How to Date a Princessby Piemaster128ChaptersBonus Chapter: How to Date a Princess Bloopers!The GalaThe Gala REWRITE (now with 50% more story, 20% more friends, 15% more Pinkie, and 100% more sassy narration)Bonus Chapter: How to Date a Princess Bloopers!Writing a story? Is HARD. Filming a movie? Is harder. So in honor of Pixar and their old habit of creating animated bloopers, here is another installment of ‘What if this story was a Pixar movie with animated bloopers?’ Enjoy! Flash the forgetful… Nodding at his reflection, Flash turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door, closing it behind him and— “CUT!” the director yelled, before sighing. “Flash, what did you forget?” Flash blinked, then facehoofed. “The rose,” he groaned. “Why do I keep forgetting that!?” “I don’t know, but please try to remember next time, ok?” “Write a note on your hoof!” the editor shouted helpfully from across the room. Take 3… Nodding at his reflection, Flash turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and put his hoof on the door. “FLOWER!” Flash let out a very startled, ungentlemanly squawk and jumped about a mile. Or, at least, he WOULD have jumped about a mile if there wasn’t a big wooden door in the way. Instead, he smacked right into it with a hearty smack and a loud ‘OW!’ “CUT!” the director shouted. “RAINBOW!” “WHAT?” the colorful pony yelled from her spot hovering above the rest of the crew. “I’m helping!” “No, you’re not!” Flash called, rubbing the back of his head. “You’re REALLY NOT!” Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out. “Don’t make me get my snow clouds to freeze your tail off!” “OOOOOOH, snowball fight!” “Pinkie, NO!” Take 7… Nodding at his reflection, Flash turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door. Once again, without the flower. The director groaned internally and was ready to yell cut again, but Flash immediately facehoofed, turned on a dime, went back in, grabbed the purple rose with no thorns that lay on top of his dresser, and left again. All while staying in character. The director paused, then gave the sign to keep filming. It wasn’t too bad, all things considered. That little blunder was fitting for Flash’s character in the rewrite. That, and the director wasn’t sure Flash would be any less forgetful in the next seven takes they might try. After the shot… “I got it! I got through the part! I salvaged it!” Flash beamed proudly to everypony who would listen. “He sounds like Simmer,” the editor whispered to the director, giggling. The director did have to chuckle at little at that. “Just try not to be that forgetful in every scene you’re in, ok?” he called to Flash. “We have enough problems with blooper reels as it is…” Twilight the pretty… “Well…” Twilight asked nervously, not making eye contact with Flash. “How do I look?” Flash blinked, his mouth working as a blush crept over his face. “You’re so beautiful…you made me forget my lines…” Twilight’s eyes went wide before she burst out giggling. Flash was no better, and soon any semblance of plot was lost. “CUT!” the director yelled. “Really, Flash? I know Rarity did a good job with the dress, but that’s the entire reason why we had you see her in the dress before we started filming!” “Wait, what? Rarity said that was canceled due to a scheduling conflict!” Flash protested, pointing a hoof at the fashionista, who was currently trying to sneak under a table. The director facehoofed. “Rarity…” “I couldn’t help it!” she protested, half on the floor and seemingly not caring about it in the least. “It was the perfect dress! And what better way to capture his true reaction than to have it be a surprise for him for real! And now that you have that, I’m sure the editor can find a way to work it in!” “I don’t know anything about video editing!” the editor protested. “The video editor, dear, not the writing editor,” Rarity clarified. “Ahhh, ok!” the editor exclaimed with an understanding nod. “You gotta admit, boss,” the narrator said, “it was a pretty sweet love-struck look he had there.” The camerapony and sound pony both nodded enthusiastically as well. “You are all such conspirators,” the director sighed, double-facehoofing. “RESET!” Too much Script! Twilight quickly recovered, rolled her eyes, and lightly punched his shoulder as she finally got her blushing under control. “Ha ha, very funny, Mr. Romance. Anything else you need to do as my date?” “Well, let’s see,” Flash said, reaching into his suit and pulling out— The script! “We’re going to have some playful flirting after I find out you had the announcer give me a title, we’ll get to see Bull Horn be knocked down a peg by the girls and Pinkie, we get to dance, I get to make funny faces at Money Bags—hey, stop laughing, I’m not done yet!” he said, continuing to flip through the pages as Twilight tried, and failed, to stop her torrent of laughter. “CUT!” Flashy nappy… “Also surprising was that Princess Twilight had, on their first day, told them to just call her ‘Twilight,’ saying that she didn’t want the ponies who would be working so closely with her to call her ‘Princess’ all the time,” the narrator continued to narrate dramatically. “This had been the first time a princess had specifically asked not to be referred to by her title, so—” THUMP! Everypony jumped as Flash fell to the ground with a loud clang of armor, startling him into a panic. “GAH! I’M AWAKE!” he cried, sitting up and realizing that everypony was staring at him. Everypony save for Spike, who simply rolled to the other side of his throne and continued snoring. “CUT! Did you REALLY just fall asleep? In the MIDDLE of shooting? While STANDING?” “Hey, when you are a guard, you need to sleep where you can,” Flash said, yawning as Twilight giggled from her throne. “And I was up all night making sure I didn’t forget the script again.” “Is THAT why you pulled it out yesterday?” the director asked with an annoyed growl. “No, that was Pinkie’s idea! She thought it would be funny!” “And it was!” the pink pony shouted from…what seemed to be an actual hammock stretched across the top of one of the stained glass windows. Twilight was in full-blown hysterics by now. The director, meanwhile, was very much not. “Pinkie, get DOWN!” “Can I borrow that when we’re done here?” Flash asked. “It looks realllly comfy.” “You betcha!” Long-Winded snorted so hard that he started to cough, and when one of the neighboring ponies thumped him on the back, he dropped to the floor in a fit of giggles. The director rolled his eyes. “Okay, take five, everypony. Except you, Flash. You take nap.” “OKAY!” Flash exclaimed, and promptly fell over and went back to sleep. The editor couldn’t help but laugh her flank off as the director just sighed and got up to go get some white hot chocolate. Something told him he was going to need it. Bull Horn and the Sprout “Thank goodness,” Twilight muttered. “If I had to hear one more thing about his collection of clocks…” She sighed, slumping even further. “Please tell me that’s all,” she begged, looking at Flash pleadingly. Flash just smiled. “Yes, Twilight, he was the last meeting you had for the da—” BANG! SMACK! “OWHOW!” Bull Horn let out a pained cry as the doors he had just dramatically kicked open bounced off the wall and promptly smacked him in the face. They even slowly swung back open to reveal the actor sitting on his flank as he held his bruised nose, the two guards behind him trying not to laugh. “CUT! I know the Gen 5 movie came out recently, but please try not to emulate Sprout and doors in future takes, ok?” the director sighed as he took a gulp of his white hot chocolate. “I’ll try,” Bull Horn said around the tissue a stagehoof had given him. “I will really, really try. I’ll use an ounce less kick next time.” “Hey if you want, I could show you how to do it without getting smacked in the face,” Sprout called out, his head popping out from the doors leading off set. “Sprout, no,” The director deadpanned. “You’re nose JUST finished healing from the police station accident that made it into the G5 movie. We don’t need your nose becoming as red as your coat all over again. And trust me, if that was going to happen again, this would be the set where it happens.” “How about an ounce less bounce? Oh, oh, or maybe an ounce less Sprout! Or an ounce more Izzy!” Pinkie chirped from off to the side. “How exactly do you have an ounce less me?” Sprout asked, looking very confused. “Don’t question it! It’s Pinkie!” The editor called out not-at-all-helpfully. “Got it. Just treat her like Izzy,” Sprout agreed with a nod, earning some laughter from the rest of the ponies on set, including the director. Face-table, not to be confused with facebook… “Yes, Twilight, he was the last meeting you had for the da—” BANG! Flash reacted on his well-trained guard instincts, leaping onto the table in order to block the princess from view before he even realized who was standing in the doorway. Well, that’s what he TRIED to do. What ACTUALLY happened was that his hoof caught on the edge of the table, and rather than protectively jump in front of Twilight, he instead pitched forward and landed face-first on the table with a loud crash of armor. “Flash! Are you ok?” Twilight cried in a panic, helping the dazed pegasus sit up. “Yus, I’m ok, pretty purple pony princess,” he slurred, his eyes spinning in different directions. “I just invented facetabling!” “CUT! We’re taking five while the doc checks on Flash,” the director called, Fluttershy already rushing onto the set. “Someone make sure the table is enchanted against any further issues. Bull Horn, good entrance. Do it just like that for the next take.” “Yus, good job, Horn Ball,” a clearly-very-dizzy Flash slurred in agreement as Twilight helped him get settled on the floor. “Do I gets a lollypop, Flutterbye?” “I do have some sugarfree ones if you’re good,” Fluttershy said, giggling at Flash’s dopey smile. “Yay!” “Are you still filming?” the editor asked, looking at the camerapony. “You are! Why are you still filming?” “Because it’s cute! And we need another awesome blooper reel!” Suddenly, dessert! However, before he or Twilight could reply to Bull Horn’s remark, a loud belch echoed through the chamber. Turning his head, Flash caught the end of the green fire escaping from Spike’s mouth as it condensed into… An entire dessert table!? Sure enough, an entire table laden with sugary treats (at least one-fourth of which were cake) came crashing down on the table map. Flash flinched, but somehow all the deliciousness didn’t fly all over the place. The only that that went flying was a single cupcake, which promptly did a cupcake-style cartwheel and stuck itself perfectly on Twilight’s horn. Pinkie held up a 10 sign. “That was PERFECT!” “CUT!” the director yelled. “Celestia—” “Sorry! I was just…having a little snack, and I sneezed just I was about to send the letter,” the large mare said, sheepishly moving away from where the food table had previously been stationed. “I didn’t expect it to send the whole table on accident though.” “Any chance I can have you do that the next time I have a big party in need of concessions?” Pinkie asked curiously. “We can discuss that later, Pinkie,” Celestia said, giggling as the director facehooved. “I should have known your love of cake would one day lead to a blooper reel,” he groaned. “But honey! Look!” the editor cheered. “They have brownies!” Gassy Horn… “I WILL NOT!” Twilight commanded. “YOU don't have the authority to decide who I take to the Gala, Bull Horn, just like you don't get to open a dangerous gem mine on protected land or start a lumber factory in the Everfree Forest.” “You little—bUUUUUURRRPP!” Duke Bull Horn let out an enormous belch, hastily covering his mouth to try and muffle the sound. Spike burst out laughing, falling back in his chair. Flash and Twilight managed to hold out for a few more seconds before they were also consumed by the giggle bug. Bull Horn blushed. “Note to self, avoid the super bubbly seltzer before filming,” he said with such a note of deadpan seriousness that the ponies on the set could only laugh harder. “CUT!” Teleportation mishaps… “Now GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!” Twilight bellowed. And with that, Bull Horn vanished in the flash of Twilight's teleportation spell… Only to reappear directly above Flash! The orange pegasus could only let out a startled ‘MEEP!’ before Bull Horn crashed into him, leaving both ponies in a groaning tangle of limbs. “Ow…” “Why???” “CUT! Twilight—” “I did the spell as instructed!” Twilight said, frantically levitating Bull Horn off Flash. “And it worked the other five times we’ve practiced it!” “I found the problem!” a technician called out. “The receiver wasn’t turned on, so with no destination, the teleport just returned to the sender! Not sure why it made him appear above Flash, though. It might just be a glitch. ” “For the love of—” the director exclaimed, faceclipboarding. “Can we PLEASE double check the tech from now on? We’ve had enough physical mishaps already, and the last thing we need is for something to go so wrong that we’ll have medical bills to worry about on top of everything else!” IZZY! Twilight’s eyes stopped glowing and she sank down into her throne before facetabling on the crystal map. Or, at least, she would have facetabled on the crystal map if Flash hadn't grabbed a pillow from underneath the table and slid it between her head and the tabletop. However, the moment her head hit the pillow, it exploded in a burst of red glitter. “GAH, wha-pfff-What the hay!?” Twilight cried, spitting out a mouthful of sparkles. “Ok, who messed with my prop this time!?” Flash groaned. “And why did you fill the pillow with—” “GLITTER!” Izzy Moonbow cried, popping up next to Spike, startling him so bad he fell out of his throne. “GLITTER! GLITTER! GLITTER!” She bounded over to the map, grabbed hooffuls of the remains of Twilight’s pillow, and excitedly threw them into the air. “IZZY!” the editor yelled in perfect blend of exasperation and amusement. “What? How could I not come when I heard there was glitter?” Izzy asked innocently as the nearby ponies were busy trying to not get completely covered in sparkly stuff she was throwing around. “CUT!” the director shouted. “Izzy, get back to your set! You’re needed for Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark AND the next chapter of How to Meet Your Daughter.” “But—but GLITTER!” “I will save you the glitter,” the editor promised. “YAY!” “For later!” “Aww…” Boop the pony… “Enhancements, darling. This is not only her first Gala as a PRINCESS, but her first Gala with a DATE as well.” She smiled and winked at him. “I had to make her look her best, so I added a bit more flare by redoing the cosmos patters to be more FABULOUS. So what do YOU think, darling? Hmmmmm?” Rarity asked, leaning in towards Flash dramatically. Flash blinked, smiled, and then booped Rarity on the nose, prompting the fashion pony to let out a startled squeak as her eyes crossed. “Boop!” There was maybe a two second pause before everypony on set, including the support staff and editor, burst out laughing. “C-CUT!” the director called, trying to suppress his own laughter. “Flash, please try to stick to the script.” “Oh, come on, honey. We both know you would do the same thing in his place!” the editor said, playfully draping herself over the arm of his chair. The director just chuckled, giving the editor a boop. “True, case in point. But alas, that wasn’t something that fits enough for us to use, so let’s set this up again!” Why you should always check the manual… “Fair point,” Rarity conceded, nodding. Flash shrugged. He had no experience with the Gala, so he decided to just go with the flow on this one. However, he was surprised when he and Twilight were ushered to the first chariot on their own. Judging by the look of shock and confusion on Twilight’s face, he guessed she was too. When they looked questioningly at Rarity, she said, “A princess should enter first, and who better to escort her off the chariot than her date?” However, at the exact moment Flash touched the chariot door, the entire chariot completely collapsed in on itself. Every possible piece that could break did so in under ten seconds. The cushions inside ripped apart, the walls crumpled in, and the wheels popped off and went rolling away so dramatically that crewmembers had to avoid them. Flash, somehow, didn’t even flinch, and just stood there in shock as the chaos unfolded around him. When the dust settled, he was left there, holding the door next to the pile of scrap that had once been the prop carriage. No pony said anything, until Derpy’s voice rang out over the set. “Oh, so THAT’S what this bolt was for!” “CUT!” Watch the wind “When they landed outside the large golden doors at the main entrance, Flash hopped out and—pfffffftttt!” The narrator stopped narrating and raspberried so hard spit flew from his mouth and his script pages dropped from his hooves. “What on earth—“ the director started. But then he saw what happened. Flash and Twilight had emerged from the carriage with some of the most windswept, messy manes that the director had ever seen. Twilight’s seemed determined to tie itself in knots around the jewels in her hair, and Flash’s looked like three of Fluttershy’s small animals had fought for the right to make a nest on his head. For a second, no pony said anything. Then the editor raspberried into her clipboard and Flash, Twilight, and the director all burst into laughter. “I think we need SOME level of wind control on the carriage ride next time, please?” Twilight said once her laughter calmed down. “I think you’re right,” the editor said, pointing behind them. The other carriages were parking nearby and the other Bearers were disembarking looking just as disheveled as the main couple. Rainbow was grinning at Applejack and Fluttershy was shyly petting her own mane, but Rarity in particular looked very frazzled. “Combs! Don’t worry, everypony! I have combs!” “I think that’s a good cue to cut,” the director said as Flash and the rest of the crew broke out into even more laughter. An ounce too much stomp… “What is the meaning of this?” a familiar loud and very annoying voice sounded. Flash couldn’t help it this time. He facehoofed and turned to the left, catching sight of Duke Bull Horn angrily stomping towards the group. CRACK! Only for his hoof to stomp right though the floor, causing the duke to fall on his face in hilarious fashion. Twilight snorted, trying not to laugh. Something that became even harder when the duke sat up and then tried to free his leg. “I…appear to be stuck,” he admitted, blushing slightly in embarrassment. “CUT! An ounce less stomp next time,” the director said as Twilight helped the duke free his leg with her magic. “I’m starting to think I’m too good at my role of being a jerk noble,” Bull Horn said. “I think that it just shows that you’re such a good actor, our set can’t keep up with you,” the director said with a grin. “All right, let’s set up again.” Frosted noble… “Pardon me, my good sir,” Pinkie said, giggling at her own funny accent. The duke spun around, most likely to start shouting, only to squeak as he came face to face with a large cannon pointed directly at him. Pinkie was lying on top of it, her pose turning quite a few heads. SQUEE! However, before she could speak, the cannon fired, sending her tumbling off with a startled squeak. Duke Bull Horn, meanwhile, was blasted with a pure wall of frosting, leaving him completely engulfed in a blob of light-blue frosting. “CUT! PINKIE!” “SORRY! I forgot to change the munitions!” Pinkie cried from the ground. “It wasn’t supposed to be loaded at ALL!” the director cried before facehoofing. He was going to have a red mark on his forehead at this rate. “Mmmm, blueberries,” Bull Horn said, licking the frosting away around his mouth. “Bull Horn, please.” Slightly bruised noble “Pardon me, my good sir,” Pinkie said, giggling at her own funny accent. The duke spun around… And promptly smacked his nose on the party cannon. “Oooooh…” Bull Horn said, staggering back. “Sorry!” Pinkie cried, scrambling to sit up. Unfortunately, she was lying in such a strange position to start with that she accidentally kicked Bull Horn in the face and sending the duke straight to his flank. “SORRY!” “Oh dear,” Bull Horn said. “Perhaps our dear director is right. I’m becoming so good at being a jerk noble that even our props are trying to take me down a peg!” Before Pinkie could respond to that, the party cannon let out a low whine, lowered its barrel, and poofed a puff of confetti on Bull Horn’s head. The duke and the pink pony locked eyes, and then busted out laughing. “I think that’s enough party cannon scenes for today,” the director said, shaking his head and taking a gulp of white hot chocolate. “CUT!” MY CABBAGES (AND OTHER RANDOM OBJECTS)!!! As a nearby guard approached, Pinkie pulled out… A cabbage? The guard looked extremely confused, as did Pinkie. “Wait, that’s not right. Hold on,” she said, throwing away the cabbage and reaching back into her mane again. Then she pulled out a banana. “Nope!” “Oh, hi Woona!” she said, pulling out the small version of Luna from ‘A moon in the dark.’ “Sorry, I was looking for Toby again,” Woona said. As though on cue, a small dog barked from inside Pinkie’s mane before jumping out and running off with Woona’s cell phone. “Hey, get back here!” the small pony yelled, running off. The director felt a headache beginning to develop. “Nope!” Pinkie said, pulling out a rubber ball next. “Oh, that’s for Izzy,” – a bottle of red glitter. “Thanks for holding that for me!” the editor called. “Oh, hi Gummy!” Pinkie cheered, pulling out her baby alligator. Gummy just licked his own eye, as everypony tried to not laugh. “Nope!” – a Mr. Potato Head, one that appeared to be filled with playdough. “I swear I got it this time!” Pinkie said, sticking her hoof as far in as it could go and pulled out… Caboose’s helmet. “How did this even get in there?” she asked “You’re just asking that now?” the editor called out over her laughter. “CUT!!!!!!” Name calling… The ballroom was off to the right through another set of doors, but Flash was distracted from looking inside by the fact that Celestia wasn’t in her normal place on the grand staircase. Was she actually running late? Flash never though he’d see the day. However, before he could ponder it further, he was distracted again as he and Twilight were announced by a well-dressed pony by the front door. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her escort, Sir Flash Sentry, the Extremely Fluffy!” Twilight nearly tripped over her own hooves as she burst out laughing. Flash just looked extremely confused, as did the announcer pony. “I mean, he’s not wrong, but I don’t think that’s the right line,” Flash said, sounding like a math student who had just found a question about ancient Equestria on his test. Twilight just laughed harder. “CUT! Ok, who messed with the script this time?” the director demanded, looking around the crew with a decerning glare. The editor smiled innocently, though a few seconds of intense staring broke through her defenses. “Ok, yes, fine, that was me. But it was Discord’s idea!” “But you were the one who made the changes,” Discord said, walking out of the dressing room in preparation for his appearance in the next scene. “I didn’t even need to use my magic to adjust the script.” He snapped his talon, and suddenly Flash was three times fluffier than he was previously, much to Twilight’s amusement. “Now THAT was me!” The director just double-facehoofed. “Um, sir? You’re starting to develop a large red spot on your forehead,” the cameraman said shyly. “If somepony other than the editor thinks I’m the Avatar, Tempest has the right to suplex them,” the director groaned. “Sweet,” Tempest said from over near the ice cream station. The plot needs a rewrite… Nodding in agreement, the three of them made their way towards the garden. So all that left was Pinkie. “I’ll go disappear until the plot demands me,” Pinkie said, bouncing off into the ballroom. Uhhhhhh… the director thought before snapping back to his senses. “CUT! PINKIE! STICK TO THE SCRIPT PLEASE!” “But I DID!” Pinkie exclaimed, pouting slightly. The director blinked, before quickly grabbing the script and opening it to the scene in question. Rather than there being a specific line for Pinkie to say, all that was written was ‘Pinkie does something fun or silly, then leaves.’ “What the, who wrote that in the script?” The director asked no pony in particular. “You did, you silly pony,” The editor said playfully, giving the director a quick kiss on the cheek. The director blinked, then just shrugged. “Huh. Fair enough. Alright, we’re going to keep going. Flash and Twilight, just keep those extremely confused looks on your faces!” “That won’t be a problem!” Flash said, his face still very much indicating that he had lost the plot entirely. Too much wall… “So, you’re NOT going to make this night chaotic for us?” Flash asked in suspicion. “Not that I’m complaining, but you ARE the lord of chaos, right?” “Right,” Discord said, smirking. “But the script says I can’t be chaotic, so my paw and claw are tied.” On cue, a set of hoofcuffs appeared over his arms. “CUT! For the love of—you LITERALLY have a fourth-wall joke in less than ONE MINUTE!” the director cried in frustration as Twilight and Flash laughed. “Could you not have just waited, for ONE MINUTE!?” “Oh, but where would be the fun in that?” Discord said with an innocent smile. “Besides, we both know that I need to make at least ONE blooper everytime I show up in one of your stories. It’s just tradition.” Miraculously, the red spot on the director’s forehead didn’t get any bigger. The editor comically missing the point… “Oh, she did, did she?” Discord said, pausing briefly to look above and behind Flash and Twilight’s heads and wink. Flash thought he might be winking to Celestia and Luna, given his height, but upon turning around he found… The editor? “Hi!” the unicorn cheerily exclaimed, waving at the camera. “CUT! Honey, what are you doing on set?” the director groaned as his special somepony just blinked in confusion. “Well, Discord says he is winking at the reader in the next few lines, and since I’m the one who always reads your stories first—” “Sweetie, it’s a fourth wall joke.” A slowly dawning realization spread across her face. “Ohhhh. Right. I knew that when I edited this, but I guess I forgot…Oops,” she admitted, blushing adorably as she stepped to the side and everypony began to set up again. “Honey, how much sleep did you get last night?” “Enough.” “Really? Because I seem to recall getting a text from you at two a.m. this morning, and you were here by eight,” the director said, raising a playful eyebrow. “I had a bout of inspiration!” the editor defended, still very cutely red. “And I…may have been looking over a blog about Good Omens as inspiration for a new story.” “Fair enough, but maybe next time just write down the main idea and come back to it the next day, ok?” the director said, playfully booping her nose with a wing. “You need rest, too.” “Maaa,” the editor squealed, playfully batting away the wing. “Fine, I promise to try.” SPICY!!! “I’m fine,” Twilight said, eating a Hay Burger in just two bites. “WAIT! DON’T—” an orange pegasus yelled, bursting onto the set as fast as her legs could carry her. But it was too late. “HOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!” Twilight screamed and a full stream of fire erupted from her mouth. Flash immediately ducked for cover. It was a miracle only the table was set on fire before Twilight vanished in a pop, reappearing at the nearby fountain with her head submerged in the water. “CUT! Pie Crust, what in Equestria is going on NOW!?” the director yelled as the staff frantically put out the fire. “Your set is down the hall!” “Pinkie stole my Sun Spice for the dinner scene with Sparrow!” Pie Crust yelled, pointing a hoof at the shyly waving pink party pony. “And she DIDN’T read the warning label on them before hoof.” “Oh for—” the director facehoofed. “NO MORE MESSING WITH FOOD!” “PLEASE!” Twilight cried as she finally came up for air. “Especially because it usually affects me! I still haven’t forgotten the dark chocolate anvil from Freedom Shall Ring!” MY CAMERA!!!!! “Twilight,” Flash said firmly, causing her to stop and look at him. “I won’t mind, and I highly doubt anypony else will, if you need to eat more at dinner or lunch or during meetings because you have a fast metabolism. Doing something dangerous like teleporting food directly to your stomach is unnecessary. The only ponies that may possibly care are the nobles, and if they complain, you can just say ‘I’m a princess, I eat what I want!’ Uh uh uh—wait—” He held up his hoof like he was about to do a z-snap, only to seeming remember at the last second that he HAD HOOVES and no z-snapping was going to happen. Twilight let out a loud snort and banged her own hoof on the table… And hit the edge of her plate and sent it flying directly into the camerapony, knocking him and his tripod to the ground. “Sorry!” she cried, scrambling to get off the chair. “Shutter, are you ok?” “MY CAMERAAAA!!!” the camerapony yelled dramatically from the floor, but he was laughing as he wiped the remains of ketchup and ice cream off his lens. “MY FLOOOOOR!!!!” the janitor yelled from the back of the set. “I just cleaned that from the last take!” “MY CABBAGES!!!!” Pinkie yelled from wherever she was until the plot demanded her. “MY STOORRRRRRRY!!!!!!” the director yelled more dramatically than anyone, sending the editor into a fit of giggles. “I think it’s time to cut before we break anypony,” she said. Now…DO A SILLY FACE! “Bolemb omble bo,” Flash said with a grin. “What are you—” Money Bags angrily questioned, only for Flash to cut him off “Bobole boalalalahahahaha…” He SHOULD have kept going, but he proved completely unable to keep a straight face and dissolved into giggles. Not only that, but Twilight and Money Bags both lost it too, breaking out in laughter. “CUT!” “Sorry!” the orange pegasus said around his laughter. “It’s harder than it looks!” Take four… “Be quiet and let me—” “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—” “Bob levy bo—wait, that’s not right—” Money Bags and Twilight both snorted and dissolved into giggles as Flash realized he completely messed up AGAIN. “CUT!” the director yelled. “Come on, Flash! You can do this!” “No, I can’t!” Flash yelled back, breaking into laughter himself. “I have finally met the death of my acting career – insane nonsense noises!” Twilight was now laughing so hard she had crumpled to the floor and Money Bags looked quite ready to join her. “I think they broke,” the editor giggled, and the director had to admit she was probably right. “Meal time! Take a break!” he yelled in the voice of a certain crotchety spider, and grinned as the editor burst into full-on laughter. Take ten… “Would you—” “Bobele bo.” “What are you—” “Bolo.” “CUT!” “Aw, come on! What did I do wrong this time?” Flash yelled. “I was doing so good!” “Sorry, Flash, you got your noises out of order. ‘Bolo’ doesn’t come ‘til the end.” Now Flash facehoofed. “Really? REALLY? What does it matter? It’s NONSENSE noises! What does it matter what order I do them in?” “I think I might have messed him up too,” Money Bags said, rubbing the back of his head. “I also got my lines out of order.” “I thought something sounded different!” Twilight said. Flash, without lifting his hoof from his face, buffed Money Bags with his wing. “ACK!” “Okay, I feel a bit better now.” “Yeah, I think I deserved that.” “Reset!” Seven takes later… “Be quiet and let me—” “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—hohoho—” Money Bags began, only to burst out laughing as he completely broke character again. “Oh, come on, I had it that time!” Flash exclaimed in playful exasperation. Twilight just howled in laughter next to him. “CUT!” Another five takes later… “Bobele bo.” “Shut—” “Ombole.” “PFFFF!” Twilight snorted, breaking character and laughing her head off once again. This, of course, made Money Bags break character as well. “So close…” Flash sighed. “CUT!” Oh my! “And furthermore, nobility has no standing on who she is allowed to be with and trying to shame and harass her into being with someone of ‘equal standing’ is highly unacceptable. In fact, seeing as you are one of the nobles who STILL refuses to cast aside your class prejudice despite me and my sister constantly saying it is despicable, I don’t think I will be inviting you back to the Gala next year, as you clearly can’t be trusted to act with dignity,” Celestia said with an air of finality. “OH MY!” A smooth voice blasted from a nearby speaker, prompting everypony to spontaneously break character and laugh. Even Celestia wasn’t immune as she let out a loud, very un-lady like snort. “CUT! Really? REALLY? Why did you use THAT voice line? That is NOT what I meant when I wrote that part of the narration!” the director exclaimed in exasperation. “But it’s the perfect meme! You can’t get more perfect than that meme!” the narrator said in his defense. The director just glared at the narrator, who quickly got the message and simply smiled sheepishly as he slowly slid his phone away. “We are going to have so many good clips for the blooper reel,” the camerapony whispered to the camera. “So. MANY.” TIMBER!!! “Go ahead, Twilight,” Celestia said. “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Twilight laughed, falling to the side as her legs gave out. Celestia teleported over a large pillow for her to collapse onto. However, Twilight completely missed the cushion and fell to the ground with a grunt. “Ow…” “CUT! Wrong side, Twilight. Are you ok?” “Yeah, I’m ok,” Twilight groaned as Flash helped her stand back up. “Can we try that again?” Definitely Sisters… “We’ll just have to take a rain check on that then,” Flash said as Twilight stopped laughing and blushed like mad as she looked away from him. An appropriate reaction… “EEK!” BLAM! Everypony jumped and turned to the door. Luna was SUPPOSED to walk through it, but instead, the rest of the cast were greeted by the sight of a large blue horn skewered through the wood. The door slowly swung open, revealing an embarrassed Luna hanging limply by her embedded horn. “Um, oops?” she said sheepishly. “I, um, tripped…” Nopony moved for a few seconds. Then Celestia burst out laughing, nearly falling on top of Flash as she collapsed. “CUT! If there was any doubt you two were sisters, I think that can be put to rest,” the director said, unable to hide a small smile. Who would have thought tripping and stabbing your horn through doors was hereditary? Do the DJ shuffle! Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the song to end. DA da da-na da da DA da da-na da da DA da da-na da da DA-NA-NA-NO-NA-NA DA da da-na da DA da da-na da da! Instead of the cued-up wind music, a certain fish’s theme came blaring through the speakers, making Flash, Twilight, and all the extras exchange looks of amused confusion. “CUT!” “NGRAAH don’t cut, punk!” came a very familiar voice. “This is my JAM!” The director whipped his head around just in time to see Undyne’s head pop out of the crowd of ponies on set. And then Papryus slowly rose up next to her with his ‘Cool Dude’ shirt and a giant goofy grin. “What the—what are you two doing here?” the director yelled over the noise. “FEAR NOT, MOVIE PONIES!” Papyrus yelled back. “WE PROMISE TO ONLY ENHANCE YOUR ARTS AND CRAFTS EXPERIENCE!” “That’s right, Papyrus! NOW COME ON, PUNKS! SHOW ME HOW YOU GROOVE!!!!” The music, if possible, got even louder, and Undyne started throwing spears into the air like giant blue confetti. “This. Is. AWESOME!” Rainbow cheered. The director face-megaphoned, ignoring the way his hoof was tapping to the beat. “Somepony start passing around hard hats, please!” Take two… Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the song to end. IT’S THE FIGHT OF THE AGES, RED VERSUS BLUE! “What the HAY?” Flash called. “Are we doing a crossover now?” “CUT!” the director screamed. “Okay, who kidnapped the DJ? PINKIE!” “WHAT?” Pinkie yelled from wherever she was until the plot demanded her. “Au contraire, dear director,” Discord drawled, popping up behind the director’s chair and making him spill the last of his white hot chocolate all over himself. “This one was my choice.” The director frowned at him, licking a bit of chocolate off his hoof and making grumbly noises. “What? Your editor was singing it to herself earlier and I thought it was the perfect chaotic dance song!” He pointed his claw at the editor, who was indeed bopping her head and singing along. And she wasn’t the only one, since Pinkie had appeared out of nowhere and was now actively acting out the rap with herself as Church and a confused-looking Applejack as Sarge. The director opened his mouth and then shut it, shaking his head. “I have no words.” “Then my work is done!” Discord cheered, disappearing with a pop. “DID SOMEPONY SAY PULLOVER SWEATER?” Caboose screamed, running out of absolutely nowhere onto the set. Flash whipped around so quickly he would have fallen if Rarity hadn’t pulled out her fainting couch just in time. “CABOOSE!” Take three… Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the song to end. BOP…bopp…BOP…bopp…BOP…bopp… “Oh, for the love of—DISCORD!” “I already had my fun! It’s not me this time!” “Then WHAT—” Before the director could finish his question, there was a loud woof and a small, fluffy white dog tore across the set, barking happily. “Toby! Come back!” Woona cried, weaving around the legs of the bigger ponies with a certain yellow flower bouncing in a pot on her back. “WHY AM I HERE?” Flowey shouted. “I DON’T NEED TO BE HERE!” A couple of the extras tried to grab the Annoying Dog, but he avoided their grasp with practiced ease and launched himself right at Fluttershy, who reflexively caught him. “Oh!” she exclaimed softly, adjusting her hold on Toby. He smiled and licked her face, wagging his tail. “Oh, hello!” The director face-hooved, then double-face-hooved. “A dog. I have officially lost control to a DOG!” “His name is Toby!” Woona corrected. The director face-clipboarded because apparently face-hooving wasn’t enough. “I think that’s a cue to take lunch,” the editor said, patting the director on the back “Seriously, WHY AM I HERE?” HALLO! Flash caught up but chose to stay quiet as she randomly spouted facts about the new plants around her, many of which she must have found in books because she was Twilight. “HALLO!” Flash let out a startled whinny and leapt into Twilight’s hooves as a blue pony in armor – sans helmet – walked out from between the bushes. He raised his hoof and gave an excited wave. “CUT! Caboose! What are you doing here!?” the director yelled. “Yes, hello. I am Caboose from Spero! Has, anypony seen my helmet?” the blue pony asked, looking around in confusion. “A little voice said she was going to borrow it for a while, but now I can’t find it, and Church says I need it for the next salad. I don’t know why I need it for lunch, but I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about.” “Oh for—PINKIE! Give Caboose back his helmet! I swear, why did you even need that in the first place?” “You know, I can’t even remember myself,” Pinkie admitted with a small shrug and a smile. “But I’m sure I’ll remember eventually. Here you go, Caboosey!” A quick toss and the helmet laned perfectly back on Caboose’s head. “Thank you, pink candy pie pony! I will always remember your golden crust!” Caboose exclaimed, vanishing back into the bushes. The director was severely tempted to facehoof, but managed to avoid the impulse thanks to a quick kiss from the editor. DUCK AND ANVIL!!! “However, as the two neared the gazebo in the very center of the gardens, Flash heard something, a sound that most certainly did NOT blend in with the rest of the garden’s noises,” the narrator dramatically read. “It was a high-pitched sound, almost like—" “EEP!” Twilight squealed. Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before something flew over their heads, impacting a nearby tree with— A…quack? Looking up, Flash saw that, rather than a rock, a rubber duck had impacted the tree, and was currently bouncing its way across the ground. “But—but that was a ROCK when I threw it!” Bull Horn cried in confusion. “CUT! Discord, I swear to Harmony!” “Oh, come on, I had to! For old time’s sake!” the spirit of chaos complained. “You didn’t. You REALLY didn’t!” Take 2… Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a pillow fell gently onto his head. Flash blushed when he saw the fabric print was comprised of a bunch of small pictures of him and Twilight kissing. “CUT!!! DISCORD, I AM WARNING YOU!” “But it’s a reference to the last blooper reel we did! I had to do it more than once!” Take 3… Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a HARMONY DAMN ANVIL flew overhead and quite literally snapped the fake tree it was supposed to hit in half, showering the couple in a fine dust of dark chocolate. “NOT THAT STUPID ANVIL AGAIN!” Twilight cried, clutching Flash in a panic. “CUT! Tempest! Permission Granted!” the director yelled. “Wait, wha—” That was all Discord had time to say before the dark red pony seized him and dramatically suplexed him through the set, punching his head clean through the floor. “Ahhh, that was satisfying,” Tempest said with a grin, happily prancing away back to the ice cream table. “Ok, that was fair,” the muffled voice of Discord acknowledged. One hot take… “You really think we didn’t know there was going to be new royalty!?” Bull Horn bellowed. “We knew SIX MONTHS beforehoof that—wait, wait, WAIT! TAIL IS ON FIRE! TAIL IS ACTUALLY ON FIRE!” He screamed and dropped to the ground, rolling around in a panic as the rage-shift suit sparked and his tail ACTUALLY caught on fire. “ON IT!” Rainbow screamed as three other ponies frantically ran onto the set. Before they could even reach Bull Horn, Rainbow soared past them at top speed and doused the on-fire unicorn with a fire extinguisher in under ten seconds flat. “Oh, thank Celestia,” Bull Horn said, going slack as the let the unicorns hastily remove the rage-shift suit. “But I didn’t do anything?” Celestia called from the side. A small bout of tension-relieving laughter bubbled up from the crew. Even Bull Horn was smiling through the wisps of smoke of his singed tail. “CUT! Ok, we’ll break for lunch. I want that suit and the replacement tested before we use them again. We don’t need to burn the whole set down. Honestly, what is with this shooting and things catching fire. And don’t anypony say it’s only happened twice! Because I know that the moment somepony mentions that, something else is going to—” “Help! The coffee machine is on fire!” Pinkie cried. Facehoofing wasn’t enough, but thankfully the floor wasn’t on fire and was also readily available. This is why she needs a license to carry… But before Duke Bull Horn could speak, the plot demanded Pinkie. “THE PLOT DEMANDS MEEEEEEEEE!” Pinkie exclaimed, only for her to slip on the roof. In a moment of poetry, Pinkie’s party cannon fell to the ground below her, while the pie she was supposed to throw at Bull Horn ended up hitting Flash instead. Then Pinkie herself landed in the cannon face-first, before it fired its new pink pony ammunition directly at Twilight causing both ponies to go rolling away in a heap. Meanwhile, Bull Horn just stood there, looking at the chaos that had unfolded before him. When the dust settled, he just blinked, then looked down at himself as if expecting something to randomly to appear out of nowhere and pull him into the chaos. “Huh. I wasn’t expecting to avoid being a part of that,” he admitted as Flash whipped the pie off his face and Twilight and Pinkie disentangled themselves. “Maybe the universe thought you’ve had enough punishment for one taping,” Flash said with a shrug. “Really? At this point, I was starting to think the set itself like to see me involved in these bloopers,” Bull Horn deadpanned, though even the director could see the playfulness in his eyes. “Maybe we should get the set a better contract then! More health benefits, more pay, and then maybe we would have less bloopers!” Flash boldly proclaimed, prompting both ponies to laugh at the idea of paying their inanimate objects a salary. “CUT!” TEMPEST SMASH!!! Before Flash could say anything else, a new noise reached their ears. “BABY SHARK DO DO DO DO DO, BABY SHARK DO DO— SMASH! Everypony on set jumped as Tempest, seemingly out of nowhere, appeared behind the record player and smashed it to pieces with one well-placed strike. “HARMONY, I hate that song,” she growled, staring down at the shattered record as though it had insulted her broken horn and spit in her face. “She is going to be so mad when she finds about how often that song is going to come up in future How To stories,” Flash said once Tempest was out of earshot, grinning like a mad stallion. “You don’t need to be so excited about her being angry, you know,” Twilight lightly chided him, though she was unable to hide her own giggle. “CUT! Ok, that’s it. We’re done filming for the day! We’ll finish the ending scene tomorrow morning before reshooting the scene where Flash and Twilight are watching everypony else dance. After that we’re moving on to How to Make Amends!” The director sighed and sunk into his chair. “Ugh, what a DAY!” “Oh, come on, honey. It wasn’t that bad,” the editor said, coming over and giving him a quick little kiss on the cheek. “How about you just relax here for a minute while I finish up, then we can go get some Applebee’s for dinner tonight? I think you’ve earned it, and then we can go watch some Red vs Blue. How does that sound? “That sounds wonderful,” the director said, giving the editor a quick little kiss of his own. “If only this movie was as simple as going out to dinner. “Well, maybe it would be easier, but it wouldn’t be NEARLY as much fun!” The director blew a raspberry at her, but he was smiling. Dancing like there’s no tomorrow… “Turning back to the dance floor,” the narrator said. “Flash watched Twilight’s friends to try and distract himself. Rarity had apparently decided to humor poor Spike and share a dance with him, though, it was more like she was hugging him and moving in time to the music, given how much taller she was than him, but Spike looked utterly blissful all the same. Rainbow had actually been pulled into a dance with the Wonderbolt Soarin and looked even more excited than Twilight did when new books came in from the royal library. Though he had to admit he never actually thought he’d see Rainbow BLUSH. Well, first time for everything. “Then,” the narrator continued, smiling at the camera, “the editor pulled the director out onto the dance floor to serve as background extras!” The camerapony swiveled his device over to the director’s fancy chair just in time to catch the editor grabbing his foreleg and pulling him onto the scene before the pegasus had a chance to even say ‘wait, WHAT?!’ The actors all looked pretty surprised, but soon they were clapping and cheering as the editor started leading the director in a dance. The pony in charge of sound even turned up the music! And then almost all the crewmembers flooded after them, and soon the dance floor was a huge crowd of ponies in fancy evening costumes and ponies in work uniforms having the absolute time of their lives. The camerapony zoomed in on the director and the editor, dancing near the edge. The editor was beaming and laughing and the director was blushing so hard that it was difficult to tell what was redder – his cheeks or the mark on his forehead. But despite all that, he was grinning too. “Come on, Shutter!” somepony yelled, and that’s all it took for the camerapony to lock his tripod and jump into the party himself. He had a passing thought about how long it would be before the director recovered enough to yell ‘cut,’ but then he caught another glimpse of him and the editor looking at each other with big happy love-struck eyes and had a feeling they’d be dancing all night long. Almost an hour later, a clawed hand of Discord gently picked up the camera. “That’s all folks!” He exclaimed as a familiar loony song played in the background before he winked and turned the camera off. Author's Note TA DA!!! The next chapter of How to Meet Your Daughter is still being edited, but in the meantime, enjoy this fun little bit of behind the scenes shenanigans from How to Date a Princess. I originally did a similar bonus chapter for Freedom Shall Ring, but decided it was time to do another one for How to Date a Princess. As always, please enjoy, and I want to give an extra special thank you to my Fiancee/Editor for her help in improving some of the bloopers and for creating a few of her own to add even more flavor to the story The GalaFlash Sentry straightened his tie one last time as he gazed at the mirror. He was wearing a sharp black tuxedo with a dark blue tie. His orange coat and blue mane had been washed and combed to perfection, and his teeth shone after a vigorous brushing. All in all, he looked ready. Nodding at his reflection, he turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door, only stopping once briefly along the way to pick up a single purple rose with no thorns from his desk. Walking down the hallway, he tried to imagine how the night might go. He had never been to the Gala, and, based on the stories he’d heard, he wasn’t sure he would have ever wanted to. But Twilight needed him to avoid the criticism showing up alone would bring, especially after what happened a month ago with Duke Bull Horn. He was jostled out of his thoughts as he arrived at Twilight’s room. Raising a hoof, he knocked on the door, receiving a quick call of ‘just a second’ from inside. When the door opened, any doubts Flash had were washed away as he tried to keep his mouth from hanging open and his wings from springing out in excitement. Twilight was breathtaking. She wore an elegant purple dress that seemed to flow with every move she made. It was covered in star designs that made it look like the beauty of the cosmos had wrapped themselves around her. Her mane was pinned up, like it had been at her coronation, and it seemed to shine with its own set of stars. She was blushing, which somehow only made her even more beautiful. “Well…” she asked, nervously, not making eye contact with Flash. “How do I look?” Flash blinked and said the only thing that came to his mind: “I think you might make Princess Celestia jealous.” Twilight only blushed harder as her head shot up in surprise. “FLASH!” “What? You look spectacular!” he said, gesturing at her with his hooves. “I bet you are going to outshine everyone there, even Celestia and Luna!” Twilight just lowered her head and let out a sigh, muttering, “You don't need to exaggerate so much.” “First, I’m not exaggerating. Second, as your date, it would normally be my job to compliment you and exaggerate. The only problem is that there is no way I can possibly think of exaggerating how good you look.” He smiled gently as he lifted her chin so her eyes met his own. “Trust me, you. Are. Perfect… almost.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the purple rose and gently slid it behind her left ear. “There, now you’re perfect.” Twilight rolled her eyes and lightly punched his shoulder as she finally got her blushing under control. “Ha ha, very funny Mr. Romance. Anything else you need to do as my date?” “Engage in playful banter, maybe flirt with you, and make sure you have a good night so that I can ask you out again,” Flash said, earning himself a deadpan stare from Twilight, though he could make out the smile that was trying to work its way through. “Technically, you only asked me out because I was refusing to ask you out given that I didn't want to force you to make up for my mistake, remember?” “But I WAS still the one to ask you.” Flash smiled as he took his place by her side and raised a wing to ask permission. Twilight gave a small nod and Flash dropped the wing across her back. Much easier than holding hooves. Her dress was smooth under his feathers and he could feel her wings twitch against him. “Besides, if this night goes well, maybe we can have a real date. One without nobles and all this pomp and circumstance.” “Even though I don’t really know much about you?” Twilight asked playfully. “That’s what dates are for,” Flash said. “Think of them like research.” “Then I guess we’ll just need to see if this project requires multiple tests to reach a conclusion,” Twilight said as the two began to leave the castle to meet up with her friends. “I suppose so…” One month ago… Flash Sentry was not a happy soldier. And as was usually the case, it had nothing to do with his job. About five months ago, Shining Armor, his commander, had selected him and a group of crystal ponies to transfer to Ponyville in order to serve as The Twilight Guard. Similar to the Solar, Lunar, and Crystal Guards, they would be responsible for protecting a princess, in this case, Princess Twilight. While Princess Twilight had originally refused to have guards, saying that she didn't need them and that they would disrupt her life too much, the aftermath of the Starlight Glimmer Village Incident had led to Celestia, Luna, and Cadence all overruling her on the issue. The group was small, only about thirty ponies, but Shining Armor had said that this was mainly to allow Princess Twilight to get used to them, before he expanded it. What had come as a shock to Flash was that he was put in charge as Princess Twilight’s guard captain. Thankfully, it actually didn't turn out too be to difficult. His primary job was setting up the schedule and positions of the guard, and insuring that everypony was keeping up to date on their training. With such a small group, it wasn't such a big task. The only issue was that Twilight had received no guards up until this point, which meant that their primary concern was making sure her castle was secure as this was the most likely place that she would be attacked, if it ever came to that. While this might not have normally been a problem since he could just request more guards, Twilight was still stubbornly refusing to allow any more guards than the ones Shining had already sent, which meant that Flash didn't have enough guards to protect her and the castle at the same time due to the castle’s size and the numbers he had to work with. As a solution, Flash himself volunteered to be Princess Twilight’s personal guard. This made sure she was protected when out of the castle, and with help from communication crystals made in the Crystal Empire, Flash could always call for backup should the need arise. That had yet to happen, thankfully, despite the crazy shenanigans that happened in Ponyville on a weekly basis (usually on Tuesdays). Because of this arrangement, Flash was given his own room in Princess Twilight’s castle so that he would be nearby should an emergency occur. The rest of the guard was located in a new barracks building a short distance away from the castle. Also, this arrangement meant he had more time to talk with Princess Twilight outside of his scheduled duties. One of the first things that had happened when Flash and his ponies arrived at Ponyville was that Princess Twilight had immediately told them to just call her ‘Twilight,’ saying that she didn’t want the ponies who would be working so closely with her to call her ‘Princess’ all the time. She had then worked to befriend every guard. It had been a little surprising, but many of the guards seemed to like getting to know her on a more personal level. Flash had to agree with them, especially since she was nice enough to give them a bit of a pay bonus whenever they had a family birthday coming up. But, unfortunately, things weren't always so good. Because of her new status, and possibly the new castle, many of the nobles now assumed that Twilight had the same authority as Princess Celestia, whereas in reality she could still be overruled by Celestia or Luna due to the fact that she was still learning how to rule. As such, many nobles had tried at least once to convince Twilight to overrule something that had already been decided by the Solar Sisters. Not only could Twilight do nothing, but most of the time she agreed with Celestia and Luna’s decisions. It had led to more than one… awkward conversation, to say the least. Seriously, who would approve of cultivating poison joke for use in pranking powders!? That idea was insane! And today was another day where a noble had come seeking something stupid, but this time it was both idiotic AND insulting. “Duke Horn, for the last time, I will not, under any circumstances, be taking your son to the Gala as my date,” Twilight said coldly, glaring at the pony standing across from her throne in the map room. Said pony was Duke Bull Horn, a slightly overweight unicorn with a brown coat, a light red and orange mane, and a cutie mark of a lion head, his family’s crest. He was, at least in Flash’s opinion, one of the worst nobles to exist. While some, like Prince Blueblood, were annoying, they would leave you alone if you left them alone. Bull Horn, on the other hoof, would constantly seek out others and would verbally attack anypony who didn't give him what he wanted. In his mind, he was the only one that mattered, and he would stop at nothing to make sure he got everything he felt he deserved. “And I’m telling you that there is no other option!” The duke proclaimed, nose hoisted in the air as it had been for the entire meeting. “You are a princess now, so despite what you may have done when you were still of COMMON blood, you NEED to be escorted to the Gala by somepony of status and prestige, and my son is the only one who can POSSIBLY be worthy to fulfill such an important role.” ‘Yeah, right,’ Flash thought, trying not to roll his eyes. Bull Horn’s son, Money Bags, was just as bad as his father. The only difference was that he was a brat, and was far more likely to simply whine and throw a tantrum than to actually do anything of import. Judging by the skeptical frown Spike was giving him from his small throne at Twilight’s side, Flash knew the young drake was thinking the same thing. “YOU don't have the authority to decide who I take to the Gala, Bull Horn, just like you don't get to open a dangerous gem mine on protected land or start a lumber factory in the Everfree Forest,” Twilight said, not breaking her gaze even as the duke’s face became contorted in rage. “You little—” “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Flash snapped, stepping forward. “You may be a guest here, Duke, but that doesn't mean I can't kick you out for insulting or harassing the princess.” “Keep out of this, you worthless airhead,” the Duke replied, only to find his mouth suddenly gone as Twilight lit her horn, her eyes glowing. “I DO NOT tolerate racial slurs in MY CASTLE!” Twilight thundered. “Now you listen to me. I WILL NOT be courting your son because I ALREADY HAVE A DATE, and if you do not drop this issue, I will make sure you never receive another Gala ticket as long as you live. “Now GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!” And with that, Bull Horn vanished in the flash of a teleportation, one that most likely left him upside down in the town’s fountain, if Flash read the little quirk of Twilight’s mouth correctly. Twilight’s eyes stopped glowing and she she sank down into her throne before facetabling on the crystal map. Or, at least, she would have facetabled on the crystal map if Flash hadn't grabbed a pillow from underneath the table and slid it under her head and the map. He had made sure to keep at least one pillow under the table since it became clear that Twilight would facetable after every audience with a noble. At least, this way, he could prevent her headaches from getting any worse. “Thank you,” she mutter into the pillow, releasing a long sigh. “Of course, Princess,” Flash said with a nod. “Flash…” “Er, Twilight. Sorry. Force of habit.” “At least he’s gone,” Spike said. “But I didn't know you had a date, Twilight.” “I don’t,” Twilight groaned into the pillow. “Which means when I show up at the Gala alone, he’s gonna just harass me even more and claim that I’m a liar. I’ll never here the end of this now, all because me and my big mouth.” She lifted her head and smushed it back into the pillow with a ‘whack.’ “But then why did you say you did?” “Because I lost my temper and I wanted him to drop this stupid idea of his. And by doing so, I just made things worse for myself.” “Can’t you just ask somepony in town to go with you?” Flash asked. “You seem to be pretty popular.” “Everypony in town is either afraid of my status as a princess, or they won’t want to go with somepony who they think is crazy.” “Come on Twilight, no pony thinks you're crazy,” Spike said. “Smarty Pants incident, parasprites, time-traveling-self-doomsday preparation—” “Ok, so maybe you’ve had a few bad incidents,” Spike said, wincing, “but that doesn't mean somepony won’t say yes. And if that fails, you could always take Flash.” “HUH?” Both Twilight's and Flash’s heads whipped around to stare at the little dragon in shock. “I mean, he’s always escorting you into town and such, so you could easily just say you wanted to get to know him better. It would be enough to at least show the Duke that you weren't lying.” Flash considered that for a moment. Twilight had said she had a date, so as long as she showed up with SOMEPONY, she should be fine. The Duke would still be mad, but that was a given. And Spike was right. He was seen so often with Twilight that it would be perfectly believable for him to be her escort to the Gala, even as more than just a guard. Flash had never actually though about going on a real date with her though. She was smart, funny, kind, and of course, very pretty, but those were a given for someone who had ascended to become an alicorn and a princess. He also found her to be rather adorkable, as Pinkie Pie put it, but he had always let his guard duty come before personal life. There was also the fact that she might not want to be in a relationship right now considering all the stress she was under. But then again, if Shining Armor and Princess Cadence could do it, why couldn’t he and Twilight? Maybe dating somepony would actually help get her mind off her duties for a while. Worst-case scenario, the date was a one-time thing and everything returned to normal after the Gala. Best-case scenario… “Spike!” Twilight cried, pulling Flash from his thoughts. “I can’t just force him to go with me to the Gala! That would be abusing my powers as a princess, and—“ Flash decided to take a chance. “Hey Twilight, will you go the Gala with me?” Twilight tried to spin to face him, but only succeeded in falling out of her throne in shock, thankfully falling in the gap between the table and the throne rather than hitting her head on the table. Flash winced. “I…HUH???” “Would you…” Flash repeated, helping her to her hooves before pointing at her. “Like to go…” He pointed to the door. “To the Gala…” He touched the golden ticket on the table. “With me?” Lastly, his hoof came to his chest. It was very hard not to laugh as Twilight sputtered and tried to come up with a coherent answer, her face bright red. “But-but-but I-I can’t ask you to, I mean you don’t…” Flash gently covered her mouth with a hoof, forcing her purple eyes to meet his blue ones. “Twilight, as your guard, it’s my job to protect you from danger and ensure that you can do you job with as few hurdles as possible. That includes making sure Annoying Noble Number 283 does't have more ammo to use against you.” “But…” “And as your friend, I can’t let you be forced into going with somepony as horrible as Money Bags. So I’m not asking you to go because you’re forcing me to. I’m asking you to go because I want to help you, and because worst comes to worst, everything goes right back to the way it was when the Gala is over. Ok?” Flash gave her a soft smile. Twilight blushed and looked away. “O-ok,” she muttered. “I-I would be honored to have you accompany me to the Gala.” “Cool,” Flash said, grinning. “Now I believe your friend Rarity makes suits right?” Twilight nodded. “Then I will head over there later today so I can get fitted, as I never thought of bringing a suit with me.” “We can go now, actually,” Twilight said, still refusing to meet Flash’s eyes. “I need to pick up a book I lent her anyway, and it's been a while since I've seen her. We can catch up while she's taking your measurements.” “Can I come?” Spike asked excitedly, always looking forward to seeing the mare of his dreams. “Sure,” Twilight said, giggling at Spike's enthusiasm as he leapt up to his normal position on her back. The present… As Flash and Twilight stepped out of the castle, they were saluted by the two guards stationed out front. Both of them nodded in acknowledgement. Just a short ways away, the rest of the Element Bearers and Spike stood waiting near three flying carriages that would be taking them to Canterlot. The sun was just beginning its descent, bathing the land around the castle in an warm orange glow and causing the crystal castle to sparkle in a brilliant display. Each of the girls was wearing a dress cut in a similar style to Twilight’s, but Rarity had carefully designed each gown to reflect the pony who wore it. Her own dress looked like it had been cut from crystal, so twinkly that it could blend in with Twilight’s castle. Applejack was draped in a gown all the colors of a fall forest, while Fluttershy shimmered like the wings of a butterfly. Rainbow’s dress was as light and flowing as the wind it was patterned after, and Pinkie…well, in true Pinkie fashion, she looked like a giant cupcake topper. They all looked amazing, but Flash thought Twilight looked the best. Though since she was his date, he was probably biased. Normally the girls would have gotten dressed together, but this time Twilight had wanted to get dressed alone so she could ask for Flash’s honest opinion without the girls pressuring him to say something nice. Especially Rarity. Twilight had even caught her threatening Flash not to mistreat her, though that was probably just to make sure her experience with Flash didn't end up like her and Blueblood’s. Spike was there too, dressed in a black tuxedo just like Flash, only he also wore a top hat and carried a small cane. He was the first to spot them and waved. “There you two are,” the dragon called, alerting the others to their arrival. “What took you so long?” “Pre-date banter,” Flash replied, grinning as Twilight rolled her eyes. The others however, all giggled at his answer. “I must say, Twilight,” Rarity began. “You look simply stunning. I knew my modifications would help, but I didn’t expect them to have quite this effect.” “Modifications?” Flash asked before the blushing Twilight could reply. “Of course darling. This is not only her first Gala as a PRINCESS, but her first Gala with a DATE as well,” she smiled and winked at him. “I had to make her look her best. Speaking of, what do YOU think, darling? Hmm?” Flash smiled. “While I always think she looks amazing, you’ve outdone yourself this time, Rarity,” he said, smirking as Twilight tried to hide behind his wing to block her blushing face. “An excellent answer,” Rarity said with a nod. “I think you might have quite the catch here, Twilight.” “Mmmm…” Twilight replied, still hiding. “Enough chit chat,” Rainbow said, flapping her wings impatiently. “Let’s just go already! I wanna talk to the Wonderbolts before they get surrounded by ‘nobles,’” she said, making air quotes, “again like they did last year. I couldn’t even get a single word in.” “There’s also the rush we gotta worry about,” Applejack said, moving towards the second chariot. “Everypony’s gonna get there at once, so unless we wanna get bogged down in the mad dash inside, I suggest we get moving.” “Fair point,” Rarity conceded, nodding. The group moved to the chariots, but both Flash and Twilight were surprised when they were ushered to the first chariot on their own. When they looked questioningly at Rarity, she said, “A princess should enter first, and who better to escort her off the chariot than her date?” Flash thought she was enjoying teasing poor Twilight almost as much as he was. Once they were all secure, the chariots lifted off the ground and made straight for Canterlot. Overall, the ride was only about half an hour and while still early fall, Twilight spent most of that time under Flash’s wing to avoid the cold wind. Not that he minded. Both enjoyed the sight of the vast open country shining in the waining sunset before they were flying over the streets of Canterlot, all decorated for the Gala. Even if most ponies couldn’t get into the palace, there were still plenty of smaller parties held by individual ponies as well. It truly was a city-wide event, though Flash thought the small parties might be more fun than the actual Gala. The castle itself looked far more impressive than it normally did. There where banners stretching between all of the towers and wrapping around much of the building without blocking any windows or balconies. There were balloons tied to much of the outer wall and elegant flower displays lining the walkway leading up to the main doors. Lights also covered much of the outer castle, making the entire structure appear to sparkle in the last rays of sunlight. Though chances are that the large lights just turning on and pointed directly at the castle would allow this effect to be seen all throughout the night. When they landed outside the large golden doors leading up to the front of the marble castle, Flash hopped out first and offered a hoof to Twilight. She accepted his assistance, although she couldn't help blushing again as everypony watched the two of them. Nearby, some of the nobles were whispering, others openly glaring at Flash, but he really didn't care. However, he could tell that Twilight did care simply by how much she was fidgeting, so he didn't hesitate to wrap his wing around her again as a makeshift shield from the nobles. The unicorn nobles might think he was being too forward, but oh well, too bad for them. Twilight certainly didn't mind as she relaxed in his grip once again. The rest of the group soon had gathered and helped buffer the couple from the rest of the nobles, Rainbow Dash giving the nobles some especially dirty looks. Once Rarity had stopped fawning over the castle, everypony and dragon moved towards the front doors and the Gala. After showing their tickets, they all were announced by a well-dressed pony at the front door. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her escort, Sir Flash Sentry, Captain of the Twilight Guard.” Flash blinked as he realized that he had actually gotten a title, rather than just being called Princess Twilight’s ‘plus one’. “Twilight?” Flash asked with a smirk as they waited for Twilight’s friends to be announced. “Yes?” Twilight replied in a cheeky manner. “Did you write Celestia to get me a title for the entrance?” “Maaaaaaayyyyyybe,” she said, giggling. “I couldn’t just let them ignore you, now, could I? Plus, I thought with a title you might get some of the respect you deserve, being the captain of my guard and all.” “True, so thank you,” he said with a bow. “Plus, maybe it will dissuade a few of the nobles from bugging me, which means I‘ll have more time to spend with my angelic date.” He smiled, which made Twilight giggle. “If you keep complimenting me, you’re eventually gonna run out of things to say.” “Not if I start quoting plays.” “You better not…” “‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’” Flash drawled in a horrible, horrible impression of… it was so bad, it appeared as if Twilight couldn’t even figure out what accent he was trying to imitate just based on the face she was making. She cuffed him in the back of the head with her wing, but she couldn’t keep from smiling. “You’re right, that was an impression of the nobles. My bad. Let me try again. ‘Doth Mother know… you wearth her drapes?’” That earned him another light smack. “Having trouble with your stallion, darling?” Rarity said, giggling at their antics. “I’m the one having trouble,” Flash joked, rubbing the back of his head. “Well, then, behave, and maybe I’ll give you a reward if you’re good for the rest of the night,” Twilight said, turning away with a grin. “Flirting, check,” Flash said, pulling out an invisible checklist and invisible quill in an imitation of Twilight. The alicorn shot him a deadpan stare, but the other girls laughed. “So what do we do now that we’re actually here?” “I’m gonna go find the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow said, taking to the air. “I’ll catch up with you gals later.” And with that, she was gone. “Ah better make sure she doesn't break somethin' this year,” Applejack said, trotting after the rainbow-maned pegasus into the main ballroom. “Ah’ll be around.” “I’m… gonna try the garden again,” Fluttershy said, glancing towards one of the side hallways. “I just hope the animals will be more understanding this year.” “I think I’ll join you,” Rarity said. “I hear Princess Luna has recently planted a spectacular variety of nighttime plants, and I simply must see them to get inspiration for my next spring line!” “I’ll come too!” Spike said, “I still need to show you two Princess Celestia’s golden apple tree.” Nodding in agreement, the three of them made their way towards the garden. “I’ll go disappear until the plot demands me,” Pinkie said, bouncing off into the ballroom. “Uhhhh…” Flash muttered, staring after her. “Don’t think about it too much,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “It’s Pinkie.” “Still not enough of a justification in my book, but to prevent myself from getting a migraine, I’ll take your advice,” Flash said, receiving an eye roll and a giggle from Twilight. Not having anywhere else to go, the two of them followed Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash and entered the ballroom. It was still somewhat early in the evening, but the chamber was already full of ponies in fancy evening wear, mingling and admiring the decorations, which were quite spectacular. Banners hung from the walls, streamers wound around all the marble columns, and there were dozens of flowerpots filled with plants in every color. Flash was pretty sure that the silvery-blue blooms releasing gentle puffs of white mist were Princess Luna’s specialty. The center of the ballroom had been cleared for dancing and a stage for the band set up right next to it, but there were a number of small tables off to one side. And, along the far wall, was a BUFFET! Flash’s mouth watered. Free food was the best food, and it didn’t seem to be that weird ‘fancy’ food he found in Canterlot’s restaurants. Surprisingly, Princesses Celestia, who was usually the first one at the Gala, had yet to arrive, but Princess Luna was near the stage talking to Fancy Pants. She wore a gown that looked like it was taken from the view of a telescope, and Flash swore that he saw some of the constellations actually moving. He glanced at Twilight’s dress and grinned. She still looked better. Bias, yay. However, his train of thought was interrupted as he saw someone he would have never believed would attend such an event. Or, at least, not attended it without the pure purpose of messing everything up. “Is that…Discord?” Flash asked, causing Twilight to turn and look for herself. Sure enough, the draconequus was standing nearby, dressed very similarly to Spike and having a surprisingly normal conversation with a light tan pegasus with a two-tone brown mane. Despite the fact that neither Flash or Twilight had ever seen the pegasus, she seemed to be on friendly terms with the master of chaos as she waved goodbye. “It is,” Twilight groaned. “Maybe he won’t notice us.” “Who won’t notice you?” a loud voice drawled in their ears. Discord was now right behind them. Even with his years of guard training, Flash couldn't help but jump. “Ugh, please Discord, not tonight, anything but tonight,” Twilight half groaned, half begged. “Oh you needn’t worry about me,” Discord said in a rather serious voice. “I was informed by Celestia about your little date, and, suffice to say, I would rather not have Rarity tear me to pieces for interfering with your date. Or Fluttershy.” He shivered. “Cotton candy have mercy on me if those two came for me.” “So, you’re NOT going to make this night chaotic for us?” Flash asked in surprise. “Not that I’m complaining, but you ARE the lord of chaos, right?” “Right,” Discord said, smirking. “But every time I’ve seen little Princess Sparkle here, I’ve been chaotic and crazy. But you see, that means it’s PREDICTABLE now for me to be chaotic. So what better way for me to change it up than to be…well, normal.” “That seems almost too logical.” Discord just shrugged. “Maybe, but what do I know about logic? Now, the reason I’m really here is because I am looking for Fluttershy. Or Pinkie Pie. Either one will do, really. Have you seen them?” “Fluttershy is in the garden,” Twilight began. “ And Pinkie…” “Said she had to go until the plot demanded her,” Flash said, causing Discord’s ears to perk up. “Oh she did, did she?” he said, pausing briefly to look at the reader and wink. “Who are you winking at?” Flash asked, looking over to where Discord was looking and seeing nothing but a wall. “Oh, no pony. Well then, I best go find out little pink ball of sugar and sweets. Toodles.” He snapped his fingers and vanished in a puff of smoke. The smoke then pulled out a top hat and proceeded to fly out the door they just entered, much to the bafflement of the nobles currently trying to enter the ballroom. “Well, that could have been worse,” Flash said as Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s just go get some food and hope he doesn't come back,” Twilight said, making a beeline for the buffet. “No mingling before eating?” Flash asked. Twilight shook her head. “The only ponies I see that I want to talk to right now are Luna and Fancy Pants, and they’re still busy. Well, them and you, but you get the point.” “Nopony else?” “They're not here yet. It’s still early. And I actually had to skip lunch today to get ready, so I’m STARVING!” “You skipped lunch?” Flash asked, surprised. “I mean, you look wonderful, but it really took that long?” “Yes. It was the mane, mostly. I usually ask Rarity to do it. In all my studies, I never really learned a spell for how to make myself more presentable. It was just… never really high on my priorities.” As she spoke, she grabbed a plate and began to load it with food. The buffet was massive, and all of it looked delicious, but Flash raised an eyebrow as Twilight grabbed ten Hay Burgers. He knew she liked to order at least five whenever they went to the fast food place in Ponyville, but this seemed to be a bit much, even for her. “No need to bother learning a spell to make yourself more beautiful if you look amazing normally,” Flash said, smiling as Twilight blushed and looked away. “I’m not that special,” she mumbled as they reached the desserts. “Yeah, you only fought an Ursa Minor, Nightmare Moon, Tirek, the changelings, Discord, King Sombra, and happen to be the most skilled magic user in multiple generations that was able to solve an unsolvable spell and become a princess,” Flash said jokingly, before gently brushing up against her and speaking in a much more caring tone. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Twilight was now the color of a tomato, but Flash could see a faint smile working its way onto her lips. Progress. With food in hoof, the two set off for the nearest table to enjoy their meals, though as they sat down Flash noticed with concern that Twilight had far more food than he did. “Twilight, are you ok? I know you skipped lunch and I don’t want to pry, but I’ve never seen you eat this much before, even when we had to skip lunch that one day to reorganize the library.” “It’s ok,” Twilight said, eating a Hay Burger in just two bites. “My magic now needs to keep up with unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony abilities all at once. Combine that with the fact that I am still growing, and I need to eat about double what a normal pony does. At least for now.” “For now?” Twilight nodded. She ate another burger, wiped the ketchup off her mouth with her fries, and ate those too. “Celestia and Luna need to eat about 1.5 times as much food as a normal pony, so once I get as big as them, I should be able to reduce my calorie intake without feeling like I’m always starving.” “Even if that’s the case, how come I haven’t seen you eat this much previously?” “Well, I usually snack throughout the day so my main meals are…a decent size.” “But I never see you snack. Do you just eat when I’m not looking?” “I just teleport the food to my mouth. Or my stomach if I’m in a hurry.” “Is that safe?” “Umm…it should be?” “Twilight,” Flash said, frowning at her. “Really, it’s ok. I don't do it often, and it’s only mild discomfort if I—“ “Twilight,” Flash said firmly, causing her to stop and look at him. “I won’t mind, and I highly doubt anypony else will if you need to eat more at dinner or lunch because you have a fast metabolism. Doing something dangerous like teleporting food to your stomach is unnecessary. The only ponies that may possibly care are the nobles, and if they complain, you can just say ‘I’m a princess, I eat what I want,’ and they can’t do anything about it.” He smiled gently. “Please don't do that anymore, ok? Or I might just need to tell Celestia.” Twilight nodded. “I…I won’t. Sorry to bring it up.” “No problem,” Flash said, now grinning. “Though I was serious about the Celestia threat.” Twilight pouted. “I’m not a little filly, Flash. I can take care of myself.” “Pretty sure we’re all foals compared to Celestia. I mean, she IS over a thousand years old. And just because you’re an adult doesn't mean you’re perfect or know everything. For example, did you know Celestia once got herself food poisoning?” “Wait, really!?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open. “Really. Apparently a diplomat sent her an expensive pineapple cake in the mail, but it got lost for a good month. But despite this, she refused to throw it out and instead ate the entire thing in one sitting. She was sick for a week. In fact, that might have actually been the week you girls had to go and talk to that dragon that was covering Equestria in smoke,” Flash chuckled as he remembered his second week on the job. “You mean to tell me that my friends and I were sent to go talk to the dragon not because of our skills, but because Celestia had FOOD POISONING and couldn’t do it herself!?” Twilight asked, trying not to let her jaw hit the floor in shock. “Crazy right?” “Oh, I am SO gonna have words with her about this,” Twilight grumbled as she moved to the desserts on her plate. “Princess Celestia or not, that is just ridiculous.” “He greatest weakness, CAKE!” Flash said dramatically. Twilight struggled to swallow her mouthful of ice cream before she burst out laughing. They were attracting a few sidelong glances and grumbles from nearby nobles, but neither really cared. By now, the ballroom was beginning to fill up, and a lot more nobles were beginning to enter. The dull muttering in the room had also risen to a moderate level of constant background noise. Not too bad just yet though. When they finished eating, the two ponies got up and deposited their plates in the nearby container. It seemed that Princess Luna had finished talking to Fancy Pants, so Twilight immediately began leading them over. “Princess Twilight!” a low yet annoying voice called out. “I demand to speak with you this instant!” Turning, Flash internally groaned as they came face to face with Bull Horn’s son, Money Bags. He was a unicorn with a golden coat and a slightly darker golden mane. His cutie mark was a bag of bits, or at least that’s what Flash remembered it being from all the time he appeared in Celestia’s court, and he was clearly annoyed (not that this was anything new). Or at least Flash thought he always looked annoyed. It was hard to tell since most nobles looked like they were annoyed about eighty-two percent of the time. “There’s no need to shout,” Twilight said, maintaining a calm outer mask. “Anypony is allowed to speak with me if they simply ask. Now what can I help you with?” “You can ‘help me’ by explaining why this…this PEGASUS is escorting you to the Gala!” Money Bags spat. “He’s my personal guard and I wanted to get to know him better. Simple.” “Simple!? You chose an uncultured commoner over a worthy noble suitor! He should not even be allowed to look at you, let alone escort you to the most important social event of the year!” By now Money Bags' shouting was attracting attention, and Flash frowned at some of the nobles’ smirks. Clearly, they liked seeing somepony try and chew out the newest princess that had been unyielding to their demands. “That is MY decision, not yours or anypony else’s,” Twilight said, now glaring at Money Bags. “And I certainly won't be taking a stallion who throws a fit just because I chose somepony better than him.” Money Bags stuttered for a few seconds as his face contorted in rage even more. Flash was not liking this. While Twilight still appeared calm, she had pressed up to him during the conversation and she was shaking. Out of anger or stress, Flash didn't know. He saw that Luna was frowning and making her way towards them, and while ponies were bowing and moving out of the way, Flash didn't know if she would make it over to them before things got out of hoof. But he did know he needed to do something to end this nonsense. Nonsense… that might just work. “How dare you claim that this—“ Money Bags began. “Ombole bombole bo,” Flash interrupted. Both Money Bags and Twilight blinked in confusion as they turned to Flash, who smirked. Even the nobles watching didn't know what to make of what he just said, and Princess Luna had also stopped and was looking at him questioningly. Flash winked at Twilight. Money Bags composed himself before growling at Flash, “Be silent you—“ “Bolemb omble bo” “What are you—“ “Bobole bom.” “Be quiet and let me—“ “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—“ “Bobele bo.” “Shut—“ “Ombole.” “UP!” “Bolo.” Money Bags paused, waiting to see if Flash continued. “Now—“ “Ombole bobble obla bomba boop,” Flash said in a rushed voice, ending with a quick boop on Money Bags’ nose. Money Bags’ right eye was twitching, while many of the nobles looked shocked that Flash was outwitting (or maybe out annoying) him by just spouting nonsense. Twilight was biting her lip, struggling desperately to not laugh. Even Princess Luna was covering her mouth to try and stifle her own giggle. Thankfully, before Money Bags could gather up his wits to try and speak again, a new, motherly voice called out. “There you are, Twilight.” All three ponies turned to see Princess Celestia herself made her way towards the group, everypony else bowing as she passed. Flash himself also bowed, partly out of duty, and partly out of reverence. She was dressed in a gown that made her look like a phoenix, reds, oranges, and yellows wrapping around her in a stunning display that sparkled like her mane. “There’s no need for you to bow, Flash Sentry,” Celestia said as she arrived, giving Twilight a quick embrace and smiling down at him. “Princess Twilight decided that you would accompany her, so please rise and speak with me.” “Of course, Princess,” Flash said, rising. “It’s a pleasure to meet with you, at least in a less formal setting than normal.” “This is less formal?” Celestia asked in a curious voice. “I thought it was supposed to be very formal. It is the Gala after all.” “Fair point.” “Princess,” Money Bags began, bowing as well, “Clearly you must see the problem here.” “I see no problem whatsoever,” Celestia said. “Twilight has brought a date to the Gala, and I must say I am so proud of you for doing so,” she added, smiling at the young alicorn. “You finally reached the next part of your lessons and began looking for love. I’m certain Cadence will be bouncing off the walls.” “We’re just getting to know each other,” Twilight said, embarrassed. “You might be jumping ahead a little bit.” “Maybe, but a mare can dream, can’t she?” Celestia asked teasingly. Meanwhile, Money Bags’ eye was twitching again. “But he’s just a COMMONER! He’s not even of minor noble blood!” “And what difference would that make?” Celestia asked, her voice growing a bit hard as she turned to face Money Bags, placing Flash and Twilight behind the folds of her wings. “Princess Twilight has judged him to be worthy of her time, and he certainly appears to be more of a gentlecolt then you.” Flash was happy to hear the princess defending him, but he still felt the desire to mess with Money Bags. Since he was out of Celestia’s sight, he waited until she finished her sentence, before leaning into the unicorn’s view, sticking his tongue out, and making his eyes go in different directions. Twilight nearly lost her composure again over his ridiculousness and Money Bags looked like he couldn’t decide which was worse: Flash’s taunting, or the fact that he was being taunted right under the nose of Princess Celestia. “He also appears to be better mannered than you, as you come here to harass Princess Twilight like a foal being told he can’t have a toy, rather then a mature adult.” Flash shifted his face so he now had his cheeks puffed out and his eyes were spinning in opposite directions. Twilight snorted, her legs getting shaky from concealed mirth. “And furthermore, nobility has no standing on who she is allowed to be with, and trying to shame and harass her into being with someone of ‘equal standing’ is highly unacceptable. In fact, I don’t think I will be inviting you back to the Gala next year, as you clearly can’t be trusted to act with dignity.” Money Bags gasped in shock, while Flash pretended to dramatically faint, causing Twilight to begin to tear up. “But-but—“ “No buts. This is my party, so I may invite who I choose. Now then,” Celestia said, turning back to Flash and Twilight just as Flash straightened himself up. She didn't react to the fact that Twilight’s face was now red from suppressed laughter. “If you will follow me, Twilight, I would love to speak with you and your date in privacy.” Twilight managed to nod, following after the princess as she turned to leave. Flash, unable to help himself, turned back one last time and waved to Money Bags while mouthing the words ‘bye bye.’ Somehow, Money Bags’ face got even redder as he tried to melt Flash with his glare. He was cut off when the three ponies waking away entered into a small side room reserved for the princesses. With a flash of her horn, Celestia coated the room in a soft golden glow. Before Flash could ask what she was doing, she spoke. “Go ahead, Twilight.” “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Twilight cried, falling to the side as her legs gave out, only stopped from hitting the floor by Celestia teleporting over a large pillow for her to collapse onto. “I…That…You…BAHAHAHAHAHA!” “Silence spell,” Celestia said, gesturing to the golden glow still covering the room. “Rather handy in my opinion, especially when dealing with nobles. Was taunting Money Bags while I wasn’t looking really necessary?” Celestia asked, smirking and raising her eyebrow, causing Flash to grin sheepishly. “S-Sorry, Princess. After everything he and his father have put Twilight through, I…I just couldn’t resist.” Flash was surprised when Celestia giggled. “It’s all right, Flash. I think your frustrations are justified, and judging by Twilight’s reaction, I don't think she minded. Also, call me Celestia. I’d like to think we’re on more even hoofing since you’re dating Twilight.” “It’ll be up to her if we date more than just this once, though I will admit I wouldn't mind having more less formal dates in the future.” “We’ll just have to wait and see then, but my point still stands.” “Very well then, Celestia,” Flash said with a grin as Twilight finally began to calm down enough to speak. “You doing ok, Twilight?” “I, hehehe, could kiss you right now, hehehe, if I could stand up,” she said, still giggling. Flash smirked and leaned down to give her a slight peck on the cheek as he helped her back to her hooves. “We’ll just have to take a rain check on that then,” he said as Twilight stopped laughing and blushed like mad. “Wasn’t that a bit forward, Sir Flash Sentry?” came Luna’s voice. She was standing in the doorway to the chamber. “Not at all. Nobles do that all the time, and I hear kissing somepony’s cheek is part of the greeting in Prance. Kissing her on the lips, now THAT is forward. But I am a gentle-stallion, and so I think I struck the right balance between forward and what is expected for this date.” “You make a fair argument, and thus I dare say I approve of you and Twilight being together.” Luna said. “Just be sure you don't do anything you regret, or else—“ “Luna,” Celestia playfully chided. “Don’t threaten the poor stallion. I’m sure he’s gotten enough of that from Twilight’s friends.” “I really have,” Flash said. “Especially Rarity.” “She wasn't that bad,” Twilight said, regaining a bit of her composure, though still not looking at Flash. “She threatened to tie me up and throw me to the Diamond Dogs until I learned my lesson!” Luna laughed. “Be thankful she said Dimond Dogs and not dragons.” “I think she expected Spike to handle the dragon part,” Flash deadpanned, prompting the Celestia and Luna to giggle and Twilight to nudge him with her elbow. “What? He is like a little brother to you, and aren't brothers supposed to protect their sisters?” “In that case, you may want to worry more about Shining Armor,” Luna said with a teasing grin. “Or have you not told him yet?” “I…didn’t tell him yet,” Twilight admitted, still avoiding eye contact. “I didn't want him and Cadence coming to either threaten him or to try and ‘assist’ me with the date.” “Downside of being related to the Princess of Love?” Flash asked, chuckling. “Yes, definite downside.” “Look at it this way; if this works out, you don't need to worry about her setting you up on blind dates.” “She wouldn’t—” “Princess. Of. Love.” “…Ok, good point. But that is still an ‘if.’” “Not convinced?” “I like to have all the data collected before coming to any conclusions.” “Just like any good scientist should.” “As much as I love hearing you two banter,” Celestia joked, a sly smile crossing her face, “We really must get back to the party. Although, if you’re looking for data, Twilight, might I suggest seeing how good of a dancer Flash is?” Twilight’s ears perked up and she gave a nervous laugh. “Oh no no no no, I think we can skip that part of the data. I mean, there’s plenty of other points we can explore and—” “Hey Twilight, will you share the next dance with me?” Flash asked. Twilight spun to face him, which was a mistake as it put their muzzles only a few inches apart. “But-but-but…” “Come on Twilight, how bad could it be?” “But-but I CAN’T DANCE.” Flash blinked in surprise. “Really?” “Her dancing is…interesting to say the least,” Luna said, smirking slightly. “I don’t think you’re helping, sister,” Celestia said, elbowing her sister playfully. “Well, good thing I can’t dance either,” Flash said, taking Twilight’s hoof and leading her towards the door. “Huh!? But then why—” “Are we going to dance?” Flash asked. “Because you’re a princess, so nopony can complain if you can’t dance. Plus, even if we mess up, the only thing the audience will see is dancing.” “But—” “Twilight,” Flash said gently, turning to face her as they reached the door. “Trust me. Please?” Twilight looked like she was having a monumental internal struggle, but she eventually gave a slight nod. Flash gave her a reassuring smile before pushing open the door to the ballroom. There were significantly more ponies now, and the band had begun playing a while ago. Twilight hesitated when she saw the crowd, but a gentle brush of Flash’s wing prompted her to continue. They moved through the crowd with ease and within a minute, they were on the dance floor. Once they were near the center, he turned to look at his date, who looked like she was about to have a panic attack at any moment. “Twilight,” he said, causing her eyes to shoot to his. “Don’t look at, or even think about, anypony else. Just focus on me, on us, and we’ll be fine. Ok?” Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the next song to begin. It had a moderate tempo and seemed to remind Flash of the wind, something that seemed to calm Twilight down slightly. Maybe it reminded her of Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy? He didn't know, and choose not to worry about that right now. His only concern was his date. Given Twilight’s anxiety, Flash took the lead for the dance as they moved to stand on their hind hooves. He started slow, helping Twilight establish her balance before moving into simple moves, swaying and stepping in time. All the while, he never let his eyes leave Twilight’s. Slowly but surely, they improved and began to speed up to match the rhythm of the music. Flash could feel Twilight’s vice-like grip relax, and with it, her breathing and posture followed suit. Feeling brave, Flash stepped it up a little by sending Twilight out for a small twirl, before bringing her back to his chest. He could see her dress spin and sparkle in a vibrant display as it swished around her legs, but his focus was still mainly on her eyes. The deep purple orbs stared back into his blue ones. There was still fear and anxiety in them, but it was being drowned out by a sense of excitement, and possibly other emotions. Flash really couldn't tell the specifics, but he did know that she was starting to have fun. Suddenly, Twilight slipped and began to fall backwards. Flash reacted without thinking as he spread his wings, using one to catch her and the other to stabilize the two of them. Twilight blushed, but smiled. Flash returned the smile as he pulled her back up, releasing her. To his surprise, her own wings spread out, and to Flash the message was clear. Breaking from what the other ponies nearby were doing, Flash and Twilight began to use their wings as a part of their dance, moving them in time to the rhythm. Sometime they would brush up against their partners as if they were another set of hooves. Flash even used his once or twice to send Twilight out for longer spins. The fear was gone now. The only thing he could see in her eyes was joy and warmth. Flash had no idea how long that song was. To him, it felt like hours. But it eventually came to an end as Flash pulled Twilight in from the final spin, prompting both of them to drop back to four hooves and bow to each other other in a finishing display. When Flash looked up, he was met with the smiling face of his date. But it wasn't a normal smile, it was the smile of somepony who, if even for a brief moment, had absolutely no troubles in the world. She looked even more beautiful this way. Both of them were startled out of their gazing, however, when cheers erupted around them. Finally breaking eye contact and looking around, Flash realized that the nearby dancers had broken off to give them some room, and they’d acquired a rather large audience. They had been so busy dancing neither one of them had even noticed. Thankfully, almost everypony that was watching them was cheering at their display, and Celestia and Luna were giving them approving smiles. There may have been some nobles on the outer edges that looked grumpy, but Flash didn’t let that bother him. They always looked like that. Alas, poor Twilight was now very nervous again, blushing and staring at the floor as the crowd cheered. Flash closed the distance once again and nudged her gently with his body. Twilight looked up, smiled weakly and took his outstretched hoof. With their little performance over, they made way for the other dancers returning to the floor as they moved towards the punch bowl. “And here I thought you couldn’t dance,” Flash said, smiling. “I usually don't such a good partner,” Twilight said, returning the smile. “Where did you learn how to do that? I thought YOU said you couldn’t dance.” “Never tried it before,” Flash said. “I was just imitating other ponies. Well, except for the wing thing, but that was still relatively simple. Being a guard means you stand at a lot of events, just watching everything unfold. Some involve dancing, others don’t.” “So you’re able to dance just by watching other ponies?” “It’s not like there’s a lot of things to do when you’re standing guard. I can probably tell you how many jewels are in the throne room door and how many panes of glass their are in each window in the glass window hall just because I’ve spent so much time there while being bored out of my mind.” “I certainly hope guarding ME isn't boring.” “How could it be? You’re far more interesting that an empty hallway.” “I would certainly hope so,” she said, elbowing him lightly. Flash stuck his tongue out, and was rewarded with a small laugh. The two lapsed into silence as they got their punch and sat down at another unoccupied table. As they listened to the next song the band played, Flash couldn’t help but glance at Twilight. While she now longer seemed as stressed as when the night began, there was something else that was different about her now. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her mind, and she was letting more of herself shine through a mask she wore. It was subtle, and maybe he was just imagining things. But to him, she had somehow become even more beautiful as the night progressed. It was like at the end of the dance, but there was just something…more. Okay, he was totally biased. But he really didn't care. As the next song ended, her turned to look at his date. “Hey, Twilight?” “Yes, Flash?” she said, looking him in the eye. “Would you…like to go for a walk in the garden?” “Sure. That…That sounds lovely,” she said, a faint pink rising in her cheeks. They made their away across the ballroom, doing their best to avoid the nobles before leaving the side door that let to the gardens. Both ponies took a deep breath as the door closed behind them. The night was clear, the air was fresh, and the loud chatter and music of the ballroom was now just a dull murmur. The moon shone brightly on the garden, illuminating the path and the variety of plants growing around them. There were far more then Flash remembered from his last visit, but that was probably because of Princess Luna. Rarity had said she had planted some new flowers, but he didn't realize just how many there would be. He wondered if that glowing purple one would look nice on Twilight, before realizing that he really needed to start focusing on things other than his stunning— And there his mind went again. Bad mind. Shaking his head to clear it, he began walking down the cobblestone path to catch up to Twilight — she was so mesmerized by the plants that she had taken off to investigate, not noticing that she was short one date. He caught up, but chose to stay quiet as she randomly spouted facts about the new plants around her, many of which she must have found in books because it was Twilight. Pinkie was right, she was adorkable. Especially at times like this. As they reached the central clearing of the garden about ten minutes later, the noise of the ballroom had faded entirely, leaving them to enjoy the soft sounds of the crickets and other nocturnal creatures that called the garden home. At some point, Twilight had stopped talking and had settled for leaning her head on Flash, not that he minded. Her mane was too soft for him to complain. However, as the two neared the gazebo in the very center of the gardens, Flash heard something. A sound that did not fit in with the rest of the sounds currently occurring in the garden. It was a high-pitched sound, almost like— “EEP!” Twilight squealed, and Flash reacted on instincts drilled into his head at the guard academy. He grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a hoof-sized rock flew over where their heads had just been at a ferocious speed and crashed into a nearby tree, remaining stuck in the trunk. Flash was immediately on his hooves, standing between Twilight and the attacker. And boy did he need to restrain himself as the enraged face of Duke Bull Horn rounded entered the clearing. “You really ARE an idiot if you think attacking a princess is a good idea,” Flash said, his face hard. “This wouldn't have even been a problem if you had just stayed out of it, you feather-brained nincompoop,” the duke spat. “Your job is to serve your betters, not to go off rubbing noses with royalty for political gain!” “Right, because my status is REALLY at the top of my priorities,” Flash said with an eye roll. He helped Twilight back to her hooves without taking his eyes off the duke. His horn wasn’t glowing, yet, but Flash wasn't going to take any chances. He had no idea what the duke’s skill level was, so it was better to be cautious. “Status is all that matters, not that a moronic commoner could possibly understand.” “You leave him alone,” Twilight defended, moving next to Flash despite his attempts to keep her behind him. “He’s far smarter and nobler than any of the ‘real’ nobles I’ve had to deal with, especially the ones like you.” “You be quiet, you spoiled brat!” Bull Horn yelled, causing Twilight to flinch and for Flash to growl in her defense. “Not only are you clearly unqualified to make even the simplest of decisions, but because of your stubbornness, my son had been permanently banned form the Gala!” “As he should be,” Flash said, lowering himself into a combat stance. “You and him give the word noble a bad taste in ponies’ mouth.” “I am the blood of royalty!” the duke roared. “My blood and the blood of all nobles gives us a standing you can’t possibly understand! WE are the backbone of Equestria, far more than you or that commoner standing beside you!” He thrusted a hoof at Twilight. “She doesn’t deserve her title, and tonight just acts as proof!” “You’re delusional,” Flash growled. “She deserves her wings more than any pony I’ve ever met. Especially the nobles. You think you deserve wings over her? You don't even deserve your title.” The duke recoiled as if he was slapped, but Flash didn't stop. “You’re just a bully who throws a tantrum whenever he doesn't get what he wants. You attack and yell because you know deep down that you’re nothing. “Twilight…” He draped his wing over her, trying not to grin as she jumped a little and then leaned into the touch. “Twilight is everything you wish you could be. That’s why you hate her. She’s smart, talented, funny, kind, and most of all, loved. Loved by her friends, loved by her family, and loved by almost everypony in Equestria. You WISH you had the talent and gifts she did. But you never will, because she’s spectacular, and you’re just a nobody with an old family name.” The duke looked so mad Flash wasn't sure if he could even move his face anymore. And Twilight…Twilight was looking at him in a mix of shock, admiration, bashfulness, and joy. Growling, the Duke opened his mouth and lit his horn, causing Flash to prepare to defend himself. But before Duke Bull Horn could continue, the plot demanded Pinkie. “THE PLOT DEMANDS ME!” Pinkie yelled, jumping off the nearby gazebo and throwing a pie, which hit the duke squarely in the face. As he stumbled back in shock, Pinkie pulled her party cannon out of her mane and slammed it down on the duke, shoving him in the barrel so deep that only his rear and back hooves were sticking out. As he flailed about, Pinkie turned to the still shocked Twilight and Flash and gave a sailor salute before firing. The duke flew backwards halfway across the garden, screaming like a little filly before he hit a floating backboard, fell through a basketball hoop, and into a large glowing trash can face first. A lid then slammed down on it and spun like a top until a satisfying click sounded through the garden. “IT’S GOOD FOR THE WIN!” Discord announced in a sportscaster voice as a small set of bleachers filled with Discords all cheered excitedly, some even holding up cards with the number ten on them. Now completely flabbergasted, neither Twilight or Flash could respond as Discord floated over and hoof-bumped Pinkie while the Duke raged in his metal prison. “Don’t you two worry about old Bull here,” Discord said with a smirk, patting the trash can affectionately. “I’ll let Celestia know what he said. And maybe the media. So go and enjoy your night, and maybe fall in love. Everyone knows there’s nothing quite as chaotic as love.” He winked before he, Pinkie, and the trash can all disappeared in a bright flash of light. “…I literally have no idea how to respond to that,” Flash said. “Both at what just happened, and the fact that DISCORD just saved our night. Seriously, how do I react?” “I’ll…get back to you on that,” Twilight said, shaking her head in complete confusion. “I think we should just pretend that never happened.” “Agreed. So, that walk?” “I'd love to.” And with that, the couple set off again. With the gazebo now tainted by the interruption by the duke, the two ponies moved on further into the garden until they came to another clearing. There was a small hill, which served as the perfect spot for them to sit down and enjoy the night air. They sat in silence, and while both of them had agreed to put the incident with the duke behind them, it remained stubbornly at the forefront of their thoughts. Flash was still very pissed off at the duke for spouting such nonsense, and even the knowledge that Celestia was about to find out didn't seem to calm him in the slightest. He still had this flaming ball of rage deep within his chest, and in all his life it had never felt so…intense. It was like a raging fire, and not even seeing the Duke humiliated in front of him could quench the blaze. However, feeling Twilight lean up against him again worked about as well as a pouring rainstorm on the heat. It seems they both had calming effects on each other. Who knew? “Flash,” Twilight asked finally. “What you said to the duke… About me… Did you mean it?” Flash smiled softly and wrapped her in his wing. “Every word.” “But what about all my mistakes? All my mishaps? I wouldn't even be a princess if it weren't for my friends…” “And I wouldn't be a guard, and almost nopony would be where they are now,” Flash said, squeezing her reassuringly. “We all get to our destinations with help from others. Whether it’s parents, teachers, friends, or even just a random pony offering you an act of kindness; they all helped us get to where we are now. It just so happens that yours helped you farther then you could have ever dreamed.” “But…” “No buts,” Flash said, spinning himself and his date so they were facing each other. “Everypony is always their own worst critic. Mistakes and mishaps are how we learn, and they don't make you any less special then you already are.” “Says you,” Twilight said, looking down, but Flash could see her smiling and could feel her relaxing as he spoke. “And your friends. And your parents. And most of Equestria. And Celestia and Luna. You’re not saying 1000 year old sun goddess of wisdom is wrong, are you?” “You mean the same sun goddess of wisdom that got food poisoning because of her sweet tooth?” Twilight asked slyly, prompting both of them to burst into laughter. As they calmed down, Twilight looked up at Flash again. “Also, I think we can add one more test to the schedule. I mean, if that’s ok with you,” she asked, ducking once again as she blushed. Flash scratched his chin in fake contemplation. “How about that pizza place near the Ponyville town hall this Friday?” “It’s a date,” Twilight said, beaming. Before Flash could respond, both stopped and raised their ears. Though a bit distant, they could clearly hear the sound of a new song beginning in the ballroom. Looking over, Flash realized that somehow one of the windows next to the stage had been opened, letting the music flow smoothly out to the garden. He also swore he saw Pinkie for a second, but he blinked and she was gone. Shaking his head, Flash stood up and offered his hoof to the lovely princess before him. “Another dance?” she asked playfully, raising an eyebrow as she accepted his hoof. “What can I say? I love getting lost in your eyes.” Flash said. Twilight blushed, but didn't look away. In fact, her smile seemed to grow. The two stood on their fore hooves as the song began in earnest. It was a far slower song than the previous one, but neither of them minded. Slowly swaying and twirling under the moon light, the guard and the princess danced. To them, the world just seemed to melt away. The only thing they could see were the eyes of their partner and the sparkle of moonlight on their clothing. They danced even as the song ended and another began, shifting perfectly to match the new, faster tempo, then again as another slow song played. But this last song was special. This song sung of stress, of struggle, of triumph, and of love. Flash didn't even realize how close Twilight was until she closed her eyes and planted her lips on his. Both of their wings shot out, Flash’s in surprise, Twilight’s in joy. But Flash quickly got over his surprise and returned the kiss, savoring the taste and feel of her lips. In the end, it would be the second best kiss she ever gave him. Author's Note Dating a princess checklist... Compliment her? Check. Engage in playful banter? Check. Have friends tease her? Check. Walk into event with her by your side? Check. Get food? Check. Tell her a funny story about her mentor? Check. Imitate Yondu from 'Guardians of the Galaxy' while defending her from annoying noble who always looks annoyed? Check. Get approval from her mentor/ motherly figure? Check. Dance? Check. Walk in the garden? Check. Protect and defend her honor? Check. Have the plot demand Pinkie? Check??? Get asked on another date? Check. Dance in the moonlight and kiss? Double check. Behold, a story so sappy you could make ten gallons of syrup from it. Or twenty orders of nachos if you think it's cheesy. This all started with me imagining Flash imitating Yondu, and then just sort of snowballed from there until you have the masterpiece before you. I will say though that this was actually really fun to write. As I said before, this also turned out to be a prequel to "Gone, But Not Forgotten" and I only realized it could be about 4000 words through it. That ever happen to anyone else. Also, BEHOLD! AN UPDATE AND A NEW STORY ALL IN ONE NIGHT! SURELY THIS MUST BE THE END DAYS! That or my editor is awesome and got them both back to me in the same night. Either or So enjoy, comment, give me advice, and let me know what you think The Gala REWRITE (now with 50% more story, 20% more friends, 15% more Pinkie, and 100% more sassy narration)Flash Sentry straightened his tie one last time as he gazed at the mirror. He was wearing a sharp black tuxedo with a dark blue tie. His orange coat and blue mane had been washed and combed to perfection, and his teeth shone after a vigorous brushing. All in all, he thought he looked quite good. It was certainly better then wearing armor for the thousandth time. Plus, the suit was far more comfortable. Thank you, Rarity, he thought. He hadn’t been sure what to expect after twelve appointments with her and her sewing box, but she had been right — the black looked GOOD. Nodding at his reflection, he turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door, only to immediately face-hoof, go back in, grab the purple rose with no thorns that lay on top of his dresser, and leave again. Hopefully he wouldn't be that forgetful for the rest of the night. As he walked down the hallway, he tried to imagine what would happen tonight. He had never been to Celestia’s Gala, and, based on the stories he’d heard around the town and castle, he didn’t think he would have ever wanted to. In fact, he STILL wasn’t sure if he really WANTED to go. It sounded just as boring as any other social event he was forced to attend during his guard duties, and extra stuffy with all the nobles crowding up the ball room. But Twilight needed him to avoid the criticism showing up alone would bring, especially after what happened a month ago with Duke Bull Horn, and there was no way he was going to let her down. He couldn’t help but growl slightly at the thought of that stuck-up jerk. If Twilight hadn’t taken care of him, Flash would have LOVED to personally toss him out of the castle. The things he said were just so…so… Flash took a deep breath, held it for five counts, and let it go, hoping it would calm him down. It worked, a little. That was in the past, and tonight, Princess Celestia and tons of other guards would be there, which would hopefully dissuade the stallion from speaking about Twilight like that again. Hopefully. He was jostled out of his thoughts as he arrived at Twilight’s room. Well, this is it. The big moment. Sorta. He knocked on the door, receiving a quick call of ‘just a second’ from inside. When the door opened, any doubts Flash had were washed away as he tried to keep his mouth from hanging open and his wings from springing out in excitement. This night would be fine, and by Luna was he one lucky stallion! Twilight was breathtaking. She wore an elegant purple dress that seemed to flow with every move she made. It was covered in star designs that made it look like the beauty of the cosmos had wrapped themselves around her. Her mane was done in a style similar to the one at her coronation, and it seemed to shine with its own set of stars. She was blushing, which somehow only made her even more beautiful. “Well…” she asked, nervously, not making eye contact with Flash. “How do I look?” Flash blinked and said the only thing that came to his mind: “I think you might make Princess Celestia jealous.” Twilight blushed harder as her head shot up in surprise. “FLASH!” “What? You look spectacular!” he said, gesturing at her with his hooves. “I bet you are going to outshine everyone there, even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!” Twilight lowered her head and let out a sigh, muttering, “You don't need to exaggerate so much.” Oh yes, he did. Well, he WOULD, if there was anything TO embellish. “First, I’m not exaggerating. Second, as your date, it would normally be my job to compliment you and exaggerate. The only problem is that there is no way I can possibly think of exaggerating how good you look.” He smiled gently as he lifted her chin so her eyes met his own. They were beautiful, just like the rest of her. “Trust me, you. Are. Perfect…almost.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the purple rose he had nearly forgotten and gently slid it behind her left ear. “There, now you’re perfect.” She looked at him with wide eyes and bright cheeks, her mouth trying to form words but only succeeded in making her look like a fish out of water. It was priceless. Twilight quickly recovered, rolled her eyes, and lightly punched his shoulder as she finally got her blushing under control. “Ha ha, very funny, Mr. Romance. Anything else you need to do as my date?” “Engage in playful banter, maybe flirt with you, and make sure you have a good night so that I can ask you out again,” Flash said with a huge grin, trying not to laugh as he earned himself a deadpan stare from Twilight. However, he could make out the smile that was trying to work its way through. “Technically, you only asked me out because I was refusing to ask you out, given that I didn't want to force you to make up for my mistake, remember?” “But I WAS still the one to ask you.” Flash said as he took his place by her side and raised a wing to ask permission. Twilight gave a small nod and Flash dropped the wing across her back. It was much easier than holding hooves, especially as a pegasus. Plus, it enabled him to hold Twilight all the closer to him, so bonus. Her dress was smooth under his feathers and he could feel her wings twitch against him. “Besides, if this night goes well, maybe we can have a real date. One without nobles and all this pomp and circumstance.” “Even though I don’t really know if I’ll like you more than just a friend?” Twilight asked, twitching nervously. “That’s what dates are for,” Flash said, undeterred. “Think of them like research. You like research, right?” That earned him a silly smile from the purple princess. Victory. “Then I guess we’ll just need to see if this project requires multiple tests to reach a conclusion,” Twilight said as the two began to leave the castle to meet up with her friends. “I suppose so…” One month ago… Flash Sentry was, without any reasonable doubt, completely and utterly BORED! Seriously, how long could one noble talk about a freaking HOUSE?! He had been going for so long that Flash had enough time to count the number of panes in each window in the entire thrown room. Twice. And that was STILL. MORE. ENTERTAINING! Could the sweet embrace of death free him from this eternal torture? Or at least the slightly less sweet embrace of a piano falling on his head and knocking him out? Well, he couldn’t complain all that much. He wasn’t the only victim here - Princess Twilight was the one actually listening to this windbag, and he could tell she was not having fun. She was slumping in her throne, her wings were twitching, and her smile was ever so slightly strained. Spike was snoring in his own throne on the opposite side of where Flash stood. At least the little dragon was being spared this torture. Think Flash, he thought. There has to be something, ANYTHING you can do to distract yourself. Well, there was nothing IN the throne room. He would have even tried to memorize the crystal map (or was it the crystal table? He never asked) if it was actually activated, but nope. Oh, good Celestia, when he was this bored, sometimes he wondered how he even ended up in this situation. When did all this start again? Six…no, about five months ago, that was it. Shining Armor had selected him and a group of crystal ponies to transfer to Ponyville in order to serve as the Twilight Guard. Cool name, and as the name implied, they would be protecting Princess Twilight. While she had originally refused to have guards, despite the many, MANY cases she could have used them, the aftermath of the Starlight Glimmer Village Incident had led to Celestia, Luna, and Cadance all overruling her on the issue. Despite the importance of their task, the group was small, far smaller than Flash would have expected. They were only about thirty strong, but Shining Armor had said that this was mainly to allow Princess Twilight to get used to them before he expanded it. Smart idea, though what had come as a major shock to Flash was that he was put in charge as Princess Twilight’s guard captain. HIM! Was he REALLY the most qualified pony for this job? Thankfully, it actually didn't turn out too be too difficult. His primary job was setting up the schedule and positions of the guard, and ensuring that everypony was keeping up with their training. However, given the fact that Twilight had received no guards up until this point, Flash’s primary concern was making sure her castle was secure, as this was the most likely place that she would be attacked, if it ever came to that. The only problem was that Twilight was still stubbornly refusing to allow any more guards than the ones Shining had already sent, which meant that Flash didn't have enough guards to protect her AND the massive castle she now called home. Maybe the other princesses could have overridden her again, but they hadn’t. Maybe because they didn’t want to force too much on her at once? Flash didn't know. Unfortunately, because Twilight still didn’t think she even needed guards in the first place, no amount of reasoning, talking, or graphs could convince her to get more. Flash had tried for hours, but she had her own counter arguments AND her own graphs to combat his. Not even Spike could out-logic her on that front. As a compromise, Flash himself volunteered to be Princess Twilight’s personal guard. This way, he could be sure she was protected when out of the castle, and with the communication crystals from the Crystal Empire, Flash could call for backup should the need arise. That had yet to happen, thankfully, despite the crazy shenanigans that happened in Ponyville on a weekly basis (usually on Tuesdays). Plus, chances were that Shining Armor would NOT be pleased if something happened to his sister, and Flash knew from other guards’ stories what would happen if Shining lost his temper. As an unforeseen bonus, this arrangement also meant he had more time to talk with Princess Twilight outside of his scheduled duties. She was actually quite pleasant to listen to. Surprisingly for Flash, she had just as much interest in old legends and grand adventure tales as he did. The two had spent hours discussing them and sharing the ones they knew, and it really made Flash smile every time they just sat down to talk. Sure, when she switched the conversation, some of her more technical talk went so far over his head it might as well be making a trip to the moon, but it was still fun to listen and watch just how animated she was. Also surprising was that Princess Twilight had, on their first day, told them to just call her ‘Twilight,’ saying that she didn’t want the ponies who would be working so closely with her to call her ‘Princess’ all the time. This had been the first time a princess had specifically asked not to be referred to by her title, so Flash was immediately intrigued. Very intrigued. So intrigued, in fact, that it made him pay more attention to her habits and behaviors than he did for the other princesses. He had quickly concluded that she was actually pretty cute, and rather dorky. Brilliant observations there, Sherlock Hooves. Even MORE surprising (because apparently that was possible), Twilight was really taking the time to get know the guards on a personal level too. ALL of them. Celestia, Cadance, and Luna always accepted requests for time off for family events, but Twilight remembered when the guards’ family birthdays were coming, gave them pay bonuses, and scheduled vacations without needing to be asked. She even gave Flash an extra few days so he could travel to Canterlot and deliver his father’s birthday gift in person, an amazing gesture considering his father couldn’t walk due to a flight accident. AND SHE REMEMBERED THAT! It just served to make her even more awesome— “Thank you, Duke Long Winded,” Twilight said, breaking Flash from his daydreams. “I’ll be sure to consider visiting your family’s estate.” Did that mean…Could it be…? “Excellent,” the short stallion with a lime green coat and a dark green mane said, bowing politely and tipping his top hat. “I certainly hope to see you soon,” he continued, nodding and turning to leave. The moment he was gone, both Flash and Twilight sagged dramatically. Sweet Celestia, it was OVER! “Thank goodness,” Twilight muttered. “If I had to hear one more thing about his collection of clocks…” She sighed, slumping even further. “Please tell me that’s all,” she begged, looking at Flash pleadingly. Flash just smiled. “Yes, Twilight, he was the last meeting you had for the da-“ BANG! Flash reacted on his well-trained guard instincts, leaping on the table and blocking the princess from view before he even realized who was standing in the doorway. Then, when his brain caught up with his body and he registered the pudgy brown unicorn with the red and orange mane, he had to redirect his mental facilities to try and not facehoof in exasperation. OH, COME ON! “Princesss Twilight,” Duke Bull Horn thundered as he stormed forward, “I demand an audience with you this instant!” Off to the side, Flash saw that Spike (on the floor, oddly enough — Flash guessed that he fell off his throne when the duke came in) was frowning at the throne room’s doorway. A thick orange barrier was blocking the entrance. Two of Twilight’s guards were hammering away at it, but Flash saw a flick of a purple wing in the corner of his eye, and they stood down. UGH. As if this day could get any worse, Flash thought, but there was nothing for him to do but jump down and resume his position next to Twilight. As Bull Horn hadn’t directly attacked Twilight or any guards, Flash couldn’t justify throwing him out before he delivered his speech. Eh. He was sure it wouldn’t take too long before the duke shoved his hoof in his mouth. Bull Horn was, in Flash’s opinion, one of the worst nobles in Equestria. Some, like Prince Blueblood, were annoying, but at least they left you alone if you left them alone. This duke, on the other hoof, would constantly seek out and verbally attack anypony who didn’t give him what he wanted. Either that, or he would rant about his family crest - a lion head, which also happened to be his cutie mark. In the duke’s mind, he was the only one that mattered, and he would stop at nothing to make sure he got everything he felt he deserved. This had led him into no less than three confrontations with Princess Twilight. Make that FOUR. Many of the nobles assumed that Twilight had the same authority as Princess Celestia, whereas in reality she could still be overruled by Celestia or Luna. And maybe Cadance (he needed to ask about that one). Despite this, and the fact that her inability to overrule Celestia and Luna had been made VERY WELL KNOW, many nobles had STILL tried at least once to convince Twilight to undo something that had already been decided by the Solar Sisters. Not only could Twilight do nothing, but most of the time, she agreed with Celestia and Luna’s decisions. Seriously, who WOULD approve of cultivating poison joke for use in pranking powders!? That was insane! Then again, it was Bull Horn’s idea, but he digressed. This had led to more than one…awkward conversation. Not to mention plenty of wailing nobles, but they were always wailing about something. Bunch of big babies. It was probably the ONLY downside to his new job, ESPECIALLY when this windbag showed up. “Duke Bull Horn,” Twilight began, “please lower your barrier. I don’t know why you are here, but antagonizing my guards is not the way to push whatever your agenda may be.” “I wouldn’t need it if your ‘guards’ understood how to treat a REAL noble,” Bull Horn huffed, but he did as she asked…for once. Real noble, my flank, Flash thought, glaring at Bull Horn. If his pompous and self-absorbed attitude wasn't bad enough, he had a habit of talking down to Twilight, almost as if he believed that he was above her. Well, she would be miles above him even without a crown, in Flash’s opinion. However, before he or Twilight could reply to Bull Horn’s remark, a loud belch echoed through the chamber. Turning his head, Flash caught the end of the green fire escaping from Spike’s mouth as it condensed into a scroll with a small ‘pop.’ “One moment, Duke,” Twilight said, grabbing the scroll in her magic and unwrapping the red cord holding it shut. Two gold tickets immediately slid out and onto the crystal table (Crystal map? He would REALLY need to clarify that soon). “Ah, perfect timing, for once,” Bull Horn huffed, prompting Flash and Twilight to both raise an eyebrow. Flash recognized those as tickets for the Grand Galloping Gala, but what did they have to do with why he was here? Flash optimistically hoped it was because he had lost his ticket, but he highly doubted it, not with the duke’s history of audiences with Twilight… Please let it be that he just lost his ticket? “Why is it perfect timing?” Twilight asked, her voice carefully neutral. “Because it is exactly what I am here to discuss,” Bull Horn said, raising his nose into the air. “I don’t know nor care what a COMMONER like yourself used to do at the Gala, nor why you were even invited in the first place, but since Celestia deemed it fit to elevate someone as MUNDANE as yourself to the status of PRINCESS, you need an escort to the Gala. One that can make up for your lack of NOBLE blood.” Why did the universe hate him? Why couldn’t it use all that energy to torture this diluted moron? Because if he was about to say what Flash thought he was about to say… “And my son is the only noble capable of such a feat. As such, he is to be your escort for the Gala.” Oh, BUCK him. Bull Horn’s son, Money Bags, was just as bad as his father. The only difference was that he was far more likely to simply whine and throw a tantrum than to actually do anything of importance, which made him ever so slightly more bearable. Only slightly. Judging by the angry growl Spike was giving him, Flash knew he was thinking the same thing. Seriously, that had to be the most ludicrous and blatantly offensive demand Bull Horn had made yet! They very idea that HE would try to dictate who Twilight was to take to the Gala was so nonsensical, even PINKIE couldn’t come up that kind of idea. And she was literally the least logical pony Flash had ever met, PERIOD! Didn’t make her any less fun to be around, but STILL! “Duke Bull Horn,” Twilight said, her voice cold and her expression tightly controlled. “Who I take to the Gala is my decision, and mine alone. And seeing as I hardly even know your son, I’m afraid he will not be my escort to the Gala.” Well said, Princess. Tell him how it is. The duke scoffed. “This is a matter you should leave to those who know best, ‘princess.’” He dragged out the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “Not one to be made by someone who barely comprehends her new position.” Flash knew that Duke Bull Horn was oblivious to a lot of things, but did he really think he knew what Twilight’s new role entailed? He was just a loud, whining noble. It seemed a bit odd, and very egocentric, for him to believe that he knew more about Twilight’s new position than she did. More so than usual, at least. “I do know what’s best for myself, Duke,” Twilight said, her mask breaking slightly to let a bit of her anger show through. “And I think I know far more about being royalty than you do, so again, this decision is MINE.” But Bull Horn didn’t appear to be moved. In fact, he just seemed to be frustrated now. This dude needed to take a hint. “As if your mere months in power could compare to a lifetime of experience. This is the best option, for ALL parties involved, and you should be grateful that I am willing to offer you my son, someone capable of distracting from your…BLAND background.” Flash really hoped his face would freeze in that ridiculous expression. See how ‘noble’ he was then. “Duke Horn, for the last time, I will not, under any circumstances, be taking your son to the Gala as my escort,” Twilight said. Her tone was as cold as ice now and she glaring at the duke hard enough to bore holes in his horn. “And I’m telling you that there is no other option!” Bull Horn proclaimed, his nose still hoisted towards the heavens. “My son is the only one who can POSSIBLY be worthy to fulfill such an important role, and YOU. WILL. TAKE. HIM.” “I WILL NOT!” Twilight commanded. “YOU don't have the authority to decide who I take to the Gala, Bull Horn, just like you don't get to open a dangerous gem mine on protected land or start a lumber factory in the Everfree Forest.” The duke’s face twisted in rage, but Twilight did not break her gaze or even blink. Flash, meanwhile, had to revamp his struggles not to facehoof. He had forgotten about THOSE stupid ideas. Good Celestia, this stallion was an idiot. “You little b—” Oh HELL no! “Don’t. You. DARE. Finish. That. Sentence,” Flash snapped through gritted teeth, stepping forward. There was no way in hell he would let the duke use such language to describe Twilight, princess or not. “You may be a guest here, ‘Duke’, but that doesn't mean I can't kick your sorry flank out for insulting or harassing the princess.” “Keep out of this, you worthless airhead,” Bull Horn replied, only to find his mouth suddenly gone as Twilight lit her horn, her eyes glowing. Oh, you done messed up now, dude. Flash couldn’t hide his smirk as he stepped back and let Twilight go to work. “I DO NOT tolerate racial slurs in MY CASTLE!” Twilight thundered, the entire castle trembling. “Now you listen to me, and you listen well. I. WILL. NOT. Be taking your son to the Gala as my escort because I ALREADY HAVE A DATE, and if you do not drop this issue, I will make sure you NEVER RECEIVE ANOTHER GALA TICKET AS LONG AS YOU LIVE! “Now GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!” And with that, Bull Horn vanished in the flash of Twilight's teleportation spell, one that most likely left him upside down in the town’s fountain, if Flash read the little quirk of Twilight’s mouth correctly. Oh, how he wished he had a camera set up. Twilight’s eyes stopped glowing and she sank down into her throne before facetabling on the crystal map. Or, at least, she would have facetabled on the crystal map if Flash hadn't grabbed a pillow from underneath the table and slid it between her head and the tabletop. He had made sure to keep at least one pillow under the table when it became clear that Twilight would facetable after every audience with a noble. At least, this way, he could prevent her headaches from getting any worse. “Thank you,” she muttered into the pillow, releasing a long sigh. “Of course, Twilight,” Flash said with a nod, giving her a slight pat on the back. “At least he’s gone,” Spike said. “But I didn't know you had a date, Twilight.” “I don’t,” Twilight groaned into the pillow. “Which means when I show up at the Gala alone, he’s gonna just harass me even more and claim that I’m a liar. I’ll never here the end of this now, all because me and my big mouth.” She lifted her head and smushed it back into the pillow with a ‘whack.’ Frankly, Flash wanted to facetable himself after what had just happened, but he thought Twilight had that covered. “Then why did you say you did?” “Because I lost my temper and I wanted him to drop this stupid idea of his. But by doing so, I just made things worse for myself.” “Can’t you just ask somepony in town to go with you?” Flash asked. “You seem to be pretty popular.” Everypony in town seemed to love her…in the form of citizens loving their princess, at least. “Anypony I ask would just say yes because I’m a princess, even if they don't actually want to get to know me better. Who would say no to the honor of escorting the Princess of Friendship to the biggest event of the year? So how would I know if somepony was actually going with me because they liked me? Plus, if the pony thinks they have to say yes, I would be putting them under all this stress just for me, stress that would just be compounded because the duke is probably going to confront me at least once at the Gala! “And what if they say no because they don’t want to go with somepony who they think is crazy?” “Come on, Twilight, no pony thinks you're crazy,” Spike said. “Smarty Pants incident, parasprites, time-traveling-self-doomsday preparation—” Huh. Flash hadn't actually heard the story behind that one. He’d need to remember that for later. “Ok, so maybe you’ve had a few bad incidents,” Spike said, wincing, “but that doesn't mean somepony won’t say yes. And if that fails, you could always take Flash.” “HUH?” Dragon say WHAT NOW?! Both Twilight's and Flash’s heads whipped around to stare at Spike in shock. “I mean, he’s always escorting you into town and stuff as part of his job, so you could easily just say you wanted to get to know the pony responsible for protecting you a little bit better. It would be enough to at least show the duke that you weren't lying.” Flash opened his mouth the contradict him, but then stopped to consider Spike’s words for a moment. Twilight HAD said she had a date, so as long as she showed up with SOMEPONY, she should be fine. The duke would still be mad, but he was always mad. Heck, he was probably mad at the sun for waking him up in the morning. Hehehehe, ‘Celestia, I demand you turn off the sun!’ Oh, that would be a fun audience to witness. And Spike was right. He was seen so often with Twilight that it would be perfectly believable for him to be her escort to the Gala. But wait… This was the GALA. Even IF he was just an escort, it was almost certain that the nobles, or anypony else for that matter, would see him as something more. They wouldn’t just see two friends having fun together; they would see a couple going on a date whether they liked it or not. Actually, given the dress requirements, the fancy food and music, the dancing…it WOULD be just like a date. A really fancy one surrounded by annoying nobles, but still a DATE! Oh boy… Flash had only ever had ONE date before, and while not a BAD date by any means, it was…subpar, to be sure. So much so that when he had joined the guard shortly after, he had never tried again. So he had NO experience with this kind of thing, and the idea of trying to be a good date for somepony as amazing as Twilight was…frankly, a bit terrifying. But it was also a rather exciting idea as well. He actually liked spending time with Twilight, a lot now that he thought about it. She was smart, funny, talented, a bit dorky at times, but overall, just really fun to be around. In fact, now that Spike pointed it out, dating her would probably be really enjoyable, maybe even magical. Yes, dating the element of magic could be magical. Your detective skills are unmatched, Flash. He could actually picture what the date would be like at the Gala. He’d have a nice, fancy suit while Twilight would look stunning in whatever masterpiece Rarity could dream up. He would go through the playful motions of teasing and flirting with her, holding the door for her, pulling her chair out, complimenting her to no end, all the things a gentle-colt would do. They would laugh and have fun, so much so that even the nobles couldn’t ruin it. And when they danced, she wou— “Spike!” Twilight cried, pulling Flash from his thoughts. Oops, he’d gotten distracted. What was she saying again? “I can’t just force him to go with me to the Gala! That would be abusing my powers as a princess, and—” Nervous or not, Flash decided to take the chance. Here goes nothing. “Hey, Twilight, will you go the Gala with me?” Twilight tried to spin to face him, but only succeeded in falling out of her throne in shock. Flash winced. At least she fell in the gap between the table between the map in the throne, rather than smacking her head on the table. So glad the universe was here to help him a little, rather than just curse him, as per usual. “I…HUH???” “Would you…” Flash repeated, helping her to her hooves and pointing at her. “Like to go…” He pointed to the door. “To the Gala…” He touched the golden ticket on the table. “With me?” His hoof came to his chest. It was very hard not to laugh as Twilight sputtered and tried to come up with a coherent answer, her face bright red. “But-but-but I-I can’t ask you to, I mean you don’t…” Very, very hard. Biting his lip to keep from laughing, Flash gently covered her mouth with a hoof, making her purple eyes meet his blue ones. Dang, they were pretty… Focus… “Twilight, as your friend, I can’t let you be forced into going with somepony as horrible as Money Bags, or any other noble for that matter. Seeing you happy makes me happy, so I’m not asking you to go because you’re forcing me to. I’m asking you to go with me because I want to make sure you enjoy your time at the Gala, and because worst comes to worst, everything goes right back to the way it was when the Gala is over. Ok?” Flash gave her a soft smile. Twilight blushed and looked away. Ok, now she was just being cute. “O-ok,” she stuttered. “I-I would be honored to have you accompany me to the Gala.” “Cool,” Flash said, grinning. “Now I believe your friend Rarity makes suits right?” Twilight nodded. “Then I will head over there later today so I can get fitted, as I never thought of bringing a suit with me.” Obviously. He was a GUARD, not a BUTLER. “We can go now, actually,” Twilight said, still refusing to meet Flash’s eyes. “I need to pick up a book I lent her anyway, and it's been a while since I've seen her. We can catch up while she's taking your measurements.” “Can I come?” Spike asked very excitedly. At least he wasn’t outright drooling the way he normally was when he talked about the mare of his dreams. “Sure,” Twilight said, giggling at the little dragon as he leapt up to his normal position on her back. Flash didn’t mind the extra company. They could all use a walk after The Wild Bull Horn Storm, or whatever that storm of idiocy was. The present… As Flash and Twilight stepped out of the castle, they were saluted by the two guards stationed out front. Just a short ways away, Flash could see the rest of the Element Bearers and Spike waiting near the flying carriages that would be taking them to Canterlot. The sun was just beginning its descent, bathing the land in a warm orange glow and making the crystal castle sparkle in a brilliant display. Too bad we can’t stay back and watch the view together, Flash thought. Maybe another night. Because right now, Rarity was waving at them so furiously that she was in danger of cutting herself on her dress…or at least, that’s how it looked. She somehow had designed it to look like it had been completely cut from crystal. It was so twinkly that it could have blended in with Twilight’s castle, and Flash had the distinct impression it was trying to blind him. Flash examined the other dresses as they approached, if only to keep from seeing spots in his eyes for the rest of the night. Rarity must have made all of them, because while they were cut in the same style as Twilight’s, they were carefully designed to reflect the pony who wore it. That seemed to be a recurring theme in her designs. Applejack was draped in a gown all the colors of a fall forest, while Fluttershy shimmered like the wings of a butterfly. Rainbow’s dress was as light and flowing as the wind it was patterned after, and Pinkie…well, in true Pinkie fashion, she looked like a giant cupcake topper. They all looked amazing, but Flash thought Twilight looked the best. Though since she was his date, he was probably biased. Spike was there too, dressed in a black tuxedo just like Flash, only he also wore a top hat and carried a small cane. Flash thought he looked rather dapper, and the glances Rarity was giving him implied she did too. He waved as the couple approached. “There you two are. What took you so long?” “Pre-date banter,” Flash replied, grinning as Twilight rolled her eyes. The others all giggled at his answer. Thank you ladies, I’m here all the time. No, seriously. I live here. “I must say, Twilight,” Rarity began. “You look simply stunning. I knew my modifications would help, but I didn’t expect them to have quite this effect.” “Indeed she does,” Flash agreed before the blushing Twilight could reply. “But what do you mean by modifications?” “Enhancements, darling. This is not only her first Gala as a PRINCESS, but her first Gala with a DATE as well.” She smiled and winked at him. “I had to make her look her best, so I added a bit more flare by redoing the cosmos patters to be more FABULOUS. So what do YOU think, darling? Hmmmmm?” Rarity’s gaze was suddenly as sharp-looking as her dress, and Flash was vividly reminded of her threatening him during his suit-fitting sessions with her very long, very pointy needles if he even THOUGHT about mistreating Twilight. Granted, there was no way Flash would ever do that, but he was nonetheless very pleased when Twilight had caught her in the act and stopped her. At least, this time, he should be fine. He smiled. “While I always think she looks amazing, you’ve outdone yourself this time, Rarity,” he said, laughing a little as Twilight tried to hide behind his wing to block her red face. “An excellent answer,” Rarity said with a nod, and Flash relaxed slightly despite himself. “I think you might have quite the catch here, Twilight.” “Mmmm…” Twilight replied, still hiding. Flash hoped she wouldn't be this shy ALL night. As adorable as it was, he actually DID want to get to know her more. “Enough chit chat,” Rainbow said, flapping her wings impatiently. “Let’s just go already! I wanna talk to the Wonderbolts before they get surrounded by ‘nobles’ again like they did last year. I couldn’t even get a single word in.” “There’s also the rush we gotta worry about,” Applejack said, moving towards the second chariot in line. “Everypony’s gonna get there at once, so unless we wanna get bogged down in the mad dash inside, I suggest we get moving.” “Fair point,” Rarity conceded, nodding. Flash shrugged. He had no experience with the Gala, so he decided to just go with the flow on this one. However, he was surprised when he and Twilight were ushered to the first chariot on their own. Judging by the look of shock and confusion on Twilight’s face, he guessed she was too. When they looked questioningly at Rarity, she said, “A princess should enter first, and who better to escort her off the chariot than her date?” Flash thought she was enjoying teasing poor Twilight almost as much as he was. That, or she just REALLY loved trying to play matchmaker. Once they were all secure, the chariots lifted off the ground and made straight for Canterlot. Overall, the ride was only about half an hour and while still early fall, Twilight spent most of that time under Flash’s wing to avoid the cold wind rushing around them. Not that he minded. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Ever since Spike had brought up the idea of him and Twilight dating, Flash had been paying more attention to Twilight and her...well, her everything, really. She was strong and determined, just like any guard, and she would work to accomplish her goals and to overcome any problem. Yet she was also kind and understanding, always willing to lend an ear to others or assist them with their problems over her own. Despite her status, she would still participate in community events, or perform community services like reading to the sick foals at Ponyville Hospital. Her joy and excitement was infectious, even if Flash didn’t know why she was so excited. And yet she was humble, never overstating or overblowing her actions. She was willing to show her flaws and fears, reaching out to others in times of need… … Oh dear Celestia, he was in love with her. Or at least that’s what he thought those butterflies in his stomach meant, the ones that flared up every time she sat so regal on her throne, or read books so fast her eyes would blur over the page, or laughed with him over a plate of Hay Burgers, or stayed up until three in the morning reading with Spike draped over her back because he had given up trying to get her to sleep…But no, he couldn’t let these feelings overwhelm him. Not tonight. It was already a stressful night for her, and there was no way he was going to add to it. He would just be there for her, making her laugh and distracting her from whatever stupidity Bull Horn would throw at her. But right now, he needed to distract himself from how good it felt to have her snuggled under his wing, because that was NOT HELPING. He stared out over the countryside as they flew towards Canterlot, which, whaddaya know, was a pretty good distraction. He enjoyed the sight of the vast open lands shining in the waning sunset, and the look of serenity on Twilight’s face told him she loved it too. Maybe he could take her on a flying date to Cloudsdale on another perfect evening like this. The sun reflecting of her mane and eyes… Bad brain, bad. Focus… Before long, they were flying over the streets of Canterlot, which was decorated for the Gala. Even if most ponies couldn’t get into the palace, there were still plenty of smaller parties held by individual ponies as well. Flash had attended some of the less formal ones before joining the guard, and boy, were they chaotic. Not quite Pinkie-chaotic, but surprisingly close. It truly was a citywide event, possibly even an Equestria wide event, though Flash thought the small parties might be more fun than the actual Gala. Actually, if the Gala was open to everypony, would anypony new actually come? Or would they just stay with their friends at the smaller parties? Ehh, that wasn’t important right now. The castle itself looked far more impressive than it normally did. There were banners stretched between all of the towers and wrapped around as much of the building as was possible without blocking any windows or balconies. There were balloons tied to much of the outer walls and elegant flower displays lined the walkway leading up to the main doors. Lights also covered much of the outer castle, making the entire structure appear to sparkle in the last rays of sunlight. Just like Twilight’s mane… Focus… When they landed outside the large golden doors at the main entrance, Flash hopped out first and offered a hoof to Twilight like a true gentle-colt. His heart fluttered as she accepted his assistance, although she blushed again likely because the early-arriving nobles were watching the two of them. Nearby, some ponies were also whispering, while others openly glared at Flash, but he really didn't care. However, he could tell that Twilight did care by how much she was fidgeting, so he didn't hesitate to wrap his wing around her again as a makeshift shield. The nobles sniffed, as though they thought he was being too forward, but oh well, too bad for them. Twilight certainly didn't mind as she relaxed in his grip once again. He could get used to holding her like this… The other Element Bearers soon arrived and immediately gathered around them, buffering the couple from the rest of the nobles. Rainbow Dash in particular was giving them some pretty nasty looks. Flash was torn between trying not to appear too pleased as the other ponies squirmed and praying to the Solar Sisters that he never was on the receiving end of one of those glares. They couldn’t go inside right away because Rarity would. Not. Stop. Fawning over the castle, but once Applejack and Rainbow gave her elbows to the forelegs, everypony (and dragon) moved towards the front doors and the Gala. But then the universe decided it was time to spice things up… AGAIN! “What is the meaning of this?” a familiar loud and very annoying voice sounded. Flash couldn’t help it this time. He facehoofed and turned to the left, catching sight of Duke Bull Horn angrily stomping towards the group. Can’t we at least get INSIDE first!? he thought. Then at least the guards could THROW HIM OUT! Ok, maybe they could banish him from the grounds for causing a ruckus, but it would be FAR more entertaining to see him get thrown out. Especially if he ended up in another fountain. However, before Flash could move, he saw the rest of the girls interposing themselves between the duke and Twilight, and, by extension, him. He blinked, for a moment unsure of what to do. He settled for squeezing Twilight with his wing. If he needed to intervene with the others, he could. Bull Horn, however, snorted at the barrier in front of him. “Get out of my way. This is between me and that sorry excuse for a princess.” Flash bristled, rage making it’s way to the forefront of his mind as he made ready to storm closer and speak up in defense of Twilight. He was NOT going to let him talk about her like that, ESPECIALLY TONIGHT! But to his immense surprise, FLUTTERSHY beat him to it. “How dare you!” Fluttershy said, her usual quiet voice as hard as rock. “That’s no way to talk to Princess Twilight. She’s a kind, smart, and wonderful pony who earned her title in every way. So don’t you try and insult her like that, mister!” The duke actually took a few stamps back at that, and Flash smiled a little, thoroughly impressed. Nice one, Fluttershy. Hopefully, that— “Be quiet, you peasant!” Bull Horn thundered, puffing out his broad chest in her face. FLuttershy ‘eeped’ and backed away, shaking. Never mind. However, as Flash once again prepared to move forward and assist, this time Rainbow and Applejack took point. “Don’t you yell at her!” Rainbow yelled, flying right up to the duke and poking him in the chest. “She’s way better than some stuck-up jerk like you. And just because it’s a fancy party doesn’t mean I can’t kick you’re flank!” Can you do that anyway? Seriously, what’s stopping you? Twilight can probably pardon you for Luna’s sake! The duke returned the pegasus’s glare as Applejack moved up next to Fluttershy and draped a comforting hoof over her back. “What’s so great about bein’ a noble anyway?” Applejack asked. Bull Horn wheeled his head around to face her, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out were unintelligible stammers. The orange mare smirked. “If it meant Ah gotta act like you do, I’d much rather just stay the way Ah am, thank you very much.” “Oh don’t let him fool you, dear,” Rarity said, also stepping forward. “He’s no more of a noble then Prince Blueblood. Sure, he may have a title, but his personality is that of a raging Diamond Dog compared to that of a true noble pony.” Bull Horn’s right eye was starting to twitch now. Luna, it was getting really hard not to laugh at him now. “And at least Diamond Dogs have better breath,” Spike added, prompting a chuckle from most of the group. Ok, now Flash was really impressed, and he could guess Twilight was rather amused based on the amount of muffled snickering he could hear from his side. The girls and Spike had managed to turn a big shot like Duke Bull Horn into a stuttering mess who couldn’t even respond. He’d would have never believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, and it made him smile. Also, rule one for dating Twilight: Don’t piss off her friends. Luna help him if he ever did that. But…wait…where was Pinkie? She wasn't with the rest of the girls, so where did she— Oh… OH BOY, THIS WAS GONNA BE GOOD. The duke was so focused on the four mares in front of him, he never saw Pinkie sneak up behind him and pull out something…fun. She then tapped Bull Horn on the shoulder. “Pardon me, my good sir,” she said, giggling at her own funny accent. The duke spun around, most likely to start shouting, only to squeak as he came face to face with a large cannon pointed directly at him. Pinkie was lying on top of it, her pose turning quite a few heads. “You wanted to insult my friends?” Pinkie said, her voice as sweet as sugar. “I think you will find your world to be a little more…pink, if you do.” Her smile was slowly turning more maniacal. Ok, rule two: DON’T MESS WITH THE PINK PARTY PONY! He would make sure to highlight, bold, and circle that one when he made his list. And yes, he WAS going to write a list. Twilight loved list… FOCUS… “I…that…you…” Bull Horn stammered, looking around in a panic. “GUARDS! Arrest that maniac for bringing a loaded cannon to the Gala.” Like that would work. This was PINKIE! Certainly she had a way out of this. As a nearby guard approached, Pinkie pulled out a set of papers from her mane and handed it to the mare in armor, all without taking her eyes off the duke. “I am a certified party pony, and this is my license to carry and use my party cannon to defend myself and my friends from sadness and frowns, which this stallion was attempting to force onto my friends.” The mare looked over the papers, nodded, and handed them back to Pinkie. “Everything checks out. Enjoy the party, miss,” the guard said before returning to her post. Huh. Of all the things Pinkie could have done, Flash wasn’t expecting it to be something so…tame…and legal. But whatever. The look of sure confusion and terror on the duke’s face was well worth it. “Y-You’re nuts,” Bull Horn stammered, pointing a hoof at the pink mare. Pinkie leapt up to her hooves and dramatically pointing back at the duke. “No, I’m CONDIMENTS! I’ve been promoted!” she exclaimed, prompting Flash and Twilight to both burst out in laughter. Oh, dear Celestia, she read WAY too many old comic books! It still didn’t make it any less funny though. What’s better, Bull Horn seemed to finally realize that this wasn't a fight he was going to win as he backed away from the posing mare before running away in full retreat. Flash took it back. If the rest of the night was like this, then BY CELESTIA was it going to be a fun night. Finally getting his laughter back under control, he watched Pinkie slip the party cannon back into her mane, because where else would she put it? Shaking he head, he turned to look at Twilight, who was smiling comfortably. “Thanks for that, everyone,” Flash said. “I think you just made this night all the better for us, right, Twilight?” “Well, it’s certainly better than having to wait half an hour for him to leave us alone,” Twilight said jokingly. “But seriously, thank you, girls. I don’t know what I would do without you.” “Think nothing of it, dear,” Rarity said, smiling proudly. “We couldn’t just let that buffoon ruin your night, now, could we?” The others voiced their agreement before Twilight swept them, and Flash, into a big hug with her wings. Flash would never admit it, but being squeezed up against his date like that actually made HIM blush. Not that he was complaining... After Twilight let go, thankfully without noticing his blush, everyone continued to the doors, laughing amongst themselves at putting the duke in his place. Flash wasn’t sure that they had seen the last of him, but what could he POSSIBLY do once they were in the Gala? Bull Horn may be a moron, but even HE wouldn't be willing to risk losing his status by messing up the Gala. At least, Flash hoped he wouldn’t be. Glancing at Twilight again, Flash decided to put Duke Bull Horn out of his mind. Making sure she had fun was all that mattered, and no amount of crazy nobles was going to stop him from doing just that. After arriving at the doors and showing the guards their tickets, they all took turns walking into the main entrance hall with him and Twilight going first. Said entrance hall had a large set of marble stairs directly facing the doors where Princess Celestia would usually stand and greet those who entered. Normally, she was the first one at the Gala and spent her evening at the top of said stairs, but her absence seemed to imply that she had yet to arrive. The ballroom was off to the right through another set of doors, but Flash was distracted from looking inside by the fact that Celestia wasn’t in her normal place on the grand staircase. Was she actually running late? Flash never though he’d see the day. However, before he could ponder it further, he was distracted again as he and Twilight were announced by a well-dressed pony by the front door. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her escort, Sir Flash Sentry, Captain of the Twilight Guard.” Flash blinked as he realized that he had actually gotten a title, rather than just being called Princess Twilight’s ‘plus one’. Though he had a pretty good idea who arranged it. “Twilight?” Flash asked with a smirk as they waited for Twilight’s friends to be announced. “Yes?” Twilight replied in a cheeky manner. “Did you write Celestia to get me a title for the entrance?” “Maaaaaaayyyyyybe,” she said, giggling. “I couldn’t just let them ignore you, now, could I? Plus, I thought with a title you might get some of the respect you deserve, being the captain of my guard and all.” “True, so thank you,” he said with a bow. “Plus, maybe it will dissuade a few of the nobles from bugging me, which means I‘ll have more time to spend with my angelic date.” He smiled, which made Twilight giggle. That just made him smile more as his heart fluttered. “If you keep complimenting me, you’re eventually gonna run out of things to say.” Hmmm, she had a point. Unless… “Not if I start quoting plays,” he said, grinning devilishly. “You better not…” Twilight warned, but her smile made it impossible for him to take her seriously. “‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’” Flash drawled in a horrible, horrible impression of…it was so bad, he didn’t even know what accent he was trying to impersonate. It appeared as though Twilight couldn’t figure it out either based on the face she was making. She cuffed him in the back of the head with her wing, but she couldn’t keep from smiling. So, success? Better try again, just to be sure. “You’re right, that was an impression of the nobles. My bad. Let me try again.” He cleared his throat dramatically. “‘Doth Mother know… you wearth her drapes?’” Twilight lightly smacked him again. Yep, definitely a success. “Having trouble with your stallion, darling?” Rarity said, giggling at their antics as she approached. He had actually forgotten about them for a minute there and hadn’t noticed them gathering around him and Twilight. “I’m the one having trouble,” Flash joked, rubbing the back of his head. Well, not really, but he was still the one being hit. Although her wing was really soft… “Well, then, behave, and maybe I’ll give you a reward if you’re good for the rest of the night,” Twilight said, turning away with a grin. OH HO! So she DOES have a playful side, rather than just a shy side. This momentous discovery made his wings twitch in excitement and his heart beat even faster inside his chest. But he would not be outdone. “Flirting, check,” Flash said, pulling out an invisible checklist and invisible quill in an imitation of Twilight. The alicorn shot him a deadpan stare, but the other girls laughed. He couldn’t help but wink at Twilight. “So what do we do now that we’re actually here?” “I’m gonna go find the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow said, taking to the air. “I’ll catch up with you gals later.” And with that, she was gone. At least she was consistent in her love of all things Wonderbolt. “Ah better make sure she doesn't break somethin' this year,” Applejack said, trotting after the rainbow-maned pegasus into the main ballroom. “Ah’ll be around.” And off she went too. “I’m…gonna try the garden again,” Fluttershy said, glancing towards one of the side hallways. “I just hope the animals will be more understanding this year.” Ah yes, Flash had heard about that little…incident. Though a stampede of animals would certainly be interesting. And maybe a little fun if they ran over Duke Bull Horn in the process. “I think I’ll join you,” Rarity said. “I hear Princess Luna has recently planted a spectacular variety of nighttime plants, and I simply must see them to get inspiration for my next spring line!” ‘See the sights, get inspired.’ That should be the castle’s new logo, Flash thought as he watched Rarity’s eyes start to sparkle with images of dresses. That or ‘Warning: gets overrun by magical entities once every six months. Magical panic rooms are here, here, and here.’ The second one was probably more accurate. Flash wasn’t sure what to make of that. “I’ll come too!” Spike said. “I still need to show you two Princess Celestia’s golden apple tree.” Nodding in agreement, the three of them made their way towards the garden. So all that left was Pinkie. “I’ll go disappear until the plot demands me,” Pinkie said, bouncing off into the ballroom. Uhhhhhh… “Uhhhh…” Flash muttered, staring after her. “Don’t think about it too much,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “It’s Pinkie.” “Still not enough of a justification in my book, but to prevent myself from getting a migraine, I’ll take your advice,” Flash said. To be fair, Pinkie HAD already pulled a party cannon out of her mane and produced legal documents saying she was allowed to carry it. His limit of ‘Pinkie shenanigans’ was probably reached for the night. The two of them followed Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash into the ballroom. It was still somewhat early in the evening, but the chamber was already full of ponies in fancy evening wear, mingling and admiring the decorations, which were quite spectacular. Banners hung from the walls, streamers wound around all the marble columns, and there were dozens of flowerpots filled with plants in every color. Flash was pretty sure that the silvery-blue blooms releasing gentle puffs of white mist were Princess Luna’s specialty. As they began walking around, he could see that the center of the ballroom had been cleared for dancing and a stage for the band set up right next to it, but there were a number of small tables off to one side. And, along the far wall, was a BUFFET! Flash’s mouth watered. Free food was the best food, and it didn’t seem to be that weird ‘fancy’ food he found in Canterlot’s restaurants. He pointed it out to Twilight, who had a similar reaction, and the two ponies unanimously decided to head straight there. As he began to move towards the buffet, Flash was surprised to see that Princess Celestia wasn't in fact not there yet. However, he could just make out Princess Luna near the stage talking to…was that Fancy Pants? He wasn't quite sure from this distance and while moving, but Luna’s dress hit his eye almost like a punch. She wore a gown that looked like it was taken from the view of a telescope, and Flash swore that he saw some of the constellations actually moving. He glanced at Twilight’s dress and grinned. She still looked better. Bias, yay. Also, focus…less staring at your date, more making sure you don’t walk into a random table like an idiot. The nobles have the stupidity covered for the night. However, his train of thought was interrupted as he saw someone he would have never believed would attend such an event. Or, at least, not attended it without the pure purpose of messing everything up. “Is that…Discord?” Flash asked, stopping and pointing so Twilight could look. Sure enough, the draconequus was standing nearby, dressed very similarly to Spike and having a surprisingly normal conversation with a light tan pegasus with a two-tone brown mane. Despite the fact that Flash had never seen the pegasus, she seemed to be on friendly terms with the master of chaos as she waved goodbye. Judging by the look on Twilight’s face, she probably had never seen her either. “It is,” Twilight groaned. “Maybe he won’t notice us.” “Who won’t notice you?” a loud voice drawled in their ears. JEEZ! Discord was now right behind them. Even with his years of guard training, Flash couldn't help but jump. He HATED when creatures did that. It was bad enough when Twilight just decided to randomly teleport into a room, but at least her spell made a ‘POP’ when it went off. “Ugh, please Discord, not tonight, anything but tonight,” Twilight half groaned, half begged. “Oh, you needn’t worry about me,” Discord said in a surprisingly serious voice. “I was informed by Celestia about your little date, and, suffice to say, I would rather not have Rarity tear me to pieces for interfering with your evening. Or Fluttershy.” He shivered. “Cotton candy have mercy on me if those two came for me.” Wow. Discord is actually AFRAID of Fluttershy and Rarity’s tempers? Flash could hardly believe it. I’ll have to keep that in mind for the next time he annoys me. But which one is scarier? Both could be terrifying if made angry. But, wait… “So, you’re NOT going to make this night chaotic for us?” Flash asked in suspicion. “Not that I’m complaining, but you ARE the lord of chaos, right?” “Right,” Discord said, smirking. “But every time I’ve seen little Princess Sparkle here, I’ve been chaotic and crazy. So, you see, that means it’s PREDICTABLE now for me to be chaotic. So what better way for me to change it up than to be…well, normal?” “That seems almost TOO logical.” Discord shrugged. “Maybe, but what do I know about logic? Now, the reason I’m really here is because I am looking for Fluttershy. Or Pinkie Pie. Either one will do, really, so long as I have somepony to talk to. Have you seen them?” “Fluttershy is in the garden,” Twilight began. “And Pinkie…” “Said she had to go until the plot demanded her,” Flash finished, causing Discord’s ears to perk up. “Oh, she did, did she?” he said, pausing briefly to look above and behind their heads and wink. Flash thought he might be winking to Celestia and Luna, given his height, but upon turning around he found nothing but a wall. “Who are you winking at?” Flash asked, looking back at Discord in confusion. “The reader.” “The what?" “Oh, never you mind. Well then, I best go find our little pink ball of sugar and sweets. Toodles.” He snapped his fingers and vanished in a puff of smoke. The smoke then pulled out a top hat and proceeded to fly out the door they just entered, much to the bafflement of the nobles currently trying to enter the ballroom. Ok, Flash was officially over his limit for crazy unexplainable nonsense now. He looked back at the wall again, just to make sure it wasn't broken from illogic or anything, but eventually just shrugged. It was Discord. Better off not trying to figure him out. “Well, that could have been worse,” Flash said as Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s just go get some food and hope he doesn't come back,” Twilight said, making a beeline for the buffet. Flash followed closely behind. “No mingling before eating?” Flash asked. Twilight shook her head. “The only ponies I see that I want to talk to right now are Luna and Fancy Pants, and they’re still busy. Well, them and you, but you get the point.” “Nopony else?” That was a surprise. Surely there must be someone else here that she wanted to talk to. Or at least plenty of ponies that wanted to talk to someone as amazing as her… Ok, seriously, FOCUS! “They're not here yet.” Ah, there we go. “It’s still early. And I actually had to skip lunch today to get ready, so I’m STARVING!” “You skipped lunch?” Flash asked, surprised. “I mean, you look wonderful,” Understatement of the millennium right there, “but it really took that long?” “Yes. It was the mane, mostly. I usually ask Rarity to do it. In all my studies, I never really learned a spell for how to make myself more presentable. It was just…never really high on my priorities.” As she spoke, she grabbed a plate and began to load it with food. The buffet was massive, and all of it looked delicious, and Twilight apparently thought so too as she grabbed ten Hay Burgers before moving on. Considering how often they went out for some, that was not at all surprising. They must have gone their at least three times a week for the past six months. And the— No, no daydreaming. Focus. “No need to bother learning a spell to make yourself more beautiful if you look amazing normally,” Flash said, smiling as Twilight blushed and looked away. Ah, there was the blushing he was familiar with. “I’m not that special,” she mumbled as they reached the desserts “I mean, there are some days I wake up with a scroll stuck to my face because I fell asleep studying. It’s just like how ponies think I’m perfect just because I became a princess when…I’m really not. I still make mistakes, I still need help sometime, and I’m certainly not as special as somepony like Celestia. I’m just…a regular pony.” A regular pony, huh? Allow me present you with a counter argument. “Yeah, you only fought an Ursa Minor, Nightmare Moon, Tirek, the changelings, Discord, King Sombra, and you also happen to be the most skilled magic user in multiple generations that was able to solve an unsolvable spell and become a princess,” Flash said jokingly, before gently brushing up against her and speaking in a much more caring tone. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, in your accomplishments or your looks.” Twilight was now the color of a tomato, but Flash could see a faint smile working its way onto her lips. Progress. With food in hoof, the two set off for the nearest table to enjoy their meals, though as they sat down Flash noticed with concern that Twilight had far more food than he did. He thought the Hay Burgers would make up most of her meal, but instead she had apparently kept grabbing more and more food while he was distracted with listing her accomplishments. She now had almost three times as much as he did. “Twilight, are you ok? I know you skipped lunch and I don’t want to pry, but I’ve never seen you eat this much before, even when we had to skip lunch that one day to reorganize the library.” Hoo boy, what a long day that had been. It took forever for his eyebrows to grow back. “I’m fine,” Twilight said, eating a Hay Burger in just two bites. “My magic now needs to keep up with unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony abilities all at once. Combine that with the fact that I am still growing and I need to eat about double what a normal pony does. At least for now.” “For now?” Would she need to eat MORE later? Did she have some form of alicorn puberty to go through?… On second thought, he didn’t want to know. Twilight nodded. She ate another burger, wiped the ketchup off her mouth with her fries, and ate those too. “Celestia and Luna need to eat about one and a half times as much food as a normal pony, so once I get as big as them, I should be able to reduce my calorie intake without feeling like I’m always starving.” “Even if that’s the case, how come I haven’t seen you eat this much previously?” “Well, I usually snack throughout the day so my main meals are…a decent size.” “But I never see you snack. Do you just eat when I’m not looking?” Wait, that didn’t make sense. How would she time that? “I just teleport the food to my mouth. Or my stomach if I’m in the middle of meetings or something.” “Is that safe?” “Umm…it should be?” Well, THAT’S not a good answer. “Twilight,” Flash said, frowning at her. It might be time for a lecture. Another thing Twilight loved… No, very bad brain. Go sit in the corner until AFTER the lecture… “Really, it’s ok. I don't do it often, and it’s only mild discomfort if I—” “Twilight,” Flash said firmly, causing her to stop and look at him. “I won’t mind, and I highly doubt anypony else will, if you need to eat more at dinner or lunch or during meetings because you have a fast metabolism. Doing something dangerous like teleporting food directly to your stomach is unnecessary. The only ponies that may possibly care are the nobles, and if they complain, you can just say ‘I’m a princess, I eat what I want,’ and they can’t do anything about it.” Insert Z-snaps here. He smiled gently. “Please don't do that anymore, ok? Or I might just need to tell Celestia.” Twilight nodded. “I…I won’t. Sorry to make you worry.” Well, lecture over. Back to harmless teasing in hopes of seeing her laugh or blush…or both. “No problem,” Flash said, now grinning. “Though I was serious about the Celestia threat.” Twilight pouted. “I’m not a little filly, Flash. I can take care of myself.” “Pretty sure we’re all foals compared to Celestia. I mean, she IS over a thousand years old. And just because you’re an adult doesn't mean you’re perfect or know everything. For example, did you know Celestia once got herself food poisoning?” “Wait, really!?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open. Oh, this was gonna be fun. “Really. Apparently, a diplomat sent her an expensive pineapple cake in the mail, but it got lost for a good month. But when it finally arrived, she refused to throw it out and instead ate the entire thing in one sitting. She was sick for a week. In fact, that was actually the week you girls had to go and talk to that dragon that was covering Equestria in smoke,” Flash chuckled as he remembered his second week on the job. Trying to keep a puking Celestia in bed while telling her not to worry about the smoke visible from her window was not something he ever thought he’d be doing in a million years. Too bad she didn’t put that in her letter to Twilight. ‘Dear Twilight, I ate rotten cake, and now have food poisoning. Please go get rid of this dragon covering our land in smoke while I am busy throwing up. Signed, Princess Cakelestia.’ “You mean to tell me that my friends and I were sent to go talk to the dragon not because of our skills, but because Celestia had FOOD POISONING and couldn’t do it herself!?” Twilight asked, trying not to let her jaw hit the floor in shock. Her expression was priceless. “Crazy right?” “Oh, I am SO gonna have words with her about this,” Twilight grumbled as she moved to the desserts on her plate. “Princess Celestia or not, that is just ridiculous.” “Her greatest weakness, CAKE!” Flash said dramatically. Twilight struggled to swallow her mouthful of ice cream before she burst out laughing. Her laugh was infectious, just like always, and soon he couldn’t help but join in. They were attracting a few sidelong glances and grumbles from nearby nobles, but Flash didn’t really care, and Twilight was too distracted to notice. By now, Flash saw that the ballroom was beginning to fill up, and a lot more nobles had joined the party. The dull muttering in the room had also risen to a moderate level of constant background noise. Not too bad just yet, though, so that was nice. When they finished eating, the two ponies got up and deposited their plates in the nearby container. It seemed that Princess Luna had finished talking to Fancy Pants, so Twilight immediately began leading them over. But then the universe appeared in an evil villain costume and produced a random antagonist! Flash was gonna PUNCH the universe one of these days. He didn’t know how, but hey, maybe Discord could help him. “Princess Twilight!” a deep and irritating voice called out. “I demand to speak with you this instant!” Turning, Flash just managed to swallow his groan as they came face to face with Money Bags, Bull Horn’s son. He was a unicorn with a golden coat and a slightly darker golden mane. His cutie mark was a bag of bits, (or at least that’s what Flash remembered it being from all his audiences in court) and he was clearly annoyed (not that this was anything new). Or, at least, Flash THOUGHT he looked annoyed. It was hard to tell since most nobles looked like they were annoyed about eighty-two percent of the time. “There’s no need to shout,” Twilight said calmly. “Anypony is allowed to speak with me if they simply ask. Now, what can I help you with?” “You can ‘help me’ by explaining why this…this PEGASUS is escorting you to the Gala!” Money Bags spat. Oh great, they were starting where they left off with Bull Horn outside. Someone PLEASE throw him out! Flash thought. They were inside now. It would be easy. Just find a unicorn, a window, and POOF, problem solved. “The two of us have gotten to know each other so well that when he asked me to the Gala as a date, I accepted. Simple.” “Simple!? You chose an uncultured commoner over a worthy noble suitor! He should not even be allowed to look at you, let alone escort you to the most important social event of the year!” Flash growled. He had MUCH more culture than this uppity nincompoop. At least HE knew how NOT to make a scene… No, laughing at the table DID NOT count as a scene. By now Money Bags' shouting was attracting attention, and Flash frowned at some of the nobles’ smirks. Clearly, they LIKED seeing somepony try and chew out the newest princess that had been unyielding to their demands. Celestia-damned idiots. Go find something better to do than watch me and my date. Seriously, this isn’t a freaking Hoofball game! “That is MY decision, not yours or anypony else’s,” Twilight said, now glaring at Money Bags. “And I certainly won't be taking a stallion who throws a fit just because I chose somepony better than him.” Flash would take that as a compliment and testament to his skills in dating. Even if said skills were practically nonexistent. Money Bags stuttered for a few seconds as his face contorted in rage even more. Oh dear. Flash was not liking this. While Twilight still appeared calm, she had pressed up to him during the conversation and he could feel her shaking. Out of anger or stress, Flash didn't know, but he HATED the idea of just standing by while she suffered. It made him feel both helpless and enraged. He saw that Luna was frowning and making her way towards them, and while ponies were bowing and moving out of her way, Flash didn't think she would make it over to them before things got even more out of hoof. He DID know he needed to do something to end this nonsense. Huh, nonsense… That might just work. Money Bags puffed up his chest. “How dare you claim that this—” “Ombole bombole bo,” Flash interrupted. Both Money Bags and Twilight blinked in confusion as they turned to Flash, who smirked. Even the nobles watching didn't know what to make of what he just did, and Princess Luna had stopped dead and was looking at him questioningly. Perfect. Flash winked at Twilight, silently signaling to her that the fun was about to begin. Money Bags composed himself and growled, “Be silent, you—” “Bolemb omble bo” “What are you—” “Bobole bom.” “Be quiet and let me—” “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—” “Bobele bo.” “Shut—” “Ombole.” “UP!” “Bolo.” Money Bags paused after that, staring at Flash with his eyebrows raised as though waiting to see if he would keep going. Flash smiled dumbly and pressed his lips together. That seemed to be good enough for the unicorn. “Now—” “Ombole bobble obla bomba boop,” Flash said in a rushed voice, ending with a quick boop on Money Bags’ nose. Oh Luna, his expression was even better than Twilight’s, and that was saying something. This was FAR too much fun. Money Bags’ left eye was twitching. Many of the surrounding nobles looked shocked that Flash had out-witted (or maybe out-annoyed) him by just spouting nonsense. Twilight was biting her lip, struggling desperately to not laugh. Even Princess Luna was covering her mouth to try and stifle her own giggle. Suffice to say, Flash thought he had won this round. Thankfully, before Money Bags could gather up his wits to try and speak again, a new, motherly voice called out. “There you are, Twilight.” Oh, thank Celestia. Seriously, she was right behind them now. All three ponies turned to see Princess Celestia made her way towards the group. All the guests bowed as she passed, and Flash bowed as she drew closer, party out of duty, and partly out of reverence. She WAS still a princess, after all. She was dressed in a gown that made her look like a phoenix, reds, oranges, and yellows wrapping around her in a stunning display that sparkled like her mane. “There’s no need for you to bow, Flash Sentry,” Celestia said as she arrived, giving Twilight a quick embrace and smiling down at him. “Princess Twilight decided that you would accompany her, so please rise and speak with me.” Well, that was pretty surreal. Maybe she was more like Twilight than he thought. “Of course, Princess,” Flash said, rising. “It’s a pleasure to meet with you, at least in a less formal setting than normal.” “This is less formal?” Celestia asked in a curious voice. “I thought it was supposed to be very formal. It is the Gala after all.” “Fair point.” But at least he wasn’t standing there trying to impersonate a statue like he usually was when he was with one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. “Princess,” Money Bags began, bowing as well, “clearly you must see the problem here.” Better question, why are YOU still here? Seriously, you can’t be THAT stupid. “I see no problem whatsoever,” Celestia said. “Twilight has brought a date to the Gala, and I must say I am so proud of you for doing so.” She smiled at the young alicorn. “You finally reached the next part of your lessons and began looking for love. I’m certain Cadance will be bouncing off the walls.” Oh boy. Flash hadn’t considered how her siblings would react to the date. Please let Shining Armor be gentle. “It’s only our first date,” Twilight said, embarrassed. “Even if we do go out again, you might still be jumping ahead a little bit.” Hopefully she was right though… Focus…Plan future dates later. “Maybe, but a mare can dream, can’t she?” Celestia asked teasingly. Apparently Celestia like to make Twilight blush too. Money Bags’ eye was twitching again. Go home, dude, you not— “But he’s just a COMMONER! He’s not even of minor noble blood!” Yep, he is that stupid. Flash facehoofed. Good job proving the ‘commoner’ wrong, bud. Give yourself a cookie. “And what difference would that make?” Celestia asked, her voice growing a bit hard as she turned to face Money Bags, placing Flash and Twilight behind the folds of her wings. “Princess Twilight has judged him to be worthy of her time, and he certainly appears to be more of a gentle-colt then you.” Exactly. Thank you, Celestia. Flash was happy to hear the princess defending him, but he still wanted to mess with Money Bags. Since he was out of Celestia’s sight, he leaned into the unicorn’s view, stuck his tongue out, and pointed his eyes in different directions. Twilight nearly lost her composure again over his ridiculousness and Money Bags looked like he couldn’t decide what was worse: Flash’s taunting, or the fact that he was being taunted right under the nose of Princess Celestia without her noticing. And here Flash thought his face couldn’t be any more priceless. “He also appears to be better mannered than you, as you come here to harass Princess Twilight like a foal being told he can’t have a toy, rather then a mature adult.” Flash puffed out his cheeks and spun his eyes in opposite directions. Twilight snorted, her legs getting shaky from concealed mirth. Maybe Princess Celestia was wrong on that last point, a little bit, but eh, she was right overall. At least he wasn't throwing a temper tantrum. “And furthermore, nobility has no standing on who she is allowed to be with, and trying to shame and harass her into being with someone of ‘equal standing’ is highly unacceptable. In fact, seeing as you are one of the nobles who STILL refuses to cast aside your class prejudice despite me and my sister constantly saying it is despicable, I don’t think I will be inviting you back to the Gala next year, as you clearly can’t be trusted to act with dignity.” OH MY! Money Bags gasped in shock, while Flash pretended to dramatically faint, causing Twilight to begin to tear up. Seriously, who ever convinced him that the Gala was boring? This was awesome! “But-but—” “No buts. This is my party, so I may invite — and disinvite — whomever I choose. Now then,” Celestia said, turning back to Flash and Twilight just as Flash straightened himself up. She didn't react to the fact that Twilight’s face was now red from suppressed laughter, but Flash thought he saw her eyes twinkle. “If you will follow me, Twilight, I would love to speak with you and your date in private.” Twilight managed to nod, following after the princess as she turned to leave. Flash assisted her, but unable to help himself, turned back one last time and waved to Money Bags, mouthing the words ‘bye bye.’ Somehow, Money Bags’ face got even redder as he tried to melt Flash with his glare. He was cut off when the three ponies waking away entered into a small side room reserved for the princesses. With a flash of her horn, Celestia coated the room in a soft golden glow. Ummm… Before Flash could ask what she was doing, Princess Celestia spoke. “Go ahead, Twilight.” “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Twilight cried, falling to the side as her legs gave out. She was only spared from hitting the floor by Celestia teleporting over a large pillow for her to collapse onto. “I…That…You…BAHAHAHAHAHA!” Yay, he made her laugh. This night just keeps getting better. “Silence spell,” Celestia said, gesturing to the shimmering walls. “Rather handy, in my opinion, especially when dealing with nobles. Was taunting Money Bags while I wasn’t looking really necessary?” Celestia raised her eyebrow at Flash, making him grin sheepishly. Guess he wasn’t as sneaky as he thought. That or she really DID have eyes in the back of her head, just like his own mother. “S-Sorry, Princess. After everything he and his father have put Twilight through, I…I just couldn’t resist.” That, and hearing Twilight laugh so much made it SO worth any scolding he would get. Flash was surprised when Celestia giggled. “It’s all right, Flash. I think your frustrations are justified, and judging by Twilight’s reaction, I don't think she minded. Also, call me Celestia. I’d like to think we’re on more even standing since you’re dating Twilight.” Oh dear Luna, she WAS like his mom! “It’ll be up to her if we date more than just this once,” he said quickly, feeling his face heat up. It’s just warm in here, that’s it. Yeah. Right. “Though I will admit, I wouldn't mind having more less formal dates in the future.” ESPECIALLY if it meant less nobles. Sure, they were entertaining to tease, but he would much rather have a date without them constantly bugging him and Twilight. “We’ll just have to wait and see then, but my point still stands.” “Very well then, Celestia,” Flash said with a grin as Twilight finally began to calm down enough to breathe normally. “You doing ok, Twilight?” “I, hehehe, could kiss you right now, hehehe, if I could stand up,” she said, still giggling. !!! Flash thought he felt lightheaded for the few seconds after she said that. But he recovered very quickly as he realized the chance he had just been given. Well, since she offered… Flash leaned down to give her a slight peck on the cheek as he helped her back to her hooves. “We’ll just have to take a rain check on that then,” he said as Twilight stopped laughing and blushed like mad as she looked away from him. An appropriate reaction… “Wasn’t that a bit forward, Sir Flash Sentry?” came Luna’s voice. She was standing in the doorway to the chamber. Uh oh… QUICK! WHAT’S A GOOD EXCUSE?! UMMMMM! OH, I GOT IT! “Not at all. Nobles do that all the time, and I hear kissing somepony’s cheek is part of the greeting in Prance. Kissing her on the lips, now THAT is forward. But I am a gentle-colt, and so I think I struck the right balance between forward and what is expected for this date.” Please buy it, please buy it… “You make a fair argument, and thus I dare say I approve of you and Twilight being together.” Luna said. “Just be sure you don't do anything you regret, or else—” “Luna,” Celestia playfully chided. “Don’t threaten the poor stallion. I’m sure he’s gotten enough of that from Twilight’s friends.” Rule three: Don’t upset the princesses, especially Twilight. Probably a ‘NO DUH, MORON’ rule, but still best to write it down. “I really have,” Flash said. “Especially Rarity.” “She wasn't that bad,” Twilight said, regaining a bit of her composure, though still not looking at Flash. “She threatened to tie me up and throw me to the Diamond Dogs until I learned my lesson!” Come to think of it, why was that the first punishment she thought of anyway? Luna laughed. “Be thankful she said Dimond Dogs and not dragons.” “I think she expected Spike to handle the dragon part,” Flash deadpanned, prompting the Solar Sisters to giggle and Twilight to nudge him with her elbow. “What? He is like a little brother to you, and aren't brothers supposed to protect their sisters?” Wasn't that literally what Shining Armor’s cutie mark was? Protection? “In that case, you may want to worry more about Shining Armor,” Luna said with a teasing grin. “Or have you not told him yet?” Okaaaaaay, so Celestia had eyes in the back of her head, and Luna could read his mind. Flash was really going to have to call his mother after this. “I…didn’t tell him yet,” Twilight admitted, looking sheepish. “I didn't want him and Cadance coming to either threaten him or to try and ‘assist’ me with the date.” “Downside of being related to the Princess of Love?” Flash asked, chuckling. “Yes, definite downside.” “Look at it this way; if this works out, you don't need to worry about her setting you up on blind dates.” “She wouldn’t—” “Princess. Of. Love.” Twilight bit her lip. “Ok, good point. But that is still an ‘if.’” “Not convinced?” Flash asked, pouting exaggeratedly. His poor pride… Actually, no, forget his pride. That DID hurt a bit considering how he was feeling about her. But he had time. The Gala had just begun, so he could still prove himself to her before the night was out. “I like to have all the data collected before coming to any conclusions.” “Just like any good scientist should.” “As much as I love hearing you two banter,” Celestia joked, a sly smile crossing her face, “we really must get back to the party. Although, if you’re looking for data, Twilight, might I suggest seeing how good of a dancer Flash is?” Twilight’s ears perked up and she gave a nervous laugh, one that Flash couldn’t quite understand. “Oh no no no no, I think we can skip that part of the data. I mean, there’s plenty of other points we can explore and—” OHHHH! She’s afraid of dancing in front of all the NOBLES! Well, he could fix that. “Hey Twilight, will you share the next dance with me?” he asked. Twilight spun to face him, which was a mistake as it put their muzzles only a few inches apart. “But-but-but…” “Come on, Twilight, how bad could it be?” Flash said, somehow managing not to stutter like Twilight. Dang she was pretty... Focus... “But-but I CAN’T DANCE.” “Really?” “Her dancing is…interesting to say the least,” Luna said, smirking slightly. “I don’t think you’re helping, sister,” Celestia said, elbowing her sister playfully. And you are, Miss Teasing Motherly Figure? Flash shook his head. “Well, good thing I can’t dance either,” Flash said, taking Twilight’s hoof and leading her towards the door. “Huh!? But then why—” “Are we going to dance?” Flash finished. “Because you’re a princess, so nopony can complain if you can’t dance. Plus, even if we mess up, the only thing the audience will see is dancing.” Plus, if your dancing is really that bad, then you can just say your starting a new trend. Heh, that was a good one. He would have to save that joke for when she wasn’t so tense. “But—” “Twilight,” Flash said gently, turning to face her as they reached the door. “Trust me. Please?” Twilight looked like she was having a monumental internal struggle, but she eventually gave a slight nod. Flash gave her a reassuring smile before pushing open the door to the ballroom. There were significantly more ponies out there, and the band was well into a groove by now. Twilight hesitated when she saw the crowd, but a gentle brush of Flash’s wing prompted her to continue. He was right there, and would be with her the whole time. No nobles were going to stop him, and no distracting thoughts were going to mess this up. They moved through the crowd with ease and within a minute, they were on the dance floor. Once they were near the center, he turned to look at his date, who looked like she was about to have a panic attack at any moment. “Twilight,” he said, causing her eyes to shoot to his. “Don’t look at, or even think about, anypony else. Just focus on me, on us, and we’ll be fine. Ok?” Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the next song to begin. It had a moderate tempo and a light, bouncing melody that made Flash of wind. Twilight closed her eyes and bopped her head to the music, learning the rhythm. A quietly amused smile spread across her face, accompanied by a long-suffering shake of the head that Flash knew she did whenever she saw Rainbow Dash showing off. Perhaps the breezy music reminded her of her friend? Regardless of what it was, it seemed like it was calming her down a bit. Good. Flash gently took the lead for the dance and they moved to stand on their hind hooves. He started slow, helping Twilight establish her balance before starting with simple moves, swaying and stepping in time. All the while, he never let his eyes leave Twilight’s. Especially because they still looked so beautiful. Slowly but surely, they improved and began to speed up to match the melody of the music. Flash could feel Twilight’s vice-like grip relax, and with it, her breathing and posture followed suit. Feeling braver, Flash sent Twilight out for a small twirl, bringing her back to his chest. He could see her dress spin and sparkle in a vibrant display as it swished around her legs, but his focus was still mainly on her eyes. The deep purple orbs stared back into his blue ones. There was still fear and anxiety in them, but it was being drowned out by a sense of excitement and…some other emotions. Flash really couldn't tell the specifics, but he did know that she was starting to have fun. Suddenly, Twilight slipped and began to fall backwards. Flash reacted without thinking as he spread his wings, using one to catch her and the other to stabilize them. Twilight blushed, but smiled, which Flash returned as he pulled her back up. To his surprise, her own wings spread out, and the message was clear. It was time to mix it up. Increasing their tempo, Flash and Twilight began to use their wings as a part of their dance, moving them in time to the rhythm. Sometime they would brush up against their partner’s as if they were another set of hooves. Other times they would move independently of their partner's. Flash even used his once or twice to send Twilight out for longer spins. The fear was gone now. The only thing he could see in her eyes was joy and warmth, and boy did it make his own heart flutter far more than it had all night. Flash had no idea how long that song was. To him, it felt like hours. But it eventually came to an end as Flash pulled Twilight in from the final spin, prompting both of them to drop back to four hooves and bow to each other in a finishing display. When Flash looked up, he was met with the smiling face of his date. But it wasn't a normal smile, it was the smile of somepony who, if even for a brief moment, had absolutely no troubles in the world. She looked even more beautiful this way. Both of them were startled out of their gazing, however, when cheers erupted around them. Finally breaking eye contact and looking around, Flash realized that the nearby dancers had broken off to give them some room, and they’d acquired a rather large audience. They had been so busy dancing he hadn’t even noticed, and it looked like Twilight was in the same boat. Thankfully, almost everypony who had watched them was clapping, and Celestia and Luna were giving them approving smiles. And all of her friends, save Pinkie Pie (guess the plot hadn’t demanded her yet, whatever that meant), were just outside their dance circle, leading the cheer. There may have been some nobles on the outer edges that looked grumpy, but Flash didn’t let that bother him. They always looked like that. Plus, they were probably just jealous. Alas, poor Twilight was now very nervous again, blushing and staring at the floor as the crowd cheered. Flash closed the distance once again and nudged her gently with his body. Twilight looked up, smiled weakly and took his outstretched hoof. With their little performance over, they made room for the other dancers returning to the floor as they moved towards the punch bowl. “And here I thought you couldn’t dance,” Flash said, smiling. Romance over, back to playful teasing. “I usually don’t have such a good partner,” Twilight said, returning the grin. “Where did you learn how to do that? I thought YOU said you couldn’t dance.” “Never tried it before,” Flash admitted. “I was just imitating other ponies. Well, except for the wing thing, but that was still relatively simple. Being a guard means you help guard a lot of events, just watching everything unfold. Some involve dancing, others don’t.” “So you’re able to dance just by watching other ponies?” “It’s not like there’s a lot of things to DO when you’re standing guard. I can probably tell you how many jewels are in the throne room door and how many panes there are in each window in the Hall of History just because I’ve spent so much time there while being bored out of my mind.” “I certainly hope guarding ME isn't boring.” “How could it be? You’re far more interesting than an empty hallway.” Especially considering how many fun and interesting adventures you get into on a weekly basis. Well, except for the monster attacks and disasters. Those were just annoying. “I would certainly hope so,” she said, elbowing him lightly. Flash stuck his tongue out, and was rewarded with a small laugh that made him smile. The two lapsed into a comfortable silence as they got their punch and sat down at another unoccupied table. As they listened to the next song the band played, Flash couldn’t help but glance at Twilight. While she still looked as beautiful as she did when the night began, there was something else that was different about her now. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her mind, and she was letting more of herself shine through a mask she wore. Okay, he was totally biased. But he really didn't care. He loved her, and seeing her like this just made him feel…well, he actually couldn’t put it into words. Turning back to the dance floor, Flash watched Twilight’s friends to try and distract himself. Rarity had apparently decided to humor poor Spike and share a dance with him, though, it was more like she was hugging him and moving in time to the music, given how much taller she was than him, but Spike looked utterly blissful all the same. Rainbow had actually been pulled into a dance with the Wonderbolt Soarin and looked even more excited than Twilight did when new books came in from the royal library. Though he had to admit he never actually thought he’d see Rainbow BLUSH. Well, first time for everything. Fluttershy was lingering at the edge of the crowd, looking too nervous to join in and dance, but as Flash watched, Applejack found her and pulled her out onto the floor. They stayed near the edge, where there weren’t as many ponies, so Flash had a clear view of Fluttershy smiling and giggling as the orange mare led her in some simple yet rather outrageous-looking steps. All in all, the girls looked like they were having just as much fun as he was. As the song ended, he turned to look at his date, who was watching her friends and grinning. “Hey, Twilight?” “Yes, Flash?” she said, looking him in the eye. Flash nearly lost his train of thought as those wondrous amethyst orbs met his own. The way they sparked in the light, the way they no longer held any hesitation, it made his stomach do flips that would impress Pinkie Pie. “W-W-Would you…like to go for a walk in the garden?” he stuttered, trying not to blush himself. “Sure. That…That sounds lovely,” she said, a faint pink rising in her cheeks. Why must she be so cute? They made their way across the ballroom, doing their best to avoid the nobles before leaving through the side door that let to the gardens. Both ponies took a deep breath as the door closed behind them. The night was clear, the air was fresh, and the loud chatter and music of the ballroom was now just a dull murmur. Quite the shift, but still rather welcoming. The moon shone brightly on the garden, illuminating the path and the variety of plants growing around them. There were far more then Flash remembered from his last visit, but that was probably because of Princess Luna. Rarity had said she had planted some new flowers, but he didn't realize just how many there would be. He wondered if that glowing purple one would look nice in Twilight’s hair, before realizing that he really needed to start focusing on things other than his stunning— And there his mind went again. Bad mind. Shaking his head to clear it, he began walking down the cobblestone path to catch up to Twilight — she was so mesmerized by the plants that she had taken off to investigate, not noticing that she was short one date. Not the first time she had left him behind since he had met her, but it was nice that it wasn't because she was reading and wandering this time. He caught up, but chose to stay quiet as she randomly spouted facts about the new plants around her, many of which she must have found in books because she was Twilight. Pinkie was right, she was adorkable. Especially at times like this. As they reached the central clearing of the garden about ten minutes later, the noise of the ballroom had faded entirely, leaving them to enjoy the soft sounds of the crickets and other nocturnal creatures that called the garden home. Twilight had stopped talking along the way to listen to some of the songs the garden creatures produced, including that of a cricket that had decided to jump on Flash’s nose. After a couple of minutes, her head settled on Flash as she continued to listen to the garden’s music. Not that he minded. Her mane was reaaaaallllllllly soft… FOCU—oh forget it… However, as the two neared the gazebo in the very center of the gardens, Flash heard something, a sound that most certainly did NOT blend in with the rest of the garden’s noises. It was a high-pitched sound, almost like— “EEP!” Twilight squealed. Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a hoof-sized rock flew over them at a ferocious speed. It crashed into a nearby tree with a sickening crunching of bark that made Flash wince. He turned his head enough to take a look and saw that the rock hadn’t broken through the tree trunk completely, but was embedded in the wood deep enough that he could just see the edge. Well BUCK, that was close, he thought as he scrambled to his hooves, hiding Twilight behind him. At that speed, the rock wouldn’t have killed Twilight, but it would have knocked her out. At best. The universe cackled evilly. Flash would have lamented the universe again, but he had bigger problems now. First of which… Just as he started scanning the plants near where the rock had come from, the enraged face of Duke Bull Horn entered the clearing. Boy, did Flash need to restrain himself so he wouldn’t knock the unicorn out with his own hooves. Seriously, what was WRONG with this family!? “You really ARE an idiot if you think attacking a princess is a good idea,” Flash said, his face hard. Understatement of the century right there. “This wouldn't have even been a problem if you had just stayed out of it, you feather-brained nincompoop!” the duke spat. “Your job is to serve your betters, not to go off rubbing noses with royalty for political gain!” … Seriously? How much more of this did he have to listen to tonight? “Right, because my status is REALLY at the top of my priorities,” Flash said with an eye roll. Maybe he could convince Celestia to lock this guy in a mental facility? Somepony like him needed to be locked in a padded cell for a few years to calm down. He helped Twilight back to her hooves without taking his eyes off the duke. His horn wasn’t glowing, yet, but Flash wasn't going to take any chances. He had no idea what the duke’s skill level was, so it was better to be cautious. “Status is all that matters, not that a moronic commoner could possibly understand.” Oh, DEAR LUNA! But then Twilight spoke up. “You leave him alone,” she snapped, moving next to Flash despite his attempts to keep her behind him. “He’s far smarter and nobler than any of the ‘real’ nobles I’ve had to deal with, especially the ones like you.” “You be quiet, you spoiled brat!” Bull Horn yelled, causing Twilight to flinch and for Flash to growl. If he wasn’t so focused on trying to keep Twilight safe, he would have decked this jackass three times already. “Not only are you unqualified to make even the simplest of decisions, but because of your stubbornness, my son had been permanently banned form the Gala!” “As he should be,” Flash said, lowering himself into a combat stance and ushering Twilight behind him again with his wing. “You and him give the word ‘noble’ a bad taste in ponies’ mouth.” “I am the blood of royalty!” the duke roared. “My blood and the blood of all nobles gives us a standing you can’t possibly understand! WE are the backbone of Equestria, far more than you or that commoner standing with you!” He thrusted a hoof at Twilight, his face getting more and more twisted by the second. Dang it, weren’t there supposed to be guards in the garden after the time Fluttershy drove the animals into the ballroom? WHERE THE HECK WERE THEY? Flash made himself take a deep breath. Not the time to freak out. Ol’ Bull’s doing that enough for the both of us. Looking at the duke more closely, Flash saw that his eyes were shrunken and bloodshot, his mane was a mess, and he was actually foaming ever so slightly at the mouth. Clearly, he was more deranged than normal, possibly in the middle of having a mental breakdown. He had only been joking about the mental asylum. Was that actually necessary now? Whats worse, it meant he REALLY needed to stay between the Duke and Twilight. If he was unstable, there’s no telling how his magic might reach should Flash try and fight him. Maybe if he mentioned Celestia, he could get through to him? After all, she did have the power to revoke his status, so maybe the threat of losing his ‘noble’ status would shock him out of…whatever the heck this was. It was worth a shot. Hopefully. “Regardless of what you think,” Flash began, trying to keep his voice level, “How do you think Princess Celestia will act when she finds out you attacked a fellow princess?” Flash would have continued, but apparently, he had chosen the wrong thing to say as Bull Horn literally caught ablaze in rage. His fur became white and his mane became literal red fire as his magic ran amok. It was so powerful Flash could practically FEEL the crazy flying off the duke’s horn. “SHE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE A PRINCESS!” the rage-shifted unicorn roared. “MY FAMILY SHOULD HOLD THE TITLE OF ROYALTY, NOT HERS!” Flash immediately backed off, pushing Twilight back from the raging maelstrom of magic in front of him. Not that she protested. “What the heck are you talking about?” Flash asked, now greatly worried for Twilight and himself. Trying to run or fly away might make the duke attack, and he wasn’t sure they could get out of the danger radius quickly enough. Maybe if he kept the duke ranting, the guards would SHOW UP ALREADY! “You really think we didn’t know there was going to be new royalty!?” Bull Horn bellowed. “We knew SIX MONTHS beforehoof that Celestia was going to be adding a new addition to the royal family. WE SAW THE SIGNS! THE PREPARATIONS! And when us nobles confronted her, she ADMITTED that she was looking of someone to promote to the status of PRINCE OR PRINCESS! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!” Ok, one, you’re nuts, Flash thought, shaking his head in disbelief. But keep talking. The duke kept his eyes fixed on Flash, but the more he talked, the more he started to pace. If he would just turn away… “I did EVERYTHING RIGHT! I utilized all of my resources, called in YEARS of political and non-political favors! I demonstrated that I was unwavering, powerful, connected, and CAPABLE OF RULING ALONGSIDE HER AND HER SISTER! I WAS THE ONLY CHOICE THAT MADE SENSE! THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD BE FIT TO RULE! AND WHAT DOES SHE DO!? SHE CHOOSES SOME COMMON UNICORN FROM SOME BACKWATER TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND GIVES HER BUCKING WINGS! “ALL THAT TIME AND EFFORT, AND SHE JUST GLANCES OVER ME! AS IF I DON’T EXIST, AS IF I’M NOT IMPORTANT! SHE SHOULDN’T BE ROYALTY! IT SHOULD BE M—” Now! The moment Bull Horn turned away, Flash closed the distance and sucker-punched the raving lunatic across the face. The rage shift ended, and the now much-less-on-fire duke tumbled across the ground like a rag doll. Who knew I’d actually need to use the Rage Shift Training I learned in guard academy? he thought as he shook out his foreleg, trying not to grin as Bull Horn’s eyes rolled in different directions. Now that he had knocked the duke out of it, the unicorn’s magic would be so scattered for a while that he wouldn’t be able to levitate a fly. Perfect. “You’re delusional,” Flash growled. “Celestia was never looking among the nobles for a candidate. It was only ever going to be Twilight. She just told you that she was looking for a candidate so you wouldn’t bug her about it, and because she knew that your obsession with it would lead to you keeping it a secret. That way, the news would never leave Canterlot, and Twilight would never find out.” Ok, most of that was just guesswork, but he had more important things to say anyway. “And even IF Celestia was looking for a noble to ascend, she would have NEVER picked somepony like YOU. Twilight deserves her wings more than any pony I’ve ever met. Especially the nobles. You think you deserve wings over her? You don't even deserve your title!” Bull Horn recoiled as if he was slapped, stumbling away from the pegasus as he tried to get to his hooves, but Flash didn't stop. “You’re just a bully who throws a tantrum whenever he doesn't get what he wants. You attack and yell because you know deep down that you’re nothing. “Twilight…” He felt her move to his side again, so he draped his wing over her, trying not to grin as she leaned into the touch. Forget not telling her how he felt. This idiot needed to know how amazing she was, and he wasn't going to hold back. “Twilight is everything you wish you could be. That’s why you hate her. She’s smart, talented, funny, kind, and most of all, loved. Loved by her friends, loved by her family, and loved by almost everypony in Equestria. THAT’S why she was chosen. Not power, not ego, but because she knows what it’s like to love others and to be loved. You WISH you had the talent and gifts she did. But you never will, because she’s spectacular, and you’re just a nobody with an old family name.” The duke looked so mad as he stumbled back to his hooves that Flash wasn't sure if he could even move his face anymore. Though that might just be because he was slowly getting a big ugly bruise from where he was punched. Good. And Twilight… Twilight was looking at him in a mix of shock, admiration, bashfulness, and joy. Also good. Growling, the duke’s horn sputtered as he tried to overcome the feedback from his rage shift. Flash ducked in front of Twilight, ready to put the duke in his place again. No matter how good the duke was at magic, he was practically helpless after such a big rage shift. Something Flash was all too happy to capitalize on. But before Duke Bull Horn could speak, the plot demanded Pinkie. “THE PLOT DEMANDS ME!” the pink mare yelled, jumping off the nearby gazebo and throwing a pie, which hit the duke squarely in the face. As he stumbled back in shock, Pinkie pulled her party cannon out of her mane and slammed it down on Bull Horn, shoving him so deep into the barrel that only his rear and back hooves were sticking out. As he flailed about, Pinkie turned to the still shocked Twilight and Flash, gave a sailor salute, and fired. Bull Horn flew backwards halfway across the garden, screaming like a little filly before hitting a floating backboard, falling through a basketball hoop, and landing in a large glowing trash can face-first. A lid then slammed down on it and spun like a top until a satisfying click sounded through the garden. “IT’S GOOD FOR THE WIN!” Discord announced in a sportscaster voice as a small set of bleachers filled with Discords appeared. All of them cheered excitedly. A couple even held up cards with the number ten on them in flashing neon colors. Now completely flabbergasted, neither Twilight or Flash could respond as Discord floated over and hoof-bumped Pinkie while Bull Horn raged in his metal prison. “Don’t you two worry about old Bull here,” Discord said with a smirk, patting the trash can affectionately. “I’ll let Celestia know what he said. And maybe the media. So go and enjoy your night, and maybe fall in love. Everyone knows there’s nothing quite as chaotic as love.” He winked before he, Pinkie, and the trash can all disappeared in a bright flash of light. Flash was pretty sure he heard his brain breaking in the silence that followed. “…I literally have no idea how to respond to that,” he said. “With Bull Horn, and the fact that DISCORD just saved our night…seriously, how do I react?” Ok, he was officially over his limit for ALL kinds of nonsense tonight, so much so that he was half tempted to just bang his head into the nearest hard object to try and forget it all. “I’ll…get back to you on that,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “I think we should just pretend that never happened.” “Agreed. So, that walk?” “I'd love to.” And with that, the couple set off again. With the gazebo now tainted by the interruption by the duke, the two ponies moved on further into the garden until they came to another clearing. There was a small hill, which served as the perfect spot for them to sit down and enjoy the night air. They sat in silence, and while he wanted very much to forget about Bull Horn, the unicorn remained stubbornly at the forefront of Flash’s thoughts. He knew the duke wasn’t exactly smart, but seriously? He TRULY thought some high and mighty jackass like himself would actually gain the title of PRINCE? He wasn't even fit to run a donut shop, let alone try and RULE A BUCKING CONTRY! But what pissed him off the most was how he viewed Twilight. She was so much more than just some ‘common unicorn’ before she ascended. She was Celestia’s personal student, a talented mage in her own right, and, oh yeah, SHE HELPED SAVE EQUESTRIA A GOOD THREE TIMES! MAYBE MORE! She was the obvious pick for a new princess, and if not her, then one of her friends would have certainly still fit the bill better than Bull Horn. Especially Pinkie. She might bury everyone in a nonstop supply of cake, but she would still make sure everypony had a good time, and she would DEFINITELY be better that the duke. Oh, what was he saying? ANYPONY would be better than the duke. Flash took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh, trying to let go of the rage that filled him. He had been mad before, sure, but his anger had never quite felt so…intense. It was like a raging fire, and not even seeing the duke humiliated in front of him could quench the blaze. However, feeling Twilight lean up against him again worked about as well as a pouring rainstorm on the heat. The only thing that mattered was that she was ok, and that the raving lunatic was going to get what was coming to him. He hoped Twilight wouldn’t let Bull Horn’s words get to her. But if they did, he would make sure to comfort her as best he could. “Flash,” Twilight asked. “What you said to the duke…about me…Did you mean it?” Ah, speak of the devil. Flash smiled softly and wrapped her in his wing. “Every word.” “But what about all my mistakes? All my mishaps? I wouldn't even be a princess if it weren't for my friends…” “And I wouldn't be a guard, and almost nopony would be where they are now,” Flash said, squeezing her reassuringly. “Everypony gets help from others. It just so happens that yours helped you farther then you could have ever dreamed. But that doesn’t mean your accomplishments are any less important.” “But…” “No buts,” Flash said, spinning himself and his date so they were facing each other. Wow, she looked even more beautiful in the moonlight… Focus, Flash…Comfort now, admire later. “Everypony is always their own worst critic. Mistakes and mishaps are how we learn, and they don't make you any less special then you already are.” “Says you,” Twilight said, looking down, but that wasn’t all Flash had to convince her. “And your friends. And your parents. And most of Equestria. And Celestia and Luna. You’re not saying the thousand-year-old sun goddess of wisdom is wrong, are you?” “You mean the same sun goddess of wisdom that got food poisoning because of her sweet tooth?” Twilight asked slyly, prompting both of them to burst into laughter. She had him there, but the fact that he got her to laugh was a major victory in itself after what had just happened. Dear Celestia did he love Twilight’s laugh. As they calmed down, Twilight looked up at Flash again. “Thank you Flash. That…means a lot to me. Also, I think we can add at least one more test to the schedule. I mean, if that’s ok with you?” She ducked her head again and blushed. How could he say no to that face? He couldn’t, simple as that. Flash smiled. “How about that pizza place near the Ponyville town hall this Friday?” “It’s a date,” Twilight said, beaming. Before Flash could say anything else, a new noise reached their ears. Though a bit distant, they could clearly hear the sound of a song from in the ballroom. Looking over, Flash realized that somehow one of the windows next to the stage had been opened, letting the music flow smoothly out to the garden. He also swore he saw Pinkie for a second, but he blinked and she was gone. Was she… eh, it doesn’t matter. Shaking his head, Flash stood up and offered his hoof to the lovely princess before him. “Another dance?” she asked playfully, raising an eyebrow as she accepted his hoof. “What can I say? I love getting lost in your eyes.” Flash said. Twilight giggled, but didn't look away. In fact, her smile seemed to grow. Another success. The two stood on their forehooves as the song began in earnest. It was a far slower song than their first dance, but Twilight didn’t seem to mind. Slowly swaying and twirling under the stars, the guard and the princess danced. The world just seemed to melt away for Flash. The only thing he could see was the eyes of his partner and the sparkle of moonlight on her clothing. She truly was perfect. They danced even as the song ended and another began, shifting perfectly to match the faster tempo, then again as another slow song played. But this last song was special. This song sung of stress, of struggle, of triumph, and of love. Flash didn't even realize how close Twilight was until she closed her eyes and planted her lips on his. Both of their wings shot out, Flash’s in surprise, Twilight’s in joy. But Flash quickly got over his surprise and returned the kiss, savoring the taste and feel of her lips. As they broke away, both of them whispered what had been on their minds all that night. “I love you…” In the end, it would be the second best kiss she ever gave him. Author's Note At long last, it is done. I love my original story, I really do, but this? THIS is the result of me working my hands off to improve every little thing I can. This, is without a doubt, the best story I have. Maybe I can write one better later on, but for now, THIS. IS. IT. Enjoy, and a super special ultra thank you to my Editor/Girlfriend for all her hard work in helping me make this happen 💖💖💖💖💖💛💚💙💜💝 Also, subtle reference to Freedom Shall Ring is totally, 100%, subtle (said no one who has read the story)
Bonus Chapter: How to Date a Princess Bloopers!Writing a story? Is HARD. Filming a movie? Is harder. So in honor of Pixar and their old habit of creating animated bloopers, here is another installment of ‘What if this story was a Pixar movie with animated bloopers?’ Enjoy! Flash the forgetful… Nodding at his reflection, Flash turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door, closing it behind him and— “CUT!” the director yelled, before sighing. “Flash, what did you forget?” Flash blinked, then facehoofed. “The rose,” he groaned. “Why do I keep forgetting that!?” “I don’t know, but please try to remember next time, ok?” “Write a note on your hoof!” the editor shouted helpfully from across the room. Take 3… Nodding at his reflection, Flash turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and put his hoof on the door. “FLOWER!” Flash let out a very startled, ungentlemanly squawk and jumped about a mile. Or, at least, he WOULD have jumped about a mile if there wasn’t a big wooden door in the way. Instead, he smacked right into it with a hearty smack and a loud ‘OW!’ “CUT!” the director shouted. “RAINBOW!” “WHAT?” the colorful pony yelled from her spot hovering above the rest of the crew. “I’m helping!” “No, you’re not!” Flash called, rubbing the back of his head. “You’re REALLY NOT!” Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out. “Don’t make me get my snow clouds to freeze your tail off!” “OOOOOOH, snowball fight!” “Pinkie, NO!” Take 7… Nodding at his reflection, Flash turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door. Once again, without the flower. The director groaned internally and was ready to yell cut again, but Flash immediately facehoofed, turned on a dime, went back in, grabbed the purple rose with no thorns that lay on top of his dresser, and left again. All while staying in character. The director paused, then gave the sign to keep filming. It wasn’t too bad, all things considered. That little blunder was fitting for Flash’s character in the rewrite. That, and the director wasn’t sure Flash would be any less forgetful in the next seven takes they might try. After the shot… “I got it! I got through the part! I salvaged it!” Flash beamed proudly to everypony who would listen. “He sounds like Simmer,” the editor whispered to the director, giggling. The director did have to chuckle at little at that. “Just try not to be that forgetful in every scene you’re in, ok?” he called to Flash. “We have enough problems with blooper reels as it is…” Twilight the pretty… “Well…” Twilight asked nervously, not making eye contact with Flash. “How do I look?” Flash blinked, his mouth working as a blush crept over his face. “You’re so beautiful…you made me forget my lines…” Twilight’s eyes went wide before she burst out giggling. Flash was no better, and soon any semblance of plot was lost. “CUT!” the director yelled. “Really, Flash? I know Rarity did a good job with the dress, but that’s the entire reason why we had you see her in the dress before we started filming!” “Wait, what? Rarity said that was canceled due to a scheduling conflict!” Flash protested, pointing a hoof at the fashionista, who was currently trying to sneak under a table. The director facehoofed. “Rarity…” “I couldn’t help it!” she protested, half on the floor and seemingly not caring about it in the least. “It was the perfect dress! And what better way to capture his true reaction than to have it be a surprise for him for real! And now that you have that, I’m sure the editor can find a way to work it in!” “I don’t know anything about video editing!” the editor protested. “The video editor, dear, not the writing editor,” Rarity clarified. “Ahhh, ok!” the editor exclaimed with an understanding nod. “You gotta admit, boss,” the narrator said, “it was a pretty sweet love-struck look he had there.” The camerapony and sound pony both nodded enthusiastically as well. “You are all such conspirators,” the director sighed, double-facehoofing. “RESET!” Too much Script! Twilight quickly recovered, rolled her eyes, and lightly punched his shoulder as she finally got her blushing under control. “Ha ha, very funny, Mr. Romance. Anything else you need to do as my date?” “Well, let’s see,” Flash said, reaching into his suit and pulling out— The script! “We’re going to have some playful flirting after I find out you had the announcer give me a title, we’ll get to see Bull Horn be knocked down a peg by the girls and Pinkie, we get to dance, I get to make funny faces at Money Bags—hey, stop laughing, I’m not done yet!” he said, continuing to flip through the pages as Twilight tried, and failed, to stop her torrent of laughter. “CUT!” Flashy nappy… “Also surprising was that Princess Twilight had, on their first day, told them to just call her ‘Twilight,’ saying that she didn’t want the ponies who would be working so closely with her to call her ‘Princess’ all the time,” the narrator continued to narrate dramatically. “This had been the first time a princess had specifically asked not to be referred to by her title, so—” THUMP! Everypony jumped as Flash fell to the ground with a loud clang of armor, startling him into a panic. “GAH! I’M AWAKE!” he cried, sitting up and realizing that everypony was staring at him. Everypony save for Spike, who simply rolled to the other side of his throne and continued snoring. “CUT! Did you REALLY just fall asleep? In the MIDDLE of shooting? While STANDING?” “Hey, when you are a guard, you need to sleep where you can,” Flash said, yawning as Twilight giggled from her throne. “And I was up all night making sure I didn’t forget the script again.” “Is THAT why you pulled it out yesterday?” the director asked with an annoyed growl. “No, that was Pinkie’s idea! She thought it would be funny!” “And it was!” the pink pony shouted from…what seemed to be an actual hammock stretched across the top of one of the stained glass windows. Twilight was in full-blown hysterics by now. The director, meanwhile, was very much not. “Pinkie, get DOWN!” “Can I borrow that when we’re done here?” Flash asked. “It looks realllly comfy.” “You betcha!” Long-Winded snorted so hard that he started to cough, and when one of the neighboring ponies thumped him on the back, he dropped to the floor in a fit of giggles. The director rolled his eyes. “Okay, take five, everypony. Except you, Flash. You take nap.” “OKAY!” Flash exclaimed, and promptly fell over and went back to sleep. The editor couldn’t help but laugh her flank off as the director just sighed and got up to go get some white hot chocolate. Something told him he was going to need it. Bull Horn and the Sprout “Thank goodness,” Twilight muttered. “If I had to hear one more thing about his collection of clocks…” She sighed, slumping even further. “Please tell me that’s all,” she begged, looking at Flash pleadingly. Flash just smiled. “Yes, Twilight, he was the last meeting you had for the da—” BANG! SMACK! “OWHOW!” Bull Horn let out a pained cry as the doors he had just dramatically kicked open bounced off the wall and promptly smacked him in the face. They even slowly swung back open to reveal the actor sitting on his flank as he held his bruised nose, the two guards behind him trying not to laugh. “CUT! I know the Gen 5 movie came out recently, but please try not to emulate Sprout and doors in future takes, ok?” the director sighed as he took a gulp of his white hot chocolate. “I’ll try,” Bull Horn said around the tissue a stagehoof had given him. “I will really, really try. I’ll use an ounce less kick next time.” “Hey if you want, I could show you how to do it without getting smacked in the face,” Sprout called out, his head popping out from the doors leading off set. “Sprout, no,” The director deadpanned. “You’re nose JUST finished healing from the police station accident that made it into the G5 movie. We don’t need your nose becoming as red as your coat all over again. And trust me, if that was going to happen again, this would be the set where it happens.” “How about an ounce less bounce? Oh, oh, or maybe an ounce less Sprout! Or an ounce more Izzy!” Pinkie chirped from off to the side. “How exactly do you have an ounce less me?” Sprout asked, looking very confused. “Don’t question it! It’s Pinkie!” The editor called out not-at-all-helpfully. “Got it. Just treat her like Izzy,” Sprout agreed with a nod, earning some laughter from the rest of the ponies on set, including the director. Face-table, not to be confused with facebook… “Yes, Twilight, he was the last meeting you had for the da—” BANG! Flash reacted on his well-trained guard instincts, leaping onto the table in order to block the princess from view before he even realized who was standing in the doorway. Well, that’s what he TRIED to do. What ACTUALLY happened was that his hoof caught on the edge of the table, and rather than protectively jump in front of Twilight, he instead pitched forward and landed face-first on the table with a loud crash of armor. “Flash! Are you ok?” Twilight cried in a panic, helping the dazed pegasus sit up. “Yus, I’m ok, pretty purple pony princess,” he slurred, his eyes spinning in different directions. “I just invented facetabling!” “CUT! We’re taking five while the doc checks on Flash,” the director called, Fluttershy already rushing onto the set. “Someone make sure the table is enchanted against any further issues. Bull Horn, good entrance. Do it just like that for the next take.” “Yus, good job, Horn Ball,” a clearly-very-dizzy Flash slurred in agreement as Twilight helped him get settled on the floor. “Do I gets a lollypop, Flutterbye?” “I do have some sugarfree ones if you’re good,” Fluttershy said, giggling at Flash’s dopey smile. “Yay!” “Are you still filming?” the editor asked, looking at the camerapony. “You are! Why are you still filming?” “Because it’s cute! And we need another awesome blooper reel!” Suddenly, dessert! However, before he or Twilight could reply to Bull Horn’s remark, a loud belch echoed through the chamber. Turning his head, Flash caught the end of the green fire escaping from Spike’s mouth as it condensed into… An entire dessert table!? Sure enough, an entire table laden with sugary treats (at least one-fourth of which were cake) came crashing down on the table map. Flash flinched, but somehow all the deliciousness didn’t fly all over the place. The only that that went flying was a single cupcake, which promptly did a cupcake-style cartwheel and stuck itself perfectly on Twilight’s horn. Pinkie held up a 10 sign. “That was PERFECT!” “CUT!” the director yelled. “Celestia—” “Sorry! I was just…having a little snack, and I sneezed just I was about to send the letter,” the large mare said, sheepishly moving away from where the food table had previously been stationed. “I didn’t expect it to send the whole table on accident though.” “Any chance I can have you do that the next time I have a big party in need of concessions?” Pinkie asked curiously. “We can discuss that later, Pinkie,” Celestia said, giggling as the director facehooved. “I should have known your love of cake would one day lead to a blooper reel,” he groaned. “But honey! Look!” the editor cheered. “They have brownies!” Gassy Horn… “I WILL NOT!” Twilight commanded. “YOU don't have the authority to decide who I take to the Gala, Bull Horn, just like you don't get to open a dangerous gem mine on protected land or start a lumber factory in the Everfree Forest.” “You little—bUUUUUURRRPP!” Duke Bull Horn let out an enormous belch, hastily covering his mouth to try and muffle the sound. Spike burst out laughing, falling back in his chair. Flash and Twilight managed to hold out for a few more seconds before they were also consumed by the giggle bug. Bull Horn blushed. “Note to self, avoid the super bubbly seltzer before filming,” he said with such a note of deadpan seriousness that the ponies on the set could only laugh harder. “CUT!” Teleportation mishaps… “Now GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!” Twilight bellowed. And with that, Bull Horn vanished in the flash of Twilight's teleportation spell… Only to reappear directly above Flash! The orange pegasus could only let out a startled ‘MEEP!’ before Bull Horn crashed into him, leaving both ponies in a groaning tangle of limbs. “Ow…” “Why???” “CUT! Twilight—” “I did the spell as instructed!” Twilight said, frantically levitating Bull Horn off Flash. “And it worked the other five times we’ve practiced it!” “I found the problem!” a technician called out. “The receiver wasn’t turned on, so with no destination, the teleport just returned to the sender! Not sure why it made him appear above Flash, though. It might just be a glitch. ” “For the love of—” the director exclaimed, faceclipboarding. “Can we PLEASE double check the tech from now on? We’ve had enough physical mishaps already, and the last thing we need is for something to go so wrong that we’ll have medical bills to worry about on top of everything else!” IZZY! Twilight’s eyes stopped glowing and she sank down into her throne before facetabling on the crystal map. Or, at least, she would have facetabled on the crystal map if Flash hadn't grabbed a pillow from underneath the table and slid it between her head and the tabletop. However, the moment her head hit the pillow, it exploded in a burst of red glitter. “GAH, wha-pfff-What the hay!?” Twilight cried, spitting out a mouthful of sparkles. “Ok, who messed with my prop this time!?” Flash groaned. “And why did you fill the pillow with—” “GLITTER!” Izzy Moonbow cried, popping up next to Spike, startling him so bad he fell out of his throne. “GLITTER! GLITTER! GLITTER!” She bounded over to the map, grabbed hooffuls of the remains of Twilight’s pillow, and excitedly threw them into the air. “IZZY!” the editor yelled in perfect blend of exasperation and amusement. “What? How could I not come when I heard there was glitter?” Izzy asked innocently as the nearby ponies were busy trying to not get completely covered in sparkly stuff she was throwing around. “CUT!” the director shouted. “Izzy, get back to your set! You’re needed for Chapter 4 of Make Your Mark AND the next chapter of How to Meet Your Daughter.” “But—but GLITTER!” “I will save you the glitter,” the editor promised. “YAY!” “For later!” “Aww…” Boop the pony… “Enhancements, darling. This is not only her first Gala as a PRINCESS, but her first Gala with a DATE as well.” She smiled and winked at him. “I had to make her look her best, so I added a bit more flare by redoing the cosmos patters to be more FABULOUS. So what do YOU think, darling? Hmmmmm?” Rarity asked, leaning in towards Flash dramatically. Flash blinked, smiled, and then booped Rarity on the nose, prompting the fashion pony to let out a startled squeak as her eyes crossed. “Boop!” There was maybe a two second pause before everypony on set, including the support staff and editor, burst out laughing. “C-CUT!” the director called, trying to suppress his own laughter. “Flash, please try to stick to the script.” “Oh, come on, honey. We both know you would do the same thing in his place!” the editor said, playfully draping herself over the arm of his chair. The director just chuckled, giving the editor a boop. “True, case in point. But alas, that wasn’t something that fits enough for us to use, so let’s set this up again!” Why you should always check the manual… “Fair point,” Rarity conceded, nodding. Flash shrugged. He had no experience with the Gala, so he decided to just go with the flow on this one. However, he was surprised when he and Twilight were ushered to the first chariot on their own. Judging by the look of shock and confusion on Twilight’s face, he guessed she was too. When they looked questioningly at Rarity, she said, “A princess should enter first, and who better to escort her off the chariot than her date?” However, at the exact moment Flash touched the chariot door, the entire chariot completely collapsed in on itself. Every possible piece that could break did so in under ten seconds. The cushions inside ripped apart, the walls crumpled in, and the wheels popped off and went rolling away so dramatically that crewmembers had to avoid them. Flash, somehow, didn’t even flinch, and just stood there in shock as the chaos unfolded around him. When the dust settled, he was left there, holding the door next to the pile of scrap that had once been the prop carriage. No pony said anything, until Derpy’s voice rang out over the set. “Oh, so THAT’S what this bolt was for!” “CUT!” Watch the wind “When they landed outside the large golden doors at the main entrance, Flash hopped out and—pfffffftttt!” The narrator stopped narrating and raspberried so hard spit flew from his mouth and his script pages dropped from his hooves. “What on earth—“ the director started. But then he saw what happened. Flash and Twilight had emerged from the carriage with some of the most windswept, messy manes that the director had ever seen. Twilight’s seemed determined to tie itself in knots around the jewels in her hair, and Flash’s looked like three of Fluttershy’s small animals had fought for the right to make a nest on his head. For a second, no pony said anything. Then the editor raspberried into her clipboard and Flash, Twilight, and the director all burst into laughter. “I think we need SOME level of wind control on the carriage ride next time, please?” Twilight said once her laughter calmed down. “I think you’re right,” the editor said, pointing behind them. The other carriages were parking nearby and the other Bearers were disembarking looking just as disheveled as the main couple. Rainbow was grinning at Applejack and Fluttershy was shyly petting her own mane, but Rarity in particular looked very frazzled. “Combs! Don’t worry, everypony! I have combs!” “I think that’s a good cue to cut,” the director said as Flash and the rest of the crew broke out into even more laughter. An ounce too much stomp… “What is the meaning of this?” a familiar loud and very annoying voice sounded. Flash couldn’t help it this time. He facehoofed and turned to the left, catching sight of Duke Bull Horn angrily stomping towards the group. CRACK! Only for his hoof to stomp right though the floor, causing the duke to fall on his face in hilarious fashion. Twilight snorted, trying not to laugh. Something that became even harder when the duke sat up and then tried to free his leg. “I…appear to be stuck,” he admitted, blushing slightly in embarrassment. “CUT! An ounce less stomp next time,” the director said as Twilight helped the duke free his leg with her magic. “I’m starting to think I’m too good at my role of being a jerk noble,” Bull Horn said. “I think that it just shows that you’re such a good actor, our set can’t keep up with you,” the director said with a grin. “All right, let’s set up again.” Frosted noble… “Pardon me, my good sir,” Pinkie said, giggling at her own funny accent. The duke spun around, most likely to start shouting, only to squeak as he came face to face with a large cannon pointed directly at him. Pinkie was lying on top of it, her pose turning quite a few heads. SQUEE! However, before she could speak, the cannon fired, sending her tumbling off with a startled squeak. Duke Bull Horn, meanwhile, was blasted with a pure wall of frosting, leaving him completely engulfed in a blob of light-blue frosting. “CUT! PINKIE!” “SORRY! I forgot to change the munitions!” Pinkie cried from the ground. “It wasn’t supposed to be loaded at ALL!” the director cried before facehoofing. He was going to have a red mark on his forehead at this rate. “Mmmm, blueberries,” Bull Horn said, licking the frosting away around his mouth. “Bull Horn, please.” Slightly bruised noble “Pardon me, my good sir,” Pinkie said, giggling at her own funny accent. The duke spun around… And promptly smacked his nose on the party cannon. “Oooooh…” Bull Horn said, staggering back. “Sorry!” Pinkie cried, scrambling to sit up. Unfortunately, she was lying in such a strange position to start with that she accidentally kicked Bull Horn in the face and sending the duke straight to his flank. “SORRY!” “Oh dear,” Bull Horn said. “Perhaps our dear director is right. I’m becoming so good at being a jerk noble that even our props are trying to take me down a peg!” Before Pinkie could respond to that, the party cannon let out a low whine, lowered its barrel, and poofed a puff of confetti on Bull Horn’s head. The duke and the pink pony locked eyes, and then busted out laughing. “I think that’s enough party cannon scenes for today,” the director said, shaking his head and taking a gulp of white hot chocolate. “CUT!” MY CABBAGES (AND OTHER RANDOM OBJECTS)!!! As a nearby guard approached, Pinkie pulled out… A cabbage? The guard looked extremely confused, as did Pinkie. “Wait, that’s not right. Hold on,” she said, throwing away the cabbage and reaching back into her mane again. Then she pulled out a banana. “Nope!” “Oh, hi Woona!” she said, pulling out the small version of Luna from ‘A moon in the dark.’ “Sorry, I was looking for Toby again,” Woona said. As though on cue, a small dog barked from inside Pinkie’s mane before jumping out and running off with Woona’s cell phone. “Hey, get back here!” the small pony yelled, running off. The director felt a headache beginning to develop. “Nope!” Pinkie said, pulling out a rubber ball next. “Oh, that’s for Izzy,” – a bottle of red glitter. “Thanks for holding that for me!” the editor called. “Oh, hi Gummy!” Pinkie cheered, pulling out her baby alligator. Gummy just licked his own eye, as everypony tried to not laugh. “Nope!” – a Mr. Potato Head, one that appeared to be filled with playdough. “I swear I got it this time!” Pinkie said, sticking her hoof as far in as it could go and pulled out… Caboose’s helmet. “How did this even get in there?” she asked “You’re just asking that now?” the editor called out over her laughter. “CUT!!!!!!” Name calling… The ballroom was off to the right through another set of doors, but Flash was distracted from looking inside by the fact that Celestia wasn’t in her normal place on the grand staircase. Was she actually running late? Flash never though he’d see the day. However, before he could ponder it further, he was distracted again as he and Twilight were announced by a well-dressed pony by the front door. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her escort, Sir Flash Sentry, the Extremely Fluffy!” Twilight nearly tripped over her own hooves as she burst out laughing. Flash just looked extremely confused, as did the announcer pony. “I mean, he’s not wrong, but I don’t think that’s the right line,” Flash said, sounding like a math student who had just found a question about ancient Equestria on his test. Twilight just laughed harder. “CUT! Ok, who messed with the script this time?” the director demanded, looking around the crew with a decerning glare. The editor smiled innocently, though a few seconds of intense staring broke through her defenses. “Ok, yes, fine, that was me. But it was Discord’s idea!” “But you were the one who made the changes,” Discord said, walking out of the dressing room in preparation for his appearance in the next scene. “I didn’t even need to use my magic to adjust the script.” He snapped his talon, and suddenly Flash was three times fluffier than he was previously, much to Twilight’s amusement. “Now THAT was me!” The director just double-facehoofed. “Um, sir? You’re starting to develop a large red spot on your forehead,” the cameraman said shyly. “If somepony other than the editor thinks I’m the Avatar, Tempest has the right to suplex them,” the director groaned. “Sweet,” Tempest said from over near the ice cream station. The plot needs a rewrite… Nodding in agreement, the three of them made their way towards the garden. So all that left was Pinkie. “I’ll go disappear until the plot demands me,” Pinkie said, bouncing off into the ballroom. Uhhhhhh… the director thought before snapping back to his senses. “CUT! PINKIE! STICK TO THE SCRIPT PLEASE!” “But I DID!” Pinkie exclaimed, pouting slightly. The director blinked, before quickly grabbing the script and opening it to the scene in question. Rather than there being a specific line for Pinkie to say, all that was written was ‘Pinkie does something fun or silly, then leaves.’ “What the, who wrote that in the script?” The director asked no pony in particular. “You did, you silly pony,” The editor said playfully, giving the director a quick kiss on the cheek. The director blinked, then just shrugged. “Huh. Fair enough. Alright, we’re going to keep going. Flash and Twilight, just keep those extremely confused looks on your faces!” “That won’t be a problem!” Flash said, his face still very much indicating that he had lost the plot entirely. Too much wall… “So, you’re NOT going to make this night chaotic for us?” Flash asked in suspicion. “Not that I’m complaining, but you ARE the lord of chaos, right?” “Right,” Discord said, smirking. “But the script says I can’t be chaotic, so my paw and claw are tied.” On cue, a set of hoofcuffs appeared over his arms. “CUT! For the love of—you LITERALLY have a fourth-wall joke in less than ONE MINUTE!” the director cried in frustration as Twilight and Flash laughed. “Could you not have just waited, for ONE MINUTE!?” “Oh, but where would be the fun in that?” Discord said with an innocent smile. “Besides, we both know that I need to make at least ONE blooper everytime I show up in one of your stories. It’s just tradition.” Miraculously, the red spot on the director’s forehead didn’t get any bigger. The editor comically missing the point… “Oh, she did, did she?” Discord said, pausing briefly to look above and behind Flash and Twilight’s heads and wink. Flash thought he might be winking to Celestia and Luna, given his height, but upon turning around he found… The editor? “Hi!” the unicorn cheerily exclaimed, waving at the camera. “CUT! Honey, what are you doing on set?” the director groaned as his special somepony just blinked in confusion. “Well, Discord says he is winking at the reader in the next few lines, and since I’m the one who always reads your stories first—” “Sweetie, it’s a fourth wall joke.” A slowly dawning realization spread across her face. “Ohhhh. Right. I knew that when I edited this, but I guess I forgot…Oops,” she admitted, blushing adorably as she stepped to the side and everypony began to set up again. “Honey, how much sleep did you get last night?” “Enough.” “Really? Because I seem to recall getting a text from you at two a.m. this morning, and you were here by eight,” the director said, raising a playful eyebrow. “I had a bout of inspiration!” the editor defended, still very cutely red. “And I…may have been looking over a blog about Good Omens as inspiration for a new story.” “Fair enough, but maybe next time just write down the main idea and come back to it the next day, ok?” the director said, playfully booping her nose with a wing. “You need rest, too.” “Maaa,” the editor squealed, playfully batting away the wing. “Fine, I promise to try.” SPICY!!! “I’m fine,” Twilight said, eating a Hay Burger in just two bites. “WAIT! DON’T—” an orange pegasus yelled, bursting onto the set as fast as her legs could carry her. But it was too late. “HOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!” Twilight screamed and a full stream of fire erupted from her mouth. Flash immediately ducked for cover. It was a miracle only the table was set on fire before Twilight vanished in a pop, reappearing at the nearby fountain with her head submerged in the water. “CUT! Pie Crust, what in Equestria is going on NOW!?” the director yelled as the staff frantically put out the fire. “Your set is down the hall!” “Pinkie stole my Sun Spice for the dinner scene with Sparrow!” Pie Crust yelled, pointing a hoof at the shyly waving pink party pony. “And she DIDN’T read the warning label on them before hoof.” “Oh for—” the director facehoofed. “NO MORE MESSING WITH FOOD!” “PLEASE!” Twilight cried as she finally came up for air. “Especially because it usually affects me! I still haven’t forgotten the dark chocolate anvil from Freedom Shall Ring!” MY CAMERA!!!!! “Twilight,” Flash said firmly, causing her to stop and look at him. “I won’t mind, and I highly doubt anypony else will, if you need to eat more at dinner or lunch or during meetings because you have a fast metabolism. Doing something dangerous like teleporting food directly to your stomach is unnecessary. The only ponies that may possibly care are the nobles, and if they complain, you can just say ‘I’m a princess, I eat what I want!’ Uh uh uh—wait—” He held up his hoof like he was about to do a z-snap, only to seeming remember at the last second that he HAD HOOVES and no z-snapping was going to happen. Twilight let out a loud snort and banged her own hoof on the table… And hit the edge of her plate and sent it flying directly into the camerapony, knocking him and his tripod to the ground. “Sorry!” she cried, scrambling to get off the chair. “Shutter, are you ok?” “MY CAMERAAAA!!!” the camerapony yelled dramatically from the floor, but he was laughing as he wiped the remains of ketchup and ice cream off his lens. “MY FLOOOOOR!!!!” the janitor yelled from the back of the set. “I just cleaned that from the last take!” “MY CABBAGES!!!!” Pinkie yelled from wherever she was until the plot demanded her. “MY STOORRRRRRRY!!!!!!” the director yelled more dramatically than anyone, sending the editor into a fit of giggles. “I think it’s time to cut before we break anypony,” she said. Now…DO A SILLY FACE! “Bolemb omble bo,” Flash said with a grin. “What are you—” Money Bags angrily questioned, only for Flash to cut him off “Bobole boalalalahahahaha…” He SHOULD have kept going, but he proved completely unable to keep a straight face and dissolved into giggles. Not only that, but Twilight and Money Bags both lost it too, breaking out in laughter. “CUT!” “Sorry!” the orange pegasus said around his laughter. “It’s harder than it looks!” Take four… “Be quiet and let me—” “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—” “Bob levy bo—wait, that’s not right—” Money Bags and Twilight both snorted and dissolved into giggles as Flash realized he completely messed up AGAIN. “CUT!” the director yelled. “Come on, Flash! You can do this!” “No, I can’t!” Flash yelled back, breaking into laughter himself. “I have finally met the death of my acting career – insane nonsense noises!” Twilight was now laughing so hard she had crumpled to the floor and Money Bags looked quite ready to join her. “I think they broke,” the editor giggled, and the director had to admit she was probably right. “Meal time! Take a break!” he yelled in the voice of a certain crotchety spider, and grinned as the editor burst into full-on laughter. Take ten… “Would you—” “Bobele bo.” “What are you—” “Bolo.” “CUT!” “Aw, come on! What did I do wrong this time?” Flash yelled. “I was doing so good!” “Sorry, Flash, you got your noises out of order. ‘Bolo’ doesn’t come ‘til the end.” Now Flash facehoofed. “Really? REALLY? What does it matter? It’s NONSENSE noises! What does it matter what order I do them in?” “I think I might have messed him up too,” Money Bags said, rubbing the back of his head. “I also got my lines out of order.” “I thought something sounded different!” Twilight said. Flash, without lifting his hoof from his face, buffed Money Bags with his wing. “ACK!” “Okay, I feel a bit better now.” “Yeah, I think I deserved that.” “Reset!” Seven takes later… “Be quiet and let me—” “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—hohoho—” Money Bags began, only to burst out laughing as he completely broke character again. “Oh, come on, I had it that time!” Flash exclaimed in playful exasperation. Twilight just howled in laughter next to him. “CUT!” Another five takes later… “Bobele bo.” “Shut—” “Ombole.” “PFFFF!” Twilight snorted, breaking character and laughing her head off once again. This, of course, made Money Bags break character as well. “So close…” Flash sighed. “CUT!” Oh my! “And furthermore, nobility has no standing on who she is allowed to be with and trying to shame and harass her into being with someone of ‘equal standing’ is highly unacceptable. In fact, seeing as you are one of the nobles who STILL refuses to cast aside your class prejudice despite me and my sister constantly saying it is despicable, I don’t think I will be inviting you back to the Gala next year, as you clearly can’t be trusted to act with dignity,” Celestia said with an air of finality. “OH MY!” A smooth voice blasted from a nearby speaker, prompting everypony to spontaneously break character and laugh. Even Celestia wasn’t immune as she let out a loud, very un-lady like snort. “CUT! Really? REALLY? Why did you use THAT voice line? That is NOT what I meant when I wrote that part of the narration!” the director exclaimed in exasperation. “But it’s the perfect meme! You can’t get more perfect than that meme!” the narrator said in his defense. The director just glared at the narrator, who quickly got the message and simply smiled sheepishly as he slowly slid his phone away. “We are going to have so many good clips for the blooper reel,” the camerapony whispered to the camera. “So. MANY.” TIMBER!!! “Go ahead, Twilight,” Celestia said. “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Twilight laughed, falling to the side as her legs gave out. Celestia teleported over a large pillow for her to collapse onto. However, Twilight completely missed the cushion and fell to the ground with a grunt. “Ow…” “CUT! Wrong side, Twilight. Are you ok?” “Yeah, I’m ok,” Twilight groaned as Flash helped her stand back up. “Can we try that again?” Definitely Sisters… “We’ll just have to take a rain check on that then,” Flash said as Twilight stopped laughing and blushed like mad as she looked away from him. An appropriate reaction… “EEK!” BLAM! Everypony jumped and turned to the door. Luna was SUPPOSED to walk through it, but instead, the rest of the cast were greeted by the sight of a large blue horn skewered through the wood. The door slowly swung open, revealing an embarrassed Luna hanging limply by her embedded horn. “Um, oops?” she said sheepishly. “I, um, tripped…” Nopony moved for a few seconds. Then Celestia burst out laughing, nearly falling on top of Flash as she collapsed. “CUT! If there was any doubt you two were sisters, I think that can be put to rest,” the director said, unable to hide a small smile. Who would have thought tripping and stabbing your horn through doors was hereditary? Do the DJ shuffle! Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the song to end. DA da da-na da da DA da da-na da da DA da da-na da da DA-NA-NA-NO-NA-NA DA da da-na da DA da da-na da da! Instead of the cued-up wind music, a certain fish’s theme came blaring through the speakers, making Flash, Twilight, and all the extras exchange looks of amused confusion. “CUT!” “NGRAAH don’t cut, punk!” came a very familiar voice. “This is my JAM!” The director whipped his head around just in time to see Undyne’s head pop out of the crowd of ponies on set. And then Papryus slowly rose up next to her with his ‘Cool Dude’ shirt and a giant goofy grin. “What the—what are you two doing here?” the director yelled over the noise. “FEAR NOT, MOVIE PONIES!” Papyrus yelled back. “WE PROMISE TO ONLY ENHANCE YOUR ARTS AND CRAFTS EXPERIENCE!” “That’s right, Papyrus! NOW COME ON, PUNKS! SHOW ME HOW YOU GROOVE!!!!” The music, if possible, got even louder, and Undyne started throwing spears into the air like giant blue confetti. “This. Is. AWESOME!” Rainbow cheered. The director face-megaphoned, ignoring the way his hoof was tapping to the beat. “Somepony start passing around hard hats, please!” Take two… Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the song to end. IT’S THE FIGHT OF THE AGES, RED VERSUS BLUE! “What the HAY?” Flash called. “Are we doing a crossover now?” “CUT!” the director screamed. “Okay, who kidnapped the DJ? PINKIE!” “WHAT?” Pinkie yelled from wherever she was until the plot demanded her. “Au contraire, dear director,” Discord drawled, popping up behind the director’s chair and making him spill the last of his white hot chocolate all over himself. “This one was my choice.” The director frowned at him, licking a bit of chocolate off his hoof and making grumbly noises. “What? Your editor was singing it to herself earlier and I thought it was the perfect chaotic dance song!” He pointed his claw at the editor, who was indeed bopping her head and singing along. And she wasn’t the only one, since Pinkie had appeared out of nowhere and was now actively acting out the rap with herself as Church and a confused-looking Applejack as Sarge. The director opened his mouth and then shut it, shaking his head. “I have no words.” “Then my work is done!” Discord cheered, disappearing with a pop. “DID SOMEPONY SAY PULLOVER SWEATER?” Caboose screamed, running out of absolutely nowhere onto the set. Flash whipped around so quickly he would have fallen if Rarity hadn’t pulled out her fainting couch just in time. “CABOOSE!” Take three… Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the song to end. BOP…bopp…BOP…bopp…BOP…bopp… “Oh, for the love of—DISCORD!” “I already had my fun! It’s not me this time!” “Then WHAT—” Before the director could finish his question, there was a loud woof and a small, fluffy white dog tore across the set, barking happily. “Toby! Come back!” Woona cried, weaving around the legs of the bigger ponies with a certain yellow flower bouncing in a pot on her back. “WHY AM I HERE?” Flowey shouted. “I DON’T NEED TO BE HERE!” A couple of the extras tried to grab the Annoying Dog, but he avoided their grasp with practiced ease and launched himself right at Fluttershy, who reflexively caught him. “Oh!” she exclaimed softly, adjusting her hold on Toby. He smiled and licked her face, wagging his tail. “Oh, hello!” The director face-hooved, then double-face-hooved. “A dog. I have officially lost control to a DOG!” “His name is Toby!” Woona corrected. The director face-clipboarded because apparently face-hooving wasn’t enough. “I think that’s a cue to take lunch,” the editor said, patting the director on the back “Seriously, WHY AM I HERE?” HALLO! Flash caught up but chose to stay quiet as she randomly spouted facts about the new plants around her, many of which she must have found in books because she was Twilight. “HALLO!” Flash let out a startled whinny and leapt into Twilight’s hooves as a blue pony in armor – sans helmet – walked out from between the bushes. He raised his hoof and gave an excited wave. “CUT! Caboose! What are you doing here!?” the director yelled. “Yes, hello. I am Caboose from Spero! Has, anypony seen my helmet?” the blue pony asked, looking around in confusion. “A little voice said she was going to borrow it for a while, but now I can’t find it, and Church says I need it for the next salad. I don’t know why I need it for lunch, but I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about.” “Oh for—PINKIE! Give Caboose back his helmet! I swear, why did you even need that in the first place?” “You know, I can’t even remember myself,” Pinkie admitted with a small shrug and a smile. “But I’m sure I’ll remember eventually. Here you go, Caboosey!” A quick toss and the helmet laned perfectly back on Caboose’s head. “Thank you, pink candy pie pony! I will always remember your golden crust!” Caboose exclaimed, vanishing back into the bushes. The director was severely tempted to facehoof, but managed to avoid the impulse thanks to a quick kiss from the editor. DUCK AND ANVIL!!! “However, as the two neared the gazebo in the very center of the gardens, Flash heard something, a sound that most certainly did NOT blend in with the rest of the garden’s noises,” the narrator dramatically read. “It was a high-pitched sound, almost like—" “EEP!” Twilight squealed. Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before something flew over their heads, impacting a nearby tree with— A…quack? Looking up, Flash saw that, rather than a rock, a rubber duck had impacted the tree, and was currently bouncing its way across the ground. “But—but that was a ROCK when I threw it!” Bull Horn cried in confusion. “CUT! Discord, I swear to Harmony!” “Oh, come on, I had to! For old time’s sake!” the spirit of chaos complained. “You didn’t. You REALLY didn’t!” Take 2… Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a pillow fell gently onto his head. Flash blushed when he saw the fabric print was comprised of a bunch of small pictures of him and Twilight kissing. “CUT!!! DISCORD, I AM WARNING YOU!” “But it’s a reference to the last blooper reel we did! I had to do it more than once!” Take 3… Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a HARMONY DAMN ANVIL flew overhead and quite literally snapped the fake tree it was supposed to hit in half, showering the couple in a fine dust of dark chocolate. “NOT THAT STUPID ANVIL AGAIN!” Twilight cried, clutching Flash in a panic. “CUT! Tempest! Permission Granted!” the director yelled. “Wait, wha—” That was all Discord had time to say before the dark red pony seized him and dramatically suplexed him through the set, punching his head clean through the floor. “Ahhh, that was satisfying,” Tempest said with a grin, happily prancing away back to the ice cream table. “Ok, that was fair,” the muffled voice of Discord acknowledged. One hot take… “You really think we didn’t know there was going to be new royalty!?” Bull Horn bellowed. “We knew SIX MONTHS beforehoof that—wait, wait, WAIT! TAIL IS ON FIRE! TAIL IS ACTUALLY ON FIRE!” He screamed and dropped to the ground, rolling around in a panic as the rage-shift suit sparked and his tail ACTUALLY caught on fire. “ON IT!” Rainbow screamed as three other ponies frantically ran onto the set. Before they could even reach Bull Horn, Rainbow soared past them at top speed and doused the on-fire unicorn with a fire extinguisher in under ten seconds flat. “Oh, thank Celestia,” Bull Horn said, going slack as the let the unicorns hastily remove the rage-shift suit. “But I didn’t do anything?” Celestia called from the side. A small bout of tension-relieving laughter bubbled up from the crew. Even Bull Horn was smiling through the wisps of smoke of his singed tail. “CUT! Ok, we’ll break for lunch. I want that suit and the replacement tested before we use them again. We don’t need to burn the whole set down. Honestly, what is with this shooting and things catching fire. And don’t anypony say it’s only happened twice! Because I know that the moment somepony mentions that, something else is going to—” “Help! The coffee machine is on fire!” Pinkie cried. Facehoofing wasn’t enough, but thankfully the floor wasn’t on fire and was also readily available. This is why she needs a license to carry… But before Duke Bull Horn could speak, the plot demanded Pinkie. “THE PLOT DEMANDS MEEEEEEEEE!” Pinkie exclaimed, only for her to slip on the roof. In a moment of poetry, Pinkie’s party cannon fell to the ground below her, while the pie she was supposed to throw at Bull Horn ended up hitting Flash instead. Then Pinkie herself landed in the cannon face-first, before it fired its new pink pony ammunition directly at Twilight causing both ponies to go rolling away in a heap. Meanwhile, Bull Horn just stood there, looking at the chaos that had unfolded before him. When the dust settled, he just blinked, then looked down at himself as if expecting something to randomly to appear out of nowhere and pull him into the chaos. “Huh. I wasn’t expecting to avoid being a part of that,” he admitted as Flash whipped the pie off his face and Twilight and Pinkie disentangled themselves. “Maybe the universe thought you’ve had enough punishment for one taping,” Flash said with a shrug. “Really? At this point, I was starting to think the set itself like to see me involved in these bloopers,” Bull Horn deadpanned, though even the director could see the playfulness in his eyes. “Maybe we should get the set a better contract then! More health benefits, more pay, and then maybe we would have less bloopers!” Flash boldly proclaimed, prompting both ponies to laugh at the idea of paying their inanimate objects a salary. “CUT!” TEMPEST SMASH!!! Before Flash could say anything else, a new noise reached their ears. “BABY SHARK DO DO DO DO DO, BABY SHARK DO DO— SMASH! Everypony on set jumped as Tempest, seemingly out of nowhere, appeared behind the record player and smashed it to pieces with one well-placed strike. “HARMONY, I hate that song,” she growled, staring down at the shattered record as though it had insulted her broken horn and spit in her face. “She is going to be so mad when she finds about how often that song is going to come up in future How To stories,” Flash said once Tempest was out of earshot, grinning like a mad stallion. “You don’t need to be so excited about her being angry, you know,” Twilight lightly chided him, though she was unable to hide her own giggle. “CUT! Ok, that’s it. We’re done filming for the day! We’ll finish the ending scene tomorrow morning before reshooting the scene where Flash and Twilight are watching everypony else dance. After that we’re moving on to How to Make Amends!” The director sighed and sunk into his chair. “Ugh, what a DAY!” “Oh, come on, honey. It wasn’t that bad,” the editor said, coming over and giving him a quick little kiss on the cheek. “How about you just relax here for a minute while I finish up, then we can go get some Applebee’s for dinner tonight? I think you’ve earned it, and then we can go watch some Red vs Blue. How does that sound? “That sounds wonderful,” the director said, giving the editor a quick little kiss of his own. “If only this movie was as simple as going out to dinner. “Well, maybe it would be easier, but it wouldn’t be NEARLY as much fun!” The director blew a raspberry at her, but he was smiling. Dancing like there’s no tomorrow… “Turning back to the dance floor,” the narrator said. “Flash watched Twilight’s friends to try and distract himself. Rarity had apparently decided to humor poor Spike and share a dance with him, though, it was more like she was hugging him and moving in time to the music, given how much taller she was than him, but Spike looked utterly blissful all the same. Rainbow had actually been pulled into a dance with the Wonderbolt Soarin and looked even more excited than Twilight did when new books came in from the royal library. Though he had to admit he never actually thought he’d see Rainbow BLUSH. Well, first time for everything. “Then,” the narrator continued, smiling at the camera, “the editor pulled the director out onto the dance floor to serve as background extras!” The camerapony swiveled his device over to the director’s fancy chair just in time to catch the editor grabbing his foreleg and pulling him onto the scene before the pegasus had a chance to even say ‘wait, WHAT?!’ The actors all looked pretty surprised, but soon they were clapping and cheering as the editor started leading the director in a dance. The pony in charge of sound even turned up the music! And then almost all the crewmembers flooded after them, and soon the dance floor was a huge crowd of ponies in fancy evening costumes and ponies in work uniforms having the absolute time of their lives. The camerapony zoomed in on the director and the editor, dancing near the edge. The editor was beaming and laughing and the director was blushing so hard that it was difficult to tell what was redder – his cheeks or the mark on his forehead. But despite all that, he was grinning too. “Come on, Shutter!” somepony yelled, and that’s all it took for the camerapony to lock his tripod and jump into the party himself. He had a passing thought about how long it would be before the director recovered enough to yell ‘cut,’ but then he caught another glimpse of him and the editor looking at each other with big happy love-struck eyes and had a feeling they’d be dancing all night long. Almost an hour later, a clawed hand of Discord gently picked up the camera. “That’s all folks!” He exclaimed as a familiar loony song played in the background before he winked and turned the camera off. Author's Note TA DA!!! The next chapter of How to Meet Your Daughter is still being edited, but in the meantime, enjoy this fun little bit of behind the scenes shenanigans from How to Date a Princess. I originally did a similar bonus chapter for Freedom Shall Ring, but decided it was time to do another one for How to Date a Princess. As always, please enjoy, and I want to give an extra special thank you to my Fiancee/Editor for her help in improving some of the bloopers and for creating a few of her own to add even more flavor to the story
The GalaFlash Sentry straightened his tie one last time as he gazed at the mirror. He was wearing a sharp black tuxedo with a dark blue tie. His orange coat and blue mane had been washed and combed to perfection, and his teeth shone after a vigorous brushing. All in all, he looked ready. Nodding at his reflection, he turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door, only stopping once briefly along the way to pick up a single purple rose with no thorns from his desk. Walking down the hallway, he tried to imagine how the night might go. He had never been to the Gala, and, based on the stories he’d heard, he wasn’t sure he would have ever wanted to. But Twilight needed him to avoid the criticism showing up alone would bring, especially after what happened a month ago with Duke Bull Horn. He was jostled out of his thoughts as he arrived at Twilight’s room. Raising a hoof, he knocked on the door, receiving a quick call of ‘just a second’ from inside. When the door opened, any doubts Flash had were washed away as he tried to keep his mouth from hanging open and his wings from springing out in excitement. Twilight was breathtaking. She wore an elegant purple dress that seemed to flow with every move she made. It was covered in star designs that made it look like the beauty of the cosmos had wrapped themselves around her. Her mane was pinned up, like it had been at her coronation, and it seemed to shine with its own set of stars. She was blushing, which somehow only made her even more beautiful. “Well…” she asked, nervously, not making eye contact with Flash. “How do I look?” Flash blinked and said the only thing that came to his mind: “I think you might make Princess Celestia jealous.” Twilight only blushed harder as her head shot up in surprise. “FLASH!” “What? You look spectacular!” he said, gesturing at her with his hooves. “I bet you are going to outshine everyone there, even Celestia and Luna!” Twilight just lowered her head and let out a sigh, muttering, “You don't need to exaggerate so much.” “First, I’m not exaggerating. Second, as your date, it would normally be my job to compliment you and exaggerate. The only problem is that there is no way I can possibly think of exaggerating how good you look.” He smiled gently as he lifted her chin so her eyes met his own. “Trust me, you. Are. Perfect… almost.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the purple rose and gently slid it behind her left ear. “There, now you’re perfect.” Twilight rolled her eyes and lightly punched his shoulder as she finally got her blushing under control. “Ha ha, very funny Mr. Romance. Anything else you need to do as my date?” “Engage in playful banter, maybe flirt with you, and make sure you have a good night so that I can ask you out again,” Flash said, earning himself a deadpan stare from Twilight, though he could make out the smile that was trying to work its way through. “Technically, you only asked me out because I was refusing to ask you out given that I didn't want to force you to make up for my mistake, remember?” “But I WAS still the one to ask you.” Flash smiled as he took his place by her side and raised a wing to ask permission. Twilight gave a small nod and Flash dropped the wing across her back. Much easier than holding hooves. Her dress was smooth under his feathers and he could feel her wings twitch against him. “Besides, if this night goes well, maybe we can have a real date. One without nobles and all this pomp and circumstance.” “Even though I don’t really know much about you?” Twilight asked playfully. “That’s what dates are for,” Flash said. “Think of them like research.” “Then I guess we’ll just need to see if this project requires multiple tests to reach a conclusion,” Twilight said as the two began to leave the castle to meet up with her friends. “I suppose so…” One month ago… Flash Sentry was not a happy soldier. And as was usually the case, it had nothing to do with his job. About five months ago, Shining Armor, his commander, had selected him and a group of crystal ponies to transfer to Ponyville in order to serve as The Twilight Guard. Similar to the Solar, Lunar, and Crystal Guards, they would be responsible for protecting a princess, in this case, Princess Twilight. While Princess Twilight had originally refused to have guards, saying that she didn't need them and that they would disrupt her life too much, the aftermath of the Starlight Glimmer Village Incident had led to Celestia, Luna, and Cadence all overruling her on the issue. The group was small, only about thirty ponies, but Shining Armor had said that this was mainly to allow Princess Twilight to get used to them, before he expanded it. What had come as a shock to Flash was that he was put in charge as Princess Twilight’s guard captain. Thankfully, it actually didn't turn out too be to difficult. His primary job was setting up the schedule and positions of the guard, and insuring that everypony was keeping up to date on their training. With such a small group, it wasn't such a big task. The only issue was that Twilight had received no guards up until this point, which meant that their primary concern was making sure her castle was secure as this was the most likely place that she would be attacked, if it ever came to that. While this might not have normally been a problem since he could just request more guards, Twilight was still stubbornly refusing to allow any more guards than the ones Shining had already sent, which meant that Flash didn't have enough guards to protect her and the castle at the same time due to the castle’s size and the numbers he had to work with. As a solution, Flash himself volunteered to be Princess Twilight’s personal guard. This made sure she was protected when out of the castle, and with help from communication crystals made in the Crystal Empire, Flash could always call for backup should the need arise. That had yet to happen, thankfully, despite the crazy shenanigans that happened in Ponyville on a weekly basis (usually on Tuesdays). Because of this arrangement, Flash was given his own room in Princess Twilight’s castle so that he would be nearby should an emergency occur. The rest of the guard was located in a new barracks building a short distance away from the castle. Also, this arrangement meant he had more time to talk with Princess Twilight outside of his scheduled duties. One of the first things that had happened when Flash and his ponies arrived at Ponyville was that Princess Twilight had immediately told them to just call her ‘Twilight,’ saying that she didn’t want the ponies who would be working so closely with her to call her ‘Princess’ all the time. She had then worked to befriend every guard. It had been a little surprising, but many of the guards seemed to like getting to know her on a more personal level. Flash had to agree with them, especially since she was nice enough to give them a bit of a pay bonus whenever they had a family birthday coming up. But, unfortunately, things weren't always so good. Because of her new status, and possibly the new castle, many of the nobles now assumed that Twilight had the same authority as Princess Celestia, whereas in reality she could still be overruled by Celestia or Luna due to the fact that she was still learning how to rule. As such, many nobles had tried at least once to convince Twilight to overrule something that had already been decided by the Solar Sisters. Not only could Twilight do nothing, but most of the time she agreed with Celestia and Luna’s decisions. It had led to more than one… awkward conversation, to say the least. Seriously, who would approve of cultivating poison joke for use in pranking powders!? That idea was insane! And today was another day where a noble had come seeking something stupid, but this time it was both idiotic AND insulting. “Duke Horn, for the last time, I will not, under any circumstances, be taking your son to the Gala as my date,” Twilight said coldly, glaring at the pony standing across from her throne in the map room. Said pony was Duke Bull Horn, a slightly overweight unicorn with a brown coat, a light red and orange mane, and a cutie mark of a lion head, his family’s crest. He was, at least in Flash’s opinion, one of the worst nobles to exist. While some, like Prince Blueblood, were annoying, they would leave you alone if you left them alone. Bull Horn, on the other hoof, would constantly seek out others and would verbally attack anypony who didn't give him what he wanted. In his mind, he was the only one that mattered, and he would stop at nothing to make sure he got everything he felt he deserved. “And I’m telling you that there is no other option!” The duke proclaimed, nose hoisted in the air as it had been for the entire meeting. “You are a princess now, so despite what you may have done when you were still of COMMON blood, you NEED to be escorted to the Gala by somepony of status and prestige, and my son is the only one who can POSSIBLY be worthy to fulfill such an important role.” ‘Yeah, right,’ Flash thought, trying not to roll his eyes. Bull Horn’s son, Money Bags, was just as bad as his father. The only difference was that he was a brat, and was far more likely to simply whine and throw a tantrum than to actually do anything of import. Judging by the skeptical frown Spike was giving him from his small throne at Twilight’s side, Flash knew the young drake was thinking the same thing. “YOU don't have the authority to decide who I take to the Gala, Bull Horn, just like you don't get to open a dangerous gem mine on protected land or start a lumber factory in the Everfree Forest,” Twilight said, not breaking her gaze even as the duke’s face became contorted in rage. “You little—” “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Flash snapped, stepping forward. “You may be a guest here, Duke, but that doesn't mean I can't kick you out for insulting or harassing the princess.” “Keep out of this, you worthless airhead,” the Duke replied, only to find his mouth suddenly gone as Twilight lit her horn, her eyes glowing. “I DO NOT tolerate racial slurs in MY CASTLE!” Twilight thundered. “Now you listen to me. I WILL NOT be courting your son because I ALREADY HAVE A DATE, and if you do not drop this issue, I will make sure you never receive another Gala ticket as long as you live. “Now GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!” And with that, Bull Horn vanished in the flash of a teleportation, one that most likely left him upside down in the town’s fountain, if Flash read the little quirk of Twilight’s mouth correctly. Twilight’s eyes stopped glowing and she she sank down into her throne before facetabling on the crystal map. Or, at least, she would have facetabled on the crystal map if Flash hadn't grabbed a pillow from underneath the table and slid it under her head and the map. He had made sure to keep at least one pillow under the table since it became clear that Twilight would facetable after every audience with a noble. At least, this way, he could prevent her headaches from getting any worse. “Thank you,” she mutter into the pillow, releasing a long sigh. “Of course, Princess,” Flash said with a nod. “Flash…” “Er, Twilight. Sorry. Force of habit.” “At least he’s gone,” Spike said. “But I didn't know you had a date, Twilight.” “I don’t,” Twilight groaned into the pillow. “Which means when I show up at the Gala alone, he’s gonna just harass me even more and claim that I’m a liar. I’ll never here the end of this now, all because me and my big mouth.” She lifted her head and smushed it back into the pillow with a ‘whack.’ “But then why did you say you did?” “Because I lost my temper and I wanted him to drop this stupid idea of his. And by doing so, I just made things worse for myself.” “Can’t you just ask somepony in town to go with you?” Flash asked. “You seem to be pretty popular.” “Everypony in town is either afraid of my status as a princess, or they won’t want to go with somepony who they think is crazy.” “Come on Twilight, no pony thinks you're crazy,” Spike said. “Smarty Pants incident, parasprites, time-traveling-self-doomsday preparation—” “Ok, so maybe you’ve had a few bad incidents,” Spike said, wincing, “but that doesn't mean somepony won’t say yes. And if that fails, you could always take Flash.” “HUH?” Both Twilight's and Flash’s heads whipped around to stare at the little dragon in shock. “I mean, he’s always escorting you into town and such, so you could easily just say you wanted to get to know him better. It would be enough to at least show the Duke that you weren't lying.” Flash considered that for a moment. Twilight had said she had a date, so as long as she showed up with SOMEPONY, she should be fine. The Duke would still be mad, but that was a given. And Spike was right. He was seen so often with Twilight that it would be perfectly believable for him to be her escort to the Gala, even as more than just a guard. Flash had never actually though about going on a real date with her though. She was smart, funny, kind, and of course, very pretty, but those were a given for someone who had ascended to become an alicorn and a princess. He also found her to be rather adorkable, as Pinkie Pie put it, but he had always let his guard duty come before personal life. There was also the fact that she might not want to be in a relationship right now considering all the stress she was under. But then again, if Shining Armor and Princess Cadence could do it, why couldn’t he and Twilight? Maybe dating somepony would actually help get her mind off her duties for a while. Worst-case scenario, the date was a one-time thing and everything returned to normal after the Gala. Best-case scenario… “Spike!” Twilight cried, pulling Flash from his thoughts. “I can’t just force him to go with me to the Gala! That would be abusing my powers as a princess, and—“ Flash decided to take a chance. “Hey Twilight, will you go the Gala with me?” Twilight tried to spin to face him, but only succeeded in falling out of her throne in shock, thankfully falling in the gap between the table and the throne rather than hitting her head on the table. Flash winced. “I…HUH???” “Would you…” Flash repeated, helping her to her hooves before pointing at her. “Like to go…” He pointed to the door. “To the Gala…” He touched the golden ticket on the table. “With me?” Lastly, his hoof came to his chest. It was very hard not to laugh as Twilight sputtered and tried to come up with a coherent answer, her face bright red. “But-but-but I-I can’t ask you to, I mean you don’t…” Flash gently covered her mouth with a hoof, forcing her purple eyes to meet his blue ones. “Twilight, as your guard, it’s my job to protect you from danger and ensure that you can do you job with as few hurdles as possible. That includes making sure Annoying Noble Number 283 does't have more ammo to use against you.” “But…” “And as your friend, I can’t let you be forced into going with somepony as horrible as Money Bags. So I’m not asking you to go because you’re forcing me to. I’m asking you to go because I want to help you, and because worst comes to worst, everything goes right back to the way it was when the Gala is over. Ok?” Flash gave her a soft smile. Twilight blushed and looked away. “O-ok,” she muttered. “I-I would be honored to have you accompany me to the Gala.” “Cool,” Flash said, grinning. “Now I believe your friend Rarity makes suits right?” Twilight nodded. “Then I will head over there later today so I can get fitted, as I never thought of bringing a suit with me.” “We can go now, actually,” Twilight said, still refusing to meet Flash’s eyes. “I need to pick up a book I lent her anyway, and it's been a while since I've seen her. We can catch up while she's taking your measurements.” “Can I come?” Spike asked excitedly, always looking forward to seeing the mare of his dreams. “Sure,” Twilight said, giggling at Spike's enthusiasm as he leapt up to his normal position on her back. The present… As Flash and Twilight stepped out of the castle, they were saluted by the two guards stationed out front. Both of them nodded in acknowledgement. Just a short ways away, the rest of the Element Bearers and Spike stood waiting near three flying carriages that would be taking them to Canterlot. The sun was just beginning its descent, bathing the land around the castle in an warm orange glow and causing the crystal castle to sparkle in a brilliant display. Each of the girls was wearing a dress cut in a similar style to Twilight’s, but Rarity had carefully designed each gown to reflect the pony who wore it. Her own dress looked like it had been cut from crystal, so twinkly that it could blend in with Twilight’s castle. Applejack was draped in a gown all the colors of a fall forest, while Fluttershy shimmered like the wings of a butterfly. Rainbow’s dress was as light and flowing as the wind it was patterned after, and Pinkie…well, in true Pinkie fashion, she looked like a giant cupcake topper. They all looked amazing, but Flash thought Twilight looked the best. Though since she was his date, he was probably biased. Normally the girls would have gotten dressed together, but this time Twilight had wanted to get dressed alone so she could ask for Flash’s honest opinion without the girls pressuring him to say something nice. Especially Rarity. Twilight had even caught her threatening Flash not to mistreat her, though that was probably just to make sure her experience with Flash didn't end up like her and Blueblood’s. Spike was there too, dressed in a black tuxedo just like Flash, only he also wore a top hat and carried a small cane. He was the first to spot them and waved. “There you two are,” the dragon called, alerting the others to their arrival. “What took you so long?” “Pre-date banter,” Flash replied, grinning as Twilight rolled her eyes. The others however, all giggled at his answer. “I must say, Twilight,” Rarity began. “You look simply stunning. I knew my modifications would help, but I didn’t expect them to have quite this effect.” “Modifications?” Flash asked before the blushing Twilight could reply. “Of course darling. This is not only her first Gala as a PRINCESS, but her first Gala with a DATE as well,” she smiled and winked at him. “I had to make her look her best. Speaking of, what do YOU think, darling? Hmm?” Flash smiled. “While I always think she looks amazing, you’ve outdone yourself this time, Rarity,” he said, smirking as Twilight tried to hide behind his wing to block her blushing face. “An excellent answer,” Rarity said with a nod. “I think you might have quite the catch here, Twilight.” “Mmmm…” Twilight replied, still hiding. “Enough chit chat,” Rainbow said, flapping her wings impatiently. “Let’s just go already! I wanna talk to the Wonderbolts before they get surrounded by ‘nobles,’” she said, making air quotes, “again like they did last year. I couldn’t even get a single word in.” “There’s also the rush we gotta worry about,” Applejack said, moving towards the second chariot. “Everypony’s gonna get there at once, so unless we wanna get bogged down in the mad dash inside, I suggest we get moving.” “Fair point,” Rarity conceded, nodding. The group moved to the chariots, but both Flash and Twilight were surprised when they were ushered to the first chariot on their own. When they looked questioningly at Rarity, she said, “A princess should enter first, and who better to escort her off the chariot than her date?” Flash thought she was enjoying teasing poor Twilight almost as much as he was. Once they were all secure, the chariots lifted off the ground and made straight for Canterlot. Overall, the ride was only about half an hour and while still early fall, Twilight spent most of that time under Flash’s wing to avoid the cold wind. Not that he minded. Both enjoyed the sight of the vast open country shining in the waining sunset before they were flying over the streets of Canterlot, all decorated for the Gala. Even if most ponies couldn’t get into the palace, there were still plenty of smaller parties held by individual ponies as well. It truly was a city-wide event, though Flash thought the small parties might be more fun than the actual Gala. The castle itself looked far more impressive than it normally did. There where banners stretching between all of the towers and wrapping around much of the building without blocking any windows or balconies. There were balloons tied to much of the outer wall and elegant flower displays lining the walkway leading up to the main doors. Lights also covered much of the outer castle, making the entire structure appear to sparkle in the last rays of sunlight. Though chances are that the large lights just turning on and pointed directly at the castle would allow this effect to be seen all throughout the night. When they landed outside the large golden doors leading up to the front of the marble castle, Flash hopped out first and offered a hoof to Twilight. She accepted his assistance, although she couldn't help blushing again as everypony watched the two of them. Nearby, some of the nobles were whispering, others openly glaring at Flash, but he really didn't care. However, he could tell that Twilight did care simply by how much she was fidgeting, so he didn't hesitate to wrap his wing around her again as a makeshift shield from the nobles. The unicorn nobles might think he was being too forward, but oh well, too bad for them. Twilight certainly didn't mind as she relaxed in his grip once again. The rest of the group soon had gathered and helped buffer the couple from the rest of the nobles, Rainbow Dash giving the nobles some especially dirty looks. Once Rarity had stopped fawning over the castle, everypony and dragon moved towards the front doors and the Gala. After showing their tickets, they all were announced by a well-dressed pony at the front door. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her escort, Sir Flash Sentry, Captain of the Twilight Guard.” Flash blinked as he realized that he had actually gotten a title, rather than just being called Princess Twilight’s ‘plus one’. “Twilight?” Flash asked with a smirk as they waited for Twilight’s friends to be announced. “Yes?” Twilight replied in a cheeky manner. “Did you write Celestia to get me a title for the entrance?” “Maaaaaaayyyyyybe,” she said, giggling. “I couldn’t just let them ignore you, now, could I? Plus, I thought with a title you might get some of the respect you deserve, being the captain of my guard and all.” “True, so thank you,” he said with a bow. “Plus, maybe it will dissuade a few of the nobles from bugging me, which means I‘ll have more time to spend with my angelic date.” He smiled, which made Twilight giggle. “If you keep complimenting me, you’re eventually gonna run out of things to say.” “Not if I start quoting plays.” “You better not…” “‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’” Flash drawled in a horrible, horrible impression of… it was so bad, it appeared as if Twilight couldn’t even figure out what accent he was trying to imitate just based on the face she was making. She cuffed him in the back of the head with her wing, but she couldn’t keep from smiling. “You’re right, that was an impression of the nobles. My bad. Let me try again. ‘Doth Mother know… you wearth her drapes?’” That earned him another light smack. “Having trouble with your stallion, darling?” Rarity said, giggling at their antics. “I’m the one having trouble,” Flash joked, rubbing the back of his head. “Well, then, behave, and maybe I’ll give you a reward if you’re good for the rest of the night,” Twilight said, turning away with a grin. “Flirting, check,” Flash said, pulling out an invisible checklist and invisible quill in an imitation of Twilight. The alicorn shot him a deadpan stare, but the other girls laughed. “So what do we do now that we’re actually here?” “I’m gonna go find the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow said, taking to the air. “I’ll catch up with you gals later.” And with that, she was gone. “Ah better make sure she doesn't break somethin' this year,” Applejack said, trotting after the rainbow-maned pegasus into the main ballroom. “Ah’ll be around.” “I’m… gonna try the garden again,” Fluttershy said, glancing towards one of the side hallways. “I just hope the animals will be more understanding this year.” “I think I’ll join you,” Rarity said. “I hear Princess Luna has recently planted a spectacular variety of nighttime plants, and I simply must see them to get inspiration for my next spring line!” “I’ll come too!” Spike said, “I still need to show you two Princess Celestia’s golden apple tree.” Nodding in agreement, the three of them made their way towards the garden. “I’ll go disappear until the plot demands me,” Pinkie said, bouncing off into the ballroom. “Uhhhh…” Flash muttered, staring after her. “Don’t think about it too much,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “It’s Pinkie.” “Still not enough of a justification in my book, but to prevent myself from getting a migraine, I’ll take your advice,” Flash said, receiving an eye roll and a giggle from Twilight. Not having anywhere else to go, the two of them followed Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash and entered the ballroom. It was still somewhat early in the evening, but the chamber was already full of ponies in fancy evening wear, mingling and admiring the decorations, which were quite spectacular. Banners hung from the walls, streamers wound around all the marble columns, and there were dozens of flowerpots filled with plants in every color. Flash was pretty sure that the silvery-blue blooms releasing gentle puffs of white mist were Princess Luna’s specialty. The center of the ballroom had been cleared for dancing and a stage for the band set up right next to it, but there were a number of small tables off to one side. And, along the far wall, was a BUFFET! Flash’s mouth watered. Free food was the best food, and it didn’t seem to be that weird ‘fancy’ food he found in Canterlot’s restaurants. Surprisingly, Princesses Celestia, who was usually the first one at the Gala, had yet to arrive, but Princess Luna was near the stage talking to Fancy Pants. She wore a gown that looked like it was taken from the view of a telescope, and Flash swore that he saw some of the constellations actually moving. He glanced at Twilight’s dress and grinned. She still looked better. Bias, yay. However, his train of thought was interrupted as he saw someone he would have never believed would attend such an event. Or, at least, not attended it without the pure purpose of messing everything up. “Is that…Discord?” Flash asked, causing Twilight to turn and look for herself. Sure enough, the draconequus was standing nearby, dressed very similarly to Spike and having a surprisingly normal conversation with a light tan pegasus with a two-tone brown mane. Despite the fact that neither Flash or Twilight had ever seen the pegasus, she seemed to be on friendly terms with the master of chaos as she waved goodbye. “It is,” Twilight groaned. “Maybe he won’t notice us.” “Who won’t notice you?” a loud voice drawled in their ears. Discord was now right behind them. Even with his years of guard training, Flash couldn't help but jump. “Ugh, please Discord, not tonight, anything but tonight,” Twilight half groaned, half begged. “Oh you needn’t worry about me,” Discord said in a rather serious voice. “I was informed by Celestia about your little date, and, suffice to say, I would rather not have Rarity tear me to pieces for interfering with your date. Or Fluttershy.” He shivered. “Cotton candy have mercy on me if those two came for me.” “So, you’re NOT going to make this night chaotic for us?” Flash asked in surprise. “Not that I’m complaining, but you ARE the lord of chaos, right?” “Right,” Discord said, smirking. “But every time I’ve seen little Princess Sparkle here, I’ve been chaotic and crazy. But you see, that means it’s PREDICTABLE now for me to be chaotic. So what better way for me to change it up than to be…well, normal.” “That seems almost too logical.” Discord just shrugged. “Maybe, but what do I know about logic? Now, the reason I’m really here is because I am looking for Fluttershy. Or Pinkie Pie. Either one will do, really. Have you seen them?” “Fluttershy is in the garden,” Twilight began. “ And Pinkie…” “Said she had to go until the plot demanded her,” Flash said, causing Discord’s ears to perk up. “Oh she did, did she?” he said, pausing briefly to look at the reader and wink. “Who are you winking at?” Flash asked, looking over to where Discord was looking and seeing nothing but a wall. “Oh, no pony. Well then, I best go find out little pink ball of sugar and sweets. Toodles.” He snapped his fingers and vanished in a puff of smoke. The smoke then pulled out a top hat and proceeded to fly out the door they just entered, much to the bafflement of the nobles currently trying to enter the ballroom. “Well, that could have been worse,” Flash said as Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s just go get some food and hope he doesn't come back,” Twilight said, making a beeline for the buffet. “No mingling before eating?” Flash asked. Twilight shook her head. “The only ponies I see that I want to talk to right now are Luna and Fancy Pants, and they’re still busy. Well, them and you, but you get the point.” “Nopony else?” “They're not here yet. It’s still early. And I actually had to skip lunch today to get ready, so I’m STARVING!” “You skipped lunch?” Flash asked, surprised. “I mean, you look wonderful, but it really took that long?” “Yes. It was the mane, mostly. I usually ask Rarity to do it. In all my studies, I never really learned a spell for how to make myself more presentable. It was just… never really high on my priorities.” As she spoke, she grabbed a plate and began to load it with food. The buffet was massive, and all of it looked delicious, but Flash raised an eyebrow as Twilight grabbed ten Hay Burgers. He knew she liked to order at least five whenever they went to the fast food place in Ponyville, but this seemed to be a bit much, even for her. “No need to bother learning a spell to make yourself more beautiful if you look amazing normally,” Flash said, smiling as Twilight blushed and looked away. “I’m not that special,” she mumbled as they reached the desserts. “Yeah, you only fought an Ursa Minor, Nightmare Moon, Tirek, the changelings, Discord, King Sombra, and happen to be the most skilled magic user in multiple generations that was able to solve an unsolvable spell and become a princess,” Flash said jokingly, before gently brushing up against her and speaking in a much more caring tone. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Twilight was now the color of a tomato, but Flash could see a faint smile working its way onto her lips. Progress. With food in hoof, the two set off for the nearest table to enjoy their meals, though as they sat down Flash noticed with concern that Twilight had far more food than he did. “Twilight, are you ok? I know you skipped lunch and I don’t want to pry, but I’ve never seen you eat this much before, even when we had to skip lunch that one day to reorganize the library.” “It’s ok,” Twilight said, eating a Hay Burger in just two bites. “My magic now needs to keep up with unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony abilities all at once. Combine that with the fact that I am still growing, and I need to eat about double what a normal pony does. At least for now.” “For now?” Twilight nodded. She ate another burger, wiped the ketchup off her mouth with her fries, and ate those too. “Celestia and Luna need to eat about 1.5 times as much food as a normal pony, so once I get as big as them, I should be able to reduce my calorie intake without feeling like I’m always starving.” “Even if that’s the case, how come I haven’t seen you eat this much previously?” “Well, I usually snack throughout the day so my main meals are…a decent size.” “But I never see you snack. Do you just eat when I’m not looking?” “I just teleport the food to my mouth. Or my stomach if I’m in a hurry.” “Is that safe?” “Umm…it should be?” “Twilight,” Flash said, frowning at her. “Really, it’s ok. I don't do it often, and it’s only mild discomfort if I—“ “Twilight,” Flash said firmly, causing her to stop and look at him. “I won’t mind, and I highly doubt anypony else will if you need to eat more at dinner or lunch because you have a fast metabolism. Doing something dangerous like teleporting food to your stomach is unnecessary. The only ponies that may possibly care are the nobles, and if they complain, you can just say ‘I’m a princess, I eat what I want,’ and they can’t do anything about it.” He smiled gently. “Please don't do that anymore, ok? Or I might just need to tell Celestia.” Twilight nodded. “I…I won’t. Sorry to bring it up.” “No problem,” Flash said, now grinning. “Though I was serious about the Celestia threat.” Twilight pouted. “I’m not a little filly, Flash. I can take care of myself.” “Pretty sure we’re all foals compared to Celestia. I mean, she IS over a thousand years old. And just because you’re an adult doesn't mean you’re perfect or know everything. For example, did you know Celestia once got herself food poisoning?” “Wait, really!?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open. “Really. Apparently a diplomat sent her an expensive pineapple cake in the mail, but it got lost for a good month. But despite this, she refused to throw it out and instead ate the entire thing in one sitting. She was sick for a week. In fact, that might have actually been the week you girls had to go and talk to that dragon that was covering Equestria in smoke,” Flash chuckled as he remembered his second week on the job. “You mean to tell me that my friends and I were sent to go talk to the dragon not because of our skills, but because Celestia had FOOD POISONING and couldn’t do it herself!?” Twilight asked, trying not to let her jaw hit the floor in shock. “Crazy right?” “Oh, I am SO gonna have words with her about this,” Twilight grumbled as she moved to the desserts on her plate. “Princess Celestia or not, that is just ridiculous.” “He greatest weakness, CAKE!” Flash said dramatically. Twilight struggled to swallow her mouthful of ice cream before she burst out laughing. They were attracting a few sidelong glances and grumbles from nearby nobles, but neither really cared. By now, the ballroom was beginning to fill up, and a lot more nobles were beginning to enter. The dull muttering in the room had also risen to a moderate level of constant background noise. Not too bad just yet though. When they finished eating, the two ponies got up and deposited their plates in the nearby container. It seemed that Princess Luna had finished talking to Fancy Pants, so Twilight immediately began leading them over. “Princess Twilight!” a low yet annoying voice called out. “I demand to speak with you this instant!” Turning, Flash internally groaned as they came face to face with Bull Horn’s son, Money Bags. He was a unicorn with a golden coat and a slightly darker golden mane. His cutie mark was a bag of bits, or at least that’s what Flash remembered it being from all the time he appeared in Celestia’s court, and he was clearly annoyed (not that this was anything new). Or at least Flash thought he always looked annoyed. It was hard to tell since most nobles looked like they were annoyed about eighty-two percent of the time. “There’s no need to shout,” Twilight said, maintaining a calm outer mask. “Anypony is allowed to speak with me if they simply ask. Now what can I help you with?” “You can ‘help me’ by explaining why this…this PEGASUS is escorting you to the Gala!” Money Bags spat. “He’s my personal guard and I wanted to get to know him better. Simple.” “Simple!? You chose an uncultured commoner over a worthy noble suitor! He should not even be allowed to look at you, let alone escort you to the most important social event of the year!” By now Money Bags' shouting was attracting attention, and Flash frowned at some of the nobles’ smirks. Clearly, they liked seeing somepony try and chew out the newest princess that had been unyielding to their demands. “That is MY decision, not yours or anypony else’s,” Twilight said, now glaring at Money Bags. “And I certainly won't be taking a stallion who throws a fit just because I chose somepony better than him.” Money Bags stuttered for a few seconds as his face contorted in rage even more. Flash was not liking this. While Twilight still appeared calm, she had pressed up to him during the conversation and she was shaking. Out of anger or stress, Flash didn't know. He saw that Luna was frowning and making her way towards them, and while ponies were bowing and moving out of the way, Flash didn't know if she would make it over to them before things got out of hoof. But he did know he needed to do something to end this nonsense. Nonsense… that might just work. “How dare you claim that this—“ Money Bags began. “Ombole bombole bo,” Flash interrupted. Both Money Bags and Twilight blinked in confusion as they turned to Flash, who smirked. Even the nobles watching didn't know what to make of what he just said, and Princess Luna had also stopped and was looking at him questioningly. Flash winked at Twilight. Money Bags composed himself before growling at Flash, “Be silent you—“ “Bolemb omble bo” “What are you—“ “Bobole bom.” “Be quiet and let me—“ “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—“ “Bobele bo.” “Shut—“ “Ombole.” “UP!” “Bolo.” Money Bags paused, waiting to see if Flash continued. “Now—“ “Ombole bobble obla bomba boop,” Flash said in a rushed voice, ending with a quick boop on Money Bags’ nose. Money Bags’ right eye was twitching, while many of the nobles looked shocked that Flash was outwitting (or maybe out annoying) him by just spouting nonsense. Twilight was biting her lip, struggling desperately to not laugh. Even Princess Luna was covering her mouth to try and stifle her own giggle. Thankfully, before Money Bags could gather up his wits to try and speak again, a new, motherly voice called out. “There you are, Twilight.” All three ponies turned to see Princess Celestia herself made her way towards the group, everypony else bowing as she passed. Flash himself also bowed, partly out of duty, and partly out of reverence. She was dressed in a gown that made her look like a phoenix, reds, oranges, and yellows wrapping around her in a stunning display that sparkled like her mane. “There’s no need for you to bow, Flash Sentry,” Celestia said as she arrived, giving Twilight a quick embrace and smiling down at him. “Princess Twilight decided that you would accompany her, so please rise and speak with me.” “Of course, Princess,” Flash said, rising. “It’s a pleasure to meet with you, at least in a less formal setting than normal.” “This is less formal?” Celestia asked in a curious voice. “I thought it was supposed to be very formal. It is the Gala after all.” “Fair point.” “Princess,” Money Bags began, bowing as well, “Clearly you must see the problem here.” “I see no problem whatsoever,” Celestia said. “Twilight has brought a date to the Gala, and I must say I am so proud of you for doing so,” she added, smiling at the young alicorn. “You finally reached the next part of your lessons and began looking for love. I’m certain Cadence will be bouncing off the walls.” “We’re just getting to know each other,” Twilight said, embarrassed. “You might be jumping ahead a little bit.” “Maybe, but a mare can dream, can’t she?” Celestia asked teasingly. Meanwhile, Money Bags’ eye was twitching again. “But he’s just a COMMONER! He’s not even of minor noble blood!” “And what difference would that make?” Celestia asked, her voice growing a bit hard as she turned to face Money Bags, placing Flash and Twilight behind the folds of her wings. “Princess Twilight has judged him to be worthy of her time, and he certainly appears to be more of a gentlecolt then you.” Flash was happy to hear the princess defending him, but he still felt the desire to mess with Money Bags. Since he was out of Celestia’s sight, he waited until she finished her sentence, before leaning into the unicorn’s view, sticking his tongue out, and making his eyes go in different directions. Twilight nearly lost her composure again over his ridiculousness and Money Bags looked like he couldn’t decide which was worse: Flash’s taunting, or the fact that he was being taunted right under the nose of Princess Celestia. “He also appears to be better mannered than you, as you come here to harass Princess Twilight like a foal being told he can’t have a toy, rather then a mature adult.” Flash shifted his face so he now had his cheeks puffed out and his eyes were spinning in opposite directions. Twilight snorted, her legs getting shaky from concealed mirth. “And furthermore, nobility has no standing on who she is allowed to be with, and trying to shame and harass her into being with someone of ‘equal standing’ is highly unacceptable. In fact, I don’t think I will be inviting you back to the Gala next year, as you clearly can’t be trusted to act with dignity.” Money Bags gasped in shock, while Flash pretended to dramatically faint, causing Twilight to begin to tear up. “But-but—“ “No buts. This is my party, so I may invite who I choose. Now then,” Celestia said, turning back to Flash and Twilight just as Flash straightened himself up. She didn't react to the fact that Twilight’s face was now red from suppressed laughter. “If you will follow me, Twilight, I would love to speak with you and your date in privacy.” Twilight managed to nod, following after the princess as she turned to leave. Flash, unable to help himself, turned back one last time and waved to Money Bags while mouthing the words ‘bye bye.’ Somehow, Money Bags’ face got even redder as he tried to melt Flash with his glare. He was cut off when the three ponies waking away entered into a small side room reserved for the princesses. With a flash of her horn, Celestia coated the room in a soft golden glow. Before Flash could ask what she was doing, she spoke. “Go ahead, Twilight.” “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Twilight cried, falling to the side as her legs gave out, only stopped from hitting the floor by Celestia teleporting over a large pillow for her to collapse onto. “I…That…You…BAHAHAHAHAHA!” “Silence spell,” Celestia said, gesturing to the golden glow still covering the room. “Rather handy in my opinion, especially when dealing with nobles. Was taunting Money Bags while I wasn’t looking really necessary?” Celestia asked, smirking and raising her eyebrow, causing Flash to grin sheepishly. “S-Sorry, Princess. After everything he and his father have put Twilight through, I…I just couldn’t resist.” Flash was surprised when Celestia giggled. “It’s all right, Flash. I think your frustrations are justified, and judging by Twilight’s reaction, I don't think she minded. Also, call me Celestia. I’d like to think we’re on more even hoofing since you’re dating Twilight.” “It’ll be up to her if we date more than just this once, though I will admit I wouldn't mind having more less formal dates in the future.” “We’ll just have to wait and see then, but my point still stands.” “Very well then, Celestia,” Flash said with a grin as Twilight finally began to calm down enough to speak. “You doing ok, Twilight?” “I, hehehe, could kiss you right now, hehehe, if I could stand up,” she said, still giggling. Flash smirked and leaned down to give her a slight peck on the cheek as he helped her back to her hooves. “We’ll just have to take a rain check on that then,” he said as Twilight stopped laughing and blushed like mad. “Wasn’t that a bit forward, Sir Flash Sentry?” came Luna’s voice. She was standing in the doorway to the chamber. “Not at all. Nobles do that all the time, and I hear kissing somepony’s cheek is part of the greeting in Prance. Kissing her on the lips, now THAT is forward. But I am a gentle-stallion, and so I think I struck the right balance between forward and what is expected for this date.” “You make a fair argument, and thus I dare say I approve of you and Twilight being together.” Luna said. “Just be sure you don't do anything you regret, or else—“ “Luna,” Celestia playfully chided. “Don’t threaten the poor stallion. I’m sure he’s gotten enough of that from Twilight’s friends.” “I really have,” Flash said. “Especially Rarity.” “She wasn't that bad,” Twilight said, regaining a bit of her composure, though still not looking at Flash. “She threatened to tie me up and throw me to the Diamond Dogs until I learned my lesson!” Luna laughed. “Be thankful she said Dimond Dogs and not dragons.” “I think she expected Spike to handle the dragon part,” Flash deadpanned, prompting the Celestia and Luna to giggle and Twilight to nudge him with her elbow. “What? He is like a little brother to you, and aren't brothers supposed to protect their sisters?” “In that case, you may want to worry more about Shining Armor,” Luna said with a teasing grin. “Or have you not told him yet?” “I…didn’t tell him yet,” Twilight admitted, still avoiding eye contact. “I didn't want him and Cadence coming to either threaten him or to try and ‘assist’ me with the date.” “Downside of being related to the Princess of Love?” Flash asked, chuckling. “Yes, definite downside.” “Look at it this way; if this works out, you don't need to worry about her setting you up on blind dates.” “She wouldn’t—” “Princess. Of. Love.” “…Ok, good point. But that is still an ‘if.’” “Not convinced?” “I like to have all the data collected before coming to any conclusions.” “Just like any good scientist should.” “As much as I love hearing you two banter,” Celestia joked, a sly smile crossing her face, “We really must get back to the party. Although, if you’re looking for data, Twilight, might I suggest seeing how good of a dancer Flash is?” Twilight’s ears perked up and she gave a nervous laugh. “Oh no no no no, I think we can skip that part of the data. I mean, there’s plenty of other points we can explore and—” “Hey Twilight, will you share the next dance with me?” Flash asked. Twilight spun to face him, which was a mistake as it put their muzzles only a few inches apart. “But-but-but…” “Come on Twilight, how bad could it be?” “But-but I CAN’T DANCE.” Flash blinked in surprise. “Really?” “Her dancing is…interesting to say the least,” Luna said, smirking slightly. “I don’t think you’re helping, sister,” Celestia said, elbowing her sister playfully. “Well, good thing I can’t dance either,” Flash said, taking Twilight’s hoof and leading her towards the door. “Huh!? But then why—” “Are we going to dance?” Flash asked. “Because you’re a princess, so nopony can complain if you can’t dance. Plus, even if we mess up, the only thing the audience will see is dancing.” “But—” “Twilight,” Flash said gently, turning to face her as they reached the door. “Trust me. Please?” Twilight looked like she was having a monumental internal struggle, but she eventually gave a slight nod. Flash gave her a reassuring smile before pushing open the door to the ballroom. There were significantly more ponies now, and the band had begun playing a while ago. Twilight hesitated when she saw the crowd, but a gentle brush of Flash’s wing prompted her to continue. They moved through the crowd with ease and within a minute, they were on the dance floor. Once they were near the center, he turned to look at his date, who looked like she was about to have a panic attack at any moment. “Twilight,” he said, causing her eyes to shoot to his. “Don’t look at, or even think about, anypony else. Just focus on me, on us, and we’ll be fine. Ok?” Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the next song to begin. It had a moderate tempo and seemed to remind Flash of the wind, something that seemed to calm Twilight down slightly. Maybe it reminded her of Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy? He didn't know, and choose not to worry about that right now. His only concern was his date. Given Twilight’s anxiety, Flash took the lead for the dance as they moved to stand on their hind hooves. He started slow, helping Twilight establish her balance before moving into simple moves, swaying and stepping in time. All the while, he never let his eyes leave Twilight’s. Slowly but surely, they improved and began to speed up to match the rhythm of the music. Flash could feel Twilight’s vice-like grip relax, and with it, her breathing and posture followed suit. Feeling brave, Flash stepped it up a little by sending Twilight out for a small twirl, before bringing her back to his chest. He could see her dress spin and sparkle in a vibrant display as it swished around her legs, but his focus was still mainly on her eyes. The deep purple orbs stared back into his blue ones. There was still fear and anxiety in them, but it was being drowned out by a sense of excitement, and possibly other emotions. Flash really couldn't tell the specifics, but he did know that she was starting to have fun. Suddenly, Twilight slipped and began to fall backwards. Flash reacted without thinking as he spread his wings, using one to catch her and the other to stabilize the two of them. Twilight blushed, but smiled. Flash returned the smile as he pulled her back up, releasing her. To his surprise, her own wings spread out, and to Flash the message was clear. Breaking from what the other ponies nearby were doing, Flash and Twilight began to use their wings as a part of their dance, moving them in time to the rhythm. Sometime they would brush up against their partners as if they were another set of hooves. Flash even used his once or twice to send Twilight out for longer spins. The fear was gone now. The only thing he could see in her eyes was joy and warmth. Flash had no idea how long that song was. To him, it felt like hours. But it eventually came to an end as Flash pulled Twilight in from the final spin, prompting both of them to drop back to four hooves and bow to each other other in a finishing display. When Flash looked up, he was met with the smiling face of his date. But it wasn't a normal smile, it was the smile of somepony who, if even for a brief moment, had absolutely no troubles in the world. She looked even more beautiful this way. Both of them were startled out of their gazing, however, when cheers erupted around them. Finally breaking eye contact and looking around, Flash realized that the nearby dancers had broken off to give them some room, and they’d acquired a rather large audience. They had been so busy dancing neither one of them had even noticed. Thankfully, almost everypony that was watching them was cheering at their display, and Celestia and Luna were giving them approving smiles. There may have been some nobles on the outer edges that looked grumpy, but Flash didn’t let that bother him. They always looked like that. Alas, poor Twilight was now very nervous again, blushing and staring at the floor as the crowd cheered. Flash closed the distance once again and nudged her gently with his body. Twilight looked up, smiled weakly and took his outstretched hoof. With their little performance over, they made way for the other dancers returning to the floor as they moved towards the punch bowl. “And here I thought you couldn’t dance,” Flash said, smiling. “I usually don't such a good partner,” Twilight said, returning the smile. “Where did you learn how to do that? I thought YOU said you couldn’t dance.” “Never tried it before,” Flash said. “I was just imitating other ponies. Well, except for the wing thing, but that was still relatively simple. Being a guard means you stand at a lot of events, just watching everything unfold. Some involve dancing, others don’t.” “So you’re able to dance just by watching other ponies?” “It’s not like there’s a lot of things to do when you’re standing guard. I can probably tell you how many jewels are in the throne room door and how many panes of glass their are in each window in the glass window hall just because I’ve spent so much time there while being bored out of my mind.” “I certainly hope guarding ME isn't boring.” “How could it be? You’re far more interesting that an empty hallway.” “I would certainly hope so,” she said, elbowing him lightly. Flash stuck his tongue out, and was rewarded with a small laugh. The two lapsed into silence as they got their punch and sat down at another unoccupied table. As they listened to the next song the band played, Flash couldn’t help but glance at Twilight. While she now longer seemed as stressed as when the night began, there was something else that was different about her now. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her mind, and she was letting more of herself shine through a mask she wore. It was subtle, and maybe he was just imagining things. But to him, she had somehow become even more beautiful as the night progressed. It was like at the end of the dance, but there was just something…more. Okay, he was totally biased. But he really didn't care. As the next song ended, her turned to look at his date. “Hey, Twilight?” “Yes, Flash?” she said, looking him in the eye. “Would you…like to go for a walk in the garden?” “Sure. That…That sounds lovely,” she said, a faint pink rising in her cheeks. They made their away across the ballroom, doing their best to avoid the nobles before leaving the side door that let to the gardens. Both ponies took a deep breath as the door closed behind them. The night was clear, the air was fresh, and the loud chatter and music of the ballroom was now just a dull murmur. The moon shone brightly on the garden, illuminating the path and the variety of plants growing around them. There were far more then Flash remembered from his last visit, but that was probably because of Princess Luna. Rarity had said she had planted some new flowers, but he didn't realize just how many there would be. He wondered if that glowing purple one would look nice on Twilight, before realizing that he really needed to start focusing on things other than his stunning— And there his mind went again. Bad mind. Shaking his head to clear it, he began walking down the cobblestone path to catch up to Twilight — she was so mesmerized by the plants that she had taken off to investigate, not noticing that she was short one date. He caught up, but chose to stay quiet as she randomly spouted facts about the new plants around her, many of which she must have found in books because it was Twilight. Pinkie was right, she was adorkable. Especially at times like this. As they reached the central clearing of the garden about ten minutes later, the noise of the ballroom had faded entirely, leaving them to enjoy the soft sounds of the crickets and other nocturnal creatures that called the garden home. At some point, Twilight had stopped talking and had settled for leaning her head on Flash, not that he minded. Her mane was too soft for him to complain. However, as the two neared the gazebo in the very center of the gardens, Flash heard something. A sound that did not fit in with the rest of the sounds currently occurring in the garden. It was a high-pitched sound, almost like— “EEP!” Twilight squealed, and Flash reacted on instincts drilled into his head at the guard academy. He grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a hoof-sized rock flew over where their heads had just been at a ferocious speed and crashed into a nearby tree, remaining stuck in the trunk. Flash was immediately on his hooves, standing between Twilight and the attacker. And boy did he need to restrain himself as the enraged face of Duke Bull Horn rounded entered the clearing. “You really ARE an idiot if you think attacking a princess is a good idea,” Flash said, his face hard. “This wouldn't have even been a problem if you had just stayed out of it, you feather-brained nincompoop,” the duke spat. “Your job is to serve your betters, not to go off rubbing noses with royalty for political gain!” “Right, because my status is REALLY at the top of my priorities,” Flash said with an eye roll. He helped Twilight back to her hooves without taking his eyes off the duke. His horn wasn’t glowing, yet, but Flash wasn't going to take any chances. He had no idea what the duke’s skill level was, so it was better to be cautious. “Status is all that matters, not that a moronic commoner could possibly understand.” “You leave him alone,” Twilight defended, moving next to Flash despite his attempts to keep her behind him. “He’s far smarter and nobler than any of the ‘real’ nobles I’ve had to deal with, especially the ones like you.” “You be quiet, you spoiled brat!” Bull Horn yelled, causing Twilight to flinch and for Flash to growl in her defense. “Not only are you clearly unqualified to make even the simplest of decisions, but because of your stubbornness, my son had been permanently banned form the Gala!” “As he should be,” Flash said, lowering himself into a combat stance. “You and him give the word noble a bad taste in ponies’ mouth.” “I am the blood of royalty!” the duke roared. “My blood and the blood of all nobles gives us a standing you can’t possibly understand! WE are the backbone of Equestria, far more than you or that commoner standing beside you!” He thrusted a hoof at Twilight. “She doesn’t deserve her title, and tonight just acts as proof!” “You’re delusional,” Flash growled. “She deserves her wings more than any pony I’ve ever met. Especially the nobles. You think you deserve wings over her? You don't even deserve your title.” The duke recoiled as if he was slapped, but Flash didn't stop. “You’re just a bully who throws a tantrum whenever he doesn't get what he wants. You attack and yell because you know deep down that you’re nothing. “Twilight…” He draped his wing over her, trying not to grin as she jumped a little and then leaned into the touch. “Twilight is everything you wish you could be. That’s why you hate her. She’s smart, talented, funny, kind, and most of all, loved. Loved by her friends, loved by her family, and loved by almost everypony in Equestria. You WISH you had the talent and gifts she did. But you never will, because she’s spectacular, and you’re just a nobody with an old family name.” The duke looked so mad Flash wasn't sure if he could even move his face anymore. And Twilight…Twilight was looking at him in a mix of shock, admiration, bashfulness, and joy. Growling, the Duke opened his mouth and lit his horn, causing Flash to prepare to defend himself. But before Duke Bull Horn could continue, the plot demanded Pinkie. “THE PLOT DEMANDS ME!” Pinkie yelled, jumping off the nearby gazebo and throwing a pie, which hit the duke squarely in the face. As he stumbled back in shock, Pinkie pulled her party cannon out of her mane and slammed it down on the duke, shoving him in the barrel so deep that only his rear and back hooves were sticking out. As he flailed about, Pinkie turned to the still shocked Twilight and Flash and gave a sailor salute before firing. The duke flew backwards halfway across the garden, screaming like a little filly before he hit a floating backboard, fell through a basketball hoop, and into a large glowing trash can face first. A lid then slammed down on it and spun like a top until a satisfying click sounded through the garden. “IT’S GOOD FOR THE WIN!” Discord announced in a sportscaster voice as a small set of bleachers filled with Discords all cheered excitedly, some even holding up cards with the number ten on them. Now completely flabbergasted, neither Twilight or Flash could respond as Discord floated over and hoof-bumped Pinkie while the Duke raged in his metal prison. “Don’t you two worry about old Bull here,” Discord said with a smirk, patting the trash can affectionately. “I’ll let Celestia know what he said. And maybe the media. So go and enjoy your night, and maybe fall in love. Everyone knows there’s nothing quite as chaotic as love.” He winked before he, Pinkie, and the trash can all disappeared in a bright flash of light. “…I literally have no idea how to respond to that,” Flash said. “Both at what just happened, and the fact that DISCORD just saved our night. Seriously, how do I react?” “I’ll…get back to you on that,” Twilight said, shaking her head in complete confusion. “I think we should just pretend that never happened.” “Agreed. So, that walk?” “I'd love to.” And with that, the couple set off again. With the gazebo now tainted by the interruption by the duke, the two ponies moved on further into the garden until they came to another clearing. There was a small hill, which served as the perfect spot for them to sit down and enjoy the night air. They sat in silence, and while both of them had agreed to put the incident with the duke behind them, it remained stubbornly at the forefront of their thoughts. Flash was still very pissed off at the duke for spouting such nonsense, and even the knowledge that Celestia was about to find out didn't seem to calm him in the slightest. He still had this flaming ball of rage deep within his chest, and in all his life it had never felt so…intense. It was like a raging fire, and not even seeing the Duke humiliated in front of him could quench the blaze. However, feeling Twilight lean up against him again worked about as well as a pouring rainstorm on the heat. It seems they both had calming effects on each other. Who knew? “Flash,” Twilight asked finally. “What you said to the duke… About me… Did you mean it?” Flash smiled softly and wrapped her in his wing. “Every word.” “But what about all my mistakes? All my mishaps? I wouldn't even be a princess if it weren't for my friends…” “And I wouldn't be a guard, and almost nopony would be where they are now,” Flash said, squeezing her reassuringly. “We all get to our destinations with help from others. Whether it’s parents, teachers, friends, or even just a random pony offering you an act of kindness; they all helped us get to where we are now. It just so happens that yours helped you farther then you could have ever dreamed.” “But…” “No buts,” Flash said, spinning himself and his date so they were facing each other. “Everypony is always their own worst critic. Mistakes and mishaps are how we learn, and they don't make you any less special then you already are.” “Says you,” Twilight said, looking down, but Flash could see her smiling and could feel her relaxing as he spoke. “And your friends. And your parents. And most of Equestria. And Celestia and Luna. You’re not saying 1000 year old sun goddess of wisdom is wrong, are you?” “You mean the same sun goddess of wisdom that got food poisoning because of her sweet tooth?” Twilight asked slyly, prompting both of them to burst into laughter. As they calmed down, Twilight looked up at Flash again. “Also, I think we can add one more test to the schedule. I mean, if that’s ok with you,” she asked, ducking once again as she blushed. Flash scratched his chin in fake contemplation. “How about that pizza place near the Ponyville town hall this Friday?” “It’s a date,” Twilight said, beaming. Before Flash could respond, both stopped and raised their ears. Though a bit distant, they could clearly hear the sound of a new song beginning in the ballroom. Looking over, Flash realized that somehow one of the windows next to the stage had been opened, letting the music flow smoothly out to the garden. He also swore he saw Pinkie for a second, but he blinked and she was gone. Shaking his head, Flash stood up and offered his hoof to the lovely princess before him. “Another dance?” she asked playfully, raising an eyebrow as she accepted his hoof. “What can I say? I love getting lost in your eyes.” Flash said. Twilight blushed, but didn't look away. In fact, her smile seemed to grow. The two stood on their fore hooves as the song began in earnest. It was a far slower song than the previous one, but neither of them minded. Slowly swaying and twirling under the moon light, the guard and the princess danced. To them, the world just seemed to melt away. The only thing they could see were the eyes of their partner and the sparkle of moonlight on their clothing. They danced even as the song ended and another began, shifting perfectly to match the new, faster tempo, then again as another slow song played. But this last song was special. This song sung of stress, of struggle, of triumph, and of love. Flash didn't even realize how close Twilight was until she closed her eyes and planted her lips on his. Both of their wings shot out, Flash’s in surprise, Twilight’s in joy. But Flash quickly got over his surprise and returned the kiss, savoring the taste and feel of her lips. In the end, it would be the second best kiss she ever gave him. Author's Note Dating a princess checklist... Compliment her? Check. Engage in playful banter? Check. Have friends tease her? Check. Walk into event with her by your side? Check. Get food? Check. Tell her a funny story about her mentor? Check. Imitate Yondu from 'Guardians of the Galaxy' while defending her from annoying noble who always looks annoyed? Check. Get approval from her mentor/ motherly figure? Check. Dance? Check. Walk in the garden? Check. Protect and defend her honor? Check. Have the plot demand Pinkie? Check??? Get asked on another date? Check. Dance in the moonlight and kiss? Double check. Behold, a story so sappy you could make ten gallons of syrup from it. Or twenty orders of nachos if you think it's cheesy. This all started with me imagining Flash imitating Yondu, and then just sort of snowballed from there until you have the masterpiece before you. I will say though that this was actually really fun to write. As I said before, this also turned out to be a prequel to "Gone, But Not Forgotten" and I only realized it could be about 4000 words through it. That ever happen to anyone else. Also, BEHOLD! AN UPDATE AND A NEW STORY ALL IN ONE NIGHT! SURELY THIS MUST BE THE END DAYS! That or my editor is awesome and got them both back to me in the same night. Either or So enjoy, comment, give me advice, and let me know what you think
The Gala REWRITE (now with 50% more story, 20% more friends, 15% more Pinkie, and 100% more sassy narration)Flash Sentry straightened his tie one last time as he gazed at the mirror. He was wearing a sharp black tuxedo with a dark blue tie. His orange coat and blue mane had been washed and combed to perfection, and his teeth shone after a vigorous brushing. All in all, he thought he looked quite good. It was certainly better then wearing armor for the thousandth time. Plus, the suit was far more comfortable. Thank you, Rarity, he thought. He hadn’t been sure what to expect after twelve appointments with her and her sewing box, but she had been right — the black looked GOOD. Nodding at his reflection, he turned away from his mirror and trotted across his room in Princess Twilight’s castle and out the door, only to immediately face-hoof, go back in, grab the purple rose with no thorns that lay on top of his dresser, and leave again. Hopefully he wouldn't be that forgetful for the rest of the night. As he walked down the hallway, he tried to imagine what would happen tonight. He had never been to Celestia’s Gala, and, based on the stories he’d heard around the town and castle, he didn’t think he would have ever wanted to. In fact, he STILL wasn’t sure if he really WANTED to go. It sounded just as boring as any other social event he was forced to attend during his guard duties, and extra stuffy with all the nobles crowding up the ball room. But Twilight needed him to avoid the criticism showing up alone would bring, especially after what happened a month ago with Duke Bull Horn, and there was no way he was going to let her down. He couldn’t help but growl slightly at the thought of that stuck-up jerk. If Twilight hadn’t taken care of him, Flash would have LOVED to personally toss him out of the castle. The things he said were just so…so… Flash took a deep breath, held it for five counts, and let it go, hoping it would calm him down. It worked, a little. That was in the past, and tonight, Princess Celestia and tons of other guards would be there, which would hopefully dissuade the stallion from speaking about Twilight like that again. Hopefully. He was jostled out of his thoughts as he arrived at Twilight’s room. Well, this is it. The big moment. Sorta. He knocked on the door, receiving a quick call of ‘just a second’ from inside. When the door opened, any doubts Flash had were washed away as he tried to keep his mouth from hanging open and his wings from springing out in excitement. This night would be fine, and by Luna was he one lucky stallion! Twilight was breathtaking. She wore an elegant purple dress that seemed to flow with every move she made. It was covered in star designs that made it look like the beauty of the cosmos had wrapped themselves around her. Her mane was done in a style similar to the one at her coronation, and it seemed to shine with its own set of stars. She was blushing, which somehow only made her even more beautiful. “Well…” she asked, nervously, not making eye contact with Flash. “How do I look?” Flash blinked and said the only thing that came to his mind: “I think you might make Princess Celestia jealous.” Twilight blushed harder as her head shot up in surprise. “FLASH!” “What? You look spectacular!” he said, gesturing at her with his hooves. “I bet you are going to outshine everyone there, even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!” Twilight lowered her head and let out a sigh, muttering, “You don't need to exaggerate so much.” Oh yes, he did. Well, he WOULD, if there was anything TO embellish. “First, I’m not exaggerating. Second, as your date, it would normally be my job to compliment you and exaggerate. The only problem is that there is no way I can possibly think of exaggerating how good you look.” He smiled gently as he lifted her chin so her eyes met his own. They were beautiful, just like the rest of her. “Trust me, you. Are. Perfect…almost.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the purple rose he had nearly forgotten and gently slid it behind her left ear. “There, now you’re perfect.” She looked at him with wide eyes and bright cheeks, her mouth trying to form words but only succeeded in making her look like a fish out of water. It was priceless. Twilight quickly recovered, rolled her eyes, and lightly punched his shoulder as she finally got her blushing under control. “Ha ha, very funny, Mr. Romance. Anything else you need to do as my date?” “Engage in playful banter, maybe flirt with you, and make sure you have a good night so that I can ask you out again,” Flash said with a huge grin, trying not to laugh as he earned himself a deadpan stare from Twilight. However, he could make out the smile that was trying to work its way through. “Technically, you only asked me out because I was refusing to ask you out, given that I didn't want to force you to make up for my mistake, remember?” “But I WAS still the one to ask you.” Flash said as he took his place by her side and raised a wing to ask permission. Twilight gave a small nod and Flash dropped the wing across her back. It was much easier than holding hooves, especially as a pegasus. Plus, it enabled him to hold Twilight all the closer to him, so bonus. Her dress was smooth under his feathers and he could feel her wings twitch against him. “Besides, if this night goes well, maybe we can have a real date. One without nobles and all this pomp and circumstance.” “Even though I don’t really know if I’ll like you more than just a friend?” Twilight asked, twitching nervously. “That’s what dates are for,” Flash said, undeterred. “Think of them like research. You like research, right?” That earned him a silly smile from the purple princess. Victory. “Then I guess we’ll just need to see if this project requires multiple tests to reach a conclusion,” Twilight said as the two began to leave the castle to meet up with her friends. “I suppose so…” One month ago… Flash Sentry was, without any reasonable doubt, completely and utterly BORED! Seriously, how long could one noble talk about a freaking HOUSE?! He had been going for so long that Flash had enough time to count the number of panes in each window in the entire thrown room. Twice. And that was STILL. MORE. ENTERTAINING! Could the sweet embrace of death free him from this eternal torture? Or at least the slightly less sweet embrace of a piano falling on his head and knocking him out? Well, he couldn’t complain all that much. He wasn’t the only victim here - Princess Twilight was the one actually listening to this windbag, and he could tell she was not having fun. She was slumping in her throne, her wings were twitching, and her smile was ever so slightly strained. Spike was snoring in his own throne on the opposite side of where Flash stood. At least the little dragon was being spared this torture. Think Flash, he thought. There has to be something, ANYTHING you can do to distract yourself. Well, there was nothing IN the throne room. He would have even tried to memorize the crystal map (or was it the crystal table? He never asked) if it was actually activated, but nope. Oh, good Celestia, when he was this bored, sometimes he wondered how he even ended up in this situation. When did all this start again? Six…no, about five months ago, that was it. Shining Armor had selected him and a group of crystal ponies to transfer to Ponyville in order to serve as the Twilight Guard. Cool name, and as the name implied, they would be protecting Princess Twilight. While she had originally refused to have guards, despite the many, MANY cases she could have used them, the aftermath of the Starlight Glimmer Village Incident had led to Celestia, Luna, and Cadance all overruling her on the issue. Despite the importance of their task, the group was small, far smaller than Flash would have expected. They were only about thirty strong, but Shining Armor had said that this was mainly to allow Princess Twilight to get used to them before he expanded it. Smart idea, though what had come as a major shock to Flash was that he was put in charge as Princess Twilight’s guard captain. HIM! Was he REALLY the most qualified pony for this job? Thankfully, it actually didn't turn out too be too difficult. His primary job was setting up the schedule and positions of the guard, and ensuring that everypony was keeping up with their training. However, given the fact that Twilight had received no guards up until this point, Flash’s primary concern was making sure her castle was secure, as this was the most likely place that she would be attacked, if it ever came to that. The only problem was that Twilight was still stubbornly refusing to allow any more guards than the ones Shining had already sent, which meant that Flash didn't have enough guards to protect her AND the massive castle she now called home. Maybe the other princesses could have overridden her again, but they hadn’t. Maybe because they didn’t want to force too much on her at once? Flash didn't know. Unfortunately, because Twilight still didn’t think she even needed guards in the first place, no amount of reasoning, talking, or graphs could convince her to get more. Flash had tried for hours, but she had her own counter arguments AND her own graphs to combat his. Not even Spike could out-logic her on that front. As a compromise, Flash himself volunteered to be Princess Twilight’s personal guard. This way, he could be sure she was protected when out of the castle, and with the communication crystals from the Crystal Empire, Flash could call for backup should the need arise. That had yet to happen, thankfully, despite the crazy shenanigans that happened in Ponyville on a weekly basis (usually on Tuesdays). Plus, chances were that Shining Armor would NOT be pleased if something happened to his sister, and Flash knew from other guards’ stories what would happen if Shining lost his temper. As an unforeseen bonus, this arrangement also meant he had more time to talk with Princess Twilight outside of his scheduled duties. She was actually quite pleasant to listen to. Surprisingly for Flash, she had just as much interest in old legends and grand adventure tales as he did. The two had spent hours discussing them and sharing the ones they knew, and it really made Flash smile every time they just sat down to talk. Sure, when she switched the conversation, some of her more technical talk went so far over his head it might as well be making a trip to the moon, but it was still fun to listen and watch just how animated she was. Also surprising was that Princess Twilight had, on their first day, told them to just call her ‘Twilight,’ saying that she didn’t want the ponies who would be working so closely with her to call her ‘Princess’ all the time. This had been the first time a princess had specifically asked not to be referred to by her title, so Flash was immediately intrigued. Very intrigued. So intrigued, in fact, that it made him pay more attention to her habits and behaviors than he did for the other princesses. He had quickly concluded that she was actually pretty cute, and rather dorky. Brilliant observations there, Sherlock Hooves. Even MORE surprising (because apparently that was possible), Twilight was really taking the time to get know the guards on a personal level too. ALL of them. Celestia, Cadance, and Luna always accepted requests for time off for family events, but Twilight remembered when the guards’ family birthdays were coming, gave them pay bonuses, and scheduled vacations without needing to be asked. She even gave Flash an extra few days so he could travel to Canterlot and deliver his father’s birthday gift in person, an amazing gesture considering his father couldn’t walk due to a flight accident. AND SHE REMEMBERED THAT! It just served to make her even more awesome— “Thank you, Duke Long Winded,” Twilight said, breaking Flash from his daydreams. “I’ll be sure to consider visiting your family’s estate.” Did that mean…Could it be…? “Excellent,” the short stallion with a lime green coat and a dark green mane said, bowing politely and tipping his top hat. “I certainly hope to see you soon,” he continued, nodding and turning to leave. The moment he was gone, both Flash and Twilight sagged dramatically. Sweet Celestia, it was OVER! “Thank goodness,” Twilight muttered. “If I had to hear one more thing about his collection of clocks…” She sighed, slumping even further. “Please tell me that’s all,” she begged, looking at Flash pleadingly. Flash just smiled. “Yes, Twilight, he was the last meeting you had for the da-“ BANG! Flash reacted on his well-trained guard instincts, leaping on the table and blocking the princess from view before he even realized who was standing in the doorway. Then, when his brain caught up with his body and he registered the pudgy brown unicorn with the red and orange mane, he had to redirect his mental facilities to try and not facehoof in exasperation. OH, COME ON! “Princesss Twilight,” Duke Bull Horn thundered as he stormed forward, “I demand an audience with you this instant!” Off to the side, Flash saw that Spike (on the floor, oddly enough — Flash guessed that he fell off his throne when the duke came in) was frowning at the throne room’s doorway. A thick orange barrier was blocking the entrance. Two of Twilight’s guards were hammering away at it, but Flash saw a flick of a purple wing in the corner of his eye, and they stood down. UGH. As if this day could get any worse, Flash thought, but there was nothing for him to do but jump down and resume his position next to Twilight. As Bull Horn hadn’t directly attacked Twilight or any guards, Flash couldn’t justify throwing him out before he delivered his speech. Eh. He was sure it wouldn’t take too long before the duke shoved his hoof in his mouth. Bull Horn was, in Flash’s opinion, one of the worst nobles in Equestria. Some, like Prince Blueblood, were annoying, but at least they left you alone if you left them alone. This duke, on the other hoof, would constantly seek out and verbally attack anypony who didn’t give him what he wanted. Either that, or he would rant about his family crest - a lion head, which also happened to be his cutie mark. In the duke’s mind, he was the only one that mattered, and he would stop at nothing to make sure he got everything he felt he deserved. This had led him into no less than three confrontations with Princess Twilight. Make that FOUR. Many of the nobles assumed that Twilight had the same authority as Princess Celestia, whereas in reality she could still be overruled by Celestia or Luna. And maybe Cadance (he needed to ask about that one). Despite this, and the fact that her inability to overrule Celestia and Luna had been made VERY WELL KNOW, many nobles had STILL tried at least once to convince Twilight to undo something that had already been decided by the Solar Sisters. Not only could Twilight do nothing, but most of the time, she agreed with Celestia and Luna’s decisions. Seriously, who WOULD approve of cultivating poison joke for use in pranking powders!? That was insane! Then again, it was Bull Horn’s idea, but he digressed. This had led to more than one…awkward conversation. Not to mention plenty of wailing nobles, but they were always wailing about something. Bunch of big babies. It was probably the ONLY downside to his new job, ESPECIALLY when this windbag showed up. “Duke Bull Horn,” Twilight began, “please lower your barrier. I don’t know why you are here, but antagonizing my guards is not the way to push whatever your agenda may be.” “I wouldn’t need it if your ‘guards’ understood how to treat a REAL noble,” Bull Horn huffed, but he did as she asked…for once. Real noble, my flank, Flash thought, glaring at Bull Horn. If his pompous and self-absorbed attitude wasn't bad enough, he had a habit of talking down to Twilight, almost as if he believed that he was above her. Well, she would be miles above him even without a crown, in Flash’s opinion. However, before he or Twilight could reply to Bull Horn’s remark, a loud belch echoed through the chamber. Turning his head, Flash caught the end of the green fire escaping from Spike’s mouth as it condensed into a scroll with a small ‘pop.’ “One moment, Duke,” Twilight said, grabbing the scroll in her magic and unwrapping the red cord holding it shut. Two gold tickets immediately slid out and onto the crystal table (Crystal map? He would REALLY need to clarify that soon). “Ah, perfect timing, for once,” Bull Horn huffed, prompting Flash and Twilight to both raise an eyebrow. Flash recognized those as tickets for the Grand Galloping Gala, but what did they have to do with why he was here? Flash optimistically hoped it was because he had lost his ticket, but he highly doubted it, not with the duke’s history of audiences with Twilight… Please let it be that he just lost his ticket? “Why is it perfect timing?” Twilight asked, her voice carefully neutral. “Because it is exactly what I am here to discuss,” Bull Horn said, raising his nose into the air. “I don’t know nor care what a COMMONER like yourself used to do at the Gala, nor why you were even invited in the first place, but since Celestia deemed it fit to elevate someone as MUNDANE as yourself to the status of PRINCESS, you need an escort to the Gala. One that can make up for your lack of NOBLE blood.” Why did the universe hate him? Why couldn’t it use all that energy to torture this diluted moron? Because if he was about to say what Flash thought he was about to say… “And my son is the only noble capable of such a feat. As such, he is to be your escort for the Gala.” Oh, BUCK him. Bull Horn’s son, Money Bags, was just as bad as his father. The only difference was that he was far more likely to simply whine and throw a tantrum than to actually do anything of importance, which made him ever so slightly more bearable. Only slightly. Judging by the angry growl Spike was giving him, Flash knew he was thinking the same thing. Seriously, that had to be the most ludicrous and blatantly offensive demand Bull Horn had made yet! They very idea that HE would try to dictate who Twilight was to take to the Gala was so nonsensical, even PINKIE couldn’t come up that kind of idea. And she was literally the least logical pony Flash had ever met, PERIOD! Didn’t make her any less fun to be around, but STILL! “Duke Bull Horn,” Twilight said, her voice cold and her expression tightly controlled. “Who I take to the Gala is my decision, and mine alone. And seeing as I hardly even know your son, I’m afraid he will not be my escort to the Gala.” Well said, Princess. Tell him how it is. The duke scoffed. “This is a matter you should leave to those who know best, ‘princess.’” He dragged out the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “Not one to be made by someone who barely comprehends her new position.” Flash knew that Duke Bull Horn was oblivious to a lot of things, but did he really think he knew what Twilight’s new role entailed? He was just a loud, whining noble. It seemed a bit odd, and very egocentric, for him to believe that he knew more about Twilight’s new position than she did. More so than usual, at least. “I do know what’s best for myself, Duke,” Twilight said, her mask breaking slightly to let a bit of her anger show through. “And I think I know far more about being royalty than you do, so again, this decision is MINE.” But Bull Horn didn’t appear to be moved. In fact, he just seemed to be frustrated now. This dude needed to take a hint. “As if your mere months in power could compare to a lifetime of experience. This is the best option, for ALL parties involved, and you should be grateful that I am willing to offer you my son, someone capable of distracting from your…BLAND background.” Flash really hoped his face would freeze in that ridiculous expression. See how ‘noble’ he was then. “Duke Horn, for the last time, I will not, under any circumstances, be taking your son to the Gala as my escort,” Twilight said. Her tone was as cold as ice now and she glaring at the duke hard enough to bore holes in his horn. “And I’m telling you that there is no other option!” Bull Horn proclaimed, his nose still hoisted towards the heavens. “My son is the only one who can POSSIBLY be worthy to fulfill such an important role, and YOU. WILL. TAKE. HIM.” “I WILL NOT!” Twilight commanded. “YOU don't have the authority to decide who I take to the Gala, Bull Horn, just like you don't get to open a dangerous gem mine on protected land or start a lumber factory in the Everfree Forest.” The duke’s face twisted in rage, but Twilight did not break her gaze or even blink. Flash, meanwhile, had to revamp his struggles not to facehoof. He had forgotten about THOSE stupid ideas. Good Celestia, this stallion was an idiot. “You little b—” Oh HELL no! “Don’t. You. DARE. Finish. That. Sentence,” Flash snapped through gritted teeth, stepping forward. There was no way in hell he would let the duke use such language to describe Twilight, princess or not. “You may be a guest here, ‘Duke’, but that doesn't mean I can't kick your sorry flank out for insulting or harassing the princess.” “Keep out of this, you worthless airhead,” Bull Horn replied, only to find his mouth suddenly gone as Twilight lit her horn, her eyes glowing. Oh, you done messed up now, dude. Flash couldn’t hide his smirk as he stepped back and let Twilight go to work. “I DO NOT tolerate racial slurs in MY CASTLE!” Twilight thundered, the entire castle trembling. “Now you listen to me, and you listen well. I. WILL. NOT. Be taking your son to the Gala as my escort because I ALREADY HAVE A DATE, and if you do not drop this issue, I will make sure you NEVER RECEIVE ANOTHER GALA TICKET AS LONG AS YOU LIVE! “Now GET OUT OF MY CASTLE!” And with that, Bull Horn vanished in the flash of Twilight's teleportation spell, one that most likely left him upside down in the town’s fountain, if Flash read the little quirk of Twilight’s mouth correctly. Oh, how he wished he had a camera set up. Twilight’s eyes stopped glowing and she sank down into her throne before facetabling on the crystal map. Or, at least, she would have facetabled on the crystal map if Flash hadn't grabbed a pillow from underneath the table and slid it between her head and the tabletop. He had made sure to keep at least one pillow under the table when it became clear that Twilight would facetable after every audience with a noble. At least, this way, he could prevent her headaches from getting any worse. “Thank you,” she muttered into the pillow, releasing a long sigh. “Of course, Twilight,” Flash said with a nod, giving her a slight pat on the back. “At least he’s gone,” Spike said. “But I didn't know you had a date, Twilight.” “I don’t,” Twilight groaned into the pillow. “Which means when I show up at the Gala alone, he’s gonna just harass me even more and claim that I’m a liar. I’ll never here the end of this now, all because me and my big mouth.” She lifted her head and smushed it back into the pillow with a ‘whack.’ Frankly, Flash wanted to facetable himself after what had just happened, but he thought Twilight had that covered. “Then why did you say you did?” “Because I lost my temper and I wanted him to drop this stupid idea of his. But by doing so, I just made things worse for myself.” “Can’t you just ask somepony in town to go with you?” Flash asked. “You seem to be pretty popular.” Everypony in town seemed to love her…in the form of citizens loving their princess, at least. “Anypony I ask would just say yes because I’m a princess, even if they don't actually want to get to know me better. Who would say no to the honor of escorting the Princess of Friendship to the biggest event of the year? So how would I know if somepony was actually going with me because they liked me? Plus, if the pony thinks they have to say yes, I would be putting them under all this stress just for me, stress that would just be compounded because the duke is probably going to confront me at least once at the Gala! “And what if they say no because they don’t want to go with somepony who they think is crazy?” “Come on, Twilight, no pony thinks you're crazy,” Spike said. “Smarty Pants incident, parasprites, time-traveling-self-doomsday preparation—” Huh. Flash hadn't actually heard the story behind that one. He’d need to remember that for later. “Ok, so maybe you’ve had a few bad incidents,” Spike said, wincing, “but that doesn't mean somepony won’t say yes. And if that fails, you could always take Flash.” “HUH?” Dragon say WHAT NOW?! Both Twilight's and Flash’s heads whipped around to stare at Spike in shock. “I mean, he’s always escorting you into town and stuff as part of his job, so you could easily just say you wanted to get to know the pony responsible for protecting you a little bit better. It would be enough to at least show the duke that you weren't lying.” Flash opened his mouth the contradict him, but then stopped to consider Spike’s words for a moment. Twilight HAD said she had a date, so as long as she showed up with SOMEPONY, she should be fine. The duke would still be mad, but he was always mad. Heck, he was probably mad at the sun for waking him up in the morning. Hehehehe, ‘Celestia, I demand you turn off the sun!’ Oh, that would be a fun audience to witness. And Spike was right. He was seen so often with Twilight that it would be perfectly believable for him to be her escort to the Gala. But wait… This was the GALA. Even IF he was just an escort, it was almost certain that the nobles, or anypony else for that matter, would see him as something more. They wouldn’t just see two friends having fun together; they would see a couple going on a date whether they liked it or not. Actually, given the dress requirements, the fancy food and music, the dancing…it WOULD be just like a date. A really fancy one surrounded by annoying nobles, but still a DATE! Oh boy… Flash had only ever had ONE date before, and while not a BAD date by any means, it was…subpar, to be sure. So much so that when he had joined the guard shortly after, he had never tried again. So he had NO experience with this kind of thing, and the idea of trying to be a good date for somepony as amazing as Twilight was…frankly, a bit terrifying. But it was also a rather exciting idea as well. He actually liked spending time with Twilight, a lot now that he thought about it. She was smart, funny, talented, a bit dorky at times, but overall, just really fun to be around. In fact, now that Spike pointed it out, dating her would probably be really enjoyable, maybe even magical. Yes, dating the element of magic could be magical. Your detective skills are unmatched, Flash. He could actually picture what the date would be like at the Gala. He’d have a nice, fancy suit while Twilight would look stunning in whatever masterpiece Rarity could dream up. He would go through the playful motions of teasing and flirting with her, holding the door for her, pulling her chair out, complimenting her to no end, all the things a gentle-colt would do. They would laugh and have fun, so much so that even the nobles couldn’t ruin it. And when they danced, she wou— “Spike!” Twilight cried, pulling Flash from his thoughts. Oops, he’d gotten distracted. What was she saying again? “I can’t just force him to go with me to the Gala! That would be abusing my powers as a princess, and—” Nervous or not, Flash decided to take the chance. Here goes nothing. “Hey, Twilight, will you go the Gala with me?” Twilight tried to spin to face him, but only succeeded in falling out of her throne in shock. Flash winced. At least she fell in the gap between the table between the map in the throne, rather than smacking her head on the table. So glad the universe was here to help him a little, rather than just curse him, as per usual. “I…HUH???” “Would you…” Flash repeated, helping her to her hooves and pointing at her. “Like to go…” He pointed to the door. “To the Gala…” He touched the golden ticket on the table. “With me?” His hoof came to his chest. It was very hard not to laugh as Twilight sputtered and tried to come up with a coherent answer, her face bright red. “But-but-but I-I can’t ask you to, I mean you don’t…” Very, very hard. Biting his lip to keep from laughing, Flash gently covered her mouth with a hoof, making her purple eyes meet his blue ones. Dang, they were pretty… Focus… “Twilight, as your friend, I can’t let you be forced into going with somepony as horrible as Money Bags, or any other noble for that matter. Seeing you happy makes me happy, so I’m not asking you to go because you’re forcing me to. I’m asking you to go with me because I want to make sure you enjoy your time at the Gala, and because worst comes to worst, everything goes right back to the way it was when the Gala is over. Ok?” Flash gave her a soft smile. Twilight blushed and looked away. Ok, now she was just being cute. “O-ok,” she stuttered. “I-I would be honored to have you accompany me to the Gala.” “Cool,” Flash said, grinning. “Now I believe your friend Rarity makes suits right?” Twilight nodded. “Then I will head over there later today so I can get fitted, as I never thought of bringing a suit with me.” Obviously. He was a GUARD, not a BUTLER. “We can go now, actually,” Twilight said, still refusing to meet Flash’s eyes. “I need to pick up a book I lent her anyway, and it's been a while since I've seen her. We can catch up while she's taking your measurements.” “Can I come?” Spike asked very excitedly. At least he wasn’t outright drooling the way he normally was when he talked about the mare of his dreams. “Sure,” Twilight said, giggling at the little dragon as he leapt up to his normal position on her back. Flash didn’t mind the extra company. They could all use a walk after The Wild Bull Horn Storm, or whatever that storm of idiocy was. The present… As Flash and Twilight stepped out of the castle, they were saluted by the two guards stationed out front. Just a short ways away, Flash could see the rest of the Element Bearers and Spike waiting near the flying carriages that would be taking them to Canterlot. The sun was just beginning its descent, bathing the land in a warm orange glow and making the crystal castle sparkle in a brilliant display. Too bad we can’t stay back and watch the view together, Flash thought. Maybe another night. Because right now, Rarity was waving at them so furiously that she was in danger of cutting herself on her dress…or at least, that’s how it looked. She somehow had designed it to look like it had been completely cut from crystal. It was so twinkly that it could have blended in with Twilight’s castle, and Flash had the distinct impression it was trying to blind him. Flash examined the other dresses as they approached, if only to keep from seeing spots in his eyes for the rest of the night. Rarity must have made all of them, because while they were cut in the same style as Twilight’s, they were carefully designed to reflect the pony who wore it. That seemed to be a recurring theme in her designs. Applejack was draped in a gown all the colors of a fall forest, while Fluttershy shimmered like the wings of a butterfly. Rainbow’s dress was as light and flowing as the wind it was patterned after, and Pinkie…well, in true Pinkie fashion, she looked like a giant cupcake topper. They all looked amazing, but Flash thought Twilight looked the best. Though since she was his date, he was probably biased. Spike was there too, dressed in a black tuxedo just like Flash, only he also wore a top hat and carried a small cane. Flash thought he looked rather dapper, and the glances Rarity was giving him implied she did too. He waved as the couple approached. “There you two are. What took you so long?” “Pre-date banter,” Flash replied, grinning as Twilight rolled her eyes. The others all giggled at his answer. Thank you ladies, I’m here all the time. No, seriously. I live here. “I must say, Twilight,” Rarity began. “You look simply stunning. I knew my modifications would help, but I didn’t expect them to have quite this effect.” “Indeed she does,” Flash agreed before the blushing Twilight could reply. “But what do you mean by modifications?” “Enhancements, darling. This is not only her first Gala as a PRINCESS, but her first Gala with a DATE as well.” She smiled and winked at him. “I had to make her look her best, so I added a bit more flare by redoing the cosmos patters to be more FABULOUS. So what do YOU think, darling? Hmmmmm?” Rarity’s gaze was suddenly as sharp-looking as her dress, and Flash was vividly reminded of her threatening him during his suit-fitting sessions with her very long, very pointy needles if he even THOUGHT about mistreating Twilight. Granted, there was no way Flash would ever do that, but he was nonetheless very pleased when Twilight had caught her in the act and stopped her. At least, this time, he should be fine. He smiled. “While I always think she looks amazing, you’ve outdone yourself this time, Rarity,” he said, laughing a little as Twilight tried to hide behind his wing to block her red face. “An excellent answer,” Rarity said with a nod, and Flash relaxed slightly despite himself. “I think you might have quite the catch here, Twilight.” “Mmmm…” Twilight replied, still hiding. Flash hoped she wouldn't be this shy ALL night. As adorable as it was, he actually DID want to get to know her more. “Enough chit chat,” Rainbow said, flapping her wings impatiently. “Let’s just go already! I wanna talk to the Wonderbolts before they get surrounded by ‘nobles’ again like they did last year. I couldn’t even get a single word in.” “There’s also the rush we gotta worry about,” Applejack said, moving towards the second chariot in line. “Everypony’s gonna get there at once, so unless we wanna get bogged down in the mad dash inside, I suggest we get moving.” “Fair point,” Rarity conceded, nodding. Flash shrugged. He had no experience with the Gala, so he decided to just go with the flow on this one. However, he was surprised when he and Twilight were ushered to the first chariot on their own. Judging by the look of shock and confusion on Twilight’s face, he guessed she was too. When they looked questioningly at Rarity, she said, “A princess should enter first, and who better to escort her off the chariot than her date?” Flash thought she was enjoying teasing poor Twilight almost as much as he was. That, or she just REALLY loved trying to play matchmaker. Once they were all secure, the chariots lifted off the ground and made straight for Canterlot. Overall, the ride was only about half an hour and while still early fall, Twilight spent most of that time under Flash’s wing to avoid the cold wind rushing around them. Not that he minded. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Ever since Spike had brought up the idea of him and Twilight dating, Flash had been paying more attention to Twilight and her...well, her everything, really. She was strong and determined, just like any guard, and she would work to accomplish her goals and to overcome any problem. Yet she was also kind and understanding, always willing to lend an ear to others or assist them with their problems over her own. Despite her status, she would still participate in community events, or perform community services like reading to the sick foals at Ponyville Hospital. Her joy and excitement was infectious, even if Flash didn’t know why she was so excited. And yet she was humble, never overstating or overblowing her actions. She was willing to show her flaws and fears, reaching out to others in times of need… … Oh dear Celestia, he was in love with her. Or at least that’s what he thought those butterflies in his stomach meant, the ones that flared up every time she sat so regal on her throne, or read books so fast her eyes would blur over the page, or laughed with him over a plate of Hay Burgers, or stayed up until three in the morning reading with Spike draped over her back because he had given up trying to get her to sleep…But no, he couldn’t let these feelings overwhelm him. Not tonight. It was already a stressful night for her, and there was no way he was going to add to it. He would just be there for her, making her laugh and distracting her from whatever stupidity Bull Horn would throw at her. But right now, he needed to distract himself from how good it felt to have her snuggled under his wing, because that was NOT HELPING. He stared out over the countryside as they flew towards Canterlot, which, whaddaya know, was a pretty good distraction. He enjoyed the sight of the vast open lands shining in the waning sunset, and the look of serenity on Twilight’s face told him she loved it too. Maybe he could take her on a flying date to Cloudsdale on another perfect evening like this. The sun reflecting of her mane and eyes… Bad brain, bad. Focus… Before long, they were flying over the streets of Canterlot, which was decorated for the Gala. Even if most ponies couldn’t get into the palace, there were still plenty of smaller parties held by individual ponies as well. Flash had attended some of the less formal ones before joining the guard, and boy, were they chaotic. Not quite Pinkie-chaotic, but surprisingly close. It truly was a citywide event, possibly even an Equestria wide event, though Flash thought the small parties might be more fun than the actual Gala. Actually, if the Gala was open to everypony, would anypony new actually come? Or would they just stay with their friends at the smaller parties? Ehh, that wasn’t important right now. The castle itself looked far more impressive than it normally did. There were banners stretched between all of the towers and wrapped around as much of the building as was possible without blocking any windows or balconies. There were balloons tied to much of the outer walls and elegant flower displays lined the walkway leading up to the main doors. Lights also covered much of the outer castle, making the entire structure appear to sparkle in the last rays of sunlight. Just like Twilight’s mane… Focus… When they landed outside the large golden doors at the main entrance, Flash hopped out first and offered a hoof to Twilight like a true gentle-colt. His heart fluttered as she accepted his assistance, although she blushed again likely because the early-arriving nobles were watching the two of them. Nearby, some ponies were also whispering, while others openly glared at Flash, but he really didn't care. However, he could tell that Twilight did care by how much she was fidgeting, so he didn't hesitate to wrap his wing around her again as a makeshift shield. The nobles sniffed, as though they thought he was being too forward, but oh well, too bad for them. Twilight certainly didn't mind as she relaxed in his grip once again. He could get used to holding her like this… The other Element Bearers soon arrived and immediately gathered around them, buffering the couple from the rest of the nobles. Rainbow Dash in particular was giving them some pretty nasty looks. Flash was torn between trying not to appear too pleased as the other ponies squirmed and praying to the Solar Sisters that he never was on the receiving end of one of those glares. They couldn’t go inside right away because Rarity would. Not. Stop. Fawning over the castle, but once Applejack and Rainbow gave her elbows to the forelegs, everypony (and dragon) moved towards the front doors and the Gala. But then the universe decided it was time to spice things up… AGAIN! “What is the meaning of this?” a familiar loud and very annoying voice sounded. Flash couldn’t help it this time. He facehoofed and turned to the left, catching sight of Duke Bull Horn angrily stomping towards the group. Can’t we at least get INSIDE first!? he thought. Then at least the guards could THROW HIM OUT! Ok, maybe they could banish him from the grounds for causing a ruckus, but it would be FAR more entertaining to see him get thrown out. Especially if he ended up in another fountain. However, before Flash could move, he saw the rest of the girls interposing themselves between the duke and Twilight, and, by extension, him. He blinked, for a moment unsure of what to do. He settled for squeezing Twilight with his wing. If he needed to intervene with the others, he could. Bull Horn, however, snorted at the barrier in front of him. “Get out of my way. This is between me and that sorry excuse for a princess.” Flash bristled, rage making it’s way to the forefront of his mind as he made ready to storm closer and speak up in defense of Twilight. He was NOT going to let him talk about her like that, ESPECIALLY TONIGHT! But to his immense surprise, FLUTTERSHY beat him to it. “How dare you!” Fluttershy said, her usual quiet voice as hard as rock. “That’s no way to talk to Princess Twilight. She’s a kind, smart, and wonderful pony who earned her title in every way. So don’t you try and insult her like that, mister!” The duke actually took a few stamps back at that, and Flash smiled a little, thoroughly impressed. Nice one, Fluttershy. Hopefully, that— “Be quiet, you peasant!” Bull Horn thundered, puffing out his broad chest in her face. FLuttershy ‘eeped’ and backed away, shaking. Never mind. However, as Flash once again prepared to move forward and assist, this time Rainbow and Applejack took point. “Don’t you yell at her!” Rainbow yelled, flying right up to the duke and poking him in the chest. “She’s way better than some stuck-up jerk like you. And just because it’s a fancy party doesn’t mean I can’t kick you’re flank!” Can you do that anyway? Seriously, what’s stopping you? Twilight can probably pardon you for Luna’s sake! The duke returned the pegasus’s glare as Applejack moved up next to Fluttershy and draped a comforting hoof over her back. “What’s so great about bein’ a noble anyway?” Applejack asked. Bull Horn wheeled his head around to face her, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out were unintelligible stammers. The orange mare smirked. “If it meant Ah gotta act like you do, I’d much rather just stay the way Ah am, thank you very much.” “Oh don’t let him fool you, dear,” Rarity said, also stepping forward. “He’s no more of a noble then Prince Blueblood. Sure, he may have a title, but his personality is that of a raging Diamond Dog compared to that of a true noble pony.” Bull Horn’s right eye was starting to twitch now. Luna, it was getting really hard not to laugh at him now. “And at least Diamond Dogs have better breath,” Spike added, prompting a chuckle from most of the group. Ok, now Flash was really impressed, and he could guess Twilight was rather amused based on the amount of muffled snickering he could hear from his side. The girls and Spike had managed to turn a big shot like Duke Bull Horn into a stuttering mess who couldn’t even respond. He’d would have never believed it if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, and it made him smile. Also, rule one for dating Twilight: Don’t piss off her friends. Luna help him if he ever did that. But…wait…where was Pinkie? She wasn't with the rest of the girls, so where did she— Oh… OH BOY, THIS WAS GONNA BE GOOD. The duke was so focused on the four mares in front of him, he never saw Pinkie sneak up behind him and pull out something…fun. She then tapped Bull Horn on the shoulder. “Pardon me, my good sir,” she said, giggling at her own funny accent. The duke spun around, most likely to start shouting, only to squeak as he came face to face with a large cannon pointed directly at him. Pinkie was lying on top of it, her pose turning quite a few heads. “You wanted to insult my friends?” Pinkie said, her voice as sweet as sugar. “I think you will find your world to be a little more…pink, if you do.” Her smile was slowly turning more maniacal. Ok, rule two: DON’T MESS WITH THE PINK PARTY PONY! He would make sure to highlight, bold, and circle that one when he made his list. And yes, he WAS going to write a list. Twilight loved list… FOCUS… “I…that…you…” Bull Horn stammered, looking around in a panic. “GUARDS! Arrest that maniac for bringing a loaded cannon to the Gala.” Like that would work. This was PINKIE! Certainly she had a way out of this. As a nearby guard approached, Pinkie pulled out a set of papers from her mane and handed it to the mare in armor, all without taking her eyes off the duke. “I am a certified party pony, and this is my license to carry and use my party cannon to defend myself and my friends from sadness and frowns, which this stallion was attempting to force onto my friends.” The mare looked over the papers, nodded, and handed them back to Pinkie. “Everything checks out. Enjoy the party, miss,” the guard said before returning to her post. Huh. Of all the things Pinkie could have done, Flash wasn’t expecting it to be something so…tame…and legal. But whatever. The look of sure confusion and terror on the duke’s face was well worth it. “Y-You’re nuts,” Bull Horn stammered, pointing a hoof at the pink mare. Pinkie leapt up to her hooves and dramatically pointing back at the duke. “No, I’m CONDIMENTS! I’ve been promoted!” she exclaimed, prompting Flash and Twilight to both burst out in laughter. Oh, dear Celestia, she read WAY too many old comic books! It still didn’t make it any less funny though. What’s better, Bull Horn seemed to finally realize that this wasn't a fight he was going to win as he backed away from the posing mare before running away in full retreat. Flash took it back. If the rest of the night was like this, then BY CELESTIA was it going to be a fun night. Finally getting his laughter back under control, he watched Pinkie slip the party cannon back into her mane, because where else would she put it? Shaking he head, he turned to look at Twilight, who was smiling comfortably. “Thanks for that, everyone,” Flash said. “I think you just made this night all the better for us, right, Twilight?” “Well, it’s certainly better than having to wait half an hour for him to leave us alone,” Twilight said jokingly. “But seriously, thank you, girls. I don’t know what I would do without you.” “Think nothing of it, dear,” Rarity said, smiling proudly. “We couldn’t just let that buffoon ruin your night, now, could we?” The others voiced their agreement before Twilight swept them, and Flash, into a big hug with her wings. Flash would never admit it, but being squeezed up against his date like that actually made HIM blush. Not that he was complaining... After Twilight let go, thankfully without noticing his blush, everyone continued to the doors, laughing amongst themselves at putting the duke in his place. Flash wasn’t sure that they had seen the last of him, but what could he POSSIBLY do once they were in the Gala? Bull Horn may be a moron, but even HE wouldn't be willing to risk losing his status by messing up the Gala. At least, Flash hoped he wouldn’t be. Glancing at Twilight again, Flash decided to put Duke Bull Horn out of his mind. Making sure she had fun was all that mattered, and no amount of crazy nobles was going to stop him from doing just that. After arriving at the doors and showing the guards their tickets, they all took turns walking into the main entrance hall with him and Twilight going first. Said entrance hall had a large set of marble stairs directly facing the doors where Princess Celestia would usually stand and greet those who entered. Normally, she was the first one at the Gala and spent her evening at the top of said stairs, but her absence seemed to imply that she had yet to arrive. The ballroom was off to the right through another set of doors, but Flash was distracted from looking inside by the fact that Celestia wasn’t in her normal place on the grand staircase. Was she actually running late? Flash never though he’d see the day. However, before he could ponder it further, he was distracted again as he and Twilight were announced by a well-dressed pony by the front door. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her escort, Sir Flash Sentry, Captain of the Twilight Guard.” Flash blinked as he realized that he had actually gotten a title, rather than just being called Princess Twilight’s ‘plus one’. Though he had a pretty good idea who arranged it. “Twilight?” Flash asked with a smirk as they waited for Twilight’s friends to be announced. “Yes?” Twilight replied in a cheeky manner. “Did you write Celestia to get me a title for the entrance?” “Maaaaaaayyyyyybe,” she said, giggling. “I couldn’t just let them ignore you, now, could I? Plus, I thought with a title you might get some of the respect you deserve, being the captain of my guard and all.” “True, so thank you,” he said with a bow. “Plus, maybe it will dissuade a few of the nobles from bugging me, which means I‘ll have more time to spend with my angelic date.” He smiled, which made Twilight giggle. That just made him smile more as his heart fluttered. “If you keep complimenting me, you’re eventually gonna run out of things to say.” Hmmm, she had a point. Unless… “Not if I start quoting plays,” he said, grinning devilishly. “You better not…” Twilight warned, but her smile made it impossible for him to take her seriously. “‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’” Flash drawled in a horrible, horrible impression of…it was so bad, he didn’t even know what accent he was trying to impersonate. It appeared as though Twilight couldn’t figure it out either based on the face she was making. She cuffed him in the back of the head with her wing, but she couldn’t keep from smiling. So, success? Better try again, just to be sure. “You’re right, that was an impression of the nobles. My bad. Let me try again.” He cleared his throat dramatically. “‘Doth Mother know… you wearth her drapes?’” Twilight lightly smacked him again. Yep, definitely a success. “Having trouble with your stallion, darling?” Rarity said, giggling at their antics as she approached. He had actually forgotten about them for a minute there and hadn’t noticed them gathering around him and Twilight. “I’m the one having trouble,” Flash joked, rubbing the back of his head. Well, not really, but he was still the one being hit. Although her wing was really soft… “Well, then, behave, and maybe I’ll give you a reward if you’re good for the rest of the night,” Twilight said, turning away with a grin. OH HO! So she DOES have a playful side, rather than just a shy side. This momentous discovery made his wings twitch in excitement and his heart beat even faster inside his chest. But he would not be outdone. “Flirting, check,” Flash said, pulling out an invisible checklist and invisible quill in an imitation of Twilight. The alicorn shot him a deadpan stare, but the other girls laughed. He couldn’t help but wink at Twilight. “So what do we do now that we’re actually here?” “I’m gonna go find the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow said, taking to the air. “I’ll catch up with you gals later.” And with that, she was gone. At least she was consistent in her love of all things Wonderbolt. “Ah better make sure she doesn't break somethin' this year,” Applejack said, trotting after the rainbow-maned pegasus into the main ballroom. “Ah’ll be around.” And off she went too. “I’m…gonna try the garden again,” Fluttershy said, glancing towards one of the side hallways. “I just hope the animals will be more understanding this year.” Ah yes, Flash had heard about that little…incident. Though a stampede of animals would certainly be interesting. And maybe a little fun if they ran over Duke Bull Horn in the process. “I think I’ll join you,” Rarity said. “I hear Princess Luna has recently planted a spectacular variety of nighttime plants, and I simply must see them to get inspiration for my next spring line!” ‘See the sights, get inspired.’ That should be the castle’s new logo, Flash thought as he watched Rarity’s eyes start to sparkle with images of dresses. That or ‘Warning: gets overrun by magical entities once every six months. Magical panic rooms are here, here, and here.’ The second one was probably more accurate. Flash wasn’t sure what to make of that. “I’ll come too!” Spike said. “I still need to show you two Princess Celestia’s golden apple tree.” Nodding in agreement, the three of them made their way towards the garden. So all that left was Pinkie. “I’ll go disappear until the plot demands me,” Pinkie said, bouncing off into the ballroom. Uhhhhhh… “Uhhhh…” Flash muttered, staring after her. “Don’t think about it too much,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “It’s Pinkie.” “Still not enough of a justification in my book, but to prevent myself from getting a migraine, I’ll take your advice,” Flash said. To be fair, Pinkie HAD already pulled a party cannon out of her mane and produced legal documents saying she was allowed to carry it. His limit of ‘Pinkie shenanigans’ was probably reached for the night. The two of them followed Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash into the ballroom. It was still somewhat early in the evening, but the chamber was already full of ponies in fancy evening wear, mingling and admiring the decorations, which were quite spectacular. Banners hung from the walls, streamers wound around all the marble columns, and there were dozens of flowerpots filled with plants in every color. Flash was pretty sure that the silvery-blue blooms releasing gentle puffs of white mist were Princess Luna’s specialty. As they began walking around, he could see that the center of the ballroom had been cleared for dancing and a stage for the band set up right next to it, but there were a number of small tables off to one side. And, along the far wall, was a BUFFET! Flash’s mouth watered. Free food was the best food, and it didn’t seem to be that weird ‘fancy’ food he found in Canterlot’s restaurants. He pointed it out to Twilight, who had a similar reaction, and the two ponies unanimously decided to head straight there. As he began to move towards the buffet, Flash was surprised to see that Princess Celestia wasn't in fact not there yet. However, he could just make out Princess Luna near the stage talking to…was that Fancy Pants? He wasn't quite sure from this distance and while moving, but Luna’s dress hit his eye almost like a punch. She wore a gown that looked like it was taken from the view of a telescope, and Flash swore that he saw some of the constellations actually moving. He glanced at Twilight’s dress and grinned. She still looked better. Bias, yay. Also, focus…less staring at your date, more making sure you don’t walk into a random table like an idiot. The nobles have the stupidity covered for the night. However, his train of thought was interrupted as he saw someone he would have never believed would attend such an event. Or, at least, not attended it without the pure purpose of messing everything up. “Is that…Discord?” Flash asked, stopping and pointing so Twilight could look. Sure enough, the draconequus was standing nearby, dressed very similarly to Spike and having a surprisingly normal conversation with a light tan pegasus with a two-tone brown mane. Despite the fact that Flash had never seen the pegasus, she seemed to be on friendly terms with the master of chaos as she waved goodbye. Judging by the look on Twilight’s face, she probably had never seen her either. “It is,” Twilight groaned. “Maybe he won’t notice us.” “Who won’t notice you?” a loud voice drawled in their ears. JEEZ! Discord was now right behind them. Even with his years of guard training, Flash couldn't help but jump. He HATED when creatures did that. It was bad enough when Twilight just decided to randomly teleport into a room, but at least her spell made a ‘POP’ when it went off. “Ugh, please Discord, not tonight, anything but tonight,” Twilight half groaned, half begged. “Oh, you needn’t worry about me,” Discord said in a surprisingly serious voice. “I was informed by Celestia about your little date, and, suffice to say, I would rather not have Rarity tear me to pieces for interfering with your evening. Or Fluttershy.” He shivered. “Cotton candy have mercy on me if those two came for me.” Wow. Discord is actually AFRAID of Fluttershy and Rarity’s tempers? Flash could hardly believe it. I’ll have to keep that in mind for the next time he annoys me. But which one is scarier? Both could be terrifying if made angry. But, wait… “So, you’re NOT going to make this night chaotic for us?” Flash asked in suspicion. “Not that I’m complaining, but you ARE the lord of chaos, right?” “Right,” Discord said, smirking. “But every time I’ve seen little Princess Sparkle here, I’ve been chaotic and crazy. So, you see, that means it’s PREDICTABLE now for me to be chaotic. So what better way for me to change it up than to be…well, normal?” “That seems almost TOO logical.” Discord shrugged. “Maybe, but what do I know about logic? Now, the reason I’m really here is because I am looking for Fluttershy. Or Pinkie Pie. Either one will do, really, so long as I have somepony to talk to. Have you seen them?” “Fluttershy is in the garden,” Twilight began. “And Pinkie…” “Said she had to go until the plot demanded her,” Flash finished, causing Discord’s ears to perk up. “Oh, she did, did she?” he said, pausing briefly to look above and behind their heads and wink. Flash thought he might be winking to Celestia and Luna, given his height, but upon turning around he found nothing but a wall. “Who are you winking at?” Flash asked, looking back at Discord in confusion. “The reader.” “The what?" “Oh, never you mind. Well then, I best go find our little pink ball of sugar and sweets. Toodles.” He snapped his fingers and vanished in a puff of smoke. The smoke then pulled out a top hat and proceeded to fly out the door they just entered, much to the bafflement of the nobles currently trying to enter the ballroom. Ok, Flash was officially over his limit for crazy unexplainable nonsense now. He looked back at the wall again, just to make sure it wasn't broken from illogic or anything, but eventually just shrugged. It was Discord. Better off not trying to figure him out. “Well, that could have been worse,” Flash said as Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s just go get some food and hope he doesn't come back,” Twilight said, making a beeline for the buffet. Flash followed closely behind. “No mingling before eating?” Flash asked. Twilight shook her head. “The only ponies I see that I want to talk to right now are Luna and Fancy Pants, and they’re still busy. Well, them and you, but you get the point.” “Nopony else?” That was a surprise. Surely there must be someone else here that she wanted to talk to. Or at least plenty of ponies that wanted to talk to someone as amazing as her… Ok, seriously, FOCUS! “They're not here yet.” Ah, there we go. “It’s still early. And I actually had to skip lunch today to get ready, so I’m STARVING!” “You skipped lunch?” Flash asked, surprised. “I mean, you look wonderful,” Understatement of the millennium right there, “but it really took that long?” “Yes. It was the mane, mostly. I usually ask Rarity to do it. In all my studies, I never really learned a spell for how to make myself more presentable. It was just…never really high on my priorities.” As she spoke, she grabbed a plate and began to load it with food. The buffet was massive, and all of it looked delicious, and Twilight apparently thought so too as she grabbed ten Hay Burgers before moving on. Considering how often they went out for some, that was not at all surprising. They must have gone their at least three times a week for the past six months. And the— No, no daydreaming. Focus. “No need to bother learning a spell to make yourself more beautiful if you look amazing normally,” Flash said, smiling as Twilight blushed and looked away. Ah, there was the blushing he was familiar with. “I’m not that special,” she mumbled as they reached the desserts “I mean, there are some days I wake up with a scroll stuck to my face because I fell asleep studying. It’s just like how ponies think I’m perfect just because I became a princess when…I’m really not. I still make mistakes, I still need help sometime, and I’m certainly not as special as somepony like Celestia. I’m just…a regular pony.” A regular pony, huh? Allow me present you with a counter argument. “Yeah, you only fought an Ursa Minor, Nightmare Moon, Tirek, the changelings, Discord, King Sombra, and you also happen to be the most skilled magic user in multiple generations that was able to solve an unsolvable spell and become a princess,” Flash said jokingly, before gently brushing up against her and speaking in a much more caring tone. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, in your accomplishments or your looks.” Twilight was now the color of a tomato, but Flash could see a faint smile working its way onto her lips. Progress. With food in hoof, the two set off for the nearest table to enjoy their meals, though as they sat down Flash noticed with concern that Twilight had far more food than he did. He thought the Hay Burgers would make up most of her meal, but instead she had apparently kept grabbing more and more food while he was distracted with listing her accomplishments. She now had almost three times as much as he did. “Twilight, are you ok? I know you skipped lunch and I don’t want to pry, but I’ve never seen you eat this much before, even when we had to skip lunch that one day to reorganize the library.” Hoo boy, what a long day that had been. It took forever for his eyebrows to grow back. “I’m fine,” Twilight said, eating a Hay Burger in just two bites. “My magic now needs to keep up with unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony abilities all at once. Combine that with the fact that I am still growing and I need to eat about double what a normal pony does. At least for now.” “For now?” Would she need to eat MORE later? Did she have some form of alicorn puberty to go through?… On second thought, he didn’t want to know. Twilight nodded. She ate another burger, wiped the ketchup off her mouth with her fries, and ate those too. “Celestia and Luna need to eat about one and a half times as much food as a normal pony, so once I get as big as them, I should be able to reduce my calorie intake without feeling like I’m always starving.” “Even if that’s the case, how come I haven’t seen you eat this much previously?” “Well, I usually snack throughout the day so my main meals are…a decent size.” “But I never see you snack. Do you just eat when I’m not looking?” Wait, that didn’t make sense. How would she time that? “I just teleport the food to my mouth. Or my stomach if I’m in the middle of meetings or something.” “Is that safe?” “Umm…it should be?” Well, THAT’S not a good answer. “Twilight,” Flash said, frowning at her. It might be time for a lecture. Another thing Twilight loved… No, very bad brain. Go sit in the corner until AFTER the lecture… “Really, it’s ok. I don't do it often, and it’s only mild discomfort if I—” “Twilight,” Flash said firmly, causing her to stop and look at him. “I won’t mind, and I highly doubt anypony else will, if you need to eat more at dinner or lunch or during meetings because you have a fast metabolism. Doing something dangerous like teleporting food directly to your stomach is unnecessary. The only ponies that may possibly care are the nobles, and if they complain, you can just say ‘I’m a princess, I eat what I want,’ and they can’t do anything about it.” Insert Z-snaps here. He smiled gently. “Please don't do that anymore, ok? Or I might just need to tell Celestia.” Twilight nodded. “I…I won’t. Sorry to make you worry.” Well, lecture over. Back to harmless teasing in hopes of seeing her laugh or blush…or both. “No problem,” Flash said, now grinning. “Though I was serious about the Celestia threat.” Twilight pouted. “I’m not a little filly, Flash. I can take care of myself.” “Pretty sure we’re all foals compared to Celestia. I mean, she IS over a thousand years old. And just because you’re an adult doesn't mean you’re perfect or know everything. For example, did you know Celestia once got herself food poisoning?” “Wait, really!?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening and her mouth falling open. Oh, this was gonna be fun. “Really. Apparently, a diplomat sent her an expensive pineapple cake in the mail, but it got lost for a good month. But when it finally arrived, she refused to throw it out and instead ate the entire thing in one sitting. She was sick for a week. In fact, that was actually the week you girls had to go and talk to that dragon that was covering Equestria in smoke,” Flash chuckled as he remembered his second week on the job. Trying to keep a puking Celestia in bed while telling her not to worry about the smoke visible from her window was not something he ever thought he’d be doing in a million years. Too bad she didn’t put that in her letter to Twilight. ‘Dear Twilight, I ate rotten cake, and now have food poisoning. Please go get rid of this dragon covering our land in smoke while I am busy throwing up. Signed, Princess Cakelestia.’ “You mean to tell me that my friends and I were sent to go talk to the dragon not because of our skills, but because Celestia had FOOD POISONING and couldn’t do it herself!?” Twilight asked, trying not to let her jaw hit the floor in shock. Her expression was priceless. “Crazy right?” “Oh, I am SO gonna have words with her about this,” Twilight grumbled as she moved to the desserts on her plate. “Princess Celestia or not, that is just ridiculous.” “Her greatest weakness, CAKE!” Flash said dramatically. Twilight struggled to swallow her mouthful of ice cream before she burst out laughing. Her laugh was infectious, just like always, and soon he couldn’t help but join in. They were attracting a few sidelong glances and grumbles from nearby nobles, but Flash didn’t really care, and Twilight was too distracted to notice. By now, Flash saw that the ballroom was beginning to fill up, and a lot more nobles had joined the party. The dull muttering in the room had also risen to a moderate level of constant background noise. Not too bad just yet, though, so that was nice. When they finished eating, the two ponies got up and deposited their plates in the nearby container. It seemed that Princess Luna had finished talking to Fancy Pants, so Twilight immediately began leading them over. But then the universe appeared in an evil villain costume and produced a random antagonist! Flash was gonna PUNCH the universe one of these days. He didn’t know how, but hey, maybe Discord could help him. “Princess Twilight!” a deep and irritating voice called out. “I demand to speak with you this instant!” Turning, Flash just managed to swallow his groan as they came face to face with Money Bags, Bull Horn’s son. He was a unicorn with a golden coat and a slightly darker golden mane. His cutie mark was a bag of bits, (or at least that’s what Flash remembered it being from all his audiences in court) and he was clearly annoyed (not that this was anything new). Or, at least, Flash THOUGHT he looked annoyed. It was hard to tell since most nobles looked like they were annoyed about eighty-two percent of the time. “There’s no need to shout,” Twilight said calmly. “Anypony is allowed to speak with me if they simply ask. Now, what can I help you with?” “You can ‘help me’ by explaining why this…this PEGASUS is escorting you to the Gala!” Money Bags spat. Oh great, they were starting where they left off with Bull Horn outside. Someone PLEASE throw him out! Flash thought. They were inside now. It would be easy. Just find a unicorn, a window, and POOF, problem solved. “The two of us have gotten to know each other so well that when he asked me to the Gala as a date, I accepted. Simple.” “Simple!? You chose an uncultured commoner over a worthy noble suitor! He should not even be allowed to look at you, let alone escort you to the most important social event of the year!” Flash growled. He had MUCH more culture than this uppity nincompoop. At least HE knew how NOT to make a scene… No, laughing at the table DID NOT count as a scene. By now Money Bags' shouting was attracting attention, and Flash frowned at some of the nobles’ smirks. Clearly, they LIKED seeing somepony try and chew out the newest princess that had been unyielding to their demands. Celestia-damned idiots. Go find something better to do than watch me and my date. Seriously, this isn’t a freaking Hoofball game! “That is MY decision, not yours or anypony else’s,” Twilight said, now glaring at Money Bags. “And I certainly won't be taking a stallion who throws a fit just because I chose somepony better than him.” Flash would take that as a compliment and testament to his skills in dating. Even if said skills were practically nonexistent. Money Bags stuttered for a few seconds as his face contorted in rage even more. Oh dear. Flash was not liking this. While Twilight still appeared calm, she had pressed up to him during the conversation and he could feel her shaking. Out of anger or stress, Flash didn't know, but he HATED the idea of just standing by while she suffered. It made him feel both helpless and enraged. He saw that Luna was frowning and making her way towards them, and while ponies were bowing and moving out of her way, Flash didn't think she would make it over to them before things got even more out of hoof. He DID know he needed to do something to end this nonsense. Huh, nonsense… That might just work. Money Bags puffed up his chest. “How dare you claim that this—” “Ombole bombole bo,” Flash interrupted. Both Money Bags and Twilight blinked in confusion as they turned to Flash, who smirked. Even the nobles watching didn't know what to make of what he just did, and Princess Luna had stopped dead and was looking at him questioningly. Perfect. Flash winked at Twilight, silently signaling to her that the fun was about to begin. Money Bags composed himself and growled, “Be silent, you—” “Bolemb omble bo” “What are you—” “Bobole bom.” “Be quiet and let me—” “Obole bombele bob.” “Would you—” “Bobele bo.” “Shut—” “Ombole.” “UP!” “Bolo.” Money Bags paused after that, staring at Flash with his eyebrows raised as though waiting to see if he would keep going. Flash smiled dumbly and pressed his lips together. That seemed to be good enough for the unicorn. “Now—” “Ombole bobble obla bomba boop,” Flash said in a rushed voice, ending with a quick boop on Money Bags’ nose. Oh Luna, his expression was even better than Twilight’s, and that was saying something. This was FAR too much fun. Money Bags’ left eye was twitching. Many of the surrounding nobles looked shocked that Flash had out-witted (or maybe out-annoyed) him by just spouting nonsense. Twilight was biting her lip, struggling desperately to not laugh. Even Princess Luna was covering her mouth to try and stifle her own giggle. Suffice to say, Flash thought he had won this round. Thankfully, before Money Bags could gather up his wits to try and speak again, a new, motherly voice called out. “There you are, Twilight.” Oh, thank Celestia. Seriously, she was right behind them now. All three ponies turned to see Princess Celestia made her way towards the group. All the guests bowed as she passed, and Flash bowed as she drew closer, party out of duty, and partly out of reverence. She WAS still a princess, after all. She was dressed in a gown that made her look like a phoenix, reds, oranges, and yellows wrapping around her in a stunning display that sparkled like her mane. “There’s no need for you to bow, Flash Sentry,” Celestia said as she arrived, giving Twilight a quick embrace and smiling down at him. “Princess Twilight decided that you would accompany her, so please rise and speak with me.” Well, that was pretty surreal. Maybe she was more like Twilight than he thought. “Of course, Princess,” Flash said, rising. “It’s a pleasure to meet with you, at least in a less formal setting than normal.” “This is less formal?” Celestia asked in a curious voice. “I thought it was supposed to be very formal. It is the Gala after all.” “Fair point.” But at least he wasn’t standing there trying to impersonate a statue like he usually was when he was with one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. “Princess,” Money Bags began, bowing as well, “clearly you must see the problem here.” Better question, why are YOU still here? Seriously, you can’t be THAT stupid. “I see no problem whatsoever,” Celestia said. “Twilight has brought a date to the Gala, and I must say I am so proud of you for doing so.” She smiled at the young alicorn. “You finally reached the next part of your lessons and began looking for love. I’m certain Cadance will be bouncing off the walls.” Oh boy. Flash hadn’t considered how her siblings would react to the date. Please let Shining Armor be gentle. “It’s only our first date,” Twilight said, embarrassed. “Even if we do go out again, you might still be jumping ahead a little bit.” Hopefully she was right though… Focus…Plan future dates later. “Maybe, but a mare can dream, can’t she?” Celestia asked teasingly. Apparently Celestia like to make Twilight blush too. Money Bags’ eye was twitching again. Go home, dude, you not— “But he’s just a COMMONER! He’s not even of minor noble blood!” Yep, he is that stupid. Flash facehoofed. Good job proving the ‘commoner’ wrong, bud. Give yourself a cookie. “And what difference would that make?” Celestia asked, her voice growing a bit hard as she turned to face Money Bags, placing Flash and Twilight behind the folds of her wings. “Princess Twilight has judged him to be worthy of her time, and he certainly appears to be more of a gentle-colt then you.” Exactly. Thank you, Celestia. Flash was happy to hear the princess defending him, but he still wanted to mess with Money Bags. Since he was out of Celestia’s sight, he leaned into the unicorn’s view, stuck his tongue out, and pointed his eyes in different directions. Twilight nearly lost her composure again over his ridiculousness and Money Bags looked like he couldn’t decide what was worse: Flash’s taunting, or the fact that he was being taunted right under the nose of Princess Celestia without her noticing. And here Flash thought his face couldn’t be any more priceless. “He also appears to be better mannered than you, as you come here to harass Princess Twilight like a foal being told he can’t have a toy, rather then a mature adult.” Flash puffed out his cheeks and spun his eyes in opposite directions. Twilight snorted, her legs getting shaky from concealed mirth. Maybe Princess Celestia was wrong on that last point, a little bit, but eh, she was right overall. At least he wasn't throwing a temper tantrum. “And furthermore, nobility has no standing on who she is allowed to be with, and trying to shame and harass her into being with someone of ‘equal standing’ is highly unacceptable. In fact, seeing as you are one of the nobles who STILL refuses to cast aside your class prejudice despite me and my sister constantly saying it is despicable, I don’t think I will be inviting you back to the Gala next year, as you clearly can’t be trusted to act with dignity.” OH MY! Money Bags gasped in shock, while Flash pretended to dramatically faint, causing Twilight to begin to tear up. Seriously, who ever convinced him that the Gala was boring? This was awesome! “But-but—” “No buts. This is my party, so I may invite — and disinvite — whomever I choose. Now then,” Celestia said, turning back to Flash and Twilight just as Flash straightened himself up. She didn't react to the fact that Twilight’s face was now red from suppressed laughter, but Flash thought he saw her eyes twinkle. “If you will follow me, Twilight, I would love to speak with you and your date in private.” Twilight managed to nod, following after the princess as she turned to leave. Flash assisted her, but unable to help himself, turned back one last time and waved to Money Bags, mouthing the words ‘bye bye.’ Somehow, Money Bags’ face got even redder as he tried to melt Flash with his glare. He was cut off when the three ponies waking away entered into a small side room reserved for the princesses. With a flash of her horn, Celestia coated the room in a soft golden glow. Ummm… Before Flash could ask what she was doing, Princess Celestia spoke. “Go ahead, Twilight.” “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Twilight cried, falling to the side as her legs gave out. She was only spared from hitting the floor by Celestia teleporting over a large pillow for her to collapse onto. “I…That…You…BAHAHAHAHAHA!” Yay, he made her laugh. This night just keeps getting better. “Silence spell,” Celestia said, gesturing to the shimmering walls. “Rather handy, in my opinion, especially when dealing with nobles. Was taunting Money Bags while I wasn’t looking really necessary?” Celestia raised her eyebrow at Flash, making him grin sheepishly. Guess he wasn’t as sneaky as he thought. That or she really DID have eyes in the back of her head, just like his own mother. “S-Sorry, Princess. After everything he and his father have put Twilight through, I…I just couldn’t resist.” That, and hearing Twilight laugh so much made it SO worth any scolding he would get. Flash was surprised when Celestia giggled. “It’s all right, Flash. I think your frustrations are justified, and judging by Twilight’s reaction, I don't think she minded. Also, call me Celestia. I’d like to think we’re on more even standing since you’re dating Twilight.” Oh dear Luna, she WAS like his mom! “It’ll be up to her if we date more than just this once,” he said quickly, feeling his face heat up. It’s just warm in here, that’s it. Yeah. Right. “Though I will admit, I wouldn't mind having more less formal dates in the future.” ESPECIALLY if it meant less nobles. Sure, they were entertaining to tease, but he would much rather have a date without them constantly bugging him and Twilight. “We’ll just have to wait and see then, but my point still stands.” “Very well then, Celestia,” Flash said with a grin as Twilight finally began to calm down enough to breathe normally. “You doing ok, Twilight?” “I, hehehe, could kiss you right now, hehehe, if I could stand up,” she said, still giggling. !!! Flash thought he felt lightheaded for the few seconds after she said that. But he recovered very quickly as he realized the chance he had just been given. Well, since she offered… Flash leaned down to give her a slight peck on the cheek as he helped her back to her hooves. “We’ll just have to take a rain check on that then,” he said as Twilight stopped laughing and blushed like mad as she looked away from him. An appropriate reaction… “Wasn’t that a bit forward, Sir Flash Sentry?” came Luna’s voice. She was standing in the doorway to the chamber. Uh oh… QUICK! WHAT’S A GOOD EXCUSE?! UMMMMM! OH, I GOT IT! “Not at all. Nobles do that all the time, and I hear kissing somepony’s cheek is part of the greeting in Prance. Kissing her on the lips, now THAT is forward. But I am a gentle-colt, and so I think I struck the right balance between forward and what is expected for this date.” Please buy it, please buy it… “You make a fair argument, and thus I dare say I approve of you and Twilight being together.” Luna said. “Just be sure you don't do anything you regret, or else—” “Luna,” Celestia playfully chided. “Don’t threaten the poor stallion. I’m sure he’s gotten enough of that from Twilight’s friends.” Rule three: Don’t upset the princesses, especially Twilight. Probably a ‘NO DUH, MORON’ rule, but still best to write it down. “I really have,” Flash said. “Especially Rarity.” “She wasn't that bad,” Twilight said, regaining a bit of her composure, though still not looking at Flash. “She threatened to tie me up and throw me to the Diamond Dogs until I learned my lesson!” Come to think of it, why was that the first punishment she thought of anyway? Luna laughed. “Be thankful she said Dimond Dogs and not dragons.” “I think she expected Spike to handle the dragon part,” Flash deadpanned, prompting the Solar Sisters to giggle and Twilight to nudge him with her elbow. “What? He is like a little brother to you, and aren't brothers supposed to protect their sisters?” Wasn't that literally what Shining Armor’s cutie mark was? Protection? “In that case, you may want to worry more about Shining Armor,” Luna said with a teasing grin. “Or have you not told him yet?” Okaaaaaay, so Celestia had eyes in the back of her head, and Luna could read his mind. Flash was really going to have to call his mother after this. “I…didn’t tell him yet,” Twilight admitted, looking sheepish. “I didn't want him and Cadance coming to either threaten him or to try and ‘assist’ me with the date.” “Downside of being related to the Princess of Love?” Flash asked, chuckling. “Yes, definite downside.” “Look at it this way; if this works out, you don't need to worry about her setting you up on blind dates.” “She wouldn’t—” “Princess. Of. Love.” Twilight bit her lip. “Ok, good point. But that is still an ‘if.’” “Not convinced?” Flash asked, pouting exaggeratedly. His poor pride… Actually, no, forget his pride. That DID hurt a bit considering how he was feeling about her. But he had time. The Gala had just begun, so he could still prove himself to her before the night was out. “I like to have all the data collected before coming to any conclusions.” “Just like any good scientist should.” “As much as I love hearing you two banter,” Celestia joked, a sly smile crossing her face, “we really must get back to the party. Although, if you’re looking for data, Twilight, might I suggest seeing how good of a dancer Flash is?” Twilight’s ears perked up and she gave a nervous laugh, one that Flash couldn’t quite understand. “Oh no no no no, I think we can skip that part of the data. I mean, there’s plenty of other points we can explore and—” OHHHH! She’s afraid of dancing in front of all the NOBLES! Well, he could fix that. “Hey Twilight, will you share the next dance with me?” he asked. Twilight spun to face him, which was a mistake as it put their muzzles only a few inches apart. “But-but-but…” “Come on, Twilight, how bad could it be?” Flash said, somehow managing not to stutter like Twilight. Dang she was pretty... Focus... “But-but I CAN’T DANCE.” “Really?” “Her dancing is…interesting to say the least,” Luna said, smirking slightly. “I don’t think you’re helping, sister,” Celestia said, elbowing her sister playfully. And you are, Miss Teasing Motherly Figure? Flash shook his head. “Well, good thing I can’t dance either,” Flash said, taking Twilight’s hoof and leading her towards the door. “Huh!? But then why—” “Are we going to dance?” Flash finished. “Because you’re a princess, so nopony can complain if you can’t dance. Plus, even if we mess up, the only thing the audience will see is dancing.” Plus, if your dancing is really that bad, then you can just say your starting a new trend. Heh, that was a good one. He would have to save that joke for when she wasn’t so tense. “But—” “Twilight,” Flash said gently, turning to face her as they reached the door. “Trust me. Please?” Twilight looked like she was having a monumental internal struggle, but she eventually gave a slight nod. Flash gave her a reassuring smile before pushing open the door to the ballroom. There were significantly more ponies out there, and the band was well into a groove by now. Twilight hesitated when she saw the crowd, but a gentle brush of Flash’s wing prompted her to continue. He was right there, and would be with her the whole time. No nobles were going to stop him, and no distracting thoughts were going to mess this up. They moved through the crowd with ease and within a minute, they were on the dance floor. Once they were near the center, he turned to look at his date, who looked like she was about to have a panic attack at any moment. “Twilight,” he said, causing her eyes to shoot to his. “Don’t look at, or even think about, anypony else. Just focus on me, on us, and we’ll be fine. Ok?” Twilight took a ragged breath, but nodded, just in time for the next song to begin. It had a moderate tempo and a light, bouncing melody that made Flash of wind. Twilight closed her eyes and bopped her head to the music, learning the rhythm. A quietly amused smile spread across her face, accompanied by a long-suffering shake of the head that Flash knew she did whenever she saw Rainbow Dash showing off. Perhaps the breezy music reminded her of her friend? Regardless of what it was, it seemed like it was calming her down a bit. Good. Flash gently took the lead for the dance and they moved to stand on their hind hooves. He started slow, helping Twilight establish her balance before starting with simple moves, swaying and stepping in time. All the while, he never let his eyes leave Twilight’s. Especially because they still looked so beautiful. Slowly but surely, they improved and began to speed up to match the melody of the music. Flash could feel Twilight’s vice-like grip relax, and with it, her breathing and posture followed suit. Feeling braver, Flash sent Twilight out for a small twirl, bringing her back to his chest. He could see her dress spin and sparkle in a vibrant display as it swished around her legs, but his focus was still mainly on her eyes. The deep purple orbs stared back into his blue ones. There was still fear and anxiety in them, but it was being drowned out by a sense of excitement and…some other emotions. Flash really couldn't tell the specifics, but he did know that she was starting to have fun. Suddenly, Twilight slipped and began to fall backwards. Flash reacted without thinking as he spread his wings, using one to catch her and the other to stabilize them. Twilight blushed, but smiled, which Flash returned as he pulled her back up. To his surprise, her own wings spread out, and the message was clear. It was time to mix it up. Increasing their tempo, Flash and Twilight began to use their wings as a part of their dance, moving them in time to the rhythm. Sometime they would brush up against their partner’s as if they were another set of hooves. Other times they would move independently of their partner's. Flash even used his once or twice to send Twilight out for longer spins. The fear was gone now. The only thing he could see in her eyes was joy and warmth, and boy did it make his own heart flutter far more than it had all night. Flash had no idea how long that song was. To him, it felt like hours. But it eventually came to an end as Flash pulled Twilight in from the final spin, prompting both of them to drop back to four hooves and bow to each other in a finishing display. When Flash looked up, he was met with the smiling face of his date. But it wasn't a normal smile, it was the smile of somepony who, if even for a brief moment, had absolutely no troubles in the world. She looked even more beautiful this way. Both of them were startled out of their gazing, however, when cheers erupted around them. Finally breaking eye contact and looking around, Flash realized that the nearby dancers had broken off to give them some room, and they’d acquired a rather large audience. They had been so busy dancing he hadn’t even noticed, and it looked like Twilight was in the same boat. Thankfully, almost everypony who had watched them was clapping, and Celestia and Luna were giving them approving smiles. And all of her friends, save Pinkie Pie (guess the plot hadn’t demanded her yet, whatever that meant), were just outside their dance circle, leading the cheer. There may have been some nobles on the outer edges that looked grumpy, but Flash didn’t let that bother him. They always looked like that. Plus, they were probably just jealous. Alas, poor Twilight was now very nervous again, blushing and staring at the floor as the crowd cheered. Flash closed the distance once again and nudged her gently with his body. Twilight looked up, smiled weakly and took his outstretched hoof. With their little performance over, they made room for the other dancers returning to the floor as they moved towards the punch bowl. “And here I thought you couldn’t dance,” Flash said, smiling. Romance over, back to playful teasing. “I usually don’t have such a good partner,” Twilight said, returning the grin. “Where did you learn how to do that? I thought YOU said you couldn’t dance.” “Never tried it before,” Flash admitted. “I was just imitating other ponies. Well, except for the wing thing, but that was still relatively simple. Being a guard means you help guard a lot of events, just watching everything unfold. Some involve dancing, others don’t.” “So you’re able to dance just by watching other ponies?” “It’s not like there’s a lot of things to DO when you’re standing guard. I can probably tell you how many jewels are in the throne room door and how many panes there are in each window in the Hall of History just because I’ve spent so much time there while being bored out of my mind.” “I certainly hope guarding ME isn't boring.” “How could it be? You’re far more interesting than an empty hallway.” Especially considering how many fun and interesting adventures you get into on a weekly basis. Well, except for the monster attacks and disasters. Those were just annoying. “I would certainly hope so,” she said, elbowing him lightly. Flash stuck his tongue out, and was rewarded with a small laugh that made him smile. The two lapsed into a comfortable silence as they got their punch and sat down at another unoccupied table. As they listened to the next song the band played, Flash couldn’t help but glance at Twilight. While she still looked as beautiful as she did when the night began, there was something else that was different about her now. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her mind, and she was letting more of herself shine through a mask she wore. Okay, he was totally biased. But he really didn't care. He loved her, and seeing her like this just made him feel…well, he actually couldn’t put it into words. Turning back to the dance floor, Flash watched Twilight’s friends to try and distract himself. Rarity had apparently decided to humor poor Spike and share a dance with him, though, it was more like she was hugging him and moving in time to the music, given how much taller she was than him, but Spike looked utterly blissful all the same. Rainbow had actually been pulled into a dance with the Wonderbolt Soarin and looked even more excited than Twilight did when new books came in from the royal library. Though he had to admit he never actually thought he’d see Rainbow BLUSH. Well, first time for everything. Fluttershy was lingering at the edge of the crowd, looking too nervous to join in and dance, but as Flash watched, Applejack found her and pulled her out onto the floor. They stayed near the edge, where there weren’t as many ponies, so Flash had a clear view of Fluttershy smiling and giggling as the orange mare led her in some simple yet rather outrageous-looking steps. All in all, the girls looked like they were having just as much fun as he was. As the song ended, he turned to look at his date, who was watching her friends and grinning. “Hey, Twilight?” “Yes, Flash?” she said, looking him in the eye. Flash nearly lost his train of thought as those wondrous amethyst orbs met his own. The way they sparked in the light, the way they no longer held any hesitation, it made his stomach do flips that would impress Pinkie Pie. “W-W-Would you…like to go for a walk in the garden?” he stuttered, trying not to blush himself. “Sure. That…That sounds lovely,” she said, a faint pink rising in her cheeks. Why must she be so cute? They made their way across the ballroom, doing their best to avoid the nobles before leaving through the side door that let to the gardens. Both ponies took a deep breath as the door closed behind them. The night was clear, the air was fresh, and the loud chatter and music of the ballroom was now just a dull murmur. Quite the shift, but still rather welcoming. The moon shone brightly on the garden, illuminating the path and the variety of plants growing around them. There were far more then Flash remembered from his last visit, but that was probably because of Princess Luna. Rarity had said she had planted some new flowers, but he didn't realize just how many there would be. He wondered if that glowing purple one would look nice in Twilight’s hair, before realizing that he really needed to start focusing on things other than his stunning— And there his mind went again. Bad mind. Shaking his head to clear it, he began walking down the cobblestone path to catch up to Twilight — she was so mesmerized by the plants that she had taken off to investigate, not noticing that she was short one date. Not the first time she had left him behind since he had met her, but it was nice that it wasn't because she was reading and wandering this time. He caught up, but chose to stay quiet as she randomly spouted facts about the new plants around her, many of which she must have found in books because she was Twilight. Pinkie was right, she was adorkable. Especially at times like this. As they reached the central clearing of the garden about ten minutes later, the noise of the ballroom had faded entirely, leaving them to enjoy the soft sounds of the crickets and other nocturnal creatures that called the garden home. Twilight had stopped talking along the way to listen to some of the songs the garden creatures produced, including that of a cricket that had decided to jump on Flash’s nose. After a couple of minutes, her head settled on Flash as she continued to listen to the garden’s music. Not that he minded. Her mane was reaaaaallllllllly soft… FOCU—oh forget it… However, as the two neared the gazebo in the very center of the gardens, Flash heard something, a sound that most certainly did NOT blend in with the rest of the garden’s noises. It was a high-pitched sound, almost like— “EEP!” Twilight squealed. Flash’s instincts from guard academy kicked into high gear as he grabbed Twilight and forced her to the ground, less than three seconds before a hoof-sized rock flew over them at a ferocious speed. It crashed into a nearby tree with a sickening crunching of bark that made Flash wince. He turned his head enough to take a look and saw that the rock hadn’t broken through the tree trunk completely, but was embedded in the wood deep enough that he could just see the edge. Well BUCK, that was close, he thought as he scrambled to his hooves, hiding Twilight behind him. At that speed, the rock wouldn’t have killed Twilight, but it would have knocked her out. At best. The universe cackled evilly. Flash would have lamented the universe again, but he had bigger problems now. First of which… Just as he started scanning the plants near where the rock had come from, the enraged face of Duke Bull Horn entered the clearing. Boy, did Flash need to restrain himself so he wouldn’t knock the unicorn out with his own hooves. Seriously, what was WRONG with this family!? “You really ARE an idiot if you think attacking a princess is a good idea,” Flash said, his face hard. Understatement of the century right there. “This wouldn't have even been a problem if you had just stayed out of it, you feather-brained nincompoop!” the duke spat. “Your job is to serve your betters, not to go off rubbing noses with royalty for political gain!” … Seriously? How much more of this did he have to listen to tonight? “Right, because my status is REALLY at the top of my priorities,” Flash said with an eye roll. Maybe he could convince Celestia to lock this guy in a mental facility? Somepony like him needed to be locked in a padded cell for a few years to calm down. He helped Twilight back to her hooves without taking his eyes off the duke. His horn wasn’t glowing, yet, but Flash wasn't going to take any chances. He had no idea what the duke’s skill level was, so it was better to be cautious. “Status is all that matters, not that a moronic commoner could possibly understand.” Oh, DEAR LUNA! But then Twilight spoke up. “You leave him alone,” she snapped, moving next to Flash despite his attempts to keep her behind him. “He’s far smarter and nobler than any of the ‘real’ nobles I’ve had to deal with, especially the ones like you.” “You be quiet, you spoiled brat!” Bull Horn yelled, causing Twilight to flinch and for Flash to growl. If he wasn’t so focused on trying to keep Twilight safe, he would have decked this jackass three times already. “Not only are you unqualified to make even the simplest of decisions, but because of your stubbornness, my son had been permanently banned form the Gala!” “As he should be,” Flash said, lowering himself into a combat stance and ushering Twilight behind him again with his wing. “You and him give the word ‘noble’ a bad taste in ponies’ mouth.” “I am the blood of royalty!” the duke roared. “My blood and the blood of all nobles gives us a standing you can’t possibly understand! WE are the backbone of Equestria, far more than you or that commoner standing with you!” He thrusted a hoof at Twilight, his face getting more and more twisted by the second. Dang it, weren’t there supposed to be guards in the garden after the time Fluttershy drove the animals into the ballroom? WHERE THE HECK WERE THEY? Flash made himself take a deep breath. Not the time to freak out. Ol’ Bull’s doing that enough for the both of us. Looking at the duke more closely, Flash saw that his eyes were shrunken and bloodshot, his mane was a mess, and he was actually foaming ever so slightly at the mouth. Clearly, he was more deranged than normal, possibly in the middle of having a mental breakdown. He had only been joking about the mental asylum. Was that actually necessary now? Whats worse, it meant he REALLY needed to stay between the Duke and Twilight. If he was unstable, there’s no telling how his magic might reach should Flash try and fight him. Maybe if he mentioned Celestia, he could get through to him? After all, she did have the power to revoke his status, so maybe the threat of losing his ‘noble’ status would shock him out of…whatever the heck this was. It was worth a shot. Hopefully. “Regardless of what you think,” Flash began, trying to keep his voice level, “How do you think Princess Celestia will act when she finds out you attacked a fellow princess?” Flash would have continued, but apparently, he had chosen the wrong thing to say as Bull Horn literally caught ablaze in rage. His fur became white and his mane became literal red fire as his magic ran amok. It was so powerful Flash could practically FEEL the crazy flying off the duke’s horn. “SHE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE A PRINCESS!” the rage-shifted unicorn roared. “MY FAMILY SHOULD HOLD THE TITLE OF ROYALTY, NOT HERS!” Flash immediately backed off, pushing Twilight back from the raging maelstrom of magic in front of him. Not that she protested. “What the heck are you talking about?” Flash asked, now greatly worried for Twilight and himself. Trying to run or fly away might make the duke attack, and he wasn’t sure they could get out of the danger radius quickly enough. Maybe if he kept the duke ranting, the guards would SHOW UP ALREADY! “You really think we didn’t know there was going to be new royalty!?” Bull Horn bellowed. “We knew SIX MONTHS beforehoof that Celestia was going to be adding a new addition to the royal family. WE SAW THE SIGNS! THE PREPARATIONS! And when us nobles confronted her, she ADMITTED that she was looking of someone to promote to the status of PRINCE OR PRINCESS! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!” Ok, one, you’re nuts, Flash thought, shaking his head in disbelief. But keep talking. The duke kept his eyes fixed on Flash, but the more he talked, the more he started to pace. If he would just turn away… “I did EVERYTHING RIGHT! I utilized all of my resources, called in YEARS of political and non-political favors! I demonstrated that I was unwavering, powerful, connected, and CAPABLE OF RULING ALONGSIDE HER AND HER SISTER! I WAS THE ONLY CHOICE THAT MADE SENSE! THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD BE FIT TO RULE! AND WHAT DOES SHE DO!? SHE CHOOSES SOME COMMON UNICORN FROM SOME BACKWATER TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND GIVES HER BUCKING WINGS! “ALL THAT TIME AND EFFORT, AND SHE JUST GLANCES OVER ME! AS IF I DON’T EXIST, AS IF I’M NOT IMPORTANT! SHE SHOULDN’T BE ROYALTY! IT SHOULD BE M—” Now! The moment Bull Horn turned away, Flash closed the distance and sucker-punched the raving lunatic across the face. The rage shift ended, and the now much-less-on-fire duke tumbled across the ground like a rag doll. Who knew I’d actually need to use the Rage Shift Training I learned in guard academy? he thought as he shook out his foreleg, trying not to grin as Bull Horn’s eyes rolled in different directions. Now that he had knocked the duke out of it, the unicorn’s magic would be so scattered for a while that he wouldn’t be able to levitate a fly. Perfect. “You’re delusional,” Flash growled. “Celestia was never looking among the nobles for a candidate. It was only ever going to be Twilight. She just told you that she was looking for a candidate so you wouldn’t bug her about it, and because she knew that your obsession with it would lead to you keeping it a secret. That way, the news would never leave Canterlot, and Twilight would never find out.” Ok, most of that was just guesswork, but he had more important things to say anyway. “And even IF Celestia was looking for a noble to ascend, she would have NEVER picked somepony like YOU. Twilight deserves her wings more than any pony I’ve ever met. Especially the nobles. You think you deserve wings over her? You don't even deserve your title!” Bull Horn recoiled as if he was slapped, stumbling away from the pegasus as he tried to get to his hooves, but Flash didn't stop. “You’re just a bully who throws a tantrum whenever he doesn't get what he wants. You attack and yell because you know deep down that you’re nothing. “Twilight…” He felt her move to his side again, so he draped his wing over her, trying not to grin as she leaned into the touch. Forget not telling her how he felt. This idiot needed to know how amazing she was, and he wasn't going to hold back. “Twilight is everything you wish you could be. That’s why you hate her. She’s smart, talented, funny, kind, and most of all, loved. Loved by her friends, loved by her family, and loved by almost everypony in Equestria. THAT’S why she was chosen. Not power, not ego, but because she knows what it’s like to love others and to be loved. You WISH you had the talent and gifts she did. But you never will, because she’s spectacular, and you’re just a nobody with an old family name.” The duke looked so mad as he stumbled back to his hooves that Flash wasn't sure if he could even move his face anymore. Though that might just be because he was slowly getting a big ugly bruise from where he was punched. Good. And Twilight… Twilight was looking at him in a mix of shock, admiration, bashfulness, and joy. Also good. Growling, the duke’s horn sputtered as he tried to overcome the feedback from his rage shift. Flash ducked in front of Twilight, ready to put the duke in his place again. No matter how good the duke was at magic, he was practically helpless after such a big rage shift. Something Flash was all too happy to capitalize on. But before Duke Bull Horn could speak, the plot demanded Pinkie. “THE PLOT DEMANDS ME!” the pink mare yelled, jumping off the nearby gazebo and throwing a pie, which hit the duke squarely in the face. As he stumbled back in shock, Pinkie pulled her party cannon out of her mane and slammed it down on Bull Horn, shoving him so deep into the barrel that only his rear and back hooves were sticking out. As he flailed about, Pinkie turned to the still shocked Twilight and Flash, gave a sailor salute, and fired. Bull Horn flew backwards halfway across the garden, screaming like a little filly before hitting a floating backboard, falling through a basketball hoop, and landing in a large glowing trash can face-first. A lid then slammed down on it and spun like a top until a satisfying click sounded through the garden. “IT’S GOOD FOR THE WIN!” Discord announced in a sportscaster voice as a small set of bleachers filled with Discords appeared. All of them cheered excitedly. A couple even held up cards with the number ten on them in flashing neon colors. Now completely flabbergasted, neither Twilight or Flash could respond as Discord floated over and hoof-bumped Pinkie while Bull Horn raged in his metal prison. “Don’t you two worry about old Bull here,” Discord said with a smirk, patting the trash can affectionately. “I’ll let Celestia know what he said. And maybe the media. So go and enjoy your night, and maybe fall in love. Everyone knows there’s nothing quite as chaotic as love.” He winked before he, Pinkie, and the trash can all disappeared in a bright flash of light. Flash was pretty sure he heard his brain breaking in the silence that followed. “…I literally have no idea how to respond to that,” he said. “With Bull Horn, and the fact that DISCORD just saved our night…seriously, how do I react?” Ok, he was officially over his limit for ALL kinds of nonsense tonight, so much so that he was half tempted to just bang his head into the nearest hard object to try and forget it all. “I’ll…get back to you on that,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “I think we should just pretend that never happened.” “Agreed. So, that walk?” “I'd love to.” And with that, the couple set off again. With the gazebo now tainted by the interruption by the duke, the two ponies moved on further into the garden until they came to another clearing. There was a small hill, which served as the perfect spot for them to sit down and enjoy the night air. They sat in silence, and while he wanted very much to forget about Bull Horn, the unicorn remained stubbornly at the forefront of Flash’s thoughts. He knew the duke wasn’t exactly smart, but seriously? He TRULY thought some high and mighty jackass like himself would actually gain the title of PRINCE? He wasn't even fit to run a donut shop, let alone try and RULE A BUCKING CONTRY! But what pissed him off the most was how he viewed Twilight. She was so much more than just some ‘common unicorn’ before she ascended. She was Celestia’s personal student, a talented mage in her own right, and, oh yeah, SHE HELPED SAVE EQUESTRIA A GOOD THREE TIMES! MAYBE MORE! She was the obvious pick for a new princess, and if not her, then one of her friends would have certainly still fit the bill better than Bull Horn. Especially Pinkie. She might bury everyone in a nonstop supply of cake, but she would still make sure everypony had a good time, and she would DEFINITELY be better that the duke. Oh, what was he saying? ANYPONY would be better than the duke. Flash took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh, trying to let go of the rage that filled him. He had been mad before, sure, but his anger had never quite felt so…intense. It was like a raging fire, and not even seeing the duke humiliated in front of him could quench the blaze. However, feeling Twilight lean up against him again worked about as well as a pouring rainstorm on the heat. The only thing that mattered was that she was ok, and that the raving lunatic was going to get what was coming to him. He hoped Twilight wouldn’t let Bull Horn’s words get to her. But if they did, he would make sure to comfort her as best he could. “Flash,” Twilight asked. “What you said to the duke…about me…Did you mean it?” Ah, speak of the devil. Flash smiled softly and wrapped her in his wing. “Every word.” “But what about all my mistakes? All my mishaps? I wouldn't even be a princess if it weren't for my friends…” “And I wouldn't be a guard, and almost nopony would be where they are now,” Flash said, squeezing her reassuringly. “Everypony gets help from others. It just so happens that yours helped you farther then you could have ever dreamed. But that doesn’t mean your accomplishments are any less important.” “But…” “No buts,” Flash said, spinning himself and his date so they were facing each other. Wow, she looked even more beautiful in the moonlight… Focus, Flash…Comfort now, admire later. “Everypony is always their own worst critic. Mistakes and mishaps are how we learn, and they don't make you any less special then you already are.” “Says you,” Twilight said, looking down, but that wasn’t all Flash had to convince her. “And your friends. And your parents. And most of Equestria. And Celestia and Luna. You’re not saying the thousand-year-old sun goddess of wisdom is wrong, are you?” “You mean the same sun goddess of wisdom that got food poisoning because of her sweet tooth?” Twilight asked slyly, prompting both of them to burst into laughter. She had him there, but the fact that he got her to laugh was a major victory in itself after what had just happened. Dear Celestia did he love Twilight’s laugh. As they calmed down, Twilight looked up at Flash again. “Thank you Flash. That…means a lot to me. Also, I think we can add at least one more test to the schedule. I mean, if that’s ok with you?” She ducked her head again and blushed. How could he say no to that face? He couldn’t, simple as that. Flash smiled. “How about that pizza place near the Ponyville town hall this Friday?” “It’s a date,” Twilight said, beaming. Before Flash could say anything else, a new noise reached their ears. Though a bit distant, they could clearly hear the sound of a song from in the ballroom. Looking over, Flash realized that somehow one of the windows next to the stage had been opened, letting the music flow smoothly out to the garden. He also swore he saw Pinkie for a second, but he blinked and she was gone. Was she… eh, it doesn’t matter. Shaking his head, Flash stood up and offered his hoof to the lovely princess before him. “Another dance?” she asked playfully, raising an eyebrow as she accepted his hoof. “What can I say? I love getting lost in your eyes.” Flash said. Twilight giggled, but didn't look away. In fact, her smile seemed to grow. Another success. The two stood on their forehooves as the song began in earnest. It was a far slower song than their first dance, but Twilight didn’t seem to mind. Slowly swaying and twirling under the stars, the guard and the princess danced. The world just seemed to melt away for Flash. The only thing he could see was the eyes of his partner and the sparkle of moonlight on her clothing. She truly was perfect. They danced even as the song ended and another began, shifting perfectly to match the faster tempo, then again as another slow song played. But this last song was special. This song sung of stress, of struggle, of triumph, and of love. Flash didn't even realize how close Twilight was until she closed her eyes and planted her lips on his. Both of their wings shot out, Flash’s in surprise, Twilight’s in joy. But Flash quickly got over his surprise and returned the kiss, savoring the taste and feel of her lips. As they broke away, both of them whispered what had been on their minds all that night. “I love you…” In the end, it would be the second best kiss she ever gave him. Author's Note At long last, it is done. I love my original story, I really do, but this? THIS is the result of me working my hands off to improve every little thing I can. This, is without a doubt, the best story I have. Maybe I can write one better later on, but for now, THIS. IS. IT. Enjoy, and a super special ultra thank you to my Editor/Girlfriend for all her hard work in helping me make this happen 💖💖💖💖💖💛💚💙💜💝 Also, subtle reference to Freedom Shall Ring is totally, 100%, subtle (said no one who has read the story)
