I've always wanted the pony of my dreams, to keep me company in my dark and lonely life.
Not one of those plain and boring old nags in the rundown stable downtown, who kicked your skull to bits because they felt like it. Those brutish mounts were not meant to be ridden by poor, clueless young children or anyone in their right mind for that matter.
If you so much as sneezed by accident, they would grumble and throw you to the earth. That was how brutal some of those nasty horses were.
I tried my best to appease the last horse I had bought in desperation to give myself a companion in my time of need. Gave him his own room, his own well made and carefully designed bed both of which were once mine. I had consigned myself to sleeping on the lumpy couch so that the beast might be content and comfortable, and he repaid me generously by breaking the windows in a fit of rage as he rampaged around the room I had worked so hard to tidy and renovate, breaking chairs, tables and wardrobes indiscriminately as he roared his disapproval in a blind fury.
Then he turned on his crying carer who was by now trembling with shock and grief, and kicked him hard in the chest before galloping angrily down the stairs ,growling ferociously.
Three weeks in hospital felt bad, but the loneliness that had descended over me once more was what really killed the mood in that empty room where no one came to see me. I pressed the button for the doctor. She told me to shut up and be quiet, and that I was not worth the space I took up in the ward.
I was you see, not a very attractive man to many people despite my best efforts. And when the three weeks was over, it was the emptiness in my heart that gave my ribs the sensation of pain rather than any actual damage left.
As bad as that experience was, I had been through worse in my desperate attempt to find the pony friend for me. I felt that without any hope of an actual human friend, that a friendly pony would be the next best thing.
I once had yet another pony whose fluffy mane drew me to him in the marketplace. His mane may have been the softest thing in the whole wide world for me then, but it was but a facade. A facade put up in vain to hide the hard and steely shell that was his heart.
My company with him lasted not even a day. I had for this occasion spent a small fortune preparing the most delicious feast anyone could ask for in my mind, including but not ending with pepperoni pizza heated to exactly the perfect temperature and a gigantic basted turkey showered in gravy alongside some delicious mash potatoes and Brussels sprouts. There was a triple layered cherry cake sprinkled in coconut cream, and divine iced frappes which cost a bomb to find, buy and store. But I did it all in the hopes that my new pony friend would have a lovely supper and a good impression of his buyer as well as a restorative meal to restore him back to health after seeing how hard he had been worked by the farmer who sold him to me. He was almost skin and bone by the time I found him.
And how did the sorry excuse of a beggar thank his host who sought only to appease his ravenous hunger and gift to him a better life. He tipped the table over so that it made a horrible mess on the long oriental carpet laid out just for the occasion, and timed his attack just right for a large pile of the delicacies to splat onto what would have been his carer and best friend.
Not content with the destruction already caused, it leaped up with a tremendous jump and brought the a thousand dollar crystal chandelier down causing it to smash into the ground with a terrible crash which shook the earth itself and forced me to shield my ears.
He then took one last look at the man who had saved him from the abusive farmer who planned to work him till he collapsed under exhaustion, and took his leave.
I never saw him again though I searched all over town for my lost friend.
Two weeks of frantic searching later, I returned to my humble abode weeping my heart out. I banged my head on the wall several times, cursing fate for refusing to grant me the slightest hope at finding a friend in either a fellow human or any pet I might find and try to befriend.
I had done everything to the best of my ability and now, lady luck had deserted me. She clearly loved me as much as any woman might, when they saw me frantically waving to them, trying anything I could to make them see how badly I wanted just to have a conversation with someone not myself.
So now I sat, staring at my broken window and trashed up house, eyeing the empty money jar on the mantle which had somehow not been broken too. And taking out of a well hidden pocket in my shabby uniform, a photo of the beautiful goddess I referred to as "Fluttershy the pony.", I sighed.
Fluttershy, an angel from heaven disguised as a humble yet adorable little horsie.
Fluttershy, the one thing that stopped me from changing channels when that overrated show about magical ponies in an alternate dimension came on once more, interrupting my favorite show about the cunning spy and by extension ruining my evening.
The Rainbow maned pony was cool, funny and all and the apple farming pony had a really nice accent but it was the pink maned Fluttershy which truly put a spell over me that made me drop my remote when I raised it to change to a better show about anything but the adorable ponies I would never get to see anywhere but from behind a glass screen. A glass screen, that even if I smashed it would not grant me entryway into that beautiful, peaceful world.
But Fltuttershy's beautiful gaze as she logically and smartly resolved whatever conflict her friends brewed up, kept me staring at the screen unable to to take my eyes away from the fantasy I knew all too well was nothing but a lie made to insult me and make me feel worse.
Fluttershy was clever too. While the other ponies were stumbling and flailing when they had been turned to humans after crossing a magic barrier into a human inhabited world, Fluttershy was walking smoothly and smartly betraying no hint whatsoever that she had until then been a quadruped.
And while the other ponies had spent the next few episodes complaining how the human world stunk, Fluttershy had spent it reflecting on how much better still an already nearly perfect world could be if humans and talking ponies could meet. If like humans, ponies walked on two lane traffic lanes of tarmac rather than boring one lane roads crudely forged from rough asphalt.
If ponies quit their obsolete abodes of huts and brownstone houses which had at most only one or two floors, and moved into modern high rises which would each house at least 10 if not more families in the same building, saving a tremendous amount of space.
And most of all, if the ponies of Equestria (their world) armed themselves with human weapons such as machine guns and ICBM's rather than relying on the extremely outdated spears and javelins that their race had been forced to contend with. It would make keeping the peace far easier.
She was shy, but her shyness made her all the more attractive at least to me. She called herself out for her own flaws, rather than waste time finding flaws in others. And most of all, she did not mind in the slightest to be referred to as "Horsie" rather than pony, and even liked it greatly when the young colts and fillies asked her for a ride.
Never were the words "let me ride you." spoken out of her lips which would have been rude and abrasive. Only the words "Let me give you a ride." and "Ride me! Ride me!" both of which made me blush uncontrollably as I battled to resist the urge to smash the screen apart with a sledge, and to jump through the gap.
"But our love can never be." I sobbed, as I very reluctantly switched the device off, seeing that the show was over and that the next airing would not involve Fluttershy. "It's an impossible love."
Very reluctantly, I sighed as I switched off the television, after seeing the show end and reading that the next episode would star no Fluttershy. Don't get me wrong, I loved every pony especially the rainbow one but it was Fluttershy alone that drew me in.
I looked out of my window, to observe how my neighbor hastily drew the curtains when he saw me peeking at him. And sighed, as I muttered sadly to myself.
"Friendship isn't magic. Not for me anyway."
I realized long ago that a human friend for me was impossible when I saw just how badly flawed I was as a being. I struggled to see myself as anything but a primitive beast who never successfully made the jump from animal to man.
So I sought a pony. I wanted a good, friendly equine who could give me the companionship that no sane man would ever want to give me. But I struggled to see how any pony whose name wasn't Fluttershy or the name of one of Fluttershy's close friends, could ever feel anything towards me but indifference and spite.
They didn't value friendship either. And I didn't expect them to.
Author's Note
Thank you so much for reading. I'm a new writer and I know I'm not very good but I do my best. This is a break I'm taking from writing Lightning Dust and Shadowbolts stories due to how bad I was at them (really sorry). I do feel Lightning Dust and the Shadowbolts are good characters with a lot of missed potential and not just foils for the main characters.
This took a lot of effort to think up and write. So please if you like the concept, comment and tell me what could be improved. What do you think will lie in store for our poor protagonist. I would like to hear your thoughts on how this will play out.
But for now, until next time.
Sometimes, in my dreams, I saw her.
I sometimes see her smiling at me with a cheerful grin, assuring me that I will never be left completely alone as long as she lives on in my memory and thoughts.
And with great resolve and will, I sometimes manage to gain control of my dream enough to see her all the more clearly, in all her brilliance. Pale blue eyes, a golden mane to go along with her beautiful cyan coat and a shy smile that emanated a glow of complete sincerity and remorse.
She wears what appears to be a military outfit of sorts, dark blue with a curvy line going through the middle. But it's the small, yet undeniably conspicuous rip at the front of the suit which I notice most, leaving a small bit of her chest visible despite her otherwise concealed body hidden by the fashionable suit.
She knows I've seen it, and quickly covers it up. "Don't worry about it" she says. "We all make mistakes. Mistakes are what make us who we are."
"What happened to you?" I manage to ask, now that I've entered a lucid state of dreaming.
"It's probably best you don't know." she replies earnestly "Just know that it was completely my stupid fault that I am the way I am now. Just realize that even if I seem nice and friendly to you now, you would be better not trusting me if you knew what really happened"
"But why then do you seem like such a good pony now?"
"I was trained by Fluttershy, sweet wonderful Fluttershy" the pony replies, closing her eyes with wistful nostalgia "The third round was tough, but now I can smile and make friends."
"I so want to meet you" I say, knowing full well that all this is a dream that will end at any moment now. "As in really meet you. You would help me so much."
She shakes her head sadly. "I can't. The glass screen keeping your world and mine separate is unbreakable as far as I know. Even Princess Twilight can't find a spell that will let us get through that barrier."
She shakes her head again, and bows in disappointment as she steps further and further away from me. "We can never really meet, my good friend. N, Never. N...Never."
The ringing of a loud, obnoxious clock brings me back into the sad world known as "reality." and I regretfully wake to see just how all of that was just a trance. There was no real pony in the room. Just me and my wild imagination.
I growl with frustration as I step down the stairs, mumbling incoherently as I went to get breakfast, blissfully unaware of the loose board on the wooden staircase that I had not yet saved up the money to fix.
I tripped, and fell headfirst down the last few steps, groaning angrily as I crashed my head into a wall, slightly dazed.
It was a while before I came to, and glanced at the clock on the wall shocked that it was already 8;59. Without further delay I threw on the shirt and trousers I always kept handy on the chair by the dining table, doing my best not to do a scruffy job of dressing myself despite the limited time I had left before my boss bawled me out over the phone and told me to clean up my desk before never showing my face again.
I dashed for the bus stop, making it just in time to flag down what would be the last bus for the morning, and closed my eyes to get some much needed rest before another long day at my desk began.
The day seemed to drag on forever and ever. The other workers avoided eye contact with me and my boss refused to grace my presence with even a "hello", instead tapping impatiently at his watch and dismissing me to my desk with a gesture of his finger.
How long had I been there at that desk. Hours?, Days?
I lost track, as I slowly began to stifle a loud yawn, only managing at the last second to cover my gaping mouth when I remembered what happened to unprofessional employees who disobeyed the rule of speaking only when spoken to by the manager, or when asked to speak by him. This included any kind of noise, including sneezing involuntarily.
It would be labelled as "general professionalism" and in addition to the already meager salary of the tardy worker in question having their pay docked even further so that they were lucky if they could still buy a yo yo with it, would be forced to stay after work to help scrub the restrooms.
There were therefore, a never ending supply of unpaid cleaners staying in the office late at night, since the work day dragged on till 7 at night, and each employee was given only a 20 minute lunch break and a ten minute bathroom break at 4 in the afternoon. It sure saved the man in the suit a fortune.
Realizing that I was lucky to escape unscathed from that yawn which very nearly came out loud enough to be heard and reported, I realized that I had to find someway of distracting myself.
Seeing that for the moment at least there was no paperwork left that needed doing, and glancing up to check I was as usual being given the cold shoulder much to my relief, I took out a pen and pencil and began to draw.
"My dream pony" I titled the drawing.
"What would she be named" I wrote down on the page, trying to think up a good name for a even greater pony.
Well obviously not Fluttershy. As nice as it would be for Fluttershy to come and see me, she's far too busy helping the others in her world to waste any time on frivolities. Her world would be a much less inviting place without her presence since its only thanks to her intervention that her friends haven't turned on each other yet.
Celestia clearly doesn't have what it takes to manage such a delicate place on her own, she needs Fluttershy there to make sure she's doing her job properly lest another uprising consume their land when some discontented subject of Celestia's complains of mistreatment and decides to try and take it out on innocent ponies who had nothing to do with anything.
So it would be far too selfish to ask Fluttershy to leave her world when she's clearly much happier there, and she's the driving force behind it.
I thought for a while. "I'm nobody." a voice in my head whispered sadly to me. "I don't like my old name. I hate my old name. Please, kind stranger give me a new one so that I can finally leave my tragic past behind. Please give me a name that will let me fit in with this new world you've brought me to."
So I thought for a while. "Well you're kind." I replied silently to no one in particular, "You're funny, you don't want to make things any worse or more complicated than they already are."
"These are good compliments." came the voice again "But I need a name."
"Well your coat is such a beautiful shade of cyan, and your beautiful eyes really help sell the fact that you would never lie to anyone, except when it would prevent them from feeling more pain, than if you told the truth. I love the way they sparkle just like stars, only much brighter."
"The last pony who even said the slightest nice things to me like this, was Rainbow Dash. And I'll never see Rainbow Dash again." I swore I heard a faint crying, quiet but nonetheless audible and could not help but look up from my paper to give the crowded a careful look over. No one was really crying. No one was really doing anything but silently scribbling away at some document, trying their best to each feign a smile as realistic as possible lest they be caught frowning by the boss who did not take kindly to negativity in his workplace.
"You fly quickly, you know the true value of friendship better than even the princess claiming to be "the princess of Friendship" since I can tell from the look in your honest eyes that you would gladly throw down your life to protect those you value even slightly. And if it came down to a situation where one of you or your friends had to die to keep the others alive, you'd do whatever you could to make sure the one chosen to die was you. And I really respect that." I quickly whispered, trying to comfort.
"I think." I eventually wrote down, feeling lucky once again that I had escaped being caught making noise "That you should be called Marie. Since Marie, unlike names like Button Mash or Diamond Tiara won't be made fun of, when you come into my world. And Marie is a simple name that reflects your simple personality."
"Are those the only reasons you're choosing such a beautiful name for me?" came the whisper that seemed to come from nowhere in the room.
"Aye. And also because its the name of the very friendly main character who I read about in my favorite book when I was still learning to read." I reply by writing on the piece of paper in order to not speak out.
"What book was that?"
"It's a beautiful story that went like "Although Marie lives in France, she would like to go to university in Germany." That was the basic plot, and it's a lot like what you're trying to do now."
So now I had a name for my beautiful pony, or horsie as I preferred to call her.
The next question was "What would her catchphrase be?" After all, every halfway decent friend needed some sort of mantra to live by, so that they could better inspire their fellows to accomplish greater deeds.
I had never properly paid attention when the English teacher was rambling on and on about vocabulary and sentence structure, and hence had never really had a particularly wide vocabulary to pick from when I wanted to choose a phenomenal sentence good enough to do a good event or person the justice they deserved.
And I didn't want my pony to have a second rate motto like "keep calm and carry on." or "Actions spoke louder than words.". Those were obvious life lessons that too many people would reply "Deja vu" to, before blocking their ears to show they were not listening anymore.
"I was a very reckless pony back in my days in the pony world" came that gentle whisper almost too faint to make out "I came to this world because none of the ponies liked me anymore after what I did, and I wanted for them to be left in peace since all I would ever do was cause them more trouble by staying. Even my old friend Rainbow Dash didn't want to see me again after what I did."
"What did you do to make them mad? What could such a nice, gentle filly like yourself do to deserve such hatred?" I whisper under my breath, tears forming in my eyes.
"I don't want to talk about it. But if there's one lesson I've learned from my own experience as well as from Twilight's friend, one Starlight Glimmer, its that any character trait falls apart when taken to an extreme. Too much determination and you get recklessness. Too much kindness and you get naivety. You get the picture don't you. Everything in moderation is best."
"So what do you want to do now?"
"I just want to make others happy. Do things that show I've really changed for the better so that just maybe, I'll hate myself a bit less."
I thought for a long time about what a good friend meant at least to me. Loyal to the very end, and prepared to help others with their problems regardless of whether they felt like it or not. To me these were the two qualities I really wanted to see, in the unlikely event that I did get a friend one day.
But how could those two defining traits be put into a killer catchphrase, which would look great whether spoken out loud or printed onto a business or calling card. Which would even appear catchy written as graffiti on a bridge.
I went through every recess of my mind, carefully searching for any even slightly catchy sentences or jargons which would fit the bill for such a altruist, and for a long time I heard only static in my brain.
It was like an epiphany when I finally realized just the sentence needed for this occasion, when I remembered the lovely episode of that epic Spy Show no one watched but me, which I still had to wait several hours to get home for.
It gave me something to strive for each day at work, however challenging the day turned out to be. I began to hum the tune, feeling much needed energy return to my exhausted and weakened body with every note.
"Let's just hope the producers of that lovely show don't hire a sniper to come looking for the awful criminal that stole one of their best ideas." I thought guiltily to myself as with a heavy heart I wrote down next beneath the title that read "catchphrase", the words "Call me beep me when you wanna reach me." deliberately spelling some of the words wrong.
Or perhaps, the sniper would cut this thief some slack when they realized that my pony was in a very bizarre way trying to promote their brand, and only blow off my limbs rather than shooting me outright in the head.
"Cellphones are wonderful things that we in the pony world would never have" sighed the voice, again seeming to come from nowhere and to be heard by no one but me. "So many friends for me to talk to. So many friends waiting for me to come and meet them. So much potential to get into contact so quickly with friends I never knew I liked. This pony really won't ever turn her cellphone off even if it disturbs her good night sleep. It's worth it for just how many friends it gives me."
I nodded happily, realizing that this meant she liked my catchphrase for her.
But there were still a ton of qualities for me to think up if I really wanted a vivid, lucid image of my perfect pony.
She now had a name, and a catchphrase. But now we needed to define what she liked and disliked, since this was a huge part of what made people and ponies alike unique, and affected a large part of what they were good at and how they reacted differently to the same situations.
Well firstly she needed a job if she was going to come and live in this unfair world, where starvation was an imminent threat for those who had inadequate talent. Like me.
"I don't want to be an executive" the voice pleaded. "Spitfire's the only executive for the team I was once a part off, and I don't deserve her title. And I don't want to be a doctor either, since I'm nowhere near as gifted or reliable as good Fluttershy. She's the only doctor for me. Any pony else is just a quack posing as a doctor to scam some money. You might as well turn me into a janitor, and even that would be too good a job for me after the awful things I did to my friends."
"How about an athlete?" I suggested "Your big powerful wings, and your strong legs tell me you like sports a lot. And if you were once in the Wonderbolts which is an elite flying team, you must have been really good at sports at one point or another. And athletes are paid really well."
"Don't mention athletes anymore. Please mention nothing to do with athletes. If I hadn't been so into flying and sports, five ponies might never have needed to be put in so much danger unnecessarily, and I would probably be much happier now.
I'm not athlete material. I never was. Rainbow Dash is the real athlete. I'm nothing but a wannabe pretender, even if a lot of ponies say I fly well. I promised Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash that doing competitive sports of any sort would be the furthest thing from my mind. I'm perfectly happy with watching others like Dash do amazing stunts, and I do still like watching other better ponies playing sports even if I don't deserve to play in any myself."
A small, look of glee crossed my face as I realized that everything could work out just fine for Marie to get her reputation back.
"Be a cheerleader." I happily remarked, so excited about the exciting career Marie was about to pursue, that I didn't realize I was raising my voice loud enough for the worker beside me to hear every word.
"You can still do the amazing stunts you love to do, and others will still pay money to come and look at you like they would if you were actually an athlete. But best of all, the stunts you'll get to perform will be even more edgy and extreme than the ones an athlete would take part in (I know you love risks) and..."
But before I could say and write down the rest, the worker beside me had gotten up and strode out of the room.
I knew what that meant and quickly hid the piece of paper I had been drawing on in a trouser pocket, praying I would not be searched.
Author's Note
Thank you so much once again for reading. So did you enjoy how this chapter played out.
Did you think that anything could have been done better by a beginner writer such as myself. How do you think things will play out with our poor main character now that he has a rival who is on his secret thoughts. I would like to hear your thoughts on how chapter 2 turned out. I apologize sincerely if chapter 3 might never come out or not come for a long time,but I'm sure by now you've tired of this. But thanks for reading, and any comments would be very good for support since this took a lot of work to check and type. Thanks and bye.