Live Up To Myself

The last few days before the test were a whirlwind of cramming. As much as she hates to admit it, Moondancer was taking it easier with Sonata recently, which went against the study plan she set out in the beginning. Now they were paying the price for that lax attitude by being behind.

In the last two days they resigned themselves to scrambling for all the basic knowledge they could try to memorize in short notice. Sonata didn’t seem to notice that Dancer was growing more and more frayed knowing how badly she messed up.

On the day of the GED test, Gilda offered to give the three of them a ride to the building it took place in.

“Okay Sonata, tell me three things I taught you this week.”

“With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, and the sun is a deadly laser.”

“That last one sounded a little off, but I’ll take it.”

“Now name three things that I taught you this week.” Rainbow told her.

“Lefty loosey, righty tighty; all cops are bastards, and always keep it 100.”

“That’s my girl! You’re gonna rock this test!”

They pulled up the building to drop off their friend, saying their byes. Since it was the morning and the test was only gonna take a bit over an hour the rest of them decided to get breakfast at a nearby restaurant.

“What’re you gonna order?” Gilda asked the rest of them, looking over the menu.

“Since you’re paying, it’s going to be the most expensive and ridiculous thing I can find here. I probably won’t even like it.”

“You’ve wounded me Dash. I’m utterly destroyed by this broken trust.” Gilda said with a megaton amount of sarcasm. “What about you nerd?”

“Oh, me? I don’t know, I don’t feel hungry right now. Thanks.”

“You sure?” Rainbow questioned. “I don’t think you even ate last night either.”

“And your knees haven’t stopped moving since you sat down. Did you take somethin’?” Gilda grilled her with.

“Of course not! I’m just… I’m worried about Sonata is all.”

“I am too, but you gotta be confident in her. You did the best you could. Granted, you were the one who put the time limit yourself, but yeah.” Rainbow assured her.

“You don’t get it. If she fails, then that meant I failed her. I’ll be the one who ultimately fucked up because of my fucking stupid pride and wanting to do this in a month!” Moondancer shouted.

It was loud enough that people started staring in hushed murmur. This just made her feel even worse! She sighed and laid her head on the table. She didn’t bother lifting up even when the waitress came to take their orders. Gilda graciously ordered pancakes for her, but there was no point in that gesture.

“Why am I so bad at life?” Dancer wondered in a muffled voice.

“Bad? You’re one of the smartest girls I know. Hell, you’re practically the smartest in school.”

“I’m the second smartest…”

“And that matters because?” Gilda questioned, not lifting her eyes from her phone.

“Because it does!” She shouted right at her. The chatter of the crowd completely disappeared, and people began to stare. Moondancer ran out of the restaurant in embarrassment.

“Wow, what the fuck was that about?”

“She’s hurting from something.” Rainbow said. “I’m going to see what’s wrong. Can you take care of our food when it gets here?”

“Nope.” She answered, looking back at her phone.

“Fair enough.”

Dash looked up and down the street for any sign of Moondancer, finding her sitting on a bus stop bench, sitting with her legs up to her chest on the verge of tears. Rainbow didn’t say anything, sitting beside her. After a minute, Dancer finally said something.

“Aren’t you going to give some sort of dumb pep talk? Wasn’t that something generic you and your friends used to do?”

“I’m not the one who needs to do the talking. It seems like you’re holding some stuff in that needs to be let it out.”

“And? What good will talking about my shitty life will do? It’s not like it’ll make any difference.”

“Try me.” Rainbow said with a smile.

“Fuck it. I’m not feeling well because I banked everything on Sonata helping me get the title for valedictorian because without it there isn’t anything to me. Nothing. There.”

“Seriously? Why does it matter so much that you need to prove you’re the smartest person at the school?”

“Because if I’m not the best at this crappy college than what the hell am I? Garbage, that’s what. Just some nameless refuse that nobody cares about.”

“Okay, I admit, Cloudsdale isn’t exactly the best, but it’s still decent. My old man got his soccer career started there.”

“That was 30 years ago! Right now it’s a dumpster fire that people only go to if they’re poor or as a last resort… like me. I was supposed to be accepted into Antares University, but I didn’t so I’m stuck here. I’m trapped in a failure of my own machinations because I didn’t have a backup plan in case I got rejected. My life is over because I was an overconfident dumbass!”

Moondancer put her legs back on the floor. She let a lot out in anger, and she honestly did feel a little better after venting. Only a little.

“Could I ask you one thing?” Rainbow queried.

“What’s that?”

“Do you hate Treehugger?”

This gave her pause.

“I did, at first. I was jealous that there was someone better than me at something. I was even thinking of ways to get back at her. I eventually let it go, though.”

“Because of Sonata, huh.”

“Well… yeah. I sort of focused on her succeeding than I did about myself getting ahead. If doing this makes her happy, then… I’ll be happy too.”

When she said it out loud, it almost felt like a revelation.

“I told ya you’re in love. You’re getting closer to being a human every day.”

“Shut up. But… thanks, for the other stuff. I guess I really did need to vent it out to feel better. I suppose whether or not Sonata passes, it won’t matter because we’ll try again.”

“Come on then, let’s go back and eat before the food gets cold. You are hungry now, right?”

“Oh, I suppose I am.”

“Then hurry! Get those legs moving!” Rainbow commanded, running down the street.

Even though running wasn’t her thing, Moondancer felt compelled to try and catch up with her friend.