Lewd Sloppy Sucking Noises
The blackboard stood defiantly before him. No matter where he looked, that simple statement- a scrappy equation, scribbled in chalk and containing a bunch of symbols he didn’t even vaguely recognise from maths classes in school- drew him back.
Weird squiggle, strange lines, drawing of sperm, more wiggly lines, crude drawing of Celestia, a bunch of royal Cutie-marks, and some more stuff.
If he was being perfectly honest, he had no idea what it meant. But Twilight and Cadance has already lectured him on it- though Cadance had definitely just copied his sister. There was no way she could even read that mess. He, at least, had worked out that the equals sign in the middle probably meant it was an equation.
“So!” Barked Twilight Sparkle from his side, “Have you worked out the answer yet?” She was a little intimidating in lecture mode. Especially when she had her mane up in a bun and a cane floating around her. He couldn’t help but shudder when she glared at him- Cadance was eerily good at roleplaying as teacher Twilight.
“Uh…” He mumbled, his mind distracted by thoughts of his wife and her weird incestual thing. He didn’t mind, of course, she looked good no matter who she was trying to be. The whole ‘Call me your slutty little sister!’ thing got a bit weird sometimes though- especially when anyone overheard, and had to be bought off.
She sighed and smacked her forehead into the board, dealing him a light whack on the hoof with her cane.
“Obviously, it means that you- the father of Flurry Heart, the only born Alicorn in thousands of years- have some sort of Alicorn gene. Considering I too have both wings and a horn, even if I did ascend, it points to something in our bloodline.” She rapped a hoof on the board, startling him from his boredom-induced dozing, and he hastily tried to cover a yawn, lest she swing at him again. “And we need to do a simple experiment to discover if we have the potential to make more Alicorns.”
“Soooo…” He hummed, “You want me to get Caddy pregnant again? I mean, that’s not really something that I alone should be- Ow!” The cane sniped his ear, followed by a board rubber that cracked him across the chin with a small explosion of powdered chalk.
“Have you been listening at all?” Twilight snapped, “Cadance is another variable. As an Alicorn, she can’t be involved!” She sighed and shook her head. “Am I really related to this dimwit?” She muttered, just loud enough that it was obvious.
She drew herself up and marched over to the cowed stallion, cane held menacingly behind her. Her eyes were narrowed and mean, her voice was low and vicious, “Need I explain myself again, you absolute moron-
“Hey, that’s my hubby you’re talking to!” Cadance patted her on the shoulder and drew her back. “I know he’s stupid, but please, I need him in one piece. And you do too, if you want this experiment to work.” She grabbed Shining by the ears and forced her to stare into her eyes.
Slowly, carefully, she pointed him towards the board. “See?” She said, as if she was talking to a young foal. Actually, just a really stupid pony- she never spoke to Flurry like this at all. “That’s you, on the left there. You -your sperm, in particular- plus pony, equals…”
She was doing that teacher thing herself now. Was Twilight infectious or something? The way she had left her sentence hanging was obvious enough, now he just had to remember what they had been talking about before he’d started sneaking peeks down at her teats whilst she talked. Hah, they were still a little swollen from Flurry. Good ol’ Flurry Heart.
“Alicorns!” He announced suddenly. That’s what they had been talking about. The way he wasn’t beaten to a bloody mess by his scowling sister meant it was probably the right answer.
“Ah! The retard-whisperer strikes again! Well done, Cadance.” Cadance smiled and hummed happily, giving him a little proud peck, and leaving him alone once more.
“So who do I, ahem, put it in?” He ventured, still expecting a thwack if he misstepped. “That Rainbow Dash pegasus, right? She has great genes. Just think how wonderful- Owch!”
Both Twilight and Cadance smacked him, one cheek each. He had been so close to avoiding the pain, as well. Why did he have to mention the one pony that Cadance was actually jealous of- the rainbow mane was no easy feat, it turned out. She’d slung no less than four dye-makers and sellers in the palace dungeons already that year because ‘rainbow dye’ hadn’t been possible. He had blamed it on post-pregnancy hormones at the time, but he was beginning to think she had a bit of a jealous streak.
It probably didn’t help that the last mare that had slept with him had been able to actually shapeshift, not just dress up. Chrysalis hadn’t been so bad, had she?
“Just…” Twilight but a hoof to her head and let out a long, tired groan. All morning this had taken.
Cadance hushed her and took the cane, sitting her down gently, before taking control.
“Fuck yourself, basically, dear.” She said, nice as pie.
Well, there was no need for this sort of rudeness! Sure, he wasn’t the brightest, but that was just mean. “Now listen here-
“Shh.” She shushed him like the mother she was. “Seriously, that’s the experiment. Fuck yourself and see if you turn into an alicorn.”
“Oh.” Well, he had to admit, it seemed like a cool idea- not only did that mean he might get wings and things, which were awesome; he might also become the most eligible bachelor in Equestria. Mares would be lining up at his door- maybe even Celestia or Luna might want a go! That would be one heck of a royal baby...Those heavenly flanks too, so warm and-
“Just do it, you moron.” Twilight growled.
There was just one problem. “Uh, how? My dick doesn’t bend quite that far…And I’m pretty sure anal doesn’t actually, y’know, make babies.” He looked at his smirking wife, “Does it?”
“Right! I’ve had it!” His sister shouted, pulling a collar from behind the board. “I tried being nice, I tried the scientific approach- I even tried getting Cadance to move you along!” She stormed towards him, horn blistering with magic.
His wife, he noticed, had hidden herself behind a small barricade of books, boxes, and a lab desk.
Magic grabbed him by the throat, pushing him onto his back and holding him chokingly tight. “Breathe.” Twilight commanded. A collar tightened around his neck. “Good.”
She backed up, a lead wrapped around her hoof. She yanked it, and he was jolted into a sitting position. A pink bolt of light arced from Cadance’s hiding place, striking him in the crotch.
“Oh, sweet mother of- Unff!” He moaned, as he felt the familiar touch of her remote spells on his stallionhood. Barely a moment had passed before he was standing proud at full mast. Though he couldn’t help but feel a little awkward at the way Twilight was watching...and fidgeting between her back legs.
“O-okay then.” Twilight snapped the leash and cleared her throat. She twisted the lead around, and pulled it through a ring on the floor, forcing his head down. “Now suck it.”
He resisted, eyeing his large, throbbing cock with the same fear he had once seen in Cadance’s eyes, “Do I have any s- Hck!”
He had never sucked a dick before. Well, other than that one time he had been dared to in the barracks, but that didn’t count because it had been a double-donkey-dare. And that had been long, long ago. Nearly three week ago, even, and only Cadance, who had forced him down, and three or four, or maybe ten or so, other ponies had witnessed it, so really, it hadn’t happened.
He had to admit, in the least gay way he possibly could- Was blowing himself even gay?- that he was just as great as he had heard Cadance boast. His cock was surprisingly, well...nice. Private Crystal- Shield? Ward? Crystal-something, hadn’t tasted anywhere near as good. Even though he couldn’t remember that as it was so long ago.
Twilight mumbled something and tugged on the leash. He couldn’t see what she was doing, but the unmistakable smell of mare-scent was reaching his nose, a tiny note of smell beyond the intoxicating aroma of his own musk. Clearly, having him lightly suckling his own tip wasn’t enough though, as she yanked hard and forced him down.
His eyes bulged and he coughed as his cock was forced past his lips and his tongue was pinned down by the hot meat, left to flick up along the length still outside his mouth.
He had just realised how large his penis was. He had barely reached the medial ring, and breathing was already getting tricky. Cadance really was a gifted pony. “Mmf.” He managed to moan, the squeezing of his throat on his tip sending little shivers of pleasure along his stallionhood. A bead of saliva dribbled down.
“Go on! Faster! I don’t have all day!” Twilight shouted, breaking his horny trance. The leash was holding tight, and a hoof touched the back of his head. A warm whisper reached his ear, “Come on, you whore. You know you love it.” When had Twilight learned to sound sexy?
Then she shoved down, forcing his head down onto his cock. He choked and wretched as his unprepared throat was forced to accommodate the large length. Drool began to spill from his overfull mouth, as his eyes began to water at the strange mixture of pleasure and, well, pleasure. It was almost like when Cadance sucked him off, but he had the feelings from both ends- and she always seemed pretty damn happy to be doing it.
He moaned in ecstasy as he swept his tongue about. Twilight seemed to think that meant he wanted more, or at least, that’s what she had decided was happening. Her grip pushed hard, whilst her other hoof reached down, holding the base of his cock, and brushing over his balls considerably more gently and seductively than was needed for science.
“Oh, brother…” She hummed huskily, forcing her hooves closer together, and ramming his cock right down his throat.
She had to hold him down as he tried to pull up.
He swallowed, twice, three times, the constrictions making it feel oh-so incredible, even if he was beginning to black out of the lack of air. Little dark spots floated in the corners of his vision as she held him there. “Mmf, glck!” He managed to mumble sloppily.
She seemed to realise, and let him up. He arched his back and took a deep breath, a small torrent of slimy spit and pre-cum dripping down his chin and splattering on his engorged cock. He gulped down a breath, before a Twilight pushed him back down with a slick-sounding ‘Gulp’.
“Oh yeah, Shining, take it all.” She moaned, bouncing his head down as she slowly groped him.
He had never thought he would one day be swallowing down his own salty pre, and slicking his throat that he might take his own cock deeper down. Though her grip was keeping him gently bobbing on his own knob, he realised it was almost all his own work now. Had he just discovered a secret hidden fetish for sucking dicks? His own dick, at least.
His smooth, warm meat pulsated in his mouth, earning another lusty moan. Why was he enjoying this so much? He was reaching lower and lower, as sloppy sucking noises rang through the quiet room, accompanied by various moans.
“Gluck, gluck, gluck.” It was the only noise he could make. Even the sound was turning him on.
All too soon, he felt himself getting close. The new experience was driving him to peak far faster than normal- even Cadance normally took a while, and she was truly a gifted mare. It wasn’t just a blowjob though- he was getting all hot sucking it too! Giving and receiving, at the same time, from the same pony. He almost managed to ponder it, before giving in to his desires and slobbering all over his hard cock as it hit the back of his throat, slipping down further and further with each thrust.
“Mmf! Mmf!” He gurgled, feeling the familiar, lovely pressure building in his crotch. Rivulets of drool and throaty slime flowed down the sides of his mouth, pooling on his shining balls, as Twilight massaged them softly.
She seemed to sense it too, pulling his head free. He panted, “Oh, sweet fucking Cele- GLP!”
She knew exactly what she was doing. And he loved her all the more for it. He would have done the same by himself, but something about being forced down on it made it all the hotter.
The pressure grew, his eyes watered at the intensity of the sensations, familiar and new alike.
She bounced him deeper, slower.
Once, twice, thrice…
“Mmff!” He mumbled as his cock swelled,filling his throat. She rammed him down, until his nose was nestled in his musky balls, filling his nostrils with the mixed scents of heat, sex, and sweat.
Both of her hooves held him down, sticking him in place.
And then it came.
He shuddered and shook with the force of the orgasm, choking and gagging, milking his own cock as a thick wave of hot cum blew down his throat, painting his insides white and warm. His muffled moans of pleasure were all he could make as his throbbing dick spewed forth more and more. Even Cadance never managed to get this much out in one round!
It quickly grew too much, and cum began to wash up his throat, dribbling from around the rod filling his mouth and spilling down his chest. He coughed and moaned as he shot more cum into himself, hips bucking and shaking, and nose running with sticky, sloppy stallion slime.
A few moments of the most intense orgasmic pleasure he had ever felt passed, before Twilight yanked him back up, spluttering and gasping for breath, hacking up mouthfuls of hot cum. He sat back as she slackened the leash, panting, his chest heaving, his stomach feeling delightfully full and warm. A fine river of spunk flowed from the corner of his mouth.
A hoof patted him on the shoulder. “How was that, Shining?” Cadance purred. Her hooves stank of her own juices. Has she just gotten off watching him get himself off?
“I…” He murmured, his mind still broken from the shattering orgasm. “I…”
“Give him a second, Cadance. I think he’s still swallowing.” Twilight said, a strange twinge of pride and...longing? In her voice.
He gulped, sending another good load of goo down into his belly. His eyes began to refocus, and he took in his drool-soaked cock, still hard, and the puddle of his own spoo he sat in. White liquid still dribbled from his tip, and he absent-mindedly smeared it around with a hoof, savouring the afterglow, and the delicious scent.
“Alright then.” Twilight said, flicking out a clipboard and pencil. “So, are we noticing any changes?”
“Well, he looks more dopey and slutty than he has in weeks.” Cadance offered, earning an amused snort.
“Any other changes, Shining? Magical surges, tingling feeling in your back? Sudden realisation of your true purpose?” She prowled around him, hooves slapping sloppily in the fluids.
“Uh...No? My belly feels good.” He said.
Twilight and Cadance shared a sigh. They muttered behind their hooves for a moment, before Twilight bade them goodbye and stormed off.
“So then, Dear.” Cadance cupped his chin and gazed into his watery eyes, “Twilight’s given me the go-ahead for a little further experimentation…”
One week later…
“It worked!? I-I’m sorry...What?!” Twilight stood, flabbergasted, before the two alicorn royals of the Crystal Empire. “How...what-? No…?” Her mind would not believe her eyes, and yet, right before her, Shining Armour was flexing his majestic white wings.
“Mhm, yup. Your experiment worked, Twily! All I had to do was chug a few gallons of my own spunk- which Cadance was more than happy to help with- And then I woke up like this!” He spun around, his large wingspan buffeting the air and ruffling Twilight’s mane. “Pretty cool, right?” He chuckled.
“Experiment?- Shining you...You cosmic imbecile!” She shouted, finally giving in to her mounting incredulousness, “There was no experiment! That was a bet!” She stomped her hoof, cracking the ornate crystal pathway, “A drunken bet between Cadance and I! A bet!”
“Dear?” Shining turned to his wife, more than a little confused and hurt. Why wasn’t Twilight utterly ecstatic? Her experiment had worked, he had ascended. Why was she so angry?
“She totally bet me, the Princess of Love, that I couldn’t get you to suck your own dick without me touching you.”
“But...She- but I? The experiment…” He mumbled, scratching his head with a wingtip.
“Screw you, Cadance.” Twilight growled, her vicious surl almost breaking her teeth as the ground together harshly. She smacked a few Bits into Cadance’s outstretched hoof, spat at her smug face, and flew off in furious blast of wind and feathers.
“So...What did I-” Shining began, but her hoof shushed him.
“Y’know, those wings might not get any stronger if you don’t keep them nourished.” She hummed, flicking his underbelly with her feathers, “How about we see if they need any help in the barracks, hmm? You can put on a show, at the very last.”
And with that, she snapped a collar around his neck, and led him off.
Author's Note
Literally Majin's fault. Not even kidding.
