A lot of ponies call me a jerk, a snob, a royal pain in the hindquarters, everything you can possibly think of and the sad truth is they're right. All my life I've acted in away unbecoming of a gentlecolt. It all started when I was young all the friends I ever had only liked me because Celestia was my aunt, actually my great aunt, but the specifics don't matter. The only real friend I had was my brother, Young Blood. We laughed, we played, we pulled all sorts of pranks, but it was only when we stayed at auntie's place from time to time.
Our parents were extremely strict they always said "you two are royalty, start acting like it, don't associate yourselves with the lower class, don't wear common cloths, only the finest materials, don't eat common food, only the finest cuisine, and most importantly don't date outside royalty, it'll taint the royal blood. We won't be here forever." Young Blood and I never let their words get us down, but as time moved on, the fake friends got worse and something snapped in me, I decided if they thought I was better than them I would act like it. I started treating them like dirt, demanding them to do the simple task I could've done myself like getting my groceries and opening doors.
It wasn't long after I started acting like that, that I thought that I was out of line, I started to feel bad and figured I should change, because a beautiful mare asked me out that day, she had a mane as soft as silk and a voice of a siren, I thought I had found real compassion that didn't involve my background, boy was I wrong, when she and I met for the date she admitted she always wished she was royalty and how she finally found a prince she could marry to become a princess and to brag to her friends about.
I flipped my lid, I told he that "I don't want to see her again, that I thought I finally found real compassion and that how I thought her voice was of that of a siren, but now sounds like a harpy." From that day forward I built up a wall and hid behind a mask, if all the ponies I meet think of me as a prince and nothing more I will give them that, and from that day I didn't just lose my kindness, I lost my chivalry.
It went on like that for awhile until the Grand Galloping Gala that auntie throws every year, it has been about ten years since Young Blood went to live in Manehattan to get away from his past of royal descent, the night he moved out was when he finally stood up to our parents he told them that "he was not like them and he would never be" I've never heard father and mother so angry. Five years after Young Blood moved out our parents died I was there for their funeral, but Young Blood never showed, then again no pony really showed up, it was pretty much just me, auntie, and a few of their royal friends, but no pony had much to say except auntie who showed great sadness in losing another family member since the Nightmare Moon incident.
Back to the Gala though I met Rarity, but she only cared that I was a prince so I behaved just awful to her and one of her friends. I should've been honest with Rarity and told her how I felt and I should've never acted the way I did with the apple fritter, truthfully it was really good and I may have even hurt her friend's feelings when I did that, it must have taken her hours to make them. I actually really deserved Rarity shaking that cake on me after I used her as a pony shield and ruined her beautiful dress. It was after that night I figured it is time for a change,but the ghosts of my past still haunts me, I would like to change, but would anypony forgive me? Maybe in time I can work up the courage to apologize to everypony, especially Rarity, but truth be told I only think of her as a friend.
I actually saw Rarity again after that, it was when she was staying at Canterlot for a few days, I actually wanted to apologize, but I couldn't bring up the nerve, what if she doesn't forgive me, what if she doesn't want to hear what I have to say? I ended up holding my tongue and just let her be. I just hope in time I can work up the courage to make amends.
A lot of time as passed since then and I'm still loathed by everypony and I get depressed over it, they all say "there goes someone who'll shove you in front of a train to keep himself clean." I'll admit I should have never done that, I try to apologize to everypony I've wronged when I can, I even found the mare I said I never wanted to see again to apologize, but she just slammed the door in my face.
I decided to end it all, I couldn't deal with the guilt anymore so I jumped into the nearest lake and into the deepest part. I was knocked out and began to drift, but i awoke and saw a pony dripping wet, I told him he should have just let me die, that he knew how I was and that he was one of the ponies that hated me. He asked me why I thought he hated me, so I answered, I reminded him that he was the one that beat me up after what I did Rarity at the gala, he said that was in the past and even then he didn't hate me, just didn't like me, that it wasn't his nature to hate, he told me offing myself wasn't the way to go, that for others to forgive me I must forgive myself first he also said he couldn't let a family member just off themselves and that my brother in Manehattan would be devastated if he heard I killed myself.
After he saved me I finally got to apologize to everypony I wronged, even Rarity who surprisingly is the wife of the pony who saved me, she accepted and gave me a hug letting me know that it is all water under the bridge.
I also apologized to Applejack who is the cousin to the pony who saved me, but a question rang in my head, how did this pony who saved me know my brother, so I asked him, he said that he's met him a few times and that they visit each other from time to time and that we're closer than I realize.
I may have earned everypony's forgiveness, but I still have to earn their trust,which will be easier since I found the part of myself that I lost when I was young
