How NOT To Be A Good Friend 101
It started off such a good day, quite a good day indeed. I (Rarity) woke up, thought of a new idea for a dress, made some new dresses, and made profit off of old ones. This one dress design was based off of the Tree Of Harmony. Quite genius indeed. As the day continued however, I couldn't think of anything. I later realized that I encounter something terrible. Something everypony else called, anart block.At first I panicked, but then I came to the conclusion that asking my friends would help. I decided to ask Rainbow Dash, as she is quite colorful.
What a mistake I made.
Or was it a mistake? Probably, I'll let you decide.
I stood under Rainbow Dash's magical rainbow cloud house. "Rainbow Dash!" I yelled out loud so that Rainbow Dash could hear me, "I need your help!"
I heard nothing, so for some frickin' reason, I levitated myself up to Rainbow Dash's door. I looked at the window to see if anypony was there.
I witnessed something.
I witnessed murder.
I saw Rainbow Dash grab a shovel and hit Gilda) hard in the head. How does one shovel in the head murder somepony (Or Somegriffon) you ask? Well, it was repetitively. Later, a face of horror appeared on Rainbow Dash's face. "U-uh..." Rainbow Dash started, "Mareo Kart...?" Rainbow Dash poked Gilda. "Buck" Rainbow Dash muttered to herself. Rainbow Dash then looked over to the window. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rainbow Dash screeched, opening the door, "YOU SPY!" Rainbow Dash yelled at me.
"I just wanted to ask you a question, then you frickin' murdered something you frickin' frick!" I yelled at Rainbow Dash.
"Y-you saw nothing!" Rainbow Dash stuttered, "mistakes were made!"
"Murders were made, Rainbow Dash, murders," I responded.
"B-but" Rainbow Dash stuttered.
"What were you trying to accomplish by killing Gilda anyway?" I asked Rainbow Dash.
"Well," Rainbow Dash started to explain, "I invited Glida to my house so we could play Mareo Kart together. Everything was going great until..."
"Until what?" I asked. I needed an answer obviously. None of my friends would do such horrible things for no reason.
Rainbow Dash looked around, "Promise me, you won't tell anyone," she whispered.
"Tell them what?" I yelled.
"I-I h-have, a fear, of..." Rainbow Dash kept on stuttering, "bugs."
"Bugs?"
"That what led me to accidentally kill Gilda. There was a fly crawling on her head, and I hit her with a shovel. The fly flew away and landed back again. I kept on hitting here, trying to kill the fly. But then I realized I had accidentally killed her," Rainbow Dash explained.
I facehoofed. That was the stupidest motive for a murder I had ever heard of. And as I thought that, I also thought to myself,you think?
Rainbow Dash looked around nervously. She later turned to me, "You promise you won't tell anyone? Please, you're the only pony that understands. You'll do this, right?"
The only pony who understands? Are you sure of that? Such stuff like 'I tried to kill a fly but killed my friend instead' definitely does b]NOTmake sense.
Then again, Rainbow Dash was my best friend, so I guess I had to help her. "Okay fine, now how do we bury the body?" I asked her.
"Teleportation magic?" Rainbow Dash suggested.
"That's really the only chance we have right now. Teleport Gilda's body too somewhere nopony will see us, then bury it," I responded, "Okay, we'll do it. Only if you promise it won't happen again."
"I promise!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, "Thank you so much!"
Little did I know, that promise would be broken.
...
I levitated a shovel (A different shovel from the murder weapon) and dug out the dirt. Once the hole was big enough, Rainbow Dash pushed Gilda's corpse into the hole. I filled the hole with dirt and then finally put the top layer of grass back the top of the hole so nobody found the place suspicious and dug it up, only to find Gilda's dead body.
"Thank you," Rainbow Dash told me.
"Now let's just go home, get our beauty sleep, and forget this ever happened," I told Rainbow Dash. I then yawned because of how tired I was. Today did not go the way I planned.
Rainbow Dash also yawned, "Good idea," she responded drowsily.
...
I sleep for a long time, until about approximately 11:15 A.M. Forgetting all about yesterday, I started to sew the dresses I started working on a few days ago, also forgetting about my art block. I yawned, maybe I needed more sleep. Just then, my cutie mark started glowing. Time for a friendship problem. I then got an idea, a dress of glowing cutie mark calling for a friendship problem! With something like my cutie mark (Diamonds), it would look absolutely fabulous!
But now's not the time for that.
...
I ran towards Twilight's castle. Twilight opened the door. I walked in to the Cutie Map. I also saw Rainbow Dash there. "Hello!" Rainbow Dash greeted me.
"Where are we going?" I asked Twilight as I studied the map, looking to see where we would go.
"Neigh York City" I pointed out.
...
Rainbow Dash and I finally arrived at Neigh York City. We stepped off of the Friendship Express and made our way to the hotel we were staying at. After unpacking our stuff, we walked around Neigh York City to find the friendship problem. In the distance, I saw a dark purple unicorn with a darker purple mane and tail and a silver Earth Pony with a gray mane and tail arguing.
"I say we get chocolate cheesecake for dessert!" the purple unicorn yelled.
"Why does your word matter over mine? I say we should order chocolate covered marshmallows!" the silver pony yelled.
"But we could make smores later! Cheesecake is harder to make?"
"Does it really matter?"
"Girls, girls!" I stepped in, "Can't you just both order what you want?"
"We don't have enough money to order both! Marshmallows are cheeper, something Ebony Call won't understand!" the silver pony yelled.
"I get paid tomorrow Silver Song!" Ebony Call argued.
"If you can't agree, why not go home and make a snack there?" Rainbow Dash asked.
Ebony Call and Silver Song both looked at each other. "I guess it could work," Ebony Call calmed down.
"Yeah!" Silver Song cheerfully, "I have a brownies mix at home we could make!"
"Thank you!" Ebony Call thanked them.
Rainbow Dash and I both looked at our Cutie Marks, nothing. We both looked disappointed. I looked around, it looked like it was going to be hard getting around here. "Hey! Can you show us around here?" Rainbow Dash asked the two friends.
Silver Song and Ebony Call both nodded, "Sure!"
...
It was starting to get dark. I appreciated how patient Silver Song and Ebony Call were as we were near the alleyways. Rainbow Dash looked over at Ebony Call and saw a huge centipede crawling on her. How Ebony Call didn't feel the crawls of the centipede I don't know, but Rainbow Dash saw it.
Buck
Rainbow Dash grabbed the trash can lid and started hitting Ebony Call. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Silver Song and I both yelled. We tried to pull Rainbow Dash back but Rainbow Dash somehow found a knife and stabbed Ebony Call.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIEND?" Silver Song screeched. I briefly saw a spider on Silver Song's face. Rainbow Dash stabbed Silver Song in the face and managed to not only kill the spider and the centipede, but also Silver Song and Ebony Call. "RAINBOW DASH! WHAT THE BUCK!!?" I yelled at Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash looked at what she did, "Buck, it happened again!"
"How could you do that? AGAIN!!?" I yelled at her.
Rainbow Dash managed to calm down, kinda, "D-don't w-worry. T-they're just unlikable b-bad OCs. N-nobody will miss them."
"IT DOESN'T MATTER RUN BACK TO THE HOTEL!" I yelled at Rainbow Dash.
It happened again. Rainbow Dash killed again. We were forced to go home the next morning. Friendship problem failed.
...
Two mornings later, we were called by Twilight Sparkle for a meeting. I didn't know what, but I hoped it had nothing to do with the murder three days ago.
It did. Kinda.
I made my way over to the map. Once everypony made it, Twilight started the meeting. "Today we are gathered here for a meeting that could potentially start the zompony apocalypse" she announced.
"Zomponies? What ever do you mean darling?" I asked. Zomponies sounded quite absurd.
"Well there was a sickness of a few ponies getting some sort of virus. The scientist Ebony Call at The Laboratory Of Advanced Medicines was working on a cure for the virus. Unfortunately, she murdered at an alleyway along with her best friend Silver Song." Twilight explained.
Rainbow Dash and I looked at each other. Buck. How were we supposed to know Ebony Call was some sort of scientist? They both seemed like ordinary ponies. What do I mean Me? It's all Rainbow Dash's fault!
Applejack rolled her eyes, "I doubt zomponies are gonna come and take over Equestria. Zomponies are just an old mare's tale!"
Fluttershy looked over, "I sure hope zomponies won't come and take over. What will happen to the animals?"
"WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE CUPCAKES!!?" Pinkie Pie yelled out loud.
"Calm down," Twilight told us, "the ponies there are still overlooking the problem, but Rarity, Rainbow Dash, you were in Neigh York City when the murder happened. Do you know what happened?"
I did not want to be in the room where it happened. I seriously did not, but thanks to Rainbow Dash, I had a huge problem.
We both shook our head, as much as I wanted to tell everyone what happened. Rainbow Dash didn't mean to murder them right? She was just trying to kill the spider and the centipede. Not really, it's quite a stupid reason. I swear, if Rainbow Dash did it again. But she's still gotta be innocent, right?
"Okay then," Twilight responded, "But we are going to Zebrica."
"Zebrica?" Fluttershy asked, "Why?"
"The zebras know a lot about potions," Twilight told us, "they might be able to help us."
...
After a few days of traveling, we finally arrived in Zebrica. It was extremely hot and dry here. We arrived at the Prince's castle. As we walked up to the prince, we bowed down. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship from Equestria," Twilight announced.
"Greetings, I am Prince Leaffall." the Prince announced, "what brings you here?"
"We are here to discuss the cure for a virus that causes ponies and zebras to act like zomponies," Twilight told him.
I looked around, Rainbow Dash was gone. This does not sound good.
It didn't, especially since I heard screaming.
"HUGE BEETLE!" a scream came from (obviously) Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash was running with a spear in her hoof (Don't ask how), running around trying to stab the beetle. I tried to levitate the spear away from Rainbow Dash, but it was too late (Plot reasons). The beetle climbed on Prince Leaffall.
STAB
Everyone gasped and looked at the at Prince Leaffall. Rainbow Dash looked at what she did and said "I-I-I'm sorry!"
Prince Leaffall looked at his hood, blood everywhere where Rainbow Dash had stabbed him. The zebras tried to attack Rainbow Dash but she quickly flew away. Prince Leaffall yelled out, "I DECLARE WAR AGAINST THE PONIES!"
Twilight's face was filled with horror, "NO!"
And that's how the Great War started.
...
"HOW COULD YOU RAINBOW DASH!" I yelled, "YOU STARTED A WAR!"
"I'm sorry, but we're gonna win anyways, right?" Rainbow Dash responded.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW?" I asked her angrily.
"We've got The Ministry Of Awesome!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, "Oh and the other ministries."
I was angry, "I am not your friend." I walked away.
The Great War happened. Megaspells, nukes, death, everything happened. All because of Rainbow Dash's fear of insects and spiders. Rainbow Dash kept on trying to talk to me, but I didn't forgive her for a while.
After a while, I decided to help Rainbow Dash with her fear. "Rainbow Dash?" I asked.
Rainbow Dash looked at me, "yeah?" she asked.
"I cantryto help you with your fear" I told her.
It did not work out well.
I led Rainbow Dash to a place filled with insects. "Now try to ignore them," I told her. Rainbow Dash grabbed a machete and killed the bugs. I was fed up with how Rainbow Dash was around bugs. I ran far away and drunk so much alcohol that I got drunk. I did not want to live. I hated Rainbow Dash with all of my life.
"And that's how the Great War started, The End." Littlepip's Mother closed the book she was reading, titled "The Story Of Rarity's POV Of The Great War."
Littlepip laid down in her bed, "That's not what hap-"
"I WAS READING THE BOOK WORD FOR WORD!" Littlepip's Mother yelled out before falling to the ground.
Littlepip rolled her eyes, "Maybe I should read bedtime stories by myself." Littlepip picked up the book her mother misread and started to read it correctly.
Author's Note
This idea came up randomly.
Also almost everyone ded. Almost everyone gone. Moment of silence please. At least the toaster repair pony will later save us all.
Also I did not write the original Fallout:Equestria, that was written by Kkat.
