Why Would I Ask Her?

by chillbook1

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Romance, Silver Spoon, Equestria Girls, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo
Length: 3691

Diamond Tiara has a girlfriend. She just wishes someone would've told her about it.

With Canterlot High's annual Summer Dance Party just around the corner, Diamond Tiara is in dire need of a date. Fortunately, she already has one. Unfortunately, nobody thought it prudent to inform Diamond of that fact.

Edited by ChappedPenguinLips

Published 2017-09-29 19:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-29 19:10:06 UTC

Why Would I Ask Her?

Author's Note

This was originally going to be my entry into Princess Amore Dudette's DiamondBloom Shipping Contest. However, my editor for this story, ChappedPenguinLips said (rightly so) that this particular piece felt lacking. I agreed, so, after some internal debate, I restarted and wrote an entirely new fic with an entirely different premise. That said, I didn't want to waste this story, nor did I intend to revamp it. So, here it is, in all its "meh" glory. Hope you get some enjoyment out of it, regardless.

Why Would I Ask Her?

Diamond Tiara’s room was luxuriously decorated, as to be expected from her. The pink wallpaper and extravagant wardrobes were a familiar sight, as the bedroom had been the de facto hang out spot of her and Silver Spoon ever since they met in kindergarten, and things hadn’t changed much now that they were older. Diamond, as always, was laid out on her bed, munching on a bowl of popcorn and flipping through her phone with a tired expression. Silver Spoon had known Diamond for many years, and she rarely saw her friend with an expression other than disinterest, scorn, or self-satisfaction.

Diamond Tiara gave a rare smirk and snicker, oblivious to the fact that she was being watched.

“What’s so funny, Di?” asked Silver, spinning idly in Diamond’s computer chair.

“What? Oh, nothing,” said Diamond. “I just got a text, and… Well, you kinda had to be there.”

“Uh-huh. Were you listening to me at all?”

“Duh, of course not. I’ve been busy thinking about the stupid summer party!”

Canterlot High hosted an annual Summer Dance Party every year after school released for summer vacation, and it was a pretty incredible event. The students of CHS saw it as important as the prom. As Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were finishing their first year at CHS, this would be their first chance to attend the party. That meant they had to make a good first impression, and that meant Diamond Tiara would need to tap into her manipulative, micromanaging side.

“Me too, that’s why I was asking about my date!” said Silver Spoon. “Should I ask him to go with me, or should I wait until he asks me?”

“Who’s ‘he’?” asked Diamond. It didn’t really bother Silver Spoon that her friend hadn’t been listening or even really thinking about her, nor did it surprise her. Their relationship had always been a very give-take affair, with Diamond doing the majority of the taking. Still, Silver Spoon was Diamond’s best friend, and she had long since gotten used to this sort of thing.

“Snips! I told you, I wanted to go to the dance with him. What should I do?”

Diamond had to fight her hardest to refrain from throwing up upon hearing Snips’ name. There was something profoundly upsetting about the idea of Snips and Silver Spoon, and Diamond would die a thousand deaths before she let them share a conversation, let alone a dance.

“I will literally un-friend you if you go to the dance with Snips,” gagged Diamond, tossing a handful of popcorn at Silver Spoon. “He’s too icky to be with a cute girl like you. You can do much better than a loser like him.”

“Snips is not a loser! He’s kind of a goofball, but he’s super sweet, and…” Silver Spoon stopped, just then processing what Diamond had said as she pulled the buttery kernels from her hair. “Wait, you really think so? That I can do better?”

“You’re my friend, Silver Spoon, so that’s reason enough to date you. Slap on how cute you are on top of that, and you could probably get an upperclassman to go with you.” Silver Spoon beamed at the rare display of kindness from her friend, who was quick to try to change the subject. “But enough about you, let’s worry about me! Who am I gonna take to the dance?”

Silver Spoon arched an eyebrow, but not because of how quickly Diamond had shafted her problems (not entirely, anyway). Most of her confusion was due to the fact that Diamond’s question made absolutely zero sense.

“Uh… What?” said Silver Spoon, scratching her head. “What do you mean?”

“Ugh, I know, right? I should totally have a date by now!” complained Diamond, not entirely grasping her friend’s confusion. “You know what I think? I think I must be so hot that I’m scaring the boys off!” Diamond snickered venomously, then grabbed another handful of popcorn to eat. “Maybe I should ask one of those Crusader losers how to dial that down.”

“That’s not what I meant. I just meant… Why don’t you go with Applebloom?”

“Ew! Why would I ask her to go to the dance with me?” said Diamond. The very idea was revolting. Between their troubled histories, differing upbringings, and Applebloom’s dirty, grimy, earthy lifestyle… Diamond wouldn't touch Applebloom with a twelve-foot pole, much less take her as a date to the biggest party of the summer.

“Cause she’s your girlfriend?” tried Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara coughed suddenly, lodging a popcorn kernel in her throat. It took several moments of hacking and a few firm whacks on the back from Silver Spoon to dislodge it, and Diamond was all the more shocked for it.

“What?! Are you insane?!” demanded Diamond, her words intermittent with coughs. “What made you think I like that loser enough to let her be my friend, nevermind my girlfriend?!”

“You two hang out all the time. Ever since Cheerilee put you together for that Gulliver’s Travels project, you two have been super close,” said Silver Spoon. “Plus… I see the way you look at her when you think nobody’s watching. You two give each other the puppy eyes from across the Algebra room every day.”

“Well, thanks for answering my question.” Diamond sat herself up, frowning at her friend. “You are insane. I only hang out with her because she’s always showing up where I happen to be. We’re not ‘hanging out’, we’re bumping into each other. And we had to be super close for that project, because I had to stay over at her stupid farm to make sure we finished in time, and I was not about to let her ruin my straight A’s by not doing her fair share! And as for the so-called ‘puppy eyes’, well, you’re just making that up!”

“So you don’t hang out with Applebloom unless you absolutely have to?”

“Duh!”

“Then who were you texting just now?” asked Silver Spoon. Just as she expected, Diamond averted her gaze and began blushing faintly red. “Thought so. You don’t have inside jokes with anybody but me, Di. You should’ve known that I’d be able to figure you out.”

“Applebloom is not my girlfriend,” Diamond reaffirmed.

“Fine, then she’s your crush.”

“Ew! That’s somehow even worse!” Diamond Tiara shuddered in disgust at the very idea. “I just… Her and me… No! I literally can’t even! It’s just wrong! I’m a princess, she’s a farm girl! She doesn’t even get me in the fairy tales!”

“I dunno, Di. I think you two are a cute couple,” said Silver Spoon with a grin. Diamond’s blush grew more intense, as did her frown.

“We are not a couple!” shouted Diamond yet again. “Not in a million years!”

“You hang out, you text, and you have jokes that only you two laugh about,” listed Silver Spoon. “Sounds like a couple to me.”

“Don’t be stupid, dummy. You and I hang out, text, and have inside jokes. That doesn’t make us a couple.”

“Only cause I like boys.”

“And I don’t? I'm the one who's kissed a boy, not you!”

“That’s not the point, and you’re flexible. You’ve always been on both sides,” said Silver, a small smirk on her face. It was refreshing to see the normally calm, cool, and collected Diamond Tiara blushing and panicking for once. “Remember your little crush on Alexis in fourth grade?”

“That was fourth grade! Doesn’t count! And besides, even if I did swing both ways, that doesn’t mean I’m dating or even crushing on Apple—”

Beautiful, kind and gentle, and loving and softness and sweetness, and candy and gum~

Diamond stopped dead in her tracks, her phone’s ringing bringing her blush to maximum capacity. Silver Spoon snickered at the ringtone, the personalized song that would only sound when a specific person called (and Silver Spoon had an inkling as to who that person was). Diamond couldn’t look her friend in the eye as she picked up her phone and put it to her ear.

“What?” she said flatly. She could feel Silver Spoon’s eyes boring into her, watching intently for some sign as to where the conversation was headed. “No, I’m not busy. Ugh, can’t it wait? I don’t wanna walk all the way to… Ugh! Whatever, fine! You’re lucky I need those movies back. You better have taken good care of them, cause if they’re damaged, Daddy is gonna kill me. That means I’m gonna kill you. Fine, whatever, see you there.”

Diamond hung up and slammed her phone onto her mattress, positively fuming at the actions that had transpired.

“So…” said Silver Spoon, simply brimming with smugness. “Who was it?”

“Drop dead, Spoon,” grumbled Diamond.

“That was a cute song. Did you pick it for her?”

“I picked it because it was dumb, just like she is.” Diamond stood up and slipped into her shoes, pouting the whole time. “I’ll be back.”

“Where are you headed?”

It went quiet for a moment, as Diamond tried to decide how best to lie through her teeth. Unfortunately for her, Silver Spoon knew her quite well, and her odds of successfully lying to her were slim.

“Applebloom’s house. She has some of my dad’s DVDs from when we had Scary Movie Night,” mumbled Diamond. Silver Spoon snickered, much to her friend’s annoyance. “She is not my girlfriend!”

Diamond strolled through the orchard, approaching the Apple family homestead from behind. Dead ahead was the barn, where Diamond had slept when staying with Applebloom for their English project. On all sides were large, sturdy apple trees, the largest of which stood a bit of a ways to Diamond’s right. This was where, according to Applebloom, Big Mac tended to rest after a long day of work. This was also where Diamond and Applebloom had finished reading Gulliver’s Travels for Ms. Cheerilee’s class.

Diamond was most assuredly not dating Applebloom. There are very few things in life one can be certain of, but of that, she was sure. Diamond didn't like Applebloom that way. Frankly, she barely liked her the other way. The two had been enemies for ages, for so long that neither actually remembered why they didn't like each other anymore. Their mutual distaste for one another, regardless of its origins, ran deep. Just as day follows night, Diamond Tiara hated Applebloom.

Though, if Diamond was being perfectly honest with herself, she didn't really hate Applebloom as much these days. Once you spend years at someone's throat, harboring ill-will for them becomes more tiresome than anything. And Applebloom wasn't hugely irritating at all times. Diamond didn't want to admit it, but the Scary Movie Night that the two had was actually a lot of fun. And Silver Spoon had a fair point. She had been texting Applebloom a lot these past few months, sometimes deep into the hours of the night. They were inconsequential conversations, pointless trivia about what had gone on during school that day or idle gossip about who Diamond had seen holding hands with who. So, even Diamond had to admit, saying she hated Applebloom probably wasn't true. In fact, they were probably considered friends. Some people, like Silver Spoon certainly seemed to think so. Apparently, people even thought they were more than that.

Diamond Tiara shook her head firmly. No. There was no way she had any feelings whatsoever for Applebloom. They were casual acquaintances at best. Not any more, not any less.

Although… Now that Diamond really gave the issue some thought, she realized she might have, offhandedly and subconsciously, called Applebloom cute. And maybe her texts were littered with more winky-face emojis than she would normally use. And, perhaps, maybe just once, in a totally platonic display of endearment, Diamond might have called Applebloom “bae”.

Oh my God, I've been flirting with Applebloom!

Diamond Tiara didn't have time to panic at this realization, because a voice stole her attention away from her thoughts. A voice that Diamond was very familiar with and, unlike Applebloom, she was absolutely positive that she loathed.

“The heck are you doing here, Tiara?” Diamond turned, prepared for the affront to femininity and style that was waiting for her.

Scootaloo was Diamond Tiara’s opposite in just about every conceivable manner, which is partially why Diamond always liked her the least out of the three Crusaders. Whereas Diamond fancied herself a princess, Scootaloo was the epitome of a tomboy. Her rough, crass personality rubbed against Diamond’s poorly, like sandpaper. It seemed that anything that Diamond hated, Scootaloo had a fascination with. This theory was supported by Scootaloo’s affinity for spiders, snakes, sports, video games, comic books, and, currently most relevant, water guns, like the one she was aiming directly at Diamond’s chest.

“Hold your fire, Loser-loo,” said Diamond with a roll of the eyes. “I don't want any trouble.”

“Then maybe don't open with ‘Loser-loo’,” suggested Scootaloo.

“Fair enough. What do you want?”

“I asked first.” Scootaloo cocked her SuperSoaker threateningly. “Spill it or get shot.”

“If you get this top wet, your parents will never find your body,” warned Diamond. “And, if you must know, your friend Applebloom stole my DVDs, and I’m here to get them back.”

“Bloom is a lot of things, but she’s no thief.”

“Alright, fine, I left them here. Still, I want them back.” Diamond held her hands up cautiously, wanting very much to avoid ruining her sweater. “Now you. What are you doing here?”

“AB is my friend. I don’t need a reason,” said Scootaloo. She seemed convinced that Diamond meant no harm, so she rested her SuperSoaker idly on her shoulder. “But I was talking to her about the dance. She was helping me decide on how to do my hair.”

“Pff. She’s the last girl who you should be getting fashion advice from. Why aren’t you asking Sweetie Belle?” scoffed Diamond. “She’s the only one of you with any semblance of style.”

“Because, glitter-brains, it’d ruin the surprise. The whole point is to change it for her,” said Scootaloo. Diamond was confused, and it showed. “She’s my date, genius. And I want to do something special for her.”

“Oh. Huh. I buy you as a dyke, but Sweetie? Shocker.” Diamond backed away, wanting to get her DVDs but also unwilling to take her eyes off of the girl that was currently keeping her hostage. “Well, this has been fun, and I swear, I’m only being about 80% sarcastic there.”

“Whatever. Go get your stupid DVDs,” grumbled Scootaloo. “AB is in the barn. Probably waiting for you.” Diamond turned for the barn, then stopped. Something was gnawing at her mind, a question she had no interest in, yet couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Hey, you’ve known Applebloom for a long time, right?” asked Diamond.

“Duh. She and Sweetie are my oldest friends. What of it?”

“Well… And, y-y’know, I don’t, like, care if she does or anything, but… Do you think she likes me?” Diamond felt that blush return, making her simultaneously embarrassed and infuriated. “Romantically, I mean. Not that I care.”

“Well, duh,” said Scootaloo with a roll of the eyes. “It’d be weird if she didn’t. Why would she be dating you if she doesn’t like you?”

For the second time that day. Diamond Tiara choked, although this time on nothing but air.

“Where is this coming from?!” she demanded. “She’s not my girlfriend! Who is spreading these lies?!”

“Look, I’m not getting involved in this. This is something for you and the missus to work out.” Scootaloo snickered as her mortal enemy blushed red like a tomato in the sun. “Good luck with that, DT.” She laughed out loud as she began walking away. “You’re gonna need it!”

Diamond Tiara let out a sigh, clutching her head tiredly. All she wanted was her DVDs. Was that too much to ask?

“Thanks,” grumbled Diamond.

“Here ya go.” Applebloom handed Diamond a stack of six DVDs, each of them classic horror films that were released before either was born.

Just as Scootaloo had predicted, Applebloom was waiting for her in the barn, lounging on a pile of hay. Diamond wasn’t much for the dirty, grimy conditions that a barn would afford, but, to her surprise, she didn’t mind it that day. Perhaps it was due to her familiarity, on account of having slept their a few months prior.

“Thanks. Now that my continued existence is assured…” Diamond clutched the DVDs to her chest, her gaze finding Applebloom’s and locking onto it. Diamond never much gave it thought, but Applebloom’s eyes were beautiful. A sort of burnt orange color, the shade was like the sunset.

Why is my heart pounding like this?!

“Uh… Y’all okay there, DT?” asked Applebloom. “Ya look… off.”

“I’m just… preoccupied.” That technically wasn’t a lie, but Diamond Tiara knew it also wasn’t quite the truth. “This stupid summer dance, I don’t know what I’m gonna wear, and… Yeah.”

Gah! My hands are shaking! Stop it, stop it, stop it!

“Yeah, Ah know the feeling. Been searching fer a dress fer weeks now. Don’t nothin look right, though,” said Applebloom. “Think ya could lend a girl a hand?”

“Hm… I’ve got a dress in salmon pink that would go with your eyes,” said Diamond. “And shoes, we need to go shoe shopping.”

Stop it, you idiot! You’re asking her out! What are you doing?!

“Sounds mighty fine to me.”

It got quiet after that, which only Applebloom seemed to notice the awkwardness of. Diamond Tiara was too focused on Applebloom’s eyes, the way they shined, almost glowing. Applebloom gave a quiet cough, failing to snap Diamond from her stupor.

“Seriously, Diamond, yer startin’ to freak me out,” said Applebloom. She snapped her fingers firmly, which seemed to bring Diamond Tiara back down to Earth. “Y’all sure everything is okay?”

No! No! No! Silver Spoon can’t be right! I refuse to believe it!

“I-I… AB, can I… Can I ask you something?” Diamond was struggling to speak, but not because of some sort of disgust or disbelief. The words tangled themselves on her tongue, refusing to be properly enunciated.

“Sure, DT. Y’all can ask me anything.”

Oh, screw it! I’ve got nothing to lose!

“Would you… I mean, if you’re not, like, busy or anything.” Diamond cleared her throat, feeling that blush return and intensify to formerly unknown limits. She closed her eyes, looking down to avoid Applebloom’s gaze as totally as she could. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

Diamond Tiara tensed at the silence she received. It sent a chill down her spine as she dreaded what Applebloom could have possibly been thinking about. What if she was wrong? What if Silver Spoon and Scootaloo were both way off the mark, and Applebloom felt nothing for Diamond more than their strange friendship. Diamond dared to look up, hoping to gleam some sort of understanding of the situation .

Applebloom simply looked baffled, her head tilted in outright and absolute confusion.

“Uh… Ah thought we were already dating?” Applebloom looked genuinely befuddled and concerned. “Ah’m confused.”

Diamond stared blankly, just as confused as Applebloom was.

“I’m sorry… WHAT?!”

“Ah thought we were dating for ‘bout a month now,” said Applebloom. “We were hanging out in my room, and ya said Ah was hot and that we should go out. Then, we went to get ice cream.”

It took Diamond Tiara almost a full minute to remember what in the world it was that Applebloom was talking about and, when she did, her palm met her forehead with enough intensity to shatter concrete.

“Bloom! That’s not what happened! I said ‘man, it’s hot in here, we should go outside’! Because your AC was broken! Is that why you started texting me more often?” said Diamond, unable to fully grasp what was transpiring. “Oh my God, I can’t believe this… I asked you out by mistake!”

“Huh. Yeah, Ah guess you did.” Applebloom shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“That’s not the point! I can’t be with someone if I asked them out without meaning to!”

“Well? Y’all are here, ain’t ya?” said Applebloom, grinning at her sorta-girlfriend. “Want a do-over?”

Diamond Tiara took in a deep breath, calming her nerves. Between the sudden revelation that she had apparently been dating Applebloom for a month by this point and her embarrassment at the whole situation, it was hard for her to keep up her usual calm, cool facade.

“When we were younger, I didn’t like you, and you didn’t like me. I don’t really remember why, but it doesn’t matter,” said Diamond. She started off slow, but grew more confident as she fell into a flow with her words. Talking to Applebloom was far easier than she had expected it to be, which was probably why she found herself texting her so much in the first place. “What matters is now, and now I see you for what you are. You’re this annoyingly cute, upsettingly charming little cowgirl that I should’ve had the sense to be friends with before. I want to make up for lost time. So, I guess what I’m saying is…” Diamond took in a deep breath, letting it out in a tired sigh. “Will you go to the Summer Dance with me? As my… girlfriend?”

Applebloom hummed in thought for a moment, as if appraising Diamond’s words. She said nothing as she crossed the barn, gave Diamond a smile, and kissed her princess on the blushing red cheek.

“‘Course, sugarcube,” said Applebloom. “Ah thought you’d never ask!”