“Psst... Rainbow Dash? Hey, are you awake?”

It was late. Maybe too late… was she already asleep? She must be exhausted still from all that had happened earlier that day, and probably still recovering from whatever they had drugged her with when she was brought there. Lightning Dust considered waiting until the next night,

Then the blankets shifted in the darkness. Lightning Dust let out a slow breath and glanced over to the corner where Spitfire was, but she didn’t budge, not even a twitch of an ear.

“Come on, this is our chance. Just free me and we can make a run for it. We can escape,” she whispered.

“Leave me alone," Rainbow Dash said.

"But...” Lightning Dust bit her lip, but didn't try to argue. She knew it had been a long shot. “Fine, then, then just help me escape. Listen- Spitfire has me imprisoned here. I just need to get this chain off and I'll be gone.”

There was a long pause. She almost thought Rainbow Dash had somehow fallen asleep when she spoke again.

"Go where?"

Her wings twitched in their sheaths. There wasn’t anywhere to go. Rainbow Dash had to already know that.

"I- it doesn't matter. I just… I need to get out of here."

Lightning watched her faint outline, unmoving in the silver moonlight from the window.

She waited.

"I didn't think you were the type of pony to run away, Lightning Dust."

Her breath stopped as if she’d been slapped.

"No, I... you don't know anything about me!" She hissed, struggling to keep her voice down. "You don’t know what I’ve been through. Don't judge me, don't... just, just help me out. Just this once and I'll... you won’t have to deal with me.”

Rainbow Dash didn't say anything, and she felt panic rising like a fever.

“Dash, please…” she begged.

Nothing.

She wasn't going to help.

Lightning Dust sat down, eyes burning, her throat tightening until she thought she'd choke.

Trapped. No way out, no escape. She was alone. Trapped. No, no...

It was never going to end.

She couldn’t do this anymore.

She needed to, to… she didn’t know anymore.

The collar was too tight on her neck, the weight of the chain suddenly unbearable. Without thought, Lightning Dust lurched forward, drowning in the sharp clang of metal in her ears, the choking pressure. She strained against the taut chain, rising onto her back hooves, the collar clutching tighter and tighter at her neck. It was impossible, hopeless.

She'd never be free.

And she was alone. No one else, no one...

White spots appeared in her mind, her lungs burning before she let herself fall back, the chain going slack but the collar still too tight, she couldn't get enough air in. She gasped, gritting her teeth against the searing stabs of pain in her chest.

She would never get out. She couldn’t do anything. Trapped…

Quite suddenly there was a pony beside her, and she felt a hoof at her neck. She leapt away, terrified that it was Soarin again, or Spitfire had gotten fed up with her, or… or…

Instead, she saw the faint outline of a rainbow mane, and in her mouth, a soft gleam of metal.

She stood frozen as the other pony stepped forward, leaning in until her breath brushed against her fur.

There was a faint click, quiet and soft, yet in her ears it was as loud and sharp as if time itself had cracked and splintered. Then time seemed to slow. Or perhaps she wasn’t breathing.

A weight was taken off her neck, from the collar, then there was a sharp clatter of metal as it spooled on the floor. She couldn't move, keenly aware of the steady unmoving presence beside her.

With an effort she turned and found herself cowering before the other pony.

Neither spoke, neither one moved.

Shame overwhelmed her, so strong she wished she might sink into the floor and disappear. She was nothing compared to this pony who had been through hell and still stood tall. Rainbow Dash wouldn't run away, or only think of herself.

She took a step back on trembling legs. Tears burned in her eyes as she opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t speak. Still, Rainbow Dash stood there, waiting. But she wasn’t strong enough. Not anymore.

Sorry, Dash.

She ran.

Out in the night her breathing slowed, the desperation dampening in her chest- the sky was huge and empty but for some thin clouds, dim stars, and a shining half-moon behind her. Still, she kept running until the emptiness filled her vision, right to the edge of the cloudbank. Just one more step…

She stopped, the abyss inches from her hooves.

This was her chance. Her one chance to avoid a life of torture, of rape and imprisonment. Her one chance at freedom. Her one last damn chance before somepony else could force her into anything.

After so long of waiting and waiting, why couldn’t she move? She grit her teeth and willed herself to step forward, but her body refused to listen.

didn't think you were the type of pony to run away…

If she looked in a mirror, she wouldn’t recognize the pony staring back.

“Is this really what you want?” A rough voice asked from behind her. She looked over her shoulder at Rainbow Dash, far enough away that if she jumped she couldn’t stop her.

“I… I don’t know.” She turned back to the thin clouds below. It was a long way down. Would it hurt? In all her life she couldn’t remember looking down like that, the strange turning in her stomach so different from the rush of adrenaline before a race. She had always been looking up, looking ahead. She felt nothing like Lightning Dust.

“How did you get caught?” Rainbow Dash asked, coming closer.

She tried again to convince herself to make that step, but then again, it wouldn’t hurt just to talk for a minute. One minute. Or five. Quite suddenly she realized how badly her legs were shaking. Minutes left…

She sank down, her chest shuddering as she gasped for air. Without a word Rainbow Dash slowly approached and sat at her side. She didn’t try to stop her, or fight, or plead. Just stayed beside her and waited.

“I… I didn’t even know the invasion was happening,” she said finally. “That day I’d been doing some weather cleanup, normal stuff. Then out of nowhere a bunch of pegasi started going crazy and attacking others. I didn’t realize it was only mares being attacked at that point, so I went to check on my coltfriend. I thought he might be in trouble. I never thought, wasn’t thinking that he’d… that he could…” her voice died away.

“I’m sorry,” Rainbow Dash whispered.

“He never would have done that.” Lightning said quickly, surprising herself. “He would never have hurt me like that- he was sweet and calm and always there for me. You know, the day I left the Academy, the first thing I did was go to him. He let me cry and comforted me when I felt there was nothing left in the world…I-”

She thought back to the night she’d returned. Remembered how surprised he was, thinking it was just a visit before she admitted the truth- a dishonorable discharge. She hadn’t even lasted a week. A part of her was afraid he’d abandon her, betray her like Rainbow Dash had.

“I was furious with you, you know that?” She stood and facing the blue pegasus, and the hot rush of anger was far better than the pain. “It was your fault I got kicked out. It was you who went and ratted me out to Spitfire. You… you ruined my one dream to become a Wonderbolt! You know, for months I wanted to get revenge. All these stupid, idiotic ideas… And my coltfriend? He let me fume and plan, he let me say all these stupid things, but when I started getting too serious he talked sense into me, stopped me from doing anything too crazy. He was my friend.”

A breeze passed them, a rush of cold.

“He wouldn’t have hurt me like that.”

Except he had.

The hot surge of anger left, and she was left cold and numb. She sat down, not looking up because she couldn’t bear to see the disappointment with what she said next.

“I think it was my fault.” She whispered. “I-I didn’t fight back when it happened. Didn’t even struggle, I just… froze. If I hadn’t been so weak maybe I could have…” She closed her eyes, wondering if she should have kept these thoughts buried. Why? Why didn’t she fight?

“Lightning Dust-”

“I was so stupid!” she said through gritted teeth. “If I’d just fought back maybe it wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have hurt me and I wouldn’t have been captured and his friends wouldn’t have come and… and…”

She felt a wave of nausea surge at the memory. How his friends had flown into his house as he was finishing. She had struggled then, knew that they hadn’t come to help. But then it’d been four on one. He let them take turns at her, not caring how she screamed and cried. They plucked her wings as they forced themselves inside. She couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything to stop it. The pain, the shame of it was… it was too much. She couldn’t breathe.

“-Dust? Hey, it’s not happening, you gotta breathe.”

There was a hoof on her shoulder and a nearby voice pulling her from the memory. She blinked and again saw the empty night sky, felt the cool air on her fur, and Rainbow Dash close beside her. Her shuddering breaths slowed as she forced herself to relax, to not remember. She should have known better than to touch that memory. Anything so she didn't have to think about the pain, the humiliation.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

She shook her head.

“Why didn’t I fight back? What did I do wrong?”

“I don’t know. And that’s a lame answer, I know that. But I don’t think you should blame yourself for what somepony else did. They’re the ones that did something wrong. Just because you froze, or you didn’t fight… that doesn’t make it your fault. Your coltfriend, those stallions- they shouldn’t have hurt you like that.”

She wanted to believe her, to be reassured. Then her eyes lingered on Rainbow Dash’s hoof, the bright white bandage, and she glanced at her bruised face and she felt terrible again.

“I shouldn’t even be talking. What happened to me was nothing compared to what you went through.”

“That’s… that’s not right.” Rainbow Dash said slowly. “Yeah, what they did to me- it was bad. It was really bad. But that doesn’t make what you went through any less painful. And being betrayed by your friend? That’s awful.”

They sat there, and Lightning Dust was aware of a swirl of emotions and thoughts running through her mind and reminded herself why she was out there in the first place. She leaned over the edge and then leaned back. It was a very long way down.

“At least you’re still willing to fight. Not like me,” she said bitterly. “I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go through that again. And I’m just…. I’m tired of being trapped, you know?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash breathed out, sagging her shoulders. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”

“If I don’t do this now, I’ll get hurt again,” she said, not sure if she was trying to convince Rainbow Dash or herself. “There’s no way we can keep this up forever. One day they’ll find us and torture us, and I won’t get another chance. I just don’t want any more pain. I guess that makes me a coward.”

“Don’t be stupid, no you’re not.” Rainbow Dash said brusquely. “Even I know that.”

“But you’re right! I am running away. And look at you!" She said, waving a hoof towards her. "They freakin’ tortured you and you still want to fight, knowing darn well what they’ll do if you get caught.”

“Well, yeah, of course, I’m fighting back. My friends are counting on me, I can’t let them down. Not again.” She went very quiet, leaning forward to hide her face. “I can’t give up on them. I won’t. Even if there’s not a chance in the world, I’ll keep fighting.”

Lightning Dust felt a shiver run up her spine, and looked back towards the empty sky.

“You really are a better pony than me," she muttered.

“Ok, usually I like when ponies tell me how awesome I am, but not like that. You’re not that bad. Even with all that stuff from before.”

“At the Academy, you mean," Lighting Dust said slowly, not sure if she even wanted to bring up that can of worms. "About that- why are you even helping me? After everything I did?”

"Come on, I couldn’t just leave you freaking out like that. We were friends once, and, yeah… I guess we’re not anymore. I get it- you hate me, you lost your dream because of me. But that doesn't mean I don't still care about you."

"Yeah, ok maybe I did hate you. A bit. It's complicated,” Lightning admitted, not wanting her to know just how deep that hate ran. “But I don’t get it. I was sure you hated me. I mean, I nearly killed your friends in a tornado. And just today- you couldn't even bear to let me touch you earlier, don't think I didn't notice!"

"That wasn't because-" Rainbow Dash said, then bit her lip. "That wasn't why." She said more softly.

Oh, Lightning Dust thought, suddenly realizing she may have misread the situation, and just as quickly realizing she didn't need to know the real reason.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her foreleg absently, brushing up and down against the white cloth covering her torn flesh, staring at something far, far away.

"It wasn’t just you. I didn't want anyone to touch me. You have no idea… no idea what they did to me. What they made me do. I..." she gulped in air, and Lightning Dust was almost afraid of what she might say. "If you knew, you wouldn't want to touch me either. If you knew how filthy, how, how disgusting... It's not something you can wash away."

"Dash, it's ok," Lightning Dust said and laid a hoof on her shoulder.

Rainbow Dash jumped up, backing away. "Don't! You- you shouldn't be comforting me. You don’t understand. I failed Equestria. I ran away when I… I betrayed them. My friends. When they were counting on me I ran. I messed up. I really messed up. I don't know how to fix this.”

"Hey, maybe you did mess up, we all do. Now you've got a chance to fix it. That's... that's why you're fighting, isn't it? For your friends? That's... I mean, I don't how good you are at friendship because ours sure imploded, but I think you'll figure it out. I don't know how, but there's gotta be something, right?"

"You really should hate me."

"Too bad, I don't,” Lightning said, and found she was smiling.

Rainbow stared at her for a moment, watching her face, then sat down beside her, tense as if waiting for Lightning to jump away, but she only shifted closer. They sat there, inches from the edge of the sky.

She hadn’t realized that Rainbow Dash was struggling with those ugly thoughts too, and it didn’t seem fair. Rainbow Dash didn’t deserve that. Glancing over at the pale blue mare, she decided that she was tired of hating her. More than that, she missed being friends.

“Hey, Dash? I’m sorry about before, for being such a jerk, and, you know… almost killing your friends.”

Rainbow Dash raised her head and turned to her.

“And I’m sorry that I got you thrown out. I didn’t want that to happen, it just-“

“Whatever,” Lightning Dust said with a wave of her hoof. “I probably would have gotten kicked out eventually.” It was strange how easy she could forgive her after how close she’d held that grudge to her heart. She thought vengeance would have felt really good, but this was pretty nice.

"We would have made a pretty great team," Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah." She rubbed the back of her head and looked over at her. “So… we’re cool?”

Rainbow Dash grinned and she couldn’t help but think how cute she looked despite the swollen eye and split lip.

“Yeah, we’re cool.”

A grin split her face. Just like that, everything seemed different.

A tremendous weight was lifted. Her shoulders relaxed, the pressure on her heart, the perpetual tension slipped away. She felt… ok.

She was Lightning Dust again.

She wasn’t the scared, helpless filly who had run out there. Nothing had changed, not really. But she didn't feel so helpless, so alone. Together they watched the high clouds drift among the stars and could almost pretend they were free. For once, she thought that maybe there really was some hope in a hopeless situation.

“Do you… still want to run away?” Rainbow whispered, the words almost lost on the wind.

Lightning Dust looked out through the emptiness and felt within for that part of herself that had been so desperate to flee, that would have let her take those last few steps, and found it had fallen as silent as the sky.

"No, not anymore. Change of plans I guess. Besides, fighting against those dumb caribou does sound more fun."

Rainbow Dash laughed at that, and it was like Lightning had done something right, for once.

"Come on, let's get back," Lightning said, standing and stepping back. "It's freezing out here."

The desire to fall had passed and was replaced with an urge to go kick something instead- an all around much better mood. Although at that moment, sleep sounded nice. She turned toward the house and thought there was somepony standing at the open door, or perhaps only a shadow.

“Hey, do you see…” She turned and realized Dash was struggling just to stand. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Rainbow stretched a leg and winced. “They’ll have to do better than that to keep me down.”

“Darn right.” She leaned up beside her and automatically tried to stretch a wing over her back and hissed when she felt sharp stabs in her wing instead. At least Dash didn’t pull away.

When she looked up again the shadow was gone, and everything was still and quiet when they stepped inside to the bedroom, walking slow as Rainbow limped along. The room as dark and quiet as when they’d left, but it didn’t feel so small anymore.

Lightning helped Rainbow Dash settle down on the rumpled pile of blankets, noting how she cradled her hoof and how heavy her head seemed as she lay it down. She must have been exhausted, and still in pain. And yet she had helped her when she really needed it.

“You can stay if you want.” Rainbow Dash said quietly as Lightning hesitated, glancing at her own lonely little cushion along the wall beside the chain.

“Eh, if you insist.” She shrugged and hoped Rainbow Dash couldn’t see the stupid grin on her face as she nestled onto the soft blanket. She took another blanket in her teeth and tossed it over both of them, like fillies at a slumber party.

It wasn’t long before Rainbow Dash began to snore. She lay her head down and closed her eyes, lulled by the gentle breathing and the warm, soft presence beside her.

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Author's Note

This chapter took a bit longer than I expected, it was harder to write than I thought.

In regards to Lighting Dust's story, it might sound strange but freezing up is the most common response to rape, and can be one of the hardest parts of the trauma to overcome because it creates so much self-doubt and blame.
Also, for Lightning Dust's motives, it’s less about wanting to die, per say, (although there is that) but it’s more that she’s trying to regain the control she’s lost (a common coping mechanism, for better or worse).