Moving Day

by Wolf Head Brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2395

V and Blank are planning to move. So in a fit of terrible time organizing, she recruits Double Play as a way of making things go smoother

It's time. The very day Epic V has been dreading for the last couple of weeks has finally dawned it's ugly flank.

Moving day.

Remembering the last time she moved and keeping in mind that it was like going through a version of Tartarus that would make Tirek cry like a new born foal, she has recruited Double Play to help her and Blank Check make the process less stressful. Nothing can go wrong now.

....That's what she thought, anyway.
----------------------
Mane 3!

Epic V
Blank Check
Double Play
------------------------

Beware!
Language and lewd thoughts or conversations [No Clop]

Published 2017-10-29 16:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-29 16:50:06 UTC

Zero Hour

It was late night in downtown Manehattan. The perfect time for a pony who took great appreciation in the nightlife of the big city. Nothing was open but clubs and bars and if you wasn't careful you'd probably run into the wrong crowd at the worst time. The only things illuminating the streets were dim street lamps and bright neon sings that hung in the front of night clubs and on the sides of buildings as billboards. It was truly the city that never slept. Even though the ponies that lived there really thought it needed a nap from time to time.

In a rather quite corner in downtown Manehattan stood this small Jazz bar called "The Musical Neigh". It was a pretty small establishment where ponies could go, vibe out to some relaxing jazz and drink some good cider for reasonable prices. The pony that was preforming that night was a unicorn stallion by the name of Gutiu Serenade. He had the crowd in his hooves as he played his tuba in a way that made you think he was preforming sweet oral coitus on the instrument. Judging from the smooth sounds Gutiu made the tuba emit, everypony in the crowd just assumed that the tuba never consented to the experience, but never regretted it either and left it at that. Amidst the small group of ponies sitting at their tables either sipping at their drinks or just enjoying the atmosphere or both, were Epic V and Blank Check. They've been there for some time now. Sitting in the dark jazz club only being slightly visible due to the soft lights coming form either the bar or the small stage. Chatting away and sipping on cider and enjoying each others company and sharing stories.

The night was going more and more splendid as time went on. V took another sip of her cider-

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Out of nowhere and totally unprompted, there was this very loud and very annoying beeping sound that caught V completely off guard. In fact, she was sure that if she swallowed her cider a moment later, it would be a pretty safe bet that she would be choking on it right now. Quickly looking up from her glass, she spotted the source of the noise. Oddly enough it was coming from Blank. Blank was sitting across from V but this time he was just staring at her with this very unsettling expression on his face , opening and closing his muzzle as wide as he could in perfect rhythm with the loud beeps. Which did nothing but add to the confusion of the situation.

Just before V could have the tiniest moment to try and make sense of this problem that didn't seem to have an answer to begin with. (Or an explanation for that matter) Blank disappeared. The bar disappeared. The music disappeared. The ponies disappeared. Everything just... vanished. Nothing was left but complete and total darkness and the loud and insufferable beeps.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"...Uugh. ...Wha?"

Slowly but surely, V began to stur and move around under the sheets of her bed. Finally opening her eyes just for her very first sight of the day to be a red muzzle that was poking out from the confines of a silver mane that has somehow found it's way to the front of Blanks face, covering his eyes.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Nnnnooooo..... I don't wanna be awake. Take me baaaaack....." V laid there and grumbled and mumbled and protested for a few seconds. But as the noise went on, she was hit with the same realization that hit her every single morning. The noise wasn't gonna stop unless she turned around and pressed the button. So in a very sensible and adult bird horse like fashion, V decided to attempt to turn off the alarm by making as little movement as physically possible. So for the next 7 minutes or so, V, while still facing Blank, extended one of her forelegs behind her. Reaching for the clock on the night stand on her side of the bed without seeing it. Believing that if she could pull this stunt off, she'd be some kind of savant in turning off alarm clocks. This is what she told herself every morning. And needless to say, every morning her strategy was met with a 169% failure rate. "Come on.... Come ONNN" She continued to stretch with no result. She finally stopped reaching but still didn't move from her position. On this particular morning for one reason or another V had convinced herself that if she turned around to turn off that alarm it would be some sort of personal defeat. Like a sharp blow to her dignity that would never heal. Obviously this wasn't what it actually was. If anything it was just a very severe case of "early morning stubbornness". But whatever V had to tell herself to justify her current actions, you bet your flank she'll do it. No questions asked.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Covering her ears and refusing to be defeated by a cheap alarm clock that Arua Sky had given her as a "gag gift", she came up with a plan B. She figured that if her back was turned to the alarm then she'd just turn it off with one of her wings. Wings were kinda like an extra set of appendages for a pegasus anyway. So in the most basic of thinking, it should work. So with that, V extended her wings outward. And to the surprise of nopony but V, she made the situation far worse for herself.

BEEP BEEP*CLUNK*BEEP BEEP

Her plan kinda worked but in a "snips and snails" sorta way. Her wing reached the clock like she wanted it to, but she extended too far and pushed it off the table and onto the floor. After she heard the thud of the hard plastic hit the wooden floor, V was overcome with an unrelenting wave of sadness and disappointment that she's never felt before. Not having any other options, she shuffled herself away form Blank's face and out of bed. Located the alarm clock that was sitting at her hooves. And resorted to headbutting it out of petty rage.

BEEP*BANG*BEEP*BANG*BEEP*BANG*beeee......

She didn't do it with enough force to shatter it into pieces but she DID do it with enough force to make the beeping stop without pressing the button. "Ow! My Fucking Head! CELESTIA THAT HURT!" She cradled her head in her hoof, massaging her forehead vigorously. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" She pulled her hoof away from her head for a moment to check if she was bleeding. After she got the visual confirmation that she wasn't, she just kept on rubbin'. V looked over to Blank to see if she had disturbed him. Despite what has taken place in the last 20 minutes (Professional acts of laziness, the vicious assault of a small bedroom appliance and very VERY loud outburst of profanity that was so vulgar it would make Iron Will change is name to "Not-So-Iron Will") Blank was not disturbed in the slightest. He just laid there just as he was when she opened her eyes.

Blank has very high and uncanny tolerance levels for loud noises when it came to sleep. In V's eyes it was sort of like a weird superpower he had. Kinda like how Pinkie Pie could just put anything out of her mane even though her mane is not big enough to contain anything she ever pulls out of it. You'd think after shes spent two and a half years with him she'd have some sort of idea as to how he's able to do that. Maybe she could learn how to do it herself.

Spoiler Alert: She never figured it out

So shes just left standing there looking at him with the differing thoughts of tender lewdness and seething jealousy. Heck, the only way she could tell that he didn't die in his sleep was the subtle rising and lowering of the covers on top of him.

There was a third member of the small household though. She was much smaller and, in perfect contrast to Blank Check, a very light sleeper. Which V was not a fan of at all. The smallest member of the home didn't spare anytime making her presence known as sounds of crying and whaling came from a small room adjacent to their bedroom. Still cradling her head and drowsy, V made her way to the door on the side of the room. Opening it and coming through the doorway to a orange alicorn foal.

Upon spotting V, the orange foal went from distressed to excited on the turn of a bit. Reaching her small arms out of the side of her crib as far as she could, beckoning V to come and pick her up. "Good morning my little ball of sunshine!" V said to her baby, making her way over to the crib and smiling through her cranial pain.

The closer V got to the crib, to more excited the orange foal became. "Ooo! Does somepony want upsies?!" The tiny alicorn just nodded in response as she was still holding out her arm's to V.

V lowered her head over the side of the crip, prompting the foal to climb up and she did with no hesitation. Unlike Shining Armor's and Princess Cadance's baby. V's child still couldn't fly despite her having wings that were just as big as V's at the age of 5 months. So whenever she crawled on top of her, she always flapped her wings out of fear of falling off the side of her face. No matter how strong her grip was.

But V's daughter IS an alicorn though. So at birth she was fitted for a "Null Ring" which is a magic nullifying ring that is put on the base of a unicorns horn to cancel out their magic. Before the birth of Flurry Heart they were used on unicorn prisoners of war and were only removed after Princess Celestia had them publicly executed.

V often chuckles at the fact that her daughter has a null ring because she keeps calling the process of sliding it on the horn "A circumcision for magical horses" even though.

This process has nothing in common with a circumcision

And

Blank told her to stop calling it that

So with a baby on board, V decided that now is officially the moment that she needed to start her day. A few factors to help her make this bold decision was the fact that her head was still throbbing so she needed Advil form the bathroom. Another was the fact that due to her late night escapades, her mouth tasted like a big steamy plate of Blank Check. So she made her way to the bathroom in an attempt to make herself look presentable.

Coming out of the foals room and turning the corner to make it to the bathroom that was down the small hallway, the orange foal briefly waved to her still very unconscious father, Blank Check before both of them disappear behind the bathroom doorframe. V flicked the switch on the wall that made the lights turn on. She went over to the sink and began evaluating herself in the mirror just like any other mare would. To her surprise, she didn't look as bad as she thought she did. But she still felt like crap.

She spared no time opening the cabinet and obtaining the bottle of Advil. She took 2 and put the bottle back where it belonged. She then reached behind her head and grabbed her daughter with one arm, and set her down on the side of the sink in front of her. V got her tooth and the toothpaste and started brushing her teeth like it was the end of the world and pony Jesus wouldn't let you into pony heaven unless you had clean teeth.

Riddled on the sides of the bathroom mirror where "V's grown up priority notes" or at least that's what Blank called them. They we're actually a rectangular cluster of sticky notes going around the frame of the mirror. Ranked from highest priority to lowest priority using only two colours. Red was high and blue was low. V read them as she continued to brush and the alicorn foal very contently nibbled at the dull end of Blank's brush.

Some of the blue low priority notes were as followed:

Remind Blank that he's the best thing that's ever happened to you

Never buy Lego's for your daughter ever again

Return Lost's scary movies that she let you borrow

Some of the red high priority notes were as followed:

Never dip below a diamond rank in competitive Overwatch

Attend the 65th annual vegan burrito eating contest at Chipotle AND WIN THIS TIME

Make sure that my daughters first world is V ~~and not Blank~~

So on and so forth. But as V continued to brush her teeth. There was one not that began to stick out amongst the rest. The odd thing about this particular note was that it was on a blue sticky note but the message itself was in thick made with a red marker with a wide tip. There were only three things written on the note. One was a time for 5pm. Another was the current date and the final thing was simply the word:

Moving

That word by itself took up 65% of the note. Leaving the other parts of the message in the corners. "Moving....? Why does this say moving on it?" V peeled it from the mirror and inspected it for a few moments until the answer she had been looking for came to her. The realization itself hit her way harder than Rainbow coming to terms with her closeted lesbain fellings for Fluttershy ever could. She's scheduled to move out of her house today at 5pm. And she didn't pack a single thing.

"FFFFFFFFFFFF-"

V glanced down at her daughter, who was still preoccupied with Blanks toothbrush. But she was still at an age where she could imitate anything she heard or saw. So she couldn't take any chances.

"-FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDGGGGGGGGGEEEEEE!!!"