The Real Pony Ghostbusters

Chapters

Something Strange!
Ain't Afraid of No Ghost!
Now Hiring!
Only Zuul!
Mass Hysteria!

Something Strange!

“We live in a world of magic, everypony has some form of it. The world, if left unchecked, has magic that could go wildly out of control, Pegasi keep check on the weather, and earth ponies helps keep civilization separated from the outskirt regions such as the Everfree Forest at bay.” A unicorn mare was giving a speech from behind a podium to an audience of older pony professors.

“Unicorns are always researching new ways to improve the lives of everypony in and outside of Equestria.” Her voice was as firm as her blue coated tall frame. She wore her pink mane in a bun and had red glasses to complete the scientist look. “Science is about making sense of the world around us, but sometimes we have to push ourselves further to understanding this world.” She nodded to a unicorn stallion off to the side. He then used his magic to turn down the lights and turn on a slide projector.

“There are things that have gone on beyond equine understanding, things that most ponies don’t want to know about.” The mare said.

As a slide flickered into view, a gaseous cloud in a photograph of an abandoned manor. Murmurs came from the audience.

“We need to get past our fear of entities that exist beyond the realm of the living.” She continued.

“Dr. Neutrona,” a crumbling old voice spoke from the crowd. “The problem isn’t that we doubt that things may or may not exist.”

////

Blocks away, from the university, at the Manehattan Public Library, an old mare with grey curled mane began her descent into the less populated corridors of the building, pushing her cart of books at a slow pace. Only the occasional squeak from a wheel could be heard as she continued moving along the carpeted floors. Unbeknown to her, the card catalogue drawers began shooting out their contents.

////

“They, nor anything from the other side have ever bothered us.” The old professor said. “Any attempts to interact with the other side have always led to gross abuses in magic Dr. Neutrona.”

“We can’t just hide behind our fears,” Neutrona replied. “Science can’t be held back.”

////

The fluttering sound of the library card catalogue finally caught the old librarian’s attention. She moved as fast as her hooves could carry her through the corridors. By now, panic had overtaken her; she’d begun to move through the aisles aimlessly, only the thought of escape mattered. She should have remembered her way out, but when books began to swarm her like bats, capacity for rational thought went out the window.

Her heart wasn’t meant for this sort of terror, librarians weren’t supposed to be chased around by Celestia knows what.

////

“Furthermore.” Dr. Neutrona added. “While you might be concerned with how ponies might abuse this research, shouldn’t you also be worried about what might happen if something from the other side took notice of us?”

////

Out of breath, the librarian had been forced into a clearing from the book cases before looking up at the glowing entity. The both of them shrieked.

////

In an office that was filled with clutter and snacks, an orange pegasus stallion with a brown mane sat across from an earth pony mare. His cutie mark was three cards, two face down and the middle one face up with a question mark.

“You know, it’s often easy to forget that non-unicorns actually have a pretty strong magical force about them.” He said. “Unicorns always get all of that attention with their flashy spells, but we’re here to see if there’s more to us than growing plants or moving clouds.”

The pink mare with a blonde mane looked inquisitively at the setup for the experiment. “So, am I supposed to guess what is under the buckets Dr. Swift Guess?”

“Already on the right track Pristine Pic.” The orange stallion said. “Now, let’s begin.” He grabbed a clipboard with his wing. And they moved over to the experiment.

“Now, use your hooves to figure out what I’ve put under the buckets.” Swift said.

Pristine Picture stood before the first bucket and stamped her forelegs firmly in front of her. Swift looked down at the answers on his clipboard.

“There’s a ball under this one.” Pristine Picture said.

Swift Guess looked at the answers, there was a coffee mug labeled to the corresponding bucket. “Hmm.” He said in response.

“A cupcake?” Pristine asked.

A horseshoe.

“A starfish?”

A pen.

“This is quite interesting Ms. Picture.” Swift said. “You’re pretty darn good at this. Next one?”

“Umm, some spaghetti?” Pristine Picture asked.

A ball of yarn.

“Incredible.” Swift Guess said. “I think you may ‘have it’.”

“Really?” Pristine Picture replied.

“Sure, you may well be on your way to honing a trans-material scrying technique.” Swift said. “I’ll need you to come over to my apartment this evening. I think your hooves can be put to good use for developing your sixth sense.”

Just then, the short green unicorn from the presentation came bursting into the office.

“Dr. Swift Guess, this is it!” he said, full of excitement.

“Dr. Valence, I was in the middle of an experiment here.” Swift said, scowling at his colleague. His own scientific cutie mark contrasted Swift’s. Valence’s had two circles, one with an orbiting dot on the outer one.

“You don’t get it.” Valence said. “Somepony just came galloping over here, raving that something had gone down that the Manehattan Public Library. An old mare had passed out in one of the basement levels.”

Swift looked un-interested, but Pristine Picture grew concerned at the exchange.

“Apparently, something really scared her. They’re saying it might have been a ghost!” Valence said.

“Old ponies do that, Vay, they get scared all the time actually.” Swift Guess said. “What with the reaper around every corner.”

“You’re missing the point, this is a new chance to investigate a ghost sighting!” Valence said.

“Look Vay, ghosts have always been you and your sister’s thing. I’m a little busy here anyways.” Swift said.

“Gotcha.” Valence said with a wink. “Miss, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to borrow Dr. Swift Guess, we’ve got a very special case we need to look over. Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s already made a special appointment with you at his apartment.”

Pristine Picture looked at Swift flatly, and then turned to leave. Swift Guess only let out an aggravated sigh as the mare left the office.

////

The two stallions made their way down the streets of Manehattan, one overly excited and the other quite miffed.

“I still don’t know why you keep dragging me to all of these ‘suspected hauntings’, it’s getting old Vay.” Swift said.

Valence was levitating a book as they walked. “We have to discern truth from fiction.” He said. “Tobin did that all the time, it’s the only way we can be sure we’ll get some accurate readings.”

“Yeah, and how many accurate readings do we keep getting of liars and bad piping?” Swift asked. “You’d think your sister would be sick of so many false positives.”

“Neutrona knows the scientific process can be a long and arduous one to prove a theory.” Valence said. “She’d just given a speech to try to get more ponies on board with our studies when we found out about the incident.”

“You still haven’t explained why you need me.” Swift said. “I was fine doing my own research.”

“You’re a doctor of parapsychology, not anatomy.” Valence said. “Not many ponies are experts in your field.”

“I thought that major was going to help me psycho-analyze ponies mid-flight.” Swift Guess said. “I had dreams of being the first shrink who had a midair office. What with the ‘para’ in the name.”

“And you never thought that maybe you were in the wrong field of study?” Valence asked.

“I was in too deep.” Swift said. “I was on cruise control all those years, and every time I mentioned my major to mares, they always took an interest.”

Valence rolled his eyes. “Well, you’re our expert when we make contact with entities from beyond, so you’re along for this and the department.”

“Vay, I hope you know I have a psychology degree as well, so in case all of this ghost nonsense, or any weirdness for that matter, ever tanks, I can just get a nice cushy office and be a normal pony shrink.”

“You forget Swift, I’ve been present for every breezie migration. And I noticed that fluctuation 3 years ago that has never been repeated since.” Valence said with a determined look. “They flew twice their altitude! Probably due to some sort of leyline shifting when they altered their path through the Unicorn Mountains.”

“Vay, the breezies were ten feet above the ground.” Swift replied.

The two of them had entered the library and found their colleague with some sort apparatus on her horn. The mare had a cutie mark or three arrows, a blue one pointing upward and red and greens ones pointing downward

Neutrona was scanning the area until Swift approached. “You know, you’re just giving more fuel for those tinfoil hat wearers.”

“There’s definitely something going on here, Swift.” She replied, taking off the apparatus. “Something is coming up on the sensors.”

“Are you sure that thing didn’t just cut the circulation to your brain?” Swift asked.

Neutrona rolled her eyes and made her way over to the other side of the library with Swift and Valence. There, an old grey mare was lying down.

“I thought you kids were playing another joke on me.” She said.

“We were all upstairs." Another librarian said.

“Then what in the name in Celestia did I see?” the older mare replied.

“That’s what we were hoping you could tell us.” Valence said.

“I thought it was a pegasus at first because it was in the air, but then I saw that it didn’t have any wings.” The victim said. “But then I saw its ragged clothes floating in the air and that…pony’s eyes were glowing!” her words were speeding up.

“And then it screamed at me! Oh, this is not what I asked for when I took this job! I was on my way to retirement. They aren’t going to take my retirement benefits, away are they? I’m not crazy!” The librarian had sat up and grasped at Swift Guess.

“Nopony is going to throw me in the looney bin?” the librarian asked, wide eyed.

“Not unless you start eating the books around here.” Swift replied.

Neutrona had been immersed in another scan during the talk and ushered Swift and Valence downstairs.

Through the corridors of shelves, the scientists moved with nothing appearing out of the ordinary. Valence was already beginning to show an uneasiness.

“I know it’s a library, but boy does it feel quieter than it should be.” Valence said. “Whoa.”

They had come upon the scene where disorder had set in. Cards and books laid strewn about everywhere.

A slimy substance coated the objects.

“So the rusty old librarian had an allergy attack and sneezed.” Swift said. “Either that or-“

“Its ectoplasmic residue Swift.” Neutrona said and levitated a small container. “I’m going to need a sample.”

“Be my guest.” Swift said. “I am not getting that stuff on my wings. You’re the one with telekinesis.”

They turned the corner to find the floating apparition in its ragged attire, each of the scientists’ eyes grew wid.

Swift was the first to shake himself from the stupor. “Oh come on, it’s probably somepony just really committed to the act. They’ve probably hung around Neutrona’s lectures long enough to know what we’re looking for.”

He’d begun to make his way over to the entity. Valence and Neutrona looked on in concern, but the mare continued using her PKE meter to continue scanning.

“Hello Ms. Ghost.” Swift said. “You must be really into other ponies, and I get that. You did a pretty good job scaring that librarian. So good, in fact, that we should talk about it over dinner, just take off the makeup and we’ll let this slide.”

The librarian raised a hoof and shushed Swift.

“Committed to the crazy, so that’s a no for dinner.” Swift said as he turned around to the others. Swift didn’t notice the mare behind him growing larger and larger, her mouth opening to expose sharpened teeth.

Neutrona and Valence pointed, only for Swift to casually turn around to notice the now hostile ghost.

“Oh, so you are real?” Swift said. “Run!” The scientists bolted out of the sublevel and make a mad gallop out of the library, bewildering those they passed by.

////

“Okay, okay, so I’ve got to admit it. Ghosts are real.” Swift said.

The group was back at Manehattan University, Valence was eating from a large bag of kettle corn he held in the air. “This is astounding! We have to the first ponies in history to get solid evidence of ghosts!” He munched down several pieces of his snack, chewed haphazardly, and continued his rant.

“We might actually begin to enter a new era of arcane science!”

Neutrona had her own bag of kettle corn floating about her along with other tools as she performed her calculations.

“This is big.” She said, approaching the others. “The data seems to indicate a consistency of spectral anomalies. There’s a base quality to corporeal entities that my allow us to directly affect their field of existence.”

Valence was shocked.

“Speak normal please!” Swift said.

“There may be a way we can capture and contain ghosts, Swift.” Valence said.

“Whoa, you’re serious, aren’t you Neutrona?” Swift asked.

“Science deems that I be serious.” Neutrona replied.

“How are you two even in the same family?” Swift asked.

But before the siblings could retort, an angry old stallion came trotting through the crowds of students.

“Dean Hayger!” Valence said.

“So, after we told you not to pursue these studies, you do the exact opposite and go investigate reports of ghosts?”

“Seems weird, the university would even allow parapsychology as a field of study.” Swift said.

“That is a theological and philosophical branch of research, Dr. Swift Guess.” Hayger replied. “We are not going to come under the scrutiny of Princess Celestia’s Anti-Necromancy Bureau! As of immediately, you will cease all actions and are hereby terminated!” the deans eye twitched with that last statement.

“Easy there,” Swift said. “Keep that up and we might have our newest ghost to study.”

////

“So what are your plans for keeping us homeless?” Valence asked.

“Look, obviously we can actually do something with the theories that you and Neutrona made, so we’ve just go to get this project off the ground.” Swift said as the three of them wheeled their lab equipment down the streets of Manehattan.

“You mean catching ghosts?” Valence asked.

“Nopony is going to be in direct competition with us, so we can probably liquidate a few assets to get this business off the ground.” Swift said.

“A few might be a bit of a stretch.” Neutrona said. “The majority of materials I’ll need are pretty to hard to come by. The containment grid Vay and I are going to make is going to need a lot of capital as well.”

The trio had passed into the financial district of the city when Swift brought them to one of the buildings.

“Let me guess, you’ve never taken out a mortgage, have you?” Swift asked as he opened a door.

“Mom and dad aren’t going to be happy about this.” Valence said, giving a worried look to his sister.

////

Without many options, the scientists were forced to take up residence with Swift. Three ponies lived in an already cramped apartment. Nuetrona was already soldering components of her inventions with the help of Valence.

“Not my ideal weekend, but if it helps get us back on our hooves, I’m for it.” Swift said. “So, how are you two going to catch ghosts with this stuff, I guess all you’d need would be a spell, and blam!”

“Spells might endanger us if we were to attempt to use our own direct magic on such entities.” Valence said. “Besides, were not the only ones who are going to be catching ghosts.”

Neutrona held up a small, dark grey device that had five red lights on it. “You’ve talked so much about it, but it makes sense, Swift. Everypony has an ambient amount of magic, so we designed this equipment to work for anypony.”

She then put it on like saddlebags. “It’ll channel magic through your cutie mark to help convert it into a stream of charged proton particles.” She pulled out a diagram she’d drawn.

“Ghosts have a field around them which can be disrupted and grasped by a charged stream of protons. Once restrained, they can be captured by a special container made of metals and crystals which line the trap.”

“That’s fine and dandy” Swift said. “But you’re calling it a proton ‘stream’. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a horn to direct energy.” He put a hoof to his head for emphasis.

Neutrona rummaged through the gear that had been assembled and pulled out an irregular looking device. “I told you, we won’t be using spells, so we’ll be using these to channel the proton stream, the neutrona wand.

“It’s nice to see you’re being so humble about the names of your inventions.” Swift said.

"Inventors do it all the time.” Neutrona replied, setting the wand back down. She then levitated a snack cake from a box, unwrapped the coconut covered treat, and ate.

“Oh come on, was that the last one?” Valence asked. “You’ve already had at least half the box!”

“How is it you keep that lean figure?” Swift asked.

“Probably genetics.” Vay grouchily replied, opening a box of chocolate cupcakes. “You got the better end of the family traits.”

Valence then brought out another device, a pair of goggles. “Since you were so critical of my PKE meter, I went ahead and merged the tech of the portable device with one that anypony can wear. I give you the PKE goggles.”

She passed them over to Swift, who put them on. “So now we can track ghosts by looking through these.” He said to clarify. The pegasus looked about his apartment when his attention directed back at Neutrona.

“These aren’t forensic, are they?” he asked, pulling the goggles off.

“They should be only able to pick up otherworldly wavelengths and substances.” Neutrona replied while she rummaged for another piece of equipment. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Swift replied.

Valence placed a box onto the table. “These are the traps that we’ll use to catch the ghosts.”

Swift picked up the box with yellow and black stripes. “If these are what we’re catching them in, its gonna clutter up the place.”

“No, we’ll be installing the containment grid at wherever we can set up shop.” Valence said.

////

“Hey, it’s the best we can do after the two of you spent almost every bit on our gear.” Swift said.

“I think it looks great for the amount its being offered for.” Valence said, looking around the building.

The three of them were led by a real estate agent through a decrepit building that had once belonged to a branch of the Manehattan fire department, until that organization actually started receiving tax money.

Neutrona looked over the firehouse with a look of disdain. “If I sneeze now, would the building fall apart?” she asked. “And would it be cheaper then?”

“I can assure you that this is the best building in your price range.” The griffon said, adjusting his tie.

“Wait, they left the pole installed!?” Valence said, as he bolted up the stairs, leaving a cloud of dust.

He then immediately slid down the fire pole and rejoined the others. “We’ll take it!”

“Excellent.” The real estate agent said.

////

It had been a long day, but home was in sight for Coco Pommel as she made her way to her apartment building. Working in the fashion industry was difficult on many days, but she’d pull through and break out soon enough.

Still, her current work allowed her a pretty great deal in this building. The earth pony carried her groceries upstairs and walked down the hall to her apartment.

Just before she could open her door, one further down the hall opened, and a beige earth pony with thick framed glasses emerged.

“Oh, hi Ms. Pommel!” he said. “I hope you got the invitation to our floor’s session of Ogres and Oubliettes, ponies have begun to RSVP!

“I did get your invitation, Poindexter.” Coco said. “I’m just so busy with my projects that I don’t think I”ll be able to join you.”

“Oh.” He said, disappointed. “Well, that’s fine.” Poindexter recovered his tone. “And hey, if your schedule clears up, we’ve got all sorts of characters rolled up for any newcomers!”

“That’s very thoughtful,” Coco said to the bifocaled pony. “You obviously put a lot of effort into this event.”

“Thanks, and you’re very cool yourself.” Poindexter said. ‘You’re not like other ponies that think our game is about summoning demons or something.”

The two parted ways and Coco entered her apartment to start her chore of putting away groceries. On her floormat, there was today’s newspaper. Wrapped around it was a special ad that had been taken out.

Paranormal Investigation and Elimination: Ghostbusters (send message via magic coupon attached, at your convenience!) We’re ready to believe you!

“Everypony’s out there trying to make a name for themselves, just like you Coco.” She said to herself and continued into the apartment. She thought about her projects that she wanted to complete and show the world.

Dresses and an array of clothing were everywhere on display, so many things she wanted to be part of her “break out” set. She put down her groceries on the counter to once again look at her work.

While she was ruminating, the eggs she’d bought began to stir. They leapt out of their shells, the surface of the counter began to sizzle as if it were a stovetop.

Coco’s nose caught the smell of fried egg and looked to see that her groceries had begun to prepare themselves. “What the hay?”

The eggs, in their semi-fluid form, then grew feet and formed into small, quadrupedal creatures that slowly scrambled towards her.

Coco shrieked and rolled up the newspaper she’d picked up earlier. The mare swatted at the mini abominations. After her kitchen was covered in an unmoving mess of eggs, she then heard a growl emanate from her fridge.

Coco readied the newspaper and slowly opened the fridge, only to find an orange, glowing skyscape had replaced its contents.

A bizarre structure, similar to a pyramid floated in the distance. On each side of the path leading up to the building were two terrifying looking creatures.

Coco stared in silence at the menacing marvel until one of the creatures opened its maw and spoke in a guttural voice. “ZUUL!”

Coco kicked the door shut, screaming and bolted from the apartment.

Ain't Afraid of No Ghost!

“That has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.” Swift said, looking up at the front of the firehouse.

The sign was of a ghost pony with a red circle and diagonal slash enclosing it.

“Oh come on, its great!” Valence said. “It stands out in a sea of-“

“Sane ponies.” Swift cut off Valence. “And this thing.” The pegasus looked into the garage. “did you really have to spring for this old cart?”

“We’re gonna need something to carry all the extra gear.” Valence said. “Don’t worry, I’ll have her in perfect shape in no time.

“Fine, I’m going inside.” Swift replied.

A green dragon with blue spines and underbelly was seated in the receptionist’s desk, she was sharpening her claws with a file.

“Hello Becky.” Swift said. “Any messages?”

“No.” the dragon replied.

“Any visitors?”

“No.”

“Having fun?”

“N-“ Becky stopped herself

“Just having a little fun with you.” Swift said. “Just try to look busy. We don’t want our clients thinking that business is so slow, we’re bored.”

“Do you think I should set some things on fire?” Becky asked. “I bet ponies would think something exciting was happening then.”

Swift paused. “You’re doing a good job as is. Carry on.” He then moved to the back of the fire house, into his office.

Becky continued filing her claws while Neutrona came down the stairs, scanning with her PKE goggles. When she passed by the desk, she removed them with a satisfied look. “This building is clean”

“So are you just practicing to look scientific?” Becky asked.

“It occurred to me that in our haste to buy the firehouse, we never bothered to check if it was haunted itself.” Neutrona replied. The tall unicorn replaced her goggles and began scanning Becky.

“And what exactly are you hoping to find, a ghost living in my spleen?” Becky asked. “I’m not some possessed dragon. I lived in the dragon district all my life and the scariest thing that ever happened was gem price hike ten years ago.”

“You still took this job.” Neutrona replied.

"Oh great, is another one of you going to try to ‘psychoanalyze’ me” I thought Swift was the one who played mind games.”

“I heard that!” Swift said from the back.

Coco Pommel approached the establishment, she was having second thoughts upon seeing the sign over the doorway.

“Ghostbusters.” She said to herself. “Its fine. I’ll just ask them if they can help with whatever is in my apartment and then if they start making me buy things, I’ll just tell them I’ll keep my options open.”

She pushed open the large door and saw the state of disarray the firehouse was in. Coco assed by Valence, who’d preoccupied himself in repairing the cart, and them came up to the front desk, finding Becky and Neutrona.

“Excuse me, this is the Ghostbusters’ office, right?”

“Yes, it is.” Becky replied, switching to a professional tone.

Swift’s head poked over the partition of his office, and he instantly flew over to greet Coco.

“I’m Dr. Swift Guess, how can I help you?” he asked.

“Well, I really don’t know how else to say this, but I think my apartment is haunted.”

Neutrona slid on her goggles and began inspecting Coco.

“Let’s go ahead and save that for the lab, Dr. Neutrona.” Swift said, retraining some frustration in his voice.

“Dr. Valence, we’re going upstairs, I’m going to need your help.”Neutrona said.

The four ponies made their way upstairs, leaving Becky behind. Once they’d gone all the way up, the dragon resumed her claw filing.

“You’re such a good receptionist.” She said to herself.

////

“Okay, we’re just about ready.” Valence said, setting a metal-lined hoofball helmet on Coco Pommel’s head. “Neutrona, we’re ready to flip the switch.”

The machine then came to life with a subtle hum. “Let’s get started.” Swift said. “So, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a fashion designer here in Manehattan.” Coco replied.

“Does your family have any history of mental illness?”

“Not that I know of.”

“So, what happened?” Valence asked.

Coco recounted the bizarre scene from the afternoon previous. Neutrona stared at the machine, fixated on the data being displayed. A converted seismograph machine was drawing zig-zags on paper, while a green light flickered on the top.

Neutrona then moved towards Coco and aimed a flashlight into their client’s eyes. “I think she’s telling the truth.”

“Aren’t you supposed to believe in ghosts?” Coco asked.

“Our ad says: ‘We’re ready to believe you.’” Valence said. “It doesn’t mean we will. We’d have to investigate every story from every vagabond and bindlestiff that came off the street.”

“So, does anypony live in that apartment with you?” Swift asked.

“No, I live alone.” Coco replied.

“And are you with anypony right now?” Swift asked.

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Coco asked.

“Hey, I’m a scientist.” Swift said. “More specifically, a parapsychologist. That means that I have to know from what angle these entities might try to come after you from.”

“Uh huh.” Coco replied with hesitation. “So what was with the ‘Zuul’ I heard the voice say?”

“Now that’s really interesting.” Valence said. “It almost doesn’t sound like a growl or a cry. More like an actual name.”

“We’ll need to cross reference it with the spirit guide or deity catalogue.” Neutrona said.

“What do you think?” Vay asked. “Neighponese, Nhorse, Eghippotan?”

“Maybe even of lesser known lore.” Neutrona said.

“Great, while you two work on that, I’ll head back with Ms. Pommel and check her…apartment out for any signs of entities.” Swift said, catching himself. Coco still quirked a brow at the obvious error.

“I’m going to need to borrow some of your analysis gear, Neutrona.” Swift said.

“Sure, take the air filter, and the goggles.” She said, levitating the devices over. “And take a sample dish in case of any ectoplasm. Anything to help you check the apartment out.”

“Thanks.” Swift said dryly, and escorted Coco down the stairs and out of the fire house.

“I’m not really one to root for somepony being haunted, but I really do hope this lead is good.” Vay said to his sister. “We’re going to need the credibility of a client if we want more ponies to call us for our services.”

“She seems sincere,” Neutrona said. “and I think there was a real sense of fear she had. Most of the ponies who faked it usually don’t appear as dishelved as she did. And then there was that name, ‘Zuul’.

“Definitely not a run of the mill name.” Vay said. “Speaking of which.” He levitated a massive book over and opened it. “I’ll get cracking. It’s a good thing that these books aren’t in high demand anywhere else. I swear, so many of the rarer reference materials seem to always be checked out to Ponyville.”

Valence began flipping through the pages. “Aneighbus, Atheneigha …”

////

Coco opened the door to her apartment with a great degree of hesitancy.

“Let me go through first.” Swift said. “If something happens, I want it to happen to me first. Especially if it’s a surprise party.”

Coco gave a confused look. “It’s not my birthday…” she said.

“Oh, maybe it’ll be for me then.” Swift said as he burst through the door.

Silence greeted the two of them as they made their way into the abode.

Swift turned on the lights. “Gah!” he yelled, seeing the many ponyquines around the room. “You know, the idea of ghosts, I’ve come to grips with, but there’s just something about ponyquines I’ll never get over.”

Coco sighed and moved over and in front of Swift. “I told you all I was in the fashion business.” She set about moving various fabrics onto the couch.

Swift was using the device Neutrona gave him around the apartment. He squeezed the suction part of the device with his wing and looked around the apartment.

“Nice place you got here.” Swift said as he moved over to an adjacent room and investigated it.”

“That’s my bedroom. You don’t need to go in there.” Coco said.

“Why, you’ve got a dungeon in there?” Swift asked.

Coco paused and then blushed. “N-No!” she stammered out.

“I was talking about a dungeon to summon demons.” Swift said with a smirk.

Coco’s nervous blush turned to a cross look. “Can you check the kitchen?” They moved over to find the remnants of the egg massacre on the floor.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you killed the eggs.” Swift said.

“It was a whole lot scarier when it happened.” Coco replied.

“You should probably clean this up as soon as you can. Eggs stink when you leave them out long enough.” Swift said.

“I’d really appreciate checking the fridge, Dr. Swift Guess.” Coco said.

Swift cautiously opened the appliance and peeked in. “There’s definitely a shrine.” He said.

Coco wore a look of concern.

“I’d even go as far as to call it a monument to gluttony. You’ve got all this food, for one pony?”

“Hey! I’m not a glutton! I happen to buy in bulk to save money for the apartment!” Coco said in protest before focusing her attention to the normal fridge. “No, wait! What happened to the monsters? The glowing skyscape?!”

“Look, I’m not one to judge,” Swift said. “But are you using hallucinogens?”

“No! I’m serious. There were monsters and everything!”

“There really doesn’t look like anything is awry.” Swift said.

“Great, I’m losing it, because the ponies who are supposed to believe me, don’t believe me.” Coco said, growing exasperated. “And if anypony finds out that I’m seeing things that aren’t there, there goes my chances at a fashion line!”

“I don’t think you’re crazy.” Swift said. “I see those dresses on display, creepy as it is with all those ponyquines, I know there’s somepony with the same problems as me! We all want to make it big.”

Coco stepped back when his voice began to escalate. “Look, Swift Guess, I know you haven’t been able to help me, but I don’t think you need to psychoanalyze me.” She said.

“Ms. Pommel, I can’t help it if I am so into my work that it shows.” Swift said. “We’ve all got dreams. Mine of conducting midair psych sessions was cut short by a misunderstanding, but you, you’re still at it, and I admire that.”

Swift held the device to his side. “Tell you what. I’m going to help your dream the only way I know how.” He took a step forward and flared his wings. Swift Guess is going to be the pony to solve your problem.”

“That’s… nice of you.” Coco said, leading Swift to the door. “Okay, bye!” she pushed the pushy pegaus outside into the hall.

Swift noticed the pony down the hall give him the stink eye, before heading back into his own apartment.

////

“Rice balls from a Neighponese restaurant. Not too bad for our only feast from our only client.” Vay said. The three would be paranormal eliminators sat at a table on the second floor of the firehouse.

“So, what’s the re-sale value on all the equipment and materials?” Swift asked.

“Probably not very high.” Neutrona said. “We’ve already turned all the materials into the gear, and even if I decided we should sell it, it’s not like anypony knows what to do with it.”

“Worse yet, if word gets out we made and sold this stuff, the Anti-Necromancy Bureau would probably try to blame us for anything that might have happened.

“Hence our, ‘Paranormal Investigation’ tagline.” Swift said, concluding.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Becky had been using her dragon fire ability to converse with a pony not far from the fire house.

Oh good, I was worried that the fliers were a joke.

-Definitely not a joke. Becky wrote. We’re here to offer the services on the ads.

We’ve been having trouble at our convention center, “The Hedge”. A certain spirit has always been here, but as of late it’s been more and more of a problem. Can your ponies capture it?

-They certainly can. If you’d like, we can expedite your job to tonight.

That would be great, we’ve got an array of events planned, and we’d much appreciate not alarming any of our guests.

-Oh, they’ll be discrete, I can assure you, just send the address.

Becky sent out the last note before looking towards the ceiling. She realized the polite thing to do would have been to go upstairs and tell them they had a call to go help, but Becky also noticed the red button nearby.

She wore an evil grin and then pressed it, sounding the alarm. Moments later, she heard the panic upstairs followed by a trio of ponies attempting to slide down the pole all at once.

The dragon casually walked up to them. “Hey, looks like you’ve got a field call. Somepony at the convention center, ‘The Hedge’ wants you to take care of a ghost.”

“So there isn’t a fire?” Valence said from underneath Swift.

Becky belched out a note and passed it to Valence. “Here’s the address. Go do you’re thing.”

The scientists scrambled to their hooves and sped to their lockers. They dressed themselves in beige flight suits and loaded the proton saddle packs onto the cart Vay had repaired.

It was painted a sleek white with red trim. On the side, the company logo adorned the craft.

As Valence and Swift hooked themselves to the cart, Neutrona used her magic to power the lights of this strange craft.

“This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve ever been near.” Swift said. The siren flared. “The weirdest.”

////

After some maniacal maneuvering of the streets of Manehattan, getting puzzled looks from each pony they passed, they arrived at their destination.

“Suffice it to say, I don’t think we’ll be the strangest looking ponies here.” Valence said.

“Have you not seen what we’re wearing?” Swift replied “Or our equipment that lights up like a Hearth’s Warming decoration?” He turned around to see a crowd of ponies wearing varying costumes.

One pony in particular, dressed in a fancy suit, approached the team.

Oh thank Celestia you’re here!” he said.

“So, where is it?” Swift asked, moving with the coordinator.

Neutrona and Valence had set to scanning the area.

“Well, that’s the problem, we really don’t know.” The coordinator said. “We usually plan our events around where we think it’ll be. We set out food to keep it distracted and away from the main areas.”

“You feed it?” Swift asked. “Can ghosts eat food, Neutrona?”

“Not exactly.” She replied. “They can manipulate objects, but not really digest them.”

“It’s true, but we’ve seen what it leaves behind.” The coordinator said. “Just a bunch of chewed up food on the ground.”

“That just ruined my appetite.” Vay said.

“We’ve found that as long as we leave food out for it, it doesn’t cause problems, but lately its been leaving the um…’offerings’ alone. We have a lot of ponies visit our area and we don’t need them being terrified by that ghost.”

“Don’t worry.” Vay said. “We take care of these things all of the time!” Swift and Neutrona exchanged concerned looks.

////

“It just occurred to me that we never had a field test of this equipment.” Valence said as the trio made their way through the secluded section of the center.

“It’s a little late for that.” Swift said.

“I blame myself.” Neutrona said.

“Well, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Swift said. “If we blow up anything, the whole city will blame all three of us.”

“I suppose it could be worse.” Neutrona said. “One of my earlier concept designs didn’t use our own magic for power. I was looking at using more…precarious energy sources.”

“Imagine if those packs ever went critical.” Vay said.

“So, how am I supposed to use this thing anyways?” Swift asked as he grabbed a wand with his wing and gave it a curious look.

“Just flip the switch on the pack.” Vay said.

An audible revving of energy was heard as each pony powered on their proton saddle packs.

Swift stopped in his tracks. “That’s kind of tingly, are your sure this won’t electrocute me?”

“You’ll be fine.” Neutrona said. “Just don’t try flying while you’re using it.”

A door creaked open in the dark back halls of the event center. A stallion in a green, roleplaying costume emerged casually from the restroom.

The scientists fired their streams, luckily for Poindexter, the shots went wide and only singed the wall around him.

“Sorry!” Valence said.

Poindexter only wore a wide look as he turned around and walked away and muttered to himself.

“Well, at least we didn’t blow up with that first test.” Swift said.

“Okay, we need to split up if we’re going to find the ghost.” Valence said.

“After that demonstration?” Swift asked. “Sure,why not?”

The sounds from the events and the ponies gathered at them could still be heard, muffled from the back corridors. The area was essentially devoid of the presence of any other pony. Swift was regretting his decision to spit up, he was bored and couldn’t tease the others.

Neutrona had her PKE goggles on was inspecting just about every inch of the hallway for a sign of the ghost, which is what led to her not moving more than ten feet from where they initially divided.

Valence held a normal pace as he rounded every corner with the expectation that there would be something there. Finally, he’d decided that he’d stop for a snack.

Valence pulled out a plastic wrapped oatmeal cream pie from his suit’s pocket. He heard a noise in the distance, and turned his head to see where it came from, only for a gust of wind to blow past him and snatch the snack away.

He looked around in confusion, but his eyes grew wide as he saw the thief.

The ghost glowed green and took the shape of a pudgy earth pony, except its back half was little more than an ethereal trail. It tore open the snack’s wrapping and scarfed down the treat, its yellow eyes glowing in content.

“What a disgusting blob.” Vay said. He switched on his pack and then fired a proton stream. A wavy beam of orange energy, surrounded by glue electric currents flew straight at the ghost, but the phantasm took notice at the last second and dodged.

The ghost screamed and fled into the nearest wall, leaving ectoplasm and cake crumbs as a memento.

“Oh boy.” Vay said.

////

Swift’s stride had decreased as he grew more and more bored. And then the ghost rounded the corner. Swift was immediately put off by its appearance.

“Okay, the librarian could have passed for a cute mare in a costume, but you are definitely not cute.” Swift said.

The ghost grunted in confusion and then began to charge as menacingly as it would at Swift. The vapor was kind of slow to begin with, so Swift wasn’t all that concerned. Earth ponies could trot faster than this thing.

Swift braced himself to fly over it, but something was keeping him down. The pack didn’t weigh that much, but Swift’s wings just couldn’t lift him. “The pack!” he shouted aloud as he remembered Neutrona’s warning about it drawing from his magic.

It was too late to turn it off, Swift then felt as if a room full of ponies sneezed on him at once, knocking him over in a puddle of ectoplasm.

Valence rounded the corner, gasping for air. “Hey Swift, I found it!” I chased over this…way…”

“He slimed me.” Swift replied flatly.

“Are you hurt?” Valence asked, offering a hoof.

“Just my pride.” Swift replied and was helped up. “I feel so funky.”

Neutrona approached the two of them, still engrossed with her PKE scanning. She trotted up to Swift, and then poked him with a hoof, looked at her hoof, and then collected a sample of the ectoplasm.

“Okay, I’ve got a bead on the ghost.” She looked around with her goggles to search for its path. “It’s headed over there, to one of the larger areas.” She pointed her hoof.

////

“There’s a banquet fundraiser in this room.” The event coordinator said. “Please take care of it before it eats everything.”

“Don’t worry, we’re professionals.” Swift said. “Just make sure nopony comes in here for their own safety.”

The scientists closed and locked the door behind them.

Tables of food and cakes were elegantly arranged everywhere.

“They put on quite the spread.” Valence said and looked over to see their ghost scarfing down the food at one end of a table. “Don’t give it a chance to run off again, let’s flank it!”

Each pony moved to a different part of the room. The ghost was too distracted by the food to take notice or care that the team was moving about the room.

“Now!” Swift said, and they fired their proton streams. One shot knocked the ghost into another stream, sending it careening way from the tables into the air.

“One more thing!” Neutrona said. “Don’t cross the streams.”

“What?” Swift asked.

“It’s dangerous.” Neutrona replied.

“Aside from firing charged particles?” Swift asked.

The ghost charged again, only for Vay to snare it in his proton stream. The ghost began to flail and drag the unicorn around the room, knocking over tables of food.

“Try to imagine, every molecule in your body exploding instantaneously.” Neutrona said.

The ghost broke free of the stream, sending it and Vay sprawling apart from each other. Vay rolled up to Neutrona and Swift. “Total protonic reversal Swift.”

“I’d prefer my molecules not exploding.” Swift replied. “Where’s that spud of a ghost anyways?”

The dazed apparition groggily returned to the air, holding a plasmic hoof to its head. “Ow…”

Another proton stream blasted by it.

“No, stop!” it pleaded in a voice as slimy as it appeared.

The scientists stopped their barrage for a moment.

“You’ve been causing a fair amount of trouble.” Neutrona said with her wand still pointed and ready to fire.

“Slimer not mean to bother other ponies!” the ghost said. “But they’re so cheap! They only put the good stuff out here!”

“We can’t have you bothering everypony here every time you get ‘hungry’.” Neutrona said.

“We could take him back with us!” Valence replied. “As long as you promise not to eat everything!”

“Hey, this creep slimed me and we’re just going to let it slide?” Swift said as he readied to fire another proton stream.

“Slimer sorry, Slimer sorry!” the ghost said, waving his front hooves in the air defensively.

“We’re gonna need you to get in the trap.” Valence said, throwing a small grey box attached with a wire. “That way, ponies here know that you are with us.”

“It’ll be a good test to see the trap functionality.” Neutrona said.

“Does it hurt?” Sllimer asked.

“It shouldn’t in theory.” Neutrona said.

“Okay.” Slimer said.

“One, two, three, no takebacks!” Swift counted rapidly and stomping a hoof on the trap, sucking in Slimer in a brilliant light.

The device closed, it emitted some electrical charge around it and a small red light began flickering.

“He’s in there.” Neutrona said.

////

The trio emerged from the room with a steaming trap aloft in the air.

“You captured it?” the coordinator asked.

“Affirmative.” Vay said. “It was a class 5, floating, non-repeating phantasm. But you’re good to go.”

“Okay, now down to payments.” Swift said, coming to the front of the group. “There is a fee for incarceration of the beast, as well as one for proton saddle pack recharging.”

Vay leaned in and asked his sister. “They don’t need recharging. We told him it uses a pony’s own-“

Neutrona put a hoof on his muzzle.

“So that will only be about five grand.” Swift finished.

“Five-thousand bits?” the coordinator asked incredulously. “I had no idea it would be so much. I won’t pay it.”

“Oh, that’s fine.” Swift said. “The little creep looked awfully hungry, I’m sure he won’t mind another go at your little feast.”

The three of them turned to go back into the event room before being grabbed by the coordinator. “Five-thousand bits is a great deal!”

“Pleasure doing business with you.” Vay said as the Ghostbusters made their way through the crowd of ponies that had gathered.

Now Hiring!

When they returned to the firehouse, Becky was standing in front of her desk, looking expectant of the news. “So do I still have a job, or am I going to have to update my resume again?”

Vay set down the trap and opened it, setting Slimer free. The ghost shook himself like a dog, thankfully not splattering slime anywhere.

Becky’s eyes grew wide. “Color me impressed.” She said. “but I thought you were going to keep ghosts in that ‘containment grid’ of yours?”

“Not this one.” Vay said. “He’s pretty friendly.” Swift scooped some slime from his mane and rubbed it in Vay’s face. “After some negotiation.” The unicorn continued.

“Nice place you got.” Slimer said. “Any food?”

“Yeah, after we cash the check.” Vay replied.

Swift gave a folded piece of paper to Becky.

Her brow quirked as she read the amount. “Now that’s helpful.” She replied.

“Well, it should be able to cover our base costs for a while.” Neutrona said, levitating a pen and notepad for her calculations.

“Yeah, this could have been a fluke.” Swift said.

Just then, Becky belched out a flame with a message. She looked over it and asked. “So are you going to be available tomorrow morning?”

////

It didn’t take long for news to spread about a group of ponies offering paranormal elimination services around the clock.

They found that many ghosts weren’t nearly as negotiable as Slimer and were forced to capture a great deal of spirits.

Stranger yet, were the shapes that the ghosts took, many of them hardly resembled anything equine. Some ghosts looked like spiders, some only a mist, but true to Neutrona’s research, they could all be weakened and snared by the proton stream.

As more jobs were completed, the company was slowly pulling itself out of the red, and they were able to get the word out further about their services.

Newspapers began headlining about the escapades of the Ghostbusters in the city. One Coco Pommel looked at her latest edition of the paper.

Sport Gear Stocks Soarin on Wonderbolt Endorsements

Ghostbusters Clear out Wharves

Secretariat Comet Passing by Soon

As she continued working on another series of dresses, Coco wondered if a certain pegasus would actual deliver on his promise.

////

Fan mail flooded the office daily. To Becky’s fortune, it wasn’t being sent through her dragon fire. Swift fed on the attention and set about taking interviews for papers and magazines. Though, it didn’t save him from Valence bursting in through the doors during the interviews to bring him along on a job.

He also loved the attention he’d gotten from the mares of Manehattan. There were plenty of offers for dates, but while he would have loved to go out with them, one fashion designer stayed on his mind.

By far, Nuetrona was getting the bulk of the love letters. All it took was a few photos of her in the paper to gain a fanbase that even Swift had to admit made him jealous.

She’d pick up a stack of envelopes, rifle through them, and then throw all of the ones with hearts into the recycling bin.

Vay wasn’t without romantic pursuit either. Either by too much study or by sheer obsession, work and pleasure collided on more than one occasion for Valence. A wonderful, wispy, pegasus mare would enter Valence’s subconsciousness on plenty of nights and would land on top of him in his sleep.

They’d whisper sweet nothings to each other and speak on many things.

////

Becky sat at her desk, interviewing a slew of ponies. Most seemed overeager just to simply be in the Ghostbusters’ firehouse. After each unqualified applicant, she only let out a “Next!”, each time, growing more frustrated.

One pony, a brown pegasus with a grey mane, brought out a camera and took a picture before Becky could even ask the first question. She glared at him.

The pegasus spoke, “Oh, I thought this was the line for tours. Sorry!”

The next applicant that sat sown was a yellow earth pony mare with a black mane, but before she could say anything, Becky had jumped the gun. “Next!”

“Now hold on a minute!” the mare said in protest. “You didn’t even ask me anything!”

“Sorry, we’ve just had a sea of unqualified applicants.” Becky said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Do you have experience that we could use?”

“I served in the Equestrian Guard for ten years.” The mare replied.

“This job is more a scientific position.” Becky said. “What experience to you have with the world of the bizarre?”

“Served at the palace during the Discord incident.” The mare said. “Spent my time guarding the front gate of the palace as a potted plant.”

“What’s your name?” Becky asked.

“Firm Ground.” The earth pony replied.

The dragon called out to Valence and Swift Guess, who had just come in from a bust, trotting in exhausted.

“I’ve finally got a qualified applicant.” Becky said. “Meet Firm Ground, military experience-“

“Great, you’re hired.” Vay said. “I’m Dr. Valence, this is Dr. Swift Guess, and our engineer is Dr. Neutrona. Ms. Becky, can you have Ms. Ground sign a contract.”

“You got it.” Becky replied and then burped another message. “You’ve got another job.”

The two Ghostbusters sighed, but Neutrona came down the stairs and offered to help.

“I’ll head out with her on this one.” Neutrona said as she began suiting up. “You’ll be briefed on our equipment. This will be an on the job learning experience.”

The two of them departed from the fire house.

Becky turned to Swift and spoke. “By the way, you’ve got company in your office. A griffon from the Anti-Necromancy Bureau.

Swift looked over with a scowl. “Can’t it wait?”

Becky then burped up a pile of messages. “If you’d like, you can take another job. I’ve been holding onto these for a while now.” Becky said and reached over for a bottle of antacids.

“I’ll talk to the pencil pusher.” Swift said and moved over to his office.

He saw the thin framed griffon pacing about his office, scrutinizing the disorderly state. He also saw that Slimer had hidden himself in the water cooler. Swift picked up his pace to distract the Griffon.

“Gawker Peck, Anti-Necromancy Bureau, Equestria to Griffonstone ambassador.” He offered a claw to shake.

“Dr. Swift Guess.” The pegasus replied, offering a slimy hoof, that Peck recoiled from shaking. It was enough for Slimer to sneak out of the office and head upstairs.

“So, you have a little paranormal establishment here.” Peck said. “And from the looks of it, there’s more than a little card shop here for tarot reading?”

“We help ponies having that are having spiritual problems.” Swift said. “Paranormal eliminations are to help convince ghosts to stop haunting ponies.”

“Cut the semantics. You catch ghosts.” Peck replied. “I’m here to find out what you do with those ghosts.”

“Well, if we did catch ghosts, they’d be put into a containment grid. Safe from the public.” Swift said.

“And I’d be certain that if that containment grid functioned properly. It wouldn’t be far off.” Peck said. “And I would assume that you’d show me that grid if I asked?”

“How about a drink?” Swift asked moving towards the water cooler.

“Sure.” Peck replied.

Swift poured a small cup from the cooler. The green liquid perturbed Peck.

“It’s a sample of our latest line of products. Ecto Cooler.” Swift said. “So, why would you want to see a containment grid?”

“I’m sure you know that when anyone starts amassing their own little collection of spirits, not of the drinking variety, it might be used for some unsavory practices.”

“Well, that would be a huge problem.” Swift said. “But how am I to know that a member of the Anti-Necromancy Bureau isn’t somepony dangerous and trying to conduct some sort of necromantic ritual?”

He smirked at the griffon. “Imagine, it’s the perfect cover! Your organization is always rooting out necromancy, what better way to find great sources of spiritual energy than by using the bureau’s resources to find them?”

Swift sat down at his desk, and noted the look of confusion and horror that Gawker wore. “You’re right. I’ve never thought of it that way.”

The griffon downed the drink and left the office. “Thank you, your theory was impeccable. We shall conduct a re-evaluation of our agents.”

////

Neutrona provided Firm Ground with a spare flight suit and proton saddle pack. The newcomer quickly donned it and noted how it didn’t cover her cutie mark of an armored pony with a shield. The two ponies had taken to trotting down the sidewalk to their next job.

“Nice to see Becky finally approved of somepony to get hired.” Neutrona said. “So what made you decided to join the field of paranormal investigation?”

“Served my duty in the guard.” Firm Ground said. “I was ready for a career change. Private business seemed like a nice shift at first, but sometimes it just felt so boring. And then I saw your ad in the papers.”

They rounded the corner of the street, more ponies taking notice of the Ghostbusters on hoof.

“I mean, I’m not in any mortal peril on this job.” Firm Ground said.

Neutrona looked at Firm Ground and waved a hoof in the air. “Well, there are some risks of curses and possession, but as of now, our company has seen zero instances of such.”

The two mares arrived at a Neighponese restaurant.

“I knew the address seemed familiar.” Neutrona said.” They reported something of a violent disturbance here-“ a chair came flying through the glass window.

Ponies came galloping out in a panic, and the mares entered the establishment.

Inside, they found the ghost of a pony wielding a samurai sword. He was chopping up tables and whatever he could find.

“He’s going to destroy the restaurant!” the proprietor, an earth pony mare in a kimono said. “You’ve got to stop him!”

At the moment, the light blue ghost was content with dicing up the furniture.

“Has it always been here?” Neutrona asked.

“No, it only showed up when we debuted an old family recipe for fried rice.” The businessmare said.

“My family’s recipe was better!” the ghost yelled, and turned his attention their way.

Neutrona fired a proton stream, staving off the attack.

“Isn’t there some way we can solve this peacefully?” Firm Ground asked.

“Some ghosts can be reasoned with, and co-habituate with ponies well.” Neutrona said.

“I WILL DESTROY YOU AND YOUR LEGACY!” the apparition roared.

“Others have to be dealt with quickly before things escalate.” Neutrona said and fired another stream, but the ghost used his sword to keep the charged particles at bay.

“I’d been looking forward to an earth pony joining us.” Neutrona said. “ The pack you have has been equipped with neutron wands to be equipped on your fetlocks to fire the proton stream from.”

The ghost was pushing back the stream.

“Flick the switch on and fire a stream at the ghost!” Neutrona said. “And don’t let the streams collide!”

Firm Ground did as instructed and sent a charged stream of proton particles at the ghost’s openside. The stream latched onto a hoof of the ghost, distracting it and allowing Neutrona to wrangle his other hoof.

The ghost swung with its sword at the streams and severed them.

“Neutrona, hit him again!” Firm Ground said. And another proton stream flew at the ghost.

He readied to block again, but Firm Ground shot a stream that grabbed the ghost by the hoof once more. She tugged at the stream to slam the ghost, knocking the ethereal sword away.

Neutrona then snared the ghost by its other hoof once more and threw down a trap. “Don’t look!” she said just before stomping.

The ghost was then pulled in with a satisfying beep following the trap’s closure.

////

Having acquired another check, the two Ghostbusters made their way back to the fire house. Neutrona was busy looking over her notes, her attention back to her studies now that the job was completed.

“So, was that a usual job?” Firm Ground asked.

“Usually there’s more slime.” Neutrona replied. “Nice work with disarming the ghost.”

“You pick up a few tricks in the guard.” Firm Ground said. She looked at the other mare, who hadn’t been looking at her the whole time. “Are you always this engrossed with your work?”

“It’s some research I’ve been trying to complete for one of our clients.” Neutrona said. “The name Zuul has been eluding us for some time now, you’d think it have been in the Z section of our materials.”

“Oh hey, that sounds like a name from one of the stories I came across in my undergrad years.” Firm Ground said. “Yeah, I think it was when we were studying Hooftite and Sumareian civilizations. I studied history by the way.”

Neutrona levitated her notepad down and brought out a pen.

“Zuul was a minion I believe.” Firm Ground waved a hoof in the air as if to jog her memory. “Related to some old deity called Grazer.”

“Well, that certainly explains a lot then, we thought Zuul was a more prominent figure.” Neutrona said as she and Firm Ground went inside the firehouse.

Valence was waiting for the mares to meet him in the basement to demonstrate the containment grid.

“So this is where we store all of the vapors, entities, and slimers that we trap.” He said.

Slimer floated from behind the Ghostbuster. “Hey!” the ghost exclaimed.

“Except him, he’s friendly.” Vay said. “Our containment unit is made of varying materials that help insulate the ghosts from escaping. From rare metals to special crystals from the Crystal Empire.”

Valence took the trap from their latest bust and moved it into the receptacle on the grid. “It’s as simple as pulling a few switches. In the end, a green light means the trap is clean.”

“In addition to her first bust, Firm Ground has also given us some headway into our case with Coco Pommel.” Neutrona said.

The three of them made their way out of the basement and towards the second floor. “Great, this stuff has been bugging me for a long time.” Vay said. “Though that means Swift will want to be the one to deliver the news.”

Author's Note

Special thanks to FanOfMostEverything for coming up with a horse name for the Destructor's Equestrian form.

Only Zuul!

Coco Pommel Wheeled out another line of dresses that, once again, just didn’t seem to catch eyes. She began her trek down the sidewalk back to her apartment. There was an odd looking pegasus wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap conspicuously reading a newspaper.

One look at his cutie mark and she sighed. “I’m not sure your disguise is that great.” She said to Swift.

“Depends on who I’m trying to hide from.” Swift replied, joining her on her trot back home. “So we figured out who Zuul was.”

Coco’s eyes widened.

“I thought that might renew your faith in me.” Swift said, smiling. “So, Zuul was a minion of Grazer, very important guy in ancient times.”

“But why is he in my apartment?” Coco asked.

“Well, Valence and Neutrona are hitting the books, trying to find out why somepony from a Sumareian civilization is messing with a fashion designer.” Swift said.

“Yes, that’s why they growl and send little egg monsters after you.” Coco replied. “They’re being affectionate.”

“Well, you’re still living there, so it can’t be all that bad.” Swift said.

“It sort of stopped after your visit.” Coco said.

“See, that’s how good our services are.” Swift said. “One visit and your ghosts are afraid of us.”

As the two of them approached Coco’s building, Swift ventured further. “But while we’re talking about entities that are fans, I could come back later and help check and see if Zuul is gone for good.”

Coco smiled and rolled her eyes. “Sure, you can come by tonight, and you can see that everything is safe.” And she went into her building.

////

“Things are getting a little crazy as of late.” Neutrona said.

“I mean, we’re busy now, so I don’t know what you mean.” Vay said, while having a snack.

Slimer was scarfing down boxes of yellow snack cakes in the kitchen of the firehouse while three of the Ghostbusters were taking a break upstairs.

“I took a reading of the PKE energies this morning and they’re very high.” Neutrona said.

“Well, the Secretariat Comet is passing by, there’s probably a spike in energy everywhere.” Vay replied.

“Its increasingly higher in Manehattan than anywhere else.” Neutrona said. “Something is brewing in this city, and we should probably be very concerned.”

“Okay, so how much energy are we talking about?” Firm Ground asked.

Neutrona levitated a pack of snack cakes in the air. She pulled one out and unwrapped it. “Let’s say this twinkie is the normal amount of PKE energy in Manehattan normally has.” She then emptied the box onto a table. “This is how much is in each city due to the comet.”

“And Manehattan?” Firm Ground asked.

“We could fill the firehouse with twinkies from today’s amount.” Neutrona said.

“That’s a lot of twinkies.” Firm Ground replied.

“What’s all this about twinkies?” Swift said as he came upstairs. “Did Vay or Slimer eat them all?”

“Weirdness abound and inbound.” Vay said. “PKE readings are on the rise.”

“Well, that means we’ll probably get another visit from Gawker Peck.” Swift said.

“You didn’t antagonize him, did you?” Vay asked.

“I only put a little idea into that bird brain of his so that he’d ease off on us.” Swift said.

“Do you think he’ll come back specifically to us?” Neutrona asked.

“Is he from the Anti-Necromancy Bureau, then he’ll definitely be back.” Firm Ground said.

“I guess I’ll have to cook up another excuse to keep him away then.” Swift said.

////

Atop the apartment building where Coco Pommel lived was a grandiose display of construction. Structures with diagonally slanted slopes and stairs adorned the area. Stone obelisks poked into the sky, glowing with energy from astronomical forces.

There was a large, grotesque mural in the direct center of the structures. And in front of it were a pair of fierce looking statues that overlooked the city. The time had come, energy coalesced into the beasts and something from inside began to stir.

Claws began to break free and a piercing red gaze came forth form the eyes.

////

Poindexter was excited to have so many ponies join his game session of Ogres and Oubliettes

There were so many that had shown up, he had to limit to a party size of six, so he had the others grab snacks and sit back to watch the game unfold.

It was getting stuffy, so he decided to open the windows and doors of his apartment, just in time to see coco Pommel on her way to her apartment.

“Hi Coco!” he said.

“Oh hi!” Coco replied, being as polite as possible.

“Hey, we filled up our game, but if you’d like, there’s a place to chat it up and watch our game unfold!” Poindexter said.

“I’m actually busy tonight.” Coco said. “I’m having a date actually.”

“Oh…” Poindexter said, but perked up again. “If you want, the two of you can swing by for a few snacks and a chance to watch our game!”

“We’ll see if we can, Poindexter.” Coco said closing the door to her apartment.

She set about looking through her dresses on display, wondering which one of them she should wear. Just the thought about dating somepony famous, a Ghostbuster, made her feel a little giddy. She thought about how she could redesign their uniforms into something a little more appealing.

“Oh, a dark grey or black variant would look nice” She said, already setting aside fabrics to design. “Oh Coco, let’s put business aside just for once tonight.” And she made her way into her kitchen. “Maybe I should make something for dinner.”

A large, grey, leathery skinned beast pounced on the earth pony before she could react. Its eyes glowed red against the darkness of the half-lit room. Its maw opened, dripping drool on top of Coco. The mare herself was in a state of pure shock just as the creature sunk its teeth into her neck.

She couldn’t even scream, but instead of flesh being rendered from her, the creature turned ethereal and sunk into her body, leaving the pony on the floor, perfectly still.

////

Poindexter sat at the head of his table, behind a small screen of cardboard. “Your guide says that you’re just about though the woods, but its filled with all sorts of threats. Danger could jump out for anywhere.” He said and looked at the brown pegaus with a grey mane, seated across from him.

“Moe Zone, you’re up next. What do you want to do?” Poindexter asked.

The stallion looked over his character sheets. “Let’s see, my character has scrying and sense evil.” Moe Zone said in a chill voice. “Mzona takes out her holy symbol and uses ‘detect evil’.”

“Okay, roll.” Poindexter said.

The pegasus tossed the die.

“A twenty! Sweet!” Moe Zone said.

“There’s something lying in wait just a few paces ahead of you.” Poindexter said, his voice growing grave. “It’s extremely dangerous, something from ancient times. Your guide begins to grow nervous when Mzona is just staring intently behind him.”

Everypony in the room leaned in with Poindexters delivery.

“It’s ready to strike, but the rest of the party was alerted by a menacing growl, the beast knew it had been discovered.” Poindexter said.

Just then, a growl emanated from a closet behind Poindexter. He turned inquisitively to see where it was coming from. Then a crash, a monster, just as the one that attacked Coco Pommel, burst forth.

In the light, it looked even more alien than anything in Equestria.

The monster eyed Poindexter and began chasing him about the room. Every other pony looked on with curiosity.

“Ahh!” Poindexter screamed.

Moe Zone brought out a camera and took a picture. “The DM’s so committed to the campaign. So exciting.” He said and then the creature chased Poindexter out into the hallway.

The elevator didn’t respond, so the chase continued down the dozens of stairs of the building with Poindexter fleeing straight out of the apartment building, and into the city park.

The creature cleared hurdles and was closing in on the earth pony. Poindexter just had to keep running, but then stumbled and rolled into a pond. The creature dove into the water after him. Bubbles rose form the pond until nothing came out for nearly a minute.

Then, Poindexter emerged out of the water and shook himself dry. His eyes glowed red and he stared at the sky before letting out a roar, or as best a roar that Poindexter could usher. “Rarrr!”

He took off, aimless of where to go next. He ran about sputtering otherwise incoherent messages to everypony he passed by, things about monsters, moons, shrews and the like.

Citizens just looked away and pretended not to notice him.

“The destructor is coming!” Poindexter said, running down the block leading to the firehouse. “The crystal paths will come soon enough!”

Meanwhile, Neutrona’s PKE meter went off and she looked down through her window to see the rambling mad pony in front of the firehouse.

“Ms. Becky, outside!” Neutrona called to their secretary. She asked Swift to help her since Vay and Firm ground had been called out again.

Becky was the first to come up to Poindexter. “Are you the gatekeeper?” he asked.

“What?” Becky replied. “This is a door.”

Neutrona burst out form the door with PKE goggles. “We should take him inside.”

“Just like that?” Swift said, barely catching up.

“I am Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Grazer.” Poindexter said. The name instantly catching the Ghostbuster’s attention.

“Now I remember this guy.” Swift said. “He lives in the same building as Coco Pommel.” And flew from the firehouse.

“Swift, wait!” Neutrona said, to no avail. “Vince,” she said, trying to appease the entity. “You said you served Grazer?”

The three of them moved upstairs, Becky and Neutrona eyeing each other with caution.

“Yes, we’ve been preparing for the return of Grazer for some time now.” Poindexter said. “The stars have finally aligned, our master will be free once the ritual is complete, when Keymaster and Gatekeeper gather and perform the ritual to manifest Grazer into this realm.”

Poindexter’s smile grew sincere, with a trace of madness. “Grazer has come before, but his absence has been a time of boredom and sorrow.” His eyes grew wide with excitement. “The last time, Grazer took the form of a giant slor! He razed much of the land, it was a great moment for us I can tell you!”

Becky pulled Neutrona aside. “Look, truth be told, I took this job because I actually was curious about the paranormal. When I was younger, those types of stories were my favorite. But this pony is starting to scare me. And between you and me, you’re the only pony around here that if push comes to shove, I’d really look out for. Something terrifying is coming.”

“Let’s be rational.” Neutrona said, “Nothing’s happened yet. We still have time.”

////

Firm Ground and Valence pulled the cart down the streets of Manehattan.

“As it turns out, coco Pommels’s building is filled with all sorts of strangeness.” Vay said. “I wonder what the hay is going on with that.”

“Like what?” Firm Ground asked.

“The materials the ponies used to build it for starters.” Vay said. “It’s like something is using the metals in the building for a ritual.”

“Look at the stories in the news,” Firm ground said. “Reports of cockatrice attacking Canterlot, and changelings in Ponyville. I’ve even heard that the bearers of the Elements of Harmony aren’t even in the country right now.”

“You know, there were reports in the paper about the Secretariat Comet passing over. I bet that’s what’s been giving energy to all these sorts of occurrences.” Vay said. “All those places are being affected by the amassing energy. I’d hate to think what would happen if we didn’t have the Princesses or the Elements of Harmony to come to our aid in a time of crisis.”

Firm Ground turned to Vay. “Sort of like right now?”

Valence only twisted his neck in uncomfortable silence. “How about some donuts before we head back?”

“Yeah, sure.” Firm Ground replied.

////

Swift made his way back to Coco’s apartment to find the police in front of Poindexter’s flat to see them interviewing a pegasus.

“Yeah, I thought it was part of the game, like Poindexter was having a friend run around in a monster suit, but after he didn’t come back, and we ate all the snacks, we thought something was wrong.”

Swift passed the conversation and knocked on Coco’s door. A very different Coco Pommel answered. Her mane was let down, she was wearing a red tattered dress, and spoke much differently. “Are you the Keymaster?” she asked.

The parapsychologist played the game. “Yes, I am.”

“We must prepare for the coming of Grazer.” Coco said seductively. “The time for the destructor is upon us.”

“And how does that go down exactly?” Swift asked.

“A carnal arcane ritual.” Coco replied. She grabbed Swift and pulled him to her room.

Swift noted the ectoplasm on the walls of the apartment and the destroyed ponyquines.

Coco threw him on the bed. He looked around, light appearing to have been drained from the room.

“I think my dungeon comment was more of a joke than a suggestion.” Swift said.

Coco pinned Swift’s hooves with her own.

“Oh, this would have been the best story if you weren’t this kind of crazy.” Swift said. “But I know you have it in you Coco, and I’ll be wanting another visit with you after this mess.”

“There is no Coco, only Zuul.” Coco replied

“Now, I know she’s in there Zuul.” Swift said. “She seems like the type to have these kinds of repressed urges.” Now I want to talk to Coco.”

“THERE IS NO COCO, ONLY ZUUL!” the entity asserted. Coco’s face distorted into a widened grin with long sharpened teeth briefly before returning to normal.

The mare then began to rise above the bed, it was so unnatural, even for a pegasus to witness. Pegasi or levitating unicorns usually bobbed slightly to hover and there was the sound of wings or magic. This however, was completely silent. It wasn’t until she stopped rising and started growling.

“Tell you what, Zuul.” Swift said. “Mortals have actually gotten some pretty mean advancements in our medicines. There are substances for say…virility. I’d wager that this abode probably has something to make the ritual more enjoyable.”

“Do not delay.” Coco said, with a satisfactory grin. She levitated back down. She moved a hoof along the covers.

Swift ran to the kitchen. “Please have sleeping pills, please have sleeping pills.” He needed to make sure Coco wouldn’t hurt him or any other pony.

////

“I must find the Gatekeeper!” Poindexter said. “If you cannot aid me in the ritual, then I will find her myself!”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Becky asked. “You sure you don’t have to wait for a sign or something?” Neutrona looked at Becky incredulously at the attempt to buy more time.

Poindexter blinked and then his eyes grew wide and glowed red. “The sign! Oh, how could I have forgotten?!” he put a hoof to his face.

“Great,” Neutrona said. “I think there’s a few more tests I would like to run.”

Just then, the door to the firehouse opened with a resounding crash.

“Vay and Firm Ground are back.” Neutrona said. The three ponies moved downstairs. “Good, I needed you two to-“

Gawker Peck, a police pony, and Dean Hayger were on their way to the basement.

“Hold on a moment.” Becky said, jumping down and landing in front of the intruders. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“We’re terminating the necromancy, once and for all!” Peck said. “I should have known it was a trick by Dr. Swift Guess. He was trying to trick me into not thinking this was where the necromantic energy occurring in this place!”

“I’m sure that Princess Celestia has to be the one to see to matters of necromancy.” Neutrona said.

“These are extenuating circumstances.” Peck said “The princesses are indisposed at the moment and The Elements of Harmony are out on duty who knows where. If you haven’t heard, terrible things are occurring across Equestira and your little scheme is just one of them!”

Gawker took a step forward. “Not if I can help it.”

Swift flew into the firehouse. “Is there a problem here” he asked.

“You’re not going to play your little games with me anymore!” Gawker said. “We’re not going to stand by and let your ritual be complete!”

“Ritual?” Poindexter said. “The ritual must be complete!”

“See! Stop it now!” Gawker Peck said and ordered the Dean to inspect the containment unit.

“I know you were always up to no good Neutrona.” Hayger said. “Well, a device like this shouldn’t be too difficult to dismantle.”

“I’m just going to get my pack and blast him. “Swift said. “Only minor tissue damage, right Neutrona?” he was about to take off.

The sound of the switch being pulled caught the Ghostbuster’s ears. A siren followed.

Neutrona eyed her colleagues with widened eyes. Moments later, everypony, dragon, and griffon ran straight out of the firehouse. Slimer was upstairs enjoying Swift’s lunch when rumbling occurred and then a blast of energy blew him away from the kitchen.

The energy formed a pillar of light that shot into the air.

“This is it, this is the sign!” Poindexter said.

“It’s a sign all right, I should have invested in life insurance.” Becky said.

Firm Ground and Valence had just arrived to witness the scene of chaos.

“What happened?” Firm Ground asked.

“Gawker Peck shut down the containment grid.” Neutrona said.

“And it explodes when you do that?” Firm Ground asked.

“Well, you’re not supposed to turn it off.” Vay said.

“Wait, where did the Keymaster go?” Swift asked.

The Ghostbusters looked around.

“We’ve got to find him before he gets to Coco Pommel” But before they could cover any ground, Gawker Peck threw himself in front of the team.

“Arrest these ponies!” he demanded. “They just set off a necromantic ritual with all the ghosts they’ve been catching. This explosion is a direct result of it!”

“Horse shit!” Neutrona yelled and lunged at the griffon.

A fight broke out between the Ghostbusters and the police, ending with the team hoofcuffed and unichained.

Mass Hysteria!

Drawn by the impulses of the energy amassing at the building, Poindexter wandered the streets. He drifted through crowds of ponies that were now at the mercy of the recently freed spirits.

Street signs were flickering the wrong colors and even synchronized themselves with a performance with a group of possessed instruments that had floated out of a music shop, and began playing a tune.

If it weren’t for the fact that no pony could be seen playing them, and they were in the middle of the street, their chill tune would have been much more appreciated.

Various ghosts were scuffling between themselves. Some wanted to throw food from stores and there were other ghosts that were trying to eat all the food from the market.

Despite all of this, a certain chaotic spirit was nowhere to be see, either watching from somewhere unseen, or perhaps not inclined to care for this flavor of chaos.

Poindexter arrived, and began his ascent to find the Gatekeeper, Grazer’s influence would make sure that there wouldn’t be any ponies getting in the Keymaster’s way this time.

////

Behind reinforced, magical dampening bars, the Ghostbusters awaited news of their fate.

As far as current company was concerned, only a few vandals and purse snatchers shared the cell with them.

“It all comes down to this, the eve of the Secretariat Comet.” Vay said.

“I’d hate to break it to you, Vay.” Swift said. “But if we’re in jail, we probably won’t be getting a view of the sky. Meanwhile, I’ve got a problem with a very uppity mare.”

“She’s just one part of the whole scheme.” Neutrona said. “That building has been the center of a plot for destruction.”

Firm Ground approached and continued. “Grazer, he was a god from ancient times, before the princesses. I thought he was forgotten, only a part of Sumareian history. Grazer was basically known as a deity of destruction, most ponies made shrines to ask for protection.”

Some of the jail cell occupants moved in closer to hear.

“Grazer got ponies to invoke destruction on their enemies.” Firm Ground said.

“A certain group of ponies thought that the light, Celestia, was getting too strong and that she needed to be stopped.” Neutrona said. “They set their scheme in motion to occur in sync with the Secretariat Comet, probably also banking on the distracted forces of Equestria to be too busy to notice.”

Neutrona took off her glasses with her magic and rubbed the bridge of her muzzle. “They set about to bring the end of the world, and now it looks like it may actually happen.”

Before they could continue speaking on the crisis, the Ghostbusters were called up to the Mayor’s office.

////

Mayor Whinny was not having a great afternoon, her cabinet was giving reports of strange, even dangerous occurrences. Sure, Mahehattan was a tough city, but when your constituents are under attack by ghosts, there’s little the police could do.

Then the Ghostbusters entered the already crowded office, followed by a very cheesed off griffon.

“Mayor Whinny.” Gawker Peck said. “These four set off a necromantic pulse that has unleashed dark magics throughout the city.”

“Your honor.” Vay began. “Our containment grid was working just fine until this cocky bird decided to shut it off.”

“Is this true?” the Mayor asked.

“Yes, its true.” Swift said. “But honestly, Mr. Peck is probably only a little cocky.”

Gawker Peck lunged at Swift before the guards separated them.

“Hey! Violence is never the answer! I can always counsel you on your short comings!” Swift said.

“ENOUGH!” the mayor yelled. “So what am I supposed to do?”

There was a sense of urgency from the halls outside. Ponies sounded like they were scrambling, and then there was silence just before the door opened.

The Princess of the Night walked through.

“Your Majesty!” The mayor said before kneeling, as did everypony else.

“Arise!” Luna said. “Tis not the time for formalities.”

“Great, just the princess we needed to see!” The mayor said gratefully. “Can you help us with this mess?”

“Sadly, we are here only briefly to assess the situation.” Luna said. “As thou hast no doubt heard, other parts of Equestria are in peril as well. Mine own sister is fighting a threat in Canterlot. And we are currently searching for the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. But if thou truly need our help, we shall give it.”

“Princess Luna.” Gawker Peck said. “These four ponies have been trying to undermine your sister’s anti-necromancy laws!”

Luna turned to the Ghostbusters. “Explain thine case.”

“Your majesty, our studies have been only to try to help ponies.” Neutrona said. “We capture hostile spirits and have been storing them to keep other ponies safe.”

“Gawker Peck thought we were the ones doing the city harm.” Firm Ground said. “But his overzealousness let all of the ghosts out. Which is why Manehattan is in all sorts of trouble.”

“Worse yet, it wasn’t until recently that we uncovered a plot by forces unknown setting a course for disasters of ancient proportions.” Vay said.

“What do you mean ‘ancient’?” The mayor asked.

“Forces ponykind hasn't seen in millenia, we’re talking about Wendigo level stuff.” Vay said. “Hail and meteors raining in from the sky!”

“Nature overtaking cities.” Neutrona said. “Ponies at each others throats!”

“Storms destroying all in their wake!” Firm Ground added. “The dead rising from the graves!”

“Ponies sacrificing each other!” Swift yelled. “Cats and dogs, living together. MASS HYSTERIA!”

“Enough! I get the point!” The mayor said. “But that doesn’t tell me how to help the ponies of my city!”

Swift stepped forward and muttered to himself. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” His voice got louder. “Give us a shot at whatever this thing is!”

The other Ghostbusters looked on in surprise.

“It’ll give Princess Luna the time she needs to go wherever else she needs to be in Equestria.”

“We can prove that we can deal with these things too.” Firm Ground said.

“If I’m wrong, nothing happens, and you can throw us in the dungeon for being fakes or whatever charges Gawker Peck thinks we did.” Swift said.

“But if I’m right, and we can stop this thing. Whinny, you will have shown Equestria how a group of ponies from Manehattan toughed it out, and no voter will ever forget that.” Swift said.

Luna smirked only the slightest, but then returned to her serious demeanor. “Such bravery, other ponies could learn from their initiative. And furthermore, we see ponies that are trying to help.”

“Help?” Gawker Peck asked incredulously.

“Yes, help.” Luna said. “There is more to helping that accusing others of doing wrong. These ponies are trying to do the right thing, we can sense it. Gawker Peck, your services are no longer needed.”

“But I was supposed to-“ Peck was cut off as he was escorted out of the office.

“We thank these…Ghostbusters for their aid. We are needed elsewhere.” Luna said before leaving the room.

“Okay, what are we waiting for?” the mayor asked.

////

Much to the delight of Swift and his ego, Mayor Whinny ordered the police and local guard to escort the Ghostbusters on their way to the apartment building. If the situation didn’t seem so dire, the spectacle might have looked like a parade.

The Ghostbuster’s cart, or “Ecto One” as Vay had insisted be its name, pulled up to the front of Coco Pommel’s building.

Crowds of onlookers cheered for the team, despite the darkness gathering in the middle of the day. Signs were held high by adoring fans and appreciative clients.

The Ghostbusters put on their proton saddle packs and stood at the entrance.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you up top.” Swift said, taking to the air. Then lightning struck all around the building. Swift drifted back down.

The earth began to shake, startling the crowd. Everypony held on for dear life, until it subsided.

Swift was the only team member still visible after the earthquake had left the ground shattered and jagged. “Don’t worry, we’re okay!” he said, floating down to help the others up.

The crowd cheered, not having their hopes dashed. The team continued on inside.

////

What followed was an arduous clime up flights and flights of stairs, except for Swift. He floated up with them. Between the debris knocked through the staircase and the lightning outside, he didn’t have a straight shot to Coco’s apartment.

////

Poindexter had found Coco’s room. “I am the Keymaster.”

“I am the Gatekeeper.” She replied, and the two of them climbed to the top of the building.

There, an altar lay before the grandiose stone mural. The ponies embraced, kissed, and began the rites to issue forth something terrible into the world.

////

When the Ghostbusters had finally found coco’s apartment, they discovered it had been blasted by lightning, yet the destruction left a path leading upwards, carved of stone that appeared to have been part of the building the whole time.

They were led to where the ceremony had been completed, the Ghostbusters saw Poindexter and Coco standing on platforms on the sides of the grand mural.

“Coco!” Swift called out, but thunder drowned out his voice.

Electricity ran through the possessed ponies’ bodies. Then they began to grow, but there was also a growth of leathery skin bursting from underneath their coats.

Their own skin stretched out and tore off, remnants of who they were scattered to the wind. The result was two monstrous creatures that growled at the team before leaping into the dimensional doorway that had opened.

“I think that she’s going to need to redesign her clothes.” Swift said.

The Ghostbusters moved to view the shrine directly, it was as Coco had described to them when she first came to the firehouse.

At the top of the staircase within the portal, emerged an alicorn. Her coat was pink with a crystalline-like pattern adorning it. She had a black, military cut mane and had deep red eyes.

“That’s Grazer.” Firm Ground said. “We can’t let her get through.”

“I thought you said Grazer was a he?” Vay asked.

“It’s a deity, Grazer can be whatever it wishes to be.”

The ancient entity was apparently in no rush. Grazer took her time to pet the beasts that had helped usher her into this world. She took in the view of the Manehattan skyline.

“Go get her Vay!” Swift said.

The unicorn just hesitantly took a few steps. “Grazer the Grazarian!” he said. “As a privately licensed and recently sanctioned paranormal expert and citizen of Manehattan., I hereby ask that you cease and desist any and all supernatural activity that disrupts harmony.”

Grazer regarded the Ghostbuster.

“And if you’d please return to your point of origin, or closest dimension. That would be much appreciated.”

“Well, at least he’s asking nicely!” Firm Ground said.

Grazer then asked in a deep, raspy voice. “Are you a god?”

Valence blinked, and responded. “Well, no, but if you’d hold tight, we can get Princess back here. Though it still remains to be known if Alicorn are-“

“DIE!” Grazer yelled, interrupting and blasted the team away with PK energy.

Firm Ground then grabbed hold of Neutrona and clung to the altar.

Valence went off the edge, but Swift was able to catch and bring him back onto the roof.

Firm Ground looked over to Vay. Swift was panting from saving his colleague. “The next time somepony asks if you’re a god, say YES!”

“Enough screwing around!” Swift said. “I say we move onto shock therapy!”

Each of the Ghostbusters readied their packs and neutrona wands. Grazer stared at the team, reading another wave.

‘Nuh-uh, not again!” Swift said and fired the first stream which connected. Grazer however, then shot into the air before the other streams of protons particles could hit.

Grazer landed and then hovered above the pillar above them. “How clever, I thought the Ungalla were all too distracted for my arrival.” Grazer said.

“All at once!” Firm Ground said. “3-2-1!” they let loose their shots and the streams collided with the deity, followed by an explosion.

“Neutralized.” Vay said. “It’s body must have been barely been stable enough for our plane of existence.”

Neutrona put on her PKE goggles. “No sign of any remnants, but the shrine is still hot.”

And as if in response, a voice sounded from the sky.

“Grazer the Destructor, the Traveler has come. Now choose. Choose the form of the destructor!”

“What do you mean?” Valence asked.

“It’s a trick!” Swift said. “If we think of anything, that’s what will come to destroy us. If we think of a pink fluffy pony, a pink and fluffy pony will appear and destroy us.”

“Is there a limit to this?” Firm Ground asked.

“How long does my head have to be empty?” Neutrona asked. “I might go brain dead from this.”

“The choice is made!” the voice said.

“Hey! We were barely arguing semantics!” Swift said. “As far as I know, a pony can’t manifest itself as semantics, can it Neutrona?”

“Not really a tangible concept.” She replied.

“See? That’s the word of two doctors!” Swift said. “Help us out here Vay!”

Valence was only silent.

“Please tell us you didn’t.” Firm Ground said.

“I couldn’t help it, it just popped in there.” Vay said.

“Sweet Celestia!” Neutrona cried out.

In the distance, an enormous, white pony mare with a light purple marshmallow mane trotted loudly through the street. It wore blue sailor’s clothes and smiled as it made its way causing terror down the streets of Manehattan.

“I tried to beat you all to the punch. I tried to think of something that could never possibly destroy us.” Vay said.

“It’s Puffy, the Marshmallow Pony.” Swift said.

“We used to roast them back at Camp Friendship when I was a colt.” Vay said.

“Vay is slowly losing it, ideas Neutrona?” Swift asked.

“I’ve been used to cleaning up after Valence when we were young. Never thought he’d do something to get us killed.”

The monstrosity trotted towards their building, but its mascot face of happiness turned into a glare.

“Marshmallows still burn.” Firm Ground said. “I don’t think this god knows that.” She readied her pack. The others did as well. “Roast this pony!” she yelled.

Four brilliant streams of light shot from the top of the building and set the monster on fire.

“It’s not enough!” Neutrona said. “We’d drain ourselves before burning Grazer’s snout off.”

An updraft of fire raced up the side of the building. The marshmallow pony then straddled the building and began an awkward ascent.

The Ghostbusters took cover from behind an edge on the roof.

“You know, there’s all those stories you hear of the Elements of Harmony saving the day, or the princesses doing mortal battle.” Valence said. “But I don’t think they’ve ever been close to being killed by a 100-foot marshmallow pony.”

“It gives you perspective.” Firm Ground said.

“Death isn’t our only option.” Neutrona said. “We can take out the monster and stop the dimensional door in one shot.” She pointed to the shrine with her wand. “The door swings both ways, if we can reverse the polarity, then we win.”

“There’s a catch, isn’t there?” Swift asked.

“We’re going to have to cross the steams.” Neutrona said.

“Oh, that thing you took your time telling us that could explode our molecules?” Swift asked.

“Well, there is still a slim chance we could survive.” Neutrona said.

“I love this plan, and I’m excited to be part of one where there’s the slightest chance I won’t die!” Swift said and they made their way to the front of the portal.

“So glad there was life insurance option when I took this job.” Firm Ground said. “Because hazard pay was so much better with the guard.”

Grazer, the marshmallow pony had reached the top of the building and was about ready to peek over the edge.

“Most ponies don’t die trying to prove their theories, but I hope the textbooks give us credit.” Neutrona said.

“I’m sure they will.” Vay said. “I guess you’ll end up with that job being a shrink in the sky after all Swift.”

“That’s one way of looking at it.” Swift said, powering on his pack and firing.

“Good, because I’ll have a whole lot to say in my first session.” Firm Ground said.

Their proton streams intersected and formed pockets of conflicting quarks on the bonds of energy. There was a massive explosion that re-lit the area like daylight under the already unnatural dark sky.

The marshmallow pony instantly melted and splattered to the wind and ground. Melted sugar covered the surface of neighborhoods. The entire grandiose structure that was once the top of the apartment building was now in charred ruins.

Despite everything, the team emerged from ash and marshmallow goo.

“Hey Neutrona,” Vay said, standing up. “How low were our odds of survival?”

His sister slogged out of the marshmallow. “One in ten million.” She replied.

Firm Ground knocked off a piece of rock that had fallen over the spot where she dived to just before the explosion. “Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket then.”

Swift had crawled out of his own nook. “Seriously?” he said. “Neutrona, you really do overplay the danger. And Vay, don’t eat the marshmallow.”

Vay had some on his fetlock and was in the middle of bringing it to his mouth. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“We may have survived, but I can’t say the same for Grazer’s minions.” Neutrona said.

Swift sighed as he looked at the charred husks that were once the terror dogs. Then, they began to stir.

“No way.” Firm Ground said.

The team dived to help once they saw hooves breaking out from the carbonized carcasses. Vay and Neutrona got Poindexter out.

“Wow, do I have a new idea for a campaign!” the nerdy pony said.

“You play Ogres and Oubliettes too?” Vay asked. “You gotta let me in on a game sometime!”

“Mr. Poindexter, would you mind letting us have a sample of your brain tissue?” Neutrona asked.

“Will it hurt?” Poindexter asked.

“Not as much as you’d think.” Neutrona replied.

“Ok then!” Poindexter replied.

Swift and Firm ground got Coco Pommel free and the seamstress looked absolutely exasperated.

“I know, I’m shocked to see me too” Swift said. “Sorry about the date. I never got too involved on first dates. I like to show restraint.”

“Guess I’ll have to schedule a second one then.” Coco replied and kissed Swift.

Firm Ground watched everypony head downstairs, she stayed on top of the building and looked over the city. The sun was shining once more, and here she was. One of four ponies that had stopped something form destroying Equestria.

Her life was on track for some real adventures. “I love this town!” she yelled.

The Ghostbusters filed out of the building to a marshmallow covered street, and were escorted back home. Manehattan’s newest saviors.