuing the mirror, I foolishly avoided the topic, citing that you were not ready. Naturally, that only increased your desire and fuelled your curiosity. I saw this and yet I did nothing.” She lowered her head in shame as the weight of such regrets tugged at her. “Just as I did with Luna. I saw the pain that she felt when others shunned and neglected her night, yet I did nothing. In both cases, I was in a position to help and yet did nothing. Instead, I placed the burden of responsibility on you both until it was too late.”
An almost imperceptible waver burrowed its way into Celestia's voice. It went unnoticed by Starlight but Sunset picked up on the subtle change immediately. “It is a mistake I have taken far too long to correct. With Luna, I was younger, more naive to the inner workings of ponies. It is no excuse for my actions, merely a reason. But with you Sunset, I had all the necessary knowledge to prevent what happened I just...did not. It was easier to simply distance myself from you and expect you to learn the answer on your own.”
Unwilling to hear more, Sunset leapt to her feet and glared angrily at Celestia.“I should have found the answer on my own! I shouldn't have been what I was! I should have just listened!”
“Sunset...” Celestia whispered folding her still outstretched wing back against her side.
“I should have just done what I was told and none of this would have had to happen!” Sunset's rant continued until her lungs were begging her to ease the force of her screaming. “I could've stayed in Equestria! I could have continued my studies! Maybe I would have become a Princess maybe I wouldn't have! It doesn't matter anymore! I ruined everything! You can't just sit there and tell me it was your fault too! It wasn't! I'm the one who was at fault! Me! It was all me! It...It was me that needed to change...And...and I did...I-I did...”
Spent, she sagged to her haunches, throat sore from the sudden abuse. Her fiery mane fell over her face, obscuring her sea green eyes from view. No one moved, maintaining the still silence. Then, Sunset's shoulders heaved upwards and sagged as she took a long breath. Raising her head, the golden unicorn pushed her mane away from her eyes and smiled weakly. “That...actually does feel better.”
“Told you it would,” Starlight said with a light-hearted giggle.
Sunset nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you did...” She turned to Celestia, swallowing nervously but no longer slave to the crippling fear she had felt minutes ago. “Thank you for listening Princess... You, you didn't have to do that.”
“Oh but I did Sunset,” Princess Celestia stated softly. “As I said, it was as much my fault as it was yours.”
“I guess none of us are perfect huh?” Sunset pushed herself to her feet. No longer anchored to her past mistakes, she felt her strength returning to her. “Still, not all of us have to try for...well, for as long as you have.” She exhaled, taking slow tentative steps towards the princess. “I...I don't know if this helps, but well... I...I forgive you too.”
Her steps halted quickly, Sunset hung back at the very edge of Celestia's reach. She waited silently, unable to bring herself to move closer. Starlight stood at her shoulder, unable to even begin to predict what was about to happen next. Celestia was completely silent, letting the words pour through her again and again. With each pass, they chipped away at the massive weight she had been carrying for years. Raising her head, she smiled widely. “Thank you Sunset. It does help. More than you know.”
Sunset then pulled the easiest smile she had all day. “I'm glad.” She hesitated, trying to summon up all of her courage. She felt a sudden, hard shove from behind her which threw her right into Celestia's chest. Rather than whirling around and confronting the obvious culprit, she simply looped her hooves around the alicorn. Pressing her cheek into the warm, soft, fur, she let her eyes drift closed. A heavy weight rested on her shoulder and a blanket of white feathers enveloped her. Sunset was fully convinced that she could have fallen asleep right there. She felt lighter now, as her final regret melted from her shoulders, unwelcome in the loving embrace.
They stayed like that, time quickly becoming irrelevant. Having been apart for so long, neither wanted to break the bond again. Eventually, the pair pulled apart, though Celestia kept one wing wrapped around Sunset's shoulder. The sight pressed an unintentional but very welcome smile onto Starlight's face. Satisfied that her work was done, she made to back away. Her plans were thoroughly ruined by the firm magically grip that took hold of her tail. Bewildered, she turned back around. What had she missed?
Coming face to face with Sunset, she had barely any time to even raise a questioning eyebrow before the golden unicorn tackled her to the ground. Flat on the ground, Starlight was utterly powerless to protest the smothering hug. Not that she would have.
“I'm...assuming this is a thank you?” Starlight asked, chuckling softly as she gave Sunset an awkward one hooved hug. Her other limb had ended up trapped between her chest and Sunset.
Pulling away, Sunset looked Starlight right in the eye. The shadow of her past sins was no longer hidden behind the sea green irises, allowing the happy glint to shimmer away with all its might. “Yup.”
“Like I said, anytime.” Giggling with both relief and genuine happiness, Starlight got to her feet. The two unicorns stood shoulder to shoulder, glad that the ordeal was over. Looking between Celestia and Sunset, Starlight once again started to step away. “Anyway, I should really leave you to catch up.”
“That...may have to wait until later...” Sunset started, deflating rapidly. “I'm pretty sure Princess Celestia has a full schedule...” she trailed off, a very uncomfortable thought beginning to play jump rope with her gut. She looked up at Princess Celestia, dreading what she was about to hear. “Umm... when Starlight said she found you, were you...in the middle of something?”
“I was just wrapping up a tour of the castle for the Duke and Duchess of Maretonia” Celestia answered casually, a subtle mischievous glint coming to her eye. She watched with quiet amusement as Sunset slowly turned towards the other unicorn. If a pin had been dropped at that exact moment, it would have been deafening.
Eyes narrowing to almost slits, Sunset levelled a glare at her friend. “How exactly did you manage to get Princess Celestia here?”
Wilting slightly under the sea-green gaze, Starlight chewed on her lip. “Um...uh... it...might have involved some...” she twirled her hoof, trying to act aloof. When Sunset's eyes somehow managed to narrow even further said hoof started to play with her mane.“I might have...teleported her here...without much warning...”
Panic settled in Sunset's chest and her jaw plummeted towards the floor. Her eyelids opened to their fullest extent in an instant and her whole body felt numb and useless. The deepest recesses of her mind began to tweak her senses, turning every shadow into a guard waiting to pounce. A quick shake of her head cast aside those idiotic over-exaggerations, allowing her to focus her incoming eruption on the source of their new problem. “Are you crazy? You do realise that you've probably caused a massive panic around the castle?”
“What was I supposed to do?” Starlight cried, thrusting her hooves into the air. Though she could sympathise with Sunset's distress, she could not find it within her to condemn her own actions. “You needed her here, right now. I wasn't about to just wait for the meeting to finish! Who knows how long it could have been.” The beginnings of a crimson blush rose into her cheeks as she admitted the next part of the story. “Also...I might have sort of, exhausted myself looking for her which let my magic slip out of my direct control and tap directly into my desires...” The self-mocking chuckle she added at the end did nothing to improve Sunset's mood.
“You're gonna get us both arrested! You basically stole a princess of Equestria, Princess Celestia herself, from a meeting in front of several dignitaries and goodness knows how many guards! We've got to fix this! We've got to...” Her entire body went rigid as the situation dawned on her. Despite her time away, she really should have seen this coming. In a much more subdued tone, she sighed and shook her head, “Do absolutely nothing because Princess Celestia already handled it.” Without turning, she addressed the now laughing ruler of Equestria. “I'm right, aren't I?”
To reign in her merriment, Celestia quietly coughed behind a hoof. Her smile remained perfectly in place. “Yes, indeed you are Sunset. Quickly surmised as usual.”
Always the sceptic, Starlight raised an eyebrow. This did not quite add up. Stalking forward, she gave Celestia a taste of the full force of her intense, scrutinizing stare. To her credit, the ancient alicorn bore it with unflinching ease. “Wait...How did you manage to deal with it?” She idly tapped her jaw, trying to analyse the memory. “I didn't even give myself more than four seconds warning.”
“Kibitz was present, as he always is,” Celestia explained, her smile twitching into a grin momentarily as she saw Sunset gag in disgust at the name. “I was able to relay a message to him. Four seconds was a challenge but I am sure that I managed. He will be able to handle the situation in my absence.”
“Yeah, I guess he's useful for something...” Sunset grumbled under her breath. She knew the old stallion meant well but her past exploits, particularly those involving Celestia's schedule, had put the two at constant odds. With her thoughts turned to the reality of being a princess, a cloying sadness overwhelmed her previous elation. As much as she had accepted it, her tongue was having difficulty forming her farewell. “C'mon. We should go...” she said suddenly, already moving mechanically towards the door.
Surprised at such a hasty exit, Starlight hurried to get in front of her, walking backwards to keep herself between Sunset and the door. “Aren't you gonna stay and catch up? You aren't gonna just leave now are you?”
Raising her head, Sunset shook it listlessly. Starlight's heart skipped a beat and she too crashed back to reality. Even with everything behind them, life would still sometimes feel the need to remind them they had once been reprehensible. “Maybe in a few days. I'd love to stay and talk right now but I don't think Princess Celestia's schedule will allow it.” She offered up a half smile, though her lips felt as if they were made of lead, and tried to set everyone's mind at ease. “I...I can wait.”
A swelling of pride blossomed within Celestia, as she beheld Sunset's reaction. More times than she wished to count she had mourned the trappings of being a princess. She was as bound to her duty as she would be to a ball and chain. It had taken Sunset a long time to realise that. Instead of only thinking of herself, she was now thinking of the bigger picture and of those around her. Though, she was not quite seeing everything just yet.
“Actually, that's not quite true Sunset,” she said softly, giggling as she watched the golden ears prick up. Even though it was turned away from her, she could practically see the hopeful look that was spreading across Sunset's face. She gestured towards the position of her sun. “By my reckoning, we are exactly in time for dinner. Would you like to join me?”
Unable to believe her luck, Sunset was only able to respond by nodding her head furiously. She only stopped when the laughter of both Starlight and Celestia caused her cheeks to redden with embarrassment. In a vain attempt to correct herself she cleared her throat. “Um, yeah...I'd like that... a lot actually.”
Silently thanking whatever forces had allowed this coincidence, Starlight took a gracious step back. “You two go ahead. I think I'm a little too beat for food right now.” She mimed a yawn, which was truthfully only partially a farce. She really was about ready to collapse, on the floor if necessary. She could probably still make it to the nearby bed...maybe.
Understanding immediately, Sunset flashed her a grateful smile. The pair quickly bumped hooves, putting the final seal on their task. “I'll be back later,” Sunset promised. “There's still a lot of the human world I've got to show you. If you're up for it that is.”
“Ppft!” Starlight snorted, waving her hoof dismissively. “I'm up for anything!”
A smirk danced across Sunset's features. She would make Starlight regret those words. “We'll see about that...”
Before she could see anything else, a teal magic enveloped her. She was then unceremoniously shoved forwards, towards the door. Celestia smiled and walked forward, draping her wing over Sunset's shoulder. She looked down at her grown pupil fondly, glad for the little moment of closeness they were finally able to enjoy. The doors had finally closed on their time apart, locking away years of regret. The only way to go now was forward.
Suddenly feeling like a filly again, Sunset wriggled her way out of Celestia's wing. She took a few tentative steps forward, letting herself get just ahead of Celestia. She was overtaken, by a happiness that she had not felt in years. In an excited, slightly high-pitched squeal, she yelled, “Last one to the dining hall gets last dibs at pudding!”
Putting on a spur of speed, she dashed off down the corridor. Left behind, Celestia allowed herself a moment to watch fondly as her student galloped through the halls she belonged in. Then, throwing decorum to the wings, she spurred her own legs into action and sprinted after Sunset. Their laughter echoed throughout the entire castle. There would be more sadness later, as their time apart had changed much. Some damage that had been caused would unfortunately never truly heal. Yet it did not matter, for a bond they had both thought severed for ever was now repaired and could now continue to grow.
Author's Note
YAY! It's finally out! I've been working on this for far too long. It's all done! Whoopee whoopee whoopee! I am totally not going mad! I hope you all enjoyed this. Sorry, it took so long that it isn't exactly relevant anymore but personally I'd rather that than giving you all a rushed product. Feel free to leave any criticism and general opinions in the comment section. Thank you all for reading. Have a nice day!