“Um..ex-excuse me, sir?”
“Dazed and confused” are the first two words to pop into my head, but at first I couldn’t even grasp their meaning. As I struggled to open my eyes and my senses began to return in force, I came to the realization that I had been describing myself. A flood of information was crashing down upon me, from the smell of flowers wafting on the gentle breeze, to the heat of the sun on my back, to the blades of grass that were slowly coming into focus as my eyesight strained to return. It was all so strange, yet at the same time familiar. I had no recollection of anything before, well, now…and yet the names for what I was sensing came to me, as from out of a dense fog. I reached for the source of this information, for memories of prior experiences, but I was fruitless. My efforts to understand where I was and what I was sensing only resulted in me getting a minor headache and finding more questions than answers. I was much too preoccupied with this internal struggle to notice the quivering voice that had marked my arrival into consciousness.
“S-sir, are you alright? Do you need help?”
The second time I did hear, however. Coordination of my limbs was not something that I had apparently yet regained. My eyes had, however, adjusted to the light by now, so using what little strength I could muster I managed to flop my head into a position from which I could see who had spoken to me.
As I shifted my gaze to my addresser, my confusion only increased. The voice that had so tenderly been spoken belonged to a…a horse? No, that’s not right. ‘Horse’ seemed like a crude misnomer for some reason, whatever being was currently standing over me had the flowing outline of an angel. Regardless, it was clearly a member of the fairer sex, and whatever thing she might be, she was beautiful. As I looked her up and down, her flowing pink mane and the light yellow fur that covered her body, along with her wings and the strange marking on her flank all seemed to make horse a less adequate term. No… pony, the word ‘pony’ felt…more right. Once again I was frustrated by being unable to remember anything that might tell me why I thought this was odd, or how I even knew to call her a pony, a thing about which I couldn’t ever remember learning about or seeing. I just…knew. Dashing what would quickly become a familiar feeling aside, I resolved to simply accept what I couldn’t explain and deal with the more immediate issue.
I opened my mouth to speak, but I could only manage a whisper. “Help me…p-please.”
“Oh my, you really DO need my help!” she yelped frantically. “Don’t you worry one bit, I’ll be back right away!”
She flew off with unexpected haste. The effort required to say even that much was enough to send me back off to the abyss. When I next awoke, I no longer found myself lying on grass, but a bed, with soft light coming in through a window near it. The light was significantly reduced compared to what I had seen when I first awoke. It was clearly late evening now.
“…So you just found him outside your cottage?” said a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Yes, but I have no Idea how he got there in the condition I found him in,” I heard the soft voice of the mare I had seen earlier reply.” Doctor…is…is he going to be alright?”
“He should be fine now that he’s got some fluids and meds in him. He’s stable, if anything. Whoever he is, he’s lucky you found him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a bad case of exposure in all my years of practice. I can only imagine that he somehow got lost in the Everfree forest and was lucky enough to get to your cottage.”
Being that I was lying on my side, I tried to turn towards the two who were speaking, but still found myself exceedingly sore and having little strength to move. I only managed about a half turn, groaning with the pain from moving my stiff limbs. My efforts, however, did not go unnoticed.
“ahh good, he’s awake.”, said the unfamiliar voice. “Nurse Redheart! Let’s get some food to this poor pony! I’m sure he’s starving!”
“Right away, Doctor Stable.”, replied another unfamiliar voice, and rather unenthused.
Then, addressing me, who I now had to assume was a ‘Doctor Stable’, ” We have many questions for you, Mr…uh…well… lets’ start with that then, What’s your name? The kind mare who rushed you here said that she was never able to ask you that before you passed out again.”
Still unable to look forward, I was once again grasped by that awful feeling of knowing yet unknowing, a feeling that was slowly leading towards a quiet panic.
“My name?” the horror of the vast void that seemed to exist within my memory contorted my face into a wide eyed grimace. ‘WHO AM I?’ the question seared across my brain. Perhaps more importantly, what am I? Moving my legs slightly and feeling fur, my fur, brush against the sheets of the bed as well as the hooves at the ends of my legs, I had to deduce that I must also be a ‘pony’. Besides, I was pretty sure I had been referred to as one earlier by Dr. Stable. The doctor, Celestia bless him, couldn't have ever guessed the gravity of the existential crisis that was going on inside my head.
“Yes son, that’s what I said.” He replied somewhat quizzically.
With extreme effort, I once again forced the confusion from my head, though my face remained strained.
“Here…perhaps you’d like to have this conversation face to face” I felt hooves gently maneuver my slowly strengthening body from my side onto my back, giving me a view of the rest of the room. The pony who was talking to me presently was a tan unicorn with brown hair wearing the garb customary to all doctors. His face was painted with worry as he addressed me, Iikely due to the expression that still hung on MY face.
“Now, about that name…”
I wheezed a little as I found my voice again, my throat still feeling like the desert. “*wheeze**cough*…I…I don’t know…” I replied, the panic beginning to set in again as I realized I wouldn’t be able to answer any of his questions.
“I don’t know my name” I admitted flatly.
I
looked around the room to find the butter colored mare again, finding her sitting close behind the Doctor. Her expression one of genuine sorrow, I could not help but feel a little bad that I had been a burden to her.
“Oh gosh, that’s simply awful”, the sympathy in her quiet voice assuaged my panic somehow. Just looking at her, the tension building within me unwound and my face unclenched, and I found myself staring into her azure eyes. She was far more than just beautiful. I suppose I must have stared for quite some time, because, meekly, she hid her face behind her mane and backed away from the bed a little putting the doctor between her and me.
“I..uh..” she fumbled. I realized what I had been doing a little too late, and stuttered with an apology, before the doctor, who had watched the exchange with impatience, purposefully interrupted me.
“You mean to tell me that you have no idea what your name is? Then I assume you probably don’t remember what you were doing that put you near death at the edge of the Everfree forest, do you?” He asked incredulously.
“No, I don’t” I said downwardly, staring at my hooves and fiddling with my IV, more than a little embarrassed about what had just transpired. My face was hot. As I stared at my hooves, I began to wonder why I was so perplexed by the mare when I had first seen her, trying to determine what she was when I too was a pony.
“That’s just fantastic!” by Dr. Stable’s tone, one could tell he meant quite the opposite. ”a full blown amnesia victim, just what I needed today!” he exclaimed, facehoofing and groaning simultaneously.
“I got the grub you ordered, Dr. Stable!” Nurse Redheart said as she popped back into the room, significantly more enthusiastic then earlier,” A daisy sandwich, salad on the side with some of ponyville’s very own apple juice, and a cupcake for dessert.”, placing the plate down on the bedside table. Eyeing the sandwich as it approached, I suddenly realized I was extremely hungry. As soon as she set the plate down, I was devouring the sandwich in great ferocious bites, occasionally slurping on the apple juice.
Seemingly oblivious to my disturbing display, Dr. Stable continued, “Look, from a medical standpoint, you’re almost fully recovered, and I have ponies’ in more dire condition that’re going to need that bed soon. Besides the extra paperwork related to spending resources and time on a pony with no medical record, insurance, or name to charge the expenses too…,” he visibly cringed at every point on the list,”…my work with you is done. I can’t have you in here taking up space, especially with no leads on your identity.”
Dr. Stable sighed, “I know this must all be very confusing to you, and that you must be extremely worried, but you’re going to need to find a place to stay in town while I work out getting you set up with a psychiatrist. Since you probably don’t know, you’ve landed yourself in the quaint little town of Ponyville. This is Ponyville Medical, and as I’m sure you know by now, I am Dr. Stable. The Mare who saved your life…” he said, stepping aside to keep her from hiding,” is Fluttershy”.
She stepped right back behind him however, though I think I might have heard a feeble hello coming from her general direction.
Having finished my sandwich, I put aside the apple juice. It was certainly easier to talk now that I had had something to drink.
“Find a place to stay? I don’t even know where to start…the only pony I know besides you is Fluttershy.” At this point I was already envisioning myself sleeping in the streets and begging for food. The idea didn’t really sit well with me. At the mention of her name, Fluttershy crept back into view with the same comforting sympathetic look on her face as earlier.
“Kid, I really don’t have the time to deal with this right now. If you really can’t find a place to stay I’ll make sure to tell the security not to kick you out of the lobby tonight, you can sleep there.”
Fluttershy piped in as politely as she could,” Excuse me, but I wouldn’t mind at all if he stayed at my cottage. If it’s alright with you, doctor…I mean, only if he wants to.”
Taken slightly aback, “Fluttershy, I think you’ve already helped enough today. Are you sure you want to do this, having to foalsit a full grown stallion?” Dr. Stable said, turning to face her.
“Hey! I heard that!”, I shouted angrily.
Ignoring my protests completely, “Oh no, I insist. I’m sure he won’t be too much of a hassle, he seems well behaved enough” Fluttershy replied to Dr. Stable, Still talking about me like I was a foal.
This time Dr. Stable leaned in closely to Fluttershy, I could only barely make out what he said,“We don’t know anything about this pony, Fluttershy, he could be anyone! An escaped convict maybe! I don’t doubt that he has lost his memory, I deal with enough mentally unstable patients to know when someone is lying, but we don’t know who he could be if he suddenly gets his memory back while he’s at your cottage.”
“Doctor, I appreciate your worrying about me, but I am confident in few things about myself, and my judge of character is one of them.” She leaned over to steal a glance at me,” I can tell that he is a good pony.”
I was flattered by this statement, but I couldn’t help but wonder if the doctor’s worries held merit. I knew as much about myself as they did. I certainly didn’t feel like a bad pony, but how I ended up in the woods in the first place was still a question nagging at my mind. Regardless, sleeping in the hospital lobby was a great deal less desirable than having a bed to sleep in. the fact that I would get to spend more time with Fluttershy may have been a small factor in my decision.
“I’m right here. I literally heard everything you two just said.”, I said a little loudly and flatly, ensuring that they did not ignore me anymore.
Turning back towards me, “I suppose if you were staying with her, I would be able to keep closer tabs on you, and you’d be easier to contact in regards to your ‘condition’. Well then, as long as Miss Fluttershy over here is truly okay with it,” he shot her a bit of a look,” then I see no reason why you couldn’t lodge at her house. What do you say?”
“Yes, that would be great!” I said, smiling broadly at her. She responded with her own restrained smile. In the back of my mind I had a feeling that I might never get my memory back. If that were to be the case, then I considered this an okay start to my new life.
“Then it’s settled,” Dr. Stable sighed,” I will be sure to contact you as soon as possible about arranging some therapy sessions to try and unearth those memories. If we get desperate, I suppose we could always try hypnotism as well…” he trailed off.
Shaking away whatever errant thought he was having, “Anyway, if you’re strong enough to stand…”
Without further prompting I tested my limbs, which were all still sore, but enough of my strength had returned to them for me to be able to move them all. Not very easily, mind you, but good enough that at least trying to stand seemed reasonable enough.
“…Then we ought to start making arrangements for you to be discharged.” He finished.
I edged myself to the side of my bed and slowly lowered myself off with the help of both nurse Redheart and the Dr. Stable. At first my four legs were like wet noodles underneath me, but as I took my first steps (still assisted by Nurse Redheart) I could feel my coordination coming back. I don’t know what meds they gave me, but I was feeling much better much more quickly then I could have imagined. After just a few minutes of walking around, I felt sure enough on my legs to walk unaided. All the while, Dr. Stable watched with a somewhat exasperated look upon his face as he absent-mindedly filled out what I can only assume were discharge papers, pausing to ask an orderly passing in the hallway to get a wheelchair. Finally confident in my ability to walk on my own, I looked expectantly towards the doctor. As if on cue, the wheelchair the doctor had requested rolled on in.
“If you’re ready, it is standard hospital protocol that patients leaving are wheeled out.” He gestured towards the wheelchair. As I sat down in the poorly padded seat, the irony of the fact that I had spent the last fifteen minutes learning to walk again only to be brought out in a wheelchair was not lost on me.
As I was being wheeled from the room by the orderly with Fluttershy in tow, Dr. Stable facehoofed, “I nearly forgot! You’ll probably be wanting this,” he pulled a chain with a strange amulet at the end of it from out of the pocket of his lab coat. “You were wearing it around your neck when she found you. I honestly can’t make heads or tails of it, but perhaps it will help jog your memory.”
As he handed it over and I got a good look at it, all hope of a sudden flood of recognition faded instantly. This object was even more foreign than everything else I had encountered so far. Unlike most things I had come across, I couldn’t even get the name of what it was. It was entirely covered in extremely small inscriptions, illegible not only for their smallness but due to the fact that they appeared to be in some other language. Thousands and thousands of small overlapping symbols scaled the amulet’s pentagonal surface, with a single gem in the center that seemed to give off its own inner light. The gem had a hairline fracture running across its middle, and the faint glow seemed to flicker irregularly. Perhaps it was my imagination or the way the light struck the polished surface, but I could have sworn I saw the runes moving and changing as well, some symbols slowly bending and folding into others. Disappointed yet intrigued, I slipped it around my neck once more, having no more convenient way to carry it. It was slightly warm against my chest.
Having been wheeled out the door and allowed to dismount the chair by the orderly, I began my awkward, yet somehow pleasant walk with Fluttershy to her cottage.
“Come on, the cottage isn’t too far, just follow me.” She said demurely.
I trailed behind her obediently. I am a little ashamed of it, but I do distinctly remember thinking ‘hmm, that mare sure does know how to move her backside’. I sped up a little to get alongside her, thinking it would probably be better for my conscience if I didn't objectify the mare who had been so willing to show me compassion and kindness. It seems funny now, but I’m pretty certain I would have stared at her flank the whole way to her cottage had I stayed behind her. Not exactly something I’m proud of. As we walked side by side with the moon peaking over the horizon, two things struck me. First was that she smelled fantastic (I was letting my infatuation go a bit too far, I fear), some fragrance akin to a bouquet of roses. Second, that she had waited the majority of the day at the hospital to see if I would be okay. Me, a complete stranger who had appeared seemingly out of nowhere on her property, and she was willing to wait the whole day to see if I would be fine and on top of all that give me a place to stay the night afterward. Few have ever felt the kind of gratitude I felt at that moment. It burst out of me in a rush of emotion as I quickly gathered her into a hug. I hadn’t realized it but I had started crying a bit as I had walked along side her. Maybe the meds they had given me were working a little too well.
She let out an “-EEP”, as I unexpectedly wrapped my forelegs around her and sobbed into her mane. I’m positive she was thoroughly uncomfortable with this, but I couldn't hear her tentative objections over the sound of my own muffled cries. It was like all the emotion that I had been resisting and suppressing the whole day was poured out into gratitude for the beautiful mare who’d saved me. I didn’t fail to note that in addition to smelling good, her mane was also incredibly soft.
“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for all you’ve done for me”, I spouted, mostly unintelligibly into her mane.
H
er initial fright at my sudden outburst transformed into sympathy, it was really amazing how she did that. “There, there, we each know you’ve had a rough day”, she said calmly, patting me on the back slowly.
My eyes began to dry up, but I really didn’t want to let go. I pulled back to look at her face, “You stayed there for me…I never asked anything of you …and now you’re giving me a place to stay*sniffle*”
“It’s not a big deal…really…I don’t mind. I couldn’t possibly have just left you there without making sure you were okay, especially when your condition was so dire.” She said humbly.
With that I released her, once again a bit embarrassed for the way I had acted towards her. She tidied up her now somewhat frizzy mane, and we began walking again.
“I’m sorry about that sudden outburst”, I said, regaining my thin composure, my thoughts again straying to how medicated I must be.
“This has all been so weird; I’m just having trouble coping…” I said, downcast.
“I wish I could say I understand, but I’m really not sure I can imagine what you must be going through right now…”, she said, looking over at me. Those eyes again.
“That’s okay, I don’t think I could’ve expected you to”, both of us had taken a solemn demeanor.
We spent the rest of the walk to her cottage silently. I considered apologizing for my behavior around her in the hospital, the way I had stared…or did we stare into each other’s eyes? Maybe I did have shot with her. Anyway, I decided against it. It would be simpler to just let her chalk up my odd behavior to trauma and drugs then having to explain myself, the way I felt about her despite having only just met her.
We reached her cottage with the moon still low along the horizon. Her home was a little odd, but, that was no different than how I felt about most things I had encountered so far. I was not exactly sure how the thatch roof could be made of living grass, though. There were small animals running around freely here and there, and from the looks of things inside her house and outside, she seemed to be some sort of caregiver. I walked in the door behind her, taking in the sights and sounds of my new temporary home. It was really a reflection of her personality; humble and quaint.
“You can sleep on my bed tonight, I’m fine on the couch. My room is upstairs”, at this point I didn’t really have the strength to argue with her. Her couch did look a good deal comfortable, but that didn’t make me feel any less imposing.
“Tomorrow I’ll show you around town and introduce you to my friends, and maybe you could help care for the animals as well. I know one of my friends in particular who will definitely be interested in that amulet of yours, she might even be able to help you get your memory back. Wouldn’t that be wonderful! Oh, I also have a few errands to run, but that’s all. You know… as long as that’s fine with you”, she said as she lay down on the couch. I simply nodded in agreement. An oddly angry looking rabbit jumped past me and settled down next to her. Tapping his foot quickly, he pointed at me with a questioning look upon his face.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I forgot to mention. This is my pet rabbit, Angel.”, she said motioning towards him.
“Angel, he’ll be staying with us for as long as it takes for him to get his memory back, or at least until he can support himself”, she said, addressing the rabbit.
This answer did not appear to make Angel very happy. He simply crossed his arms with the same angry look on his face.
“Now Angel, he’s our guest, you have to be polite. He’s been through a lot today.” With that, Angel yielded and snuggled down next to her. Minus the glare he gave me, he really was quite adorable.
Something about this rabbits stare disturbed me slightly though. He eyes were fixed to me as I made my way to the steps. As I was turning to go up them, I looked back just in time to catch the rabbit motioning towards his eyes with a paw, and then pointing at me. The message was clear. I quickly stole away up the steps as she settled down to sleep, wanting to get my mind away from that rabbit. Who knew small furry creatures could be intimidating. All thoughts about the rabbit, the fact that she trusted me perhaps a little too much, or even about the possibilities that tomorrow held were swept away as soon as I walked into her room. It wasn’t because the room itself was in any way special, but rather the first thing I saw when I walked in was, well, myself. Her room was arranged so that her vanity (a bit ironic considering who it belonged to) was right across from the doorway. I had never actually seen what I had looked like before. Slowly putting my hoof to my face, I confirmed that it was in fact my reflection I was seeing. I never thought I’d be light green. For some reason this thought hadn’t occurred to me all the times I’d seen my hooves and body from my periphery. Everything about me was so alien. I didn’t even recognize my own face. I didn’t fail to notice the mark on my flank, either; a golden seven pointed star. Perhaps the most surprising piece of my anatomy was the large horn protruding from my forehead through my mane. How did I not notice that before? Looking away from the mirror, I crossed my eyes in an effort to see it. Sure enough, at the top of my vision I could see the top portion of the spiraling horn. It was perhaps a bit awkwardly large, even. How I had managed to not get it stuck in anything yet kind of amazed me. I sighed, at least I wasn’t horrifically ugly or something, that would’ve been just my luck. I made my way over to her bed and flopped down on top of it, too tired to get myself under the sheets. They smelled like her. I let all the bad that had happened to me slip my mind. Regardless of what had happened today, tomorrow would be a new day. With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
AUTHORS NOTE:
Wow. I’m going be honest and say that I feel awful for doing this, but I think there are at least three people who want to know how this story ends (lol), and I don’t want to leave anyone hanging. I have made the decision that I’m not going to finish this Fic, partially because I now know it is extremely cliché, but also because I’m simply not proud of my narrative style. If I gone through all I had planned out, I’d say it would’ve been roughly 7 chapters of around 2-3 thousand words each, which is a lot of work put into something that I don’t even think I would have much of an appreciation for. I mostly wrote this for fun, but I also want it to help me improve my writing, and before I publish another fic that is exactly what I’m going to do.
Just for a little bit of closure for anyone who might care though, let me fill you in on how the story might have gone if I had finished. But first, background; The main character is a young Star Swirl the bearded, simultaneously having his memory erased and being sent into the future by a great magical catastrophe (I had kind of thought it would be his own over ambitious tampering with ancient magic artifacts and perhaps releasing the spirit that would possess Luna to become nightmare moon, I never worked out those details which was a BIG problem), I always imagined a big flashy explosion though. I will simply refer to it as the ‘event’. He is plopped into the modern day equestrian everfree forest, where in a stunned daze(that he later would have vague dreams of his first night in equestria), he eventually stumbles into the clearing behind fluttershy’s cottage. She finds him about an hour later, unconscious. This is where the story begins.
The Amulet is actually a creation of his own design, as star swirl was, much like twilight, a magical prodigy. Unlike twilight, however, star swirl focused more on discovering magic for himself rather than studying others work. He created the Amulet as a magical failsafe, to guard against thousands of worst case scenarios, as he was fully aware of the dangers associated with his own magical pioneering. It was intricately enchanted to monitor surroundings and protect the wearer from all kinds of harm, from prying mental attacks to badly brewed potions and backfiring spells, and to a lesser extent it would protect from directly offensive magical spells (one does not become a maverick without making enemies). It was enough to save star swirl from being killed in the ’event’, but not enough to save his mind. Protecting star swirl’s body from being destroyed put so much strain on the amulet’s enchantments that it essentially ‘blew a fuse’, breaking the crystal that was the source powering its enchantments. Twilight, after meeting him and finding him oddly familiar (she had seen pictures of the old star swirl before, after all), she is immediately enraptured by the amulet. Recognizing it’s power and significance, she set about in an effort to fix it, sure that once it was fixed it would reveal something of the main character’s identity. She was, of course, correct. She is really more interested in learning about it then finding out the main characters identity though. Twilight also begins teaching him how to use magic again (he is a quick learner). While twilight slaves away at the amulet, star swirl meets the others of the main 6, fluttershy purposefully introducing him to them as she does her errands. I had all their reactions to him figured out mostly, summarized; rarity is disgusted with his taste, which is apparently something that doesn’t change when you lose your memory (robes, though I thought mentioning bells would give away who he was completely). When Fluttershy goes to help AJ with a rabbit problem, star swirl helps around the orchard. He’s not particularly strong, so he doesn’t help very well, but AJ appreciates him for trying anyway. He gains her respect. He does nothing to impress Rainbow dash, in fact, rainbow mostly finds him pretty boring, an egghead. Pinkie acts towards him, well, like she acts towards everypony. All the ponies are quick to mention how alike him and twilight are, much to his chagrin. He actually doesn’t like twilight particularly well. I was juggling a lot of ideas in regards to the relationship between him and fluttershy, so I can’t really settle on any specifics other than that they become quite close. They are teased for being marefriend-coltfriend, but they always deny it.
Eventually, twilight fixes the amulet and upon placing it upon star swirl’s neck, it detects and vocally diagnoses his magic induced amnesia. In the course of doing this, it identifies him as star swirl. Twilight has a small mental breakdown, spouting how it was impossible, even though when she cross references he exactly matches a description of a young star swirl. None of her history books ever said anything about this happening to star swirl. She contacts Celestia who is also puzzled by this dilemma at first. It’s after this point that I wasn’t really sure how I would proceed. I thought that perhaps the amulet would have a way of giving him his memory back, but it couldn’t happen immediately for some reason (that’s another detail I never really worked out). That way he would have to deal with the implications of his identity without having the memories that really make him who he is, and the expectations people have of him to be a great wizard. When star swirl gets his memory back and the nature of the time paradox is revealed, celestia states quite plainly that he would have to go back in time to prevent the event in order to erase it from history. Essentially, close off the time loop to isolate it from the normal time flow. He would essentially cease to exist, sacrificing himself to save equestria, allowing the star swirl that twilight is familiar with in her history books to live without the event ever occurring, and history continuing as it should. Of course, due to the fact that he had been sent to a future unaffected by his mistake, he knew that he would succeed in his mission, but he also knew that he would die. Of course his newfound friends protest, but star swirl understands what he must do. Include requisite emotional scene with him saying goodbye to fluttershy. Celestia sends him back and there is epic battle between him and the entity that would otherwise cause the event, star swirl with all his memory and magical power. Anyway, there is a lot missing in there, as it takes a while for twilight to fix the amulet, and during that time he becomes good friends with all the main 6. These are details I never really got past the preliminary stages, They were more just concepts. Again I apologize that it had to be this way.