The Universe is a Frog [and Other Existential Things]

by MidnightMuse

First published September 9th, 2017 20:00

She awoke one bright summer morning in the jungles south of Equestria. She wasn't all black chitin, like many she meets expect. She was a mix of chitin and fur, two cat-like ears atop her head, red coloring like bright and burning fire. She was nameless by choice until she found a new name for this new land she found herself in. She was hiveless. She was scarred yet had no holes-of-hunger. She was cat-like in mannerisms, motherly in her actions toward most any species' young, and let us not forget her magic that when used, was always accompanied by music.

She was incredibly odd, for a changeling queen.

And she just so happened to be me, one of the creators of this universe who now has holes in her memory.

Chapters

The Current State of the Universe

The Current State of the Universe
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The Universe is a Frog [and Other Existential Things]

The Current State of the Universe

The last thing I remembered was a large white door, reaching for the handle, and opening it. I had won something. No, we had won. Who else had been there? Friends?

Thoughts like this were buzzing around in my skull for the past five minutes with no end on the horizon. I knew things about myself, but not anyone else. I knew about what I had gone through to get to that door, knew that opening it was, if maybe indirectly, what sent me here.

But I could not for the life of me remember too much else. It was all fuzzy, static against a backdrop of fog where occasionally clarity could be found to form pieces of pieces of memories.

Five minutes, twenty seconds and counting, and already I wanted to scream.

I was not even vaguely human shaped. Looking around, I found a puddle to examine myself in. I kept my cat features, for one reason or another, at least the ears, and the red square patches were still there among the mix of fur and chitin. At least that's what I remembered it was called.

God dang why did I have to end up in a jungle, of all places? Why did this new universe have to have a jungle on the habitable planet that I just so happened to land on? Why must there be rain?

My focus kept slipping as my mind drifted from one topic to the next, even as I struggled for a while -twelve minutes two seconds, three, four- with standing and then walking like a proper four legged creature. Because that's what I was now, apparently.

I'd been through enough bull crap to not be flying off the handle, here, but this was up there on the list of "insane and should be impossible things that happened to me". It was getting pretty close to my tolerance of what the universe threw in my face and said here, deal with this.

Jungle flora and fauna passed me by as I somehow buzzed angrily, growling under my breath at how much effort it took me to stay in this frame of mind and not just settle down and go with the flow like I usually did. I didn't want to calm down, but years of listening to my instincts made me at least start to listen to them.

I'd get nowhere without a clear head.

I just wanted to rage against all of Paradox Space because what kind of trick is it trying to pull here? It gave me -and others- our reward after five years and this is what we get? What I get? Hardly any clear memory of said others, a form I'm nowhere near used to yet, and dropped in the middle of nowhere?

More than the want to be angry, though, I wanted to cry.

Whether it was out of relief for finally, finally being done with that stupid game, or sadness, or some other third emotion I couldn't identify, I didn't know.

It didn't stop tears from collecting in my eyes, blurring my vision as I walked further with no idea of the direction I was taking nor any clue as to what was around me. Bad move, I know now, but at that point it was just, the whole situation was too much for me to handle by myself.

If I'd been a troll I'd be needing a moirail right about now. Badly. Heck, I needed one, had needed one in the game, even though I was human. No way was anyone in my group expected to be handling their crap by themselves. A venting memo had been created, at first, to help with that and, at least in theory, keep our group intact. Afterward it was up to the individual if they wanted to form that kind of relationship with someone else considering its platonic nature for humans and romantic one for trolls.

It was a suggested thing, really, since we had a mix of trolls and humans. That first year had been rough on all of us, to say the least. It didn't take long for it to practically become unspoken law.

So where in this blasted genesis frog were they? Did I end up actually having a moirail? Why could I not remember if they were troll or human? Why couldn't I even remember their name and yet know generally what had gone on with our group of, of six? Eight?

I stopped and let out a frustrated, strangled sound that dissolved into a sob.

So much for being able to handle this.

I held my breath, shaking my head and closing my eyes tight in an attempt to bury these emotions. It took more minutes than I cared to keep track of even as some part of me would always be aware of the seconds that tick on by. Several minutes passed before I felt calm enough to plan ahead.

I hated not being in control of my emotions.

So. What's first on the list of things to do?

Find a safe place, preferably underground, but dark if not.

Um, what? I do not like this plan, brain, give me something else. Darkness and I are not, in fact, old friends. Derse dreamer notwithstanding. Darkness and just a lack of sight in general unnerved me enough to go "Nope". I'd take being teased for having a nightlight over this.

Low light, warm, well protected.

... I can work with that. At least in the jungle it wasn't bound to get any colder than idk, 60 degrees Fahrenheit? Something like that. It'd be warm and I prefer warmth over freezing my skinny little butt off whenever it dropped below said 60 degrees. Yeah, as a human I hadn't had thick skin worth crap, and even with layers of clothes I could still feel the cold chill me to the bone.

Now that I had my priorities in order and had sufficiently put a stop to the panicking that had been going on in the board room in my head, I was a happy...whatever it is that I had become. Somewhere on that mental list was to find out what species I was now, I swear.

Determinedly not thinking about what had gotten me upset, I turned my gaze outward. Despite being chalk full of creepy crawly bugs and generally creatures that I'd put into my "cool...from a distance" category, it really was pretty here. Everything was so colorful and vibrant that I found myself stopping more than once on my search to inspect something new and interesting.

This is mine.

It took a while for the thought to sink in properly, even as I knew in my heart I still didn't understand what it meant yet.

This world is beautiful, just like Earth was. Like Alternia[1] was.

This is what we have created.

And kill me justly if I ever let it fall to ruin.

Author's Note

[1] - She's from a universe where Alternia and its moons took the place of Mars.

This particular story is mainly going to be a way to test myself and my writing but if people like this concept of a Homestuck AU x MLP AU, then I'll venture to continue it and update it more regularly.

As you may see, I'm out of practice with writing in first person. This is sure to be fun. :pinkiehappy:

The MLP AU takes the concepts from it's half of my other story but is set years earlier.