The night sky was clear of any clouds. Stars shone brightly, twinkling amidst the vast sea of midnight blue. The most prominent source of light was the moon. A beautiful sphere of silver, it’s brilliance teinted only by a dark symbol imprinted on it’s surface. It was the resemblance of a mare.
Celestia stared at it absentmindedly through the large window in her bedroom. The ghostly rays of moonlight reflected themselves in her alabaster coat, lending it a spectral appearance. Her magenta eyes were focusing on the celestial body above her with great intensity.
She could feel waves of regret and guilt washing over her. The semblance of an alicorn mare the moon was marked with served as a constant reminder to the downfall of her beloved sister, and in turn, her own failure.
If only I recognized the signs. If only I was there for her. If only I was able to save her….
If only. Those two words were what most of her thoughts began with whenever she was left alone with them. The princess has suffered through immense tragedy throughout her lifetime, and many emotional scars were the dire consequence. To the public she was still the strong and benevolent leader she always had been, but on the inside everything she went through was continuosly chipping away at her.
Something she was always reminded of when she was alone. When there was no distraction around, nopony to talk to and no task at hand, she fell into those somber memories.
Celestia let out a heavy sigh and averted her gaze from the moon. She wanted to let go of those negative emotions, block them out and actually feel like the princess that’s shining as bright as the sun her subjects knew her as.
However, her eyes fell upon a framed picture idly standing on her nightstand. On it, two ponies were depicted. On the left was Celestia herself, with a bright smile on her face. On the right next to her was a unicorn, orange coat and a mane that alternated between streaks of red and orange, giving it a look similiar to fire. Her name was Sunset Shimmer, and on the picture she was smiling just as brightly.
A former student of Celestia, and another failure. Another time where she let someone close to her, and they ultimately fell from grace. Another occasion that filled Celestia with grief and made her question herself.
She was supposed to love and aid her subjects. She was supposed to guide them on the path of light, so why was it that everypony that got close to the princess on a personal level fell into darkness?
Celestia took the picture into her levitational hold and floated it close to her, the magical glow emitted by her horn shedding light onto the picture and reflecting off the glass cover.
The longer she stared at it, the more Celestia could feel her emotions overwhelmed her. The alicorn could feel tears beginning to form in her eyes. Finally, one singular drop of salty water escaped from her left eye, rolling down her cheek at an agonizingly slow pace. Eventually it dropped onto the picture’s cover, forming a small puddle at the slight protrusion of the frame.
The sun princess realized that she threatened to sink in her emotions, which would result in yet another night of crying herself to sleep. She didn’t mind, she didn’t care. Letting regret get the better of her like this was sure to make forgetting her mistakes and forgiving herself for them impossible. It would make every second she was trapped alone with her thoughts torture, and yet, it felt right. Forgiving herself just seemed so wrong. It felt like she would belittle the ponies that suffered because of her own ignorance and blindness if she was to just forgive and forget.
Celestia was ripped out of her thoughts when she heard hoofsteps approaching her door.
She scrambled to put the picture back on her nightstand and hastily wiped away her tears.
Shortly after, a knock could be heard on the door, and it was quickly followed by a second.
“Celestia?” the voice was slightly muffled by the door, but the alicorn could still recognize who it belonged to.
“Come in, Twilight.”
The door slowly opened, and through it passed a small filly. The lavender coated unicorn was clutching a small doll to her chest using one of her forehooves. Smartypants, as Twilight had named it.
Celestia was much more interested in the fact that the little filly had apparently been crying. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, and her head hung low.
“My dear Twilight, whatever is the matter?” The princess’ tone was of concern.
Twilight sniffed in response. “I had a nightmare…”
Celestia instantly felt pity for her student. The little filly was studying directly under her wings for two months now. Surely she still needed to adapt. It must be hard living away from her parents at such a young age. The princess wanted to ensure that Twilight got the best possible education in order to realize her true potential, that was the reason she took her in after all. However, she also wanted the filly to have as comfortable a time as possible, especially in this early stage. Seeing her sobbing like this and hearing of her having nightmares made Celestia’s heart ache.
Her voice adopted a motherly warmth when replying. “ Oh, you poor thing. Come here, join me.”
She pointed her hoof to a spot next to her and the generously sized bed.
Still sniffing, the unicorn went to sit beside her mentor.
“Care to share what your nightmare was about? Talking about it might sooth your sorrow.” Celestia made an effort to sound as relaxed and kind as possible. She wanted to help her subject as best as possible.
Twilight hesitated for a bit before nodding in response. “ I...I dreamed that i was taking a test on what we studied so far. I f-failed and you were disappointed. Then you said that I let you down and that you don’t care for me anymore, but that was the worst thing I ever heard because you mean so much to me and i respect you and love you and being here at your side is the best thing that ever happened to me and i couldn’t bear losing my connection to you and...and...and…”
She spoke that last sentence in a singular breath and at a staggering pace, all while tears started to form in her eyes. The filly had to stop speaking, both to catch her breath and to stop herself from crying.
Celestia was taken aback. Surprise and a feeling of honour filled her mind.
She had no idea that Twilight already felt such a strong connection towards her.
Her heart was filled with joy at the thought. Her student really valued her that much. Celestia had been feeling drawn to Twilight ever since she first saw her in her school for gifted unicorns. She recognized a bright mind. A filly eager to learn as much as possible about the world, always willing to give her all in order to achieve that goal, all the while possessing a soul so pure, it could never bear any ill-intent.
The times when Celestia was able to teach Twilight’s class herself were some of the happiest times for quite some time. Twilight taught her almost as much as she taught Twilight. She absolutely adored having her around, and those feelings only grew stronger the more time the two spent together. Eventually the sun princess devoted most of her spare time to the private lessons she offered the lavender unicorn, who was always more than happy to attend. By the time Twilight was old enough to be selected as her personal, most faithful student, the filly was almost like a daughter to her.
To now learn that her subject harbored feelings of similar intensity was most wonderful news.
It also awoke more unpleasant thoughts in Celestia. Once more she let a pony she cared for immensely dangerously close. Once more she ran the risk of corrupting somepony she loved. She seemed to have that effect.
The alicorn thought back to her sister and the student that had filled Twilight’s position a few years ago. Ponies she cared for, ponies she let close, ponies that strayed away from their path….
Was she going to cause the effect in Twilight? Was she once again going to be the cause of one of her dear subject’s demise?
Those questions echoed in her mind, picking up in volume with every moment that passed.
Sorrow filled her mind and threatened to take over. Thoughts she had buried a month ago once again resounded in her head.
Should she distance herself from Twilight? Should she deny her the personal tutelage?
Surely it would deeply sadden the young unicorn, and it would sadden Celestia herself in kind, but perhaps it was for the best… After all, while it would be a tough decision, it may safe her student from falling victim to the same fate the other’s did. And Twilight was her responsibility now…
Determination was able to push past the thick fog of sorrow, lending her the power to finally abandon her doubts. Now that she knew how much she meant to the little filly, she couldn’t abandon her. Not for any reason. Because through all of her self- doubts, through all of her sorrow and all of her ridiculous self-destructive thinking, tonight she managed to get one thing right:
Twilight was her responsibility now.
Celestia looked down at Twilight, gently nudging the unicorn’s cheek with her muzzle.
“Do not worry, my dearest Twilight. I would never stop caring about you. I love you very much, and you could never disappoint me in such a grave manner. Especially not because of some silly test.”
Twilight let out another sniff before looking up to Celestia. Her eyes were wet from all the crying she had already done and from being on the brink of it now. A stray ray of moonlight which was shining through the window reflected itself in them, causing the filly’s eyes to sparkle slightly.” You really mean it?”
The mentor draped a wing over her student, pulling her closer with it. Afterwards, Celestia went from a sitting position to laying down beside Twilight , her wing still casting a comfortable veil of warmth over the filly. The alicorn then elicited a light chuckle “Of course I do. You mean the world to me.”
The unicorn stopped sniffing and a bright smile formed on her face. “Thank you, Princess.”
“You are very welcome, my most faithful student. Now, before we sleep, do you wish for me to read you a story?”
Twilight’s ears perked up, and her voice was now filled with joy “Yes, please do!”
By means of yellow magic, a book was floating out of a nearby shelf and towards the two ponies laying on the bed. Once it was right in front of Celestia’s muzzle, she opened it and started reading aloud “The adventures of Gusty the Great….”
About eighty pages later Celestia’s reading was interrupted by a snore coming from the unicorn filly next to her. The alicorn smiled warmly and used her magic to stow the book away. Slowly, in order not to wake Twilight, she got herself into sleeping position and closed her eyes. One last thought crossed her mind before slipping into the soothing realm of slumber.
Luna, Sunset. I promise i will not let your tragedies repeat. I will do whatever it takes to ensure Twilight has a bright future, and will not succumb to evil, like I caused the two of you to do…
Author's Note
Hope you enjoyed 
