How the Beatles Saved Equestria

“Could we please take a break Twilight? My hooves are killing me…” George mumbled to the lavender unicorn that was currently in the lead.

“That’s a great idea; I could definitely go for a smoke!” John stopped walking and awkwardly fumbled around his body, quickly realizing he didn’t have any possessions or even pockets. “Uh, do any of you girls happen to have a cigarette?”

Twilight turned around and gave him a very puzzled look, “A cigarette? What’s that?”

“Uh, never mind…” John quickly replied before catching up with the rest of the group. “I don’t think I can stand being a pony much longer; no cigarettes, no acid, I don’t even know if they have tea here!” He whispered to his bandmates who were trailing behind the six mares.

“Ah some tea would be great right now, or a pint!” Paul exclaimed with a grin before hurrying over to the rest of their group. “Hey do you girls know where to get a pint around here, or at least some tea?”

“Well actually my favorite tea shop is just down this street, it serves only the finest tea in all of Canterlot!” Rarity quickly chirped, obviously happy of the idea of taking a break. “Let’s go, it should still be open!” The prim unicorn glanced at the distant clocktower, surprised to see the quite late hour. The sky was now darkening, and Luna’s night would soon be ushered in.

“What, we can’t stop to sit around and drink tea!” Twilight yelled as she finally stopped walking. “We have to deliver these four to the Princess as soon as possible! The fate of Equestria is hanging in the balance!”

The nine other ponies stared at the flustered Twilight, whose breathing was now resembling that of a bull. Her face was turning a slight shade of red, and her expression was one of extreme annoyance.

“Yawn…” John mumbled as they continued to stare. “Now this is enough standing around, let’s go get some tea!” He hurried down the street and past the six mares, his fellow musicians soon following. Twilight merely stood with her mouth agape, and after a few moments her so called ‘friends’ followed them.

“Oh come on Twilight, what’s wrong with a few minutes of relaxation? Believe me; you really look like you need it…” Rarity commented before she too passed the unicorn and headed down the street.

Some friends I have… Twilight thought to herself before following them, sighing profoundly as she went.

“Uh, could I get another drink?” George asked as he once again dropped his cup, the soothing tea soaking the floor along with several large shards of broken china. The waitress sighed before retrieving his now third cup and placing it in front of him. He fumbled around with it with his hooves, much to the displeasure of the six mares. The ten of them were all seated at a large table, placed in the corner of the room beside some spacious windows.

“Honestly Twilight, how can these four clowns be heroes? Why didn’t the Princess just get us to save Equestria again? Like come on, we’ve already saved it two times…” Rainbow Dash complained as she continued to stare at them, puzzled at their very odd behavior and drinking habits.

“Well as much as I agree with you, the Princess told me to bring them to her. And I’m not about to just completely disregard her advice again…” Twilight sighed before she drank the last of her tea; placing the elegant, obviously expensive cup back on the table.

“Almost got it…” John said slowly as he gradually raised his hooves, his cup placed precariously between them. He brought the drink to his mouth, however before he could actually drink any of the warm beverage his hooves slipped. The cup smashed against the table, and the singer cursed in annoyance.

“Wow, you guys are really, really clumsy!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she watched them with glee, apparently happy with their antics.

“Hey we’re used to havin’ hands not bloody hooves! How am I supposed to hold anything with these stubby things?” John questioned while motioning to what he could only imagine were his front hooves.

“It’s easy, see?” Pinkie Pie effortlessly picked up her tea and drank it in one gulp.

John merely shook his at the pink pony and turned to his friends. “I sure hope we leave this place soon, I’m getting sick of being a pony.”

“Well I’m kind of enjoying this John.” Paul stated as he gazed out the window, no doubt more interested in the pacing mares than his drink. “Think about it; no reporters, no having to record every day, and no annoying publishers! It’s like a vacation!”

“Well I at least wish Yoko was here…”

The three other musicians sighed and rolled their eyes at the mention of the name.

“Let’s get going everypony, we’ve already wasted enough time as it is…” Twilight mumbled as she left her seat, looking back at her friends expectantly.

“Yeah, I give up trying to use these damn things...” George sighed as he smashed his cup yet again. “We really should be getting around to saving this place, don’t you think guys?”

“Eh, well I would have liked at least a few more minutes of relaxation, but I guess you’re right.” Paul got up from his seat and paced over to Twilight. The rest of the group soon followed, all except Rarity who at least wanted to finish her drink. After some more lecturing by Twilight she finally abandoned her beverage and joined the rest of them.

The ten of them piled out of the store and onto the street, giving annoyed sighs and stretches as they once again began their journey. “As you can see the castle is only right there.” Twilight stated while pointing a hoof to the now massive palace that towered over the rest of Canterlot. “So as long as you guys don’t wander off again then we should be meeting the Princess in only a few minutes!”

“Hey we’re not children you know, we can look after ourselves.” John proclaimed with a serious expression.

“Yeah, we’re probably more responsible and mature than all you girls!” Paul smiled, immediately after being jabbed in the ribs by George. “Ow, stop poking me George!”

“Well I’m bored, do you just expect me not to poke you when there’s nothing to do? I don’t have a bloody guitar on me, or even a ukulele!” George said in response while giving his friend a wide grin.

Twilight rolled her eyes at them as Paul poked the guitarist back, resulting in a large storm of flying hooves between the two. They finally settled down after John snapped at them, and with a sigh Twilight began walking down the street, the rest of them in perfect tow.

“Finally, Canterlot Castle! I honestly didn’t think it would take this long to get you four here…” Twilight muttered as the ten of them walked down one of the luxurious hallways. They had already passed a myriad of rooms; from hallways to dining halls, tea rooms to servants quarters, and several rooms that contained nothing in them at all expect various expensive paintings and sculptures.

“Wow, this place is even nicer than Buckingham Palace! Remember when we got those MBE’s? The Queen gave us the medals and everything!” John exclaimed as he looked at the passing paintings and landscapes with wonder.

“Yeah, but it would have been even better if we were knighted. I sure hope I am someday…” Paul mumbled with a dreamy look.

Twilight finally stopped at the end of the hall beside a pair of thick wooden doors, the rest of them quickly halted their pace. “Alright the throne room is right here, now I want you four to be on your best behavior in front of the Princess.”

“Oh of course!” John proclaimed, “She is royalty after all, even if she isn’t a queen.  Isn’t that right lads?”

The other three nodded and Twilight gave them a weak smile. “Alright; just please, please don’t do anything weird…” The lavender unicorn pushed open the door, and the ten of them entered the spacious room. At the far end of the room a large white unicorn was reading from a scroll, a pair of flowing wings jetting from her back. She looked up from her reading and smiled at them.

“Twilight, I’m very happy to see you made it!”

“And just as you wrote, I brought the four warriors Princess! Or at least who I think they are, I’m really starting to doubt them…”  Twilight said while glancing at the four musicians.

Celestia looked the four ponies over, and after a moment smiled again. “They’re The Beatles alright; you’re as reliable as ever Twilight, you came just in time.”

The lavender unicorn blushed, and turned to hide it from her friends. “I do have a question first... Why do you need these four, why can’t we just save Equestria again?”

“I don’t doubt you or your friend’s abilities, but you have to understand that you were only facing one of them. If Discord, Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis are indeed united then we’ll need some help.”

“With pleasure your highness!” John declared, stepping up from the group to give her a bow. “We’re not afraid of anything, isn’t that right lads?”

“Oh, uh yeah! Except for spiders of course…” George remarked quietly.

“And snakes too, I hate those slimy things…” Paul added, only serving to irritate John.

“Screaming fans, sharks, long bus rides, the dentist-” Ringo continued to list things off before he was cut off.

“Alright, we get the idea!” John snapped at them before turning back to the Princess. The alicorn merely giggled before speaking.

“They won’t do it on their own Twilight; they’ll of course need you and your friends to guide them.”

“Alright!” Rainbow Dash declared before pumping her hoof into the air. “I almost thought we wouldn’t get to see some action!”

“I took the liberty of getting you some instruments; they are a bit altered however.” Celestia stated before glancing at a servant, the next moment a few ponies entered the room with a full set of instruments. They handed them to the musicians, and all four of them stared at them in wonder.

“Blimey, this is one shiny guitar…” John remarked as he gazed at the two magnificent gems embedded in his guitar. One was magenta and star shaped, while the other was orange and in the shape of an apple.

“Each of those instruments contain an Element of Harmony; John you are the Element of Magic and Honesty. Paul, you are the Element of Laughter. George you are the Element of Kindness and Generosity, and finally Ringo you are the Element of Loyalty.”

Twilight looked up at the teacher in shock. “W-what?! You’re giving them the Elements? But we’re the Elements of Harmony!”

“They are merely using them for a short while Twilight, they can easily be shaped back into the necklaces and tiara after this is all over with.”

“These instruments are nice and all…” Paul mumbled while looking across his expertly crafted bass, surprisingly one of the best he had ever seen. “But how exactly are we supposed to fight with them? Personally I’d much rather vanquish evil with a sword than a bass guitar…”

“The Elements of Haromny,” Celestia began to talk in the same lecturing tone Twilight had heard a million times, “are the strongest sources of magic in all of Equestria. By playing your music, you should be able to channel said magic and defeat our enemies.”

“Uh, and how exactly does that work?” George questioned, completely perplexed at whatever she was trying to explain.

“Just play some music and you’ll beat whoever you’re fighting. I imagine they’ll turn them into stone, as they have done to Discord.” Celestia stated quite simply. “Also, I took the liberty of getting you all some clothes…”

Another servant entered, pushing a cart full of colorful costumes. All of The Beatles eyes lit up as they instantly recognized their colour coded uniforms.

“Alright, finally some clothes! It felt so weird running around naked…” Paul mumbled in relief as he grabbed his blue outfit, taking a moment to look over it to see any changes.

“Wow, these are just like our real Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band outfits!” John declared as he stared at his costume with wonder.

“Uh, what now?” Rainbow Dash asked, completely confused at whatever he had said.

“Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, It’s our band!” John quickly explained as if it was common knowledge.

“Uh, but I thought you were The Beatles?”

“We are, but we’re also Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band! Like I’m Ringo Starr, but I’m also Billie Shears!” Ringo explained as he put on his pink cap.

“Well, that just makes so much sense…” Rainbow Dash sighed, giving up at trying to grasp just what in Nightmare Moon they were talking about.

The four of them all stood clothed; now making them look even more bizarre then before. Twilight sighed while staring at them; she almost didn’t want to even be around them in public.

“Why don’t we play a song for the ladies, eh lads?” John suggested as he grabbed his overly luxurious guitar. The others nodded in agreement before gathering their instruments.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoJGDC10lZw)

John struck up the first chord, which his songwriting partner instantly recognized.

It was twenty years ago today,

Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play,

They've been going in and out of style

But they're guaranteed to raise a smile.

So may I introduce to you,

The act you've known for all these years,

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Celestia quietly hummed the song to herself as they played, as if having heard it dozens of times before. Twilight and her friends all looked on in amazement, all except Rarity whose facial expression easily showed her revulsion to the music.

We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,

We hope you will enjoy the show,

We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,

Sit back and let the evening go…

Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely,

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!

The four musicians adjusted to their instruments faster than before; though them being made of solid gold and silver created some difficulty. George and Paul missed several chords, though their small audience didn’t notice over the rest of the band.

You're such a lovely audience,

We'd like to take you home with us,

We'd love to take you home!

Paul smirked at the six mares, now only causing Fluttershy to blush in response.

I don't really want to stop the show,

But I thought that you might like to know,

That the singer's going to sing a song,

And he wants you all to sing along.

So let me introduce to you,

The one and only Billy Shears!

And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Billy Shears…

“What would you-” Ringo began to sing the next verse before he was cut off by John.

“Ah that was great; I think I’m finally getting used to being a pony!” John exclaimed as he placed down his exceedingly heavy guitar.

“Hey, I was just about to sing the next song! I never get to sing!” Ringo complained, now feeling very annoyed at his fellow bandmate.

“Come on Ringo, you can sing something later. We have to get around to saving these ponies, remember?” Paul stated, earning only an aggravated growl from their drummer.

Ringo almost dropped it right then and there, but he quickly recalled what Applejack had earlier told him. I can’t let them keep pushing me around; I have to stand up for myself!

“Well I-” He began talking, but was once again cut off, this time by a guard rushing into the room.

“Princess Celestia, the changelings are attacking Canterlot! They’ve already breached the lower area of the city; luckily there hasn’t been any sightings around the castle.” The guard quickly exclaimed, breaking the Princess out of her previously joyful demeanor.

“Changelings? Chrysalis is attacking already? I wouldn’t have expected this so soon…” Celestia sighed as she glanced at the floor. “Twilight, you and your friends have to help the Beatles save Canterlot. Go into the city, I’ll have to start looking around for Chrysalis, she’s bound to be here…”

“You can count on us!” Twilight exclaimed, all of her friends in unanimous agreement.

“Good, in this case you can carry their instruments…”

“Alright, roadies!” John yelled as he threw his guitar onto Applejack’s back and rushed for the far door. His bandmates did the same, even dropping Ringo’s drum set onto Rainbow Dash before she could move.

“I ain’t no mule, carry your own instruments!” Applejack exclaimed before pushing the guitars off of her.

“Get this stupid thing off me!” Rainbow Dash roared as she struggled against the weight of the drum set on her back, easily pinning her against the floor. “Twilight, help me out here so I can kill them!”

Twilight rolled her eyes before grabbing all the instruments with her magic. They levitated effortlessly in the air as she paced to the end of the room to follow them. “Don’t worry Princess, we won’t fail you!” The lavender mare called back to her teacher.

“I’m sure you won’t.” Celestia smiled back before casting a spell and teleporting out of the room, no doubt to begin her search for the Changeling Queen.

“Alright, let’s-” Twilight was suddenly cut off as the dozen guards in the room morphed from pegasi to changelings. “Uh, that isn’t good…”

“Don’t worry girls; we can take care of these guys!” John declared as he charged towards them; however he was almost instantly pounced on by several of them.

“Oh great job John, just leave this up to me…” Paul mumbled as he ran at the closest changeling, his clumsy hooves easily being avoided by the much more agile creature. The changeling grinned after he avoided another hoof, and then threw his own punch that sent the bassist tumbling to the floor.

“Uh, Ringo, how is it you’re in two places at once?” George questioned as he looked at an identical copy of his friend, his clothes even matching that of the drummer’s uniform.

“I don’t know, I was just about to ask you. Or whoever I thought was you...” Ringo replied as he also stared at a copy of the lead guitarist.

Twilight facehoofed, it seemed she and her friends would have to deal with this. “Well girls, I’m really starting to question how the Princess thinks these guys are heroes. Anyway, let’s just deal with these changelings…”

With the six ponies in the fray they easily turned the tide, despite them being slightly outnumbered. John and Paul continued to try their best to fight the changelings, but they proved hardly a match for the much more experienced fighters. George and Ringo however, were hardly fighting, as they were much more confused with the copies of their friends that kept appearing.

Thank goodness we’re here to help them; they wouldn’t stand a chance on their own… Twilight thought silently as she shot a spell at one of the changelings, the jet black creature slamming against the wall before slumping to the ground. Before long the six mares were able to defeat the changelings, and the purple unicorn turned back around with a smile.

“So, are you going to thank us for saving you?” Twilight asked, however she was surprised when she saw two of each Beatle. “Great, just how are we supposed to tell which one’s which?!”

“That’s easy, I’m the real John!” Both copies of John simultaneously shouted, before staring angrily at each other. “No you aren’t!” They once again yelled in unison before attacking each other. The room was soon filled with the copies fighting, as the mares merely watched in confusion.

“Well, we could ask them something that only the real one would know!” Pinkie Pie suggested as she skipped over to the lavender mare

“Like what? We know next to nothing about these guys!”

“Well we could just ask them what instrument they play…” Pinkie stared at her with a smile.

“Oh, right… Hey John!” Both John’s stopped fighting, and then turned towards the unicorn. “What instrument do you play?”

“Uh…” One of them mumbled as he stared blankly at her. The real John merely smiled.

“That’s easy, the guitar!” The fake was instantly hit by a spell from Twilight, breaking his disguise and revealing his scaly black hide.

“Now that you’ve gotten rid of the fake, let me deal with finding the imposters! None of these guys can fool me.” John grinned as he hurried over to the two drummers. “Ringo, what year did you join us?”

“1962!” He yelled as he continued to doge the blows from his copy.

“Yep, he’s real!” John declared, Twilight then quickly took out the fake. They did the same for George, before finally coming to the two Paul’s.

“Come on, this is obviously a fake! I’m the real Paul!” Paul exclaimed as he glared at his copy.

“I don’t know, do you guys think the real Paul would say that?” John asked the others with a smile. Both of the stallions looked identical, from their blue uniforms to their unmistakable face.

“Whichever one’s looking at his reflection the most is obviously the real Paul…” George smirked as he stared at the two of them.

“If only we had an album cover…” John sighed, however soon after one of the Paul’s knocked out the other.

“Your name middle name is Winston, we've released nine albums, and your wife is an obsessive maniac!”

“Right, right and wrong…” John gave him a scowl at the final remark. “Anyway, I guess you’re the real Paul. We probably should get around to saving this city, shouldn’t we?”

“Yes.” Twilight nodded in response before heading for the door. “More like me and my friend’s getting around to saving the city though…” She muttered quietly under her breath.