The Confuzzling Commendation of Sir Rainbow Dash
Rainbow Dash was having a great day.
First off, a celebration with all of her work colleagues and a swanky medal, then a slice of lemon meringue pie at Sugarcube Corner with a side order of creme fraiche, adoration, and praise.
Throughout both encounters, Rainbow’s grin had been affixed to her face. As much as she tried to keep her cool, her wings had a mind of their own, and constantly served to prove just how excited and overwhelmed she really was.
She knew it was only going to get better. Things may have been exciting all day, ridiculously so, but it was only a warm up to the main event, like stretching her wings before a particularly good flight. As much as she had experienced heavy celebration for her acts in the past, a couple of things had changed since.
First off, she had matured. Rainbow would always enjoy being the hero, but she tried not to let that feeling, nor the rush that came with performing a heroic act affect her personality all too much. Maybe it was past experiences, maybe it was the time she had had since joining the Wonderbolts to age and mature, but she was definitely more humble than she had been a few years ago.
Second, it had never been on this scale. Rainbow lightly drifted through the sky, small beats keeping her aloft as she twisted at high altitude, watching the world spiral beneath her, hoping it would stop her head from spinning. No such luck.
Rainbow had been locally celebrated as a hero before, she was very popular in Ponyville. She was also known throughout Equestria as an Element Bearer, but more through name than face, and even then she was one of six Elements, none of her and her friend’s feats were specifically down to her.
Even in the Wonderbolts, a group of elite fliers, she was still considered to be a new member, and was nowhere near as well known as Spitfire and Soarin, nor as revered. Still, there were a fair few ponies that idolised her, and her name had spread exceptionally far over the last few years, to the point that she had a steadily building fanclub, a thought that always made her chuckle. She could almost be considered a celebrity, but again, she was only one of many Wonderbolt fliers, despite various accolades.
What she had lacked was something that could be attributed directly to her. She had won the Best Young Fliers Competition, and even been told by Celestia herself that she was the best flier in Equestria, but that claim had never been put in writing. Besides, the competition was barely even acknowledged by non-pegasi. Even her place taking silver in the Equestria Games was during a team event. Besides, even if it hadn’t been, silver wasn’t her style.
If she had lacked something truly special to make her shine in the eyes of ponies everywhere, she definitely had it now, and the impact was so staggering that it made Rainbow’s stomach flip as she rolled through the clouds.
Two weeks ago, at a Wonderbolts show in Cloudsdale, an airship carrying hundreds of spectators had experienced engine failure. With every other Wonderbolt so absorbed in their routine, Rainbow had been the first to notice. She had always had an uncanny ability to pick up on her surroundings, even amongst pegasi, and that perception aided her in averting disaster.
Before anyone had even realised what was wrong, Rainbow heard the clamour and confusion on the deck of the airship, differing from the usual cheers and gasps of awe. When she focused on the offending vessel, she saw that the turbines were slowly but surely stalling, and it was only a matter of time before it took a nose dive, taking hundreds of wingless ponies with it.
Singlehoofedly, she had taken lapels from the vessel and anchored them to surrounding airships, trying to buy time and stabilise the ship, but she had made a grave error. She attempted to tie the ship’s mast to a large pillar made of cloudstone, assuming its integrity to be enough to offset the plummet without taking the differences between pegasus and earth pony building materials into question.
The weight of the airship proved to be too great for the neighbouring ships and nearby pillars to handle. While everyone breathed a sigh of collective relief before beginning to cheer, having watched Rainbow at work and assumed that the crisis was averted, the pillar gave way and the airship began to plummet towards earth, thousands of feet below.
By now, the other Wonderbolts were blindly looking to Rainbow Dash for direction. No one else took the initiative to try something, and Rainbow knew that she had to act, or have the death of hundreds on her conscience. If no one else in the stadium would step forward to save them, it would have to be her, but how?
Acting faster than she could think, she ordered the rest of the team to start grabbing ponies from the ship and flying them over to Cloudsdale. Then, she zoomed off to find any unicorns on the surrounding vessels, ordering them to cast cloudwalking spells on as many of the endangered ponies as they could. With her orders given, she took a vantage point and assessed the situation, her breath shaky, her wings laboured and stressed.
It wasn’t enough. Rainbow watched the pace with which the airship fell with growing trepidation, fully aware that it was gaining velocity with each second. Meanwhile, she took in the scene on the deck of the airship. The ponies ran amok in panic, some on the verge of being pushed overboard, all fighting to be the next to be saved, offering up their children to be taken, trying not to fall off of the ship and down to the hard, merciless ground below.
Meanwhile, the unicorns on the surrounding ships seemed to be growing fatigued. Many had dimming horns, some were even sprawled out on the floor, struggling to stay conscious. Rainbow made a quick calculation, estimating that they might be able to save a third of the ponies on the ship. At this rate, it was likely that at least three hundred would hit the ground.
Cursing, she took wing, chasing the horizon as friends, colleagues, and spectators alike screamed after her in panic and confusion. When she had gone far enough, she turned back to regard the descending airship, paying close attention to the trajectory, sacrificing much of the little time she had left before it impacted.
Grimacing heavily, she shook the quiver from her lip and gulped hard, locking her eyes with the hull with unshakable determination. She may have been scared, she may have been terrified, she may have had no idea whether her hastily strewn together idea would help or hinder manners, but she was Rainbow Dash damn it, and whether this was the most reckless thing she had ever done or not, she was determined to try.
Flashing a small grin at the unforgiving terrain beneath her, daring it to claim a victim, she pushed forwards, every fibre of her being focused into a conical thrust, aimed directly at the underside of the ship. If she could get her positioning and timing just right, she could potentially produce enough of a shockwave to elevate and straighten the ship, giving her ponies the time they needed to save everyone.
There were too many variables though. Rainbow knew as she flew that no matter how well she understood flight dynamics, there was no guarantee that she would be able to hit a rainboom this powerful in such a controlled burst, much less aim it. As she approached, steadily gathering speed, she saw her strike point and angled toward her target. The window between collision, missing the vessel completely, and perfection was miniscule.
I don’t care about the odds. Rainbow desperately reminded herself as she drove her body forwards in earnest, letting all of her mental resistance go, giving in to her inner daredevil, the abstract muse that had led her this far in life unscathed, it could take her further still, it would save everyone.
Feeling the intensity grow, she habitually squeezed her eyes shut as she saw a foreign object so close to her direction, the crashing ship a few seconds from her. One little slip, and she could burst through the ship, effectively damning every pony on it in the process.
They’re dead if I fail, but they’re also dead if I do nothing. Rainbow opened her eyes against her better judgment, staring at the airship with pure drive and unwavering strength. She would do this, she was doing this. It was time to show all of Equestria just what she could do, what she had to do.
Pushing her jaw in and gritting her teeth, she gave it everything, every facet of energy directed into her acceleration, a small voice in the back of her mind willing her to guide her flight upwards with gravity against her. This was it.
A bombastic explosion of colour. An airship rocketing back into the sky, Rainbow streaking over the bow of the ship, collecting as many ponies as she could as she maintained her acceleration, making ten, twenty, fifty trips in less than a minute. A pause, a conversation with the same unicorns. A levitation spell on the ship, it weighed less now that so many ponies had been taken from it.
A fainting Rainbow, caught by the clouds of her home city, lifted onto the withers of the many souls she preserved with her heroism. First calm reigned, and then celebration. An event was held in her honour, which near all of the spectators attended, as well as many others including her friends and parents. Rainbow couldn’t shake her confusion at the mental shift between calm, grateful, and uncharacteristically bashful. She almost felt like Fluttershy.
It was the gravity of the situation, the sheer magnitude of it. Before, in the heat of the moment, it had been instinct, a need to act and to succeed at all costs, with no thought of failure. Now, it was the faces of hundreds of ponies she had either saved personally or helped to save. It was having them stand in front of her and her team, having Spitfire push her forwards and having to address them. It was the cacophonous noise of almost five hundred grateful ponies, all of whom had another reason to thank her.
It was the cheers and the laughs and the smiles and the happiness. It was the reporters in her face wishing to get her perspective on the situation, and even they appeared to be truly happy.
The event was like an infection, almost, just hearing of it seemed to put a smile on another pony’s face, and that smile was always aimed directly at Rainbow Dash.
When Rainbow was publicly awarded the Wonderbolt’s highest medal for gallantry, the crowd had grown tenfold. For every pony that she had saved, they must have invited half of their families and friends to witness their saviour. Rainbow had accepted the medal with a bowed head, and managed to choke out a few words at a podium.
It was heartwarming, of course, and it made her proud. She loved that she had been recognised for such an accomplishment, and was sure this would be the crowning moment in her legacy, and she was immensely glad that she had been able to positively impact the lives of so many. Seeing the faces of those she had saved was something new to her, and for the last two weeks that coupled with the lack of even a single fatality had kept her warm at night.
It would have been perfect if it wasn’t all so terrifying. It was strange, really. Stunt flying should have been terrifying, but she was used to it. Rushing headfirst into danger was scary as hell sometimes, but the rush that came with it was so invigorating, the fear made her feel alive. Juggling the fate of others in her hooves came with a slightly sickening feeling, but it was outweighed by a sense of duty. When she flew at that airship, she knew she didn’t have a concrete plan, and that what she did had just as much a chance of killing everyone on that ship and herself as it did saving them, but she proceeded regardless, despite all of her mental warnings.
Self-preservation took a backseat when lives were on the line. Rainbow sighed in annoyance, ordering her thoughts on this topic was proving difficult. The problem was that when those lives were saved and the adrenaline wore off, the fear started to set in. In retrospect, what she had done was reckless and impulsive, and by all means had a good chance of being a needless sacrifice, but she had persisted regardless. Once, it might have been a sense of image, knowing that if she was to go out, it would be in an attempt to save others, foolish pride.
Now, her need to help others greatly outweighed her wish for glory, she already had that in abundance. Truthfully, she knew she had always strived for more, a definitive moment that would set her apart from every other flier for generations, something that would truly make her a legend. Now that she had accomplished such a feat, the sickening feeling seemed to return, but she couldn’t place why.
Rainbow flew low over a river, frowning at her own impeccable reflection, a sparkling red and purple medal reflecting off of her chest where it proudly sat. The medal would serve as a constant reminder of her actions, not that she needed one. Every pony she met was happy to fill that role. Even around her friends, it was difficult to steer the conversation away from her actions for long.
I’m just like any other pony. Rainbow again sought to remind herself, stronger wingbeats producing ripples in the water, distorting the image of her reflection. But I already know that I’m awesome… So why do other ponies need to constantly tell me how awesome I am? I mean, don’t they know I know that?
All of Rainbow’s current reminders, from the thankful, adoring words of the ponies she saved to the medal on her chest paled in comparison to what laid ahead. Rainbow Dash was to be knighted by Princess Celestia in recognition of all of her feats of bravery.
Rainbow Dash could count the amount of ponies that she knew to have been knighted in her lifetime on her hooves, that’s how small the number was. In fact, there was a good chance that more ponies currently held royal stations than knighthoods, and that fact alone made this pretty special.
The last pegasus to be knighted was a weather scientist named Lady Nimbus, a visionary who had made huge advances in the field of weather production, and that had been almost a hundred years before Rainbow was born, yet every pegasus knew about her. Her theories were still taught in flight schools, and her contributions to modern Equestrian life were still discussed with appreciation and praise to this day.
It was slowly beginning to dawn on Rainbow that she could be the next Lady Nimbus. Not just that, but she wouldn’t be remembered for enriching the lives of ponies, she’d be remembered for protecting them, helping them live to see another day, and looking pretty kickass while doing it!
But would she ever get any peace afterwards? Rainbow was incredibly excited, but she couldn’t help but wonder how much these changes would impact her life. As it was, she was still able to go for a walk or a fly without being flagged down in the street by fans and sycophants, but how would things be afterwards? Would she have to hide away, and not show her face?
Rainbow thought back to what Fluttershy had told her about her time as a model, how she had needed to run from swarming fans and couldn’t so much as do her grocery shopping without ponies coming from out of town just to get a photo of her. Would ponies really be that desperate with her? Would she enjoy it, or find it a nuisance? The idea sounded pretty intrusive to her. While Rainbow didn’t mind being photographed at Wonderbolt events, she was performing, that was kinda what she was there for, she reasoned. But for ponies to turn up outside her house, itching to get a peek of her? She was sure she’d quickly become the shy one of the group.
Fluttershy’s really starting to come out of her shell now anyway, she’d probably handle this better than me, instead of getting all jittery and stuff… Scowling, Rainbow slapped herself across the muzzle. “Snap out of it!” she barked to the sky. “You’re not a little schoolfilly, you’re the Rainbow Dash, the best there is! I shouldn’t be afraid of that little ceremony, it should be scared of me, and how much better I’ll be than anyone else who’s ever been a knight!”
Grinning wickedly, she angled herself towards Canterlot, the excitement building in her chest once more. Luckily, she managed to repress any other feelings, and felt a fresh wave of pride and happiness course through her veins as she reminisced over her recent feat and all the good it had brought.
As she passed back over the river, she winked at her reflection, which was now heavily distorted.
Rainbow Dash didn’t like walking.
She avoided it where she could help it, preferring to be in the air at all times, where she felt most comfortable and safe, where she spent most of her time. If she had somewhere she needed to be, a few flaps of her wings and she could rush to it. If she had somewhere she didn’t want to be, she could be gone in seconds.
Rainbow wished she could be gone in seconds.
All around her, trumpets and fanfare announced her arrival. She was clad head to hoof in ceremonial armour –which she had been forced into not moments before she began her walk– and in the distance, at the top of a pedestal overseeing the Royal Palace’s courtyard, Celestia stood with a placid smile on her face. Beside her was Luna, and near the podium she spotted her five counterparts, all smiling, some waving, one cheering.
Rainbow wanted to pause and drink in the scene, to consider the disparity between the feeling the royal proceedings gave her, and the feeling her friends’ smiling faces provided. She wanted to remind herself just how proud everypony was of her, just how proud and happy she should be. She wanted to look at Celestia with a barely contained anticipation, before bursting onto the stage and accepting her title with a surefire grin, before performing a spectacular aerial feat for the entire crowd, all gathered in her honour.
She wanted all of that, but still found it difficult not to be rooted in place, not to turn around and leave, not to tear off the stuffy, heavy armour and take to the skies, free and liberated from the combined weight of everyone’s kind words, everyone vying for her attention like she was something to be worshipped.
She was the best flier in Equestria, she knew, but she was still a pony like any of the others gathered there. She brushed her mane, she reminded herself as she trotted past a well kempt unicorn mare, she slept at night, she paid her bills, she worked her job. Sure, she might have been a little special, but was there really anything to warrant this… This gathering?
Rainbow Dash stood before the sole rulers of Equestria, behind her was a crowd of thousands, maybe tens of thousands. The fact that she couldn’t tell frustrated her. Usually, she’d be able to count every pony in the area in a few moments, but now even her senses were failing her. All there was was the title before her and the exit behind her.
Rainbow was sure she was just getting pre-performance jitters. She might not be flying right now, but this thing was a performance in of itself, and the crowd gathered was larger than some of those her and the ‘bolts saw even on tour. She’d get up there and she’d play her role, and she’d love every second of it, she just knew it.
Trepidation slowly being replaced by excitement, she increased her pace as much as she could afford to, trotting swiftly but dutifully up the steps to where Celestia stood, a ceremonial sword beside her.
Seeing the princess’s matching expressions of calm joy, both cast directly at her kindled a flame in her chest. Before she knew it, her her heart was steadily pumping, the gravity of the situation sinking in once more, but as a cause of celebration, rather than fear. It took all of Rainbow Dash’s conscious effort not to fluff out her wings and jump in place.
When Celestia stepped forwards, a hush fell over the huge crowd, quickly spreading like a wave of forced silence. Magically amplifying her voice, she spoke to one and all.
“Today, we are gathered to celebrate heroic deeds of a wonderful pony, a pony I have had the pleasure of knowing for years now, one I can always rely upon to help others in their time of need.” Celestia’s eyes sparkled as she spoke, Rainbow bit her lip to stop herself from squealing.
“Rainbow Dash, we are humbled by your presence. In an exceptionally short space of time, you have helped to save Equestria countless times, and now, you go above and beyond the call of duty by risking your life to save your own audience. Hundreds of mares, stallions and foals owe you their lives today, and thousands of their loved ones owe you their happiness and relief. What you have done for them is more than relying upon your friends, the other elements of harmony, for support, it is your own personal drive to protect and help the ponies around you.” Celestia flashed a small grin. “Fitting for the pony that represents the Element of Loyalty, hmm?”
Rainbow slowly dragged a hoof across the floor, eyes downcast as she fought away tremors. “Uhh, y-yeah, I guess, uh—” she trailed off, grateful that Celestia quickly picked her speech up, carrying on as if nothing had happened.
“In light of your most recent feat of valour, you will be granted knighthood, in commemoration of your services to Equestria and your fellow ponies. We, the princesses and the people alike, offer this title to you in order to return even a modicum of what you have so selflessly given us, and to show our everlasting thanks. In a thousand moons, ponies will still speak of Rainbow Dash, the pegasus that lifted an entire airship with the power of her wings and her heart alone, saving hundreds. Now, Rainbow, Luna, if you would?”
Rainbow Dash had been briefed on the process when her armour was fitted. Stepping forwards, she gingerly kneeled on her back and then front hooves, sat atop a pedestal the height of her hooves. When she was knelt in place she bowed her head.
She felt the cold steel of a jewelled sword touch her right wither, then her left, and heard a soft yet commanding voice echo throughout the courtyard as the Night Princess spoke. “Avancez Chevalier au nom de celeste.”
It all felt so heavy, such a powerful moment, one minute she was Rainbow Dash, Wonderbolt, Element of Harmony, fastest flier in Equestria. Now she was something else entirely. Her heart’s fibrillation could have drowned out the entirety of her surroundings, every last pony. When she rose, she would be a new pony, a protector of Equestria.
She opened her eyes to find her vision had blurred slightly. She fumbled once before standing upright, the armour feeling heavier than she remembered. When she looked to Celestia, she found her eyes fixed on her flowing mane, constantly moving against gravity’s pull as her head spun.
“By my power as princess, I now dub you ‘Sir Rainbow Dash, Knight of Equestria’.”
Rainbow barely heard the words. She turned to regard the citizens, her citizens, despite the sudden groaning resistance of each muscle she called upon.
There were dots in the edge of her vision. Raucous cheering, clapping, the trumpets resumed their commemorative assault on Rainbow’s eardrums. There was so much noise, so much pressure, it almost felt unreal.
Rainbow flashed a smile; it felt the right thing to do. When she stumbled in place, she thought little of it. When she felt the soft embrace of Celestia’s impressive wingspan blotting out the sun, she knew there was a problem.
She looked back at the crowd through half lidded eyes as she floated away towards the palace, her eyes drawn to expressions of shock and concern.
All Rainbow could feel was peace as she let sleep take over.
Sleep was fleeting. Rainbow awoke to the calm, dignified expression of Princess Celestia, watching over where she lay from a nearby seat. After a second of confusion, memories of the event came flooding back to her and she bit back a sigh.
“Good, you’re awake. You had a lot of ponies worried for a second. I will have Luna inform those waiting outside that you aren’t in any danger. Now, would you like to see any of your friends, Sir Rainbow?”
When Rainbow spoke, her voice was dull and lifeless. “Take it back.”
“I’m sorry?” Celestia asked, inclining her head.
“I said take it back,” Rainbow asserted, rolling over to look up at the ceiling. “The title, the knighthood, all of it. I don’t want it.”
“Rainbow Dash, why wouldn’t you want to be a knight? I cannot think of anypony more fitting or deserving of the title, which is precisely why Luna and I chose to bestow this upon you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Rainbow droned, her eyes tracing the gold framed portrait on the ceiling of the bedroom, “I just want it gone. I want things back to normal.”
Celestia was silent for a while, and Rainbow wasn’t stubborn enough to wait for a response forever. She tore her eyes from the ceiling, finding a confused expression on Celestia’s face. “If that is what you wish, I can do that. It will confuse a great many, but it is your right to ask. However, I have to ask why? I was convinced this would make you happy, yet it seems to have had the opposite effect.”
Rainbow’s eyes softened. “It’s the pressure, okay? I mean, you’ve… you’ve been princess for a real long time—uhh, no offense— and it’s like second nature for you, having ponies rely on you and stuff. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing myself or anything, but this is… Well, this is pretty big, you know?”
Rather than speaking, Celestia simply nodded, prompting Rainbow to continue.
As she spoke, Rainbow’s voice gained speed. “It’s all so overwhelming… I mean, at first it was just me doing what I do, you know, saving lives and stuff, it kinda comes with the job description when you’re an Element Bearer, but all of this praise and stuff? I-I let it get to my head last time, became a pony I don’t really wanna be. Now it’s just scary. It’s like, I’m not scared of being that arrogant, self-centred mare with a superiority complex or anything,” Rainbow’s eyes widened at her apt description of her past behaviour. “But I’m scared of something else… I’m not really sure what.”
“You’re scared that you will fail when a pony needs you?”
“No!” Rainbow defensively snapped, “I Just!—” Rainbow bit her lip, taking a shallow breath. “Maybe. I dunno. I mean, I’ve never really worried about that stuff before. With all the stuff I’ve done in my life, I guess I’ve never really had much in the means of self-preservation. Like, when I’m in the air, it’s just me and my wings, you know? I’m not thinking about whether I might hurt or kill myself, I’m thinking about being the best, and forget everything else, you know?”
Celestia’s head cocked, her eyebrows narrowed. “I think I understand what you’re saying, Rainbow, but I want to be sure that I’m right.”
“When it started being about other ponies, I noticed that my drive doubled. It’s weird, it’s like in that moment where Rarity was falling before, I was able to push forwards and do something I had failed to repeat for years… Even the first time, I had been racing to show some nasty pieces of work not to mess with my friend. It’s like when I stopped just thinking about myself, I managed to really accomplish something, and not just for me either. I was getting better, but I was helping ponies too. It was a better purpose than just wanting to be the best, you know?”
“I would like to think I do,” Celestia nodded. “For most of my life, my foremost concern has been the safety and happiness of my citizens, of all. It sounds as if that is just as important for you now.”
“I did something amazing two weeks ago, something I never could have done if it wasn’t for everyone that had ever believed in me. But still…” she trailed off, feeling her hooves beginning to tremble where she lay. “There was no guarantee, no way of knowing if what I did would work or not. Even in the moment, I didn’t know if I would be able to pull it off, but I forced myself to do it anyways… I told myself that this was it, if I didn’t act now, everypony was gonna die, t-that I was their only chance.”
“While I wasn’t present during the horrible accident, I’m sure you were their only chance, Rainbow. You should not be chastising yourself for taking a risk, you should be thankful and proud that once again your ability saved many ponies, ponies that wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t acted.”
“Ponies that also wouldn’t be here if I had failed…” Rainbow’s eyes hardened and her tone became abrasive. “Don’t you see? If I had failed, all of those ponies would have died, and I would have killed them! There was probably a fifty percent chance that what I did would work, but if I had failed, they all would have died. The Wonderbolts could have maybe saved a hundred more ponies in the time before it hit the ground… Sure, some would have still died, but with my rolling in like a freakin’ kamakaze bomber they would have had no chance! And you wanna… Congratulate that? Say I was brave? I was an idiot!”
Celestia shook her head, casting her caring, maternal gaze over Rainbow. “You mustn’t look at it that way. The point is that your bravery saved the lives of those ponies. You were willing to risk your life to protect them, and you accomplished something amazing in doing so. Nopony wishes to see you throw your life away, Rainbow Dash, least of all me, or your friends for that matter. But, we do wish for you to understand how much we appreciate your selfless nature, your willingness to make such a sacrifice to help others. There aren’t many ponies who would do what you did, now or in the past.”
Rainbow shrank back, pulling the blankets around her in a small cocoon. “But what if ponies expect more of me now? I hate to admit I have limits, but…” Rainbow sniffled slightly, “the fact is that I gave that everything, and only barely lived to tell about it. What about next time? What about the next time there’s a big threat and somepony goes, ‘Hey! We’ll get Rainbow Dash!’? What if I’m not there? What if a load of innocent ponies die, and other ponies think it’s my fault? Am I setting up an unrealistic expectation for others?”
“This title isn’t a job, Rainbow, it is a reward. Nopony expects you to be able to be everywhere at once, or to save everyone that ever needs help. Even a mare of your ability can only do so much.”
“But do ponies realise that? When Nimbus was knighted, it was for her contributions to weather science and technology. Her theories were pretty much infallible, and they’ve survived to this day. What she did was abstract, sure, but the result has been set in stone as one of the greatest pegasus accomplishments in generations. Point is, when she was knighted, her work was already done, she didn’t need to do anything else.”
Rainbow’s grip on the covers relaxed, and she heaved out a heavy sigh. Her next words carried a tinge of bitterness. “What about me? A hero is a hero. Yeah, I may have saved some ponies, but what about when I can’t anymore? I mean, I’m only gonna speed up for so long, right? Then I’ll start slowing down.”
“You resent your own mortality?”
“It’s not that. I know I won’t be the fastest forever, I’m not delusional. But when I do have to call it a day and hang up my flight suit, is anypony gonna be there to do what I just did? I mean, sure, plenty of ponies have been heroes before, and I’m sure there will be more after me, but I don’t know if I’m really the best example of what a good hero is... I mean, once upon a time, I saved ponies just for prestige. It’s not that I wanted anyone hurt, it’s just that I loved it when people told me how brilliant I was. Now, I don’t like it so much. If ponies put me on a pedestal, will anyone else even bother reacting if there’s a crisis?”
“Rainbow, I think you are being paranoid now. I’m sure that if there was a crisis, ponies wouldn’t look blindly to you for help, just because of your past. You must realise that while you have been publically acknowledged as a protector of ponies, that doesn’t make you—”
“You don’t know that though.” Rainbow’s eyes stared off into the distance, darting back and forth. “What if… What if the same thing happens again, only this time ponies don’t even worry about it, because everyone expects me to pull off some miracle and save the day?” Rainbow’s lip started to quiver. “What if it’s too much for me? I-I don’t know if I’m cut out for that, holding all those ponies lives in my hooves. I mean…” Her eyes began to water. “I’m just a normal pony, you can’t just expect me to be special, expect me to—I don’t know, to be perfect.”
“Rainbow, please, no one expects anything from you. You have earned your rest, and nopony is asking you to jump into the fray every time there is a pony in peril! I want you to understand that, understand that we are not asking you to always be the hero.” Celestia drew closer, placing a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder, but she flinched away, the fur beneath her eyelids wet.
“What happens when a pony dies on me, Celestia?” Rainbow rapidly shook her head, her voice raspy. “No, what happens when a load of ponies do? Maybe you don’t know what that feels like, maybe you’ve lived through so many deaths that they don’t affect you anymore, but I can’t imagine that… There’s a cart full of fillies running down the street, they’re about to crash but then ‘Look! It’s Rainbow! We’re saved!’. What happens when I don’t get there in time? What happens when I have to see the overjoyed look on those kids’ faces as they’re wiped off the face of the earth, wondering why I didn’t save them? What happens when—” She buried her face in the bedcovers, letting loose a single sob. She knew she was letting her imagination get the better of her, but she couldn’t help it. This was all too much.
Celestia came around the other side of the bed, sitting next to Rainbow. She allowed her a few moments to calm down, then draped a wing over her. Her voice as soft as her feathers, she spoke. “It’s okay to be scared, Rainbow. Would you like to know a little secret?”
This drew Rainbow out of hiding, she stared at Celestia with bloodshot eyes. “...What kind of secret?”
“You’re scared of letting ponies down? You’re scared that ponies will expect a lot from you? You’re scared that your actions might harm others?”
Rainbow slowly nodded.
Celestia slowly smiled. “I have had the exact same fears my whole life, every last one of them. All of the thoughts you are having, I had since before I became princess, and have had ever since. I’ll tell you something else, too, they never go away, ever.”
Rainbow’s head tilted, and she looked at Celestia with a question in her eyes. “How do you carry on? How do you do it?”
Celestia’s smile only widened. “I remember that the only reason I have those worries is that my ponies are my world, and I would give anything for them. I might make mistakes, and heavens know I have, but I will always try and try again, no matter how hard it may be, if it means that I can make my subjects happy and give them a good life. What you did two weeks ago, that was more than thought, planning, and caution. You risked everything to save everypony, rather than focusing on saving those you definitely could, because you have a good heart, Rainbow. You didn’t do it for glory, you didn’t do it to prove a point, you did it out of loyalty to those around you, and I see that now. Perhaps you need not worry about impressing other ponies so much, now that you have shown me the same.”
“I… I have?”
“The old Rainbow Dash would have jumped at the chance to be knighted, to sing her own praises and never let ponies forget about her heroism, not until the next death defying feat came along, at least. This Rainbow Dash still enjoys the attention she has earned, but maybe realises that there can be such thing as too much attention, and that such an enormous level can be nerve wracking, to say the least.”
Celestia moved her wing down, touching the medal that was still emblazoned on her chest.“This Rainbow Dash believes in helping others before anything else, perhaps to a fault, and it is this Rainbow Dash that is and will always be a knight, a protector of the people and the best one they could have at that, title or none. I know that if I were to rescind your title and strike the event from history, it would make no difference to your heroic nature, so as I have said, if you wish for that to happen, tell me, but I hope you’ll consider it first. Now, I must go and placate the crowd. I’m sure Luna is tired of manning the fort alone. Please feel free to rest here until you have recovered.”
Celestia withdrew her wing, standing and making her way to the door, leaving Rainbow Dash with her thoughts.
Hours later, after a second conversation with Celestia, Rainbow Dash left the Royal Palace, flying through Canterlot at a slow, relaxed pace.
She had wrestled with her decision for a long time, wondering if she was making the right choice, even when she made it. Part of her said that she was making a mistake, the rest told her to shut it.
Still, having it all over with felt like a big weight off her back. Well, that and the armour too. She had spoken to Celestia at length throughout her decision, listening to each of her opinions as best she could, and with more calm this time than before. Through their talks, she had managed to make it quite clear in her mind just what she wanted, just how she wished to progress with things from here on out.
Still, Rainbow was tired from the day’s events, and these were thoughts for the morning. As she began to pick up her pace, moving through the city centre with her worries finally on the edge of her mind, she picked up a sharp noise from far off in the city.
Somewhere a street or two to the right of her, the sound of ceramics shattering pierced the air, accompanied by a loud yelp of pain.
Rainbow Dash smiled wickedly, reciting a short mantra to herself.
“Never fear, your friendly—”
She cut herself off, her smile widening further.
“Sir Rainbow Dash is on the case!”
