Applejack Anonymous

by Clavier

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 36953

Ponyville has its secrets. Chief amongst them is that nearly everypony is in love with Applejack.

She’s the loyalest of friends and most dependable of ponies; how could anypony not fall in love with Applejack? In fact, so much of the town has found themselves under her seductive spell, they’ve formed a secret society to help each other cope with their unbridled lust. Operating in seclusion, this group has been an unseen staple of Ponyville. Surely, though, nothing good can come of the mare herself discovering the existence of Applejack Anonymous.

Cover pic by the inimitable Mr. Snowpony.

Published 2013-02-03 19:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-24 20:45:54 UTC

1: Tuesdays in Ponyville

Applejack Anonymous
a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 1
Tuesdays in Ponyville

“Hey, Applejack?”

“Howdy, Bonnie! What’s up?”

Startled, the filly shrank into her multicolored mane under the completely harmless scrutiny of her fillyhood friend. She squeaked, “Can we talk?”

Applejack barely even noticed how uncomfortable her friend was. “ ’course, sugarcube!”

Bon Bon shrunk even further away, barely audible, but managed to mumble her plea. “Y–you like me, right?”

“Sure Ah do, Bonnie, you’re my very best friend!”

“I l–like you too, Applejack.”

With a guffaw, Applejack tried to quell whatever spirit of terror had inhabited her trembling companion. “Well Ah’m glad.”

“I like you… a l–lot…”

She furrowed her brow, letting her wildly oversized hat fall over her eyes. It would be a number of years before it fit properly, but she still loved wearing it.

“I was h–hoping we could b–b–be more than friends, AJ.”

It finally sunk in. “Oh, Bonnie…”

“W–w–will you be my very speci–”

“Bonnie… Bon Bon… look, Ah like you a lot, but–”

She winced at the word, quivering and averting her eyes.

“Ah don’t… Ah mean, Ah don’t think me n’ fillies…”

“I understand,” Bon Bon murmured, barely audible. “We…” She choked on her words. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she started to speak again, but ultimately said nothing. She ran off with drooping ears and uneven footing. Applejack only watched, letting her go.

Applejack tried to shake the memory from her mind, but it was stuck fast. She just couldn’t stop replaying that moment, wondering what she ought to have done, and how she ought to have reacted. After that day, she and Bon Bon had drifted apart. She’d thrown away her closest friendship and the possibility of more because… well, she didn’t even know why. The foolishness of youth, she supposed. She’d always felt terrible about it, and blamed herself for their distance, but didn’t know how to repair their friendship. In the interim, she had made new friends, and so had Bon Bon. She rarely thought of what she’d lost, and wasn’t comfortable dwelling on it.

Still, it was a bitter memory, made only more bitter by recent events. Bon Bon’s long-expected wedding to Lyra Heartstrings had been held the previous day. It was a gala event with hundreds of guests, with a party planned by none other than Pinkie Pie and presided over by the mayor herself. Its preparation was the talk of the whole town for weeks, and surely the event would continue to be the talk of the whole town for weeks to come.

Applejack had not been invited.

She wanted to believe that it was a mere oversight, a clerical error or a letter dropped into a lake by a mailpony not minding the bags. She didn’t like the thought that she and her fillyhood friend were simply not friends anymore. She couldn’t tolerate the thought that she was being snubbed. Worse, she dreaded the possibility that had she just been a bit more open minded and less childish, it would have been her, and not–

Crack!

A few apples fell, but with them came a barrage of dislodged bark, pelting Applejack’s coat. She shook it off and prepared for another assault, but the last had drawn Big Macintosh’s attention. He gave her a nettled glare.

“Look, Ah’m just a bit distracted, Ah’ll be fine.”

Raising his hoof, he indicated the row of trees she’d come from. Each had two distinct, horseshoe-shaped imprints on them, and an alarming lack of bark, apples, leaves, most branches, or other signs of general apple tree health. He then pointed to her baskets, which in spite of the carnage around them were nearly bare of the fruit she was supposedly collecting.

His glare continued. Without words, it said, “Maybe today you shouldn’t do a job that involves kicking living things.”

With a harumph, Applejack relented. Bon Bon’s wedding still occupied much of her thoughts, and she was ashamed to realize how completely it distracted her, given that she prided herself on always getting every job done, and getting every job done right. She had recently reluctantly added “with some help from my friends” to that motto, but otherwise it had remained unchanged and resolute for years. Her work ethic wasn’t supposed to be so easily shattered.

Still, the trees were to her more important than her mental well-being.

She sighed. “Big Mac… didja ever think about settlin’ down?”

He responded with a crooked smile. “Ah don’t think that’s legal, sis.”

She stuck out her tongue in retort. “Very funny. Ah mean with somepony else, ya big galoot. Ah’ve just been thinking about it a lot Ah guess.”

After a momentary pause of consideration, he simply shrugged. “With who?”

It was a painfully direct observation. “That’s the problem, ain’t it,” she breathed. “Gotta keep my expectations down to earth. Stop chasin’ crazy fillyhood dreams.”

Big Macintosh raised an eyebrow at this seemingly out-of-the-blue statement.

“How was Bon Bon’s wedding?”

Affecting an expression of pure determination, he declared, “Ah didn’t go.”

“What? You were invited, weren’t you?”

He nodded and stamped a hoof. “Ah told ’er that if you weren’t invited, Ah wasn’t goin’.”

It was such a simple expression of sibling affection, it reminded her of how lucky she was to have a brother like Big Macintosh. “That’s mighty kind o’ ya, Ah suppose. Thanks.” She gave him an affectionate nuzzle. “Ah guess Ah’ll go do somethin’ that doesn’t kill our trees.”

She left with a shrug, and Big Macintosh simply returned to his task.

Tuesdays were usually applebucking days, and had been for years, but this Tuesday, she reckoned, would just have to be an apple-selling day. Selling apples, she assumed, could use the kind of fire she had put inappropriately into collecting them.

She trotted towards one of the oldest barns on Sweet Apple Acres. In it was her pride and joy: the apple stand. It had been in her family for four generations, and with a little bit of care, it continued to serve the family well, even as it gathered the smells of decades of ripe fruit. Still, with all the maintenance in the world, it was heavy, rusting, and quite a burden to pull. It was their primary source of income, but the family simply couldn’t justify pouring their minimal reserves into improving it, so it languished under her tender care.

Setting herself to the task at hoof, Applejack attached the harness and began the long trudge towards town.

Walking calmed her. Her plodding hoofsteps were welcomed by the soft spring wind through the apple trees carrying their sweet scent, the feel of well-packed earth underhoof, and the sound of–

Crash!

… the sound of pegasi careening into trees. Applejack stopped to roll her eyes at the sight. Rainbow Dash’s ability to recover from a crash was downright legendary: Hanging by her tail from a branch over the path, she was as cheery as ever. “Heya, Applejack! Uh, new trick. Didn’t quite stick the landing.”

Chuckling, Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “Ah can see that. Need some help?”

In a flash, Rainbow was back in the air, detached from the tree. “Not a chance! Hey, have you seen Twilight?”

Applejack shook her head as she continued walking. “Ah’ve been on the farm. Just goin’ into town to sell some apples.”

Rainbow frowned and nodded, then turned and bolted away. “Well you’re not gonna sell any today,” she cried back, already nearly too distant to hear. “Nopony’s in town!”

As it was too late to respond, given Rainbow’s speed, Applejack instead shrugged and recommitted herself to her trek. It was an odd thing to say, that there was nopony in town. But after all, it wasn’t even supposed to be an apple-selling day at all, so any business would be better than no business. And she figured that it wasn’t like there was some major pony holiday she was missing, so how empty could the town be?

She once again began to enjoy the familiar sounds and smells of the path, letting the ache from dragging heavy equipment soften under the cooling breeze. At that moment, her earlier concerns had vanished entirely from her mind, with only the simple, unthinking tedium of her walk taking its place. Each hoofbeat brought her further from her worries.

She was pulled from her euphoria by an unexpected but friendly babble.

“Hi Applejack!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Have you seen Dash or Twilight or maybe a cupcake ’cause I’m a bit hungry but first Dash or Twilight?”

After a moment of reeling from the onslaught of incomprehensible pink syllables, Applejack replied with slight agitation. “Ah just saw Dash, she was lookin’ for Twi. Ain’t seen Twi.”

Pinkie Pie huffed at the flat and unhelpful reply, but turned instantly back to her cheery self, following Applejack as she continued down the path.

“What ’cha doin’?”

“Just headin’ into town to set up the stand.”

Pinkie’s head twisted almost impossibly far to express simple confusion. “On a Tuesday? Why? Nopony’s there!”

Applejack stopped in her tracks. “Now just what’s goin’ on, Pinkie? Dash told me the same thing. And what’s so special about Tuesdays?”

With narrowed eyes glancing nervously from side to side, Pinkie indicated for Applejack to come closer. Applejack leaned in. With a conspiratorial tone, the pink pony whispered, “On Tuesday, something happens.”

“… Something.”

“Something.”

“… Happens.”

“Happens!”

Applejack shook her head and resigned herself to getting no useful information, which was a pretty common conclusion to a conversation with Pinkie Pie anyway. With nothing better to do, she kept walking towards the town.

Pinkie Pie vanished as mysteriously as she’d appeared, but her voice still rung out a final valediction: “Tell me if you see Twilight!”

Resigned to a lack of peace, the remainder of the journey felt far more achy and painful than the beginning had been. Worse, it seemed doomed to failure, if she were to believe Rainbow and Pinkie’s testimonies. With nothing left to do and nothing left to think about, her thoughts once again began to wander towards Bon Bon.

“I was h–hoping we could b–b–be more than friends, AJ.”

It finally sunk in. “Oh, Bonnie…”

“W–w–will you be my very speci– mmf!”

It was exactly what she’d wanted to hear. Exactly what she’d dreamed of. She couldn’t help herself. She cut off Bon Bon with a kiss.

There was nothing particularly special about it, really. It was like any first fillyhood kiss, exciting but somewhat flat and fumbled. It was a rocky beginning, but it was a beginning. A beginning of many years growing to know each other, to love each other, to be with each other.

And so, as Applejack stood at the altar, staring into Bon Bon’s eyes—Lyra had not been invited—her answer seemed so clear.

“Ah do.”

“Uh, do what?”

Suddenly lifted from her wild imaginings, Applejack stumbled to explain herself. “Uh, do– err, Ah do declare… um…”

Rainbow just laughed sportingly as Applejack failed utterly to suppress her blush. But it was Pinkie who interjected to make things worse. Giggling, she sputtered, “I now pronounce you mare and wife!”

Rainbow and Pinkie chortled together, nearly falling over each other.

Applejack walked past them, sneering. But in doing so, she was astute enough to notice something about the town. There was, in fact, nopony around. Ponyville was more barren than she’d ever seen it. Excluding herself and her two giggling compatriots, who were now hustling off somewhere else anyhow, she couldn’t spot a single soul on the normally busy streets. Still, she was far too committed to let that deter her, so she positioned her cart in the middle of the empty marketplace and, with a powerful buck, opened it. Then she waited.

She rearranged a basket of apples to make them as presentable as she possibly could. She stared at them for a long while. When she finally convinced herself that they were acceptable, she looked up again. Still, nopony was there.

She watched as a small cloud of dust was swept up by the light breeze, gently drifting over the cobblestone and distributing itself in a grandiose sweep across the marketplace, only to be lifted once more and shuffled again, like an explorer, ever ready for an adventure to the farthest reaches of the world. Or, as it were, Ponyville.

And watching dust was, at that point, the most interesting thing she could think to do.

She moved a basket of baking apples to the back, to show only the most delicious-looking fruit to potential customers. As if there were any customers. Potential or otherwise.

The length of an hour is, in principle, a fixed unit. It does not change. An hour is an hour. And yet, an hour of standing on cobblestone and staring at the dust whipped up by wind in an empty marketplace can feel insurmountably longer than an hour of bucking apples. And, Applejack was sure, there were plenty of other things taking roughly an hour that would seem to go by much more quickly as well.

But she wasn’t doing any of these exciting things. All she was doing was standing. She was very soon barely doing that, as she was in fact sleeping.

“Slow day, huh?”

She was startled awake by the friendly tones of a handsome, if rather undistinguished, brown stallion, who was uniquely identifiable only by a shock of electric blue hair. He bore a warm smile and soft eyes, but the attitude of a friend, not a customer.

“Mighty slow.” Applejack’s frustration undermined her attempt to be equally amiable. “What’s goin’ on anyhow?”

The stallion shrugged, seeming honestly ignorant. “Not sure, but it happens every week. Nopony’ll say. Well, have a nice day, Applejack.”

The potential sale lost with the flicking of a blue tail, Applejack stomped a hoof on her cart, which groaned under the unwarranted strain, and kicked an apple to the ground in frustration. It was only seconds after the apple landed, however, that it was assaulted by a pink blur.

“This one touched the ground that means it’s free right?!”

Applejack chuckled. “Sure, Pinkie, but the next one’ll cost double.”

“Deal!” The apple vanished—core, stem and all—in one quick gulp, during which Rainbow Dash joined the pair, swooping in from above with her usual overly dramatic flair.

“Sorry Pinkie, I can’t find Twilight anywhere! Hey, AJ, you haven’t–”

“Nope. And y’all still haven’t told me what this all’s about, anyhow.”

After a moment to guess what “this all” referred to, Rainbow stared with a look of utter shock. “You mean, you don’t know?”

Applejack was in no mood to play around, so she just stared her perpetual rival down.

“Yeah, I guess you’re never in town on Tuesday. Well, every week, everypony… well, just disappears. Me and Pinkie and Twilight always got together to try to figure out what everypony’s doing, ’cause they won’t tell us, and–”

“And now Twilight’s gone too!” Pinkie interrupted. “It’s a cataclysm! Well, it’s probably not a cataclysm, but it might be a catastrophe… or maybe just a calamity? No, it’s worse than a calamity but not as bad as a catastrophe so maybe–”

Knowing that this could go on forever, Applejack cut Pinkie off. “So now Twilight’s probably all wrapped up in whatever everypony else is doin’, and y’all never told me on account of Ah’m never in town on Tuesday.”

Pinkie and Rainbow nodded vigorously.

“So let’s find ’er and figure out what’s goin’ on!”

“Uhh, that’s a nice idea and all,” Rainbow groused sarcastically, “but how?”

Applejack turned to Pinkie as she kicked her stand closed. “With practically everypony in town all together somewhere, surely y’all’ve got some Pinkie Sense that can lead us to ’em?”

As if on cue, Pinkie sneezed.

“Follow that nose!” commanded Applejack.

Whether she was being led by her own seemingly supernatural forces or just being pushed along by Applejack was unclear, but either way, Pinkie led the group. For a while they wandered the residential streets of Ponyville with little obvious direction, passing well-groomed gardens and picket fences in various hues, with nearly every house and grounds conspicuously missing its occupants. However, as they approached the outskirts of town, they found themselves on the campus of a small but esteemed college, the West Ponyville Institute of Geology and Mining.

Pinkie became excited at the sight. “Oooh, it’s my old school! I wonder what everypony would be doing here!”

Rainbow affected a skeptical expression, asking, “You have a degree? From the Institute of Geology?”

If Pinkie understood that that had been intended as a jeer, she didn’t show it, as she continued to hop along merrily at the head of the group. “Of course! I majored in Agrogeonomics and minored in Earth Pony Studies.”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash both halted at this. Applejack blinked in confusion. “Agro… geo… Ah don’t think Ah even know what that means.”

Not noticing that her comrades were now lagging behind, Pinkie explained. “Agrogeonomics is the scientific study of the impact of the cultivation of rocks as produce on the global economy!”

“Uh… what? Ah’m more confused than a gopher in a gaggle o’ geese…”

“Shh!” Pinkie whispered, stopping so far ahead of the others that she was barely audible. “I think I hear something!”

She held her ground while the others caught up, then all three crept slowly towards a large building labeled “Sedimentary Science”. As they worked their way through a row of trees, windows became visible, and through them, a crowd of ponies in an auditorium-style classroom, clearly in the midst of some moderately secretive meeting. Applejack couldn’t help but notice that both Bon Bon and Lyra were amongst the attendees, but yet again, she had not been invited.

Applejack approached the window, keeping out of sight. Inside, Fluttershy stood at a podium at the front, waving encouragingly for Twilight, nearby, to take the stage. Twilight looked somewhat apprehensive, but reluctantly took her place at the podium.

“Hello.” She spoke so softly that Applejack could barely hear her from outside. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and… and…”

Fluttershy, still at Twilight’s side, spoke in her usual calming tones. “I promise you’ll feel much better once you say it.” Much of the crowd nodded in agreement.

Twilight nodded, took a deep breath, and, with eyes closed and cheeks red, spoke again. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and… I’m in love with Applejack.”

The crowd echoed her with a friendly, “Hello, Twilight!”

Applejack lost her footing and nearly fell to the ground, but was caught by a quick maneuver from Rainbow. Hearing the commotion, a few assembled ponies near the window turned, but all three outside managed to duck out of view in time.

“Did Ah… did she just say…”

Rainbow nodded, no less confused than Applejack.

“Why… what… Ah…” Applejack stammered. Unable to resist temptation, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie raised themselves back to the window, and, verifying that nopony saw them, encouraged Applejack to do the same.

Applejack protested, “B–but… this is just… weird!” Rainbow and Pinkie both nodded, flummoxed, but continued to motion for her to join them. Reluctantly, slowly, she did.

Fluttershy was speaking softly and encouragingly to Twilight. “Remember, we’re all here for the same reason, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Just tell us how it happened.”

Still red-faced, Twilight had only begun to calm down, but nonetheless nodded in agreement.

“Do you remember, a couple years ago, when Applejack had a big harvest, and Big Macintosh was injured, so she had to handle it all herself?”

Several members of the crowd nodded.

“And she also tried to do a bunch of other stuff to help out, but she was overwhelmed?”

More nodded, though some shuddered at the memory.

“Well, I ended up spending a lot of time with her that week, trying to encourage her to take a break. And, well… I realized that even when she’s at her very worst, it’s because she’s trying so hard to help everypony. Even when she’s being stubborn and proud, she’s stubbornly trying to do right for Ponyville.

“When she finally hit bottom, exhausted and sweaty and not even able to stand, and she finally accepted help, I saw her… well, differently than I ever had before. She was just so… exposed.”

A few members of the crowd chuckled at this phrasing, leading Twilight to glow brighter than ever. “N–no, not like that! Well, I mean, yes, like that, b–but I mean, oh, jeez–”

Fluttershy put a reassuring hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “It’s OK, Twilight, we understand what you mean.”

Twilight took a moment to calm herself again, and continued. “Anyway, I didn’t even realize that I was… well, ‘that way’ until then. And ever since then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her… I make excuses to be with her… I dream about her… I was too afraid to tell her, but I had to tell somepony, so finally I confided in Fluttershy. And, well, here I am.”

The entire crowd clapped politely while Fluttershy retook her position at the podium. “Thank you, Twilight. And just so you know, Applejack is a very special mare, you don’t have to be ‘that way’ to be here.”

Bon Bon’s familiar voice cried out, “But it helps!”

Most of the assemblage burst out laughing at this, with the conspicuous exception of Lyra, who seemed to fold into herself in embarrassment. Seeing this, Bon Bon pulled her into a hug and exclaimed, “Aw, pookie, I can be your Applejack!”

Completely flabbergasted by the display, Applejack sunk away from the window; her eyes were wide, her face starkly pale. “This can’t be real! It’s some kind o’ prank! That’s… that’s almost every pony in Ponyville…”

Still at the window, Rainbow’s gaze swept over the crowd, then she let out a sly chuckle. “Well, not quite every pony!”

“OK, OK, everypony except for you two.”

Rainbow just laughed harder. “Look closer!”

Returning to her spot at the window, Applejack did just that. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It was, in fact, nearly the entire population of Ponyville. Except…

“Um… OK, every mare in Ponyville.”

Finally noticing that pattern herself, Pinkie joined Rainbow’s laughter, the two nearly falling over each other.

“Every… every mare in Ponyville…”

Pinkie and Rainbow continued their shared laughter until they noticed that Applejack was slowly backing away, eyes darting nervously between the two of them. They stopped simultaneously to stare back, confused.

“Y–you’re not… Ah mean, you two aren’t…?”

Rainbow smiled cockily. “Hey, don’t get me wrong, if you’re looking for a romp in the hay, I’m your mare, but love?” She struck a ridiculous pose, wings outstretched and muzzle pointed towards the sky. “I’m too fast for love.”

Applejack just rolled her eyes at the display. “Yeah, Ah’ll just bet you are.”

It took a while for Rainbow to realize that she had been insulted. “Hey! That’s not what I meant! I’ll show you!” Much to Applejack’s horror, she pounced with seemingly erotic intent.

Applejack fought off Rainbow’s treacherous advances for a few rounds, until they both caught sight of Pinkie, giving Applejack a strange, scrutinous look.

“Um… Pinkie?”

Rainbow disentangled herself, and as Applejack returned to her hooves and dusted herself off, Pinkie walked around her, examining every inch of her in ridiculous detail.

“Uh… what are you doin’, Pinkie… Ah don’t think Ah like this…”

Ignoring her pleas, Pinkie prodded her ribs and her thigh, then held her mane for a moment.

“Please tell me you’re not– yipe!” Pinkie stuck her head between Applejack’s hind legs. “Woah there, pony girl, that’s off limits!”

Retracting and returning to the other side to face Applejack with her usual bright grin, Pinkie stated, absurdly, “Naw, you’re a good friend and all, but you’re not ‘equipped’!”

Rainbow guffawed and fell to the ground, holding her sides. Applejack just shook her head. Alerted by this ruckus, a few ponies inside once more turned towards the window, so all three ponies outside dropped to the ground and silenced themselves. A light blue unicorn that nopony recognized came to the window, and all three held their breath, praying she wouldn’t look down.

A blue aura surrounded the curtains folded neatly at the edge of each window, and quickly snapped them shut. As easily as the group had found their goal, they now found themselves blocked off from it. The thick curtains even cut off most of the sound, leaving the three alone to contemplate what they’d seen.

Applejack looked straight ahead, not willing to meet the gaze of either of her friends—or, for that matter, anypony else. She got up very slowly, dusted herself off, and began to walk back towards the marketplace in a plodding, tired pace, to retrieve her cart.

With a shared shrug, Rainbow and Pinkie also departed, in opposite directions.

Applejack’s mind raced, and yet she couldn’t think of anything in particular. She tripped over stray thoughts, odd remembrances of ponies doing or saying things that seemed so different in this new light, but still couldn’t make sense of it. She barely even thought of labor as she attached herself to her harness and began to drag the cart back towards her home.

The weight was comforting. It made her feel reattached to the world. In fact, it wasn’t particularly dissimilar to having hooves on her back, the weight of another pony…

She shook herself, pushing that thought from her mind. When she arrived at her home, she locked the cart in the barn and immediately went to bed without a second thought. Her blankets, a calming dark purple that always helped to lull her to sleep, welcomed her to what she hoped would be a restful night. She was so mentally exhausted from her day, she fell asleep readily.

It felt like she had barely closed her eyes when she woke up again. She wasn’t in her bed any longer. She was lying on her side, on a hard, dark surface, surrounded by utter blackness. She would have concluded that she was in a completely dark room except that she could see herself perfectly.

“Hello?”

Suddenly she was twisted from her side onto her back, and her legs were lifted up beyond her control. After struggling fruitlessly, she looked down to see what had snagged her. Her eyes widened and her mouth turned dry at the sight.

Each of her hooves was encompassed in the magenta glow of powerful magic.

“T–Twilight?”

As if summoned from another plane of existence, Twilight’s face, and soon the rest of the unicorn, appeared above her, looking down at her with a small, satisfied smile and impossibly bright eyes. The two ponies’ relative positions made Twilight appear upside-down, rendering her otherwise endearing smile into a sinister frown.

“I know that you know about us, Applejack.”

“Oh, um, about that…”

Twilight sighed listlessly. “I thought you were so honest, Applejack. You’d never stoop to something like this.”

“Ah didn’t mean to eavesdrop! We were just curious!”

The fire returned to her eyes. “Well, we’re going to have to do something about this.”

Applejack could only stare helplessly as Twilight leaned down, the fury never leaving her gaze, until their lips met.

There was undeniably magic in the kiss. Fire and ice ran through Applejack’s veins, and she twitched all over with a strange mix of pleasure and pain. She tried pulling away, yelling out, even biting Twilight’s tongue to make it stop, but nothing worked.

She was completely helpless as the horde descended upon her. Fluttershy flitted in from above, Rarity slid gracefully to her side, Bon Bon and Lyra bounded in with their mischievous intent clear. There was nothing she could do to stop them.

And for a moment, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to.

Author's Note

Whew-ee! This has been in the works for a while! I'd like to thank many people who helped along the way:

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie, Gold and Mr Snowpony

There were certainly others, and if I missed you, I'm sorry, bother me about it!

And of course, I want to thank you, dear reader. If you enjoyed it—heck, even if you didn't—please leave a comment. I love hearing from you!

2: The Mare Nopony Can Resist

Applejack Anonymous
a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 2
The Mare Nopony Can Resist

Applejack sprang awake in a cold sweat, panting heavily as her damp sheets clung to her body.

“Just a nightmare… just a nightmare.”

It sure didn’t feel like a nightmare.

“Just a dream…”

The first rays of Celestia’s light peeking through her open window indicated that she had overslept. In spite of that, and unlike most mornings, she could barely drag herself out of bed. Her sleep had been entirely restless, and as she stumbled into her bathroom and saw herself in front of the mirror, her exhaustion was obvious. Her mane was disheveled, her eyes were bloodshot, and her coat was sticking up at weird angles.

“Here she is, everypony, the mare nopony can resist!” She couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it, and the fact that the laugh and lack of rest made her cough up a bit of morning phlegm only led her to laugh harder. For a moment, she was convinced that the whole previous day had been part of the same nightmare, and so she began preparing herself with renewed energy.

She really did clean up nice. Even she couldn’t deny it; of course, typically a pony wouldn’t want to deny that of themselves, but this was a unique situation. After bathing, drying herself and tying up her mane, she caught another glimpse of herself in the mirror and frowned. In spite of everything, she understood. Green eyes, freckles, strong and toned… she would have to do something about that.

There was only one solution, as far as she was concerned: be less like herself. Her first step in meeting this goal was to release her mane, allowing it to flow down over her face and neck. It was not unlike Rarity’s, though a bit longer and straighter. Satisfied that she had covered most of her face, she opened a dresser and dug through it, not quite sure what she was looking for. Nonetheless, she knew it when she spotted it.

She hadn’t worn work jeans in a decade, and the last pair she had were worn and a bit pale. As far as she was concerned, that was perfect. She struggled to pull them on, realizing in the process that she really was considerably stronger than she had been when she was younger; the fit was tight, but seemed to cover everything.

With another look in the mirror, she smiled at… somepony. Somepony who, to her relief, was not Applejack.

The final step of her usual morning routine before breakfast was to don her favorite hat. But this step gave her pause.

It really was a very nice hat.

Too nice?

But it covered up more. Covering up was supposed to be good, or at least so she mused.

No, whether it was too nice or not, it was too Applejack. She would do without.

Replacing the hat on its rack, she left her room, confident that she could handle this day like any other. As she was running late, Big Macintosh had already eaten and had kindly left a stack of pancakes in the oven to keep warm. The stack was a bit smaller than it ought to have been, undoubtedly because Apple Bloom had snuck a few extra pancakes when nopony was looking. She smiled and reminded herself to ask her sister about it later.

Unsurprisingly, they were apple pancakes. Unsurprisingly, she ate them with apple syrup. Unsurprisingly, she loved every sweet bite.

Tuesday may have normally been an applebucking day, but Wednesday was always an apple-selling day, and this Wednesday was to be no different, in spite of Applejack’s trepidation. She busied her thoughts with preparing the apple cart. It was exactly where she’d left it, in the barn, closed up and ready to be taken to town.

To Ponyville.

With all the other ponies.

With all the other mares…

Noticing a spot of mud on its frame, she trotted from the barn and was back in a flash with a bucket of warm water and a damp rag. Soon her small chore of cleaning its frame turned into cleaning the whole stand.

Definitely not stalling.

Definitely not afraid of going into town.

When the cart had been washed, and also had had a few nails removed and re-hammered and a small crack in a wheel mended, plus all the visible surfaces had been sanded, varnished and waxed, and the sign that read “Apple Family Apples” had been touched up to the point of being nearly repainted, and an axle realigned and the hinges had been replaced with spares, she examined her handiwork. The old stand really was a thing of beauty.

For selling apples.

In town.

Not in the barn.

She relented, having no excuses left and nothing to do but drag the cart into town. It took a moment to figure out how to strap it on without it tugging at her old jeans, but she failed to find a way to make that simple chore take more than a few minutes. Ready to sell, she was off.

The walk was slightly easier, as her muscles were loose from the morning’s work and she was quite distracted from the strain anyway. She breathed calmly, trying to ignore her recent problems and just enjoy the outdoors, listening only to the simple clip-clop of her hooves against the packed earth, the occasional crunch of a twig and the wind lightly rustling through the leaves. The rows of trees blended into a backdrop of green bliss, and she tried to drink in its ambrosia.

It didn’t work. She knew that the green bliss was merely the gateway to her own personal Hell.

On that thought, the first rows of houses became visible. From this direction, there was very little in the way of common residences, and she quickly found herself entering the town proper, and thus being subjected to the scrutiny of her fellow ponies.

Dragging the apple cart hadn’t made her particularly tired, but she sweated nonetheless. She could barely see out of her right eye with her mane tousled as it was, but she counted that as a blessing; what she saw to her left did little to subdue her troubles, and she feared the possibility that the situation was similar on her right.

Everypony stared at her. Everypony waved and said their friendly salutations. And then, instead of going back to their business, they kept staring. They watched her until she was out of their view.

Was that normal? She couldn’t remember. It seemed too… friendly. No, not friendly at all; it seemed downright intimate. She didn’t like it, but it was too late to escape.

“Applejack!” Her route brought her past Carousel Boutique, and its proprietor was there to greet her. “Love love love the new look, very harvest-chic. You should let your mane down more often!”

Applejack began to contemplate the possibility that her attempts at looking “un-Applejack” had not had the desired effect, but decided that Rarity wasn’t the ideal judge. She nodded and muttered “uh, thanks” over her shoulder, but didn’t break her gait. Not one to be deterred, Rarity trotted right along next to her, downright beaming in spite of Applejack’s discomfort.

“I certainly hope this is a sign of a newfound interest in fashion, Applejack. I’ll bet if you came by my shop later we could really make you shine!”

Applejack stopped in her tracks. “You, uh, want me to come by your shop?”

“… Yes?”

“So ya can have me in n’ out o’ clothes for hours and hours?”

“Well… yes?”

“Nothin’ doin’.” She resumed her original pace with little acknowledgement of her would-be outfitter.

Rarity gave a wistful sigh. “One of these days I’ll drag you out of all the mud and mess you work in and show you how to take some pleasure in life.”

Applejack shuddered and put more distance between herself and the harbinger of that supposed pleasure. “Not today.”

For all its awkwardness, the conversation had distracted her from everypony else. Now she was once again alone, but not really alone at all. She had as company the leering eyes of every mare in Ponyville.

She scolded herself for that thought. Surely they couldn’t be leering, she reckoned. That’s just not polite. They were just surprised to see her new look.

When she reached the marketplace and found an open spot—albeit one that seemed to open up magically upon her arrival, between Golden Harvest and a mare she didn’t recognize—she took her place and kicked open her stand.

Everypony was still staring at her. Or at least, she thought they were.

She began stacking baskets of apples to block herself from view. At first she just placed a couple baskets to her sides. Then she put a few in front of her. With the stand at her back and apple baskets around her, she was sure that anything enticing was out of view.

They were still staring at her.

Disregarding the correct mixing of apple cultivars, she stacked any apples she could find, mixing Macouns and Newton Wonders with reckless abandon; anything to hide herself.

Her eyes darted around. Nopony else’s did. They were still staring at her. She couldn’t understand why she was the center of attention when she was practically buried in apples.

Relenting to her hysteria, she constructed herself a veritable fort of apple baskets, such that only her muzzle was visible between a basket of Fujis and a basket of McIntoshes. At least, she concluded, this way nopony would be staring at her. Of course, she couldn’t rightly tell if they were or not; even if her vision had not been obscured by her mane, it certainly would have been obscured by her impromptu stronghold. But surely they couldn’t be. Why would they stare? All they’d see was her nose and a giant pile of apples. Nothing worth staring at.

The market was busy that day, as always, but to Applejack’s relief, her apple stand, normally one of the most popular, didn’t seem to be attracting any customers. Although her cocoon was far from comfortable, and was made less so by her mane getting in her eye and mouth and her jeans pulling tightly against her hind legs, it was sufficient to wait out the day in.

A familiar, and thankfully male, voice was the first to greet her. She recognized the voice as Caramel’s, even with only his caramel-colored hooves visible through her wall. “Hey there… Applejack? That is Applejack, right?”

“Howdy, Caramel,” she replied with restrained relief. “What can Ah do ya for?”

“Err… I was going to buy some apples for… y’know what, I don’t need ’em so badly. Uh, talk to you later, Applejack.”

Before she could think of some explanation for her situation, he had left. Kicking herself for the lost sale, she thought of an excuse, and waited for another customer, hoping only for a stallion.

In a town with a 97% female population, that hope can rarely be fulfilled.

“Hi, Applejack! Playing hide-and-go-seek with somepony? I love that game!”

The pair of pale yellow legs that appeared could have belonged to any of a dozen mares, and Applejack had no way of guessing whose they were. But at least she had her excuse prepared this time.

“New advertisin’ campaign. Put the apples first!”

Whoever it was, she was nearly as exuberant as Pinkie Pie. “That’s so clever! You’re always so clever!” The legs moved a bit, and Applejack’s apple fort shifted somewhat. “Two, please!”

“Uh… three bits.” She wasn’t quite sure why she’d said it. It was an unreasonable price for two apples. Not highway robbery, but hardly sensible.

The bubbly stranger didn’t protest the inflated price, but did voice another concern. “Uh, how am I supposed to pay you?”

It was a problem she hadn’t considered. She wasn’t behind the counter. She didn’t have a slot for change. She couldn’t extend her hoof without toppling her fort of apples. The only part of her that was free was her muzzle. Which is to say, her mouth.

And her lips.

Whoops.

The other mare had apparently come to the same conclusion, and was precariously balancing three coins between her teeth, just within sight through the crack in Applejack’s wall. Applejack shuddered, but steeled herself, and prepared to receive the payment.

The mare inched closer. A bead of sweat trickled down Applejack’s cheek.

Ptoo!

The coins flew to Applejack’s hooves, and the stranger stole a quick peck on the lips before darting off, giggling. It was too quick to avoid, and too quick to possibly guess who the mare had been. Applejack recoiled in shock and a small degree of horror, knocking over a basket of apples.

Like dominos, all of the baskets began to fall. One lost its balance, falling into another, then another, until layer upon layer of them teetered. She flailed about to right them, but wasn’t fast enough. Soon the south wall collapsed, then the east. When the north wall fell, defeat was inevitable. She could only watch, transfixed, as a sea of apples swallowed her.

She breathed heavily a few times and twitched under the load of apples. At least the smell was nice.

But everypony was staring at her again.

Staring at her legs and muzzle sticking at odd angles out of an enormous pile of assorted apples.

She hated when everypony stared at her.

“Uhh… need some help there, Casanova?” Her only relief was the fact that this unwanted nickname came from Rainbow Dash, and not some other mare.

“Mmmf.”

A pair of hooves pulled her out, and she righted herself with a shake and a quick flip of her mane. Her precious fort of apple baskets was in shambles. All manner of cultivars were mixed, but luckily the cart had been mostly spared since she’d set up her fortification far enough away from it. Concluding that the damage was repairable, she turned to her rescuer.

“Thanks, Rainbow, Ah was…” Seeing Rainbow’s expression, her attitude reversed. “What… what’re ya starin’ at? Ah don’t like it when ya look at me like that, Dash…”

Rainbow’s eyes were wide, and her jaw hung agape. “Y–your mane! And, pants?!”

“Well, Ah figured since everypony seems to be all gaga over me like Ah was, Ah’d try somethin’ different.”

“Like entering the ‘Sexiest Mare in Equestria’ competition? I don’t think that helps, Applejack!”

Applejack took a step back. “Wh–what?!”

Rainbow shook herself, her eyes fixated on Applejack. “At this rate, next week I’ll be the newest member of your lovey-dovey fan club. You’re… you’re hot! Hrrrng!” She put a hoof over her eyes mockingly.

“OK, Ah get it, har-dee– um, hi.”

Whether Twilight’s dazed expression was due to Applejack’s appearance or the apples scattered about would not have been clear if not for her poorly concealed blush. “Hi…”

“Need somethin’?” Applejack asked gruffly.

“Are… um… wow…”

Her nostrils flared and she stomped a hoof. “Well, what is it?”

Twilight recoiled from the brunt of Applejack’s rage, clearly hurt. She almost whispered her request. “What kind of apples do you recommend for an apple cake?”

“McIntosh.”

“Six please.”

“Don’tcha think sex apples are a bit much?”

“That’s what the–”

“Six apples! Six apples!”

“–recipe called for.” Seeing that Applejack’s anger was clearly not directed at her in particular, Twilight began to relax. “What happened? Can I help you clean up or anything?”

Ignoring her, Applejack put six McIntosh apples in a paper bag. “That’ll be fourteen bits.”

Twilight scoffed. “For six apples?!”

It was a good point. Reminding herself that she wasn’t helping matters, Applejack tried to recover the situation. “Ah mean, uh… fourteen cents?”

“… For six apples?”

“Three bits!”

Clearly confused, Twilight hoofed over the bits, then, her actual business concluded, repeated her more friendly query. “What happened?”

Applejack huffed. “Ain’t nothin’.”

After a moment of consideration of this blatant lie, Twilight’s eyes widened and she panickingly babbled, “Oh no, oh no, oh no! You… you know, don’t you?”

Worst-case scenario. “Ah wasn’t eavesdropping, it was a mistake!”

“You’re a terrible liar, Applejack.” Twilight sighed with a pouty frown. “OK, OK. Well, if you know, then you can help. But we can’t talk about it now. Meet me at the library tonight?”

A million thoughts flew through Applejack’s mind. Help? That couldn’t be good. Visions began to resurface. Suddenly Twilight was standing over her, holding her hooves with cruel magic, leaning down; the fire and ice returned, her body froze, her blood boiled. She recoiled in terror. “Help?! Tonight?!” She swallowed hard. “… Your place?”

“Well, I’m not a very good baker, but I didn’t want anypony else to find out about Spike’s surprise party, so I thought I’d try to make the cake myself…”

Applejack’s relief was palpable. “Oh, oh, Spike’s surprise party, y–”

“Keep your voice down!” Twilight’s eyes darted about, looking for any sign of an interloping baby dragon.

“Sorry,” Applejack whispered. “Ah’d be happy to help ya, Twi.”

“Oh. Oh! Great, see you tonight then!”

“Tonight.”

With a nod, Twilight left, trotting cheerfully away. Applejack took a few deep, relieved breaths, but sharply inhaled when she was interrupted by Rainbow Dash’s voice. She had forgotten that her confidant was still there, smiling cockily as ever.

“What the heck was that all about?”

“… Ah don’t wanna talk about it.”

Unrelenting as ever, Rainbow continued to prod for any nerves. “Well I’d like sex apples too!”

Applejack just growled, making no attempt at forming words.

“Three right here…” Practically prancing, Rainbow poked Applejack’s left thigh, right where her cutie mark was. The taut fabric rustled against Applejack’s skin in surprising ways, but that only made her angrier. “… And three right here!” Rainbow poked her right thigh in the same spot.

Still, Applejack could only growl at her torment. This, of course, just made Rainbow laugh, until in her jubilance she tripped into the expansive pile of now-worthless apples. With her upside-down and covered in sticky bits of apple, it was now Applejack’s turn to laugh. Rainbow pumped her wings uselessly, but they were stuck in the gooey applesauce.

“Y’all handle your hooves like a chicken handles its wings,” Applejack snickered.

“Har-dee-har. Help me outta here, wouldja?”

She was still chuckling as she helped her friend up. Rainbow tried to nonchalantly brush herself off, like a cat when seen doing something embarrassingly ungraceful, and relaxed when Applejack—and everypony else—stopped staring at her.

Never finding reason to introduce her intrusions, Pinkie Pie appeared as if from nowhere, and whispered excitedly between them, “Oh my goodness, I heard a big secret but I can’t tell you ’cause it’s a secret but oh my goodness it’s such a big secret!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ya mean how the whole town has a secret club that wants to hunt me down like jackrabbits in the spring?”

“Noooo! That’s not even a secret, everypony knows that… which I guess they’d have to, since everypony’s in it! I know another secret!”

Rainbow put a hoof to her head. “Is it about Spike?”

As per usual, Pinkie Pie was barely able to suppress her exuberance. “Yesssss!”

Rainbow droned, “Is it about his secret birthday party?”

Her energy waned somewhat, but that still left her the most excited pony present. “How did you know?”

Thinking quickly, Applejack cut in. “Y’know what, Pinkie, Twilight is lookin’ for somepony to help her bake the cake tonight. Ah think you should help her, she’d really appreciate that!”

What little enthusiasm Pinkie had lost was regained quickly, as she wailed, “Really? Really really? But you’re a great baker, Applejack!”

“Uh… maybe Ah don’t want to spend time alone with Twi right now…”

Pinkie cocked her head, confused. After a moment, Rainbow gave her a knowing smirk. “Oh, I get it,” Pinkie finally said with an exaggerated wink to Applejack, “you spill a bit of icing on yourself and suddenly Twilight’s all, ‘Oh no, that’ll stain your mane, let me get that… with my tongue.’ ”

Applejack grimaced, but Rainbow refused to leave the taunting there. Imitating Applejack’s accent, she added, “ ‘Oh Twi, Ah had no idea you were so flexible!’ ”

“ ‘Oops, now I’ve gone and sat in the powdered sugar.’ ”

“ ‘Oh, Ah think Ah can do somethin’ about that!’ ”

Both then waggled their tongues at each other and made a series of increasingly obscene gestures, while Applejack became riled and, to her own horror, began blushing at the images flashing before her mind. Exasperated, she pleaded, “Can ya bake for her or not?”

Huffing, Pinkie relented. “You’re no fun!”

At this point, the day was ruined. Her crop was a lost cause, her stand had no customers, and no matter what she did, everypony kept staring at her. Her foul mood didn’t go unnoticed by her companions, but they were too jovial to pay it much heed. In an effort to bridge this gap, Rainbow gave a small smile and declared, “Your problem is that you’re treating this like a curse. You should be taking advantage!”

She swept a hoof through the air at the crowd of staring mares. “You’ve got powers like nopony could even imagine. I’d give my left wing to have powers like that!” She twitched with restrained jealousy. “And here you are, complaining and hiding away like you’ve got pony pox. Just look at them!”

Applejack looked. Everypony looked back.

“Just imagine!” Rainbow whispered, obviously trying to sound seductive. Even under the circumstances, it was surprising how unseductive it was.

With another shudder, Applejack pushed her friends away. Quite simply, she did not agree.

Reluctantly, Rainbow and Pinkie began to walk away, but Rainbow smirked suspiciously. In a faux whisper loud enough for everypony to hear, Rainbow slyly remarked to Pinkie, “I heard a secret about Applejack!”

Clearly unsure of what was going on but always happy to help with a prank, Pinkie gasped in her usual, exaggerated way.

“Wanna know what it is?”

Pinkie nodded excitedly.

Rainbow leaned in, as if telling a closely guarded secret. Her voice only became louder, though. “I heard she prefers the fairer sex, if you know what I mean.”

The pair galloped off, giggling to each other.

Their laughter was the only sound, their hoofbeats the only movement. What had been a bustling, busy day only a moment before had now completely frozen. Nopony twitched. Nopony even breathed.

Everypony stared at Applejack.

“Heh… heh…”

In the periphery of her vision, a caramel-colored mare with a forest-green mane fainted, hitting the cobblestone with a soft thud. Those around the fallen pony glanced at her for only an instant, before returning their gazes to Applejack.

“Well, y’know… rumors… heh… heh… never can trust ’em…”

Slowly, pensively, and even a bit sadly, the crowd tore their attentions away from Applejack, returning to the business of the day.

All except for one.

Why, Applejack begged, did it have to be Fluttershy? It would be nearly impossible to be mad at Fluttershy.

“You know, Applejack,” she murmured from her customary hiding place behind her long pink bangs, “if you did… I mean, if you are, um… we would all support you. Everypony just wants you to be happy.” She pulled even further into her mane, hiding her face. “N–no matter who you love.”

It seemed so damnably sincere. Ever kind, ever gentle.

Applejack had never been more terrified of Fluttershy in all her life.

With a muttered “thanks”, she began packing up what remained of her precious apples and their baskets. Even though it was far from the end of the market day, she felt oddly tired, and was desperate to end the terrible day, get away from everypony, and get back to the comfortable embrace of her bed. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to say something more, but Applejack made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to hear it.

As was her usual routine, she closed the cart with a powerful buck. She strapped herself into its harness and began her walk home.

One of the cart’s wheels had been cracked during the day’s events, and jerked painfully at the axel and harness with each rotation. It seemed like the perfect end to a downright miserable day.

As each bounce of the cart pulled uncomfortably at her back, she was greeted again by smiling faces. She tried not to look up, and for a few blocks of backbreaking travel, that worked.

“Woah there, Applejack, you’re gonna hurt yourself like that. I can fix that wheel in a jiff for ya.” She recognized the speaker as Sturdy Foundation, a pale blue earth pony who worked in construction, and had helped Applejack put up barns in the past.

A mare.

“Uh, thanks, but–”

“It’s no problem at all, happy to help!” She didn’t give Applejack a chance to argue before she brought the cart to a resounding halt and pulled a jack from her toolbelt. “Won’t take more than a few minutes. I’ve got a couple spares that should be about the right size.” Pulling the cart to the side of the road, she dragged Applejack into her simple, but undeniably sturdy, ranch-style home, pushing her unwilling guest through the front door. “You just get comfortable, I’ll come get ya when it’s fixed.” The door slammed.

Applejack was too exhausted to complain. She plodded into the main room, a living area with a plush-looking red couch next to a simple mahogany coffee table. At one end was an elegant fireplace and mantle, engraved masterfully in intricate patterns. It occurred to her that Sturdy must have built all of this, an impressive feat for any pony. At each corner of the fireplace there was an embossed engraving, stylistically distinct from the rest of the mantle, of three apples.

In panic, her pupils shrank to pinpoints. She blinked and squinted. Everything was so blurry. She was exhausted nearly to the point of collapse, yet she couldn’t pull her attention away. Desperately, she tried to convince herself that they were just circles.

Surely just circles.

Surely just…

“Applejack, how are you feeling?” It wasn’t Sturdy’s voice, but she couldn’t immediately identify it. She was too tired to look up, anyway.

“Mah back’s killin’ me.” She wasn’t sure why she was being so direct. Usually she would have been content to simply say “Fine.”

A pair of hooves gently guided her to the couch. She collapsed onto it, not so much from compliance as from overwhelming weariness. To her relief, the hooves simply rubbed the kinks out of her back, and nothing more. They were firm but gentle, careful and methodical. Accompanying them was a puzzling sensation of rhythmic pumps of wind over her back and the feeling of another pony’s mane at her side.

She tensed up and turned herself, craning her neck to see the pony behind her. Fluttershy gave a demure smile, her hooves gently probing Applejack’s back.

“Fluttershy, what’re you doin’ in Sturdy’s–”

“Shhhh,” Fluttershy shushed her. “Just relax.”

For all her woes, it really was quite relaxing. She turned back around and lay flat, thinking over her train wreck of a day. From waking up in the morning to that very moment, almost everything had gone wrong. But one thing stuck out to her: Rainbow Dash was right. If she just hadn’t treated this odd condition like a curse, everything would have gone fine. This unexpected back massage was just proof that she had been making her own disasters.

When she looked at it that way, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh!” Fluttershy stopped. “I’m sorry, did that tickle?”

“No, no, Ah–”

Fluttershy’s voice became deeper, softer, almost seductive. “How about this?”

It certainly didn’t tickle…

Author's Note

Hello, ponies! Clavier here, but first, Fluttershy!

:yay: “Hello everypony! I’ve been asked to make an announcement.”

:fluttershysad: “Um… I’m sorry about it, though… I think you’re all very nice ponies, but we had a vote…”

:fluttershyouch: “A–anyway…”

:flutterrage: “Anypony who believed that the end of chapter one was not a dream is hereby disinvited to the after-meeting sex romp!”

:fluttershyouch: “S–sorry… we just thought it might be going to your heads…”

Thank you, Fluttershy. I’m sure they understand.

Now, I’d like to thank you all. We always hope our stories will do well, but I wasn’t prepared for this! Wow, thank you so much! I can only hope to live up to the hype. You guys give me warm fuzzy feelings.

Anyway, please feel free to leave comments. I love to hear your comments, almost as much as I love Applejack! Err, shoot, did she hear me say that?

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie and Mr Snowpony

3: Just a Kiss

Applejack Anonymous

a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 3

Just a Kiss

“Fluttershy…”

She blinked. The world slowly twirled into focus. She was still in Sturdy’s house, quite comfortably lounging on the couch. A simple brown quilt she hadn’t seen before had at some point been laid on top of her. And Fluttershy was gone.

… Fluttershy?

She bolted to an upright position, barely stopping herself from yelling out. Twirling, she tried to remember what had happened; why was she still here, why wasn’t she at home? Her eyes locked on the ornamental fireplace at the far end of the room.

It was still blurry, still a haze. She squinted and focused carefully on it as it slowly became crisp in her vision.

There was nothing remarkable at the corners. There were certainly no apples carved into it.

Another dream.

She breathed a sigh of relief, but it was only momentary. These awkward dreams were giving her a headache, and that was exacerbated by the sound of hoofsteps from another room. A door opened, and Sturdy Foundation peeked her head in.

“Hi, Applejack. Sorry for the surprise! You must’ve been mighty tired when you came in here; by the time I finished with your wheel, you were asleep.”

She shook her head. “Uh, thanks. Ah’ll just be goin’ then.”

Sturdy burst through the door. “Oh no you don’t! It’s the middle of the night, and you’re my guest now! You can sleep in here.” She indicated to her bedroom with a hoof.

Applejack’s first reaction was terror. Then for a moment she considered Rainbow Dash’s suggestion: Could she use this situation as a blessing? Here was a strong, fit mare suggesting that she–

Her thoughts careened into a brick wall. That shock manifested as action, and she bolted from the house before Sturdy had a chance to react. Faster than she ever had before, Applejack reattached the harness to her apple cart and took off into the night.

OK, Applejack, it’s not what you think. Although she’s probably pretty mad at you now. Dang it, now you’re gonna have to go apologize to her… so long as you stay out of her house when you do. Of course, you were probably just imagining things…

She pushed all her energy into her run. The cart glided smoothly along behind her; Sturdy had obviously done more than just replace one wheel. Darn, now you have to apologize to her and thank her. Still, she pumped her legs harder, driven by fear. Mostly fear of herself, and of her mind and her dreams.

The houses whizzed by, soon replaced by trees whizzing by at the same fervent pace. She arrived at her homestead in record time, albeit at a record expense to her muscles. She locked away the cart and walked, now at a reasonable speed, to the door of the house proper. Fearing waking her family, she opened it slowly.

Big Macintosh sat at the kitchen table, nursing a mug of cider. When she nervously poked her head through the front door, he gave her a look.

He could communicate a lot through looks. This look said, “Just where have you been?”

She narrowed her eyes, in no mood for his judgment. “Ah’m a big pony now, Ah can get home whenever Ah like.”

For a moment he furrowed his brow, but then a smirk slowly worked its way onto his lips.

“ ’tain’t nothin’ like that!”

He was clearly unconvinced.

She shook her head. “If Ah ever start babblin’ about settlin’ down again, promise me you’ll smack me right ’cross the jaw.”

His smirk twisted into an unreadable expression, but she didn’t stay around to see it. She was already most of the way up the stairs before he had a chance to speak, so he shrugged and headed to bed himself.

That was the last time he brought it up. For the next five days, he just let Applejack have her space; she carefully shirked all work that involved going into town, opting instead to focus on a new cultivar of apples that the family had only recently started growing. That was the hardest job on the farm, and Big Macintosh made no protest of leaving it to her, dragging the apple cart to town and back himself. That task was made even simpler by the fact that the apple cart had become mysteriously easier to haul.

Applejack made the excuse that she was preparing for the upcoming town fair. Of course, she had no intention of going, but she planned to think of an excuse for that when the time came. Until then, she would prepare the apples and try not to think too hard about missing the first fair in years.

She enjoyed the solitude. Usually she liked being around her friends, but this week, she had enough of them in her dreams…

⁂

“You know what’s even more fun than having you put on dresses, Applejack?”

Applejack dreaded to know the answer, but had no real choice other than to play along. Rarity had her strung up in garments she didn’t even recognize, and she couldn’t escape. “What’s that?”

Without warning, the stockings she’d been forced into constricted, dragging her legs together. She tumbled off the small stand she had been placed upon to model, landing on the soft carpet below. From her restrained position on the ground, she looked up at Rarity in horror. The couturier flashed a villainous smile.

“Taking them off.”

⁂

“Hrrrng! I just can’t quite reach this book! Spike? Spike!”

“Uhh, why don’t ya just use magic.”

Twilight sighed, putting a hoof to her horn while the other three maintained her precarious balance on the ladder. “The doctor says my horn flu won’t completely go away for another three days… it’s really frustrating.” Her reddened nose twitched and she put her other front hoof in front of her mouth, to block the sneeze and avoid damaging books. That hoof was, of course, all that was maintaining her balance on the ladder.

With a twist in the air and a yelp, she tumbled directly onto Applejack, knocking them both to the floor.

“Oof!”

“Oh, sorry, Applejack… I just lost my… balance…”

In spite of that, she made no attempt to regain her balance, or even get up. If anything, she only got closer.

“Uh… Twi?”

“Without my magic, I feel so… naked…”

Applejack tried to pull away, but could only push herself further into the floor. “Twilight…”

“I need somepony…”

“Not me, Twi…”

“Somepony to hold me, to protect me…”

⁂

“Ah–Ah’m sorry, Fluttershy! Ah didn’t mean t–”

“You could’ve killed her! Poor little thing, how was she supposed to know you were threshing that field today?”

“Ah don’t know, it was an accident! She… she’s gonna be OK, right?”

Fluttershy scowled. She was truly terrifying when she was angry. “She’s going to be fine, no thanks to you.”

“Ah… Ah got her here as quick as Ah could!”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. Applejack reeled in horror.

The Stare. Nopony could endure The Stare.

“You’re going to have to be punished for this, Applejack.”

“Wh–where did that whip come from… Y–ya didn’t have that before…”

⁂

“There ain’t no ropes in the world Ah can’t get out of!”

As if accepting her challenge, the ropes binding her legs to the ground began to glow magenta, and lost every bit of slack they’d had.

“Aw fiddlesticks.”

⁂

By the time Tuesday finally rolled around, Applejack was in bad shape, both from overexerting herself on the farm and from severe sleep deprivation. All she wanted to do was to take a day off to lie in bed and rejuvenate.

But it was Tuesday. And she was curious.

After a few final touches on the fair stand, advertising their newest cultivar, she headed into town. As they had been the last week, the streets were barren. Walking through a ghost town was an unusual experience, even if she knew full well that the town wasn’t really abandoned.

It’s easy to go through life with no real notion of silence. When not surrounded by the sounds of nature, one is surrounded by the sounds of civilization, and when civilization is not present, nature assuredly is. True silence—the total lack of all noise, be it the chatting of friends, the hawking of wares or the chattering of birds—is maddening.

Almost as maddening as knowing why Ponyville was so silent in the first place.

Still, in a way it was relaxing. It had been five days of tending trees nonstop, so anything that kept her a bit less sweaty—or at least, less sweaty from physical exhaustion—was a welcome reprieve.

Applejack arrived on the campus of the West Ponyville Institute of Geology and Mining near noon, by the reckoning of her antagonistic stomach. Pushing that feeling aside, she wound her way through the campus, quickly remembering where the meeting was taking place. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were already there.

“Oh, hi–”

“Shhhh!” Pinkie hushed her, captivated by the events of the meeting. She pushed a red-and-white striped bag full of buttered popcorn towards Applejack, but didn’t look away from the window. Eagerly, Applejack grabbed the bag and joined in.

Inside, Fluttershy stood at the podium, ushering away a very self-satisfied-looking Cherry Berry.

“Well, um, thank you, Cherry Berry…” Fluttershy’s meek tones carried no small amount of embarrassment with them. “I’m not really sure, um, given the nature of our group, whether a youth division would be… well, appropriate, but I’ll write down a note to vote on it at the next meeting.”

She mimed writing, although it was quite clear that she had no intention of putting any words to page. It was far from a convincing performance, but Cherry Berry couldn’t have seen it anyway, as she was facing the opposite direction while walking back to her seat.

“Now, before lunch, we have one major order of business.” Fluttershy cleared her throat, a wide smile slowly sneaking onto her muzzle. “As many of you know, I’ve been the president of our little group since… well, since Bon Bon and I founded it! And every time I tried to elect somepony else, you all voted for me”—her voice sank—“and every time I tried to make a law that allows the president to abdicate, you voted it down”—from outside she was now barely audible—“and every time I begged you to make somepony else president, you wouldn’t do it and she only got one vote… Mine…”

Her concentration drifted for a moment, but she soon snapped back to her happy demeanor. “But I’m overjoyed to announce that at last week’s impromptu election, you finally voted for a new president! Who isn’t me!”

Most of the audience just chuckled at this, exchanging conspiratorial looks.

“So, without further ado, please welcome our new president, Twilight Sparkle!”

All eyes focused on Twilight. She froze, eyes wide, mouth agape, staring at the stage.

“Oh, um… I’m sorry, Twilight, but like I was saying, we don’t have any bylaws that allow you to refuse office.”

“B–but I just joined last week! I don’t even know what the president does!” She began to tremble, bouncing nervously on her hooves. “I… I don’t have a checklist for that!”

“Well, if you really don’t want to do it”—Fluttershy’s voice almost vanished entirely—“I guess we could have another vote and they’d probably elect me again…”

Applejack knew full well that as meek as Fluttershy could be, it was effectively impossible to say “no” to her. Twilight was certainly powerless to refuse. “Well, I guess I can try…”

Fluttershy perked up in an instant, and she joyously escorted Twilight to the front. “I promise you’ll love it! I’ve already made the schedule for today and the next two meetings, so you just need to…” Her voice died away as she chatted in private with Twilight. The audience broke for a rather informal lunch in the meeting room, and Applejack turned to her friends.

“Am Ah hearin’ things, or is this little club that organized? It has a president? It has bylaws?”

Rainbow just shrugged at her, still chewing a mouthful of popcorn.

“Uh… where’s Pinkie?”

“Oh my gosh, that looks so delicious!” Pinkie’s voice from the meeting room made it immediately obvious where she was. “You always make the best sandwiches, Rose!”

Pinkie wandered from table to table, sampling the wide array of food without a care to the fact that she didn’t belong there. “Oooh, is this an authentic Sweet Apple Acres apple?” she inquired obliviously at one table. “It’s sort of like having a piece of Applejack right here with us, isn’t it!” Laughing at her own comment, she slowly twisted her head until she was looking directly at Applejack, making it clear that anypony could see her if they just looked that way.

Applejack ducked into the bushes, and used the cover to sneak out of view. Rainbow Dash followed her until they were nearly a block away, easily out of earshot of the group.

“I’m telling you,” Rainbow whined, “your only problem is your attitude. If I were in your horseshoes, I’d be having fun with this! Heck, even you’ve gotta have something to gain, surely the mare of your dreams is–” She stopped, suddenly introspective. “Wait, do you even like mares?”

Applejack stared at her hooves. “Look, to be honest Ah ain’t sure any more, but Ah don’t think this is the best way to find out.”

Rainbow scoffed. “And going crazy is?”

“Ah don’t know, maybe it is!” For a moment, Applejack just furrowed her brow and affected an expression somewhere between bemusement and frustration. She muttered, to herself but loud enough for Rainbow to hear, “What is it that Granny Smith used to say…”

“When the world’s gone crazy, don’t worry and fret…”

“… just go crazy along with the world.”

⁂

“A kissin’ booth?!”

Applejack chuckled at her brother’s utter bewilderment. “Yup. Somethin’ tells me Ah can make a bundle o’ bits that way.”

“What about the apple stand?”

She waved a hoof in the air nonchalantly. “You can run the stand just fine without me, and with both of us runnin’ our own, even with three quarters goin’ to the orphanage, we’ll make off like bandits!”

Big Macintosh studied her expression carefully for a few seconds. By great willpower, her demeanor didn’t waiver in the slightest. Finally, he relented. “Well, if ya think it’s a good idea…”

“Ah do! Now come on, let’s get goin’!”

Applejack’s booth was simple and sparsely decorated, and pulling it was a trivial matter. And frankly, she was excited to get to the fair and set up. As they walked, she babbled to her brother about how much fun the fair always was, and how she had a feeling that this year was going to be more fun than ever. Ultimately, though, she felt guilty for making him participate in this farce without explaining it.

“Look, Big Mac, the fact is, there’s somethin’ real weird goin’ on in this town, and somehow Ah’m smack-dab in the middle of it.”

Big Macintosh, dragging a much heavier load, was by this point well out of earshot, so Applejack was really just talking to the open air. She, of course, didn’t notice this.

“Y’see, Ah’m not exactly running a kissin’ booth just ’cause Ah think it’ll be fun…”

It was a brilliant plan, as far as she was concerned. Push everypony over the edge, and one of them would be bound to admit something. Once one confessed, the others would fall like dominoes. And once everything was out in the open, her life would be at least a little bit simpler. More complicated than before she ever discovered their little group, sure, but a lot simpler than it was with all the secrets hanging about.

She had just finished explaining this to her brother when she arrived at the gate to the field where the fair was to be held, and turned around to get his opinion. After a second, she put a hoof to her head.

“Maybe if ya talked more, ponies’d notice when you weren’t there.”

Still, this was no time for finding wayward family members. Without him there to talk her out of it, all she could do was continue; she had a plan to enact, and a town full of lustful mares to torment.

It was still early in the morning, and the fair had not yet started. She was ushered through to her spot by a stallion, though he seemed more occupied with hollering instructions to the other workers preparing the grounds than with leading her.

“Is there gonna be enough room for a line here?”

He gave her a confused glance.

“Well, Ah don’t want to block off any o’ the other stands is all.”

Looking around at the empty field, he chuckled lightly. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” With that, he went back to helping other ponies with their stands, and Applejack set up her own, though there wasn’t much to set up.

Slowly, the field filled with stands and stages, tents and booths, and the hustle and bustle of ponies getting prepared. When Big Macintosh finally arrived at the fairgrounds with the apple stand filled to the brim with all manner of apple treats, he gave Applejack an unhappy glance, but passed by without a word.

At nine o’clock, a bell sounded, and ponies began to file in. They spread through the grounds, oohing and aahing at all of the many activities available to them. And one by one, they noticed Applejack’s booth.

For most, the reaction was the same. They stared, eyes wide and mouth agape. Soon they would realize they were staring and become suddenly interested in the most mundane aspects of life, such as whether their hooves had been properly groomed that morning or just what shade of cerulean the sky would be for the fair. After realizing that that was even worse than staring, they’d look back again, give an uncomfortable smile, and move on.

Having opted for insanity, Applejack enjoyed this to no end. She waved and grinned, and mares blushed and hid their faces. And for the first twenty minutes or so, that was all.

That didn’t last long. Ponies gathered in collective stupefaction at the opportunity, examining the booth, its sign, and most of all, Applejack. There wasn’t a line at first, just a not-very-inconspicuous ring of mares trying not to look like a not-very-inconspicuous ring of mares. They dawdled and chatted amongst themselves, but none breached the imaginary barrier they’d formed around the stand.

Now Applejack was getting concerned. Whatever else she’d hoped to accomplish, she was sure she would get some bits out of this, and being awkwardly stared at does not earn bits. It was a hot day, she was stuck in a hot booth sweating through the brim of her hot hat, and she didn’t even have anything to show for it. She needed some mare to break the ice.

“Ooooooh!”

The mysterious yellow legs from a week prior gained a face.

“Well hello there, Candy Mane,” Applejack casually greeted her would-be debaucher.

“A kissing booth, that’s so clever!”

“What can Ah say,” she replied with a small grin, “you inspired me.”

“How m–”

Candy Mane toppled to the ground, struck by a blue comet. Rainbow Dash didn’t even take heed of her collateral damage before crying out, “A kissing booth?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

This situation was no more confusing than the rest of Applejack’s life at the time, so she shrugged it off. “Didn’t think ya’d mind.”

“Mind? Mind?!” Rainbow seethed, but immediately cooled down. “How much?”

“One bit. Seventy-five cents to charity, twenty-five to the farm.”

“Tongue?”

“Uhh, no, just–”

“Two bits for tongue!”

“Ah didn’t say– mmmf!”

Rainbow was never known for being shy, and she was no more shy here than anywhere else. She not only forced her own tongue into Applejack’s mouth, but also managed to coax Applejack’s tongue into hers. When the initial shock faded, Applejack allowed herself to get lost in the moment.

She liked it. It didn’t exactly feel right, but it certainly didn’t feel wrong, and it did feel… good. Rainbow was hardly restrained, and her probing tongue tickled the roof of Applejack’s mouth, but even that wasn’t bad per se.

Although Rainbow could probably have stood to brush her teeth more thoroughly.

Soon Rainbow pulled away, stammering. “W–wow! You’re gonna get tons of bits today, I guarantee it!” She leaned in close, lowering her voice. “And when everypony figures out why you’re doing this, we’ll all have a good laugh.”

“Aw, shucks. Thanks, Dash… Ah think. But don’t go tellin’ ponies that it’s two bits–”

“Two bits for tongue!” Rainbow trotted away, still with an almost impossibly wide grin. “What a deal!”

Applejack shook her head but stood her ground, while Candy Mane, having picked herself up and dusted herself off, deposited two bits and gave a sly wink. It seemed that Applejack’s price was set.

With Rainbow and Candy breaking the ice, ponies did indeed start to line up. With the exception of a brief lunch at the apple cart, Applejack’s schedule was filled. She was surprised—and relieved—to have a fair share of stallion customers, but none of them were especially compelling. Contrary to her plan, none of the mares mentioned anything or suggested that they might suspect what she knew.

There was a complication she hadn’t thought of. Although Apple Bloom—passing by with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle as a mass of giggles—didn’t seem to take much heed of the implications of her booth, Granny Smith gave her an odd look. Her mouth went dry and she had to take a short break. “That’ll be an uncomfortable conversation…”

Regrettably, with her attention constantly occupied, she didn’t even get a moment to try the other food or play the carnival games. As the afternoon dragged on, she saw that her bit bucket was filling faster than she’d ever seen, so she decided not to complain about missing out on some other fun.

Pulling away from a one-bit customer, she corrected herself. No. Not missing out on some other fun. Missing out on some fun. This wasn’t supposed to be fun.

“Next!”

“Oh, hi, Applejack,” Twilight greeted her friend cheerily, “what’s–”

Reading the sign, her face started glowing. “Y–you… kissing booth?”

Applejack just nodded with an innocent smile.

“I, um,” she spluttered nervously, “I just joined the line because I figured with a line that long it had to be good.”

“And Ah’m no good?” Applejack’s faux pout would have melted the heart of any mare; Twilight certainly didn’t have a chance.

“N–no, it’s not that, it’s just…!” Twilight responded defensively, still blushing furiously. She opened her mouth a few more times, but when she finally spoke she was nearly inaudible. “W–well, it’s for charity, right? How much?”

“One bit. Seventy-five cents to the orphanage, twenty-five cents to the farm.”

A voice from the line eagerly added, “Two bits for tongue!”

Twilight stared at her coin purse, as if its contents were suddenly foreign to her. She poked a few coins aside, looked back up at Applejack, blushed again, and looked back down. After repeating this procedure several times, with the next mare in line tapping her hoof impatiently, she smiled in meek resolve, coins in hoof.

She deposited two bits.

There was no magic in the kiss. In fact, there was nothing extraordinary about it whatsoever. Twilight was sheepish and subdued, but the curl of her lips pressing against Applejack’s betrayed her enjoyment of it. Knowing better of the situation, Applejack didn’t restrain herself at all; she watched Twilight’s cheeks glow with every new sensation.

With Rainbow and most of the others it had been more than a little bit awkward. But something about Twilight’s poorly-hidden affection made it… fun. Even playful. Applejack felt like a filly again.

⁂

“Whoo-ee! My mouth is numb!”

Big Macintosh arrived at the booth at the end of the day with a smug look on his face. That quickly vanished when he saw Applejack’s haul. The three buckets full of bits left him completely speechless—even more so than usual. Rainbow arrived shortly after him, clearly amused by this state of affairs.

“Hey, looks like you made quite a haul! So what’d Twilight say when she figured it out?”

Applejack’s levity vanished in an instant. Somehow in all her fun, she’d forgotten that there was supposed to be method to her madness. Nopony had shown even an inkling of suspicion, and certainly nopony knew that she knew about their group. Worse yet, after this stunt, she couldn’t just tell them she knew. Then they’d all make wild assumptions about what the kissing booth was really for.

“Uh… she didn’t figure it out.”

“What? That egghead?” Rainbow was more amused than shocked. “Guess she wasn’t thinkin’ with her head, if you know what I mean. So who figured it out? Fluttershy?”

“Didn’t see her…”

“Rarity?”

“Nope…”

“Uh… Candy?”

Applejack simply pursed her lips and slowly shook her head.

Shaking her head at the skies, as if even the air had cursed her friend, Rainbow asked a question to which she already knew the answer. “Did anypony figure it out?”

“Nope.”

“Uh, AJ,” Big Macintosh interrupted, “just what is everypony supposed to have figured out?”

Both mares had forgotten that he was there, silently watching with arched eyebrows. Now remembering him, Applejack turned stark white with embarrassment, and Rainbow burst out laughing at the whole situation.

“It’s… a long story, Big Mac.”

As it turned out, it wasn’t an especially long story. She told her brother about going into town on a Tuesday, finding the group, and watching how everypony acted around her. Rainbow filled in the particularly juicy details. Applejack neglected to mention her dreams to either of them. When she finished explaining her plan for the kissing booth, and how it hadn’t panned out like she expected, she couldn’t look Big Macintosh in the eyes. The whole situation was just too absurd.

He stared at them for a while, with narrowed eyes darting between them. When neither faltered from his expression alone, he began to press them. “So… almost every mare in Ponyville?”

Both nodded.

“All yer friends?”

“Well, except for Rainbow here and Pinkie Pie.”

“And Bon Bon and Lyra too?”

“Yup.”

He blinked, momentarily speechless. “Sounds to me like you could use some hard cider.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

Somehow they managed to laugh it off and walked back home together without mentioning it again. Applejack offered to pull the apple cart this time, since Big Macintosh had pulled it out, and Big Macintosh agreed. Pulling the apple cart was quite easy as it was now completely empty. The kissing booth, contrarily, was now full of bits and considerably heavier. Still, he said not one word against hauling it himself.

They arrived at home and put away their carts, then sat at the supper table to discuss the events of the day. The conversation was a bit slow, as Big Macintosh remained silent, nodding or shaking his head as his only response, while Applejack skirted the more interesting details, being somewhat too embarrassed to talk about them. It wasn’t long, however, before that reluctance vanished along with several mugs of hard apple cider.

“Ah think Rainbow Dash must’ve been the worst kisser of the lot!”

Big Macintosh laughed along with her rambling story.

“Ah swear it’s like she never kissed a mare before in her life!”

He rolled his eyes, taking another sip himself. He was still nursing his first glass, while Applejack was on her sixth.

“But at least she paid! Some of them mares thought they’d get away with a freebie.”

Big Macintosh leaned his chin into his hoof, giving Applejack a playful stare. “Who’s the best?”

Applejack blinked and leaned back, allowing the alcohol to slosh around her brain before staring at the ceiling for a few seconds, deep in addled thought.

“Y’know what, Big Mac?” She leaned in, shakily balancing herself on one hoof on the table. “Ah think the best of the lot was–”

Her hoof slipped, and after a quick yelp in surprise, she found the hard table to be more comfortable than she’d expected. She smiled lazily before shutting her eyes to Big Macintosh’s concerned face, letting her snores be the only answer to his query.

Author's Note

Oh Twilight, you lovable rapscallion, changing continuity in ways that aren’t fully elucidated before the interseason break.

… so yeah, this story includes a pre-3x13 Twilight. Just in case you were wondering why she didn’t simply fly in that dream sequence or something.

(Pointless spoiler tag ahoy!)

EDIT: I forgot to mention as I always do, I love your comments! Comments are always my favorite form of feedback, so keep ’em coming.

… not that I have anything against likes and faves! :pinkiecrazy:

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie and Mr Snowpony

4: The Truth Will Set You Fettered

Applejack Anonymous

a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 4

The Truth Will Set You Fettered

“With a vote of six hundred seventy three to two, the motion to… create… a youth division… is rejected.” Twilight gave a sympathetic look to the two standing audience members, but it did little to conceal her mortification.

“Now, on to the next item on our agenda,” Twilight hastily continued, shuffling papers on the podium. “Bon Bon and Lyra have offered to give a talk: ‘Coping and Moving On with Your Life’. And I think after the fair, we all could use it!” She chuckled nervously, brow furrowed, while the couple took her place on the stage. Bon Bon smiled at the crowd. Lyra mostly smiled at Bon Bon.

Applejack pulled away from the window, shaking her head. “This is just plain silly.”

“Yeah,” Pinkie agreed, nodding and speaking through a mouth full of cotton candy, “but I like silly!”

“And just how would ya react if it were your group and not mine?” she huffed.

“I’d probably sit here and watch them and eat cotton candy!”

Applejack shook her head and turned her attention back to the meeting in progress.

“What you have to realize,” Lyra was explaining, “is that the whole notion that there’s one pony meant for you is wrong. Wrong! If you pine away for that one special somepony, whether that’s Applejack or anypony else, you’re never going to be happy.”

Bon Bon nodded. “There’s a lot of joy and love to be found in the world; if you find somepony who makes you feel that, then don’t worry about what could have been, just take what you can get!”

Lyra glared daggers at her wife. “Bonnie! That’s… that’s a terrible way of putting it!”

“Aw, don’t get jealous, you know I love you!”

They nuzzled, giving each other knowing smiles, then turned back to the group.

“Y’see, Lyra and I both know this isn’t perfect.”

“Bon Bon!”

“Kidding, kidding!”

They continued teasing each other while Applejack fidgeted at the window. She was in awe of how a couple could be so comfortable, so perfect for each other, and yet still be in such an incomprehensible group, telling others how they got over her. As convoluted as the situation was, she was slightly jealous of what they had.

What she might have had.

Applejack shook her head perplexedly. “Ah just don’t get how they can talk like that.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Pinkie mumbled, still watching the pair inside. “They seem pretty happy to me.”

“Sure they–” Applejack stopped abruptly, noticing that something was missing. “Pinkie, where’s Rainbow Dash?”

Pinkie simply pointed a hoof towards the crowd inside.

Sure enough, to Applejack’s horror, Rainbow was in the group, looking rather bored at the meandering speech. “How the heck did Ah miss her…”

Pinkie giggled. “She’s pretty easy to spot!”

“But… with her in there… and me out here…”

“I’m sure she won’t tell anypony,” Pinkie reassured, “but when are you going to tell everypony?”

“Ah… Ah don’t know.” She shook her head. “When Ah’m ready. It’s drivin’ me crazy, though.”

Pinkie pouted, but didn’t say any more, taking an enormous and oddly savage bite of cotton candy instead. Applejack turned back to the window.

Everypony was clapping, and Twilight had returned to the stage, where Bon Bon and Lyra both wore wide smiles.

“Thank you so much, Bon Bon and Lyra. Does anypony have any questions for them?”

Some members of the crowd whispered quietly amongst themselves, but none raised a hoof.

“Well, if nopony else does, I have one.” She paused. The corners of her lips drooped slightly, and her gaze drifted from the couple to the floor. “Do… do you ever really get over her?”

The crowd fell completely silent. Bon Bon and Lyra’s smiles vanished, replaced by small, furtive frowns. Lyra opened her mouth a few times, but each time closed it again without a word. Bon Bon muttered something inaudible, stopped, then started again.

“Well… I don’t want you to get the wrong idea… I’m very happy with Lyra. Happier than I’ve ever been! But…”

Lyra chimed in. “Bon Bon and I are very committed to each other, but that doesn’t mean we live in a dream world. What’s important is that regardless of how we feel about anypony else, we love each other.”

“Yeah! But hey, if Applejack wanted to join us, I sure wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers!”

The mood lifted and the crowd laughed at Bon Bon’s typically lewd comment, while Lyra just rolled her eyes and shook her head. Twilight joined in the laughter, but her smile was hollow. With nopony else volunteering questions, she led them in another small applause, and ushered the couple off the stage.

She pulled a paper out of a large pile on the podium, apparently remembering its particular position by instinct alone, and scanned it briefly. A quill rose from a nearby desk in a magical glow, dipped itself in ink, and made a sweeping checkmark over the paper. With a satisfied smile, she began to announce the next item.

“Next on today’s agenda is the introduction of a new mem–” She blinked at the paper, then looked back and forth between it and the crowd, before focusing her gaze on the telltale colorful mane. “ Rainbow Dash! I… um, to be honest, I’m shocked you weren’t already a member…”

Rainbow stood, chuckling, and flew lazily up to the stage.

“Well, I’m sure you don’t need to introduce yourself,” Twilight offered, “but why don’t you go ahead anyway.”

Rainbow’s smile turned crooked. “Well, everypony knows me! But really, I’m just here because I’ve arranged a very special guest speaker.”

“Oh, that’s– what?!” A flurry of papers flew up as Twilight tore through them in a panic. “That’s not on the schedule!”

“You worry too much,” Rainbow replied, coaxing Twilight out from behind the podium with a gentle nudge. “Come on, I promise you won’t regret it!”

Twilight looked pleadingly across the audience for a moment, but ultimately sighed and stepped aside. “Well, OK, I guess we have time if we shorten afternoon tea…” She nervously scribbled on a piece of paper, adjusting timetables and shuffling schedules.

Rainbow just rolled her eyes and turned back to the crowd. She smiled and swept her eyes over the crowd, her tail twitching, clearly enjoying her typical ability to transfix an audience without a word. She waited, happily soaking in the attention for a fleeting moment, but frowned as ponies began to impatiently tap their hooves and mumble amongst themselves.

Her expression hardened.

“Pinkie! Now!”

Cocking an eyebrow, Applejack turned her head. “Pinkie?” She fell to the ground as her hind legs were pulled out from under her and bound. “Whoa! Pinkie! What the hay do you think you’re– whoa!”

She clawed at the ground, but couldn’t halt her movement as she was dragged through the soft grass towards the stage door of the auditorium. Pinkie could be quite strong when she wanted to be.

“Ya can’t do this to me, you’re throwin’ me to the wolves! You promised!”

“I promised I wouldn’t tell anypony,” Pinkie cheerfully countered through the rope in her mouth. “I never said I wouldn’t show anypony!”

“That’s dirty pool!” Applejack retorted, her own teeth clenched around a root in the ground. It came out, leaving her with only a mouth full of dirt and a fresh sapling. “Ah promise Ah’ll tell ’em, but not like this! You’re gonna kill me like this!”

In spite of Applejack’s efforts, Pinkie didn’t so much as hesitate. She skipped merrily, rope in mouth, her entrapped quarry helpless to prevent the inevitable.

“Ah’m beggin’ ya, Pinkie!”

“You’ll thank me later!”

The lasso around Applejack’s hind legs loosened, releasing her into a haphazard roll through the stage door. The door slammed behind her, and she came to a rest at the hooves of an extremely shocked Twilight Sparkle. Applejack looked up with a nervous, terrified smile.

Twilight stared back down, agape. “… Applejack?!”

The audience was deathly silent. Fluttershy, quaking nervously in the front row, looked almost ready to burst into tears. As their silence pervaded the auditorium, Applejack managed to stand, but said nothing.

Twilight continued to stare, speaking low and apprehensively. “… Applejack… I… I didn’t mean…”

With a sudden, powerful beat of her wings, Fluttershy flew to the stage, startling Applejack into taking a hasty step back. Fluttershy very nearly hugged her, but stopped and backed off. She shrunk into her mane, yammering apologies. “Oh, Applejack, I’m so sorry we kept all of this a secret from you! I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, I’m so, so, so so so sorry!”

Terrified, Applejack looked at her, then at Twilight, then over the crowd, then back again.

“It’s just that when Bon Bon and I were younger we were friends and we both kind of had a crush on you and when you told her you didn’t like mares we were so sad that we formed a little club and it got out of hoof and we never meant to keep secrets but… I’m sorry!”

Applejack’s rigid stance softened, with Fluttershy’s long-winded, apologetic pleading winning her over. As the words finally caught up with her, Applejack affected a small frown.

“Ah don’t… Ah mean, Ah don’t think me n’ fillies…”

She scanned the crowd, and quickly found her old fillyhood friend. Bon Bon’s expression was subdued, far from her usual chipper attitude, and the pink locks of her mane covered her face, not unlike Fluttershy’s. She stared up at Applejack, with an apologetic yet almost nostalgic smile. Lyra gripped her wife tightly, leering at Applejack with feigned jealousy belied by her grin.

“Bon Bon… Bonnie…” As Fluttershy’s words caught up with Applejack, chills of shame crept up her spine. “Ah’m sorry for the way Ah treated you when we were younger. Y’all didn’t deserve that. Ah was just young and stupid.”

She shook her head and took a step towards the crowd, eyes still focused on Bon Bon. “And Ah like mares just fine, it’s just that–”

She stopped. She realized what she’d said. She realized where she was. She realized what that meant.

A sea of eyes looked up at her, growing bright one by one as they too realized the implications of her words.

“Whoa nelly…”

She took a step back.

The crowd, as one, took a step forward.

She turned to Rainbow.

Rainbow threw up her front hooves, offering no suggestions for escape.

She bolted for the door.

Ponies are instinctive animals, and sometimes one pony’s behavior will cause others to act by primal nature in ways that they would never otherwise behave. The instinct to pursue fleeing prey can be stronger than reason, stronger than propriety. Compounded with those most carnal of desires, it can be downright irresistible. And when it’s compounded further with the influence of mob mentality, only one outcome is possible.

The congregation, as a lively but disorganized mass, pursued.

The campus of The West Ponyville Institute of Geology and Mining was unfamiliar to Applejack, so she galloped as fast as she could for its gates, seeking the familiar cobble streets of Ponyville’s residential boroughs. Shortly after Applejack left the building, Pinkie Pie joined her, somehow keeping up even though the wild flailing of her legs could hardly be called a gallop. The crowd of ponies behind her began to fan out, as the faster ponies gained ground and the cleverer ones tried to flank her. The pegasi took to the air, making dives that brought them mere inches short of her tail.

“I’m sorry!” Pinkie cried over the hubbub. “I didn’t want this to happen! I’ll help you hide!”

Applejack just nodded in response, too busy pushing energy into her hooves to dare trying to speak. Pinkie turned, vanishing down a narrow corridor within the campus.

That did little to deter the pursuers. They were gaining on Applejack, and she was running out of steam. But every time she felt a pony’s hoof nearly catch her tail, or a pegasus’ hot breath against her mane, she managed to get a new burst of motivation and energy despite her burning lungs and searing legs.

She flew through the campus gates, which luckily served as an obstacle for many of the pegasi. The mass of ponies slowed to regroup, giving Applejack a small advantage, and she used the time to look desperately for a hiding spot.

The rows of houses offered little protection, and they were flying by too quickly for a useful analysis anyway. There was nopony to get in her way, but that was little recompense since everypony was behind her.

Shortly after she reached the edge of the town proper, leaving houses for shops and restaurants, a voice cried out from above, “Left!” Recognizing the voice as Pinkie’s, Applejack took a hard left turn down a side street. The buildings there were larger and more compact, offering more opportunities to hide, but she could still hear the others only feet behind her, hooves pounding against the cobblestone in a threatening roar.

“Right!” She skidded into an alley, almost losing her pursuers, but a cry from a cross-eyed pegasus overhead spoiled the ruse. The way was narrow, and the ground gravelly from disuse. It was both exhausting and painful, but Applejack pushed through, hoping only for an escape.

“Left!” She pulled into an even smaller alley, so narrow that it was dark from the shadows.

“No wait, right!”

It was a dead end.

She clawed frantically but fruitlessly at the stone wall. Naturally, the wall remained strong and resolute against her assault. After the moment of pointless desperation passed, she sighed and turned away from the wall. She sat, covering her eyes with her hooves, awaiting her fate.

“Well,” she mused, “Ah suppose there are worse ways to die.”

Hoofbeats approached. There was the sound of ponies gasping. She could almost feel their hooves reaching for her, but she was too afraid to look. Something touched her side, she felt tingly for a moment, and then… nothing. The air around her cooled and the noise faded away. The ground was less hard and cold. Everything had changed. Curiosity overcoming her panic, she cracked open an eye and pushed up the brim of her hat.

She was in the library. Twilight was frantically running from one corner to the other, locking every door and shuttering every window. She was surprisingly efficient, and in less than a minute she was trotting down a rather dangerous looking flight of stairs from her loft. She stopped near Applejack with a relieved sigh.

Applejack exhaled deeply and sat down, resting her weary muscles. “Whew! Thanks, Twilight, Ah thought Ah was–” She stopped, realizing the familiarity of the situation. “Wait, why did you bring me here?”

Twilight looked confused for a moment, then blushed furiously. “Oh, AJ, I’m not– I mean, I wouldn’t– I mean, not that I wouldn’t like to– n–no, not that, it’s just–”

Applejack’s laugh was forced and uncomfortable, but it was seemed to calm Twilight down nonetheless. “Thanks, Twi. You’re a good friend.”

“Yeah.” Twilight chuckled nervously, with a poorly concealed undertone of melancholy. “A good… friend.”

The pair hung on that word for a moment, neither looking at each other, before Twilight continued. “Well, you should be safe here until this blows over. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about… um, everything, I guess. I think I’m gonna go take a nap.”

She started to meander away, but Applejack stopped her. “Wait. Twilight, look… Ah don’t… Ah just wish somepony had told me, y’know?”

Twilight stopped, and turned to look at her. “Yeah. I understand, I think.”

Applejack bit her lip uncomfortably as the awkward silence grew. With great trepidation, she asked, “Can you?”

Her query was met by a look of earnest confusion.

“Can you tell me?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in terror, while Applejack’s gaze remained resolute. Twilight walked very slowly back towards Applejack, each hoofstep smaller than the last, so the journey took far longer than it should have. She stopped close enough that Applejack could feel her breath, yet she was just out of reach. She spoke very softly, yet steadfastly.

“I love you, Applejack.”

Applejack had never heard it directly before, and even though she’d already known it was true, hearing it so openly gave her reason to pause. It wasn’t crude, it wasn’t lascivious, it wasn’t even particularly audacious. It was simply a fact, stated as one, with heartfelt affection. It felt so foreign to her, almost unreal in its raw honesty.

After a moment to ponder, she asked simply, “Why?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise, and she took some time before answering. “I think,” she began, before stopping. She opened her mouth once more, but closed it again. Finally, she turned away and walked slowly, putting some space between them. Applejack frowned; it seemed less intimate, less personal. “Would you like to know what it’s like to be the bearer of the Element of Magic?”

Applejack tilted her head at the strange question. “Well, Ah suppose it’d be pretty excitin’. Ah mean, you’re kinda the most impo–”

“It’s terrible.”

Both paused while those words sunk in.

“The element you represent is a virtue. It’s the way you are because you choose to be that way, because you choose to be a good pony. It’s something you’ve earned by being the best pony you can be. But magic? It’s just a talent. A talent I was born into.”

“What? That’s crazy, it’s important!”

Twilight nodded, almost condescendingly, then continued in her depressed tone. “Yes, it’s like the glue that holds all the other elements together. But that’s just it, Applejack! Look at yourself!”

Although it had obviously been intended metaphorically, she did just that. “Ah don’t follow.”

“You bear the Element of Honesty. Ha! You’re the most honest, most loyal, most generous, most kind pony I know. Heck, you can even be funny when you want to be. You’re every Element of Harmony, all rolled into one, and you’re so modest and selfless that you don’t even know it.” Twilight’s tone suddenly sank, and she turned to stare into Applejack’s eyes. “And you don’t need some silly magic to hold it together. You’re just… perfect.

“You’re perfect. And that’s why I love you.”

Applejack’s throat tightened. She could barely speak. “Twilight…”

A bitter laugh escaped Twilight’s lips. “I’m sorry I brought you here, Applejack. I was being selfish.”

Applejack walked to Twilight’s side, put a hoof under her chin, and raised her head until their muzzles almost touched. Twilight’s eyes were misty with tears. “Come on, Twi, it ain’t like that at all. Ya rescued me.”

For a fleeting moment, the pair gazed into each other’s eyes, Applejack’s expression comforting and Twilight’s morose. Applejack moved her hoof to Twilight’s cheek, wiping away a tear, and leaned in.

With another bitter smile, Twilight pushed her away. “You see? Even now, you’re selfless. You’ve got half the town out chasing you, Applejack. You can do better than me. You deserve better than me. Don’t do this.”

“Twilight, n–”

Before Applejack had even finished the word, her body was encompassed by a bright magenta light. Before she could shut its brightness out from her eyes, it had vanished, and she was in her room at the farm. Alone.

“–o.”

Author's Note

Sorry this chapter is a bit short, but I said all that needed to be said!

… how much has season 3 changed Twilight’s character, anyway… :twilightangry2:

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie and Mr Snowpony

5: Matchmaker

Applejack Anonymous

a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 5

Matchmaker

After the incident with Twilight, Applejack cloistered herself away from Ponyville, keeping to the farm. She explained the incident to Big Macintosh, who had little to suggest but agreed to take all her Ponyville duties and leave the farm work to her.

The dreams hadn’t stopped, but they had changed in character. Nopony had indecent intent anymore. Everypony had a face, and a heart, and a history, and a soul that they would thrust into Applejack’s hooves, for her to nurture or crush at her will. She was no longer the butt of a cruel joke, but the source of ponies’—her friends’—woe. And she no longer feared them; she only feared what she might do to them, and how she could hurt them.

After all, she’d seen it with Twilight. Even while trying to be caring, Applejack had crushed the spirit of one of her closest friends.

She shook some dirt from her hooves and examined her handiwork, a sapling planted in a fresh plot near the farmhouse, though her mind was elsewhere. Although not a pony prone to allegorizing, she couldn’t help but see Twilight in the little plant. It had been uprooted from its natural soil, carried miles away to where it was foreign and alone, afraid of making roots and hence trapping itself. But if given love and attention, it would grow mighty and bear fruit, becoming a silent provider for its new family.

With a small chuckle, Applejack shook that strange line of thoughts from her head. “It’s a tree, girl, not a pony.”

That sort of thought haunted her every time she saw her friends. And so, she stayed away.

Still, she couldn’t just use her farm as an escape forever, a fact that became abundantly clear when a knock at her homestead’s door roused her from her careful planting. As there was nopony inside to answer, she quickly packed down some dirt and trotted towards the house.

Fluttershy was at the door, looking typically nervous, leaning back and forth as if she was pacing in place. Applejack’s heart melted when she saw the genuine concern evident in her visitor’s demeanor, so she did her best to be cordial in spite of her apprehension.

Setting aside her doubts about Fluttershy’s intent, Applejack approached her friend. “Howdy, Fluttershy!”

Startled, the pegasus leapt into the air with a squeal and turned away to flee, but froze at the sight of Applejack and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Uh, sorry ’bout that, Ah was out plantin’,” Applejack explained, shaking the dirt from her hooves.

Fluttershy nodded, breathing deeply and taking a few slow steps towards Applejack. Clearly too nervous for niceties, she hid behind her mane, speaking with a faint but steady voice. “Applejack… um, even though you know about our group, we can’t really stop meeting. These ponies need it. Is… is that OK with you?”

Applejack pursed her lips thoughtfully. Although the mere existence of the group still distressed her, they did lift some of the burden from her as well. “Ah guess Ah shouldn’t try to stop ya.”

“Thank you. And Applejack? Twilight has been… well, she’s seemed really sad since… the meeting.” In a rare moment of bravery, Fluttershy poked her head out from behind her mane and spoke with a bit of force. “I just wish you could have let her down easy.”

“Let her down? Fluttershy, she let me down! Said Ah was too good for her and Ah deserved better.”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide with surprise and she pushed out from behind her mane. “She did?”

“Ah feel more alone than ever, Fluttershy,” Applejack blurted out. “It’s like everypony’s scared of me!”

“What?” Fluttershy stood tall, focused fixedly on Applejack.

“It’s like Ah’m some kind of monster. Anything Ah do is gonna wind up hurtin’ somepony, so they’re pushin’ me away instead. Ah don’t want to hurt anypony, Fluttershy, but Ah can’t handle this kind of pressure all by my lonesome! Nopony’s bein’ honest or brave, and Ah just don’t know what to do!”

Fluttershy stared, lip quivering while she slowly slunk back into the protective cocoon of her hair. “B–b–b–brave?”

Applejack just shrugged, having lost her energy ranting.

After a moment of silence, Applejack felt almost smothered by the tension in the air. She looked past Fluttershy into the trees, idly wishing she hadn’t been quite so direct with her fragile companion.

Fluttershy clenched shut her eyes and, in a quick, terrified motion, gave Applejack a peck on the lips.

It was so fast, so unexpected, that Applejack could do nothing but gawk. After a fleeting second of watching Applejack’s expression, Fluttershy cringed and recoiled into the protective covering of her mane.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Applejack, I thought– I mean, I was just trying–” she stammered. “I thought you wanted– th–that is…”

Finally, she turned and flew away at a surprising pace.

“Fluttershy, wait! This–”

It was too late. She was already out of earshot.

Applejack sighed. “This is exactly what Ah was talkin’ about.”

She watched the sky as Fluttershy flew away, becoming a pink-and-yellow speck in the sky. She wanted to pursue, to try to explain the situation, but it was Tuesday morning, and so it was obvious where her unexpected visitor would be going: right into the proverbial belly of the beast.

She turned back towards the farmhouse, bumping into her brother in the process. “Big Mac!” she exclaimed, surprised.

He showed little reaction to her assault, not stumbling in the slightest, and instead stared pensively at the sky.

“… How much did you see?”

“She ain’t happy.”

Applejack turned back around. She had no hope of seeing Fluttershy in the sky by that point, but stared anyway. “No, she ain’t.”

“Don’t suppose there’s much you can do about that, is there,” Big Macintosh stated.

“Ah don’t know.”

Sighing, he turned away. “It's a shame, though.”

He returned to his silent work.

Applejack hadn’t wanted to hurt anypony, least of all Fluttershy. And none of her chores for the day were vital. Perhaps, she thought, she should check in on the group, just to make sure that Fluttershy wasn’t too hurt.

She would certainly never admit to being curious about the group. She just wanted to help her friend.

“Ah suppose Ah could just look in to make sure everything’s alright…”

Resolved, she set off for Ponyville.

Summer was ending, and the green of the leaves was slowly vanishing, giving way to winter. The weather was pleasantly warm and breezy. It was a beautiful time of year, and for many ponies a romantic time as well, which didn’t help matters for Applejack. Her route to town bringing her past Bon Bon and Lyra enjoying a private moment alone in her orchard just twisted the knife.

She continued her trot into town, and was beginning to enter the outskirts of Ponyville when her idle musing was interrupted by the crash—and quick recovery—of a pegasus beside her.

Rainbow didn’t say anything; she just picked herself up and followed at Applejack’s side, keeping pace. For nearly a minute they walked side by side, saying nothing, until Applejack couldn’t tolerate the uncomfortable silence any longer.

“Quite a prank you and Pinkie pulled, Dash.” It sounded bitter; much more bitter than she had intended for it to sound. She wasn’t really angry, just preoccupied.

Rainbow chuckled nervously. “Y’know we didn’t really mean for it to turn out like that, right?”

She seemed honest enough. Applejack nodded.

“Um, where are you going?”

“Where d’ya think Ah’m goin’?”

“Don’t you think maybe you… shouldn’t?” Rainbow asked, flying alongside with her hoof nervously rubbing the back of her neck.

“Like you’re one to talk, you’re obviously goin’ there to spy too!”

Applejack shook her head in a scolding fashion and trotted on for a few paces, before stopping, realizing that Rainbow was no longer at her side. She turned to see Rainbow turning pale, her hooves firmly planted.

“Rainbow…”

She grinned anxiously. “Err… sorry?”

“Not you too?”

She nodded sheepishly.

Applejack took a few steps back.

“Look, I didn’t mean… well, when I saw everypony in that group, I got to thinking…”

“No… no, no, no, no, no…”

“We’re always spending so much time together, and I’m always going out of my way to be with you…”

“No no no no no…”

“When you think about it, we’d be–”

Applejack didn’t want to hear any more. She fled, ignoring Rainbow’s pleas for her to wait.

To a farmer, order and normalcy are vital in life. Despite all the recent events, Rainbow had, in her own strange way, provided that normalcy. Without it, Applejack felt lost. She didn’t want to comfort Fluttershy anymore; she didn’t want to see the club at all. All she wanted was to find that normalcy again. And as far as she was concerned, there was only one bastion of such sanity left. One pony who could help her feel normal. There was only one pony she could turn to who could turn strange reality back rightways-up.

Pinkie Pie.

The world had left her seeking Pinkie Pie for mental balance.

She shuddered at her predicament, but pushed on towards Sugarcube Corner. It was near the center of town, usually a hub of activity; today, of course, the streets were barren. Getting through town was quick and easy, but still no less creepy than it had ever been. Ponyville felt alien as a ghost town.

Sugarcube Corner was one of the few open shops, so she didn’t bother knocking, bursting through the door unannounced and startling the proprietors.

“Applejack!” Mrs. Cake exclaimed. “Fancy seeing you here! We almost never get customers on Tuesdays. Anything special in mind?”

Uninterested in eating, Applejack slammed the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief. “Pinkie around?”

“Oh yes, she’s upstairs, with–”

She didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence before bolting up the stairs.

Applejack rarely found a reason to be in Pinkie’s bedroom. It was an unusual place, where the clutter seemed to transcend messiness and simply exist in a state of otherworldly harmony, like the musical dissonance preceding resolution. Applejack of course wasn’t prone to such observations, being more concerned with the immediate issue of finding the pony she was looking for; for all its splendor, the clutter did make finding Pinkie Pie herself rather a challenge.

“Pinkie? Pinkie! Where the hay are ya, sugarcube?”

Her term of endearment was met by a small smile, but not from the pony she expected.

“R–Rarity…”

Rarity cleared her throat. “Applejack,” she stated, with no hint of surprise, as if she’d been expected Applejack all along, “can we talk?” Even while being so forward, she had a slight red tint to her cheeks.

Yet again, Applejack thought, the world was mocking her. Not having any other choice, she relented to the “conversation”. She gave a pensive nod, doing her best to appear as if she was more happy than frazzled.

“Look, I know you have a lot of… well… potentials, shall we say. And if I am to be honest, I probably would not be first on your list.” Rarity stood tall, allowing her perfectly kept hair to fall naturally over her shoulders. Her horn glowed briefly, but Applejack couldn’t determine what effect it might have had. “It is, however, true what they say: Opposites attract. I think that if you–”

Applejack collapsed to the ground with a loud thud.

“… Um… Applejack?”

“Ah didn’t ask for this,” Applejack groaned.

Rarity trotted over, visibly confused. “How do you mean, dar– err, Applejack?”

“No matter what Ah do, somepony gets hurt. Everypony!” It was too much, too far. She had no safety line, and life had dragged her beyond the point where anypony could stay sane. She hid behind a large box of streamers, holding her face in her hooves and covering her eyes with the brim of her hat. “Before all this, Ah thought it’d be dandy to settle down, find somepony to be with and be happy together. But now all Ah want is to get out of this without makin’ everypony else miserable!” She let a single green eye peek out from under her brim. “You’re… sweet n’ all, but Ah just… Ah just don’t want anypony gettin’ hurt, Ah guess.”

Rarity stood silently for a moment, pursing her lips. In an explosion of confetti, Pinkie Pie burst forth from somewhere in the clutter. She joined her friends, her usual cheer not dampened in the slightest by the awkward circumstance.

“Don’t be like that, Applejack, you should just make sure you’re happy!”

Rarity nodded. “Pinkie is absolutely right.” Walking over to where Applejack still lay prone, she pushed the hat away and declared, “And I, Rarity, will help you!”

“Oh yeah?” Applejack quipped acerbically. “How?”

“I’m known as quite the matchmaker around town, you know,” she continued, ignoring the small jab. “I could find exactly the right mare for you; and how could anypony complain if you’re perfect for each other, right? Truly, all anypony wants is for you to be happy.”

Eyes narrowed, Applejack asked, “And just what are the odds that you’d find that the right pony for me… is you?”

Rarity sighed, her formerly confident poise faltering slightly. “For you, I will… remove myself from consideration.”

Applejack looked up, stunned. She tried to read Rarity’s expression, but could only find honesty and earnest fondness. “You’d do that for me?”

The unicorn grinned crookedly. “Really, what were my odds, anyway?”

“About a chick’s odds with a hawk.”

Her grin faltered slightly. “You don’t have to be so blunt…”

Applejack coughed, shuffling her hooves uncomfortably.

“Well, regardless, let’s get to it!” Rarity’s smile returned at the prospect of setting up her friend.

Applejack stood up, nervously adjusting her hat. Breaking her irregular silence, Pinkie started to spew suggestions. “Oh, this’ll be so much fun! I know everypony in town so we’ll just go one by one, starting with the ‘A’s! First up, Applejack!”

The mare in question just rolled her eyes.

“Oh, that’s right! That’s you!”

“Why don’t we just start with her close friends,” Rarity interrupted.

“Yeah! OK, let’s see… ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, ‘D’, ‘E’, ‘F’– Fluttershy!”

“OK, I suppose alphabetical is as good as anything. Applejack, why don’t you tell us how you feel about Fluttershy.”

Applejack stood dumbly. It was a strange question, made stranger by her uncomfortable encounter with the timid pegasus that morning.

Rarity nodded knowingly. “Don’t think about any of this, don’t think about the group. Don’t even think about you and Fluttershy. Just tell us about her, as a pony.”

Applejack sat on her haunches and looked around the room, trying to distract herself. She found it incredible that Rarity was even willing to be amongst the hodgepodge of strewn party goods, although she’d been known to make messes of her own. “Hey, Rarity, what’re you doin’ here anyhow?”

“No changing the subject,” she replied sweetly but firmly.

“OK, OK, Fluttershy,” Applejack huffed. “Well, uh…” She gathered her thoughts. “She’s one of the nicest ponies Ah know. And she’s real sweet, always in a good mood—at least when she’s not bein’ scared of something or other. When she manages to build up her confidence proper, she can really get things done. Like, uh, makin’ the club, Ah guess…”

Rarity lifted a hoof to stop her. “I’m hardly convinced. Let’s move on.”

Pinkie continued her unorthodox selection process. “OK! ‘F’, ‘G’, ‘H’, ‘I’, ‘J’– Jack! Applej– oops! ‘K’, ‘L’, ‘M’, ‘N’, ’O’, ‘P’. Pinkie Pie! That’s me!”

“… Do Ah have to?” Applejack inquired sourly.

“Awww,” Pinkie moped, “you don’t want to talk about me?”

“Uh…”

Applejack breathed a sigh of relief as Rarity saved her once again from responding to a question she wasn’t too keen on answering. “Perhaps we should exclude ponies present, Pinkie.”

Still moping, Pinkie moved on. “Oh fine. ‘P’, ‘Q’, ‘R’. Rainbow Dash!”

“Hm.” This one was even harder than Fluttershy. Applejack tried to step back and look at the situation objectively. “She’s kinda full of herself, but Ah guess she deserves to be. Ah mean, she is a mighty fine athlete, and she’s a darn good weather pony to boot. When she’s not busy struttin’ like a peacock, she really does want to do some good, Ah guess. And we are pretty close friends, since we have a lot of the same interests… heck, if she’d start buckin’ the trees instead of sleepin’ in ’em, I’d hire her to work on the farm.”

Rarity pursed her lips, tapping the ground in thought. “Yes, yes. We’ll call her a potential.”

A chime sounded, and Rarity and Applejack looked about, confusedly seeking the sound’s source amongst the clutter. Their gazes soon settled on an old-fashioned typewriter, which Pinkie had apparently pulled from somewhere in the clutter. She’d typed out Rainbow’s name, and was now smiling expectantly.

“Uh, sure,” Applejack deadpanned, “potential.”

Pinkie continued her enumeration. “Next up is Rarity! But she’s present too, so nyaa!” Pinkie stuck out her tongue before continuing. “ ‘R’, ‘S’, ‘T’. Twilight!”

Suddenly distracted, Applejack’s heart beat a bit faster, and the blood rose to her face. For an instant she was in the black room again, with Twilight standing over her, holding her hooves.

“Applejack?”

Twilight leaned down. Applejack closed her eyes.

“Applejack!”

“Huh, wha?”

“Twilight,” Rarity said woodenly. “Tell us about Twilight.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” She scratched behind an ear in a poor attempt to appear unfazed. “Well, let’s see.”

All she needed to do, she reasoned, was be honest. Honesty was supposed to come easy to her. This was no different.

“Twilight… Ah think Twilight doesn’t even know what a good friend she is. It’s like she’s always tryin’ so hard, she almost never sits back to just enjoy life.” She chuckled lightly, thinking about some of the times that her friend would make a mountain out of a molehill. “But y’know what? When she does… when she finally manages to relax, when things are really goin’ well for her and she’s not bein’ the busy beaver for once, she has this little smile. It’s nice to see it, ’cause otherwise she’s always so hectic that even when she smiles it seems forced. Ah guess Ah like seein’ her like that.”

Realizing she was rambling, Applejack shook her head and tried to get back on subject. “Anyway, she’s always real, uh, organized. And punctual. And smart n’ stuff.”

Rarity stared at her, mouth agape. Pinkie joined in this stare, then looked at Rarity, then her typewriter. Without even asking, she typed out Twilight’s name, and the carriage return bell ringed.

“Applejack,” Rarity breathed, barely louder than a whisper, “if you’d explained, we could have made this much simpler.”

Applejack tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow. “Explained what?”

“Well, we wouldn’t have had to go through any of this if I’d just known you’re in love with Twilight.”

Her eyes widened. “In– whoa, what?!”

“I’ve seen that look before,” Rarity hummed wistfully. “There’s no mistaking it.”

Applejack could only stammer at the supposed revelation. “Wh– Ah– Twi–”

The would-be matchmaker gasped excitedly. “You mean, you didn’t know?”

“Ah…”

Rarity and Pinkie looked at each other with a shared grin.

“Ya think…”

Rarity nodded with a demure smile, and Pinkie nodded along excitedly.

“But Ah mean…”

Rarity trotted to Applejack’s side and put a hoof to her mouth, shushing her. “Just meet us at La Maison sur le Coin at eight o’clock sharp and leave the rest to us.”

Her protests went muffled and unheard. With a roll of her eyes, she finally turned and descended the stairs. When Rarity’s mind was made up, it was foolish to try to change it.

“You’re in love with Twilight.” Rarity’s words echoed in her mind as she waved goodbye to the Cakes, slipping out the front door. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was Rarity just being her usual overly romantic self? Or was there something more?

She groaned and kicked up some dirt with her hoof. This would all be so much simpler if it weren’t for that damned club. The thought reminded her that spying on the club is why she’d left the farm in the first place that morning, so she set back to the task at hoof.

Her stomach growled angrily at her as she trotted towards the west of town. The sun was just past its zenith, cruelly reminding her both that she’d missed lunch and that she hadn’t accomplished anything on the farm. It was too late for regrets, though. She wanted to make sure that Twilight was OK.

Twilight? Her mind drifted while she plodded along. No, not Twilight, Fluttershy. It was Fluttershy she’d hurt this morning, Twilight she’d hurt last week.

“Ugh!” she cried out to nopony, frustrated. She couldn’t bear the fact that she had to enumerate broken hearts.

She arrived at the institute sooner than she had anticipated, and quickly found herself a secluded spot outside the windows. As usual, the drapes were open and she had a perfect view. Unlike usual, there was nopony else outside with her, and no distractions.

Twilight was nowhere to be seen. Rainbow was in the front row, doing a poor job of blending in with the group. Fluttershy stood at the podium, pacing nervously.

“I… I don’t know where she could be! I’m not sure what’s next on the agenda, it’s not like her to be late…” Fluttershy nervously rambled to the group, many of whom were clearly uninterested as they finished off the last morsels of a delicious-looking lunch.

There was a rustling behind Applejack, and she instinctively ducked into the bushes. Somepony bolted by, shooting past her leafy cover, and the door slammed open and shut. Hesitantly, she lifted her head to search around her before looking inside. Twilight was on the stage, looking considerably more ragged than usual.

“I’m sorry I’m late, everypony. I… I kind of assumed you didn’t want to see me.” She looked over the crowd with a shameful frown. “But then I remembered that I hadn’t left a complete schedule.”

A few ponies laughed a bit at her oh-so-characteristic reasoning.

“Look, I’m sorry I winked Applejack away, I was just afraid she’d get hurt.”

For a moment, the group was silent. Then a few groups whispered amongst themselves. Then, somepony timidly asked, “Did you do anything?”

The chatter rose. Another asked, “Did she take her hair down?”

Then another. “Did you hold her?”

“Did you kiss her?”

Quickly, the voices began competing with each other, escalating further and further into the obscene. Finally, Bon Bon yelled out a mostly-inaudible question ending in “taste like?”, and the voices melted into laughter.

Twilight stood frozen, glowing bright red while the raucousness slowly died down. Although her embarrassment was clearly near mortification, she had a small smile. That same small smile she had when all her nit-picking paid off and all was right with the world.

That adorable smile that could melt Applejack’s heart.

Applejack shook her head at the thought. “Where the heck did that come from?”

The ponies in the audience continued to mumble amongst themselves, but more quietly, the uproar spent. Their tone was not of anger, or disappointment, or even surprise. They mostly just seemed curious. And Twilight’s small smile was growing wider and prouder.

“You mean… you aren’t mad at me?”

The clamor completely stopped. Most ponies looked at the stage, visibly confused. Even Rainbow put a hoof to her head.

“Even though I took advantage–”

A shrill, cracking cry from Rainbow Dash interrupted her. “Well duh!”

Twilight’s eyes misted a bit at the acceptance of the assemblage. “I… I don’t know what to say.” Her smile faded somewhat. “Well, I suppose it probably won’t happen again anyway, so thanks for the support.”

Applejack felt a twinge. “Won’t happen again? Why not?”

She blinked. She looked at Twilight. She blinked again. She looked at herself.

She was in love with Twilight. In retrospect, it was so obvious; she was stunned that it had taken Rarity’s intervention for her to notice. And Twilight was in love with her. The club faded away. There was only Twilight, standing at the front, gazing at her hooves. Nothing else mattered. Nopony else mattered.

Rarity, who had evidently snuck into the meeting during the brouhaha, trotted confidently to the front and stood between Twilight and the crowd. She gave a sharp glare; Twilight responded with confusion.

“Let’s talk,” she said.

“OK,” Twilight responded with a small nod.

The pair departed the stage, though not before Twilight had scribbled an updated schedule for Fluttershy. Applejack took the moment to depart as well, making sure to keep out of sight as the two approached the door.

Most of the day still stood between Applejack and her eight o’clock date, so she headed directly back to the farm in hopes of salvaging the remainder of the day’s work. Chased by her wild imaginings, it was a quick trot home. She set to the task that had been interrupted in the morning: tending to a row of freshly planted saplings.

It was not a sufficient distraction.

“In love.” She stared blankly at a patch of dirt, barely cognizant of the fact that there was no sapling there. Now that it was on her mind, she couldn’t stop thinking about Twilight. She sighed, staring at her hooves. “Guess there’s nothin’ for it.”

Recommitting herself, she poured all of her energy into the job. She could think about Twilight later, and planting now. Or at least, she could try.

Nonetheless, it was a long day.

⁂

Applejack shook the exhaustion from her mind, turning the corner to her destination. La Maison sur le Coin, eight o’clock. Twilight was sitting at a table outside. She was alone but for Rarity, who watched her from a poor hiding place behind a ficus. Twilight stared at a flickering red candle on the table, occasionally glancing up at the clock. Applejack could imagine her thinking, “Am I early? Am I late? Is this the wrong place? Oh, I knew I should have written it down!” Twilight rested her chin on her hooves and went back to staring at the melting wax.

Applejack took the opportunity to slip silently into the seat beside her. When Twilight looked up to find the clock, she instead found an orange muzzle smiling at her, and nearly fell out of her chair.

Applejack snorted. “Ha, sorry ’bout that, Twi.” She stifled a yawn. “Couldn’t resist.”

Pulling herself back into a normal position, Twilight stuttered, “Applejack! Wh–what are you doing here?”

In a moment of rare charisma, the farmpony simply smiled and batted her eyelashes, evoking a strong blush from her stupefied companion.

“R–Rarity just said to be here! She didn’t say… I didn’t know.”

“Ah just want to talk, Twi. Promise.”

Twilight nodded numbly.

Dropping the act, Applejack slumped comfortably into her chair. “Promise me you won’t go zappin’ out. Or shootin’ me off to Celestia-knows-where.”

She nodded, though with a crooked grin.

Applejack wanted to just say it. She was dying to. But seeing Twilight there, shifting uncomfortably with an awkward smile, she couldn’t bring herself to. They grew silent, staring at the slowly melting candle, waiting for the waiter to bring their menus.

Applejack yawned and looked down from the table to her hooves. She’d forgotten to clean them after working in the field earlier, and now regretted it, wondering whether anypony would notice if she surreptitiously used the tablecloth for that purpose.

Some first date. She looked back up at Twilight. She looks like she’s gonna jump out of her skin. With another yawn, she shook her head, refocusing her eyes on the candle. And Ah’m hardly the best company…

They were both roused by shuffling around them.

“Everypony’s staring at us,” Twilight remarked apprehensively.

Ponies were, indeed, staring. Applejack opened her mouth to say something before noticing a familiar figure over Twilight’s shoulder. Rarity was making some motion she couldn’t understand, trying to tell her something she would never guess.

When she looked back, Twilight was staring, unabashed, with her simple, tranquil smile. The light from the candle’s flame danced softly against her cheek. She was the same as always, but different. She was beautiful. And she was so close.

Applejack lifted her hoof to Twilight’s cheek. It was warm. She realized that her own were too. But it didn’t matter.

She leaned closer. Twilight didn’t pull away. The world around her faded away into blackness, and she closed her eyes. The soft sound of the ponies around them vanished. Their lips met.

Suddenly Twilight wasn’t passive in the least. She pounced, shamelessly letting her tongue explore Applejack’s mouth, and enticing Applejack’s to do the same. Although shocked by the uncharacteristically forward behavior, Applejack found herself wanting more, pushing farther, wanting it to last.

When she pulled away, nearly gasping for breath, Twilight leaned forward with her, resting on her shoulder.

After they’d both taken a moment to breathe, Twilight remarked, “You promised we’d just talk.”

“Ah guess Ah lied,” Applejack teased. “Nopony’s perfect.”

Twilight pulled away, and looked into Applejack’s eyes. Her own violet eyes twinkled with mischief.

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

They both vanished in a magenta flash.

When Applejack’s vision cleared, she saw that they were in the library, in Twilight’s loft. “You promised you wouldn’t do that,” she retorted with a smirk.

“Nopony’s perfect,” Twilight responded simply, before pouncing once more.

Author's Note

EDIT: This is not the end. I repeat: This is not the end. Just because many stories end with “and then they got together the end” doesn’t mean this one does. Jeez, half the characters are still unresolved, this isn’t an end at all :facehoof:

Pony pony pony?

Pony pony pony.

I always love your comments, guys, and I certainly read all of them. If you ask a question or something like that and I don’t reply, it’s because I can’t reply without spoiling (or can’t think of a funny reply). It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it, I always want to hear from you!

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie and Mr Snowpony

6: The Earth Pony

Applejack Anonymous

a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 6

The Earth Pony

Applejack yawned and lazily cracked open her eyelids, awaking as she always did soon after Celestia began raising the sun. For a moment, her eyes darted back and forth, as she found herself confused at the unusual surroundings. She blinked and tugged at the blankets as her eyes focused.

It hadn’t been a dream. Not this time. When it was a dream, she didn’t wake up in an unfamiliar bed.

She looked down. Mostly covered by the bed’s blankets, Twilight slept peacefully, head lain on her chest in a small puddle of drool and gently rising and falling with each breath. Roused by her shifting, Twilight held her tighter and muttered, “Applejack…”

She lay back again. This wasn’t so bad, she reasoned. Maybe things would be alright.

Her unicorn companion blinked a few times before looking up, smiling. Their eyes met, and they smiled together, bathed in the morning glow.

The moment was short-lived.

Twilight’s eyes snapped wide open and she pulled away. “Applejack!”

“Err… who were you expectin’?”

She blushed furiously. “It… it wasn’t a dream!”

Applejack smirked, stifling a laugh. “You too, huh?”

Sheets and blankets went flying about as Twilight thrashed, struggling to escape her own bed. She fell to the ground with a muffled thud, taking most of the bed coverings with her.

Applejack barely reacted to the commotion, as she was still groggy with morning drowsiness. “Uh… you OK, Twilight?”

“I’m sorry!”

Applejack peered over the edge of the bed. Twilight was twisted up in a cocoon of orange bedsheets, still flailing as the fabric twisted itself more tightly around her. Only one of her hind hooves was visible through the tangled fabric.

“What do you mean, ‘Ah’m sorry’?”

“I thought it was a dream! I never would have… I mean, I didn’t mean to… um–” She stumbled over her words before sputtering, “It’s just, I’ve had this dream so many times, I kind of know how to skip to the good part.”

For a moment, she continued to twist and pull at the sheets, then she stopped cold and squealed faintly. Still leaning over the edge of the bed, Applejack cocked an eyebrow, wearing an incredulous smirk.

“That’s not… exactly what I meant…”

Chuckling, Applejack lay back on the bed. The covers were gone, but it was a warm, early autumn morning, and Twilight’s bed was surprisingly comfortable. After a lifetime of hard mattresses, there was something very pleasant about sinking into another mare’s bed and letting her mind drift.

She shook her head. No, there was something pleasant about sinking into a soft bed. Surely that’s what she’d meant.

Twilight continued to roll about next to the bed, wrestling with the fabric, while Applejack sorted out her thoughts. Everything’s goin’ so fast. … Is this normal? Heck, none of this is normal. It seemed to her like something must be wrong, but perhaps, she mused, that was society pushing its notions of propriety onto her.

She shook her head once more, laughing lightly. “Ah think you’re startin’ to rub off on me, Twi.”

“Huh?”

Her chuckling faded slowly. “Never mind. You OK over there?” She peeked over the edge of the bed curiously.

“Um,” Twilight began, muffled by the bed covers. Reaching over, Applejack started to unwind the coiled orange cloth. Soon, Twilight’s face appeared, glowing with embarrassment. She nodded sheepishly, looking away. “Would you like some breakfast?”

Applejack’s stomach rumbled. “Ah guess we never did eat dinner last night, did we?” she asked with a light blush.

The ball of pony and fabric rose from the ground in a magenta glow and quickly unraveled itself, revealing a tousled, but smiling, unicorn. The escape seemed so simple that Applejack couldn’t help rolling her eyes. Twilight didn’t notice, trotting from the room with a spring in her step. “Spike? Spiiiike!”

Applejack felt her cheeks burn as she realized that Spike had been sleeping no more than a yard from the bed she and Twilight had shared. Lifting herself to her hooves, she tried to let that feeling pass as the little dragon pounced out of the room, taking no note of her.

“I’m awake!” he hollered in response, nearly flying after her. “What’s the big fuss?”

“We have a guest, Spike. Help me make breakfast.”

The pair descended the stairs from Twilight’s loft, leaving Applejack to herself. She began surveying the room; other than the bedsheets torn off the bed, it was up to Twilight’s standards of immaculate order. A single nightstand at the end of the bed held a sparse few items related to personal grooming, and otherwise every shelf held carefully arranged and categorized trinkets and curios that Applejack couldn’t hope to identify.

She found herself smiling at the strange harmony of it; in a way it was not unlike Pinkie Pie’s accommodations, but with Twilight’s organization. Knickknacks from all over Equestria, perhaps all over the world, were filed carefully away on the shelves. Test tubes were hung near the flasks and beakers, while the clocks were organized neatly with the sundials and hourglasses. She’d never seen Twilight play a lyre, but one was sitting next to a flute and an oddly-shaped squeezebox. Knowing Twilight, every object must have been a fascinating example of pony civilization, but they were little more than mysteries to Applejack.

Nonetheless, her methodical search failed to reveal her hat and hairband, so she just tossed her mane back and proceeded down the stairs without.

Whether it was whipped up by unicorn magic or simply by pony and dragon ingenuity, breakfast was ready by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs. Spike beamed, enthusiastically presenting the meal to Applejack. Twilight stared at her for a few seconds, agape, before averting her gaze and focusing intentionally on the food.

Applejack followed Twilight’s gaze to a stack of blueberry pancakes just as their delectable aroma reached her nose. “Wow-ee, Twi, Ah didn’t know you could cook like this!”

“Oh,” she mumbled, “it’s really nothing. Mostly Spike.”

Applejack grinned and dug into the meal ravenously. After the first two bites—or the first two pancakes, she reluctantly admitted to herself—she calmed down, and their previous uneasiness resumed. The two mares ate in silence while Spike babbled cheerfully, apparently oblivious to the anxiety in the air. Applejack only picked up bits of his monologue, as her eyes darted between her food and her… friend? Marefriend? Lover?

“Sweetie Belle and me thought it was a great idea, but Scootaloo said it’d never work, and Apple Bloom was just trying to make us stop fighting over it.” He stuffed another whole pancake in his mouth, his words barely understandable through the food. “Finally, Apple Bloom just–”

“Spike!” Twilight interrupted. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Scowling, Spike chewed noisily while Twilight and Applejack waited, each carefully avoiding the other’s gaze.

“So anyway, Apple Bloom said they couldn’t get a cutie mark that way anyway, and the others sort of lost interest.” He picked up another piece of pancake with his fork, but just stared at the morsel instead. “Blueberries are nice, I guess, but couldn’t you let me make sapphire pancakes just once?”

Twilight grinned. “Maybe on a day when we don’t have a guest. Are you done?”

He dropped the fork. “I guess so.”

“Then go have fun. I’ll handle the dishes.”

His confused expression at the unexpected reward lasted only seconds, quickly replaced by a wide, toothy grin. He bolted from the library without another word, slamming the door behind him.

“Ah’m glad the girls let him play with them. Ah’m sure he’d be lonely as a chilly rattlesnake without ’em.”

Twilight nodded, poking her remaining pancake listlessly.

“Twi?” Applejack spoke softly, with furrowed brows.

She looked up, dropping her fork.

“What’s wrong?”

Her head dropped again. “Applejack… why me?” She bore exactly the same expression as she had during their last encounter in the library: she was distant, depressed, and altogether not Twilight.

“Twilight…”

Applejack hesitated. She hadn’t said it out loud. She’d barely even admitted it to herself. Everything was happening too fast.

What if Rarity was wrong? Why would Rarity be wrong? Was she even taking Rarity’s word, or did Rarity just lead her in the right direction?

Twilight looked up, clearly distressed by the long pause. Looking into her bright, violet eyes, Applejack’s trepidation vanished. She would have been ready to admit it to anypony.

She leaned in and spoke steadfastly, with sincerity. “Twilight, Ah love you.”

There was a lingering silence after that. Twilight stared at her for a seemingly endless moment, as if trying to judge her honesty.

“… Oh.”

Applejack pulled away, unsure how to react.

“I mean, um… that’s… wonderful?”

Applejack reached instinctively for her hat, trying to pull it down by the brim, but when her hoof found only her mane she remembered that it wasn’t there. Feeling naked without it, she slumped lower in her chair.

Twilight hid her face, looking bashful, or perhaps ashamed. “It’s only…”

“What?”

She sighed. “I guess it’s never really fair, is it.”

“What do you mean?”

Twilight gazed out the window. “What about everypony else?”

With a renewed sense of understanding, Applejack paced over carefully and leaned into Twilight. “What about everypony else?”

She nearly fell over as Twilight slipped away.

Suddenly, Applejack didn’t feel particularly welcome. And it was getting late in the morning; she could feel it in her bones. She had work to do.

“Maybe Ah’d better go.”

“N–no, Applejack, I–”

She had left before Twilight could finish the sentence. The door thudded shut behind her, and she was soon trotting briskly towards Sweet Apple Acres.

If everypony had stared at her before, now everypony was outright gawking at her. Ponies became conspicuously quiet at the sight of her, but didn’t even pretend to stop staring. Some just left it at that; others mumbled amongst themselves at the periphery of her hearing. The topic was obvious. After vanishing with Twilight the previous night, she was sure incredible rumors would be circulating.

Increasing her pace, she reminded herself that the rumors were mostly true. Starting to gallop at that point, she was relieved when Ponyville’s residences were at last replaced at her side by rows of trees. The wind sweeping over her carried the smell of ripe apples, and with it, the relaxing notion of home and normalcy.

“Hey big sis!”

She skidded to a halt, nearly toppling over her sister. “Oh, hi Apple Bloom.”

The precocious filly grinned widely. “Where were you last night?”

“Um…”

“With a very special somepony?” Apple Bloom fluttered her eyelashes as she smiled slyly, leaning into an imaginary partner.

Applejack felt her cheeks redden. “Didn’t Mamma tell you to keep your muzzle out of other ponies’ business?”

Apple Bloom was not deterred by Applejack’s admonishment; if anything, she was convinced by it. She bounced up and down excitedly. “Who is it? Somepony I know?”

“Come on, Apple Bloom, don’t ya have school?”

“It’s Sea Pony Memoriam Day, no school!” she replied, cheerfully. “Is it… is it…” She scratched her head. “Noteworthy?”

Trotting towards her home, Applejack shook her head, hoping that she could simply let the guessing game wear itself out. “Don’t ya have some chores?”

“Is it… Lucky?”

She shook her head again, now maintaining a pace somewhat too fast for her sister to comfortably follow.

Apple Bloom seemed satisfied. “Well, there ain’t a stallion in Ponyville good enough for my big sis anyway!”

Seeing her chance for a bit of deceptive honesty, Applejack nodded quickly, without turning or breaking her gait.

The filly stopped following, distracted by something moving in a nearby bush. Applejack could see a purple tail twitching inside, but opted not to spare the fillies their fun.

“Just don’t forget to do your chores, OK? We can chat later.”

She of course knew that Apple Bloom’s chores would remain undone. Youth was not without its advantages.

As the rear of the the barn which housed her trusty apple cart came into sight, an unexpected visitor came into focus. Applejack stopped.

Fluttershy was shuffling her hooves in the dirt, her eyes red and darting about. She was talking, but still too far away to be heard, and only barely visible on the other side of the barn. Treading lightly, Applejack moved towards her pegasus guest, but soon found that Fluttershy wasn’t alone. Big Macintosh was listening silently, nodding along with eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She seemed depressed, but if anypony could help with that, surely Big Macintosh could.

Not wanting to interrupt—or, really, not wanting to get involved—Applejack slunk away, moving towards a row of young trees on the opposite side of the farmhouse. They weren’t growing as strong as they should be, since she hadn’t been putting as much time into them as she should have. She put herself to her task, trying not to think about the occasional sound of her brother and friend’s chat that drifted to her ears.

They were barely audible, but Fluttershy didn’t sound particularly happy. As time wore on, her voice grew quieter, but also less forlorn, until she was inaudible.

After an hour or so of toiling, there was a knock at the farmhouse door. Applejack wiped off her hooves, pondering for a moment just why everypony always knocked on the door even though she was always outside. Nonetheless, she dutifully trotted towards the house, and was surprised to find Twilight waiting for her on the house’s front porch.

“You forgot your hat,” Twilight said. It unfolded from her saddlebags; Applejack winced instinctively at seeing her favorite hat being crumpled and wrinkled, and snatched it away gracelessly. She was relieved to discover that it was mostly unharmed.

“Thanks.” It was curt, but sincere. She donned the hat, feeling complete again.

“I…” Twilight paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I really like… your mane. Down, I mean. You’re beautiful with your hair down.”

Applejack paused. In her rush to get to work, she hadn’t bothered to go inside and tie up her hair. “Thanks,” she replied faintly.

Twilight rubbed a hoof against her leg. “Can I come in?”

Applejack opened the door and stood aside, and Twilight nervously crept through the doorway. She moved as if to sit at the dining table, but awkwardly stopped short, opting instead to stand at one end. Applejack grabbed the opposite chair and dragged it across the ground, scuffing the floor as it went, then sat down.

“Applejack, please, let me explain…” Twilight’s tone was pleading. “When I first confided in Fluttershy, I was just afraid of how she would react… When she told me about the whole group…”

Applejack shuddered slightly at the thought. That organization no longer dominated her thoughts, but it still made her uncomfortable.

“Yeah, exactly. All those ponies.” She furrowed her brow thoughtfully. “I started thinking about how great those ponies are, and how great you are, and I… I stopped imagining that I could be with you. With so many ponies, so many wonderful, kind friends, who was I? Just some… egghead.”

“Egghead? Ah ain’t Dash, Twi.”

Twilight’s gaze drifted down Applejack’s side, but she quickly turned away, reddening. “No, you’re not.”

Noticing the wayward glance, Applejack caught herself smiling. She supposed there was nothing really wrong with it. Marefriend? Lover? It seemed a relevant question again.

“It’s just… I know what jealousy feels like, Applejack. It just seems unfair.”

“Unfair?”

“Well, you know,” Twilight’s ears folded back. “When you’re a foal, they tell you you’re supposed to share…”

“Uh… Twi?”

“And then, all these ponies want the same thing…”

“Um…”

“It just seems like the only fair thing–”

Applejack loudly cut off her line of thought. “You ain’t suggestin’ what Ah think you’re suggestin’, are ya?!”

Tilting her head to the side, Twilight studied Applejack ponderously for a few seconds. Her eyes suddenly went wide with realization and her cheeks glowed. “N–no! I just– I just meant–”

Applejack found herself smirking, and she stood up and backed away, feigning shock.

“All I meant was that it’s not fair!”

“Really, Twi! Ah didn’t know you were that kind of pony!” Eyes twinkling, she grinned mischeivously. “Ah mean, Ah know you smart gals are into some weird stuff, but–”

“No! I just think Fluttershy–”

“Fluttershy too?!”

“No!”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore. Applejack guffawed, and prodded Twilight’s shoulder with a hoof. “Ah’m just teasin’, silly.”

Twilight turned bright red and covered her face in her hooves. “I’m just worried about Fluttershy and the others.”

Applejack held up Twilight’s chin and tilted her head towards one of the house’s smaller windows on the north side. She led them over in a quick trot and, with a smile, leaned out to see the distant barn.

Fluttershy and Big Macintosh sat behind it, the former leaning against the latter’s large frame and talking idly about something with a subdued, but not depressed, manner. Together they watched the sunlight peeking out a hole in a bank of clouds that was lazily drifting over the east orchard.

Applejack turned her head, confused. It usually wasn’t like the weather staff to do such a slipshod job with the clouds. That thought vanished when she noticed the pony behind them. Rainbow Dash winked at her and flew away, leaving nothing behind but her trademark rainbow streak.

Not catching sight of the ponies outside from her vantage point, Twilight pushed against Applejack, trying to get a better view. Her eyes opened wide and she smiled brightly at what she saw.

Applejack no longer noticed. She felt the soft body against her side, the rising and falling of Twilight’s chest and the quick beating of her heart.

“I think,” Twilight said, slowly, “Fluttershy’ll be OK.”

“Sure she will.” Lifting herself from her distraction, Applejack nodded vigorously. “ ’course she will!”

Twilight kept staring at the new couple as her companion made a hasty retreat. “Well, Ah’ve still got work to do, so Ah’ll talk to you later, Twilight.”

Applejack had nearly made it out the door before she was interrupted. “Let me help!”

She stopped, hoof still hovering at the door frame. “Uh, you sure?”

“I want to! I… I want to show you that I can do more than silly magic tricks.”

She tried to figure out what Twilight was trying to show, or trying to prove, but ultimately gave up at guessing. It took only a moment of pondering before she decided to humor Twilight; after all, it was folly to refuse a helping hoof. “OK, you can help, Ah guess.”

“Yes!” Twilight enthusiastically clapped her hooves. “And I promise: no magic!”

Applejack rolled her eyes, still facing the door so Twilight wouldn’t notice. “You can use magic if you want. Come on.”

The two trotted out towards Sweet Apple Acres’ west field, and soon past it. Applejack kept a leisurely pace at first, but soon the pair were nearly racing to reach their destination, their lively gait replaced by a competitive gallop. Twilight was, of course, no competition, but neither minded, enjoying the horseplay.

Applejack stopped at a row of tilled soil, wearing a victorious smirk. Twilight was close behind her, but breathing heavily.

“You sure you want to help?”

“Of course,” Twilight wheezed, catching her breath, “I’m ready!”

Applejack smiled. “Well, we’re plantin’. Seed bag’s over there.” She indicated to a collection of burlap sacks full of daisy seeds.

“Oh! Great… um…” She pushed her hoof into the dirt. “How do I do that?”

Applejack released an amused snort, before flipping up one of the bags with a front hoof in a well-practiced motion. It spun in the air, not spilling any of its content, until she caught it in her teeth and carefully extracted a single seed. She dug up a bit of dirt, dropped the seed and buried it again in a single swift action, then looked back at Twilight, still holding the bag.

Looking concerned, the would-be farmer unicorn nodded and hesitantly pushed her hoof into the ground.

“No, no,” Applejack chided, “don’t press the dirt, dig.”

She pulled back her hoof, embarrassed, and tried a different approach. It was hardly perfect, but she looked at Applejack with such imploring eyes that she received only a kind nod in response. Validated, she grabbed a bag and set to her task. Applejack went to the next row down and started planting her own seeds.

The work went quickly, and went well. Twilight picked up the rest by watching Applejack plant, and they made fast progress. It felt like only minutes before they were finishing their fifth row, three having been planted by Applejack and two by Twilight.

“Whew!” Applejack doffed her hat to wipe the sweat from her brow. The sun was high in the sky, and she figured that her assistant would be tired by now, so she stopped with her mind on lunch.

Twilight didn’t notice. She continued to turn dirt, carefully planting seed by seed, her tail twitching excitedly in the air with each success. She was clearly sweating, but refused to complain. Applejack had to admit that she had stamina. She finally stopped only when she reached into her bag for a seed and found it to be empty.

With the bag floating in an aura beside her, she trotted to Applejack, beaming through her weariness. “I’m out of–”

The bag dropped. “Oops! Um, sorry.” Her face drooped, the light fading from her eyes in an instant. “No magic.”

Applejack was taken aback by Twilight’s fast turn from joy to depression. “Hey, that’s OK, Twilight. You can use magic if you want, it ain’t–”

“But I was trying to prove that I can do it without magic.”

“Well I believe you. Just look!” Applejack waved a hoof over newly planted ground.

“I wasn’t trying to prove it to you.”

Both stood there, shifting uncomfortably. After a few moments, Twilight folded back her ears and looked up again, affecting an apologetic frown. Applejack sighed and studied her friend’s expression thoughtfully as an autumn gust of wind ruffled their manes.

Applejack pressed her lips against Twilight’s too quickly for her to react, and for once, she did nothing to stop it. But almost as soon as it had started, the kiss was over.

“See? No magic necessary.”

Twilight refused to meet her gaze. She stared at the discarded seed bag, catching it under a hoof as a stray breeze nearly claimed it. She shook her head and closed her eyes. Her horn glowed, and Applejack took a cautious step back. When Twilight looked up, eyes aglow, her intent was clear. Applejack raised an eyebrow and stood her ground.

This kiss was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. A warmth migrated from Twilight’s tongue to hers, spreading to her shoulders before sending a tingling sensation down her spine. The fire and ice she’d previously only felt in her dreams asserted themselves, but pleasantly, sending a prickly, warming sensation throughout her body. She couldn’t see anything, couldn’t feel anything but the kiss, anything but Twilight’s lips, her tongue, her mouth, her love.

She tried to hold the feeling for as long as she could, but it gradually faded away.

Breathing heavily, she opened her eyes. She was lying on her side, a few feet from where they’d stopped in the field. Twilight was looking over her with an odd mix of pride and shame in her eyes.

“See. Magic. I’m always using magic, I just hold it back sometimes.”

Applejack’s attempts at forming a rational response came out as nothing but a belabored stuttering of the word “wow”.

Despite the situation, Twilight couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s state. “Sorry, I guess I should have used a little bit less magic.”

Applejack barely managed to nod, slowly rousing herself from her stupor.

“Um… Applejack?”

“Yeah?”

Twilight looked down quizzically. “Why is a chilly rattlesnake more lonely than any other rattlesnake?”

Author's Note

Whew, last week was a trip. :rainbowwild:

Sorry to anypony who may have been confused, but, y’know, this is a romantic comedy. ’s been marked that way since the beginning! We’re shoulder-deep in romance now… if you know what I mean.

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie and Mr Snowpony

7: Magic

Applejack Anonymous

a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 7

Magic

“Good morning, Applejack!”

“Mornin’, Roseluck.”

It was an unusual Tuesday, if only because the population of Ponyville was actually in and around Ponyville, not hidden away. Applejack had come into town seeking her marefriend—a term she had eventually settled on—for lunch together, allowing herself to forget about the significance of the day. She hadn’t found Twilight, but she had found many other mares, to her surprise.

“Hi, Applejack!”

“Howdy, Lyra. Where’s Bonnie? Ah thought you two were closer than a turtle and a shell!”

Just as she said this, a greenish figure floated by overhead, followed shortly by a recognizable rainbow streak. “Tortoise!”

After both had shared a moment of bewilderment, Lyra frowned. “I think you can guess where she is.”

Applejack stopped, reading Lyra’s expression. Lyra’s eyes darted away from Applejack. Her lips creased into a forced smile, but she was clearly incensed. Applejack had never considered herself close to Lyra, particularly after being snubbed at the mare’s wedding, but she counted everypony in Ponyville as a friend.

And besides, she didn’t have anypony else to have lunch with.

“Lyra… got lunch plans?”

Blinking in surprise, she shook her head and followed Applejack. She followed silently, keeping pace with uneasy rhythm. Applejack was acutely aware of the awkwardness of it, but had already decided that clearing the air was more important than being comfortable doing so. They found a free table outside a small corner restaurant they were both familiar with, and sat down.

Applejack found that she had dozens of questions she wanted to ask, but only one was really pertinent. Even after weeks of time, a series of events she was still reeling from, and the most significant change to her romantic life she’d ever experienced, there was only one thing she really wanted to know from this particular unicorn, and there was only one way she could think to ask it: directly.

“Lyra, why didn’t you invite me to your wedding?”

Lyra’s menu shot onto the table, hiding her face before Applejack had a chance to judge her reaction. “Well, err,” she stuttered, muffled, “I didn’t really mean to insult you or anything…”

Applejack remained unconvinced, but could only stare blankly at the fanciful logo of La Maison sur le Coin on the front of their menu.

“I just thought, maybe, it might be better…”

They were interrupted by the rather gruff overtones of a waiter, whose brusque voice was at odds with his bright turquoise coat and neat blue mane. “May I take your order?”

Visibly relieved by the interruption, Lyra mumbled her order, a cucumber salad with mint dressing. Applejack watched Lyra thoughtfully while ordering a pumpkin and tomato sandwich. The stallion took Applejack’s menu, and motioned for Lyra to do the same.

It remained firmly where it stood.

Undeterred, the waiter put a hoof atop the menu, trying to get Lyra’s attention.

The menu stood a proud guardian.

Finally, he snatched the menu in his mouth with a motion too quick to prevent and trotted off.

In her life, and particularly in the recent few weeks, Applejack had seen a lot of mares embarrassed, and had embarrassed a lot of mares. She’d seen faces redder than she knew they could be, and felt the heat rise to her own cheeks on more than one occasion. But if it were a contest, she would now have found the clear victor.

“It was stupid,” she blubbered, “and it was selfish, and I wasn’t thinking straight, and I, and–”

She stopped short when Applejack’s hoof rested on her own. It was intended as a calming motion, but clearly had the opposite effect, as Lyra stared at the offending appendage like it was a dangerous animal poised to strike.

“And?” Applejack inquired after a moment.

Her companion deflated, resting her chin against the table and staring at the unlit candle in the center, still red with embarrassment but doing nothing to hide it. “Almost all the guests were from… well, let’s just say I sent out the invitations on Tuesday. It was like a reunion. So I was afraid that if she saw you there, she’d remember what I really was.”

Applejack furrowed her brow and lowered her head somewhat, trying to meet Lyra’s gaze. “What you really are?”

“The consolation prize.”

Applejack pulled away, stunned. “You… ya can’t really believe that?!”

“Of course I can.” Lyra pulled her hooves away and lifted herself back up, but only to a slumped position in her seat. “I met her at the club, you know.”

“Y’mean… the ‘me’ club.”

“Yeah.”

Applejack unconsciously leaned away.

“Heh, exactly. I… I know you would never intentionally do anything to hurt anypony, but… well, I’m not you. I can’t replace you.”

They were silent for a moment. Lyra twisted a bit of tablecloth between her hooves, tying it into small knots and untying them again. Applejack stared on hopelessly, struggling to move the conversation forward without hurting Lyra more or drawing out information she frankly didn’t want to know.

Still staring at her hooves as she nervously shuffled them about, Lyra soon continued without prompting. “A few months after I moved to Ponyville and met you, I asked Rarity if she thought I had a shot with you, and, well…” She chuckled sourly. “Obviously I didn’t. As soon as I joined the club, I pretty much put that thought out of my mind. Which was good, because that’s where I met Bon Bon.”

Lyra went back to examining the fabric between her hooves, so Applejack spoke up. “So you’re not really… Ah mean, you ain’t in lo–”

“No, not any more.” The unicorn looked up. She was still a bit flush, but much less so. “Not much, anyway. But Bonnie…”

“But Bonnie?”

“She really loves you, you know.”

Just as she said that, the waiter arrived with their meals, leaving the conversation in an uncomfortable spot while he placed the plates.

“Is there anything else you’d like?”

“No, thank you.”

“We do have fresh-squeezed raspberry juice, if–”

“Water will be fine.”

“As you wish.”

Both watched him trot back into the restaurant, and Applejack shook her head. “Until Ah found out about this group, Ah figured Bonnie hated me. Heck, Ah figured it was her that kept me out of the wedding. We never talk anymore.”

Lyra poked her salad with a fork, twisting it around without lifting any of it to her mouth. “No. She could never stop loving you…”

“Oh.” Applejack frowned. She opened her mouth, but couldn’t find words, and closed it again. She reached out a hoof, but seeing Lyra eye it, immediately pulled it back.

“It’s not your fault, and I know what I am. I’m her second place ribbon.” Lyra sighed wistfully. “But it’s no excuse for me to be jealous. She wanted you to come to the wedding; I talked her out of it. Said it would be awkward.”

They both stared at each other for a moment, then Applejack put on a wide smile. “Y’know what, let’s clear the air.” She put out her hoof. “Ah want us to be friends, and Ah want Bonnie as a friend again too.”

Slowly, Lyra accepted her hoof, and they shook on it.

“You’re a wonderful pony, Lyra, and Bon Bon’s mighty lucky to have you. You ain’t some consolation prize, and you sure as hay ain’t some second place ribbon. And Ah know Bonnie well enough to know she doesn’t think of you that way. Ah see the way she looks at you. She only looked at me like that once, a long time ago.”

Lyra smiled reservedly, but genuinely. “Thanks, AJ. And tell you what, you can snub me for your wedding.”

They laughed, and the dark cloud that seemed to have been hanging over the table lifted. “But Ah do have one question…”

“Yeah?”

“Ya said it was like a reunion, but what about Rainbow? And Twilight, and Pinkie, and… well, my brother?”

Lyra pursed her lips contemplatively. “Rainbow wasn’t there… Twilight had already joined, unofficially. I think Bon Bon invited Big Macintosh as some weird joke.”

“Joke? Ah don’t get it.”

“I don’t get most of her jokes either,” Lyra chuckled. “And Pinkie… jeez, I’m not sure if we actually asked her to plan it…”

“Huh?”

“We were just starting to plan it, and then she was sort of… there.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s Pinkie all right.”

They laughed, and, Applejack’s query satisfied, dug into their respective meals.

After a few minutes and a substantial portion of food, Lyra resumed the conversation on a more pleasant topic.

“So, how’re things going with Twilight?”

Applejack dropped her fork and scratched the back of her neck nervously. “OK, Ah suppose.”

“Um… you suppose?”

“Well,” Applejack breathed heavily, “tell me, Lyra, you’re a unicorn, right?”

She chuckled at the obvious observation. “Last I checked.”

“How good are you at magic?”

Lyra shrugged. “I can do what I need to do.”

“Do you use magic in day-to-day life?”

“Not much. Why, does Twilight?” Her expression changed, a lurid smirk revealing lurid conclusions. “Things getting a bit too hot to handle?”

Applejack pulled the brim of her hat over her face, shaking her head. “Ah thought Bon Bon was the one that made the off-color jokes.”

“So that’s it, is it?” Lyra’s cocky smirk widened into a smile. “I didn’t know she had it in her—seems like the reserved type to me—but y’know what they say about the smart ones!”

“It ain’t that, Lyra.”

“Boy, with her magic power,” she said, eyes wandering, “she could do… all sorts of things…”

“It ain’t that!” Under her breath, Applejack finished the sentence, “… exactly.”

Lyra pouted. “You sure?”

“Sure Ah’m sure! Wouldja just answer the question?”

“Um,” she smiled sheepishly, “what was the question again?”

“Do you use magic every day? In normal, day-to-day stuff?”

She scratched her head thoughtfully. “Well, I use it for playing my music, and I do that every day.”

“But not for normal stuff?”

“Nope. I don’t even use levitation much.”

“And not for… anything with Bon Bon?”

Lyra’s coy smile returned.

“Never mind. Point is, Twi’s got some weird hangup about magic. Not really sure what to do about it. Other than that everything’s peachy.”

Lyra finished her salad, sat down her fork, then lifted it in a green aura and pointed it at Applejack. “You know what I think you should do?”

“What’s that?”

The fork dropped. “Ask somepony else.”

They laughed together as Applejack finished her meal, paid their tabs and parted ways with a smile. Of course, Applejack was still no closer to Twilight, literally or metaphorically, but she was sated.

After a few moments of aimless wandering, she decided that there was really only one “somepony else” worth asking. When it came to unicorns that weren’t Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville had few options, but luckily one of those options was a close friend.

On the way to the Carousel Boutique, she was glad to see the streets looking almost as bustling as they usually did, and ponies greeting her as a friend. By the time she reached Rarity’s door, her mood was downright chipper.

She reached to knock, but the door opened before her hoof reached it. Rarity took a step out and found herself nose-to-hoof with Applejack. She crossed her eyes and gasped. “D–d–dirt!”

Applejack pulled her hoof away and examined it. Her morning chores had, of course, left a bit of mud on her hooves. She looked up, and sure enough, there was a horseshoe-shaped mud mustache across Rarity’s otherwise perfectly groomed snout.

Rarity shrieked and slammed the door, leaving her guest to listen to her frantic hoofsteps up the stairs inside, followed by another shrill cry.

“Maybe Ah should talk to somepony else…”

She took a step back, intending to leave the unicorn well enough alone, but the door swung open once more, this time revealing Rarity with a wide, inviting smile and no hint of the encounter mere seconds before.

“Applejack! It’s such a pleasure to see you, what brings you by the Carousel Boutique?”

“Uh, just wanted to talk… Ah guess you’re busy, so Ah’ll–”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Rarity uncomfortably shoved Applejack into her boutique. “It’s always a pleasure to chat with a good friend. Would you like some tea?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes, unsure of her friend’s motives.

“Oh… OK, no tea then, so what is it you wanted to talk about?”

She sighed loudly and visibly, but went on nonetheless. “Rarity, Ah know you use magic when you’re working on dresses and such,” she waved a hoof over some of the visible wares, but stopped mid-sentence when she saw one dress in particular.

There was something odd about a wedding dress with spurs. Something very odd.

It was quickly covered by a screen, unfolding gracefully with a tug by Rarity’s blue magic. “Just something I’m working on for a friend,” she explained hastily. “Now what was this about magic?”

Applejack rolled her eyes and turned back. “So, you use magic in day-to-day life, yeah?”

“Of course,” she answered simply, “and why not? ‘If you’ve got it’, as they say. Not, of course, that there’s anything wrong with not, erm, ‘having it’.”

“This ain’t a jealousy thing, Rarity, just a question. It’s just… well, Twilight’s got sort of a hangup about magic, and Ah guess Ah need a unicorn’s opinion.”

“I see.” Rarity led them into a smaller, cozier room and sat down, indicating for Applejack to do the same. The plush environment wasn’t exactly to the farm-raised earth pony’s liking; purple velvet had little value in her vocation. Still, she sat down, lifting each hoof carefully to avoid any more embarrassing mud incidents.

“I don’t know if I can help, but I’m more than happy to try. So what’s wrong?”

Applejack crossed her hooves and thought. “Well… lemme start from the beginnin’.”

“Makes sense to me,” Rarity chuckled.

“You bear the Element of Generosity.”

She blushed slightly, but nodded.

“And Ah’m Honesty and Dash is Loyalty and so on, and Twilight is Magic.”

“Yes, yes.”

“And do you know how she feels about that?”

“I suppose not,” she shrugged.

“Somethin’ awful. Says everypony else’s is something personal, something special, and she’s just… Ah don’t know, doin’ tricks or something.”

Rarity nodded along, looking more and more concerned with every word.

“Ah just want her to realize how great she is, magic or no.”

Rarity hummed, tapping her chin and generally making a show of her thought process. “Twilight is certainly… humble, regarding her prowess in the magical arts.”

“Ah’m not sure if that’s the problem, exactly.”

“Ah—er, I—think that it is.”

A teakettle in the next room whistled, and Rarity politely excused herself, leaving Applejack to her thoughts.

She didn’t allow her thoughts to drift far. There was something profoundly uncomfortable to her about being in such a plush, cushy environment. Whatever anypony might say about Twilight, she was pretty down-to-earth for a unicorn, scoffing as readily as Applejack at the extravagant Canterlot lifestyle that Rarity held in such high regard.

And perhaps, Applejack thought, that’s part of the problem.

Rarity returned, interrupting Applejack’s thoughts, and poured a cup of tea for herself. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like some tea?”

Applejack waved off the offered cup. Rarity shrugged at this and sat down, taking a sip from her own.

“Now, let me tell you something about magic.”

She removed the teacup from between her hooves, effortlessly transferring it into the grasp of her blue magical aura.

“Magic—unicorn magic, that is—isn’t like the brutish application of physical force. It’s delicate. It’s careful.” She looked up at Applejack over the steam rising from her tea. “It’s methodical.”

Applejack huffed at the implication, but Rarity merely smiled coyly and continued.

“And more importantly, it’s not just a skill, it’s a sense. A sense that some unicorns, like Twilight, are more in touch with than others, such as myself.”

The aura holding her teacup began to brighten and grow until it was connected to her horn by a bridge of sparkling blue magic. The cup rattled, throwing out small droplets of tea in every direction. Rarity began breathing heavily, closing her eyes as she continued forcing out words.

“Every unicorn learns to understand and harness this sense to some degree.” The light receded, leaving the teacup floating calmly. “Not everypony learns to show it, of course.”

The teacup lowered back to her awaiting hoof, then raised back to her mouth, and she took another sip, smiling proudly.

In spite of her clear pride in her show of talent, Rarity was also blushing and averting her gaze. Applejack decided not to press the issue. “So, what’re you tryin’ to tell me about Twilight?”

“Twilight Sparkle is the prized pupil of Celestia herself, probably the most powerful unicorn alive. If you don’t really understand her magic, then you don’t really understand her.”

“But she–”

“Trust me, Applejack.”

“But–!”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Rarity chided, “just trust me. What your relationship needs is more magic, not less.”

Applejack slumped in her chair, befuddled. “So just what’re you suggesting?”

“Encourage her, darling! Show her you don’t want her to hold back her magic for you.”

Her horn glowed. “Show her you want to really know her power!”

Applejack began to panic as she was lifted from her seat, enveloped by Rarity’s inescapable magical grasp. “Show her you aren’t afraid!”

She kicked helplessly as she was dragged closer to Rarity, who sat up with wide, feral eyes. “Show her that you want to know her magic, inside and ou–!”

The grip released in an instant, and she fell rather fumblingly to the ground. Rarity looked down, apologetically. “Um… what I’m trying to say is, show her that you’ll love her no matter what, not because of her magic, or in spite of her magic, but simply with her magic.

“Her magic is a part of her, and if you’re going to be with her, that means it’s a part of you too.”

Backing away, Applejack doffed her hat and scratched her head. “Ah have no idea what you’re talkin’ about, and Ah don’t intend to stick around and find out.” She’d already slid entirely out of the room before Rarity had a chance to retort, and was soon out of the boutique entirely. She galloped on, raising a cloud of dust behind her, in a trail towards Sweet Apple Acres. She’d put a fair distance behind her before she slowed down to think again.

Ponyville may seem better, but Ah can’t forget that it’s still got more nuts than a squirrel in the winter.

She slowed to a more reasonable trot, putting on a smile and greeting all her friends on the way. Reaching the rows of trees was, as was often the case, an enormous relief.

An even bigger relief came from what she spotted as she passed the farmhouse itself. Fluttershy and Big Macintosh appeared to be several hours into their “just lunch and a chat”, a new habit which they probably hadn’t even admitted to themselves was a date. As far as Applejack was concerned, any bit of affection redirected from her onto her big brother was a good thing. Not wanting to interrupt their fun, she turned towards her trees, but soon found that she wasn’t the only one keeping tabs on her brother’s affairs.

“Rainbow, how long have you been up there snoopin’?”

“I’m not snooping! I’m, uh…” Rainbow’s eyes darted back and forth frantically. “Training?”

“Ah suppose you do most of your training while sitting in my tree, staring through my window?” Applejack asked, chuckling.

“OK, OK, I’m snooping! The club was just so boring today!”

Applejack scowled. The club was the last thing she wanted to hear about.

“So I left there after lunch and came here, and then I had to suffer that love-fest!” She pointed dramatically at the farmhouse. “Is your whole family that lovey-dovey shmoopy-doo kissy-kissy, or is your brother just a big softie?”

After a brief thought, Applejack smiled, looking at the window. Both of the ponies inside were looking very intently away from each other, stealing occasional glances when the other wasn’t. “Ah donno, Ah think they’re cute.”

Rainbow stuck out her tongue. “Ugh, gag me!”

Rolling her eyes, Applejack just trotted past her unromantic friend and towards her trees.

Applebucking was a good task; it was sufficiently laborious to take Applejack’s mind off of things, but fun enough to do all day, if need be. It was not, however, a good job to do while trying to hold a conversation.

“Need any help?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You offerin’?”

“Well, no,” Rainbow backpedaled. “I’m just making conversation. I’m bored!”

“Ain’t my job,” she wheezed, preparing another kick, “to keep you excited.”

Rainbow flew in small circles around the trees Applejack was bucking, every now and again batting a few into the baskets below. Even when she wanted to be unhelpful, she was still a good friend. “Guess I could go back to the club… I’ll bet they’ve got Twilight telling ’em everything by now.”

Applejack stopped short, letting her hooves fall to the ground mid-kick. “Tell ’em… what, exactly?”

“All morning they were just asking her about you, on and on and on, and she never told them anything juicy. Booooo-ring!”

She turned around, studying Rainbow’s expression. If she was just teasing, Applejack couldn’t tell; she was being smug, but her tone was honest.

“But I bet they’ll get to her eventually,” she continued, grinning devilishly. “Everypony’s got a breaking point.”

“Uh, nice chattin’ with you, Dash,” Applejack sputtered, “but Ah gotta run, see ya!”

Although she still wasn’t certain of Rainbow’s honesty, she nonetheless felt that it was in her best interest to investigate, and so for the second time that day, she set forth for Ponyville. She did so with a bit more urgency in her step, and less forced innocence clouding her thoughts.

And with a much wider berth around the Carousel Boutique.

It was true, of course, that everypony has a breaking point. For some, it might be a hair out of place; for others, Applejack feared, the pestering of too many ponies who had no respect for privacy. For Applejack, as it turned out, it was galloping full tilt from Ponyville to Sweet Apple Acres, bucking apple trees for ten minutes, then galloping full tilt back. She reached the campus of the West Ponyville Institute of Geology and Mining, but before she could make it to the building where the meeting was held, she collapsed in a park, panting, winded and dizzy.

“Y’know what,” she told nopony, “maybe Twilight’ll be just fine.”

She listened to her heart beat against the cool grass, and tried not to let her mind wander too much further than that.

Tried.

“Aww, come on, we won’t tell anypony else!”

“We have other things on the schedule, Bon Bon,” Twilight curtly replied, “we aren’t going to talk about this.”

“But you’ve zapped her away twice! Twice! That’s not fair, didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?”

“Very funny.”

“Just tell us if you did it at your place or hers!”

“Where is none of your business, Bon Bon.”

“Aha, you don’t deny it then! Ooh, first date, I didn’t know you had it in you…”

Twilight blushed furiously, stammering, “N–no–I–we–“

Applejack woke from her brief and disturbed nap with a start. She had another start when she turned her head to find Pinkie, beaming down with her usual cheeky grin while chewing the last bite of some unidentifiable pastry.

“Hiya, Applejack!”

“Pinkie… were you watching me?”

“Yup!”

Applejack groaned and pulled herself to her hooves, shaking the dream from her mind. “Don’t you think that’s a bit weird?”

Ignoring the question, Pinkie looked back and forth conspiratorially before leaning in close. “My Pinkie Sense told me you were in trouble, so I came to find you.”

“Well, Ah’m not. Thanks anyway.” She began to trot away.

“But it’s never wrong!”

“Sorry, Ah guess it is.”

“Wait!” Pinkie hopped into Applejack’s path. “It’s dangerous to go alone!” she exclaimed, rummaging in a saddlebag which Applejack would have sworn she wasn’t wearing even a second earlier. “Take this!”

With her typical exuberant smile, Pinkie held forth her offering of aid: a blueberry muffin.

“Um… thanks?” Not wanting to find out what would happen if she refused the gift, Applejack reluctantly accepted it, putting it under her hat.

Pinkie Pie skipped away, joining a group of mares departing the Institute. Seeing as how the meeting was clearly ending, Applejack decided to meet Twilight at the library instead of the Institute, and began walking stiffly in that direction.

“Good afternoon, Applejack!”

“Why, what did you hear?!”

“… What?”

“Nothin’, never mind, good morning.”

The mare looked at the sky. “But it’s past five PM…”

“Good afternoon, good night, goodbye!” She quickened her pace, straining her already tired muscles and leaving the confused mare behind.

Applejack was winded again by the time she reached the library, so she barged in unannounced. Twilight was standing in the middle of the room, supervising as books swirled overhead, meticulously arranging themselves at her whim. It’s incredible, Applejack thought. Like she hardly even has to think about it. All of Applejack’s fears that this pony could possibly be unnecessarily forthcoming, or in any other way unorganized, vanished from her mind as she watched the spectacle.

Shortly, Twilight caught sight of Applejack, and the books fell in great piles as they greeted each other with a warm hug.

“Wow, Twi, you really are incredible!”

“Oh, no,” she murmured, blushing, “that was nothing.”

Rarity’s words drifted back to Applejack’s mind. “Her magic is a part of her, and if you’re going to be with her, that means it’s a part of you too.”

“If that was nothing, then show me something.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow, confused.

Woken by the commotion, Spike plodded in, bleary-eyed and clearly having been napping. “Show her number 34,” he suggested.

Almost instinctively, Twilight pulled a few bits from a drawer and handed them to the little dragon. “Why don’t you go get some ice cream, Spike.”

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he was gone before he could give the sudden boon any further thought.

“You say you’re always holdin’ back your magic. So don’t!” Applejack stood firmly, trying to make her stance firm but nonthreatening. “Ah want to see everything.”

“Are… you sure?”

She nodded confidently.

“Well,” Twilight began, increasing in enthusiasm with every word, “there’s this one spell I’ve always wanted to try, but it’s kind of… personal.”

Applejack just smiled in affirmation.

“OK… OK!” Twilight was quite excited now. “Just sit right there, this is kind of tricky.”

Twilight took a deep breath, then stared straight into Applejack’s eyes, breathing steadily. Her horn glowed, and with each breath, became brighter. She closed her eyes, and the glow spread to her entire body, still growing stronger. The light in the room dimmed, leaving her glowing figure as the only light illuminating the shelves of books.

She opened her eyes once more, and lapping tendrils of light shot forth from her, at first randomly, but quickly concentrating on Applejack. Applejack tried to hide her anxiety at this, allowing them to surround her.

Very soon she was completely enclosed in their glow, and they began to contract. They were warm, and soothed her still-aching muscles with their passing. But soon after they’d moved past her legs, she realized that they weren’t actually soothing her muscles at all; she couldn’t feel her extremities. She was now fully panicking, but with no escape, could only watch helplessly as she lost all feeling in the rest of her body. When the glow finally contracted around her head, everything went black, and everything went silent.

She couldn’t feel anything, not even gravity. She was floating, disembodied and without senses.

Then a new sense appeared. She couldn’t tell how, but she knew that Twilight was by her. She struggled to move closer, sure that the unicorn was more accustomed to this place, but had no muscles to move and no ground to move across. Nonetheless, she felt Twilight come closer.

Momentarily, she was wrapped in a new warmth. She could feel Twilight’s mind, or her soul, or some unexplainable notion of her, and could see her feelings and her thoughts with a new and alien kind of vision.

They were carefully organized, even categorized, to Applejack’s amusement. Her responsibilities were neatly packed together, and the incredible well of magical knowledge, which Applejack couldn’t even hope to disentangle, was wrapped up with them. Then there was a warm spot of helpfulness, compassion and sympathy. Beside that was her friendships. A bit of Rainbow Dash, a bit of Pinkie Pie, and Rarity and Fluttershy, fleeting thoughts of the Cakes’ foals and memories of Lyra and Bon Bon’s wedding.

And then there was a mirror of sorts: Twilight’s love for Applejack, completely bare and plain. It was warm, and it was earnest. It was just as much erotic as it was romantic, but was presented so honestly that it wasn’t lewd, just forthright.

It all started to fade away. Applejack tried to twist away, not wanting to leave this new experience she’d only just known, but was powerless to keep herself there. She felt like she was falling for a moment, then her eyes sprung open, and she was perfectly fine, back in the library, feeling very awake and refreshed.

Twilight was in front of her, still mid-spell. Her horn was glowing so brightly that its heat was visible in the air, and she floated several inches above the ground, her eyes burning white. Her magical force was whipping up the air in the room, knocking papers from desks and quills from stands.

“Twilight?”

She didn’t respond.

“Twi?!”

Nothing.

“Twi! Hello?!” Frantic, Applejack waved her hooves in front of the unicorn’s face, but garnered no reaction.

The howling winds toppled a bookcase, whipping up a whirlwind of torn pages. Applejack snapped into action, desperately pushing through the maelstrom to find some way to break the spell, but found nothing that could help her.

As Twilight floated higher, the wind intensified, engulfing the library in a tornado of glowing debris. Applejack’s hat flew off, joining the swirling mass. As it tumbled through the air, Applejack glimpsed something within its creases.

Pinkie’s premonition was right: She was in trouble. And Pinkie was right in another way too. With a jump backed by hind legs conditioned through years of applebucking, Applejack punched a hole in the storm, snatching the hat out of the air. Twisting in midair, Applejack drove her forelegs forward and impaled the blueberry muffin on Twilight's horn.

The magical gusts stopped almost immediately, and Twilight drifted back to the ground with a distant look in her eyes. She blinked a few times, her face slowly reddening as she inspected the mess of books and debris littering every surface. “I guess I got a bit carried away…”

Applejack wrapped her hooves around her marefriend’s neck and gave her a quick, firm kiss. “You’re amazing, Twilight.”

“Oh, no, that was really nothing sp–”

Applejack put a hoof to Twilight’s lips, silencing her. “Not the magic. You.”

Twilight grinned, red in the cheeks, and accepted Applejack’s embrace. For a long moment, they simply held each other, feeling each other’s heartbeat and breathing. They remained silent until Applejack felt Twilight’s lips against her ear. “Applejack?”

“Yeah?”

“Is there something on my head?”

Author's Note

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Is there something on your head? I always want to hear what you have to say in that comment box below!

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie and Mr Snowpony

8: Applejack, Anonymous

Applejack Anonymous

a My Little Pony fanfiction by Clavier

Chapter 8

Applejack, Anonymous

“Nuh-uh. Nothin’ doin’.” Applejack punctuated her statement with an indignant snort. She was sure that this was not a good idea, and she would have no part of it.

“Please? Please!”

It was unusual enough for Twilight to be awake early enough to catch Applejack in her home; this meeting was made more unusual by the request she was there to make. Her wide, violet eyes twinkled sadly, making her pleas almost impossible to ignore, although Applejack suspected that the effect was created with no small amount of magical intervention.

“Ah–”

The unicorn pouted, and her pleading eyes seemed to reach into Applejack’s soul as their misty fringes threatened to spill over with tears.

It was an insane request, Applejack was sure. If she went to the Institute while the group was meeting, they would tear her apart, figuratively speaking. Twilight had occasionally had some nutty ideas, but this one topped them. She wasn’t even sure what it was supposed to accomplish, let alone how she was supposed to avoid the nightmarish outcome that she was sure was more likely.

Still, looking into Twilight’s gaze, she felt something melt in her heart… quite probably a feeling created by magical intervention.

“Fine,” she huffed.

It took surprisingly little time to reach the Institute. In fact, she barely remembered the trip once she was there. It was like the town had pushed her towards the Institute whether she wanted to go there or not. Like there was a force of… quite possibly magical intervention.

The doorway stood in front of her. She didn’t remember it being so big. It towered over her, more like the ornate gate to a medieval castle than a door to a simple college classroom. All the windows were covered by drapes, and no sound came from inside. Maybe, she thought—or really, only hoped—nopony would be there. Twilight stood next to the door with a sly grin, and with a flash of her horn, it opened, groaning at the sudden movement.

Inside was pitch blackness. In spite of her trepidation, Applejack stepped through the precipice. She jumped as the door slammed behind her. Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the darkness, until a single figure, alone in the massive room, began to come into focus.

“… Twilight?”

Applejack opened her eyes. Her ceiling, illuminated by the rising sun, greeted her.

Another dream.

“Ah thought Ah was done with these…”

She pulled herself from her bed, stretching her legs and preparing for another day’s work. After taking a quick shower, tying back her hair and donning her favorite hat, she trotted down the stairs. Big Macintosh and Granny Smith were at the kitchen table, each with a bowl of porridge.

“Hey, Big Mac, what’s on the roster today?”

He looked up at her for a moment, brow furrowed, then shrugged, going back to his meal.

“Nothin’? What do you mean, nothin’?!”

He shrugged again.

Applejack’s grandmother looked up and smiled. “You’ve been workin’ too hard, missy! It’s about time you took a day off.”

“Well shoot.” She scratched her head. “The new trees?”

“They’re fine. You shouldn’t coddle ’em anyhow!”

“OK, OK, Ah get the picture.”

After a quick breakfast, she decided to head into town. It was a Tuesday, so she knew what some of her friends would be doing, but surely Pinkie Pie would have something entertaining they could do.

It didn’t take much time for the trees to be replaced by houses on her trot to town, but Applejack noticed something unusual about the streets and passers-by. At first, she couldn’t quite place her hoof on it. Something had changed, but she couldn’t see what.

A couple passed by, leaning on each other affectionately, and waved a friendly hello to Applejack. Then another, then a group of mares carrying shopping bags, and then another couple… She realized what it was that had changed: Ponies. It was a Tuesday, and the town was bustling with activity, like it would have been on any other day.

No, not like any other day. Ponies were pairing up like she’d never seen before, but Hearts and Hooves Day was still months away.

She reached the market, and scanned over the crowds. Again, it was almost like any other day, but not quite.

Pushing through a line to talk to the proprietor of a stand she was quite familiar with, Applejack found things in a state she’d never anticipated. Roseluck’s stand was barren of flowers, and the line of customers for it were clearly miffed by it, yelling and pushing each other to see the stand.

“What’s goin’ on here, Rose?” Applejack yelled over the din.

Roseluck hollered something inaudible back. Applejack shook her head and shouted, “What?!”

Again, Roseluck yelled something, but again, Applejack couldn’t hear it. Finally, the florist threw up her forelegs and shrugged. Getting the message, Applejack left the stand and continued towards Sugarcube Corner.

The path took her by the library, so she decided to peek in. After all, if nopony else was going to their little club, then maybe her marefriend would, ironically, skip it as well.

She knocked, and there was a loud thud inside. Concerned, she peered through the window, considering bursting in to see what had happened. Soon enough, Spike cracked open the door, rubbing his head. “What?”

“Ah was just lookin’ for Twi.” She leaned down, examining the bump on his head. “Um, you OK, sugarcube?”

“You woke me up.” He shook himself. “I mean, you surprised me! I, uh…” He flexed a scrawny arm, putting on a show of what little musculature was there. “I dropped my weights! That’s dangerous, you know, you shouldn’t wake me up—um, surprise me in the middle of a workout.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Mmmmmmhm.”

Spike smiled sheepishly. “OK, I fell out of bed.”

“Oh. Err, sorry?”

“ ’s OK.”

For a moment, they both just stared at each other.

“So Twilight’s not here?”

“Nope.”

There was another awkward pause, while Applejack waited for Spike to try to start up a conversation, as he usually did. It wasn’t like him to be so quiet.

“OK, thanks anyway.”

“Bye, Applejack!”

Applejack flinched as the door slammed in her face, followed seconds later by his snoring coming from indoors. Clearly Twilight let him sleep in on Tuesdays, and Applejack had interrupted that. She chuckled to herself, shaking her head as she continued her original trip.

It wasn’t long before she had reached her destination and stepped inside. If the market had been bustling, then Applejack had no words to describe Sugarcube Corner. She’d never had to wind her way through crowds there before, and certainly had never had any problem finding the proprietors. Neither of the Cakes were at the counter, nor was Pinkie Pie, and she could hear a foal crying on the second floor.

“Hiya Applejack!”

Applejack turned her head to the right, where she’d heard Pinkie’s voice, but found only a couple enjoying a milkshake together.

“Real busy today, no time to talk!”

She turned to the left. Still no Pinkie Pie.

“If you want to make an order, you’ll have to wait in line.”

Now the voice was behind her. She turned around, and could have sworn she caught a glimpse of a pink blur, but nothing more.

“That is, if we had a line…”

The sound came from behind her again. Applejack spun around, but was still too slow.

“Tell ya what, if you find a line…”

She spun around again.

“… then tell me about it…”

And again.

“… because I don’t even know who’s ordering what anymore!”

Dizzy from trying to catch sight of Pinkie, Applejack fell mid-spin, hitting her head against the hardwood floor in the process. Momentarily dazed, she groped for her hat on the ground while watching stars dance above her.

“You should be more careful!” Pinkie chirped, stopping above Applejack with a bright smile in spite of the chaotic environment, or perhaps even because of it.

She was wearing Applejack’s hat.

With a glower, Applejack grabbed it and flipped herself back over. Clearly she wasn’t going to find something to do with Pinkie, but the state of Sugarcube Corner only heightened the day’s mystery.

“Just what the hay’s goin’ on here, Pinkie?”

Pinkie disappeared back into the crowd, only occasionally visible as a pink blur leaving trays of treats for customers. “I don’t know! Just busy I guess!”

“Do you want my help?” Applejack reluctantly asked, fearing a positive answer.

“No, thanks, I’m OK!” Pinkie replied. “Besides, all this business sure is good for… uh… business!”

Applejack sighed in relief. Without trying to find the pink blur again to say a proper goodbye, Applejack pushed back through the crowd and out of the shop. She stood at the door for a moment, unsure of how to make use of her day off. The only thing she could think to do was investigate what was going on. And the only way she could think of to do that…

She hadn’t expected her dream to be so prophetic.

Gritting her teeth, she started to the west. Towards the West Ponyville Institute of Geology and Mining. Towards the group.

Towards Twilight.

Along the way, she once again felt the undesired celebrity feeling she’d had for weeks. Everypony greeted her, everypony made pleasant remarks. Particularly the couples, of which there were more than ever. Why’re they all bein’ this way if they ain’t at the club?

Even so, they weren’t particularly disagreeable. They were merely friendly. Too friendly.

The crowds of couples became conspicuously thinner as she approached the Institute. By the time she reached its gates, there were no ponies to be seen, and the campus itself was barren but for the occasional student hustling between classes. It was pleasant to hear the clip-clop of her hooves instead of the cheery salutations of pony pairs.

She reached the Sedimentary Science building shortly. The drapes were shut, preventing her from seeing what was going on inside, so she pressed her ear to the door instead.

“Next on the agenda,” Twilight began, inside. There was the sound of papers shuffling, and a loud sigh. “Next on the agenda,” she quietly repeated.

Applejack cracked open the door slightly to see what was going on. All she could see from that angle was Twilight. Twilight stood at the stage, rustling through papers, beginning over and over again to announce the next item, only to shake her head and move to another sheet.

After a moment of watching that, Applejack peeked through the hinge of the door, through which she could catch a small glimpse of empty rows of seats. In one corner she could just make out the tip of Fluttershy’s tail, but it didn’t look like anypony else was present.

She turned her attention back to the stage at the sound of papers flying through the air. Twilight had thrown the whole stack, crying out, “Well if nopony’s here, what’s the point, anyway?!” She huffed, tromping off the stage and back out of Applejack’s view, and a few voices chuckled inside.

Applejack softly shut the door, making sure the latch didn’t click loudly enough for anypony to hear. It was an unusual circumstance, even for her. Everypony was supposed to be here, to her chagrin. Instead, they were in town, in numbers greater than ever, falling over each other like the air was an aphrodisiac. Meanwhile, her marefriend was presiding over a meeting of nopony.

The realization hit Applejack like a sack of potatoes: She had grown so accustomed to this strange group, it seemed strange to watch it fall apart. And yet, for it to fall apart was all she’d wanted for weeks. Becoming accustomed to it was not something she was going to accept.

She knocked on the door.

The laughter stopped instantly. After what felt like far too many seconds for something as simple as answering a door, she ignored the lack of response and opened it herself.

Inside, at the table where lunch was usually served, sat Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Bon Bon, staring at the door with varying degrees of confusion. Unsure of what else to do, Applejack smiled uncomfortably and waved.

The assembled ponies broke their stare with the door to stare at each other. Then they turned back, staring at Applejack. Then, back to each other. And once more, back to Applejack.

Twilight was the first to break this pattern, smiling meekly and waving her in. Applejack took a few slow steps inside, and soon the rest of the small party was inviting her just as jubilantly. She sat down at the table with the others.

“Sorry to barge in,” she apologized, “but things are a might odd out there. Thought maybe y’all’d know why.”

“Odd?” Rarity inquired. “How so?”

“It’s like Hearts and Hooves day. Everypony’s… well, everypony’s got somepony else.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Twilight asked.

“Well, no, ’course not. Just… odd. Plus, nopony’s here.”

Rainbow chortled. “Well duh, with you gettin’ all smoochy wuvvy-duvvy with Twilight, why would anypony stay here?”

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack blushed slightly, glancing at each other for only an instant before looking away. The rest nodded along.

“Speaking of,” Bon Bon chimed in, turning to Fluttershy, “I hear you’ve been… ‘getting on’ with AJ’s brother.”

The pegasus pulled away from the table, allowing her pink mane to cover her now-red face. “Oh, well, yes, we’ve been… talking.”

Rainbow’s eyes widened. “Talking?!” Fluttershy slunk further away from her noisiness. “You’ve been dating for two weeks!”

“D–dating? No, we’re just friends, we’ve–!”

“Fluttershy, I saw you two making out two days ago!”

“Well, um, we only do that a little bit…”

Rainbow laughed, drawing Fluttershy back towards the table again. “Do you only kiss most of your friends ‘a little bit’? How come I’m not in on this deal?”

“B–but we can’t be dating,” she stammered, leaning against the table and staring at nopony in particular. “He’s so… big.”

Applejack veritably glowed, a reaction mirrored by everypony else except for Rainbow Dash and Bon Bon, who were laughing so hard they had to hold their sides, wheezing with each breath.

“I didn’t mean… I mean, I don’t know, but I… oh my…”

Applejack cleared her throat, urgently trying to change the topic. “So what y’all are sayin’ is, this little club you’ve got…”

The group exchanged glances. With a smile and an exaggerated flourish, Twilight summoned a gavel into existence and banged it against the table, announcing, “I hereby bring to a close the final meeting of Applejack Anonymous.”

Applejack furrowed her brow in confusion and looked at the others. They all looked as puzzled as her. “Applejack Anonymous?”

Twilight’s smile waned sheepishly. “Um… I thought maybe the group could use a name.”

Fluttershy scooted closer to Twilight and spoke low, but not quite quietly enough to not be heard. “Twilight, you realize we’re not anonymous, right? I mean, we could change some rules, but if this is the last meeting…”

“OK, OK, I was just trying something, the group doesn’t have to have a name!”

The group laughed together once more, and Applejack slid closer to her marefriend.

“So, y’know what this means, right? If there’s no ‘Applejack Anonymous’?” Applejack was growing increasingly excited with each word.

Twilight shook her head.

“That means there’s nothin’ special about us anymore!” Applejack announced, practically jumping. “We’re just two ponies!”

“Oh…” Twilight frowned and her eyebrows drooped. “Is that… good?”

“ ’course it’s good! And y’know what else this means?”

The unicorn didn’t even bother to shake her head this time; the fact that she had no answer was perfectly evident in her expression.

“It means you’ll be free later today.” Applejack grinned and made a small wink.

The rest of the group caught on more quickly than Twilight, each smiling and nudging each other in turn. Slowly, Twilight’s own smile returned.

“Pick you up at seven?” Applejack asked with a sly grin.

Twilight nodded.

That settled, Applejack decided it would be best to not return to town; she’d had enough crowds for one week. She took a long route to avoid downtown, winding through Ponyville’s residential streets. Unlike the town proper, the neighborhoods were mostly empty. In that sense, it wasn’t unlike any other Tuesday.

Applejack shook her head with a victorious smirk. Any former Tuesday. Now that was all behind her. She’d won!

Now with a skip in her step, she continued on her way back to the farm. She was almost disappointed when the rows of trees began, if only because she had nothing left to do. While she wasn’t one to allow her family to command her to do anything, they were correct: There was really nothing worth doing on the farm.

Or maybe not. There was one thing she always could do. Even on a Tuesday, if need be.

For only the second Tuesday in her memory, Applejack loaded and harnessed her trusty apple cart, and began pulling it into town.

Somehow, the strain of the multiple trips into and out of Ponyville didn’t get to her. She may not have been skipping into town towing the cart, but she was certainly smiling when she kicked it open and began hawking her wares.

It was a good day for business. Apples certainly weren’t roses, but her assortment of pastries made quite an impression on the crowds. She’d nearly sold out by lunch, and had to spend her lunch break baking more—a task which Pinkie Pie was happy to let her do at Sugarcube Corner under the condition that Applejack help there too.

She returned to the stand, carrying with her fragrant, fresh-baked apple treats. It wasn’t long before a line started to form at her stand.

“Hiya, Sturdy!”

Sturdy Foundation was at the head of the line, wearing her work gear, with belts full of tools carefully arranged about her waist and hooves unabashedly caked in mud. She nodded a silent hello while her eyes wandered to a fresh-baked apple pie.

“Good to see you, y’know, out and about on a Tuesday,” Applejack continued, voice dropping somewhat.

Sturdy raised an eyebrow. “Where else would I be?

“Y’mean… you’re not…”

“Not what?”

Applejack put a hoof to her head. “Never mind. Pie’s on the house. Thanks for helpin’ with my cart.”

Sturdy cheerfully took the pie, balancing it carefully on her back, nodded a silent goodbye, and left.

Applejack’s stock emptied quickly, as her various pastries turned into afternoon snacks. The line continued into the afternoon, but eventually died down. As the marketplace clock approached six, she readied herself to pack up as the last customer in the market approached the stand.

“Lyra, it’s good to see you.”

“Hey, Applejack,” the unicorn replied. “Two fritters please.”

Applejack smiled crookedly. “Two?”

Lyra pointed behind her, where Bon Bon was sitting on a bench, waving eagerly at them. “I told her I didn’t trust her around you, so I’m buying the snacks myself.”

Aghast, Applejack gawked at Lyra with wide eyes and hanging jaw.

For a few seconds, Lyra held her gaze. Then her lower lip began to quiver. Applejack closed her mouth and narrowed her eyes knowingly, and Lyra lost her composure, bursting into laughter. “Gotcha!”

“OK, OK, everypony’s a comedian.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Three bits.”

Lyra shuffled around in her saddlebag, then chuckled to herself. Instead of pulling out bits, she pulled out a very familiar-looking hat, and put it on, fumbling awkwardly to make it fit over her horn.

Instinctively, one of Applejack’s hooves went to her head. Her hat was still there. “What in tarnation–?”

“Ya like it?” Lyra asked, her voice lilting near laughter.

“Like it? It’s my hat!”

“I find it helps Bon Bon, y’know…” Lyra tilted her whole head in an exaggerated wink.

Blushing furiously, Applejack stammered uselessly, “Ah– uh– wha– y–”

Then she noticed that Bon Bon was laughing hysterically on her distant bench. Applejack huffed and tapped a hoof impatiently.

“I got you again!” Lyra almost fell over with laughter, but managed to dig out her bits and pay her due.

Hefting her bit bucket with one hoof, Applejack judged that it had been a good business day. Her stand was almost as heavy with bits as it had been with apples. Still, evening was approaching, so she started packing up.

She was leaning over to put away a barrel of apples when a whistle from behind her startled her into bashing her head against the stand.

Turning her head, she saw the culprit and groaned. “Candy Mane…”

Saying nothing in reply, the mare grinned and bobbed her eyebrows. It took several seconds for Applejack to realize that her posterior was dangerously within Candy Mane’s gaze, but when she did, she spun around so quickly that she had to close her eyes and hold her head to stop from getting dizzy.

“I preferred the kissing booth.”

“Yeah, Ah’ll bet you did.”

Candy Mane reached out and held Applejack’s head by the cheeks, in spite of the farmer’s objections. She leaned in, and Applejack leaned away.

“Twilight’s a really lucky pony, you know.”

Applejack stopped, allowing the fear to subside. “Ah… Thanks.”

She was pulled into a quick hug, then let loose, to watch her former admirer trot off happily.

It had been a good day. But now it was time to have a good evening.

With a swift kick, she closed her stand. Deciding that she’d walked back and forth too many times that day, she left it in the market; Ponyville was a safe town, there was no reason not to leave it, and her next stop was the library anyway.

On the way, since she was still early, she stopped once more at Sugarcube Corner, which had closed for the day. The Cakes were more than happy to have her assistance in cleaning up, whether she offered it or not, and before she knew it, it was nearly seven. She snuck out quietly, towards the library.

It occurred to her only after knocking that she wasn’t exactly dressed for a date, what with her not being dressed at all except for her hat. When Twilight opened the door, Applejack was relieved to find that her date was dressed the same. Twilight closed the door behind her, and took her place at Applejack’s side.

“So, what now?” she asked as they trotted through town.

“We never did finish that first date,” Applejack replied with a wink.

Twilight grinned and followed along.

As it turned out, finishing their first date wasn’t a particularly good idea. La Maison sur le Coin was, unsurprisingly, completely full of couples, to the point that tables intended for large parties had been reassigned to serve multiple pairs and the line of amorous ponies going out the door reached the end of the block.

Luckily, neither Applejack nor Twilight were particularly attached to the idea of a fancy meal in an expensive restaurant. Unluckily, the other options didn’t seem much better: Twilight’s favorite Coltenese place was full, Applejack’s favorite bakery was downright packed, even Subhay had no room.

After an hour of increasingly frustrated—and increasingly hungry—wandering, Applejack decided on a better plan. Well hay, Ah can cook. It’ll be late, but late dinner’s better than no dinner. She started heading towards Sweet Apple Acres.

It didn’t take long for Twilight to catch on. There weren’t too many other places that Applejack could have been heading towards in that direction anyway. Together they trotted towards the farm, wordlessly smiling together in the waning sunlight.

Applejack worriedly went through the possibilities in her head. Everything she could make seemed unsatisfactory. Sandwiches were too informal, she didn’t have time to roast vegetables, she had nothing in stock that could be fried; altogether, she feared it was going to be a rather bland dinner.

She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t even notice that Twilight had stopped until the unicorn loudly cleared her throat. Turning back, Applejack found that Twilight was looking over a small hill, nestled amongst the apple trees. The family had never bothered to plant there as the ground was hard and uneven, but it was a nice spot. Still, Applejack had no idea what Twilight’s interest in it was.

In a flash, the top of the hill was adorned with a checkered picnic blanket, candles and a small tray of corn burgers and hay fries.

“Twi, you really are amazing.”

Twilight just smiled and trotted up the hill, and Applejack joined her. She took one of the burgers in hoof and poked it nervously. It wasn’t every day that she was offered food summoned by magic, after all.

“It’s just a corn burger, Applejack…” Twilight reassured.

Reluctantly, Applejack took a bite.

Her eyes went wide. She finished the rest of it in one bite, followed by an unladylike mouthful of hay fries. “Twi,” she mumbled through a full mouth, “thith ith inhrehihull!”

She was lucky that Twilight carried little pretension from her youth in Canterlot, as she joined in with equal vigor. Soon the meal was gone, and the pair lay together on the blanket. Twilight watched the moon rise; Applejack watched Twilight.

When the stars came into view, Twilight pointed to the sky.

“That’s the Big Dipper.”

“Uh huh.” Applejack wasn’t looking up, but Twilight didn’t notice.

“There’s Orion’s Belt…”

“Uh huh.”

“And look, it’s dark enough out here to see Sapphus Mannis! That one represents–” She stopped when she looked over at Applejack, and noticed that the farmpony wasn’t looking at the sky. “Oh, I’m sorry… I’m being boring…”

“No you ain’t, Twi, you’re just bein’… well, Twi,” Applejack explained with a grin.

They shared a silent moment, gazing at each other before Twilight spoke again. “Applejack?”

“Yeah?”

“A while ago, you asked me why…” She looked away and her voice became meek and low. “Why I love you…”

“Yeah?”

She scratched the back of her head timidly. “So, um, why… why do you…”

Applejack stopped her inquiry with a kiss. They leaned into each other, pushing together as their tongues and hooves explored with increasing courage. When it ended, Twilight looked down bashfully, but wore a small smile.

It was the same small smile she always had when she wasn’t concerned with the trivia of life, but was allowing herself to enjoy its pleasures. She wasn’t planning anything, she wasn’t going down a “perfect date” checklist, she was just enjoying the time. And so was Applejack.

“That’s why.”

⁂

“Hey, Apple Bloom?”

“Howdy, Sweetie Belle! What’s up?”

Startled, the filly shrank into her multicolored mane under the completely harmless scrutiny of her fillyhood friend. She squeaked, “Can we talk?”

Apple Bloom barely even noticed how uncomfortable her friend was. “ ’course, Sweetie Belle!”

Sweetie Belle shrunk even further away, barely audible, but managed to mumble her plea. “Y–you like me, right?”

“Sure Ah do, you’re one of my very best friends!”

“I l–like you too, Apple Bloom.”

With a guffaw, Apple Bloom tried to quell whatever spirit of terror had inhabited her trembling companion. “Well Ah’m glad.”

“I like you… a l–lot…”

~fin~

Author's Note

That’s it! The end! Didn’t wrap up the loophole you wanted wrapped up? Then I guess you’ll have to write your own sequel!

A lot of people have asked in the comments how I write so quickly and consistently. The simple answer is that I don’t. If you look in my blog, you’ll see that I asked for prereaders and editors for this story on the 19th of August, 2012 (sorry if I didn’t respond when you asked… I ended up mostly finding people by other means after that more or less fell flat). That was posted when I’d finished the first draft of the first chapter. I released the first chapter shortly after finishing the first draft of the last chapter, i.e., this one. So if you thought your comments were strongly influencing the story… err, sorry, they weren’t :pinkiecrazy:. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your commends to no end, but… well, it’s so, so much less stressful this way. You have no idea. I recommend it for literally everyone.

On that note, I do have some ideas floating around for a new story, so if anyone is interested in pre-reading or editing a story that won’t even have chapter one written until some arbitrary point in the distant future, PM me.

Thanks again to the list below, and thanks to everyone for reading even if the shipping didn’t go the way you wanted it to. Friendship is Magic and such!

Editor: TheNitroPony
Cover art: Mr Snowpony
Prereading: Jackie, Gold and Mr Snowpony