Revenge of the ghost squad

by Maxx Phoenix

Rating: teen
Tags: Second Person, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Equestria Girls, Crossover, Main 7 (EqG), Gore, Thriller
Length: 3276

Embers ghost squad returns to wreak havoc

Ember's Ghost Squad has somehow returned for revenge and are terrorizing the world. Can The Crusaders stop them in time?

Published 2017-08-26 00:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-09 20:34:20 UTC

Chapter 1

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the
tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the
weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of
lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those
who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my
vengeance upon you.
-Ezekiel 25:17
You are Anon. It has been a very strange week. A large majority of the MLP roster, as well as
other rosters have been called to Malibu. About six months ago, Barbie, in an attempt to prove
that she is not too old ended up in a car crash and went into a coma for three months and after
three more months of rehab, she called a press conference where she announced her
upcoming retirement at Mystic Kingdom XXXIIIand she is searching for a candidate to pass the torch
to. Knowing Barbie, she’ll most likely choose one of the Monster High girls, but I am getting off
topic.
You walk into the living room to see Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo loading an array
of guns and firearms. “Oh, good morning senpai,” said Sweetie. The petite girl lovingly nudged
up against you. You rub your fingers through her hair and she giggles. “So, what in the blue hell
is going on here?” You asked. “Ah think you should sit down,” Said Apple Bloom. You comply
and sit on the sofa. Scootaloo pulls out her phone. “Do ya remember the Andrew Blaze case?”
Asked the red haired sweet apple badass. You nod. “Well, somebody reactivated the Ember’s
Ghost Squad account and it has relocated on the MyStable platform,” Said Sweetie. Your blood
runs cold. You remember the story of Randy Stair. He killed three supermarket workers. “EGS
has threatened to attack Canterlot City, tonight is going to become a war zone. Just sit tight and
let us take care of this,” Said Scootaloo. You nod. “Did they specify what time they would
attack?” You asked. “Ah believe it’s 7:30 PM,” Said Apple Bloom. “Perfect, more than enough
time to run some errands.” And with that, you sprint out the door with the quickness.
Apple Bloom looked at Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie, did ya manage to find any articles on Andrew
Blaze?” She asked. Sweetie shared a link to Apple Bloom.
https://everipedia.org/wiki/randy-robert-stair/
Apple Bloom surveyed the link. “Okay, let’s see...Andrew Blaze aka Randy Robert Stair was an
American mass murderer who killed three of his co-workers at a Weis Market on June 8, 2017.
He was employed at Weis Market. Stair was also a YouTuber, with a channel under the
pseudonym Andrew Blaze.
On his YouTube channel, Stair uploaded videos referencing the Mass shooting weeks in advance.
On June 8, 2017, brought two handguns guns to Weis Market overnight, blocked the store’s
entrances and exits so no one could flee and fatally shot three of his co-workers, Victoria Brong,
Briany Hayes, and Terry Sterling. He then committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.
Stair had spent his first hour at work overnight blocking all the exits to make it so no one could
leave. Then he got two shotguns from his car and started shooting in the store just after 1:00
a.m. local time.
In total, he fired 59 shots, killing 3 people before taking his own life. Five people were inside the
store at the time, one of them was able to escape.” “ Woah, Andrew was a really screwed up
dude.” Said Scootaloo. “Well, it seems like his legacy lives on. Talk about freaky," Said Apple
Bloom. "Ah think we need to go grab some blades. Ah know somebody who owns a samurai
shop." She said. "Alright, let's head out."
6:30 PM
The three crusaders admired their blades. Each had a pink, red and purple katanas with
matching baretta pistols on the side. Y'all watch Pulp Fiction? Cause there is a passage ah got
memorized. “Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities
of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good
will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper
and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious
anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord
when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that shit for years. It mah favorite movie
quote cause you ever heard it, it meant your ass.” The Crusaders place their fist in a middle.
“1...2...3...BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!!!”

:00 PM
The town square was too quiet...to quiet. The CMC stood back to back to back, waiting for the
squad of doom. Suddenly, a bright blue light shined in the distance. The CMC readied their
weapons and prepared to fight. Right as they let loose battle cry, they saw that was the
Wubmobile.The car belonged to none other than Vinyl Scratch. “Woah dudes, what are you
doing in the road?” Asked the ‘Doctor of Wubanomics’. “Howdy, Vinyl. How was the
conference? Asked Apple Bloom. “It was alright until the plane ride back. Tavi came across a
story that was slandering her parents. Gotta go rent a wheelchair,” She said. “What’s wrong with
her?” Asked Sweetie. Octavia poked her head up. “I have crippling depression,” she said sadly.
“It’s OK, Tavi. Your parents still love you,” Vinyl affirmed. With that, they were on their
way(#GetWellVinyl). Just then, you come running by with the speed of kanyans. “Oh shit! It’s
about to go down! You roar, tripping over yourself in the process. The CMC looked over the horizon as a large horde of of squaddies rushed toward them. The girls pulled out their weapons
and ushered their battle cry. “BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!!!!!”

Chapter 2

The three Crusaders rush toward the slew of ghostly squaddies with a slash and a bang as Limp Bizkit's 'Head for the barricade' . Four squaddies attacked Apple Bloom, but she countered with a raging katana slash to two of them and blasted the other two with her gun. Scootaloo was on a building slashing up a larger squaddie. She slipped behind it ,grabbed it and german suplexed it off the roof. "Scoota City,bitch!" Scootaloo cried out. Sweetie Belle was having a bit of trouble with her set of squaddies. "Scoots, let's switch things up", yelled Sweetie. Scootaloo obliged and traded her katana for Sweetie's gun and vice versa. Sweetie hacky slashed the squaddies to reveal a slew of blood and plasma. "Woah,they are freaking robots," said Sweetie. "If they are real ghosts, we have to go all out. BUMP UP THE POWER!!" Apple Bloom roared. All three let loose simultaneous screams as they blew out their enemies. Scootaloo blasted some fools with some dual gun action while Sweetie X-bladed the fuck out of them as Apple Bloom dealed out some superman punches and a spear through a window. "Ah think that's the last of em,"said Apple Bloom. With that, the girls rushed back to your place. Apple Bloom opened the door to reveal you playing psychiatrist. Today, your patient is none other than the daughter of Frankenstein herself. Frankie. Sweetie could only form three words. "What the fuck???" Frankie just stared at them with a blank expression. "Anon, what in the bluest of blue hell is she doing here?" Applebloom asked passively. You place a hand on Frankie's shoulder. "Frankie has been chosen to be Barbie's successor," you say. "That does not answer mah question. Why is she here?" AB asked. "She is afraid of screwing up." "Relax, I'm sure you'll do fine." Scootaloo says calmly. "I hope you're right, Scoots," Frankie says. That is when she got a ring on her phone. "As, man. Draculaura got her head stuck in a toilet again. Gotta go!" With that, Frankie rushed off. Sweetie blinked. "OK, what the fuck was that?" She asked. "Guys, I have a feeling that this war is just beginning, we may need all the help we get. " Said Applebloom. "Drastic times call for drastic measures." She added. You raise an eyebrow. Applebloom Apple, what for fuck are you thinking?" You ask with a nervous expression.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" asked Sweetie. "Ah sure hope so." Applebloom mused. Scootaloo walked up and knocked on the marble door infront of them. The door opened up to reveal a disheveled Sonata Dusk. "May I help you?" She asked. "Wow, you look like you seen better days." Said Sweetie Belle. "Gee, what was your first guess?" Sonata said in a rather jarring tone. The three crusaders blinked. "I'm sorry, its just that Aria found some fan fiction online in which Adagio beats her with a belt, then Adagio taunted her about it saying there is nothing Aria would do about it and they have been fighting for THREE HOURS AND COUNTING AND ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!" Sonata vented. "We kind of need your help with some supernatural bullshit." Said Applebloom. Sonata rolled her eyes. "By all means, come in, but watch the broken glass." She said.

.....One explaination and a trap remix of the Danny Phantom later.....

Sonata munched her taco halfheartedly. "So, the tranny phantom killer is back, huh?" The Crusaders nodded. "Sorry girls, I can't help you, while practicing has made our voices stronger, we still have a long way to go." She said. "Thank ya anyway, Sonata." Sonata pulled out some paper and wrote an address on it. "What the hell is this?" Asked Scootaloo. "You girls need to fight a tranny with another tranny. Take this, but she is kind of diva." Said Sonata. "You do realize that tranny is an offensive term, right? Said Sweetie. Sonata simply loomed at her. "I don't give a damn."

-Later-

"Ah think this is the right house, though, ah don't know why we snuck in through her window. " Said Applebloom. "Because Sonata said she was a smug bitch." Said Scootaloo. "How are you sure this is the right house?" Sweetie asked. "Listen to the music." Said Scoots.

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen
I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna let myself get,
Absolutely soaking wet!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Every Specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy

It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen!
It's Raining Men! Hallelujah!
It's Raining Men! Amen!

The Crusaders headed down the stairs to investigate the noise. What they say was a woman in her underwear, dancing like a thot. Scootaloo looked at Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. "Yup, that's Glass Water alright," Apple Bloom mused.

The music immediately stopped as Glass looked the three interlopers. "What in the flying fuck are you tree asshole doing my house?!?" Glass Water shrieked. "Uh, we was told that you could help us out with somethin'," said Apple Bloom. Scootaloo raised er hand. "Glass, how are you a woman but you sound like a dude?" She asked. Glass responded with a swift kick in the face. Scootaloo groaned as she recovered in got to her feet. "What was that for?" Scootaloo complained. "I am transwoman, you dingbat," Glass yelled. "Hey, let cooler heads prevail," Sweetie Belle called out. "Listen, we need your help. Right now, the world is under siege. Somehow. Someway, Ember's Ghost Squad has become a real thing, we were able to fend off a small group, and they are as real as it gets," Apple Bloom. Glass Water sipped some wine. "OK, sounds legit," Glass mused. "So, what do you need me for?" She asked. "Sonata sent us," Apple Bloom. Glass simply mused.

Battle of Nogger University

"Alright. Listen, you fucks. Here is what you have to know about this ghostly foe," Glass began as she read on encyclopediadramatica.rs. "Randy Robert Stair AKA Andrew Blaze was an emo Columbiner. A degenerate 24-year-old whose mental state caused him to devolve from a relatively normal handsome young lad into a man-child basement dweller constantly obsessing over Nickelodeon cartoon characters that he morphed into edgy school shooters called the Ember's Ghost Squad. His perverse and childish obsession with his fairy-tale world, coupled with his degenerative psychological condition eventually accumulated in him perpetrating a mediocre mass shooting at the grocery store he worked at, that resulted in a pitiful 3 murders before he an hero'd. He apparently believed that his imaginary friends were calling for him to kill himself so he could be with them forever,".... "Uh, yeah. We already know that," Apple Bloom. "Right, ok. I actually was looking for a pattern, this is not their first attack and it wont be their last. If the pattern is correct, the next attack will be at a place called Nogger University," Glass said. "Nogger University. "Nogger University? That wrestling podcast school?" Asked Scootaloo. Glass nodded. ""You can't miss it. It's mascot is a fucking ice cream, and their anthem is a song called 'acceptable in the 80's'," she said. "Alright, come on, girls. Let's go see Anon," Sweetie Belle said.

You bounce a ball off of the wall in boredom. You wonder how The Crusaders fight went down. Suddenly, Apple Bloom kicked open the door. "Would it kill you to knock?" You whined. "Sorry, Anon. We need a huge flavor," she says to you. "What?" You say. "We need you to drive us to Nogger University to deal with the Ember's Ghost Squad," said Sweetie Belle.
You shrug. "Sounds legit." Apple Bloom smiled. "Ok, Ah'll go pack our stuff," she said.

It was acceptable in the 80's
It was acceptable at the time
It was acceptable in the 80's
It was acceptable at the time

It was a three hour drive to the airport. "So, we are really going to Ireland?" You asked. "Apple Bloom sighed. "She Demon. Sirens. Other She Demon. Dryad. Mirror Monster. Anon, your argument is not valid.

I've got love for you
If you were born in the 80's, the 80's
I've got hugs for you
If you were born in the 80's, the 80's

The airport was not nearly as difficult as you though it would be. It took about 30 minutes to get on a plane.
The flight itself took about 10 hours.

I'll do things for you
If you were born in the 80's, the 80's
I've got hugs for you
If you were born in the 80's
Yeah

After landing, you and The Crusaders found a nearby hotel to sleep in for a few hours. The Crusaders woke up at 10:00 AM. Sweetie Belle strokes you head lovingly. "Sleep tight, Anon," she says as she pecks you on the head. "C'mon, Sweets," Said Apple Bloom.

It was acceptable in the 80's
It was acceptable at the time
It was acceptable in the 80's
It was acceptable at the time

-----------------------------------------------------------Meanwhile at Nogger University-------------------------------------------------------------

Jay Hunter, Mr.OOC and V1 looked down at the college that they built. "Ah,yes. Another successful year at Nogger University," Said Hunter. "Happy days are here again!" Mr.OOC and V1 sing-songed. "Oi, is it just me or is there a dark cloud beginning to form. Inside the dark cloud was a large platoon of squaddies. The squaddies were led by none other than CELESTA RENOLDS. "That lady is wearing wearing a lovely purple and grape purple number. STEVE! WHAT BAR IS SHE?!? " Hunter mused. Steve looked at Hunter. "Well, let's let the comment section deci-OH SHITE!" Steve exclaimed.
I've got love for you
If you were born in the 80's, the 80's
I've got hugs for you
If you were born in the 80's, the 80's
I'll do things for you
If you were born in the 80's, the 80's
I've got hugs for you
If you were born in the 80's
Yeah

Celesta charged at the lads until The Crusaders blocked the attack. "Y'all brahs get t' safety," said Apple Bloom. "Steve, who are the three bras? And what bars are they?" Asked Hunter. The Crusaders rushed toward the platoons. Sweetie Belle pinned a squaddie down and blast her in the back of the mouth. Scootaloo stabbed a squaddie and blew her faust damned head off. "Holy fucking shit, lads. These three girls are badass," said Mr.OOC. Apple Bloom power speared a squaddie through the window and into a classroom, and pumped her pull of led. "This is like japanese hardcore wrestling," said V1. Apple Bloom then heard a voice that rocked her to her very core. "Come on, y'all, we have t' take down these ghost bitches!"

Apple Bloom peeked around the wall and what she saw rocked her confirmed her fears. Not only was her sister, Applejack there, but the entire Rainbooms. The Crusaders have not seen them in about four in a half years. "Crusaders, The Rainbooms are here!" Apple Bloom cried out. Sweetie and Scoots perked up . "Let's just let them, finish their fight," said Scootaloo. The Crusaders convergered blasted the platoon to death, leaving The Rainbooms to face Renolds.

The Rainbooms confronted Celesta, having already ponied up. "Ok, Renolds. You are going down," said Sunset Shimmer. "Who the fuck is this tall bitch?" Asked Rainbow Dash. Sci-Twi pulled up her PDA. "Ok, according to her file on EGS WIKI, Celesta Reynolds was born in 1976 as Charlotte Kohli. She was your typical high school troublemaker. She was viewed as an outcast from the popular kids and expressed her frustration through drawings in her school notebook. All she ever wanted was to fit in. Her carefree and snobby attitude repelled classmates away. Charlotte would eventually find her place, making friends with a crowd that was notorious for mischievous activities. She would frequently get into trouble, both on and off school grounds. She was expelled in 1992 for vandalizing the Morrison High School walls with spray paint. Dropping out of high school at age 16, Charlotte turned to drugs in an attempt to escape the problems in her life. She died of a heroin overdose in June 1992 while knowingly mixing alcohol and antidepressants." She explained. "Wow, how twisted." With that, The Rainbooms rushed Renolds. It's a pretty damn brutal fight, The 10 foot tall Celesta choke-slammed Fluttershy into a table before taking a punch to the back of the head. Celesta tried to attack Pinkie, but Rarity shielded her with her magic. Dashie sprinted and caught Celesta with a high speed corkscrew roundhouse kick. Much to their surprise, Celesta no sold everything they threw at her. Sunset clenched her fists. "That is it! It's time...to go...even further beyond! HAAAAAAAAHAA!!" Sunset assumed her 'daydream' mode that she affectionately calls 'Super Pony 3'. "Here goes. Friendship Sword. Sunset slashed Celesta in the face, making her explode. The lads came out of their hiding spots. "Well done, bras," said Hunter. Sunset nodded. "Give our thanks to those three younger bras?" Rarity tapped Applejack and Rainbow. "You don't think?"
"Who want Nogger?" Said Hunter. "NOGGERS!!!" Pinkie shrieked.

Author's Note

Next time on Revenge of the Ghost Squad: The Marines FOREVER