Brae,
Somethin’ happened. Somethin’ bad. Please come home. AJ needs you.
3 years ago...
Two ponies lounged on the porch of the old farmhouse, deep in the middle of the night. One, an orange earth pony, was leaning against the porch’s railing, staring at the stars above. The other, a yellow pony dressed in a vest and brown cowpony hat, was sitting in a chair, swirling a glass of cider in his hoof.
“Harvest’s doin’ well this year,” remarked Applejack, her emerald eyes still on the stars. The other pony said nothing but continued swirling his glass. For a moment the only sound between them was the rhythmic clinking of the ice cubes against the glass. “Reckon it won’t be as well next year, what with the upcomin’ dry spell,” Applejack said absently.
Finally, she turned away from the night sky and faced her cousin. “Tell me again. All of it.”
With a sigh, Braeburn gulped down the last of his cider and sat up. He spoke evenly and avoided eye contact. “ ‘s like I told ya. There’s a group of pioneers leavin’ tomorrow, headin’ out west. Want to go found a town on the frontier. Ah plan ta go with ‘em.”
Applejack frowned her brow furrowing as she glared at her cousin. “Yer kiddin’.”
Braeburn set his glass back on the table and matched Applejack’s stare. “No. Ah’m not.”
“Why? Is this…. Stupid dream so important to you that you’d leave yer family behind? Don’t you even care about us?” Asked Applejack, her voice growing louder and more aggressive with every word.
Braeburn sighed, his thoughts running back a few months, to the 23rd of September. The day he locked himself in the barn to ‘be alone.’ The day Applejack banged on the doors for a good half hour, screaming until her voice was sore, when Applebloom cried her eyes out because she didn’t understand what was happening. The day Mac had to kick down the barn doors and knock the knife out of his hooves.
Applejack’s voice dissolved the memories. “I’ve warned you, Brae. Can’t spend your whole life chasin’ the sunset. Ain’t gonna catch it, after all.” Her gaze hardened. “But seriously. Please tell me your jokin’ or I’m dreamin’....” Applejack ran a hoof through her mane. “Dreamin’. Gotta be it.”
“Mhm. If you are, you’ll feel better when you wake up.” Braeburn sighed again and trotted over to his saddlebags.
“No. You can’t just leave me, Mac, Granny, Applebloom…. You’re not going to,” Applejack growled.
“I’m sorry, AJ. I’ll make it up to you someday.”
Applejack stomped her hoof. “Snap out of it. Ah know you, Brae. You’re just going through some stupid phase. Just…. Just go to sleep, and you’ll be fine in the mornin’.” The last sentence seemed to be more of a reassurance to herself than a request.
“ ‘Fraid it’s not.” Braeburn’s gaze fell to the ground again. “Believe or not… things are better out there. They say there’s gold up in the hills, and that you only need one bar an’ you’ll be set for life.” A slight chuckle escaped his mouth. “Maybe I’ll take you up there someday.”
“Over mah dead body,” Applejack spat. She ran a hoof through her mane again. “You and your dreams…. I swear you act like you’re on somethin’ you shouldn’t be.” Applejack took a deep breath. “For the last time, you’re not goin’. I need you here. For Celestia’s sake, look around you!”
Applejack gestured to the farm with her hoof. All around the farmhouse, apple trees were planted as far as the eye could see. Paths stretched in between the trees, branching off into different areas of the orchard. Luna’s moon illuminated the trees, casting a dim light over the orchard. Barns were dotted in between the patches, holding enough equipment for the harvests. It was more than just trees and apples and run-down buildings of wood and paint. The farm was a picture of peace and serenity. It was where Braeburn had grown up, where he had lived his whole life. It was home, and he was leaving it behind.
“You would really just leave this behind? Leave us behind? For some stupid colt’s dream?”
Braeburn stared out at the expanse of land in front of him. “AJ, please don’t make this harder.”
In response, Applejack grabbed the glass Braeburn had set down and flung it onto the patio. The glass shattered into tiny pieces. Braeburn flinched at the impact. “Damn it Braeburn! Why? Why does every single pony have to fall head over hoof for your stupid buckin’ stories? Why does everypony give you a smile and say ‘good luck?’ Why do they even listen?!” Applejack’s voice grew until she was yelling, tears of anger and desperation welling in her eyes.
“It’s always been about you! Never me, or Mac, or anypony else! Always about you and your dreams. You couldn’ be more self-centered if the darned sun revolved around you! Why?! Why can’t you see what’s wrong?” Applejack’s eyes flooded, but she continued. “You keep tellin’ me to wake up, but it’s you that needs ta wake up! You keep talkin’ and talkin’... Maybe you can say somethin’ useful for once and talk yourself outta this! Every damned day I wait for you to fall, to realize how stupid all of this is, but you won’t fall. You just won’t Is this what you wanted?! Does family really mean nothing to you?!!”
In all the years Applejack had known her cousin, she had never figured Braeburn could be pushed too far. He always seemed to take everything in stride, and his patience and resolve ran deep in his body, combining with his kindness and creating a pony that seemed to be friends with everyone. In all his years, Braeburn learned to keep his temper in check. But not this time.
His voice started so quiet it sent a chill down Applejack’s spine. “Family? You want to ask me about family? Tell me this, cousin. Where was family when mah parents died? Where was family when I was wastin’ away in bars and pubs? What was it they said? ‘It’s just a phase, he’ll come back eventually?’ Where was family when I made a noose out of some rope and tied it ta the barn rafters? Hell, ya know who talked me out of that one? Caramel. He ain’t even family, and he was there when y’all weren’t.”
Braeburn removed his hat, laying it on the table. His eyes burned with an intensity that Applejack had never seen on his face before. While his eyes were burning with emotion, the rest of his face was blank, empty, emotionless.
“Thing is, I’m not Mac. Sure, I love mah family, but it always seems they’re leavin’ me behind. Makes me wonder if they love me back. Caramel tells me that I should get out, search for somethin’ new. Somewhere where I can finally feel the sun again, and let it wash mah pain away. And that’s what I’m goin’. To. Do.” Braeburn had gotten so close that his snout was practically pushed up against Applejack’s. A growl had entered his voice.
Braeburn turned away again, taking deep breaths to calm himself. “Heard there’s gold out there,” he said absently before replacing his hat on his head. Slinging on his saddlebags, Braeburn began walking to the gate. Applejack followed, her anger dissolving into an unknown feeling.
“I’m sorry AJ.” Applejack didn’t respond. “I didn’t mean for it to end this way. Mac won’t talk to me anymore. Guess I’m as good as dead to him.” The stallion chuckled dryly.
“Brae… please. I’m sorry that we haven’t been there for you before, I’m sorry that we’ve been to stubborn to see that you’re hurtin’. But please, don’t leave us. You’re so much better than that.”
Braeburn paused as he unhinged the gate. “AJ, I need this. Please.”
Applejack wiped the remnants of tears from her eyes. “You know… your words don’t seem ta mean that much to me anymore.”
Brae hesitated, taking in the familiar sights of Sweet Apple Acres one last time. “I know. Tell Mac he doesn’t need to worry, I don’t plan on comin’ back.” Applejack nodded, and Braeburn began walking again. He paused after a few seconds. “And for what it’s worth…. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
Now
The yellow stallion looked out of place. His clothes were covered in dust, and his face was burned from the sun. Bags had formed under his eyes, a combination of hard work and the recent tragedy. It was a stark comparison against the uniform, clean look of the hospital room.
With a sigh, the stallion removed his hat and lay it on the table next to the bed. He summoned his courage and took in the battered and broken form of the orange mare in the bed. “Hey AJ.” Silence. “I heard about what happened. And I’m…. I…. I’m back. I swore I’ll make it up to you, and I swear to Celestia that I will. Just… Just rest easy, cousin. It’s just a bad dream an’... you’ll feel better when you wake up.”
In the eerie silence of the hospital room, he vaguely recalled the nurse's voice telling him of the probability and chance of his cousin waking up from her coma. And he heard her voice, carrying on the conversation they started years ago.
“You’re so much better than that.”
“You’re so much better than that.”
“But I’m not. Oh, Celestia, I’m not.” The stallion broke down and sobbed into his hooves.
Author's Note
Hey, guys! This is probably the last you'll hear from me for a while as I've shifted my focus to other progress. My other projects have been put on hold until further notice.
This story is based on the song Wake Up, by EDEN.
Hope you enjoyed, and any feedback is appreciated.