A Hollow in Rainbow Sand

So, I'm awake. I honestly almost hoped I wouldn't be. Oh well, at least I get a new start out of it, I hope.

It takes me a couple of seconds to notice I'm falling.I'm nowhere near the ground though, so I'm fine. Huh, I must be channeling Ulquiorra here.

That is not like me. Let's see if I can meditate and get those memories sor-

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG! THE PAIN! IT'S TOO MUCH! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

At that point, my soul was forced out of my body. I must have died. I watched as my body fell through the atmosphere, burning, and healing due to Ulquiorra's regeneration, and the pain just didn't stop. I watched in horror, as what used to be my body crashed to the ground, practically liquefied.

In disgust, I watched myself being rebuilt, Becoming unhealthily thin as the atmosphere burned off most of my body fat. I couldn't watch anymore, so I turned to look around.

Okay, so...Where am I? Let's see...

Hmmmm, scary trees over there...Scary trees over here...Scary trees to my right, scary trees to my left... A stone castle dead ahead- Wait back up a minute! Stone castle?!?

I looked back and sure enough, there was a stone castle not too far from where I landed. It seemed to be on high alert, I wonder why-Oh. Right. Something falling from the sky and landing very close to their home? Of course they're going to f^*&ing panic, dumbass.

With a sigh, I watched as two women who I could not see clearly lead what looks like a platoon of guards to my body.

And there they are. One of the guards comes up and checks my pulse, even though I have a hollow hole. And he calls it. Just as they are about to turn around, I start feeling myself be pulled towards my body. Well, I guess it's time to make an entrance, heh heh heh...

Princess Celestia and her sister Luna had seen a lot of things in their time. They had seen the harshness of war, felt the harmony of peace, and even faced off against a user of the darkest magics known to Pony-kind in the form of Queen Umbra.

As such, they could be forgiven for thinking that nothing would surprise them anymore. But nothing could have prepared them for the sight they now beheld.

A being had fallen from the sky, a being that the captain of the guard had declared dead. A being that was very clearly moaning!

"Ugh...I HATE it when that happens!" Said being exclaimed in a masculine tone. He slowly stood and cracked his neck twice, before putting a hand on one shoulder and rolling his arm.

The guards were quick to recover from their shock and get between this being and the princesses.

"Halt! Who are you, and why have you come to the Castle of the Two Sisters?" The captain asked.

"Pipe down Sargent Hardass!" The being replied as he continued to do what the ponies now recognized as stretches, "I have a headache and need to get my blood pumping or else I'll lock up. Can't have that now can we?"

The captain growled and ordered the platoon to attack.

'Oh boy, here we go...' I thought as I stepped aside and turned to face the guard who had tried to hit me with a vertical slash.

"Dude, that was a stupid move." I said as I kneed him in the gut and hit him between the shoulder blades to knock the wind out of him. He collapsed to the ground and I picked up his sword.

"Geeze, a gold sword? Really?" I asked in exasperation as I used the sword to deflect a spear thrust so that it intercepted a battle-ax coming down on me from behind, "Seriously? All of your weapons are made of gold?!?"

I grabbed the two guards' heads and slammed them together. After knocking them out, I removed one of the helmets and examined it, "What the hell?!? Good f*&^ing lord...Gold armor too?!?"

I threw the helmet and nailed an archer who was about to take his shot. He turned slightly in pain, and the arrow instead flew right in front of a horned one's face as the horn glowed with magic energy. It surprised him enough that whatever spell he was going to cast blew up in his face, taking out him and a few of the other guards around him.

"I mean I get it, gold is easy to enchant..." I continued as I ducked under a war hammer's swing, "But it's also not very durable. In fact, if not enchanted, Then gold is absolutely useless in weapons and armor." The hammer hit another guard who was charging at me. I firmly planted my hands on the ground and did a kangaroo kick to the guy with the hammer, Hitting him, as with the first guard, in the gut.

And so it had come full circle. All of the guards were laying on the ground, moaning in pain. I shook my head and 'tsk'ed at them.

"Really now, whoever trained you was an idiot. None of you really kept track of each other in the slightest. I hardly had to do anything." I complained as I bent down and flicked the forehead of a guard who tried to reach for a sword.

I then stood once more, turned to the two women, and bowed in a gentlemanly fashion.

"My apologies for that ladies. I would have liked to keep things peaceful, but the leader of your guards seems to have been rather rude." I said as calmly as I could. I then looked up and smiled. "My name is Jack. And I would hope that you could politely tell me where I am?"

The white woman (NOT RACIST! SHE LITERALLY HAD WHITE SKIN!) looked at her guards, sighed and shook her head in disappointment, while the blue one tried and failed to hide a giggle behind her hand.