RGRE Oneshots

by Retired5262020

Rating: mature
Tags: Anon, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Romance, Original Character, Second Person, Random, Sex, Main 6
Length: 11499

Various oneshots in the niche Reverse Gender Role Equestria. Contains explicit material.

A collection of shorts and one-shots written for the rather niche Reverse Gender Role Equestria universe. The name says everything. Tends to feature a human character.

Warning: Contains explicit sexual material and blatant wish fulfillment

Published 2017-09-09 23:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2021-11-10 00:27:11 UTC

Duty Bound (Explicit)

Duty Bound (Explicit)

You are Aegis, the prestigious personal pegasus protector to the one and only Royal Adviser Anonymous. And right now, you’re under his desk… “Servicing” him.

The guard never trained you for this, but you can’t complain. No straight mare will complain about the taste of a healthy male. Plus, he needed this. You know he did. Having to sit and dissuade Blueblood out of yet another tax hike for hours would build stress fast.Like any good guard, you live for the wellbeing of the one you protect.

He lets out a quiet sigh and a shiver as you bob up and down, his hand combing through your un-helmeted mane. Feeling bold, you raise yourself slightly and wrap a foreleg around each of his spread legs, pulling yourself closer to him. Your own body aches for a loving touch, but you push it away. Your own wants are unimportant here.

Slowly, you overcome the human’s ludicrous stamina. His hips gently buck into your mouth and his breathless pants become more audible. He starts to swell in your mouth, then -!

The door to the office slams open, followed by heavy, angry hoof-falls.

You freeze.

”Anonymous!”

You know that voice. Of all the times Blueblood could have walked into Anon’s study, why now?!?

If he finds you like this, you’ll be discharged for sure. The damnable prince will insist you manipulated Anon in some way.

A hand on your head stops you from jumping and smashing into the bottom of the desk.

”So, what can I do for you today my Prince?” You hear Anon ask.

”Humpf. For one, you could stop with all the useless drivel you gave me earlier. The plebeians will be fine with my proposal.”

”I’m still a little unsure, my Prince.”

Oh Celestia, what do you do?!

The hand on the top of your head falls to your neck, gently pulling you forward and running your mouth along his length again.

Does he… Want you to keep going? With somepony else in the room?

Your lord is bold, you know this, but this situation is jumping right into LEWD territory. Nonetheless, you start slowly bobbing your head again, making generous use of your tongue to compensate for the lack of speed.

You try to tune out Blueblood, concentrating on the taste in your mouth and trying to find what spots were most sensitive. Though you wouldn’t be surprised if the stuck-up unicorn could smell your arousal.

The Adviser keeps running his fingers through your mane, and you vaguely hear the elbow of his other arm come to rest on the desk. Now the chatter of the two males has faded to background noise and you focus on your task.

Praying that you don’t gag, you dive down so far that your muzzle rests on his belt. So far that his tip now rests in your throat. You swallow, making the muscles around him pull and suck only to gain nothing.

His speech doesn't even waver.

Eyes watering, you pull away again, so far that you're left kissing the human’s glans. Seven more times he penetrates your throat, and on number eight, he swells again.

The hand in your mane snakes around to gently grip under your jaw, guiding you through a few rapid bobs. Then he pushes you away and himself out just far enough that only the very end of your tongue could reach.

He twitches, and a thick, white, rope of liquid jumps the gap to your open mouth, coating your tongue. The hand pulls you back down and your lips wrap around the welcome invader.

This close, you can see all the muscles in his abdomen flexing, pumping even more seed into your maw. Your eyes close as you savor the taste rapidly filling your mouth.

Look at you. A royal guard. Equestria’s elite. Suckling a shaft like a newborn does a teat. What would your father say?

You can’t bring yourself to care, honestly.

He looks down at you as the last pulses between your jaws cease, leaving your cheeks full and swollen.

You know what he wants.

Tilting your head back, baring your neck and letting his length go in one movement, you swallow all of your delectable prize in one go. His satisfied eyes follow the large lump in your throat all the way down to your belly.

Everything comes back into focus as you hear the office doors close again with a sharp “Bang!”

Blueblood must have left.

All is silent for a moment.

”Aegis?”

“Ye-!” You swallow again, getting a little you missed. “Yes my lord?”

He looks down at you with a smile. “Follow me to my chambers. I know of a certain mare who deserves a… special reward for going above and beyond the call of duty.”

The fire in your loins flares up once more.

You’ve heard of stallion servants and guards sometimes being taken as concubines by powerful VIPs. Idly, you wonder if mare concubines are a real thing.

Burden(?) of Motherhood (Explicit)

Burden(?) of Motherhood. (Explicit)

You are Twilight Sparkle, Princess, mother-to-be, and lazy mare still in her bed at noon. Right now, you feel none of the stress the first two titles should bring.

You shift slightly on your side, not phasing the large form pressed against your back. A pleased sigh escapes your mouth as a pair of lips give the base of your ear a light kiss. Without even thinking, you lean your head back into the kiss, earning a nuzzle and whispered, baritone words with little meaning other than comfort. For a lucid moment, you wonder how you acquired such a mate, then you lose the thought to the muted pleasure the rest of your body feels.

The pair of arms surrounding your body roam freely. A hand attached to an arm you lay against goes over your chest tuft, combining it with warm fingers before trailing down to your life swollen belly. With feather-light, almost hesitant touches it rubs your stomach is slow circles.

..!

A tiny hoof presses back against the hand for a short moment, earning a gasp from your bedmate.

The hand rubs again.

..!

You’re hugged just a little closer to the form behind you.

Past your large stomach and into your nethers, another hand works slowly. The sore, engorged teats that escape your sight have done a one-eighty. Rather than be painful and annoying, they now send pleasant pangs all through your being at the slightest touch. The more naughty hand cups the tender flesh of one and softly squeezes and rubs.

Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth as the teat’s sister receives the same treatment. A hot, dribbling sensation makes itself known to you after a rather daring squeeze. The hand rises back into sight for a moment, droplets of pure white on them.

Your bedmate stops the kiss at the base of your horn for a moment, probably observing his dirtied appenage.

The hand pulls away to behind you for a just a second, then returns clean. You almost miss the sound of smacking lips before the kiss on your horn returns.

The already heated blush that burns on your face becomes a little redder.

Hold on...

Prod…

Prod…

No… Could he? No stallion is so daring.

Something fleshy and so HOT pokes at your behind, missing a few times before it touches it’s prize.

Wink!

You shiver, already feeling tension build in your loins.

Slow, so AGONIZINGLY slow does he push in. Your excitement making for an almost total lack of traction. With every inch that passed, you felt like a star could have been born and died.

You pant with your mouth wide open, not even caring about the drool the escaped and stained the bedspread. You’ll clean that up later…

More and more, do you get the delicious full feeling. The feeling of your body joining with the one you love above all else.

Your tail flips, your ears twitch, and your legs curl. Why, why must he tease you with such lag!

You toss your head back, breaking the kiss on your horn and desperately trying to capture his mouth with your own.

His eyes, his gorgeous eyes sparkle with humor. For a moment, it looks as the catty human will remain the way he is, but he leans down and meets your kiss halfway. His small tongue is no match for yours, letting you push your way into his mouth and explore the cavern of sharp teeth like the countless times you had done before.

The jagged teeth remind you. This human is a predator. Not a pony. Not even a stallion. His thick arms could break you. His stamina could run you down. His teeth, the ones he willingly gives you dominion over now, could shred and consume you.

But he would never do that. You know it. You’re the lamb who tamed the lion, after all.

!

Your thoughts are cut off once more.

After an eon, smooth, furless hips meet your own as your pitiful moan echos ever so slightly in your lovers mouth. Soooooo gooooood…

He breaks the kiss with a quiet grunt and pulls out just as slowly. No. He pulls out even slower as you involuntarily clench down, trying to keep the contact for as long as possible. The full sensation is lost, replaced with a desperate NEED to have it back. Tears of frustration almost come to your clenched shut eyes.

When just the head remains, he starts the long journey back inside as his hands resume their work. One rubbing circles onto your delicate middle, and other other rubbing and teasing your teats.

Again, he hilts himself with a shaky exhale, and pulls away again.

The slow burn in your loins grows at a lethargic pace, a pace you don’t find acceptable.

Squelch!

He gasps when you purposely clench as hard as you can in a bid for more, almost repulsing him out. The arm aimed at your teats stops and wraps around your leg, pulling it up and giving him more leverage.

In again, despite all the resistance your entrance provides. Sharp teeth nip at your neck as the lazy tempo is set.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Release builds. It’s so slow, but you can feel it. Again, you pant, uncaring of how unprincess like it is. You push back as best as pregnant mare on her side can, wanting the wondrous friction that your insides demanded. Despite that, he never let the speed go beyond a snails place. Never let the volume of the loving go beyond whispering.

Like a candle, the slow burn in your marehood grows brighter and brighter little by little.

Clench!

Your lungs are filled air thanks to a sharp inhale.

Just a little more..!

Almost..!

The sound of flesh meeting flesh grows sharp and crisp. Colors peek into your vision. Your tongue is coated is sweetness.

CLENCH!

No sound escapes as your world explodes into bliss, into absolute euphoria. A dull roar sounds in your ears as the colors in front of your eyes bleed together into a breathtaking mosaic. For a short moment, you forget where you are and wonder if you were struck by lightning.

But lightning would never feel like ecstasy, would it?

Untensing, you go limp and pant, trying to recover, but it all starts to build up again.

He’s not done. Not by a longshot. Each thrust is punctuated by a quiet slap now, thanks to your drenching him.

You build again, in a haze this time, and again you know rapture.

How much time has passed, you’re unsure. But the uneven pants on your ear tell you one thing. He’s close.

Mustering up as much energy as you can, you toss your head back and try to capture him a lip lock again. Again, he leans down, looking you in the eyes as your mouths touch.

Nothing is said. Nothing needs to be said.

He tenses, pushing is as far as he can without harming the foal, and shivers.

Heat blossoms in the chamber outside your womb and your world explodes into color again.

Not a sound is made.

He releases your mouth from his, letting you fall to the bed limply. A moment later, thick arms wrap around you in a tender hug.

”I love you, Twilight.”

You smile. The book you had on “Exotic Stallions” was totally wrong.

And you are happy with that.

Birb Family (Fluff)

You rub your face tiredly and recline into your couch, coming to terms with what you were told.

Rainbow and Fluttershy are pregnant.

And both foals are yours.

Both mares stand in front of you. Rainbow just looks away, one foreleg rubbing the other uncomfortably. Fluttershy though...

She stares at the ground, her face picture perfect shame. It breaks your heart. That’ll teach you to get trashed at parties in ponyland.

“Well, shit.” It’s all you can say, really. How else do you sum up knocking up national heroes?

Both pegasi flinch as the expletive, but Rainbow recovers quicker and speaks. ”We’re sorry, Anon. We shouldn’t have ra-... Taken advantage of you like that. You were drunk and we were... We were...” Rainbow struggles to finish her sentence.

”Irresponsible,” Fluttershy provides without looking up. “We raped you. And now there are consequences.”

Your stomach ties itself into a horrid knot hearing her say that. The word “rape” was never meant to come from the mouth of a pony as pure as Flutters.

”If you tell the town guards, or don’t want anything to with the foals, or both. That’s f-f-fine...” The poor yellow pegasus is nearly in tears, and the gentle nuzzling from her friend isn’t helping.

Christ almighty this is getting too heavy.

“Okay, hold on. Who said I was going to do either of those?” You say, holding your hands out. “Let’s talk about this. I’m not going to fuck up your lives because we banged while trashed. That's dumb.”

Both ponies look up at you, disbelief in their large eyes.

“And as for the... foals. We have to try and make that work. A romantic relationship might not fly, but I’m not going to deprive any child of mine both of their parents.”

Fluttershy blinks the tears in her eyes away, her expression mystified. “Wha... What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you cross your arms, “the local guard is not getting involved. To hell with them. And I do want to raise these kids, even if this is much sooner than I saw myself with them. As for the rest, we can make it up as we go, yeah?”

Both ponies look at you with awed faces, as if what they’re hearing is unreal.

”You mean it?” Rainbow asks quietly, a far cry from her normal tone. “You’re not going to tell the guards, and you want the foals? Even after we...R-ra...” Again the young Wonderbolt can’t finish her sentence, but the rising hope in her eyes is plain as day.

“Yes, you silly little pony. And you didn’t rape me. I was drunk too, and I made the decision to drink until I was probably vomiting and trying to take my clothes off.”

The pair of mares crack small grins.

“I wanna try and make this work. I’m not going to ditch you or the kids. You have to be a real fuck knuckle to run on your baby’s mom. Who knows? Maybe it was all meant to happen.”

”B-but a normal stallion wo-”

“Fluttershy, do I look normal?”

”...”

You lean back and lay across the couch, already exhausted and it’s not even... Noon. Not even noon according to the clock.

“We can hash out details later. Now, I wanna rest. You both are welcome to join.”

The pair of ponies look between each other, the back to you, repeating a few times. Finally, both have what seems to be an epiphany, their faces lighting up into unrivaled happiness. The mares crawl up onto the couch with you, each one settling into the spaces between your body and arms and filling your body with their pegasi warmth.

Mmm. You could get used to that...

“And that, kiddo, is how I fell for your moms. Feel like you can sleep better after a story?” You ask quietly, as to not wake the snoozing mound of bodies around you.

Easy Breeze, yours and Fluttershy’s oldest at 13, blinks drearily in the darkened room, obviously more tired than when you began the (heavily edited) tale.

”Dad, that sounds like bullshit,” he whispers back.

You frown.

“Who taught you that word?”

”Mama Rainbow,” he rats easily. “She said she learned it from you.”

Brat.

“Don’t let your birth mother hear you say that word. She’ll skin you. And it’s not bullshit. I swear.”

Easy mirrors your frown. “But I’m the oldest...”

“Yeah.”

”And mom got pregnant at a party...”

“Mmm hmm.”

”That means..!”

Easy’s face goes white, making you snicker as he realizes he was the product of a drunken night.

“Loosen up, son. There’s a dozen of you in this nest and only two were planned. Regardless...” You let your voice get a bit more gentle. “You and your siblings are all loved the same, whether we planned for you or if you were a miraculous surprise. And nothing will change that, ever.”

Easy calms and looks at you with the sort of adoration only a child could muster up for a parent.

You smile and lift your free arm, the other being cuddled by a sleeping Rainbow and the elder of yours and Rainbow’s set of twins, Cumulo.

Easy looks around, as if seeing if anyone else is awake, then shuffles closer on his hooves, careful not to disturb any of the smaller foals. He crawls up and presses himself against your side, letting you engulf the young colt in a one armed hug.

Your son lets out a breath and smiles, eyes fluttering shut. ”G’night, dad...” he mutters into your shirt.

You smile and close your own eyes, holding your firstborn just a little tighter and you fall asleep. Or you would have if Cumulo didn’t snort in her sleep and jab a hindhoof into your side.

You quietly sigh. The things a dad sacrifices...

Birb Family 2 (Fluff)

Author's Note

Note: Not consistent with the last Birb Family short.

Birb Family 2 (Fluff)

”Anon? What’s it like being a father?”

Surprised, you blink away the sunny day lethargy and sit up on the park bench. “Why the sudden interest, ‘Lane?” You turn your head to the dark coated stallion next to you with a raised eyebrow, making him squirm a bit in his seat.

”Well, I’m curious is all,” Thunderlane says with a shrug. “What stallion isn’t? And you’ve got three little ones of your own, so who better to ask?”

You glance out to the playground, spying Junior, yours and Rainbow’s oldest and only, leading round his toddler half-sister Ivy, your and Flutter’s first. Even at only 5 years old, Junior is still hell on four hooves like his mother and just barely kept in check by his little sister.

Your and Flutter’s second and youngest, Autumn, lays dead to the world in your lap. It’s so deep a sleep that she could have been mistaken as Rainbow’s daughter if not for her pastel yellow coat.

Smiling, you turn back to Thunderlane. “Yeah, but asking me? I kinda had the whole different-species and hybrid-baby learning curve applied, so everything I could say is probably atypical.”

Thunderlane puffs his cheeks out and lightly stomps a hoof in annoyance. “Don’t be like that. You know what I mean.”

“It’s a lot of shitty diapers, screaming, sleepless nights, and no time to yourself,” you say with a smirk, silently enjoying your friend’s wilting look. “But if you tried to trade me all the treasure in the world for even one of my little terrors, I’d tell you to get bent. Does that sum it up?”

He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, “No. And watch your language, there are foals around.”

You roll your eyes and nudge him on his wither. “The one foal around could sleep through the end of the world, dingus. Look, that dad thing? It’s one of those things I can’t explain.”

”I guess I can understand that…”

The park bench falls into silence again, with Thunderlane watching the children play and you slowly joining your daughter in sleepyland.

”Anon?”

You click your tongue and open your eyes again.

Thunderlane twiddles his hooves and stares at the ground. “Can you keep a secret?” He continues before you can agree. “Cloudchaser is pregnant.”

Somehow, you manage to choke on nothing and cough in your sheer surprise. Autumn slowly rouses from the commotion, but a gentle hand through her mane lulls her back to slumber.

“J-Jesus man, that’s a bit of a bomb to drop, don’t you think?” you say after hastily finding your composure. “I always thought that-”

”That Flitter would be first?” he says, lifting his head and smiling just a little. “Me too. Apparently, we accidentally caught Cloudy right at the very start of her last season.”

“Well hot damn, congrats! This is huge! Am I the only one you’ve told?” you exclaim with an ear-to-ear grin.

He looks back at the ground, his smile fading into a grimace, making your face fall as well. Then to your alarm, he starts shaking. ”I’m scared, Anon,” he says with a gulp. “I-I… What if I’m not a good dad? After my family’s alpha mare died, my dad wasn’t the same. He just wasn’t… all there. He did his best, but with seven of us and the herd moms all working, he just couldn’t keep up after he lost that spark. I have no idea what a functioning father looks like.”

Your eyes bug out and you look around to make sure no one was listening to this far too real conversation.

“Thunderlane, let me stop you there,” you say, putting a hand on the shivering stallion’s back. “Look, if you’re concerned, then you're already taking the right steps. How hard do you think I was losing it after Rainbow told me I knocked her up?”

He looks up at you searchingly, as if you just asked him a trick question. “You didn’t…”

“Wrong,” you say firmly. “After the initial shock and happiness wore off, I was one step away from panicking but I sucked it up. You don't just make a new life lightly, and it does change your own life forever after. Answer me this, do you intend to do all you can for this foal and any others?”

The pegasus scowls in affront. ”Of course!”

“Even at the expense of yourself?”

“Even then!”

“Do you trust your mares to help you?”

”Now and forever!”

You shrug. “Welp. Congrats, you’re dad material. I dunno what else to say.”

Thunderlane blinks, then his jaw drops afterward. “You can’t be serious! There must be more to it than that!”

“Nope. That’s it,” you lean in closer and smile. “You’re over thinking it,” you say a bit more softly, “being a parent is something you’ve gotta learn on your own, but it’ll come naturally to a caring stallion like you, ‘Lane. Doubt yourself and you’ll fail for sure. Besides, it’s not like you’re alone. You’ve got Flitter and Cloudchaser. And if you really need it, come to me and my girls. We’ve got your back. Friends forever and all that fruity shit.”

Thunderlane smiles up at you with watery eyes and a sniffle. “Thank you, Anon. I was going to ask this later, but… Will you be the godfather of my foals?”

Again your best friend throws you for a loop. “Uhh, you sure, ‘Lane?” You ask, looking away and scratching the back of your head. “I can think of a few guys more qualified…”

The stallion lets out a short bark of laughter. “Weren't you the one just talking about not doubting yourself as a parent?”

You grumble and turn away, trying to hide the embarrassed pink on your cheeks. “Fine, smartass. I accept.”

He grins and wraps his forelegs around your neck in a tight hug. “Thanks, Anon. You’re the best friend a stallion could ask for.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m the best. Let’s not make this too weird,” you say, rolling your eyes and returning the hug.

Thunderlane pulls away right as little Autumn stirs from the sudden jostling. She whines past the pacifier in her mouth and tries to bury herself in your lap before her little stomach growls, forcing her back to wakefulness. The tiny filly sits unsteadily and paws at your shirt with her hooves, her mother’s patented wide and teary eyes telling you just how close she is to crying.

“Now look what you did. She would have been conked out for another half an hour if you didn’t wake her,” you gripe to a sheepish Thunderlane. Letting out a sigh, you smile down to your infant daughter and reach into the diaper bag beside you. “Hungry, babygirl? We’ll get that fixed. And by we, I mean uncle ‘Lane.”

”What?”

You hand a milk bottle to a dumbfounded Thunderlane and watch as Autumn scrambles out of your lap to Thunderlane’s side, where she looks up at him with her big, pleading eyes.

”H-Hey! You can't just hoof off your job to me!” Your friend huffs despite taking Autumn’s pacifier and unscrewing the cap on the baby bottle.

“Practice makes perfect, friendo. And don’t let her chew through it because her canines are coming in.”

”C-canines?! Foals get canine teeth?!”

You smirk, neglecting to mention that half-human heritage does that.

Oh Thunderlane, you sweet summer child.

Mystery "Box" (Questionable)

Mystery "Box"

Implied Eris x Anonymous

”Fluttershy, I’m in LOVE!”

The yellow pegasus yelps as Discord bursts through her door, sending her animals scattering for cover.

”I’ve never felt this way before and it’s so exciting!” Discord gushes, doing loops through the air until he looked like a coiled spring, complete with a comical stretching sound.

Fluttershy sighs and blows a bit of her mane out of her face. “Discord, did you have to-!” Then what the chaos spirit said clicks in her head, making the mare blink. Not a moment later, a blinding smile finds its way to her face. ”Discord, I’m so happy for you! I never thought you’d think that way over another pony!” Fluttershy exclaims happily, her wings beating lightly in excitement. “Who is it?”

”Ah, but he’s not a mare. He’s something a million times better!” Discord almost yells, his smile getting larger. “I can smell it on him. All the mischief and disorder just bubbling beneath his skin, yet, so controlled and ready to be used by a male who ISN’T a sissy. And never have I felt an actual physical attraction before him...” The draconequus brings his hands to his reddening face as steam pours from his ears. “Ohh my the lewd things I’d do to that unique bod...”

Fluttershy found her face getting red too. “A-a stallion? Y-you’re attracted to a s-stallion? But that’s forbidden love!”

Discord clicked his tongue and shook a talon dismissively. “A prissy stallion? I think not. My tastes are far more patrician. No, I want a man. A HUman to be precise. And nothing is off limits to me.”

That stopped the young mare’s steamy thoughts for a moment. ”A human? But the only one is...”

”Anonymous!” The spirit finishes with a red-faced grin. “Just his name makes my heart flutter!” And true enough, a heart shape was beating an outline on his chest. ”Ooohhhhh~” With the back of his hand over his eyes, Discord swoons and ‘faints’ into a fancy loveseat that appears in a puff of smoke.

”But...” Fluttershy bites her lip. “I don’t want to sound offensive, but how are you going to attract him? He seems like he’s only interested in females...”

Discord stands back up, the conjured loveseat vanishing as he puts his fingers to his chin in thought. ”Hmm...” The draconequus hums to himself as he goes over ideas. “Try as I am? No, that’ll fail. Cheesy fated romance thing? Nope. He’s as chaotic as I and would rebel... No, no mind control. I want him to come to me freely." He giggles. “Heh. Cumming freely.” Then his eyes go wide. “That’s it! And it’ll shake things up for me, too. Ol’ Discord, you’re a genius! To avoid not-so-funny confusion, just call me Eris after this, will you Flutters?”

Fluttershy is interrupted from any more lewd thoughts as Discord conjures a full sized mirror in front of himself with a snap of his fingers.

”Hmm, let's see...”

The chaotic spirit snaps his fingers again, turning his whole body an earthy red clay color. He then grabs his face and starts molding it, showing that he is indeed made out of clay.

His long face, after a few abstract mess-ups, replaced with a slim, angular muzzle complete with a saucy, one fanged grin. He pulls his goatee off, stretching it like taffy before mixing with his short mane, creating a full head of long and voluminous hair. Looking down, he ponders his lower body for just a moment before smiling. His hands then pull at his hips, giving them a gentle flare. He does the same to his shoulders, pulling them out just enough to complement the widened hips and making his body an hourglass figure.

By now, Fluttershy has figured out where this was going and could only mutely gape.

The clay Discord-Eris taps his-her? Chin.

Fluttershy decided that “her” fit better for her own sanity.

Putting a thumb in her mouth, Eris blows on it, puffing her now delicate looking cheeks out. With the same sound as a helium tank filling a balloon, a pair of round, perky teats sprout from Eris’ chest. At the same time, her rump fills out just enough to form a gentle curve with the rest of her body. As an afterthought, the tall spirit puffs up the tuft on her chest and pulls it just barely low enough to cover her nipples.

Now the odd spirit has gone from “Hourglass” to “Drop dead gorgeous.”

With a smile, she turns back from clay to her normal colors.

”Oh yes, now he’ll-” The now feminine Discord stops at hearing her own voice. “Oops.”

Her eagle hand goes into her mouth and down her own throat, where the sound of a switch flipping is heard. Pulling the hand out, the curvy chaos personification clears her throat. “One more try...” she says, then grins when her voice comes out rich and husky.

”Now for the most important change.”

With a snap of her fingers... Nothing happens.

The yellow and only slightly mentally scarred witness jumps back when Eris suddenly yelps and crosses her legs.

”Oof,” she almost gags. “T-that was none too pleasant. Note to self: organs all shift upwards with a snatch.”

”...”

Poor Fluttershy can only blink and wonder what she just saw.

”Well well well, who is this fine lady?” Eris grins to herself as she slowly turned in front of the mirror, striking erotic poses. “Get ready, my sweet Anon. Imma beat that dickie up!”

And with that, Fluttershy’s strained mind finally gave her mercy and let her faint.

Author's Note

Man I dont even fucking know

Secure. Contain. Pone. #2666

Author's Note

No.

Secure. Contain. Pone. #2666

Item-#: SCP-2666 “Alien Affection”

Object Class: E̶u̶c̶l̶i̶d̶ Safe (Pending neutralization via naturalization see notes)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2666 is to be housed in a standard living cell with an attached bathroom furnished to it’s request within reason. Clothing may also be requested. Any questionable accommodation requests made by SCP-2666 are to go to site-07 management for review. SCP-2666 is to be fed a standard omnivore meal three (3) times daily and may request snacks between meals so long as snack intake is no greater than 1000 calories daily. (Staff is reminded that sneaking SCP-2666 additional food items will result in reprimand.) SCP-2666 is allowed to roam site-07 freely and access Level 2 and lowers areas with a curfew of 2200 hours. Site staff may interact with SCP-2666 casually, but contact with other SCPs is forbidden without Level 4 approval. These privileges may be revoked if SCP-2666 misbehaves. Staff working on projects and functions that require constant focus are advised to avoid contact with SCP-2666 so that they do not become subject to it’s anomalous and distracting abilities.

Description: SCP-2666 is a tall, bipedal ape-like creature of extra-dimensional origin and is a male of it’s species. The subject’s birth name does not translate correctly to Equestrian, with “Anonymous” being the closest approximation. The front limbs terminate in dexterous hands with five (5) digits on each; four (4) fingers and one (1) opposable thumb. This gives the subject a powerful grip and the ability to manipulate objects with precision on par with an expert unicorn. It’s bodily make-up is carbon-based similar to Equestrian life, but with a lack of thaumaturgy incorporated in it’s system (See Addendum for details). It stands at approximately 180 cm tall, about twice the height of the average mare. The subject’s weight has varied with it’s calorie intake similar to Equestrian creatures. SCP-2666 speaks rough but understandable Equestrian and a currently untranslated native language. SCP-2666 was able to teach itself Equestrian when provided with materials to do so, but it’s overall intelligence is currently unknown due to purposeful dodging and undermining of tests. The ability to recognize the tests, even while they were disguised, suggests intelligence higher than the average pony, however.

SCP-2666 was collected by the Foundation on ██/██/████ after a report of a spatial anomaly in ████████ that emitted no magic radiation. SCP-2666 was found unconscious at the site by undercover agents ████ ████████████ and ██████, but the anomaly was gone, assumed to be closed. The area is being monitored for possible re-opening of the anomaly. The SCP was brought into Foundation care without witnesses and a cover story was fabricated to explain the anomaly.

Although not indestructible, SCP-2666 has displayed a surprising resistance to damage and mental influence as evidenced by Incident-2666-1 (See for details), but it heals at a rate equivalent to a pony if left unaided. It’s lack of bodily thaumaturgy is theorized to assist in this. It’s bodily strength and movement speed is notably higher than expected of a creature of it’s proportions, but not to a supernatural degree. SCP-2666’s docile and affectionate temperament has kept containment requirements to a minimum, but it’s anomalous abilities leave room for abuse. SCP-2666 has been warned that abusing it’s powers will result in punishment and harsher containment.

SCP-2666 possesses anomalous powers that are still undergoing research and testing. The primary power is a general soothing effect on ponies transmitted via physical contact, intaking SCP-2666’s scent, and listening to SCP-2666’s voice. The more sources applied, the more affected subjects become. The effects linger for the next 24 hours after the first exposure. Test subjects report feelings of comfort and contentment at SCP-2666 touch and presence, resulting in a relaxed bodily state and clearer if lethargic thought processing. SCP-2666 can accelerate the effect with purposeful petting, quiet and comforting speech, and not washing off it’s natural scent. Ponies with minor illnesses and injuries we noted to recover at an increased rate after contact. Testing is ongoing for a passive healing effect. SCP-2666 likewise expresses satisfaction in cuddling with any pony who will allow the contact and actively seeks out contact. It should be noted that ponies in an induced relaxed state are more prone to sexual arousal. The SCP is aware of this and has initiated sexual contact with █ female staff resulting in [REDACTED]. Management reprimand of staff and SCP withheld due to high morale and work efficiency in site-07 after SCP-2666 acquisition. Staff is reminded that visits of work-inappropriate nature to SCP-2666 are to be done off of work hours. Any staff reporting illness after sexual contact with SCP-2666 are to report to the infirmary immediately, and if female staff are determined to be [REDACTED] then they are to be put on administrative leave and monitored closely.

Addendum: After extensive scans, it was determined that SCP-2666’s nervous system uses pulses of electricity rather than streams of mana to carry commands to the body. How this is possible is still being researched, but the SCP insists that such a system is normal in it’s home. When asked how it is unable to provide an answer.

Incident-2666-1: On ██/██/████ SCP-1298 breached containment due to a door lock fault and began a rampage through site-07, injuring █ personnel. SCP-1298 encountered SCP-2666 in the hallway just outside it’s chamber. SCP-2666 lashed out in fright with a leg to SCP-1298’s primary head, dazing it. When SCP-1298 returned the attack with one of it’s sickle claws, targeting Researcher ██████, SCP-2666 pushed her out of the way and took the attack with only a shallow gash where a pony would have been disemboweled. SCP-2666 then proceeded to curse and beat SCP-1298 into submission with it’s fists despite SCP-1298’s struggles and cognitohazardous cries, which erode lower brain function and swiftly cause paralysis followed by death via multiple organ failure. Staff equipped with sound-deadening ear muffs moved in and secured SCP-1298 while SCP-2666 was taken away and interviewed. SCP-2666 was shaken but suffered no long-term ill effects from the encounter while SCP-1298 has been unresponsive ever since. Researcher ██████ was treated for exposure to SCP-1298 and is expected to make a full recovery.

Note-1: Object class downgraded from Euclid to Safe following continued good behavior and confirmation that SCP-2666’s powers do not allow it control over a pony. Downgrade to neutralized pending O5 approval to naturalize SCP-2666 as an Equestrian citizen and reclassify to a POI.

Better Left Unasked

Author's Note

Warning preachy as shit

Better Left Unasked

A mare of noble birth finds what has to be the ultimate in exotic trophy husbands, but her desire for 2D arm candy is thrown into question when he proves to be far less vapid, and much more real and thought-provoking than expected.

You are Fleur de Lis, Canterlot’s top model for 5 years running. Right now, you’re cuddled with your coltfriend (boyfriend?) Anonymous and watching a movie.

Video cassette players are expensive, but they’re the latest and greatest in home entertainment. Your Anon seemed terribly amused by just their existence, but just waved away your question when asked, piling yet another, though minor, mystery on him.

The artistic animated rendition of one of your favorite stories distracts you from the ever more persistent thoughts about the warm body holding you.

Anon…

Where you expected a pretty lowborn to shamelessly take the silent agreement to remain pretty and act tolerable for a life of luxury, he defied you. Anon kept his job after moving into your home, somehow feels the need to do more than a stallion should, and is slow and wary of marriage, the total opposite of a potential husband.

But he says he loves you with such emotion that your heart flutters.

He’s either genuine, or a world-class actor, and both worry you.

From his spot behind you on the couch, your human lets out a deep hum that you’ve learned signals contentment. ”It’s times like this I enjoy most.”

You flick an ear and look back just enough to see his smiling face. “Why eez zat, ma cherie? Are you a connoisseur of films?”

He chuckles deep in his chest, a rich sound. “The movie is fine, I’m more talking about just being with you.”

Being here with you? But he’s always with you.

“I do not understand?”

His smile lowers. “It’s, ah, not important,” he says, tightening his hold on you just the slightest. “A boring, almost pity-party thing,” he gently buries his face in your mane. “I love you, and you I, and that’s the important part,” he murmurs.

Again, the words “I love you” make you feel lighter than air and send a fluttering feeling up your stomach all the way to your throat, almost robbing you of your voice. “You always say it’z not important when I ask you to explain things, ma cherie,” you say weakly.

He remains silent and disappointment creeps up on you. He’s not going to explain yet again.

”It was an odd time, back on earth,” Anon begins abruptly, making you forget the film to listen.

His voice, though, has a tone you cannot place.

“My generation hit adulthood too late to explore the now mapped world, but too early to explore other worlds since the technology necessary is still in its infancy. There was no conflicts or great goals to work towards. An era of just waiting,” he pauses. “The whole planet was getting stir-crazy with nothing to do sans monotonous life, and so people began inventing problems.”

You’re suddenly not liking where this was going.

”Arbitrary lines began to be drawn in the sand every which way, dividing people over the most asinine things. It became so bad that a single metaphorical step could step on two or three sets of toes and ignite enough conflict to ruin your life, if not end it.”

The fluttering feeling is suddenly replaced with a creeping chill in the center of your stomach, but you dare not interrupt.

Again, Anon pauses, then he takes a breath that ruffles your mane some. “Jesus this is going to sound preachy. One such line was between man and woman, male and female.”

What..?

”Roles and dynamics broke down and working family units became scarce. Power was shifted under a guise of equality when really it was the opposite. Before Equestria, I had resigned myself to, well…” he hesitates and pulls you closer. “Be alone. For good.”

Your breath stops short and physical pain shoots through your chest as if a blunt spike was wedged between your ribs. You have to pat your chest to make sure there isn’t actually anything there.

Anon? Alone?

”There are other men in real relationships, men who are married, who can't even hold their wives like we do with each other because of those power shifts. If they try, then they could face serious social AND legal trouble if something as simple as a touch was considered unsolicited. Some are HAPPY that it’s that way and think that a relationship like that is fulfilling because of hate they have instilled in themselves. They’re small in number, but it does happen. I’m not one of them, but neither did I want to risk myself, so I just removed myself from the equation and waited.”

Waited for what you struggle to say, but the words don’t come.

”He takes a deep breath. “Blech, enough of that,” he says, the tone you can't place gone and a smile back on his face. “Sorry I blabbered so long. So that’s why I love just being with you sometimes,” he punctuates his explanation with a hand run through your cold-sweat dampened chest tuft and a kiss on your neck. “Now, movie time!”

That night, you sleep fitfully.

Rare Purity (Questionable)

”A-are you sure Rares?”

Oh, it’s moments like this you live for.

Your eyes glide over the perfect, trembling specimen before you. Gone was his shirt, shoes, and socks, leaving him with only his cut-off pants and a red glow on his face. The fading sunlight in your bedroom makes the scene seem like masterful art.

It’s taken some time to come this far. To overcome all the differences in both body and culture so you could grow closer to this tall, exotic, almost regal, yet so innocent stallion. But it’s all been worth it because you were smitten at first sight. You’ve given him all you could. Your time, your thoughts, countless gifts, a shoulder to lean on.

And he returned each favor with unfaltering love and loyalty. Even going as far to conform to Equestria’s norms for your benefit, even if you’ve insisted he didn’t need to.

Now you’ve nothing left to give him. Except for your own body, that is.

But the prospect seemed to both excite him and cause dread. Then it hit you like a train. Your alien tomfilly is a bit purer than you had thought. It’s like some bad romance novel. N-not that you read those, just making a comparison is all…

“Whatever do you mean, love?”

He wrings his hands together, something you’ve learned to watch for. “Well…” A shaky breath exits his kissable lips. “I… I dunno how to say it… I-I’ve never…”

He trails off, but you know what he means.

The hands disengage, letting one rub the arm of the other in discomfort. ”...Not even with another human…I don’t want to disappoint you is all...” He says, voice low and filled with doubt.

You can’t help but blink in surprise. You’re sure that you are the first pony who even made it this far with him, but NEVER? That means... You’ll be his first. Ever.

A smile devoid of any dirty context finds it’s way to your face. You. Rarity. You are going to take this human’s purity. He’s offered himself to you at his most vulnerable. Trusts you to not hurt him. Even thinking of you before himself. Not wanting to “disappoint” you, as if he could.

Your heart swells with emotion that you can’t identify.

You walk towards him, delicate smile still in place, and nuzzle his exposed torso with a feather-light touch. The bundle of muscle you rest against tenses to rock then relaxes.

“Love, you could never disappoint me. Not now, not ever,” you start, voice little higher than a whisper. “The short few months I’ve known you have been the best I’ve ever had. Never have I had somepo - someone so thoughtful, loving, and unique as you. Tonight, this is for you.” You crane your neck back, looking into his wide, hopeful eyes. “It was never about me, but you decided it was. That’s what sets you apart from the common colts. And I love you for it.”

Your heart is beating so loud that it almost drowns out your words, and you can feel his beating almost out of his chest. Bracing your forelegs against his belt, you raise up almost to his height and press your forehead to his.

By Celestia, his eyes have never been so gorgeous.

“Tonight, it’s-No, it's not about either you or I, it’s about us. Together. You can never disappoint me.”

Your lips touch his, sending electricity down your spine. It was a simple, chaste kiss. Not a raunchy, high school makeout that he liked or a dance of tongues. Just a gesture of affection. You pull back, remaining connecting to him with a single, glinting strand of saliva.

His eyes are wide, and face red as a cherry.

Your eyes closed to a half lid, you let the smile on your face become a bit more naughty. “Plus, dear, if you’re unsure about anything tonight, we can have plenty of fun learning~.”

He blinks, then returns your smile with an eager one of his own.

Dropping down to all fours, you take one of his hands in your magic and gently pull towards the bed.

The next morning, groggy, satisfied, and sore below the waist, you go out to get the paper and find a noise complaint tacked to your door

Sullied Paragon (Explicit)

You are Celestia, Princess of Equestria, Mare of the Sun, and a paragon of the pony race.

And you are pinned to your bed, being abused from behind by a predator.

You yelp as he thrusts and hits just right. C'mon, you can stave off your next orgasm a bit longer. The carnal sounds of flesh on flesh and the squeaking bed almost hypnotically rhythmic, giving you something to focus on other than the fire in your body,

You're sore.

Tired.

Dirty.

But by the goddess, you will NOT give in until he's sated.

One of his arms shifts, moving from your ruffled wing to roughly grab the scruff of your neck.

S-stave it off..!

He wasn't like a meek stallion. No, not at all. His attitude, stance, voice, all screamed: "Challenge me at your own peril." It was that that attracted you to him. It became easy to defer to him. He took charge of any situation you let him. It felt... Good. Natural, even.

Did you ever think it would end up here? No, but you're happy it did.

His arms snake around your front, one around your chest for leverage, and another up towards your face, where his hand firmly grips your jaw.

A gasp escapes you. You know what would happen to you if he bothered to squeeze.

The sharp sensation of teeth against your neck sends a thrill of terror through your body. Your legs buck but go nowhere. You're still pinned thoroughly.

A whimper escapes your lips as the fear brings you back to lucidity for a scant few seconds. Then, it's back to a blissful, writhing haze.

He pants against your neck, movements becoming jerky and quick. You know what's next.

He hilts, your hips meeting his with a final, violent clash.

Your perfect, millennia-old alicorn body was about to find a new purpose.

It would house the offspring of a carnivore.

It would nourish that offspring.

It would bring that offspring into the world.

You, prey, are going to mother a predator

Molten heat pours into your womb and your ecstasy shakes the windows.

Contact (Questionable)

Author's Note

I'm normally not a fan of anthro, but this one kinda just popped up so here you go.

Contact (Questionable)

“It’s kinda wild, don’t you think?”

”What's kinda wild?”

The hand you’ve been running across Rainbow’s toned, furry midriff slows as you gather your thoughts for a reply. “You know? Just how similar our kinds are. I figured aliens would be more... alien?” You say, too distracted by the beautiful waterfall of color that is her mane to come up with something more eloquent.

The pegasus, now apparently bored of staring at the bedroom wall, abandons her little spoon position and twists in your hold. Her wings bat your chest as she turns, and a single downy feather is knocked loose. The hand that was rubbing her middle wraps around her thin waist and pulls her close, making her perky breasts press into your chest.

”What do ya mean by that?” She asks, raising a brow and flicking an ear. “We’re pretty different I think,” she says, lacing her thin fingers with your free hand. Your other hand, the one around her waist, travels down and snakes into her shorts to rest on a cutie mark.

Silently, you savor her contact as you once again fight distraction to come up with a reply. This time her sparkling magenta eyes muddle your thoughts.

Rainbow isn’t your first girlfriend (though she’s your first marefriend), but never have you had a lover willing to tolerate so much excess contact.

Scratch that. There’s nothing excess here. Here in Equestria, spending time just napping, cuddling, and talking with your marefriend is the cultural norm.

Equestria is a strange place for certain. Part of you fostered from your early teens still hisses at the thought of being a ‘furry’, as the odd bipedal equines of Equestria fit the bill perfectly, but mares like Rainbow made that part quiet down.

When a blue pony-girl barely 4’10 tall with big downy wings and a fluffy tuft poking from her halter top bombastically declared she’d “Keep you safe around here!”, you were too captivated by how adorable she was to care.

Rainbow is small, even by the reckoning of the smaller-than-human ponies. With your thumbs touching, you can almost wrap your hands middle-finger to middle-finger around the narrowest part of her waist with only about two or so inches to go. Now you delight in grabbing those hips of hers to lift her up for a kiss, much to her embarrassment.

”Hellooo? You there?” Rainbow presses her snoot to your nose, her big magenta eyes blinking.

“Yeah yeah, just thinking is all.” You give her hand a little squeeze and angle your nose up, taking her snoot along. It gives you just enough clearance to give her a chaste kiss, making a warm pink bloom across her muzzle. “I mean, humans and ponies have roughly the same body plan, two sexes, use speech to communicate, eat the same foods, breathe the same air, stuff like that.”

The pegasus snorts and scrunches her muzzle up in bemusement. “I wouldn’t call ‘Ingleesh’ speech, hun. It’s more like somepony gargling broken rocks. Your accent is sexy, though.”

You roll your eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

”Aww, don’t be like that,” She fidgets again and leans up, showing you that she discarded her top before laying down with you. The only clothing she’s wearing is her form-fitting denim shorts, exposing her pert breasts and cute pink nipples to the world. “I mean it! You’ve got that gruff amazon thing going on and it drives mares wild. I know it drives me wild at least.”

Another curious thing about Equestria is the optional clothing. Fur-coated ponies can overheat easily, meaning they wear as little as possible with the exception of winter. Mares without large busts like Rainbow can even get away being topless in public in tightly-knit places like Ponyville.

Behind closed doors? Any level of dress is fair game. Rainbow likes ditching her usual thin halter or tube top, keeping her shorts on for her pockets. Her friend Applejack is more conservative and keeps herself covered. It really surprised you to learn that the usually bashful Fluttershy will gladly strip down to nothing if given the chance, letting the world see her voluptuous form.

“Equestrian is much prettier than English,” you admit, sitting up as well. “But some of the sounds I have to make are asinine.”

Rainbow scoots into your lap, easily sitting with room to spare, so you scoot yourself back to rest against the bed headboard. With her soft wings on your chest, the top of her head just barely comes up to your chin, so you rest your head on hers and suppress a giggle when her ears tickle your cheeks. From here, you can smell the faint scent of rain, her unique rainbow spice, and just a twinge of mare musk.

“Some of the sounds are asinine? Like what?” Rainbow asks.

You wrap your arms around her, hands resting just below her bust as you run your thumbs over the soft bottom curve of her breasts. “Sounds like zzzaaarrr. I hate that one,” you grimace when you butcher your example. The pony equivalent to a hard R requires a sound you can’t make. “I can’t make that purr sound you ponies can, so I have to roll my tongue to bastardize it. I still mess it up.”

”Hrmm...” The mare in your grasp tilts her head to the side and back, pressing her muzzle to the side of your chin. She makes the throaty purr sound without opening up her mouth. It’s a warm, even tone, almost like music. “It just sounds like your accent to me,” she says. “Plus you don’t really hear words with that often.”

With a grunt, you turn your head and kiss the side of her muzzle. “Don’t rain on my pity party.”

She giggles. “Sure thing. Anyway, alien stuff? We look alike, but isn’t there all the cultural junk you’re forgetting?”

“Alien stuff, yeah. We’ve got a lot in common, but I guess there is a lot of different stuff too,” you admit. “Right now is a good example. Before you, I’ve never really spent time just casually cuddling. My first girlfriend years back wasn’t a fan unless she was in the mood, and she wasn’t in the mood often. Hell, most of my relationships didn’t last long enough to get to this kind of stage.”

Rainbow Dash turns and gives you a queer look, as if debating the validity of your words. “What?” she asks after a long second. “I know you said that Eearff was weird and backwards, but how does that work? You like, need contact to be healthy. You can’t just do without.”

You shrug. “Before I came to Equestria, the hug you gave me when we met was the first one I had in roughly three years.”

The marely mare in your lap seems to wilt, looking even smaller, so you can’t help but wrap her in a tight hug. She squirms and shifts, turning and straddling your legs so she can wrap her arms around your neck in a return hug. “Anon...” Her large eyes are filled with an uncharacteristic melancholy.

“Don’t look so dour, it doesn’t fit on you.” you shush her. “We’re together now, so it’s not like I’m starving for affection. I think you spoil me, really.”

That just makes Rainbow growl and squeeze tighter.

Silly mare.

Higher Power

In a post-scarcity world, humanity took to the stars and scattered in a million directions, content to never see one another again. One man found a curious little planet, and with a bit of genetic know-how, left his mark before a reluctant wanderlust took him away.

Thousands of years later, he returns.

”Are you religious, Twilight?”

The youngest princess blinks her eyes as she and her once-mentor slowly walk down one of the opulent hallways of Canterlot castle. “Am I religious?”

Celestia nods, her face one of cool neutrality. “I’m well aware that you left the castle with a firm belief in atheism, but over these last few years, you’ve grown so much that I feel the need to ask.”

To say Twilight’s week has been unusual would be an understatement.

Eight days ago, while stargazing and marveling at Luna’s constellations, she noticed something most strange.

A new star.

How curious, she thought. Perhaps Luna put it there? She penned a letter and sent it off, wondering about the mystery star. The next day when her fellow princess’s reply came, Luna’s response was a single terse “No.”

When she looked at the star again that night, she gasped at what she saw. The star had moved to a new spot.

Another letter was sent, and this time the reply was had in minutes.

”Tell no one. Do not worry about it.”

Not ever since her ascension had she been given an order, and one so contradictory. She kept watching the star, noting with some disquiet its speed. Her telescope was traded for a suite of magic sensors and mana-powered radiological equipment, capturing details the naked eye could not.

A full chalkboard doublechecked later, and she found herself certain the “star” was moving at a significant fraction of the speed of light and was coming towards Equis from a distance too far to calculate… Then it vanished. She checked over and over for days, but found nothing. She was reeling over the star and its speed. This morning, she got a very firm “request” to come to Canterlot, leading to now.

Twilight ponders Celestia’s question as they walk. Is she religious? Does she believe in things like divinity? “I… Think there must be some sort of force out there, one larger than us. That's all I can really say?”

Celestia nods. “So you put no stock in creation myths?”

What's with this strange questioning, and how does it relate to the star? Twilight shakes her head, making her mane bounce. “No. Not when evolution has so many explanations for life in Equis.”

The older princess draws her lips into a thin, troubled line.

It was then that Twilight notices the lack of guards, maids, and any traffic really in the hallways. “C-Celestia?” A nameless unease begins to crawl down Twilight’s back. “What’s going on? Where is everyone?”

Celestia says nothing for a few more steps. “This wing of the castle has been evacuated. While the official reason stated was the outbreak of a magic cognitohazard, the truth is much more serious.”

Twilight feels her heart flutter in her chest, and her wings twitch with nervous energy. “Which is?” She has to force the words out.

”Twilight,” Celestia looks down at the younger alicorn, who feels the entirety of Celestia’s presence bear down upon her like a physical weight. “Many creation myths are wrong, but one known just by Luna and myself isn’t.” She gulps, and her crown lifts from her head in a golden glow. “There is a God, Twilight.” Her words are quiet, but the purple alicorn hears them perfectly.

Twilight feels her head slowly begin to swim. “What?” She asks, almost faltering.

“All ponies alive today, including you and I, can trace their lineage to Him.” Celestia licks her lips. “I remember it even now thousands of years later, being birthed from a womb of metal and glass, then being raised by His hand.” Celestia’s voice grows louder and louder, a sort of mania gripping her. “He was the Father from which all others would emulate. He loved us and turned Equestria from a barren hellscape into a green cradle. The others who were here first, the griffins, the yaks, the minotaurs, the dragons, all of them. If they dared strike us, He struck back. He sent them running, casually reducing all before Him to ash. Then He gave us magic, and then we could do such feats too. He’s not only real, Twilight, he’s come back! He’s here! In the castle!” A smile so large it looks painful splits Celestia’s face. “He is back!”

”Celestia, you're scaring me!” Twilight backs away in fright as Celestia steps closer with each word. Her wings flare ready to flee. “Please stop!”

The Sun Princess flinches back, stricken. “A-Ah. I...I’m sorry, Twilight.” She looks away, shamefaced. “It’s… It’s been so long, and I didn’t expect Him to have such an effect on me.” Celestia sighs. “This is why I asked if you were religious, Twilight. He’s returned, and I think as a princess, you should meet Him. Just being in the same room with Him is a religious experience of its own, so the cognitohazard evacuation is not unwarranted.”

Twilight refolds her wings and looks down at the floor, then back up to Celestia. “Is… Is it really that intense?”

The larger alicorn takes a deep breath and nods, idly turning the crown in her telekinesis. “Yes. Yes it is. He is your one true ancestor and the origin of everything you know. I won’t force you to go further, Twilight, but know that if you meet Him, you're going to experience strange and maybe uncomfortable emotions. I think you’ll be better for it, though.”

Once more, Twilight pauses. She’s faced demons, nightmares, monsters, and villains who could rock Equestria to its core. Does she have what it takes to face God?

She stares at the crown held in Celestia’s magic for a moment.

”I want to meet him.”

Celestia’s smile is nothing short of relieved. “Good. Now…” Her horn glows, and from the wall, a door phases into existence. “Steady yourself, Twilight.”

The door opens, and together, they venture inside.

Twilight blinks at the light inside, gazing around and smiling when she sees where she is. The Parlor of White, Celestia’s personal place of respite, and a place Twilight spent much of her foalhood learning from her surrogate mother.

The open window lets in a gentle breeze that tickles Twilight’s fur and makes the crystal wind chime in the windowsill play a delicate tune. The flowers in the planter hanging just outside fills the room with the scent of spring, and the cushions around the table look as soft and fluffy as ever. On the egg-shell-colored walls, paintings of herself and Celestia hang. Sitting on one of the cushions around the tea table is..!

Twilight feels all of her focus become sucked in.

Sitting there with the most beautiful smile she’s ever seen is her Father. No, not her father, her Father. She’s never seen Him before, but she remembers Him from a memory that isn’t hers. What? That isn’t right!

”Oh?” His voice is as smooth and rich as fine chocolate. Her heart races, yet she feels relaxed. “Who is this, Celly?” He asks, His shining eyes meeting Twilight’s.

Warmth, protection, love, purpose, belonging, emotions Twilight has no name for, they all mush together in an amalgamation that makes her feel so small and so weak yet so empowered. She can take on the world, but she dares not leave. A scent utterly alien to her nose snakes past the flowers, and nostalgia for things she never knew makes Twilight’s eyes sting with tears.

”Father,” Twilight is dimly aware of Celestia’s wing over her back. “Please meet Twilight, my wonderful student turned fellow princess. She’s like a daughter to me,” says the Sun Princess as she swells with pride.

”A daughter, hmm?” He hums a note both pleased and knowing, which sounds perfect coming from His mouth. As His lips part, Twilight spies canine teeth, but she doesn’t even entertain the thought that they might be turned on her. “Ah, those eyes are so intelligent, and she’s a pretty one. You’re a wonderful mom, Celly. I’m proud of you.”

Celestia chokes with emotion. Her crown almost falls from her grip.

”Well, don't just stand there,” He smiles and opens His arms, making a space MADE for Twilight. “Come here.”

Twilight moves.

Arms wrap around her, and suddenly danger does not exist.

A chest is pressed to hers, and suddenly the cold of the universe is no more.

Lips kiss her on her scalp, and suddenly she knows the meaning of being loved.

Twilight feels tears spill over her eyes, soaking His shirt, but He holds her and rocks her like a foal without judgment. He would never judge her.

”It’s nice to be home…” She can feel His gentle smile without seeing it.

Yes. Yes it’s nice to be home…

Unlikely Morning (Fluff)

"Morning."

You turn away from the sizzling, egg laden skillet and smile as Dash trots in the kitchen.

"Mornin' gorgeous. You finish your stretches?"

She returns your smile, a smattering of pink on her cheeks. "Yep. Got a minute to help with my chin ups?"

No boasting or sarcastic remark? Dash has really mellowed out since you and she started banging. It's kinda nice.

"Hmm... I might."

You do. Turning down the heat on the stove, you step away from it and hold your arms out.

Her smile turns into a grin just before she makes a running jump at you. Before she can slam into you, you reach out and snatch her front hooves, leaving her limp in your grip. Man, pegasi are so light.

"Alright, 20 for 3, 5 on the last."

The multicolored mare blinks and tilts her head. "Why 5 seconds on the last one?"

God that's cute.

"You'll see," you say mysteriously. "Ready? One!"

Rainbow lifts herself up, her head rising above her hooves to eye level with you.

"One, two three."

She holds it for 3 seconds, then drops again.

"Two, one, two, three."

You press your thumbs into the soft frogs of her hooves, keeping the blood in her legs circulating. No numb legs for this mare. Heh. To think this beautiful mare came to you because Applejack roped her into a dare.

"Gotta take the aylien on a date." Applejack said.

Then... You're not really sure what happened. You and Rainbow Dash just clicked.

She took you to a bar, you sat down, and you talked about all the "mare" stuff she wanted. You'll remember the surprised look on her face when you kept up with her hoofball and then countered with fond recounts of how your favorite team won big a year back. You and she went out again, then a third time.

Then you and she went to your place and fucked like animals. Good times.

"Nineteen, one, two, three."

Nice to see your mouth autopilot still works.

"Twenty, one, two, three, four..."

As Rainbow huffed, holding the chin-up, you lean forward and catch her lips with yours. Her eyes go wide and her face blooms with red. Even when her forelegs go limp, you raise your own arms to keep her at face level.

Low on air, she pulls away and takes a deep breath as her forelegs escape your hands, coming to rest around your neck and letting her hang.

You chuckle and press your forehead to hers. "Love ya."

She smiles. "Love you too, babe, but I think breakfast is burning."

Oh, so that's where that smoke smell was coming from.

"FUCK!"